We are now at the halfway mark as far as 2013 is concerned. This is the time of year that self-important film critics (both online and elsewhere) tell their readers what type of year it’s been so far.
So, without further ado — what type of year has 2013 been so far?
(Also, please understand that my opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the any other contributor here at TSL. And I reserve the right to change my opinion.)
Best Film Of The Year (So Far): Upstream Color (with The Bling Ring, This Is The End, Spring Breakers, Before Midnight, Frances Ha, Iceman, and Much Ado About Nothing as close runner-ups.)
Best Male Performance Of The Year (So Far): Michael Shannon in Iceman (with James Franco in Spring Breakers as a close runner-up).
Best Female Performance of the Year (So Far): Greta Gerwig in Frances Ha (with Emma Watson in The Bling Ring as a close runner-up.)
Best Voice Over Performance Of The Year (So Far): Steve Carell in Despicable Me 2.
Best Ending of the Year (So Far): Upstream Color
Best Horror Film Of The Year (So Far): Maniac
Most Underrated Film Of The Year (So Far): The Last Exorcism Part 2
Best Bad Film Of The Year (So Far): Safe Haven
Worst Film Of The Year (So Far): Tyler Perry’s Temptation, which was a guilty pleasure up until it turned out that Tyler Perry is apparently a messenger from God.
Biggest Example Of A Missed Opportunity For This Year (So Far): Man of Steel, which started out so strong before it became just another series of mind-numbing CGI sequences.
The Get Over It Already Award For The First Half of 2012: Disconnect. Hey, everyone, did you know that the Internet makes people feel disconnected from others? If this is news to you, then you’ll probably think Disconnect is a really profound movie.
The Cameron/Fincher Bandwagon Trophy (Awarded To The Upcoming Film That, Regardless Of Quality, Will Probably Be So Violently Embraced By People Online That You’ll Be Putting Your Life In Danger If You Dare Offer Up The Slightest Amount Of Criticism): Elysium
The Trailer That Has Most Outgrown Its Welcome: Elysium
The Sasha Award (Awarded To The Film That I Am Predicting Will Be The Most Overrated Of The Year): August: Osage County
The Stone Award (Awarded to the upcoming film that will probably get positive reviews based on the film’s political context as opposed to the film itself): The Butler
The Roland Emmerich/Rod Lurie Award For The Film That I’m Predicting Will Be The Worst Of 2012: Could any film possibly be worst than Tyler Perry’s Temptation?
Films I’m Looking Forward To Seeing In The Future (An incomplete list): American Hustle, Anchorman: The Legend Continues, Carrie, Dallas Buyers Club, Foxcatcher, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Inside Llewyn Davis, Insidious Chapter 2, Nebraska, Only God Forgives, Oldboy, Pacific Rim, Thor: The Dark World, The Wolf of Wall Street
Let’s hope that the second half of 2013 is better than the first.
Seriously, just because the Mayans were wrong, that’s no excuse for bad cinema.