A Movie A Day #202: Broken Bars (1995, directed by Tom Neuwirth)

Posted on July 29, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

The streets are being flooded with lousy, synthetic heroin. Could the source be somewhere inside of Trabuco Federal Prison? That is what Nick Slater (Ben Maccabee) has been assigned to find out. Nick is a tough cop but now he is going undercover, pretending to be a tough but incarcerated bank robber. Nick discovers that Trabuco is like no other prison out there. For one thing, Wings Hauser is the warden. Warden Pitt is a smirking Aryan who forces his prisoners to box for his amusement and who enforces discipline with a CIA-style torture chamber. (Because the Warden is a boxing fanatic who likes to reward his best fighters, he also regularly brings prostitutes into the prison, which allows the film to reach its quota of B-movie nudity.) Even worse, Warden Pitt and the head of the Aryan Brotherhood, Jigsaw (Paulo Tocha) are working together. Only Nick can end Warden Pitt’s reign of terror but he will have to survive prison first. Fortunately, Ben knows how to throw a punch and deliver kick and he is going to have to do a lot of both if he is going to make it out alive.

Broken Bars is a dumb but entertaining movie, with plenty of action and Wings Hauser villainy. Ben Maccabee’s a credible 90s style action hero. He may not be as good an actor as Dolph Lundgren or as fast as Jean-Claude Van Damme but, by the end of Broken Bars, there is no doubt that he could easily knock out Steven Seagal. It’s no surprise that the best thing about the movie is Wings Hauser. As anyone who ever watched late night Cinemax in the 90s knows, Wings Hauser was usually the best thing about any movie that he appeared in. As a character, Warden Pitt is demented even by the standards of Wings Hauser and Hauser obviously had a ball screaming his lines. B-movie stalwart Joe Estevez also shows up, playing a good guy for once.

Joe Estevez and Wings Hauser in the same movie? Who cares if it’s any good? Hauser and Estevez together is just another way of saying, “Must see.”

A Movie A Day #201: L.A. Bounty (1989, directed by Worth Keeter)

Posted on July 28, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Sybil Danning vs. Wings Hauser? What could go wrong with that?

Cavanaugh (Wings Hauser) is an insane drug dealer who is also an artist. When he is not coming up with elaborate ways to kill people, Cavanaugh can be found painting in his warehouse and talking to himself. Cavanaugh spends a lot of time talking. Ruger (Sybil Danning) is a former cop turned bounty hunter. In the tradition of Clint Eastwood, Ruger rarely speaks. Ruger has good reason to hate Cavanaugh. When she was a cop, Cavanaugh killed her partner. Now that Cavanaugh has kidnapped a local politician, Ruger is the obvious choice to track down Cavanaugh, get revenge for her partner, and save the next mayor of Los Angeles.

A typical low-budget late 80s action film, L.A. Bounty is distinguished by the contrast between the ferocious overacting of Wings Hauser and the underacting of Sybil Danning. This was one of Danning’s final starring roles before she retired from the movies. (She has recently returned, with cameos in two Rob Zombie productions.) It is interesting to see Danning in the type of role that would typically go to either Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson, or maybe even Chuck Norris. According to the imdb trivia section for L.A. Bounty, Danning only has 31 lines in the entire movie, which is more than I can remember her saying. Danning, however, is such a strong physical presence that she does not have to say anything to make her point or show how tough she is. Hauser, on the other hand, never stops talking, moving, and laughing. This is one of Hauser’s craziest performances, which is saying something. From scene to scene, Hauser’s performance is so consistently bizarre that it keeps things entertaining.

L.A. Bounty may not be anything spectacular but fans of Danning and Hauser will not be disappointed.

6 Trailers: The Return of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse And Exploitation Film Trailers

Posted on July 7, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi there! As some of you may have noticed, I took a week off from my favorite feature, Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers. I did this in observance of the 4th of July but now that the USA has celebrated yet another birthday, it’s time to get back to the things that really matter!

Our latest installment features Wings Hauser, a psychotic housekeeper, rabid grannies, and even a little dancing. Enjoy!

1) Nightmare At Noon (1988)

This almost ludicrously violent trailer has a slight Crazies feel to it, no?

2) Deadly Force (1983)

After that last trailer, I’m in the mood for some more Wings Hauser. Here he is in yet another violent trailer, this one for Deadly Force. I want to see this film just to find out what type of person keeps a bathtub and a grand piano in the same room.

3) The Housekeeper (1986)

She cooks. She cleans. She kills. And really, judging from the trailer, who can blame her?

4) The Ghost Dance (1980)

When you disturb the dead, you might pay the price. Like the best movies, this trailer comes with a message.

5) Rooftops (1989)

I like this one because it features dancing and … well, that’s about it.

6) Rabid Grannies (1989)

AGCK!

What do you think, Trailer Kitty?

Doc, the trailer kitty

All Of My Love And 6 More Trailers

Posted on April 21, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi there and welcome to another edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers! Today, we bring you 6 trailers featuring endangered streetwalkers, lost teenagers, and killer monkeys.

1) Monkey Shines (1988)

Our first trailer comes to us from director George A. Romero. The monkey from this trailer also made an appearance in Toy Story 3.

2) Survival Run (1979)

As a film, Survival Run looks pretty bad but I think this trailer actually provides a public service. Seriously, stay out of the desert. Between the radiation mutants and the drug smugglers, there’s nothing good to be found out there.

3) Streets (1990)

I can imagine the tag line for a rerelease of this film — “Before Christina Applegate was keeping it Up All Night, she was keeping it up on the Streets!” I have to give credit for this discovery to the newest addition to TSL, the Trash Film Guru. Check out his review here.

4) Street Asylum (1990)

Continuing the theme of the streets, here’s another film about urban crime. This one stars Wings Hauser and G. Gordon Liddy.

5) Fatal Skies (1990)

Things aren’t much safer in the skies. This film, oddly enough, apparently star Timothy Leary.

6) The Freeway Maniac (1988)

Obviously, he’s been spending too much time on Central Expressway during rush hour. (Yes, that’s a Dallas-centric comment.)

6 Trailers In Search Of a Title

Posted on April 9, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Without further delay, here’s the latest edition of Lisa’s favorite grindhouse and exploitation trailers.

1) Something Weird (1967)

I just had to start out with this because it represents everything that I love about these old school exploitation trailers. It’s just so shameless and cheerful about it all. This film is from Herschell Gordon Lewis and it features ESP, a really kinda scary witch, and a random LSD trip. The title of this film also inspired the name of one of my favorite companies, Something Weird Video. (I make it a point to buy something from Something Weird every chance I get. My most recent Something Weird video is a film from the 60s called Sinderella and the Golden Bra. Haven’t gotten a chance to watch it yet but with a title like that, how could it be bad?)

2) Fade to Black (1980)

This is actually a really, really bad movie and I think the trailer goes on for a bit too long but it does have a few vaguely effective moments — i.e., when Dennis Christopher stares at the camera with half of his face painted. Plus, you can catch a young Mickey Rourke acting a lot like Michael Madsen.

3) Monster Shark (1984)

Now you may think that since this Italian film was directed by Lamberto Bava (credited here as John Old, Jr. because his father, Mario, was occasionally credited as John Old, Sr.) and has the word “shark” in the title that it’s yet another rip-off of Jaws. Well, joke’s on you because, as they state repeatedly in the trailer, “It’s not a shark!” Even if you didn’t know this was an Italian film before watching the trailer, it wouldn’t be hard to guess. First off, there’s the dubbing. Then there’s the scene of the film’s main character wandering around aimlessly. (Most Italian horror trailers feature at least one scene of someone just walking around.) And finally, there’s the fact that this is yet another trailer that uses a sped-up version of Goblin’s Beyond The Darkness soundtrack for its background music. While I haven’t seen this film yet, I plan to just to find out who Bob is.

4) Van Nuys Boulevard (1979)

Originally, I was planning on including the trailer for a Ted V. Mikels’ film called The Worm Eaters right here but I reconsidered because, quite frankly, The Worm Eaters is one of the most disgusting, stomach-churning things I’ve ever seen. I’m going to wait until I find five other equally disgusting trailers to feature it with and then I’m going to put them all up under the heading: 6 Trailers To Inspire Vomit. Until then, enjoy a far more pleasant trailer — Van Nuys Blvd. This trailer rhymes! I’m tempted to say that I could have written it but then again, I only write free verse poetry. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Van Nuys Blvd.

5) Vice Squad (1982)

However, there was a darker side to Van Nuys Blvd. and here it is: Vice Squad, starring Wings Hauser. Eventually, I’ll review this film but until I do, check out our new friend Trash Film Guru’s review.

6) Crosstalk (1982)

We’ll conclude with the only thing scarier than Wings Hauser in Vice Squad — a computer that has not only witnessed a murder but enjoyed it!

Rubber: Red Band Trailer

Posted on March 12, 2011 by Arleigh

This film called Rubber has been on the periphery of my radar for quite some time now. I’ve first heard of it when word trickled out of the After Dark Film Festival in 2010 where it was shown. From what I’ve heard of it the film wasn’t well-received when it was shown at 2010’s Cannes Film Festival. I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t seen in a positive light over there. This film seems to be not the usual fare to get the applause and accolades.

Rubber seems to have gotten a more positive response outside of Cannes. This is especially true with the genre festival circuits.

From the looks of the trailer and synopsis of it on wiki I will hazard a guess and say that the tire is alive and looks to go on some sort of killing spree. The scene in the beginning of the trailer reminded me of the short film Treevenge! especially when the tire watched as a pile of rubber tires were being burned.

The film has been called a horror comedy and the trailer definitely gives it a dark comedy look to it. It comes out from Magnet Releases this April Fools Day.