Guilty Pleasure No. 74: Van Helsing (dir by Stephen Sommers)

Posted on January 16, 2025 by Arleigh

What can I say about this 2004 action horror film that can do it justice at just how it perfectly represent what I call a “guilty pleasure”.

Van Helsing by Stephen Sommers (him being at his most Stephen Sommersist) was suppose to be a new action franchise with Hugh Jackman as it’s lead. One must remember that in 2004, Hugh Jackman was still at the height of his popularity as an action star with roles as Wolverine in the X-Men film franchise and, in another guilty pleasure of mine, Swordfish.

This film was suppose to catapult him to the stratosphere and taking the action star role from aging ones such as Arnold Schwarzenneger, Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis. Instead Stephen Sommers reached for that brass ring and failed, but did so with a mish-mash of horror properties blended haphazardly to give us a film that tried to be too much yet also not enough.

Hugh Jackman in the title role was more than game to try and prop up the film’s convoluted plot. Kate Beckinsale was stunning as usual and hamming it up in what I could only guess is here version of a Transylvanian accent. Even Richard Roxbrough in the role of Dracula, miscast as he seem to be in the role, gave a campy and scenery-chewing performance that his performance went past bad and circled back to being entertaining.

Yet, for all its flaws, I actually enjoy Van Helsing for what it was and that was a modern version of those Abbott and Costello mash-up with the Universal horror characters of the 40’s and 50’s. One cannot mistake this film on the same level as Nosferatu (Murnau, Herzog and Eggers versions) and Sommers definitely cannot be mistake for the three auteurs who had their own take on the abovementioned film. But Sommers does make thrilling, though some would say repetitive, action films.

Did I turn my brain off watching Van Helsing?

I sure did, but it still didn’t stop me from being entertained…and I cannot ever sat anything bad about a film with Kate Beckinsale in a tight black-red leather corset. It’s against some sort of law to do so.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

Behold the Live Action How to Train Your Dragon Teaser!

Posted on November 22, 2024 by Leonard Wilson

It’s been almost 15 years since the original How to Train Your Dragon was released. Taking a page out of Disney’s playbook, it looks like Dreamworks’ & Universal Pictures have decided a Live Action version was in order. Whether it was just to keep the story fresh in the minds of audiences, or to refresh the copyrights, here we have it. This was wild surprise on the big screen for me, because at first I thought it was a commercial for a possible theme ride at Universal Studios or something. It wasn’t until Gerard Butler showed up (reprising his role as Stoick the Vast) that it hit me – this is an actual movie. I have mixed feelings about this. With director Dean Deblois returning to the helm, there’s no way they can mess this up. I’ll be there for this. I’m totally sold. Then again, if it’s a shot-for-shot remake like Gus Van Sant’s Psycho or Jon Favreau’s The Lion King, would it still be entertaining? To Universal’s credit, Toothless and the other dragons look pretty good.

Universal/Dreamworks’ How to Train Your Dragon, starring Mason Thames (The Black Phone), Nico Parker (The Last of Us), Nick Frost (Hot Fuzz) and Julian Dennison (Deadpool 2) will be released next year in Cinemas.

The team is back in The Bad Guys 2 Trailer!

Posted on November 22, 2024 by Leonard Wilson

It looks like the 2nd greatest heist team (after the Crimson Paw) is back for another go around in The Bad Guys 2! Director Pierre Perifel and the cast have returned and the story finds our newly released & reformed thieves trying to do good. Of course, it doesn’t help that a heist team of admirers have asked The Bad Guys for assistance on a caper. Will the team stay reformed? Will the movie finally use Billie Eillish’s “Bad Guy” in the film, for a change?

We’ll find out when the movie releases next summer.

Leigh Whannell updates a classic with his Wolf Man teaser!

Posted on September 6, 2024 by Leonard Wilson

I’ve enjoyed Leigh Whannell’s streak of films since going solo. His work on the Saw and Insidious films with James Wan is well known. Upgrade was a fantastic film and is one of my favorites of his. I enjoyed The Invisible Man, which took a unexpected approach to the original story. He’s at it again with Wolf Man, and it looks like it’s a more personal story here.

Starring Christopher Abbot (Poor Things) and Julia Garner(Sin City: A Dame to Kill For) star in the film, which seems to be about a family defending themselves while camping from a beast in the woods. I just hope the effects in this are on par with Joe Johnston’s The Wolfman. We’ll have to find out.

One cool thing to note here is that like James Wan did with his partner Ingrid Bisu for Malignant, Wolf Man is a spousal / partner affair. Both Lauren Schuker-Blum (wife of Blumhouse CEO Jason Blum, who produces the film) and Whannell have writing duties on this, along with Whannell’s wife, Corbett Tuck (Insidious & Insidious: Chapter 3).

Wolf Man will being in Theatres and IMAX next January.

Here’s the Superbowl Trailer for Twisters!

Posted on February 11, 2024 by Leonard Wilson

I honestly didn’t even know they were remaking Jan de Bont’s Twister. This looks a lot like the original, and with Anthony Ramos (Transformers: Rise of the Beasts) and Glen Powell (Top Gun: Maverick) in the cast, it looks like it could be fun. Enjoy.

Ryan Gosling is your Stuntman-for-Hire in The Fall Guy Trailer!

Posted on November 2, 2023 by Leonard Wilson

Back in the 1980s, nestled between shows like The A-Team, Miami Vice, Matt Houston and McGuyver, you had The Fall Guy. It starred Lee Majors (The Six Million Dollar Man) as a stunt man who worked part time as a bail bondsman to keep himself financially afloat. It was a great show growing up, and always showcased some wild stunt in the same fashion The Mission Impossible films have with a wild infiltration event.

So, imagine my surprise when I saw the trailer for a movie version of The Fall Guy, this time with Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt. Directed by David Leitch (Deadpool 2), the movie changes the story a bit, with a major movie star (played by Bullet Train‘s Aaron Taylor-Johnson) going missing and Gosling searching for him. It already feels a bit like The Nice Guys, or perhaps I’m just hoping for too much. I’m really excited for this.

The film is due in theatres March of 2024.

Horror Film Review: The Mummy’s Curse (dir by Leslie Goodwins)

Posted on October 13, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

When last we checked in with Kharis the Mummy, he was running into a swamp in Massachusetts, carrying the reincarnation of Princess Ananka with him. Chasing after him were the standard towns people with torches and guns. It’s not a Universal horror film without angry villagers, even if the movie itself is taking place in Mapleton, Massachusetts.

Upon entering the swamp, both Kharis and Ananka sunk under the water, traumatizing Ananka’s boyfriend but apparently bringing Kharis’s reign of terror to an end.

Well, not so fast!

The 1944 film, The Mummy’s Curse, opens with the townspeople talking about how Kharis continues to haunt the old swamp, so much so that most of the locals refuse to work in the swamp. Oddly enough, though, the townspeople are suddenly a mix of Cajuns and gypsies. (The film even opens with a gypsy woman singing a song in a bar.) The swamp has now become a bayou. We are repeatedly told that the film is taking place in the same location as the previous Mummy films but suddenly, that location has changed from Massachusetts to Louisiana.

As for the plot of The Mummy’s Curse, it all centers around the swamp. The Southern Engineering Company (and that really doesn’t sound like a Massachusetts company) is draining the swamp. The locals are worried that draining the swamp will bring back the curse of the mummy. Two representatives from the Scripps Museum show up and announce that they want to search the drained swamp for the remains of the mummies. Dr. James Halsey (Dennis Moore) is typical of the archeologists who tend to show up in these Mummy films. Meanwhile, his associate is Dr. Ilzor Zandeeb (Peter Coe) who — surprise! — is that latest Egyptian high priest to come to America to try to recover the bodies of Kharis and Princess Ananka.

Ananka (Virginia Christie) is the first to emerge from the swamp, though she has no memory of who she is. When she is discovered on the side of the road by Prof. Halsey and his love interest, Betty (Kay Harding), they allow her to stay at their camp on the edge of the swamp. Everyone is really impressed by the fact that this amnesiac knows so much about ancient Egypt. Eventually, Kharis (Lon Chaney, Jr., again tightly wrapped in bandages) eventually emerges from the swamp as well, determined to protect Ananka.

The Mummy’s Curse was the final film to feature Lon Chaney, Jr. as Kharis. Unfortunately, it’s pretty forgettable and certainly not a satisfying conclusion to the story of one of Universal’s original monsters. A good deal of the film’s 60-minute running time is taking up with flashbacks to previous Mummy films and it seems like it takes forever for Kharis to actually get around to spreading the usual mummy mayhem. Though it may be too much to ask for too much continuity from these films, the sudden switch from Massachusetts to Lousiana is distracting for those of us who have actually invested the time to watch the previous Mummy films. One gets the feeling that, by the time this film went into production, no one involved really cared that much about poor Kharis and his never-ending mission to protect his princess.

Previous Universal Horror Reviews:

Horror Film Review: The Mummy’s Ghost (dir by Reginald Le Borg)

Posted on October 13, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

When we last checked in with Kharis the Mummy, he was trapped in the middle of an inferno in Massachusetts. Having come to America to kill the members of the expedition that discovered the Tomb of Ananka and who brought Princess Ananka’s body to the United States, Kharis (Lon Chaney, Jr.) was trapped by the citizens of the town of Mapleton who, in the best tradition of Universal horror, cornered Kharis in a house and then set the place on fire.

1944’s The Mummy’s Ghost begins with the revelation that Kharis did not die in that inferno. Somehow, he managed to escape and, rather improbably, he’s spent the last few years wandering around town without anyone ever noticing him. The film presents Kharis as being largely a nocturnal creature but, even if he is only coming out at night, it still seems strange that no one would notice a mummy wandering around, especially since the entire town was traumatized by Kharis’s previous reign of terror. As well, it’s also been established that Kharis owes his eternal life to an ancient Egyptian plant. One reason why Kharis has always needed a “minder” is because Kharis needed someone who could keep him supplied with the plant. So, if Kharis has been wandering around Massachusetts for the past few years, from where has he been getting the plant?

The Mummy’s Ghost also established that, in Egypt, High Priest Andoheb (Georg Zucco) is still alive. This is somewhat surprising, considering that Andoheb died in both The Mummy’s Hand and The Mummy’s Tomb. But no matter! Andoheb is apparently still alive. He’s really old and his hands shake but he’s still alive and he’s still determined to bring both Kharis and Princess Ananka back to Egypt. This time, he sends Yousef Bey (John Carradine) to Massachusetts.

Yusef Bey takes over managing Kharis and he’s even able to supply Kharis with more of the special plant the keeps him alive. However, Kharis grows upset when it discovers that Bey has tracked down the reincarnation of Ananka in the person of Amina (Ramsay Ames) and that, rather than return her safely to Egypt, Bey wants to give her eternal life with the help of the plant and then marry her. This leads to Kharis going on a rampage and carrying Amina into a nearby swamp while Amina’s boyfriend, Tom Hervey (Robert Lowery), chases after them.

Full of plot holes and inconsistencies, The Mummy’s Ghost is about as silly as a mummy film can be. If the previous films about Kharis managed to create a feeling of tragic inevitability as Kharis tracked down all of the people who had entered Ananka’s tomb, The Mummy’s Ghost presents Kharis as being something more akin to Frankenstein’s Monster, an inarticulate and easily frustrated creature who does things with little rhyme or reason. That said, the film does make good use of Lon Chaney Jr’s hulking physicality as Kharis. He’s still an intimidating figure when he goes after someone. And John Carradine’s pained expression as Yousef Bey is memorable as a reminder of how much Carradine disliked most of the Universal monster films in which he found himself. Otherwise, The Mummy’s Ghost is fairly forgettable.

Previous Universal Horror Reviews:

Horror Film Review: House of Frankenstein (dir by Erle C. Kenton)

Posted on October 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

House of Frankenstein opens in a prison. Dr. Gustav Neimann (Boris Karloff), the bother of one of Baron Frankenstein’s assistants, has been convicted of robbing graves and attempting to carry on the Baron’s work. Dr. Neimann’s faithful assistant is the hunchback, Daniel (J. Carroll Naish). Daniel is loyal to Neimann because Neimann has promised to someday place Daniel’s brain in a stronger body.

When a sudden earthquake allows Neimann and Daniel to escape, they waste no time in getting revenge on Neimann’s enemies. First, they murder a traveling showman named Prof. Lampini (George Zucco) and steal both his identity and his mobile horror exhibit. Included in the exhibit is a coffin that Lampini claimed held the skeleton of Dracula. (There’s even a stake sticking out of the skeleton’s chest.) When Neimann returns to his original hometown, he removes the stake from the skeleton so that he might use it on the Burgomaster, Hussman (Sig Ruman). The skeleton transforms into Dracula (John Carradine). Because he is relieved to have been brought back to life, Dracula does not attack Neimann but instead agrees to help Neimann get revenge on Hussman in return for Neimann looking after his coffin. Dracula soon learns that he should have thought twice before trusting either Neimann or Daniel.

Neimann moves on, stopping off at Frankenstein’s village and recovering the bodies of both Frankenstein’s Monster (Glenn Strange) and Larry Talbot (Lon Chaney, Jr.) from the frozen chamber in which they were trapped at the end of Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man. Revived from suspended animation, Larry immediately starts whining about how much his life sucks. (I love The Wolf Man but subsequent films turned Larry into the whiniest of the Universal monsters.) Neimann promises to put Larry’s brain in a new body if he helps to revive the Monster. Larry agrees. Meanwhile, Daniel falls in love with a gypsy girl named Ilonka (Elena Verdugo) while Ilonka falls in love with Larry. Daniel wants Neimann to put his brain in Larry’s body, Larry won’t stop whining about the approaching full moon, and the villagers are getting suspicious!

House of Frankenstein has never been a favorite of critics or horror historians and the film does have its share of flaws. For instance, though it would have been fun to see Bela Lugosi return to his signature role, John Carradine seems like ideal casting for Dracula. Unfortunately, Dracula is only in the film for about ten minutes and he comes to an end that really doesn’t feel worthy of a character of his stature. The film reduces Larry Talbot to just being a dumb lug who won’t stop feeling sorry for himself. Finally, Glenn Strange has the right physique for the Monster but, much as with John Carradine, he is underused.

That said, I still enjoyed House of Frankenstein. A lot of that is because of Boris Karloff, who brings a lot of sly humor to his performance as the mad scientist. (That said, Karloff himself later said that he did the role solely for the money and was bored with the whole thing.) J. Carroll Naish turns Daniel into a rather sympathetic henchman, one who is so desperate to be “normal” that he’s willfully blinded himself to the fact that Neiman really doesn’t care about anyone other than himself. (In many ways, he’s the equivalent of the hapless characters that Michael Ripper later played for Hammer Films.) Finally, Elena Verdugo brings a lot of life to the stock role of the dancing gypsy girl who falls in love with Larry Talbot despite the fact that Larry is kind of a dumb lug.

For a modern viewer, the main appeal of House of Frankenstein is that it is one of the original Universal horror films, even if it came out long after the first Dracula and Frankenstein films. As such, it has all the things that we associate with and love about those films. There’s a ruined castle. There’s angry villagers. The cast is full of Universal horror mainstays, including Lionel Atwell and Anne Gwynne. And, yes, the film features a mob descending on the castle with torches. Flaws and all, House of Frankenstein is an enjoyable time capsule. It’s a horror film from a far more innocent age and it’s one that remains a fun watch.

Previous Universal Horror Reviews:

Matt Vaughn is back in the spy game with the Argylle Trailer!

Posted on September 28, 2023 by Leonard Wilson

I was just thinking about Matthew Vaughn this morning, with the passing of Layer Cake‘s Michael Gambon. Vaughn’s teamed up with Apple Films on Argylle, which looks like another spy caper similar to James Mangold’s Knight and Day, as well as own Kingsman series.

Argylle stars Bryce Dallas Howard (Jurassic World) as a writer who’s work may be hitting a little too close to home for a network of spies. Alongside a really cute cat, Argylle also stars Henry Cavill (Mission: Impossible – Fallout), Academy Award Winner Sam Rockwell (The Nice Guys), Emmy Award Winner Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad), Dua Lipa (Barbie), Emmy Award Winner Catherine O’Hara (Schitt’s Creek), Academy Award Winner Ariana Debose (West Side Story), John Cena and Samuel L. Jackson.

Argylle premieres in theatres next February.