Tonight’s episode tells the story of three sailors who hear an unexpected message on the radio. Two of the sailors hear that their ship will soon sink. The third sailor hears that he will live a long and fulfilling life.
One Step Beyond always claimed that all of its stories were “based on fact.” This episode actually goes the extra mile by interviewing one of the real-life sailors about the message and about whether or not he believes in the supernatural.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!
This week, even more innocent lives are destroyed by an unwinnable war on drugs.
Episode 3.5 “The Good Collar”
(Dir by Mario DiLeo, originally aired on October 24th, 1986)
This week’s episode of Miami Vice tells the story of several wars playing out on the streets of Miami.
One of the wars is the skirmish between two street gangs, made up exclusively of teenagers. Led by Count Walker (Samuel Graham), the Regular Fellas are pushing drugs and even forcing a promising football star named Archie Ellis (Keith Diamond) to deliver a package of black tar heroin for them. The Regular Fellas are at war with The Apostles. Among the members of the Apostles is Ramirez (Jsu Garcia), an undercover cop who is actually 23 but who is pretending to be seventeen.
When Crockett and Tubbs bust Archie, all three of them find themselves dragged into the National War On Drugs. Assistant State Attorney William Pepin (Terry Kinney) wants to take Count Walker down, if just so he can claim a rare victory. When Archie helps Crockett and Tubbs make a bust and also saves them from getting shot in a back alley, Pepin agrees to drop all the charges against Archie. But after Ramirez is blown up by the Regular Fellas, Pepin decides that he’s going to go ahead and charge Archie unless Archie wears a wire and gets Count Walker to confess to his crimes.
Crockett, the former football star, is outraged by Pepin’s decision to put Archie in danger. Crockett even offers to doctor the records so that Archie’s arrest will be dismissed by the courts. However, Archie refuses. Archie says that he’s responsible for his own mistakes and he’ll deal with the consequences. Unfortunately, in this case, the consequences involve Archie being shot and killed by Count Walker, though not before getting Walker to confess on tape. Walker is arrested and his gang is destroyed but at the cost of Archie’s life. Pepin is happy. Ramierz’s supervisor, Lt. Lee Atkins (John Spencer), is happy. But social worker Ed McCain (Charles S. Dutton) blames Crockett for Archie’s death. And Archie’s grandmother slams the door in Crockett’s face when he attempts to come by to pay his final respects.
What a dark episode! However, it does get to the truth of the matter. There was no way to win the War on Drugs. Even the victories in this episode feel hollow. Regular viewers of Miami Vice would have understood that someone else would eventually step into the vacuum left by Walker’s arrest. Meanwhile, Archie — a good kid with the athletic talent necessary to win a college scholarship and have a chance to escape from the poverty that he grew up in — is shot and killed because a state’s attorney needed to notch up at least one victory. Miami Vice was at its best when it was cynical and it doesn’t get much more cynical than this heartbreaking episode.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989! The series can be streamed on YouTube!
With the school year coming to an end, prejudice raises its ugly head.
Episode 3.14 “Black & White”
(Dir by John Bertram, originally aired on March 5th, 1989)
The school year is nearly over. While Bart and Scooter take pictures for the yearbook, the other students prepare for the big graduation dance. BLT asks Michelle to be his date to the dance and Michelle says yes. I have to admit that I was a bit surprised that BLT and Michelle weren’t already dating at the start of this episode. Nearly every time that we’ve seen Michelle over the course of the third season, BLT has been right there with her.
Alexa says that it’s great the Michelle is going to the dance with BLT because BLT is a great dancer. “That goes without saying,” Alexa says. After an appropriately awkward silence, Alexa adds, “Because he’s black.” Okay, Alexa, thanks for sharing…. Alexa goes on to say that her parents would never allow her to date a black person because they hate anyone who isn’t Greek. That must make their lives in Toronto very interesting….
Unfortunately, it turns out that Alexa isn’t the only student with prejudiced parents. Michelle’s mother takes one look at BLT and suddenly decides that Michelle is too young to start dating. After Michelle tells BLT the news, BLT suggests that Michelle’s mom doesn’t want her to date him because he’s black. When Michelle finally works up the courage to ask her mom if BLT is correct, her mom replies that she’s not racist at all. Instead, she’s so progressive that she understands how racist everyone else is and therefore, she has a unique understanding of how difficult it would be if Michelle ended up marrying someone who wasn’t white….
AGCK! It’s like a Canadian version of the “I would have voted for Obama a third time,” line from Get Out.
Finally, Michelle works up the courage to go with BLT to the dance anyway, regardless of what her parents may think.
Meanwhile, Spike tries to get a part-time job at a deli. The owner takes one look at her hair and then claims that Spike was late to the job interview and is therefore unhirable. “That’s prejudice,” Liz says as they walk away from the deli. And it is but it’s really not the equivalent of what BLT is dealing with. Sorry, Degrassi.
For the most part, this was an effective episode. It starts out with a jarring scene in which another students bumps into BLT and uses the “n-word.” BLT and the racist student get into a fist fight, which is broken up by an assistant principal. BLT is told that he’ll be suspended if there’s another fight but, as he explains to Snake and Wheels, there’s no way he’s going to back down if he sees the student again.
“Can’t you just ignore it?” Snake asks.
“You’re not the one being called a….” BLT says, uttering the slur.
It’s an honest scene and not one that most teen shows would have the guts to include. Hearing the word used so casually in 2024 is jarring. For American audiences, it’s sometimes good to be reminded that racism is not something that is unique to only one region of our country. It’s a worldwide thing and often those who are the quickest to brag about their tolerance are actually the most prejudiced people around.
Hey, remember that time in 2007 when all the students at Toronto’s Degrassi Community School were turned into zombies? This 10 minute film takes a non-canonical look at what would happen to everyone’s favorite Canadian high school if there was a zombie apocalypse!
(By the way, I know what you’re thinking but this was actually made in 2007, long before the premiere of The Walking Dead.)
When an American couple rents a home in London, Esther (Lois Maxwell, the future Mrs. Moneypenny) swears she can hear a baby crying. Eventually, she tracks the crying down to an upstairs room. In that room, however, she finds not just a child but also a portal into the past.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.
This week, things get emotional on Homicide!
Episode 1.4 “Son of a Gun”
(Dir by Nick Gomez, originally aired on February 10th, 1993)
Officer Chris Thormann (Lee Tergesen), a patrol officer who is friendly with the Homicide detectives and who is a bit of protegee to Steve Crosetti, has been shot. While Thormann lies in surgery with a bullet in his brain, his wife (Edie Falco, in one of her first television appearances) waits for news from the doctors and tries to avoid the members of the callous press. Crosetti demands to be put in charge of the investigation into Thormann’s shooting and when Giardello points out, quite correctly, that Crosetti is too close to the victim to be objective, Crosetti strips down to his boxers and shows Giardello the scars left behind by every time that he’s been shot.
It’s an odd scene, one that seems to come out of nowhere in an episode that, up until that moment, had been pretty serious. Kotto does a great job of capturing Giardello’s horror as Crosetti drops his pants. It’s obvious that this is not the first time that Crosetti has shown off his scars to get assigned to a certain case. It’s a scene that shouldn’t work but it does work because not only is it well-acted by Yaphet Kotto and Jon Polito but it also captures the insanity of being a homicide detective. Just four episodes in, Homicide has already shown that it can be a funny show but the humor is rooted in the darkest corners of the human experience. To survive as a homicide detective, you have to harden yourself to the point of being callous and you have to be able to see the humor in just about everything. Crosetti, with his constant analysis of the Lincoln assassination and his inventory of bullet scars, may seem crazy but actually, he’s doing what he has to do to survive.
The episode ends with Thormann alive but in a coma and possibly brain-damaged. And it ends with the shooter still at large. Crosetti has received an anonymous tip from someone saying that the killer was a man named Alfred Smith. But who knows if that’s true.
The Adeena Watson case remains open, as well. Bayliss and Pembleton are still struggling to figure out how to work together. Bayliss is too obsessed with the case. Pembleton is too determined to show up the new guy. A raid on the apartment where it’s believed Adeena was murdered turns up nothing but more evidence of human misery. That said, a cheerful guy (played by Paul Schulze) who claims to be an agent for hitmen does give up several of his clients, allowing Howard and Felton to close even more cases. Even Calpurnia Church (Mary Jefferson), the “black widow” from the pilot, is finally arrested due to the agent’s testimony.
Finally, Stanley Bolander goes on his first date with Dr. Blythe. Before going on his date, he meets his neighbor, Larry Molera (Luis Guzman). Larry is a carpenter. He’s built a coffin that is currently sitting in living room. Bolander’s date goes well but the nervous Bolander turns down Blythe’s offer to go back to her place with her. Bolander returns to his apartment, where he discovers that Larry is dead and lying in his coffin. (Much, who was called when Larry’s body was discovered, is shocked to see Bolander. Bolander is not happy that Much now knows where he lives.) Larry’s death inspires Boland to return to Dr. Blythe’s apartment.
This was an emotional episode. Thormann is clinging to his life while his wife and Crosetti wait for him to wake up. The recently divorced Bolander finally found the courage to go out with Dr. Blythe. Bayliss appears to be so obsessed with the Adeena Watson case that he’s struggling to think straight. This episode takes a look at the mental strain that comes from dealing with crime and death on a daily basis. It’s well-done, even if it’s not quite as memorable asNight of the Dead Living. (The stuff with Larry and his coffin was a bit too self-consciously quirky to be as emotionally devastating as the show obviously meant for it to be.) If I took anything away from this episode, it’s that fate is random. Officer Thormann has been shot in the head but he survived hours of surgery. Larry seemed to be healthy but he suddenly died while Bolander was on his date. Adeena’s killer may never be caught while Calpurnia Church was caught because of an initially unrelated investigation. Some of the detectives are skilled. Some of them are not. But, in the end, they’re all at the random mercy of fate.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewingthe Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, a wave of bad luck crashes into the store.
Episode 2.17 “Chain Reaction”
(Dir by Stan Jacobson, originally aired on February 15, 1987)
This is a bit of an odd episode.
For one thing, neither Jeff Pustil nor Gordon Clapp appear in this episode. As Pustil and Clapp were two of the more consistently funny performers on this show, their absence is definitely felt.
Since Pustil’s assistant manager character is said to be on vacation, Murray is temporarily promoted to assistant manager and spends this episode wearing a suit and making smarmy comments that are totally out-of-character for him.
There’s a new cashier named Amy (Kathryn Rose). We’ve never seen her before but everyone on the show acts as if she’s always been there.
This episode features everyone at a store getting a chain letter, which was an annoying thing where someone would send you a letter and tell you to send a copy of the letter to ten other people for good luck. (It’s the sort of thing that was apparently popular in the years before email.) Everyone at the store takes their chain letter seriously, except for Howard. Howard sets his chain letter on fire.
Immediately after Howard destroys the letter, ominous thunder rumbles. A fire breaks out in Howard’s office and Howard uses Edna’s sweater to put it out. A terrible smell spreads through the store, chasing away the customers and forcing the health department to order the place closed until it’s gone away. An old woman gets food poisoning from can of Pears and sues the store. Finally, Marlene tells Howard that this is all his fault, Howard insults Marlene’s hair, and Marlene quits.
Marlene is later in an accident and taken to the hospital. Howard and the gang (including the mysterious Amy) rush over to the hospital to check on Marlene. Howard goes in Marlene’s hospital room and finds a patient covered in bandages. Assuming the patient is Marlene, Howard calls her the daughter he never had and promises to rehire her and give her a raise. Surprise! The patient wasn’t Marlene but Marlene was standing behind Howard and listening the whole time.
It’s sweet but it’s also a reminder that Check It Out rarely made much effort to maintain a consistent continuity. Just a few episodes ago, Howard went undercover to save Marlene from a cult. In this episode, they act as if they’ve never had a good relationship.
This episode just feels off, to the extent that I wouldn’t have been surprised if it had ended with Howard waking up and realizing it was all a dream. The absence of Pustil and Clapp is strongly felt and the remaining characters don’t seem to be acting like themselves.
On the plus side, this episode features Marlene’s best hair yet.
Wow, the story of Aaron Hernandez gets less and less interesting with each week. American Sports Story got off to a strong start but, this week, I found myself watching the latest episode and wondering why anyone should care about Aaron and his problems. Seriously, I get that Aaron Hernandez was abused as a child. I get that he struggled as a gay man in a hypermasculine, homophobic industry. I get that he didn’t grow up privileged. I’ll even agree with the show’s criticisms of the NFL. But in the end, who cares? As portrayed on this show, Aaron Hernandez comes across as being an idiot. Beyond the fact that he played professional football, there’s nothing particularly interesting about Hernandez or his crimes. He’s not a compelling character at all.
I was far more entertained by Hell’s Kitchen this week. Gordon Ramsay and his terrified chefs are compelling characters. Ramsay was in a surprisingly supportive mood this week. That’s fine with me. I like it when Chef Ramsay’s nice. No one went home this week. Yay!
I watched and reviewed Miami Vice, The Love Boat, and Homicide. I watched a Halloween episode of Friday the 13th. I watched and shared several episodes of One StepBeyond. And, finally, I watched an episode of Dr. Phil where a man said his wife had run off with a cult.
And that’s it! Most of my attention was devoted to horror films this week.
Tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond takes us to Wales. A man confesses to murdering his mistress. The only problem is that he has an airtight alibi for the time of the attack. Everyone in his village swears they saw him asleep in church when the murder occurred.
Could the man be capable of being in two places at once?
Watch to find out! And, as always, can you prove it didn’t happen!?
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, the Sweathogs share a story about the time that they all tried to buy a car together.
Episode 4.5 “The Sweatmobile”
(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on October 9th, 1978)
Barbarino, Washington, Epstein, and Horshack sit outside of the classroom and look at the lunches that their mothers prepared for them. Epstein has a liver burrito. Barbarino has corn flakes and he’s happy about that because his mother is saint. Horshack has peanut butter and prunes and he’s not happy about that because he hates peanut butter.
(For those trying to keep track of the fourth season’s already confusing continuity, this episode features Barbarino as a student at the school, even though the previous two episodes insinuated that he was no longer attending classes. Even though Babarino now lives in an apartment by himself, his mother apparently still makes his lunch. As for the new Sweathog, Beau is neither mentioned nor seen in this episode, which leads me to suspect that this episode was originally meant to air even earlier in the season than it did.)
Carvelli and Murray walk up to the Sweathogs and Carvelli taunts them by revealing that he was able to drive to a fast food restaurant for his lunch. Seeing how desperate the Sweathogs are for real food, Carvelli offers to sell them his used car so that they too can actually get hamburgers. However, the Sweathogs tell him that they learned their lesson the last time they tried to buy a used car.
Flashback time!
The Sweathogs all pooled their money so that they could buy a used car from Vinnie’s uncle. Vinnie insisted that he would be the one who would drive the car, as he had the most experience in cars. Everyone warned the Sweathogs about the difficulty of multiple people owning and using one car. But the Sweathogs were determined to do it. They arranged to meet with Vinnie’s uncle at the hospital where Vinnie works as an orderly. However, once they arrived at the hospital, they watched as Vinnie’s uncle was wheeled in on a gurney after having wrecked the car that he was going to sell. Vinnie’s aunt mentioned that his uncle couldn’t wait to cheat whoever was dumb enough to buy a used car from him.
This was an odd episode. It was nice to see the original Sweathogs together again but the whole flashback structure felt strange. Usually, a flashback means that the audience is about to see something that happened long ago. But, in this episode, it appears that we’re watching a flashback to something that happened maybe a day or two ago. In the flashback, Barbarino is working at the hospital, Gabe is vice principal (and away at a teacher’s conference due to the fact that Gabe Kaplan was sick of doing the show), and Julie was already Woodman’s administrative assistant. As well, Julie has her terrible new haircut in the flashbacks. This is all stuff that didn’t happen until the start of the fourth season. Again, it’s hard not to feel that this was an episode that was meant to air much earlier in this season but, for some reason, it was held back and a flashback framing device was awkwardly added.
Fortunately, the original Sweathogs, despite being clearly too old to be even remedial high school students, still have the chemistry that made this show a hit during its first season. Given everything that I’ve read about just how difficult things got behind-the-scenes on this show, it was nice to see them having fun and obviously enjoying themselves. Though the episode’s structure was weird, this episode still presents viewers with one last chance to see the chemistry and comradery that made Welcome Back, Kotter a hit in the first place.
Through the Shattered Lens 