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Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.27 “April in Boston/Saving Grace/Breaks of Life”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Charo’s back!

Episode 5.27 “April in Boston/Saving Grace/Breaks of Life”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on May 1st, 1982)

April Lopez (Charo) is back!  This time, she has given up show business and is now working as a Spanish tutor for stuffy private school headmaster Bradford York (David Hedison).  She is falling for Bradford but she knows that he would never accept her as an entertainer.  Or would he?  We’re about to find out because the entertainment that Julie booked, probably while in a cocaine-fueled haze, fails to show up.  Would April be willing to perform?

April sings “Let’s get physical, physical,” in the ship’s lounge but when Bradford stops by to get a drink, April covers her face with a mask.  “If I sang like that,” Bradford says, “I’d wear a mask too….”

And that really gets to the main problem with this story.  Bradford York is jerk!  Seriously, I know why some people find Charo to be annoying and I do think The Love Boat tended to overuse the character but she deserves a lot better than Bradford York!  Eventually, of course, Bradford leans that April is the singer and he tells her that he loves her in Spanish.  (He has to ask April how to say it first.)  So, I guess it’s a happy ending  but we all know that April’s going to be single again once the sixth season starts.

As for the other storylines, Gwen (Jayne Meadows) and George Finley (Gene Rayburn) are a divorced couple who end up in the ship’s infirmary together.  We’ve never seen the infirmary before and I assume we’ll never see it again.  The two of them fall in love all over again.  It tuns out Gwen was just faking her injury so she could be with George.  It seems like Doc Bricker should have noticed that.

Finally, Grace Bostwick (Jane Powell) is a widow who is prevented from jumping overboard by Gabriel (Hugh O’Brian).  Gabriel says he’s angel, sent from Heaven to help Grace move on from her grief.  It turns out that he’s not.  He’s just someone who knew Grace was suicidal and figured he would have to come up with something dramatic to keep her from plunging into the ocean.  Everyone on the boat acts as if this makes total sense.  Grace is very forgiving.  Never has one lie been responsible for so much love.

What a weird episode.  A man pretended to be an angel, Charo performed while wearing a mask, and the ship has an infirmary!  Weird as it was, the episode kept me entertained.  I’ve always liked Charo’s mix of sincerity and flamboyance.  That said, she deserves better than Bradford York.  The angel storyline was problematic for all sorts of reasons but at least Jane Powell and Hugh O’Brian gave good performances.  They almost sold it.  Almost.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.3 “Rapscallions”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

It’s another day in L.A.

Episode 2.3 “Rapscallions”

(Dir by Gary Winter, originally aired on September 7th, 1996)

There’s a lot happening in Santa Monica or wherever it is this stupid show takes place.

Mr. Baron (Tom Towles) has hired two thugs to run all the tenants out of a building so it can be turned into a drug den.  TC and Cory help the tenants.  TC encourages one of them, Travis (Anthony De Longis), to be a big old hero.

The lifeguards challenge the bicycle cops to a street hockey game.  Victor goes crazy trying to recruit good players.  The lifeguards bring in a professional player who apparently works as a lifeguard during the summer.  The bicycle cops still manage to hold the lifeguards to a tie.  Their goalie collapses at the end of the game, apparently as a result of getting hit in the face by the puck a hundred times.  So, I guess he’s dead now.  Oh well.  At least the bike cops can feel like heroes before facing another day of people laughing about how dorky they look on their bicycles.

Palermo has a new girlfriend (Marisa Urkovich), which upsets his 16 year-old daughter, Jessie (Johna Stewart-Bowden).  Jessie wants her parents to get back together but Palermo has to explain that the divorce is final.  He is never going to remarry Jessie’s mother.  Palermo’s heart belongs to the bicycles now.

There was a lot happening in this episode and I have to admit that I really didn’t care about any of it.  After this episode ended, I started thinking about the show’s main characters and I asked myself whether or not any of them were actually likable.  I mean, let’s consider this:

Jim Davidson plays TC Callaway, who doesn’t even have a consistent backstory.  When we first met him, he was being pressured to quit his job and become an executive at his family’s business.  TC was wealthy when we first met him but we haven’t heard anything about his family or their company since then and TC certainly doesn’t act like someone who grew up with money.  Sometimes, TC has a regular girlfriend who lives with him and sometimes, it appears that he does not.  Of course, the main problem with TC is that it’s hard to keep him straight from either Victor or Palermo.  Once he puts on his riding helmet and his sunglasses, TC basically looks about as generic as someone can.  A huge part of the problem is that TC never has any facial expressions or anything that would suggest any sort of personality at all.

Darlene Vogel plays Chris Kelly, who is still whining about being on the bike patrol.  When the show started, she was obviously meant to have a will they or won’t they thing with TC but the total lack of chemistry between Darlene Vogel and every performer on the show pretty much ended that.  For someone who was originally meant to be one of the main characters, Chris never really seems to have much to do on the show.  She spent this episode smirking whenever anyone asked to see Palermo.  Everyone’s had that friend that they secretly can’t stand and that’s pretty much who Chris is on this show.

Marcos A. Ferraez plays Victor Del Toro, who at least has a bit of a personality in that he’s always getting angry about something and he always stops and stares whenever he sees anyone wearing a bikini.  (Since this series takes place on a beach in California, you can imagine the amount of time that is taken up by this.)  Victor is impulsive and competitive but he’s also a bike cop so it’s still hard not to feel like he’s overcompensating because of his job.

Paula Trickey plays Cory McNamara.  Cory is as close to being a likable character as you’re going to find on Pacific Blue and Paula Trickey, at least by this point in the series, is definitely the best member of the ensemble.  Unfortunately, the show itself seems to only be interesting in either finding excuses for her to get sprayed with water or having her get menaced while wearing a tank top.

And finally, Rick Rossovich is Lt. Palermo.  Palermo is strict and no-nonsense, which is actually what you want from a boss.  Unfortunately, for the by-the-book boss thing to be compelling, someone in the group has to be a rule-breaker and that’s not really a description that applies to anyone on Pacific Blue.  Rossovich was not a bad actor but, at least at this point in the series, Palermo still spends way too much time telling people that bicycle cops are real cops.  If you haven’t been able to convince them yet, you never will.

In short, this episode of Pacific Blue didn’t work because the cast was boring and putting them on bicycles did not help.  Hopefully, things will change as I continue to watch the series or else it’s going to be long couple of seasons.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.16 “Return To The Cotton Club/No Friends Like Old Friends”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, we’re traveling in time!

Episode 6.16 “Return to the Cotton Club/No Friends Like Old Friends”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on February 26th, 1983)

Aspiring singer Charlie Whelan (Lou Rawls) wants to go back to a time where all that mattered was talent.  As he tells Roarke and Tattoo, it’s all about image and connections now.  Charlie wants to go back to the Cotton Club, the famous New York club where blacks were allowed to perform on stage while gangsters sat in the audience.  Roarke sends Charlie back in time and soon, Charlie is at the Cotton Club.  He meets Dutch Schultz (J.D. Cannon).  He befriends the club’s manager, Gus Kelly (Yaphet Kotto).  He falls for another singer, Linda (Berlinda Tolbert).

The first thing I noticed about this fantasy is that The Cotton Club looked really cheap.  It looked like an old VIP lounge in an airport.  It was kind of tacky.  The other thing I noticed is that the fantasy wasn’t historically accurate.  The Cotton Club was not owned by Dutch Schultz.  In fact, Schultz had little to do with The Cotton Club.  The gangster who owned the Cotton Club was Owney Madden, an Irish gangster who eventually left New York City for Hot Springs, Arkansas.  In the show’s defense, the man who Charlie knew as Dutch Schultz was eventually revealed to be another guest who was having a fantasy of his own.  I’ve always had mixed feelings about Roarke’s habit of combining fantasies.  I feel like a guest should only have to pay half-price if their fantasy is going to mixed up with somebody else’s.

As for this fantasy, it was okay.  Lou Rawls certainly gave a better performance here than he ever did on Baywatch Nights.  And Yaphet Kotto was a charming as ever, even if his role was, again, not historically accurate.  (The Cotton Club may have hired black performers but otherwise, it was heavily segregated.)  I like almost anything involving 1930s gangsters.  I can’t help it.  They had style.

As for the other fantasy, Doreen Murphy (Markie Post) wants to have a reunion with her friends from college.  Doreen asks Roarke to make her rich and beautiful so that she can shame all of the people who never believed in her.  Roarke gives her a magic necklace that changes her from being a brunette to being a blonde.  That’s all it takes!  One of Doreen’s friends is Liz (Cybill Shepherd).  Liz is married to the unfaithful Al (Lyle Waggoner), who takes an interest in Doreen.  Doreen learns a lesson about true beauty being more than just an appearance.  She also learns that people don’t dislike her as much as they dislike her bitter attitude.  Doreen gives the necklace to Liz so that Liz can get her cheating husband back.  Good, I guess.

This was an uneven trip to the Island.  Neither story was particularly compelling.  The Cotton Club fantasy at least had Yaphet Kotto.  Otherwise, this was a forgettable trip.  The writers really didn’t even seem to be trying to come up with anything unexpected or surprising.  At least the Island continues to look lovely.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.19 “Off Road”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch and Jon go to the desert!

Episode 3.19 “Off Road”

(Dir by Paul Nuckles, originally aired on February 2nd, 1980)

Though off-duty, Jon and Ponch continue to hang out together.  This weekend, they’re taking part in an off-road race at an old military bombing range in the desert.  They’re going to have look out for unexploded shells as they drive through the desert and try to make it to the finish line.  Since they’re cops, they will also have to deal with two crooks (Ramon Bieri and Michael Baselon) who are using the race as a cover to track down some stolen gold that they hid in the area.  Another racer (played by Edd Byrnes) also knows about the gold and he’s determined to get it as well.  And, of course, Ponch falls for two female racers who also end up getting involved in the search for the gold.

This is one of those episodes of CHiPs where Ponch and Jon show off the California lifestyle.  Whether it’s hang-gliding or sailing or offroad racing or handball, you can be sure that Ponch and Jon will try it at least once.  This episode is a bit of a throwback to the first season, in that Jon is the one who knows about off-road racing while Ponch is the one who learns what it’s all about.  Jon gets to be a mentor again, explaining the rules of the race while Ponch flashes his smile and leers at every woman who happens to walk by.

This episode actually spent more time with the people looking for the gold than it did with Ponch and Jon.  And I guess that’s okay because this is also one of those episodes where you can tell just how much Larry Wilcox and Erik Estrada disliked being in the same scene together.  Playing co-workers and close personal friends, Wilcox and Estrada have all the chemistry of two high school rivals forced to sit next to each other in summer school.  Wilcox barely looks at Estrada while talking to him.  Estrada continually flashes the Estrada smile in their scenes together, silently daring Wilcox to try and steal back the scene.  I was actually worried that Baker might end up abandoning Ponch in the desert but, fortunately, he didn’t and their adventures can continue.

Anyway, if you’re a car chase person, this was a fun episode.  If you’re watching for the stunts, this episode had quite a few.  The storyline was needlessly convoluted but the vehicles looked good and that’s what CHiPs is all about.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.3 “Death and the Lady”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, the Vice Squad investigates the “other Hollywood” and some notable guest stars pop up.

Episode 4.3 “Death and the Lady”

(Dir by Colin Bucksey, originally aired on October 16th, 1987)

Painter-turned-filmmaker Milton Glantz (Paul Guilfoyle) is very proud to have received an Erotic Film Award for his latest movie, Death and the Lady.  However, when Glantz receives his award, a man named Tulane Knox (Michael David Morrison) shouts that the violent murder that ends the film was real and that Glantz is a killer.

Knox is taken into custody by Gina and Trudy.  Crockett doesn’t believe a word that Knox is saying.  He’s convinced that it’s all just a publicity stunt to get people interested in the film.  Crockett doesn’t have much use for all that art film mumbo jumbo.  He lives on a boat with a crocodile named Elvis, after all.  Actually, it’s been a while since we’ve seen Elvis.  I hope he’s okay.

Still, Crockett investigates.  He and Tubbs discover that the actress from the film — Lori Swann (Kelly Lynch) — is still alive and working in the movies.  However, he also discovers that Lori and Glantz made another film, called Twins.  That film featured Lori and a woman named Amy Ryder, who looked just like her.  A conversation with Amy’s sister (Penelope Ann Miller) reveals that Amy hasn’t been seen for a while.  Plus, Amy has terminal cancer….

Especially when compared to the previous two episodes, this episode felt more like classic Miami Vice, dark, moody, and fatalistic.  It doesn’t take long for both the audience and Crockett to realize that Glantz murdered Amy for his film.  (Amy’s dead eyes appear in Glantz’s film.)  But the problem is that there’s no way for Crockett to prove it.  The District Attorney (Miguel Ferrer, making an early appearance) refuses to bring charges without hard evidence.  When Glantz taunts Crockett with the fact that he committed the perfect murder, Crockett snaps.  He beats up Glantz but he doesn’t kill him.  Crockett hasn’t crossed that line but, watching this episode, you get the feeling that it’s only a matter of time.  But it doesn’t matter how many times Crockett throws a punch, Milton Glantz gets away with murder.

This was the Miami Vice of old, depressing, distressing, and very, very stylish.

(Plus, there’s a kitty in this episode!  He is discovered in a cocaine dealer’s home and he’s given to Gina as a present.  Even Castillo smiles when looks at the kitty.  Awwww!)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi High 2.3 “Loyalties”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi

In yourself, you must believe….

Episode 2.3 “Loyalties”

(Dir by John Bertram, originally aired on November 19th, 1990)

Oh look, more Caitlin drama.

Seriously, if I was a student at Degrassi High, I would warn any new enrollees about becoming friends with Caitlin.  Caitlin may be nice and she may be sincere in her desire to be friendly with the new students but, ultimately, everything with Caitlin is a drama and being her friend means being a part of the drama, whether you want to be or not.  Last season, Caitlin had to go to court after he got caught vandalizing the nuclear plant and she immediately expected all of her friends to skip school and go with her.  This episode, Caitlin spots her father having a romantic lunch with someone who is not Caitlin’s mother and, of course, Caitlin’s friends are expected to forget about the own problems so they can listen to her obsess about it.  And while Caitlin did not tell her mom, she did suggest that her dad take her mom to the restaurant where she previously spotted him.

Caitlin wasn’t the only person with drama this week.  Michelle is struggling to deal with having gotten dumped by BLT.  When she discovers that Alexa and Simon are still hanging out with BLT and his new girlfriend, Cindy, she’s not happy.  Alexa and Simon, meanwhile, are tired of Michelle being such a downer.  And while I had sympathy for Michelle, I also had sympathy for Alexa.  It’s not easy when your friends break up and you find yourself expected to pick a side.  Snake has a crush on Michelle and they go out on a date but Michelle starts crying ten minutes in.  Later, Michelle apologize to Snake and says she’s not ready to date.  Snake, being the perfect guy despite (or maybe because of) his nickname, is totally understanding and says he’ll wait until she’s ready.

Awwwwww!

Compared to last week’s episode, Loyalties was not quite as memorable.  No one discovered they were HIV+.  Still, it was a nicely done episode and I appreciated the effort to try to realistically deal with Michelle’s feelings.  I’m not looking forward to the inevitable episode in which Caitlin confronts her father but I know it’ll happen.  That’s Degrassi!

 

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 3.10 “Every Mother’s Son”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, life and death both continue in Baltimore.

Episode 3.10 “Every Mother’s Son”

(Dir by Kenneth Fink, originally aired on January 6th, 1995)

Let’s get the least important part of this week’s episode out of the way first.  Felton is still looking for his wife and kids.  He abandons Kay while she’s in the middle of a homicide investigation.  When Kay calls him out on it, Felton brings up the fact that she went on vacation for a weekend.  The difference is that Felton isn’t taking vacation days.  Instead, he’s just leaving in the middle of work and expecting Kay to handle all of his cases.

BEAU FELTON — WORST HOMICIDE DETECTIVE EVER!

Meanwhile, Lewis and Munch discover that their bar is a historical landmark because George Washington once stopped there to use the restroom.  The bar stuff, while not really related to the episode’s main drama, didn’t feel as unnecessary as the stuff with Felton’s family.  A lot of that is because Lewis, Munch, and Bayliss are a lot more sympathetic than Felton.  This week’s scenes with Howie Mandel as an interior decorator felt a bit off for an episode of Homicide but they still amused me.  That said, at some point, these three really are going to have to get it together and open the place.

As for the main storyline, it featured Pembleton and Bayliss investigating the shooting of a 13 year-old in a bowling alley.  It’s a familiar story, one that this show has used before.  The fact that we’ve seen it before is not a reflection on the show.  It’s reflection of the reality of life on the streets.  The murderer was another kid, one who was now facing life in prison if he ended up getting charged as an adult.  The murderer showed little remorse, telling Pembleton that he would rather be in jail than the on the streets.  What made this episode stand out was a scene between two mothers — one the mother of the victim and the other the mother of the shooter — meeting by chance in  a police station and striking up a conversation despite not knowing who the other was.  Gay Thomas Wilson and Rhonda Stubbins White both gave excellent and poignant performances of two women who, by the end of the show, would have both ended up losing their oldest son.

This was a simple but effective episode, a moody look at the ironies of death and violence in Baltimore.  George Washington once stopped by the Waterfront Bar but that doesn’t mean anything to the people who are dying and suffering in the city.  In the end, Pembleton could only look on in silene as the shooter announced that he was happy to be in jail.  “You’re probably going to die in a cell just like this,” Pembleton says.

“Better here than on the streets,” is the reply.

And nothing more is left to be said.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 3.15 “Make Room For Daddy Christian”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!

This week, Jack Christian gets an episode of his very own.

Episode 3.15 “Make Room For Daddy Christian”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on December 27th, 1987)

In the role of the obnoxious assistant manager Jack Christian, Jeff Pustil was often one of the funniest people on Check It Out!  His comedic timing was always spot-on and he delivered his lines with just the right amount of attitude that they always made me smile even if the jokes themselves weren’t always brilliant.  This week, we get a rare episode that not only focuses on Christian but which also portrays him as being a somewhat decent human being.

Christian goes out with Barbara (Ann Turnbull), a friend of Marlene’s.  One thing leads to another and, the next thing you know, Christian is meeting Barbara’s ten year-old son while lying in bed in with her.  Christian, who had no idea that Barbara had a son, freaks out, makes some hurried excuses, and then leaves.  But later, he returns and apologizes and he and Barbara decide to continue seeing each other.  Neither one is ready to make a firm commitment but they both want to see where things go.  What a surprisingly mature attitude for a show that has shaken the Enda-is-miserable-with-Howard tree more times than I can count.

This was a pretty simple episode but it was a good one and I’m glad that, even if it was during the show’s final season, the show finally did a story that was centered on Christian but which didn’t feature him trying to cheat his friends or get someone fired.  This episode stayed true to Christian’s character — he does act like a jerk when he finds out that Barbara has a son — while also giving him something that he didn’t often get, a chance at redemption.  Jeff Pustil, Kathleen Laskey, and Don Adams were the only three regulars to appear in this episode and all three of them did a good job, especially Pustil.  (For his part, Adams was stuck with a pretty silly B-plot in which he tried to hire an animal performer to come to the store.)

This episode was simple but good.  Check It Out! really was a much show during its third season than during the previous two.

Retro Television Review: 3 By Cheever 1.2 “O Youth And Beauty!” (dir by Jeff Bleckner)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing 3 By Cheever, which ran on PBS in 1979.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime and found on YouTube.

Episode 1.2 “O Youth and Beauty!”

(Dir by Jeff Bleckner, originally aired on October 31st, 1979)

Back in the day, Cash Bentley (Michael Murphy) was an athletic marvel.  He was a track star who could jump the hurdles with ease and who everyone in high school looked up to.  Now, however, he’s 40 years old and he feels lost.  He’s aging and a new generation of young people have come along.  They certainly have no idea who Cash Bentley used to be.

At drunken neighborhood parties, Cash insists on recreating his youth by having his hosts set up their furniture like an obstacle course.  Giving them a starter’s pistol that he insists be fired to signify the start of the race, Cash will run through the house, jumping over chairs and couches and tables while everyone cheers.  Unfortunately, Cash’s luck runs out and he ends up breaking his leg during one of his demonstrations.

Forced to get around on crutches, Cash feels isolated from the rest of the world.  He doesn’t get a promotion because his bosses say they need someone who can start traveling immediately.  When all of his neighbors get on the train that is heading into the city at the usual morning time, a hobbled Cash arrives late and is forced to wait alone for the next one.  His wife, Louise (Kathryn Walker), gets a job working at a boutique to help pay the bills.  She says that maybe she’ll make enough that they’ll be able to take a vacation.  At the neighborhood parties, no one wants to deal with Cash and his broken leg.  His athleticism was all he had left.  It was what he was known for.  It was the source of all his confidence.  Now that he doesn’t have that, he’s lost.

Eventually, his legs comes out of the cast and he insists that Louise set up all the furniture in the house so that he can run another obstacle race.  He gives Louise the starter’s pistol and insists that she fire it when it’s time for him to start.  The scene cuts to the outside of their suburban home.  The sound of one gunshot upsets the calm.  Later, Louise and her children are seen moving out of the house.  Cash is nowhere to be seen.

The episode ends ambiguously.  Those who are familiar with the original John Cheever short story know that Louise shot Cash and that no one was sure whether she meant to do it or not.  The movie cuts away before the gun is actually fired.  For all we know, Cash did the obstacle course and then just never returned home.

O Youth and Beauty is one of John Cheever’s most acclaimed short stories.  The screen adaptation features an excellent performance from Kathryn Walker but the scenes of Cash running the furniture obstacle course are probably something that worked better on the page and in the reader’s imagination than when actually presented on film.  Michael Murphy is almost too confident and handsome as Cash.  The role calls for a former jock slowly going to seed and desperately trying to hold onto his youth whereas Murphy looks like he’s still in peak athletic form.  Murphy does a good job portraying Cash’s depression and his alienation after he breaks his leg but, physically, he still seems miscast in the role.

Edward Herrmann and Sigourney Weaver, who were the center of last week’s episode, make a brief appearance in this one, hovering in the background of the neighborhood’s endless parties.

Next week, we finish up 3 By Cheever.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 3.11 “Year of the Monkey”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!

This week, Friday the 13th features an international adventure!

Episode 3.11 “Year of the Monkey”

(Dir by Rodney Charters, originally aired on January 15th, 1990)

Mushashi (John Fujioka) is a modern-day samurai who owns a cursed tea kettle.  When Jack, Micki, and Johnny come by his dojo in search of the kettle, Mushashi says that he will give it to them if they can prove that they are “honorable” by retrieving three cursed monkey statues that are currently in the possession an elderly businessman named Tanaka (Robert Ito).

Tanaka, however, has given the three wise monkey statues (“See No Evil,” “Hear No Evil,” and “Speak No Evil”) to his three children, Michiko (Tia Carrere), Koji (Leonard Chow), and Hitoshi (Von Flores).  Tanaka explains that each statue will challenge it’s owner.  Those who react in an honorable way will inherit Tanaka’s fortune.  Those who are dishonorable will get nothing.

Jack, Micki, and Johnny split up to retrieve the monkeys.  Johnny goes to New Yok to get Hear No Evil from Hitoshi.  Micki goes to Hong Kong to retrieve See No Evil from Koji.  Jack gets to stay in Canada (or Chicago or wherever this show is supposed to be taking place) so that he can retrieve Speak No Evil from Michiko.  What they don’t know is that Tanaka is several hundred years old.  Every time one of his children fails a monkey test, Tanaka gets a little bit younger.

It’s all about honor and dishonor and the code of the samurai in this week’s episode.  To be honest, it’s a bit of a mess.  First off, the title refers to the Chinese Zodiac but, other than our three regulars, all of the characters are meant to be Japanese.  Secondly, it’s never really clear how the cursed monkeys decide what is honorable and what is dishonorable.  Hitoshi uses his monkey to hear the thoughts of those around him and to take advantage of them.  That’s definitely dishonorable.  But then Koji is declared to be dishonorable even though his monkey did something on its own, without Koji telling it to.  Michiko refuses to use her monkey to her own advantage and is judged to be honorable.  She is told that it is now her duty to kill her father but instead, she commits suicide because killing her father would be dishonorable.  Then, Tanaka is eventually judged to be dishonorable because he stabs Musashi while Mushasi is not holding a weapon but that’s just because Mushashi dropped his sword at the very least minute.  It seems like Mushashi should be the dishonarable one for going out of his way to trick Tanaka.

My point is that this was a confusing episode.  The monkey were actually kind of cute but their powers made no sense.  I’m also not sure why experienced world traveler Jack decided to send Micki to Hong Kong instead of going himself.  In the end, this episode was pretty silly, despite the cool monkeys and the samurai-themed finale.