Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.9 “A Novel Idea”

Posted on February 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Mr. Woodman writes a book!

Episode 3.9 “A Novel Idea”

(Dir by Nick Havinga, originally aired on October 20th, 1977)

When his father has an attack of appendicitis, Gabe rushes to upstate New York to be with his mother. That’s right. Other than a brief appearance at the start and the end of this episode, Gabe Kotter is absent from this edition of Welcome Back, Kotter.

With Gabe gone, it falls to Julie to deal with the lates dispute between the Sweathogs and Mr. Woodman. Mr. Woodman has written a book, a Civil War romance called Swamp Rats Of Savannah. The book’s hero is Beauregard Ravenna, the “sliver fox” who is the headmaster of the Applegate School in Georgia. Ravenna is a dedicated educator but he has to deal with four unruly students, the Swamp Rats. Kloberino, Warpstein, Thorshack, and Baltimore are not only terrible students but they are also responsible for the start of the Civil War when they launch an attack on Ft. Sumter. Ravenna must defeat them while also dealing with a deserter-turned-teacher named Gaylord Teesdale and his love-starved wife, Julie Luh.

When the Sweathogs get their hands on a copy of the manuscript, they are so offended that they write a science fiction epic called Space Hogs of Buchania, in which the heroic Space Hogs battle a tyrant known as Demento. Woodman is as offended by their novel as they were by his. Finally, at a summit held at the Kotter apartment and with Julie overseeing, Woodman and the Sweathogs agree to tone down their depictions of each other.

I was looking forward to this episode because the idea of Mr. Woodman writing a novel about the Sweathogs seemed like a promising concept. Mr, Woodman has always been the most consistently funny character on the show and John Sylvester White’s wonderfully unhinged performance has always been a highlight of Welcome back, Kotter. And indeed, there are some funny moments in this episode and John Sylvester White is responsible for almost all of them. That said, the overall episode just fell flat. The absence of Gabe Kaplan is really felt, if just because it requires Julie to suddenly go from being annoyed with the Sweathogs to instead being their enthusiastic ally. It doesn’t feel right for Julie’s character and Marcia Strassman doesn’t seem to be totally comfortable with stepping into the role that was typically played by Gabae Kaplan. I kept waiting for Julie to kick everyone out of the apartment. Instead, she read everyone’s books. That’s not the Julie we know! As well, I was really hoping the show would go into even more detail about what was in each book, perhaps even visualizing a few of the scenes. Instead, it was just a collection of scenes of people looking at pages and then saying, “Look what he wrote here!” For an idea that has so much potential, the execution was a bit lacking.

As with so many of Welcome Back, Kotter‘s later episodes, this one that you watch and try not to think about how much better it all would have been handled during the first season.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th 1.17 “The Electrocutioner”

Posted on February 9, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

There’s nothing scarier than going to the dentist! Especially when he has a cursed electric chair!

(As a sidenote, I was planning on reviewing this last week but I was not feeling well so I held off until this week. I apologize for the delay in the writing and posting this review! These things do happen and I’ve recently been told that I need to start getting more rest and looking after my health so it may happen more than once.)

Episode 1.17 “The Electrocutioner”

(Dir by Rob Hedden, originally aired on April 18th, 1988)

In 1978, Eli Pittman (Angelo Rizacos) was sitting on death row, an innocent man who had been wrongly convicted of murder. Sentenced to die in the electric chair, Eli’s cries of innocence fell on deaf ears. The warden of the prison didn’t care. The judge didn’t care. The prosecuting attorney didn’t care. Miraculously, Eli survived the first attempt to electrocute him. And, fortunately, his death sentence was overturned before he could be shocked a second time.

Ten years later, Eli is working as a dentist at a school for runaways. Though he presents himself as being a charitable doctor who just wants to help the less fortunate, Eli is actually a deeply bitter man. He wants revenge on everyone who sent him to prison. Eli has purchased the electric chair in which he was meant to die. He’s disguised it as a dentist chair. When his teenage patients sit in the chair, they are reduced to ash. Eli is then able to generate electricity through his body. He uses this power to get his revenge.

Can Ryan, Micki, and Jack stop him?

After a really good opening scene (which is filmed in black-and-white and makes use of a handheld camera to generate a genuinely nightmarish atmosphere), this becomes one of the sillier episodes that I’ve watched so far. Angelo Rizacos is good in the flashback scenes and he makes you feel a good deal of sympathy for Eli. But, in the modern day scenes, he overacts to an extent that Eli goes from being a victimized man driven by revenge to a rather broadly-drawn supervillain. He’s like a character from a B-comic book movie, the sort of villain that would expect Venom or Morbius to battle in a pre-credits sequence.

Add to that …. an antique electric chair? This show is at its best when the antiques are stuff that you could imagine actually stumbling across in an antique store. The idea of that big, bulky chair being in the store (and subsequently being disguised as a dentist chair) was just silly.

But you know what? Friday the 13th is a fun show, even when it’s silly. Chris Wiggins, John D. LeMay, and Robey made for a good team of investigators and, if nothing else, it was fun watching them interact in this episode. This was a silly episode but at least it was silly in an entertaining way.

Retro Television Review: T and T 2.16 “Substitute Teacher”

Posted on February 9, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, T.S. Turner has a lesson to teach.

Episode 2.16 “Substitute Teacher”

(Dir by Patrick Loubert, originally aired on February 27th, 1989)

When the regular teacher of a middle school social studies class is taken ill, T.S. Turner is sent to fill in. Uhmm, okay….

There some dialogue as the start of the episode that suggests that Amy is responsible for Turner getting the job but I’m not sure why Amy would have that power. As well, Amy drops Turner off at the school. That may not seem like much but there’s a surprise twist at the end of this episode that makes you question a lot of what you previously assumed about Amy.

As for the show itself, it’s a clip show. Turner’s class wants to hear about his exploits so Turner says something like, “You got to be able to depend on your friends,” and then we get a brief montage of Turner talking to various friends (the majority of whom vanished after one episode). Turner says that violence should only be a last resort. Turner also raps about halfway through his lesson and it goes on for a while.

While this is going on, another teacher (Steve Brinder) keeps showing up and claiming that he’s supposed to be the substitute. Turner finally gets tired of him, especially after the teacher takes a swing at him. But then Decker shows up and announces that — whoops! — Turner’s at the wrong school.

Did Amy take him to the wrong school? What the Hell!?

Episodes like this make my job easy because there’s nothing to say about them. It’s a clip show and the final message appears to be that Amy is really incompetent. Duncan Waugh of Degrassi Junior High fame plays one of Turner’s students. One thing about binging Degrassi, T and T, Friday the 13th, and Check It Out! all at the same time is that you see a lot of familiar faces popping up from show-to-show.

Anyway, this was a clip show. Look at all the clips. Hopefully, next week will not be a clip show.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Highway to Heaven 1.20 “The Banker and the Bum”

Posted on February 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Ned Beatty is not one but two characters!

Episode 1.20 “The Banker and the Bum”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on February 27th, 1985)

Wally the Waver (Ned Beatty) is an eccentric but beloved homeless man who usually spends his time sitting in and sleeping in a park. He smiles and waves at passing people and sometimes, he’ll get a newspaper out of the trash and read up on the upcoming mayoral election. What Wally does not know is that he only has 24 hours to live and that Jonathan and Mark have been sent to grant him his last wish.

Wally’s wish is that local businessman and politician J. Melvin Rich (also played by Ned Beatty) could discover what it’s like to struggle from day-to-day. Melvin is running for mayor and a huge part of his platform calls for bulldozing the park and turning the land over to developers. Jonathan grants his wish. Suddenly, Melvin is in Wally’s body and Wally is in Melvin’s body. While Melvin learns what its like to not have a place to sleep or a guaranteed nightly meal, Wally makes it a point to be kind to Melvin’s servants and his wife (Eve Roberts). Wally also attends a mayoral debate (as Melvin) and announces that everyone should vote for Melvin’s opponent.

Melvin, needless to say, is not happy about any of this but his experiences getting kicked out of various establishments and being told that there’s no room for him at the shelter leads to Melvin starting to sympathize a bit with the plight with the underprivileged. Then, as night falls, he once again switches bodies with Wally. Now in his right body, Melvin discovers that he’s now considered to be a hero for endorsing his opponent and his previously estranged wife loves him again. Wally, meanwhile, dies peacefully in the park, secure in the knowledge that he has saved it from being destroyed. A jump forward reveals that Melvin goes on to become a beloved philanthropist who protects the park that Wally called home.

If this episode proves anything, it’s that Ned Beatty was a national treasure. The story is heavy-handed and a lot of the humor is a bit too cartoonish for its own good. Naming the greedy businessman J. Melvin Rich is a choice that is a bit too cutesy to really work. Actually, Wally the Waver is concept that is almost too cutesy to work. But Beatty makes both characters work, playing up Wally’s gentle eccentricity and Melvin’s genuine happiness at discovering that he’s suddenly a well-liked man. This is an episode that would have been way too silly if not for Ned Beatty’s presence keeping things grounded. Just as Melvin saves the park, Beatty saves the story.

Retro Television Review: Dr. Paradise 1.1 “The Pilot”

Posted on February 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Dr. Paradise, which aired on CBS in 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Frank Langella sets himself up as the ruler of a tropical island!

Episode 1.1 “The Pilot”

(Dir by Peter Baldwin, originally aired on July 12th, 1988)

Who is Dr. Paradise?

Why, he’s Frank Langella!

Langella plays Dr. Paradise, a haughty and sarcastic man who owns a health clinic that is located on a small tropical island. Dr. Paradise also owns the local casino so visitors at the island will often lose all of their money at night and then come to the clinic during the day. As this episode is only 22 minutes long and there’s a whole host of other characters to introduce, we don’t learn as much about Dr. Paradise as we might want to. We know that he’s rich. We know that doors magically swoosh open whenever he approaches. During the opening credits, we watch the staff throw darts at his portrait, just for Dr. Paradise to reveal that he always has an extra portrait with him. He’s arrogant and egocentric and I get the feeling that we’re supposed to dislike his lavish lifestyle but he’s Frank Langella so it feels churlish to take away his joy.

As for the rest of the staff at the hospital …. well, none of them are as interesting as Dr. Paradise and I found myself resenting them for that fact.

Dr. Noah Fredericks (Xander Berkeley) is the psychiatrist who is clearly meant to be a stoner, even if the show couldn’t actually come right out and say it. But with his deadpan way of speaking and his red eyes, there’s not much doubt that Dr. Fredericks was high for the entire episode. I don’t blame him.

Dr. Philip Moore (Hiram Kasten) is desperately looking for someone to play golf with him.

Dr. Amy Hunter (Sally Kellerman) is the ethical doctor who disagrees with Dr. Paradise’s methods but who seems to secretly kind of like him as well.

Dr. Casey Hunter (Tommy Hinkley) is Amy’s whiney son who appears to have a gambling problem. At one point, it is mentioned that he dropped out of a top medical school so that he could become a chiropractor. As someone who has recently had to deal with neck and back pain, I support his choice.

Hilary (Beverly Brown) is a native of the island and works as the office manager. She has no personality beyond saying, “Dr. Paradise” in an exaggerated island accent.

The pilot centers around the character of Newton Hobbs (played by future Congressional candidate Barry Gordon), a wealthy but neurotic man who spends a lot of money at Dr. Paradise’s casino. Newton comes to the clinic for his weekly session with Dr. Fredericks but, when Dr. Paradise insults him, Newton snaps and draws a gun. He holds everyone hostage for a few minutes, until another patient has a heart attack from the stress. Dr. Paradise saves the man from dying, establishing that he’s a jerk who is good at his job. As for Newton …. NOTHING HAPPENS TO HIM! It turns out that it was all apart of his therapy plan with Dr. Fredericks and the gun was not even loaded.

Hey, that’s all good and well. WHAT IF THE MAN WHO HAD A HEART ATTACK DIED, YOU IDIOTS!?

Meanwhile, Casey’s parrot talks to a cat while Casey’s at the office. That should have been cute but …. eh.

Only one episode of Dr. Paradise aired. This pilot did not become a series and it’s easy to see why. For all the talent — Sally Kellerman, Barry Gordon, Xander Berkeley, the great Frank Langella — the dialogue isn’t funny and the situations aren’t that interesting. It’s a shame because Frank Langella’s performance indicates that he could have been an enjoyably over-the-top sitcom actor. But even the best actors need a decent script.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 1.19 “Rain Dance”

Posted on February 7, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire show is streaming on Tubi.

This week, a rather predictable story is saved and elevated by one truly impressive monster!

Episode 1.19 “Rain Dance”

(Dir by Richard Friedman, originally aired on April 22nd, 1989)

Tonight’s episode of Monsters deals with a couple living in a shack in the middle of the desert. Tom Solo (Kent McCord) is a self-styled treasure hunter who thinks that he can get rich by swindling the indigenous people out of their valuable artifacts. His wife, Vanessa (Teri Copley), is sick of living in the desert and just wants to return to civilization. Vanessa is extremely vain. Tom is extremely smug. It’s easy to imagine how they got together but it’s bit more difficult to understand why they’re still together.

When an angry old woman (Betty Carvalho) shows up at the shack, she spends a few minutes yelling at Tom for trying to take advantage of her people and then complains about the drought that is destroying their land. She says that her people found and tamed the land and that some day, the land will again belong to them. She also gives Tom an artifact, a statue of what Tom assumes he’ll be able to get a few bucks for. Myself, I would probably turn down the statue because it is seriously creepy.

Yikes!

Of course, it turns out that Tom is wrong about having any chance of making money of the statue. The statue is a rain idol, one that comes to life in the middle of the night to stalk both Tom and his wife. When confronted by the statue, both Vanessa and Tom are transformed into statues that crumble into dust. The next morning, the old woman comes by to retrieve her idol and happily says that the rains will now come to wash away the dusty particles that were once the Solos.

Again, yikes!

Seriously, this was not a particularly complicated episode of Monsters. From the start, it was obvious that Tom and Vanessa were going to pay for their exploitation of the natives and it was also obvious that, since neither one of them had any redeeming qualities, neither would survive the night. And, as soon as the old woman showed up with that statue, it was pretty obvious what the instrument of their doom would be. Vanessa was established early on as being obsessed with keeping her skin from drying out in the desert heat so I wasn’t surprised when she eventually started turning into sand.

It wasn’t surprising but it still worked because the monster was scary!

Seriously!

The end result was an effective morality take about the perils of greed and assuming you’re more clever than you actually are. In many ways, this could have been a particularly macabre episode of The Twilight Zone or Night Gallery. Monsters is at its best when it offers a scary monster and a dark ending and this episode certainly did that.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.1 “Sergeant Bull/Friends and Lovers/Miss Mother”

Posted on February 7, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, come aboard for season 4!

Episode 4.1 “Sergeant Bull/Friends and Lovers/Miss Mother”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on October 25th, 1980)

Well, it’s time for the fourth season of The Love Boat and let’s see who is going to be taking a cruise this week….

Hey, we know that guy!

Yes, it’s a young Tom Hanks, making one of his first television appearances on The Love Boat. Tom had a sitcom coming out so ABC decided to promote the then-unknown actor by giving him a guest role on one of their most popular series.

Who does Tom play? He plays a complete a total douchebag named Rick Martin, a former fraternity brother of Gopher’s who enjoys giving Gopher a hard time about his reputation for being “Strike-Out Smith.” Rick makes Gopher feel so uncomfortable that Gopher impulsively claims that Julie is his girlfriend. Julie plays along with Gopher. This not only leads to sleazy Rick trying to steal Julie away from Gopher but it also causes Julie and Gopher to have real feelings for each other.

Yes, it is interesting to watch Tom Hanks play a sleaze but what is even more interesting, for longtime watchers of the show, is that Julie and Gopher make a surprisingly credible couple. They actually do have a very likable chemistry together and it never seems improbable that they might end up together. Of course, in the end, they decide to just stay friends because anything else would have upset the balance of the show.

Tom’s presence overshadows the rest of the show but there are two other stories to deal with. Vic Tayback plays a former dill sergeant who reunites with his former recruits (Nipsey Russell, Harvey Lembeck, and Jack Somack) and who turns out to still be such a hardass that they bribe their cabin stewardess (Doris Roberts) to pursue a romance with him. Of course, the two of them fall in love for real. This was all a bit silly and Tayback’s drill sergeant was a bit annoying but it was nice to see him drop his guard around Doris Roberts and admit that he was only acting like a drill sergeant because that was all he had ever been.

Finally, Gwen Hutchins (Shelley Smith) boards the boat and tells Doc Bricker that she is two-months pregnant.

“Your husband must be very proud!” Doc replies, without missing a beat.

No, Gwen explains, she’s not married. Once again, we are reminded that Doc is a walking HR nightmare.

Anyway, Gwen falls for a guy named Dennis (Dennis Cole) but she worries how Dennis will react to learning that she’s pregnant. At first, Dennis does not react well, even asking her if she considered getting an abortion. (She explains that she doesn’t support abortion, which definitely would not fly if this episode were made today.) It all works out in the end but, seriously, I think she deserves better than Dennis. Dennis Cole is an actor who I have seen in quite a few of these shows and he always seem kind of lost. That was certainly the vibe that he gave off here.

This was an entertaining-enough episode, though almost all of the credit for that goes to the presence of Tom Hanks and the likable chemistry between Fred Grandy and Lauren Tewes. It was definitely a good way to start off the fourth season.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 1.13 “Payback”

Posted on February 6, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!

This week …. eh, I don’t know. This is a messy episode. Geraldo Rivera is in it for some reason.

Episode 1.13 “Payback”

(Dir by Reza Badiyi, originally aired on February 17th, 1996)

This episode was a mess. It’s hard to know where to even start.

In a reminder that Baywatch Nights, during the second half of its first season, was trying to be more like the show it was spun off from, this episode begins with an extended sequence featuring a woman in a yellow bikini. She swims. She walks along the beach. She washes the sand out of her hair in one of those beach showers. And then an unseen person shoots her in the neck and the camera lingers on her body for an uncomfortable amount of time. The mix of sex and violence doesn’t feel particularly appropriate for a show that, at its best, is essentially just a goofy detective show.

After this opening, we are presented with Ryan and Mitch at some sort of party. Ryan has just come back from Catalina and, just as I would do, she took some Dramamine so she wouldn’t get car sick. Unfortunately, she has a little bit too much champagne at the party and is soon in a daze. Mitch takes her back to his place where Ryan demands to know why he’s never tried to “jump all over” her. Ryan then strips down to her underwear and ends up in Mitch’s bed.

Mitch, it should be said, is a total gentleman and sleeps on the couch. But, the next morning, he decides that it would be fun to keep Ryan in suspense as to whether or not they had sex the night before.

To any men reading: DO NOT DO THIS!

Seriously, this joke is totally out of character for Mitch. For that matter, it’s a bit out of character for Ryan as well. (Everything we’ve learned about Ryan would suggest that she would be smart enough to know better than to mix Dramamine and champagne.) David Hasselhoff and Angie Harmon did have a likable chemistry. It’s a shame that the show tried to rush things with stuff like this instead of letting it develop naturally.

As for the show’s plot, there are actually two cases. The lesser of the two features Garner helping out a young photographer named Griff Walker (Eddie Cibrian). Griff accidentally got a picture of a model’s murder and he’s worried that murderers are after him. Garner confronts the model’s ex and tells him to back off on trying to intimidate Griff. It’s a weird plotline that was obviously only included to introduce the character of Griff. (This is the third episode to feature Cibrian in the opening credits but the first to actually feature his character.)

Meanwhile, a reporter named Albert Romero (Geraldo Rivera …. yes, the one and only) comes to Mitch after some mobsters kidnap his wife, Bobbie (Meilani Paul). Bobbie was previously being used to smuggle drugs. Now, they want to use her to smuggle a bomb. Fortunately, the mobsters are pretty dumb and Mitch is easily able to thwart them. Unfortunately, this storyline features a lot of Geraldo. As anyone who has ever watched him do anything can tell you, Geraldo Rivera is a person who is incapable of sounding natural or sincere. Everything about him is calculated and over-rehearsed and that certainly comes through in his performance here. Only Geraldo Rivera could make overacting boring.

As I said, this was a messy and way too busy episode. It’s also one that nearly sabotaged the most appealing part of the show, Ryan and Mitch’s friendship. I can’t wait until the UFOs and the sea monsters and the Vikings show up during the second season.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 4.12 “The Heroine/The Warrior”

Posted on February 6, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion.

Today, I discovered that the YouTube account that was home to every episode of Fantasy Island has been taken down. This frustrated me. Fantasy Island is no longer on Tubi or Prime. In both cases, the original has been pushed to the side to make room for the reboot. So now, Daily Motion appears to be the only platform to have every episode. Bleh! Daily Motion includes so many commercials that it takes forever to get through one hour-long show.

*Sigh*

That said, I’m dedicated to this show. If I have to watch it on Daily Motion, I’ll shudder and do it.

Episode 4.12 “The Heroine/The Warrior”

(Dir by George McCowan, originally aired on January 24th, 1981)

This week, two more guests come to Fantasy Island with a desire to discover and prove who they really are.

For instance, Bob Graham (James MacArthur, who I just previously saw on The Love Boat) may seem like a rather mild-mannered fellow but he’s actually obsessed with the martial arts and his fantasy is to challenge and defeat the world’s greatest martial artist, Kwong Soo Luke (played by Mako). Bob wants to impress his wife, Linda (Shelley Fabares). Personally, I think it’s kind of sad that Bob thinks that beating someone up is the only way that he can impress his wife, especially since Linda seems to be pretty impressed with her husband already. Mr. Roarke also explains to Bob that Kwong Soo Luke traditionally kills his opponents after he defeats them. Again, you have to wonder why anyone would volunteer to go up against Kwong Soo Luke.

Anyway, this fantasy suffers from the fact that we know, from the start, that there’s no way that Bob is going to die on Fantasy Island. But again, there’s no way that, after all of the build-up, Bob isn’t going to get his fight. As a result, Bob’s survival and his victory are pretty much guaranteed. It brings Bob and Linda closer together but I get the feeling that divorce is still waiting for them in the future. “Remember that time you took me to an island and then spent the whole time fighting some guy I didn’t even know?” Bob better get used to hearing that.

Meanwhile, when Florence Richmond (Mary Ann Mobley) steps off the plane, Tattoo immediately guesses that she must be a teacher. Roarke explains that Florence is actually a writer, one who has had a good deal of success with a series of trashy romance novels. However, the prim and proper Florence feels that she’s never experienced a grand romance of her own so her fantasy is to be the heroine of one of her own books. Roarke grants her fantasy and soon, Florence is falling in love with the enigmatic and possibly duplicitous Brent Hampton (Cesare Danova) and nearly getting raped by the vile Porter Brockhill (Robert Loggia). Florence is shocked to discover that her novels take place in a world where lust is more important than love and true romance does not exist. Suddenly, Florence understands why her latest books were so uninspired and she leaves Fantasy Island determined to write about true romance.

This storyline featured nice performances from Mary Ann Mobley, Cesare Danova, and Robert Loggia. For me, it was mostly interesting as an examination of a fantasy that I’m sure every writer has, the fantasy of living inside of one of their own stories.

Next week …. hopefully, someone will have been kind enough to upload the show back onto YouTube!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.13 “One Two Many”

Posted on February 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Baker has a double!

Episode 1.13 “One Two Many”

(Dir by Paul Krasny, originally aired on January 5th, 1978)

This week’s episode of CHiPs opens with a member of the California Highway Patrol pulling over a woman on the highway. From a distance, he looks a bit like Jon Baker. However, it soon becomes obvious that he’s not Baker when the fake highway patrolman (played by William Whitaker) says something offensive to the woman in the car. We don’t hear what he said but the woman announces that she’s never been spoken to so crudely and drives back into traffic. She also causes a crash as another car swerves to avoid her. Inside the car, a woman is about to give birth. Her husband begs for the fake patrolman’s help. Instead, the suddenly panicked faker drives away.

Fortunately, Baker and Ponch then roll up and they get their day started by helping to deliver a baby. As usual, it’s Baker who actually knows what to do while Ponch stands around and flashes that blinding grin of his.

Back at headquarters, the woman from the car has filed a complaint against the obscene patrolman. When she takes a look at the pictures of all of the patrolman who were on duty at the time, she selects Baker. Knowing that Baker isn’t turned on by anything outside of memories of his life Montana, Sgt. Getraer figures out that there’s a fake cop out there, one who looks just like Jon Baker!

Appropriately enough, Baker and Ponch are the ones who finally arrest him. Actually, they cross paths with the guy several times, suggesting that God himself means for them to meet. At one point, Baker and Ponch see a woman named Jobina (Trish Stewart) who is struggling with the fake cop. They assume that she’s resisting arrest and they grab her. The fake cop runs off while another real cop — this one from the LAPD — shows up and demands to know what’s going on. It’s all a bit messy but let’s give credit where credit is due. William Whitaker is effectively creepy as the fake cop while Trish Stewart gives a strong and emotionally realistic performance as the most prominent of his victims. After everything she’s been through, she doesn’t want to spend time with any cops, whether they’re real or fake. The show seems to understand that she has a point.

While this is going on, Ponch is getting on Baker’s last nerve. Ponch’s RV is being fixed for numerous electronic problems so Ponch moves into Baker’s tastefully decorated apartment. It turns out that Ponch is not easy to live with, as he really likes to listen to music while he’s sleeping. As well, Ponch keeps hitting on all of Baker’s neighbors. In the end, Baker decided to say in Ponch’s damaged RV while Ponch stays in the apartment so let’s just hope the building manager doesn’t find out because next week, both Baker and Ponch might be homeless!

We’ll find out next Monday!