Tag Archives: The Love Boat

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/27/22 — 3/5/22

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yes, I watched a lot this week.  Here’s some thoughts:

Allo Allo (Monday Morning, PBS)

Rene attempted to abandon his wife and his café so that he could elope with Yvette but Michelle had one “last” mission for him.  It involved smuggling the Enigma machine to the British via the sewer system and, needless to say, it involved a lot of digging.  It made me laugh, that’s what is important.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

You can read my thoughts on the finale here!  I wasn’t particularly happy about who won but that’s the way it goes sometimes.

American Idol (Sunday Night, ABC)

I am as stunned as anyone by the fact that American Idol still exists.  I stopped caring about the show a lifetime ago but I still watched the premiere of the latest season on Sunday because I was cleaning around the house and I thought it would make for acceptable background nose.  I love Katy Perry but the rest of the judges are pretty dull.  No one’s willing to be as mean as Simon Cowell was back in the day.  The whole thing is just too damn positive.

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

I haven’t really been keeping up with this season but I did watch Monday’s episode, just to see if the Claytonbot had developed any sort of individual personality over the past few weeks.  He has not but apparently, everyone can still see themselves falling in love with him and spending the rest of their life with him.

Bar Rescue (Friday Morning, Paramount)

It had been a while since I watched Bar Rescue so I watched the Friday morning bloc of reruns.  I guess, due to the fact that I don’t drink, I always find it amusing how worked up everyone on the show gets over the mismanaged bars.  Whenever Taffer starts to yell about a bartender not knowing how to make a certain cocktail, I’m always like, “Well, can’t you just order something else?”

Couples Court With The Cutlers (Sunday Afternoon, OWN TV)

I had forgotten this show existed but when I stumbled across it on Sunday, I have to admit that I immediately got sucked into the case of Bacon vs. Bacon and the question of whether or not Mrs. Bacon was cheating on Mr. Bacon.  They even brought in a cybersecurity expert to go through Mrs. Bacon’s phone and it was discovered that she was using an app to send out secret text messages!  Mrs. Bacon claimed she was talking to other men but not actually cheating with them.  However, “licensed polygraph examiner Kendall Shull,” (as he’s called in every single episode) determined that she was cheating.  Mr. Bacon walked out on her husband while the audience gasped.  Poor Mr. Bacon!  I later looked this episode up on the imdb and I discovered that it was 5 years old so I can only imagine how the Bacons feel whenever they come across it playing on TV.

Court Cam (Wednesday, A&E)

To be honest, I thought this show had been canceled but, on Wednesday, I discovered that it still exists and it’s going strong.  Featuring actual court footage and breathlessly narrated by Dan Abrams, Court Cam is the equivalent of true crime junk food.  I watched about four episodes.  Judges yelled.  Defendants yelled.  The bailiffs were ready to spring into action.  The lawyers were usually smart enough to stay out of the way.

The Dropout (Hulu)

I wrote about the latest Hulu miniseries here!

Full House (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

Uncle Jesse was upset that he wasn’t getting to spend as much time with his cool friends as he wanted to because he was always spending all of his time taking care of Danny’s children.  So, Jesse went skiing with his old friends but they all turned out to be just as dorky as Joey and Danny so I kind of think Jesse was fooling himself as far as the old gang was concerned.  Jesse’s life didn’t get any better in the episode that followed, as he was forced to take a job as an Elvis impersonator to pay the bills.  Poor Jesse!  At least he had adequate hair.

Inventing Anna (Netflix)

I watched episodes 3, 4, and 5 of Inventing Anna early Monday morning.  They didn’t do too much for me, largely because Vivian isn’t a very interesting character and every minute that we have to spend listening to her whine about her career is a minute that we’d rather be spending with Anna and her wealthy friends.  This show makes a lot more sense once you know that the journalist upon whom Vivian Kent is based is also one of the producers.  She made the mistake of thinking she was the star of the story.

King of the Hill (Hulu and FXX)

On Sunday morning, I watched three episodes of King of the Hill on Hulu.  The first featured the possibility of Bobby being a reincarnated holy man.  The second found Peggy getting involved with a pyramid scheme.  (“No, it’s a triangle.”)  And the third featured Hank getting a haircut from Bill and then demanding that the Army charge him for it.  It turns out that it costs $900 for the army to give a man a haircut.

I watched two episodes of FXX on Wednesday.  One episode featured Hank becoming the substitute shop teacher and teaching the kids how to fix things.  Unfortunately, he had the kids bring tools from home and that got him fired.  I love this episode, largely because of the wonderful voice over work of the late Dennis Burkley, who played Principal Moss.  This was followed by Aisle 8A, in which Connie spent a memorable few days with the Hills and Hank had to find the courage to take a trip down Aisle 8A.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

I watched the latest episode of Law & Order to see if McCoy had gotten around to firing his ludicrously idealistic Executive D.A. yet.  He had not.

This week’s episode was based on the relationship of Elizabeth Holmes and Sunny Balwani so it was interesting to watch it after having binged the first three episodes of The Dropout.  It was an okay episode, even if it still sometimes seemed to be trying a bit too hard.  The Law & Order revival needs to calm down a little and give the new characters (and the actors playing them) a chance to define who they are.

I kept hoping the ghost of Adam Schiff would materialize and rasp, “Take the deal….”

Law & Order: SVU (Thursday Night, NBC)

What if Joe Rogan confessed to a decades-old murder!?  Well, I guess you’d have to send someone in undercover to catch him.  This was not one of SVU‘s better episodes.

The Love Boat (Sunday Evening, MeTV)

On Sunday’s cruise, Kim Richards played a 13 year-old who, after putting on a good deal of makeup and taking off her glasses, could pass for a 22 year-old.  Fortunately, Gopher found out the truth about her age before committing a crime.  Meanwhile, Eve Plumb learned to forgive the man who she thought was her father for walking out on the family 20 years earlier.  Yay!  Quite a cruise.

Open All Hours (Monday Morning, PBS)

A woman wished Granville a happy birthday so Arkwright pushed Granville off of a step ladder.  This is something that appeared to happen fairly frequently with Granville.  He was always getting shoved off something.  Poor guy.

Pam and Tommy (Hulu)

I reviewed the latest episode of Pam & Tommy here.  Unfortunately, the character of Rand Gauthier has returned.  I’m glad this show is almost over.

The SAG Awards (Sunday Night, TNT)

I caught the second airing of the awards.  It was nice to see CODA win the award for Best Ensemble.  I loved Marlee Matlin’s speech.

Secrets of Playboy (Monday Night, A&E)

This A&E docuseries is all about exposing Hugh Hefner as being kind of a creep.  The episodes that I saw on Monday certainly accomplished that goal.  It’s kind of amazing that, for years, Hefner was able to get away with presenting himself as being some sort of benevolent father figure when basically, he was just a jerk with a mansion and smoking jacket.

Silk Stalkings (IMDB TV)

On Wednesday, I returned to binging Silk Stalkings.  I started with the 35th episode of the series, which was called Dead Weight and featured Chris and Rita investigating the murder of a businessman who was played by John O’Hurley.  I was pretty sure that I had seen this episode before but no matter.  It was fun and trashy and O’Hurley played his brief role like a soap opera villain come to life.  The 36th episode was called Kid Stuff and it told the story of a 17 year-old prostitute who shot her older lover’s wife.  The older man was a doctor who was played by the great Andrew Stevens.  Even by the standards of Silk Stalkings, this was a sordid episode but that’s one of the fun things about Silk Stalkings.  It may have been shameless but it also clearly wasn’t meant to be taken seriously.  Later, that night, I watched the 37th episode, in which Chris and Rita investigated a shooting that was connected to a couple’s kinky sex game.  That said, Chris was more concerned that Rita might accept a job offer and move to San Diego.  Awwwww!  No need to worry, Chris!  Rita would never leave you!

Thursday, I watched Episode #38.  After a murder turned out to be connected to a shady modeling company (which was actually a front for a trafficking scheme), Chris and Rita went undercover!  Chris pretended to be a mobster!  Rita pretended to be a model!  Any episode in which Chris and Rita go undercover is guaranteed to be a gem, especially if it requires Chris to wear a red suit and talk tough.  This was followed by an episode in which Chris and Rita investigated a death at a birthday party and Rita dealt with some issues from her traumatic childhood.  It was actually a pretty effective episode.  As silly as the mysteries on the show were, both Mitzi Kapture and Rob Estes were good actors who managed to find a sort of emotional reality amongst all the neon and lingerie.

Finally, on Friday, I watched Episode #40, “Soul Kiss.”  Chris and Rita investigated what appeared to be a suicide but what was actually a murder that was connected to a tantric sex seminar.  Rita was intrigued but Chris thought it was silly to suggest that he needed a seminar to learn anything new.  Rob Estes and Mitzi Kapture both kind of laughed their way through this episode.

Snowpiercer (Sunday Night, TNT)

I watched Snowpiercer while waiting for the second showing of the SAG Awards to begin.  Visually, it’s an impressive show and there’s a lot of actors in the cast who I like.  And I also liked the movie upon which the show is based.  That said, I don’t have the slightest idea what was going on in the majority of the episode.

South Park (Wednesday Night, Comedy Central)

This week, South Park not only took on Russian aggression but it also took a look at the way adults specialize in scaring and emotionally traumatizing children “for their own good.”  As usually happens in a time of crisis, South Park was the only show to come across as being the least bit sensible.  The new episode was followed by the “Zipline” episode from 2012.  That episode was only ten years old but seemed to come from a totally different universe.

The State of the Union (Hulu)

I skipped the State of the Union address on Tuesday and I wasn’t planning on watching it at all but then I heard from several people about how weird it was so I decided to give it a watch.  And yes, it was very, very weird.  All of our leaders are very, very weird and there’s no point in pretending otherwise.  What’s the deal with Biden’s creepy whispering thing?  Can no one tell him not to do that?  For that matter, most of the members of Congress appear to be deeply weird as well.  As much as we Americans love watching British and Canadian lawmakers heckle their prime ministers, we’re still not used to the idea of people in Congress doing it to the president.  At times, I felt like I was watching a sci-fi film in which society had moved underground.

My main impression is that this country is led by a group of very old people.  Maybe we should try electing some younger people the next time we have the opportunity.  Just a thought.

Talking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

Just like last week, Talking Dead did not feature a studio audience and, as a result, it fell somewhat flat.

The Walking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

I like the Commonwealth.  Their Halloween looked fun and I don’t really care about the income inequality.  The world’s ending.  Let people enjoy themselves, Carol.  I reviewed the latest episode of The Walking Dead here.

Worst Roommate Ever (Netflix)

Netflx’s latest true crime series tells the story of four terrible roommates.  Three of them turned out to be murderers.  The other one attempted to kill two people that we know about and the fact that both of them survived is something of a miracle.  I binged this frequently fascinating but often disturbing series on Tuesday morning, before Erin and I left to the vote in the Texas primaries.  The fact that this series is only five episodes long and doesn’t resort to dragging out any of the stories that it tells should really serve as a lesson for some other showrunners out there.  That said, I also have to say that the final two episodes, which dealt with the nightmarish crimes of Jamison Branch, left me feeling deeply unsettled and there’s a part of me that wishes that I hadn’t watched them.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/20/22 — 2/26/22

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, I devoted a good deal of time to watching the news.  The Russian invasion of Ukraine has been horrifying to watch unfold.  At the same time, the bravery of the people of Ukraine has also been inspiring to witness.

Here’s a few thoughts on everything else that I watched this week:

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

While the Germans continued to search for the stolen gold, Rene reluctantly went through with marrying Edith, despite the fact that he’s really in love with Yvette.  Of course, Rene already was married to Edith but, because everyone in the village was convinced that Rene was actually his twin brother (who, coincidentally, was also named Rene), it was believed that Edith was a widow.  Alphonse even proposed marriage to her and Rene was forced to go through with the second marriage despite the fact that he wasn’t particularly happy with his first.  Got all that?

Meanwhile, Herr Flick sent Helga to try to distract Rene so that …. well, I’m not sure why Herr Flick did that.  I assume that it probably had something to do with recovering the stolen gold.  To be honest, it’s hard to keep track of everyone’s individual motivations.  The important thing is that Crabtree showed up and spoke in his mangled version of French.  Plus, LeClerc showed up, wearing a wet suit and announced, “It is I, LeClerc.”

It made me laugh.  That’s the important thing.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, ABC)

I wrote about the latest leg of the race here!  This was actually probably one of the best episodes in the history of The Amazing Race, with each of the four remaining teams revealing a bit about themselves and their dynamic.  I now like all four of the teams, even Kim & Penn.  I’m thankful that this week’s episode was a non-elimination leg and, as a result, Ryan and Dusty are still in the Race.  The finale is next week!  I am currently rooting for Cayla and Raquel because they remind me of myself and Erin.

Celebrity Big Bother (Paramount Plus and CBS)

It’s over!  I wrote about the final few days of Celebrity Big Brother at the Big Brother Blog!  This was a tough season to watch and I have to admit that there were a few times when I really resented the fact that it existed at all.  In the end, the jury showed zero enthusiasm as they named Meisha the season’s winner.  Todrick Hall pretty much ruined his reputation so that he could be the runner up.  It was not a pleasant season to watch.  Hopefully, this will be the final installment of Celebrity Big Brother.

Friends (Weeknights, Channel 33)

I watched an episode on Tuesday night.  Rachel was dating Bruce Willis.  Ross was dating Bruce Willis’s daughter.  Chaos ensued.  Ross discovered that Bruce was just as neurotic and nerdy as he was, which was kind of a nice touch.  That said, I do feel like Friends always went a little bit overboard with the celebrity guest stars.

I Survived A Serial Killer (Friday Afternoon, A&E)

I have mixed feelings about this show.  On the one hand, it’s great that the people being interview survived.  On the other hand, it’s kind of disturbing that “serial killer” is one of those terms that apparently brings in the viewers.  I’m as guilty as anyone, of course.  I mean, I ended up watching three episodes of this show on Friday!  It’s just that I worry that we sometimes give serial killers so much attention that we turn them into celebrities.  Serial killers are losers and they should be treated like losers.  Consider someone like The BTK Killer, who coined his own nickname.  He craved attention and he’s still getting it, even though he’s currently sitting in prison.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

12 years after initially being canceled, Law & Order is back for its 21st season!  Returning are Anthony Anderson (on the law side) and Sam Waterston (on the order side).  Camyrn Manheim is the new precinct captain.  Jeffrey Donavon is Anderson’s partner.  Hugh Dancy and Odelya Halevi are the new assistant DAs.

The first episode of this revival was a bit uneven.  It dealt with the murder of a famous singer (played by Norm Lewis) who was obviously meant to serve as a stand-in for Bill Cosby.  The singer had been convicted of rape but his sentence was overturned on a technicality.  He was gunned down outside of his New York townhouse.  Even though he was literally shot in the crotch, it took Anderson and Donavon a while to figure out that the murder was related to his crimes.

Anyway, it turned out that one of his victims was the murderer but Donavon resorted to unethical means to get a confession from her and Dancy, being one of those annoyingly idealistic types, didn’t want to use evidence that he considered to be tainted.  Previous cast member Carey Lowell returned in the role of Jamie Ross but it was a bit of an unsatisfying return because the episode never fully committed to whether or not she knew about the murder in advance or not.

(It was also a bit strange since it had been previously established that Jamie Ross left the DA’s office, became a defense attorney, and was then appointed to a judgeship.  Yet, on this episode of Law & Order, she was once again working for the District Attorney’s office.  No one mentioned anything about her being a former judge, either.  Obviously, it was a continuity error but I still hope the show tries to come up with an in-universe explanation at some point.)

The main problem with the episode was that each of the new characters were basically only given one personality trait.  Donavon was always angry.  Dancy was always conflicted.  There wasn’t much nuance to either one of them and it was easy to get annoyed with both characters.  Meanwhile, poor Odelya Halevi wasn’t really given any personality at all.  Hopefully, next week’s episode will be a bit better.

The Love Boat (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

Taking a cruise on The Love Boat: David Doyle, Jack Gilford, Matthew Laborteaux, Charles Siebert, Connie Stevens, and Nancy Walker!  Okay, so it wasn’t exactly the greatest group of guest stars but still, I always enjoy seeing episodes of this silly, old show.  It’s all just so pleasantly superficial.

Murderville (Netflix)

On this Netflix show, Will Arnett is Detective Terry Seattle, a tough homicide detective who investigates a different murder every episode.  Each episode also features a new celebrity partner.  Because Seattle isn’t good at his job, it falls on the celeb to solve the murder.  The fun of the show is that it’s largely improvised, so the celeb has to think on their feet while trying not to laugh at the increasingly ludicrous details of each case.  Some celebs are better at this than others.

I watched two episodes on Sunday morning.  Seattle’s first partner was Conan O’Brien.  His second partner was football player Marshawn Lynch.  Conan correctly guessed the murderer.  Marshawn didn’t.  Conan obviously has more experience with improv than Marshawn but Marshawn’s lack of experience mixed with his own enthusiasm made him a bit more exciting to watch.

I enjoyed those first two episodes so much that, a few hours later, I decided to kill some time by watching the next two.  Kumail Nanjiani, to be honest, has gotten a bit too self-important lately but he was still fun to watch in his episode.  The fact that he kept laughing just added to the fun.  Annie Murphy, meanwhile, was brilliant.  I loved the fact that, instead of really paying attention to everything that was going on, she just made up clues.  Both Kumail and Annie correctly guessed who the murderer was.  Kumail, especially, did a good job.  I got the feeling that Annie’s guess was a bit more random but I would probably have done the exact same thing if I had found myself in her situation.  She guessed correctly and that is what was truly important.

I watched the final two episodes on Tuesday.  Sharon Stone and Ken Jeong were the final two guest stars and they were both good in their individual ways.  Stone, being a dramatic actress, tried to give a fairly straight performance, regardless of how strange things got.  Jeong, on the other hand, could not stop laughing and that was actually pretty endearing.  Fortunately, with Jeong’s help, Seattle was able to figure out who murdered his former partner and hopefully, Seattle will now be able to move on with his life.

With all that in mind, here are my Murderville rankings:

  1. Annie Murphy
  2. Kumail Nanjiani
  3. Marshawn Lynch
  4. Conan O’Brien
  5. Ken Jeong
  6. Sharon Stone

All six of them did a pretty good job.  So did Terry, eventually.

The Office (All Week, Comedy Central and Freeform)

I watched three episodes on Monday afternoon: The Injury, Michael’s Birthday, and The Convict.  All three of them were classics.  The Convict features one of my favorite scenes, in which Michael Scott attempted to transform himself into “Prison Mike.”  Then, on Tuesday, I caught the Golden Ticket episode on Freeform.  That’s always been one of my favorites, even if it does involve Michael trying to frame Dwight for coming up with a really terrible promotion.  Indeed, this episode featured Michael being a terrible boss and I’m a little surprised that Dwight was so forgiving.  That said, “Shoe La La” sounded like it had potential.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

The existential horror of working for Arkwright continued for poor Granville.  As usual, the episode ended with Arkwright talking to himself.  What a depressing show!

Pam & Tommy (Hulu)

I wrote about the latest episode of Pam & Tommy here!  This week’s episode wasn’t that bad but the show itself continues to feel a bit pointless.  There’s two more episodes left and I really can’t imagine what could possibly be left to say about these people.

Seinfeld (Weeknights, Channel 33)

I watched two episodes on Tuesday night.  In one episode, George lost his keys in a pothole, Kramer adopted a highway, and Elaine moved into a janitor’s closet so she could order food from a restaurant that didn’t deliver to her actual address.  (I hope the duck was worth it!)  The second episode featured George freaking out over an oven fire and tossing an old woman with a walker out of his way as he ran from the apartment.  George survived the fire but he was still nearly killed by an angry clown afterwards.  The main theme of these two episodes appeared to be that New York was a dangerous place to live.

Silk Stalkings (Tubi)

On Saturday afternoon, I returned to my Silk Stalkings binge.  The episode that I watched featured a woman who called herself Diana, The Huntress.  She would pick up men and then execute them.  She would also frequently call up a radio station and discuss her crimes.  Fortunately, Chris and Rita were on the case!  It was sordid and enjoyable, as episodes of Silk Stalkings tend to be.

Talking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

The return of The Walking Dead also meant the return of Talking Dead!  Unfortunately, Talking Dead was kind of boring this week.  Chris Hardwicke was as goofy and enthusiastic as ever but this show is just not as much fun when the guests aren’t actually sitting on the couch and dealing with the reactions of a live studio audience.  Without an audience, the energy just feels off.

Twin Peaks (DVD)

Because Thursday was Twin Peaks day, I binge watched the first season of David Lynch’s classic series.  Needless to say, it holds up like a wonderful dream.  Watching the first season with the knowledge that Bobby Briggs was going to eventually grow up to be one of the good guys added a whole new layer to the show.  Unfortunately, the scenes with the young and rebellious Audrey now feel incredibly sad.

The Walking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

I wrote about the mid-season premiere here!  The Reapers may be gone but the Commonwealth is here!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/6/22 — 2/13/22

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s been quite a week.  The Oscar nominations were announced.  The creepiest Winter Games ever have been playing out in China.  South Park revealed that some people apparently didn’t understand that Tolkein was named after the author of The Hobibt and Lord of the Rings.  (Like, seriously, you guys…..)  And the z-list celebs on Celebrity Big Brother revealed themselves to be taking the show way too seriously.

Here’s a few thoughts on what I watched this week:

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

Chaos on a train!  Rene thought he and Yvette were going to elope on the Geneva Express but unfortunately, his wife Edith found Rene’s note and thought that it was meant for her.  While Rene wandered the train, trying to hook up with his two mistresses without his wife noticing, Herr Flick, Lt. Gruber, and a host of others wandered the train in search for the valuable original copy of the painting known as The Fallen Madonna With The Big Boobies.  Things got a bit chaotic on the train and they were even more chaotic back at the Cafe, where Officer Crabtree and his mangled French offered up very little in the way of help.  I laughed, I always do.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the latest episode of The Amazing Race here.  The Amazing Race has been a bit odd this season.  Due to the COVID lockdowns, two of the strongest teams ended up dropping out of the race.  As a result, we are late into the race and there are currently three strong teams and then two teams that basically can’t even read a road map.  The two weaker teams would never have lasted this long in a normal season.  I’m going to laugh and laugh if one of them somehow manages to win.  As of right now, though, it seems as if the oddly robotic but hyper competent team of Kim & Penn have to be considered the favorites.

BBC World News (Tuesday Morning, BBC)

I watched the Oscar nomination announcements on the BBC because, unlike ABC, the BBC actually showed all of the categories instead of just showing the major nominees.  (Add to that, why would anyone want to watch Oscar analysis from George Stephanopoulos?)  I have to admit that I enjoyed the BBC’s take on the nominations, which basically amounted to, “Quite a few nominations for Belfast, that’s a win for our side.”

Celebrity Big Brother (CBS and Paramount Plus)

I wrote about Celebrity Big Brother for the Big Brother Blog.  I have to admit that I’m not a huge fan of celebrity reality competition shows to begin with and Celebrity Big Brother tends to be the worst of them all.  Since celebrities really don’t have much at stake in these games, most of them just leave the House when things get too intense, like Chris Kattan did earlier this week.  As for the remaining celebrity houseguests, Todd Bridges is an idiot and Toddrick Hall seems to be taking this whole thing just a little bit too seriously.  Don’t ruin your brand just to give Julie Chen something to talk about.

King of the Hill (Weekday Afternoon, FXX)

Among the episodes I watched on Monday afternoon, there was one where Hank got to carry the Olympic flame and Dale got a chance to use the flame to light his cigarette.  Go, Hank!  Go, Dale!  That was back when the Olympics were something special.

On Thursday, after getting disgusted with all of the propaganda at the Winter Games, I again turned over to FXX and watched a few episodes of King of the Hill.  I watched five episodes, from Lucky trying to sue Dale to Launne getting married to Boomhauer surfing at Corpus Christi.  It was fun and took my mind off what Boomhauer would call “the dang ol’ enormity of it all.”

 The Love Boat (MeTV, Sunday Afternoon)

Yay!  It was a 70s Valentine’s cruise!  Love was in the air and cocaine was probably backstage.  Sailing on the Love Boat were Patty Duke, Frankie Avalon, Barbie Benton, Denny Evans, Jamie Farr, Ricky Nelson, and Carole White!  A computer program that was designed to link everyone to their ideal Valentine’s Day partner caused havoc on the boat but everything worked out in the end.  That’s the important thing.

Pam & Tommy (Hulu)

Because I have the world’s worst martyr complex, I wrote about the latest episode of Pam & Tommy here.

South Park (Wednesday Night, Comedy Central)

For the record, I always knew his name was Tolkien.  I don’t know what the Hell was wrong with the rest of you.

The Winter Olympics (All Week, NBC and Other Stations)

On Sunday night, I watched figure skating.  Even though I’m not as into the Olympics this year as I’ve been in previous years, there’s still no way that I would miss figure skating, curling, yeti hunting, and that weird sport where they ski and shoot a rifle.

On Monday morning, I watched that very sport, with the skiing and the rifle shooting.  It still seemed like a strange sport to me but, as I watched, I also realized that it was probably the only Olympic event that James Bond would have enjoyed (and, by that, I mean Roger Moore’s joyful Bond as opposed to Daniel Craig’s whiny Bond) and I was happy about that.  Later, I watched some curling and I seriously think I could do well with that sport.  I know how to work a broom.

On Wednesday, I watched some skiing and that totally freaked me out, just because I’ve heard so many stories about people slamming into trees.  Agck!  Then, on Thursday, I watched a bit more curling and that definitely left me less freaked out than the skiing.  You can’t hurt anyone with a broom, unless you’re Jackie Chan in an 80s movie.

Saturday morning, I watched some figure skating, which I loved.  I also watched some ski jumping and I marveled at how fake the snow looked.  Apparently, they’ve been using fake snow for the Winter Olympics because it’s not actually that cold or snowy in Beijing.  That’s weird and strange and yet somehow appropriate for these uniquely uninspiring games.

WKRP In Cincinnati (MeTV, Sunday Afternoon)

Radio DJ Johnny Fever got a job hosting a television dance show and sold out his soul to play disco music.  Fortunately, Johnny was able to vanquish his evil Rip Tide identity at the end of the episode.  At one point, Johnny’s TV boss said that she loved the 60s and would love to “get mellow and listen to the Dead” after the show and I was like, “Oh my God, they allowed people talk about weed on TV back then?”  You learn something new every day.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/30/22 — 2/5/22

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I promised last week, I spent most of this week getting caught up on movies.  Here’s some thoughts on what little television I did watch:

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

Though the episode aired on Sunday, I didn’t get to watch it until Friday and I have to admit that I was a bit out of it at the time, so don’t even ask me to explain just what exactly happened.  I do remember that Officer Crabtree had a conversation in which he mangled the French language.  I know that happens every episode but still, it always makes me laugh.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the latest episode of The Amazing Race here!

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

Claytonbot continued to learn human emotions while the bachelorettes continued to accuse each other of not being on the show for the right reasons.  Claytonbot even cancelled the cocktail party due to some drama that was definitely totally real and in no way staged.  Like, totally, for real.

Bar Rescue (Weekday Mornings, Paramount TV)

I watched an episode on Tuesday.  A bartender couldn’t make the perfect Manhattan so Jon Taffer condemned everyone who worked at the bar to Hell.

Celebrity Big Brother (Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday Night)

I wrote about Celebrity Big Brother, the show that I love to hate, over at the Big Brother Blog.

Football Game: Bengals vs. Chiefs (Sunday Night, Fox)

I was happy when the Bengals won because they wear those cute helmets with the stripes.

Football Games: 49ers vs Rams (Sunday afternoon, CBS)

Everyone’s a winner as far as I’m concerned!  Yay!  But, on a much more realistic note, the Rams won.  Or was it the 49ers?  I can’t remember for sure.  Either way, congrats.

Full House (Sunday Mornings, MeTV)

I watched two episodes on Sunday.  Uncle Jesse was upset that no one cared about his crappy cover band.  I have to wonder if the band themselves ever resented having all of Danny Tanner’s bratty children wandering around the place while they were trying to rehearse.  Also, why didn’t they rehearse in the garage as opposed to that cramped living room?  I haven’t seen that many episodes of Full House but I’m getting the feeling that this show often did not make sense.

The Love Boat (Sunday Evening, MeTV)

It was a Halloween episode so everyone wore a costume.  Woo hoo!

The Office (All Week, Comedy Central)

On Friday, I watched the “Search Committee” episode, which I’ve always considered to be one of those shows biggest mistakes.  This was after Michael had left, D’Angelo had died, and Dwight had fired a gun in the office.  Jo appointed Gabe, Jim, and Toby to interview applicants to be the new manager and, of course, all of the applicants were played by celebrities.  The cameos were distracting and I still don’t understand why James Spader’s bland take on Robert California led to the show being massively restructured during the following season.  Of the celebs who interviewed, Ray Romano actually came across like he would have been the best fit for the show’s style but, if I remember correctly, Romano was already on another show at the time.  Personally, I think that, instead of trying to find another Steve Carell, they should have just hired some nondescript nobody to play the manager and spent the last seasons of The Office concentrating on the people working there.

I can still remember watching this episode when it originally aired.  At the time, I actually felt a bit of dread when Andy Bernard showed up to be interviewed because I knew he was probably going to end up with the job.  Andy was a funny character during his first two seasons with the show but, after that, Ed Helms’s performance started to become oddly needy.  All of the flaws that made Andy an unfortunate choice to be at the center of the season 8 were present in the “Search Committee” episode.

Finally, I have to ask — why would Jo put Jim on the Committee?  How does that make any sense?  He already had managerial experience so why didn’t she just promote him?

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

Granville seemed to be really upset about something.  As usual, Arkwright was too busy obsessing on Nurse Gladys Emmanuel to care.  This was definitely an episode that I had seen before.

Pam & Tommy (Hulu)

I wrote about the first three episodes of Pam & Tommy here.

Parking Wars (Tuesday Morning, A&E)

The indie towing guys took a man’s truck and then laughed when the man said that he was going to lose his job and wouldn’t be able to feed his family.  What a bunch of scumbags.  “I feel bad for him but he came here cussing and I got no sympathy for that.”  ANY SYMPATHY, you illiterate fascist!

The View (Weekday Mornings, ABC)

It’s been a very long time since I’ve watched The View but I decided to watch it on Tuesday to see how they would deal with Whoopi Goldberg outing herself as being incredibly ignorant on the subject of the Holocaust.  It turns out that they didn’t really deal with it.  Whoopi briefly interviewed the president of the ADL, who mentioned that The View had never had a Jewish co-host.  The show then went to commercial and we came back with Whoopi and the gang talking about “you know who,” which I guess is their way of referring to Trump.  Later, Charlie Day was interviewed.  I like Charlie Day.  For one thing, he’s not an anti-Semite.

That night, after the show aired, ABC announced that Whoopi would be suspended for two weeks.  For the record, I don’t think Whoopi’s comments were malicious, at least not in the way that Nick Cannon’s anti-Semitic comments were.  (It’s kind of weird how Nick basically repeated the same anti-Semitic conspiracy theories that have, for centuries, been used to justify the persecution of the Jewish people but, afterwards, was allowed to keep his job as host of The Masked Singer and was also giving his own talk show.  Like seriously, how the Hell does that happen?)  I think Whoopi’s comments were ignorant and the fact that she doubled down on them, on both the show and apparently later on Colbert, shows the type of arrogance that only comes from never having to deal with anyone openly disagreeing with you.  I’d rather that, instead of suspending her and waiting for everything the blow over, The View would have used this opportunity to educate both Goldberg and the show’s viewers.  Whoopi Goldberg is 66 years old and, we are constantly told, a smart woman.  That she could be so ignorant is definitely a cause for concern.

The Winter Olympics (Weekdays, NBC and other stations)

I’ve tried to watch a little of The Olympics but the whole thing just feels icky this year.  As soon as the Olympics Committee guy started quoting John Lennon during the opening ceremonies, I had to look away.  I imagine I’ll watch a bit of skating and maybe some curling.  But I’m definitely in no way enthusiastic about the Olympics this year.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/9/22 — 1/15/22

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Another week and I have yet to watch the latest season of Cobra Kai.  What can I tell you?  This was a busy week and  I was sick for a good deal of it.  No, not COVID sick.  Instead, I was just sick with the cold and the allergies that I get hit with every January.  You would think that would lead to me having a lot of extra time in which I would have nothing to do but watch all the latest shows but it didn’t quite work out that way.

Anyway, I’m feeling better now and David Lynch’s birthday is next Thursday so this upcoming week is going to be a good one.

Here’s my week in television.

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

LeClerc was nearly executed in the town square by Herr Flick.  Apparently, it was because Flick is still searching for the stolen money.  (To be honest, it can be a bit difficult to keep up with everyone’s motivations on Allo Allo.)  Fortunately, the British bombers flew over the town just in time to provide a distraction.  “The bummers!” Office Crabtree announced, in his mangled French, “Just in the nock of tome!”  LeClerc escaped with his life but the British airmen are still stuck at Rene’s café.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

The Amazing Race went to Scotland this week, which made me feel very nostalgic for the last time that I was in Scotland.  Unfortunately, at the end of this leg of the race, Phil announced that shooting was being suspended due to the COVID lockdowns.  The action then picked up over a year later, with the remaining teams gathering in Switzerland to continue the race.  Unfortunately, not all of the teams could return, including my favorite, the team of Anthony and Spencer.  Boo hoo.  Anyway, I reviewed this week’s episode here!

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

This Monday, I watched the Bachelor while also watching a Steven Seagal film.  I’m still trying to decide which leading man had less charisma.  Seagal is pretty boring but Clayton is just like a piece of cement that can speak in barely legible sentences.

Bar Rescue (Weekday Morning, Paramount)

I had this on the TV for background noise on Thursday morning.  While Windows updated, I listened to Jon Taffer yell at an owner who forgot to call a cab for a drunk guy.  Usually, I think Taffer needs to calm down but, in this case, he did have a point.

The Brady Bunch (Sunday Morning, MeTV)

On Sunday, MeTV aired four episodes of The Brady Bunch and they all featured Alice being taken for granted.  In the first two episodes, her boyfriend took her for granted.  In the next two, the family took her for granted and even drove her to quit at one point.  The new maid wasn’t as nice as Alice so the family went down to Alice’s new waitressing job and basically got her fired.  What a bunch of jerks.  Why did Alice put with all that?  Was the money that good?

Dexter: New Blood (Sunday Night, Showtime)

I wrote about the series finale here!  For the record, I refuse to believe that Dexter’s dead.

Judge Steve Harvey (Monday and Tuesday Night, ABC)

I watched this new series on Monday.  It came on after The Bachelor and I was too busy (or maybe lazy) to change the channel.  I can’t really say I paid that much attention to it.  Why would you air a cheesy courtroom show in Primetime?  Why would you get Steve Harvey to be the judge?  Why, why, why?

By the way, since Steve Harvey is now an ABC employee, you know he’s going to end up hosting the Oscars right?  The Oscars are going to come back from commercial and Steve’s going to say, “If you ain’t thanking God in your speech, that Oscar’s not going to provide much comfort while you’re burning in Hell.”

King of the Hill (Weekdays, FXX)

I watched a few episodes of King of the Hill on Sunday afternoon.  My favorite of them was the two-part episode where Hank was briefly a murder suspect and he feared that, due to accidentally taking one hit off a joint, he might be guilty.  “My God, I’m hearing things.  That’s a side effect of the marijuana poisoning.”

The Larry Sanders Show (HBOMax)

This is a 90s sitcom that aired on HBO, about a neurotic talk show host (Garry Shandling), his sleazy sidekick (Jeffrey Tambor), his profane producer (Rip Torn), and the show’s staff.  Jeff loves this show so we watched two episodes on Sunday morning.  The first one we watched featured Larry freaking out over David Duchovny having a crush on him.  The second one featured Larry’s sidekick, Hank, freaking out because one of his sex tapes had been stolen.  In short, there were a lot of people freaking out.  Both episodes were pretty funny, though the whole thing was definitely a relic of a different era.  (The highlight of the second episode was a bizarre conversation between Norm McDonald and Henry Winkler.  Winkler thought Hank’s sex tape was an exercise video.  McDonald said, “Hank’s got a huge cock,” in that Canadian way of his.  Winkler replied, “Then why is he so upset?”  Trust me, it was funny.)  Rip Torn was hilarious as Larry’s producer.  That said, I don’t think I would have wanted to spend any time with any of the characters on The Larry Sanders Show.  They were all funny but kind of mean.  They probably would have made me cry.

The Love Boat (Sunday Evening, MeTV)

MeTV paid tribute to Betty White on Sunday by showing a 1984 episode of The Love Boat, in which she was a passenger.  Also on the Boat for that cruise: Carol Channing, Rue McClanahan, Michelle Phillips, Cesar Romero, Alan Thicke, Dick Van Patten, and Fred Willard.

Betty White and Carol Channing played showbiz veterans who were trying to convince Cesar Romero to publish White’s memoirs.  Thicke played a man who was trying to convince his ex-wife (Phillips) to marry Fred Willard so he wouldn’t have to pay any more alimony.  Meanwhile, in a totally serious subplot, Dick Van Patten played an abusive salesman married to McClanahan.  The serious subplot was kind of jarring when mixed in with scenes of White and Channing singing and Fred Willard doing his amiable goof routine.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

MeTV showed four episodes of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, all featuring Betty White in the role of Sue Anne Nivens.  Needless to say, they were all funny but it was hard to watch them without considering that the entire cast is now gone.

Mom (Weekday Afternoon, Paramount)

On Thursday, I forgot the change the channel before Paramount started their two-hour Mom bloc.  All four of the episodes dealt with the moms and their friends freaking out over people smoking weed.  The few time that I’ve seen Mom have made me happy that I don’t have an addictive personality because I don’t think I could handle being a Recovery person.

The Office (Weekday Evenings, Freeform)

I’m happy to say that The Office is now on FreeForm, so I can watch it without having to deal with Comedy Central’s weird, mental health commercials.  (“The past two years have been difficult for everyone….”  Yeah, no shit.  That’s why I’m watching your station, so I can escape for a few hours.)   I watched a few episodes from Season 4 on Wednesday and then a few from Season 5 on Friday.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

While Arkwright cheated his customers and sold them spoiled food, Granville swept the store in quiet misery.

Relatively Famous: Ranch Rules (Saturday Morning, E!)

The children of celebrities work at a ranch, that’s the plot of this show.  On the episode I saw, Billy Bob Thornton’s son was fascinated by a cow giving birth.  Then everyone went back to their cabin and talked about how difficult it was being only relatively famous.

Silk Stalkings (Tubi)

On Sunday morning, I decided to get back to binging Silk Stalkings, the 90s show about half-naked people committing crimes.  The first episode that I watched featured Chris and Rita investigating the murder of a hair dresser.  At first, they thought it was mob-related but then it turned out to be relationship related.  This was actually an episode that I had seen before but it was still enjoyable to rewatch.  The second one I watched featured Chris and Rita investigating the murder of a surgeon and again, this turned out to be one that I had seen before.  (Both episodes previously aired on ZLiving while I was dealing with that terrible sinus infection last year.)  Still, even if it was a rewatch, it was still enjoyable.  Silk Stalkings was delightfully trashy.

The first episode that I watched on Monday was another one that I saw last summer, while I was dealing with that sinus infection.  (Yuck.  I hate word sinus and I hate the word infection.)  A real estate tycoon was beaten to death by a baseball bat and all the suspicion fell on the baseball player that Rita happened to be dating.  This was followed by an episode in which an obnoxious radio talk show host bullied people into committing murder and suicide.  It was a well-done episode.  Rodger Bumpass (who is perhaps best-known for voicing Squidward Tentacles on Spongebob) was perfectly cast as the evil talk show host.  The third episode I watched involved Chris and Rita solving a homicide that was witnessed by a teenage runaway.  Rita encouraged the runaway to get back in school.  Good for Rita!  Finally, the fourth episode featured Rita investigating the murder of a friend’s nanny.  I didn’t really pay much attention to it but, from what I saw, everyone appeared to be having fun.

On Tuesday, I got things started with an episode that featured Chris and Rita investigating a murder at an exclusive casino.  Chris got to wear a tux while Rita went undercover as a dealer.  They were so cute together!  This was followed by an episode with Rita and Chris investigated the death of a drug dealer, despite the fact that the new DA wanted them to lay off the case because it might make the department look bad.  It was a bit of bland episode, to be honest.  The third episode was considerably better, as it featured Chris shooting a suspect and then the suspect’s sister trying to get revenge by seducing him.  It was trashy and fun.  Even more trashy and fun was the final episode that I watched on Tuesday, in which a prostitute witnessed a murder and Chris and Rita ended up investigating a judge.

I didn’t watch the show on Wednesday but I did return to it on Thursday.  The first episode I watched featured Chris, Rita, and their captain (played by Broadway legend Ben Vereen) going undercover to bust a bunch of drug dealer who were working out of a club.  Vereen seemed to be having a lot of fun and that made this otherwise pedestrian episode entertaining.  This was followed by an episode that found Chris and Rita going undercover yet again, this time on the set of a trashy film shoot.  It turned out that one of the actresses on the film was Chris’s mother!  It was a fun episode.

On Friday, the first episode that I watched featured the great Patrick Muldoon as a serial rapist who had just been released from prison.  Chris and Rita made sure that he didn’t go back to prison by sending him to the graveyard instead.  Muldoon, in his younger years, was always perfectly cast as a villain and this episode was effectively disturbing.  Rita and Chris’s fury felt real and cathartic.  At its best, Silk Stalkings was trash with a conscience.  That was followed by an episode where Chris and Rita went undercover as a married couple and were totally adorable as they solved the murder of a man who was found on the beach wearing a tuxedo.

I did not watch the show on Saturday but I look forward to returning to it over the course of the upcoming week!

WKRP In Cincinnati (DVD)

This 70s sitcom dealt with the daily life at a radio station in Cincinnati.  Jeff loves this show so we watched a few episodes on Sunday morning.  One dealt with a man in a pig costume painting the station’s lobby.  Another one featured the station manager running unsuccessfully for city council.  And the third one featured the station’s ad guy appearing on an early reality show called Real Families.  WKRP was a pretty funny show.  Like The Larry Sanders Show, it was very much a show of its time.  Unlike The Larry Sanders Show, the show’s characters were really likable and I would have probably enjoyed working with them.  No one would have made me cry.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television 1/2/22 — 1/8/22

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As the first week of 2022 comes to a close …. I have yet to watch the fourth season of Cobra Kai!  What’s up with that?  Oh well, I’ll watch it next week.  This week, I was busy.  Next week, I’ll ignore everything else I need to do and watch TV.  How is that not a good plan?

Anyway, here’s what I watched this week:

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

After being gone for a month due to pledge programming, Allo Allo returned to the PBS line-up on January 2nd.  Having escaped from the hospital, Rene returned to the café and dealt with Michelle’s latest scheme to get the airmen out of France.  It involved hiding them in a hollow bomb that would be dropped over England.  The only problem is the Resistance needed a place to hide the bombs.  Michelle, of course, volunteered Rene’s cafe.

While I continue to laugh at Crabtree’s mangled French, I also find myself looking forward to the every scene involving LeClerc and his attempts to disguise himself.  “It is I, LeClerc.”

The Amazing Race 33 (Wendsenday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the premiere of The Amazing Race here!

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

Big goofy Clayton is the new Bachelor.  Big goofy Jesse Palmer is the new host.  Honestly, we need more of a break between installments of this franchise.  Anyway, Monday’s episode featured Clayton meeting the girls and, of course, sending one of them home on the first night because she wasn’t there for the right reasons (plus, she was like sloppy drunk).  It was such an obvious set up.

Dexter: New Blood (Sunday Night, Showtime)

I reviewed the latest episode of Dexter: New Blood here!

Joe Millionaire (Thursday Night, Fox)

On this dating reality show, a group of women are competing to end up with one of two men.  One of the men is a millionaire.  The other isn’t!  The twist is that the women don’t know which is which.  Unfortunately, the viewers do know and that takes a lot of the fun out of the show.  It would be a lot more enjoyable if we were guessing along with the women.  Instead, we know that the farmer is actually very wealthy and the dude who looks like a European prince is actually a construction worker.

(To be honest, this show seems more like a parody of a reality show than an actual show.)

The first episode of this new edition of Joe Millionaire aired on Thursday.  One of the women was sent home because she followed one of the men on social media.  The show handled this development as if it was the most serious thing ever.  I guess sending one random person home on the first day is going to be a new dating show ritual.  Anyway, Joe Millionaire was pretty stupid.  The men were boring.  The women were boring.  The host is also the butler at the mansion where everyone is staying.  There was a lot of nonsense over whether or not everyone was there for the right reason.  (What is the right reason when it comes to stuff like this?)  Who cares?

I’ll probably watch it, though.  I just won’t talk about it on twitter.  It’ll be our little secret, my dear readers.  Sound good?

The Love Boat (Sunday Evening, MeTV)

The Love Boat and its enthusiastic crew completed their cruise to Alaska.  Everyone learned an important lesson about being too competitive and the importance of following one’s heart.  Yay!  Needless to say, it was a pretty silly show but sometimes, it’s good to watch something silly.

And Love …. won’t hurt anymore….

The Office (All The Time, Comedy Central)

I watched a few episodes from the fourth season on Thursday.  Michael hanging out in New York with Ryan was good.  The dinner party remains a classic.  I had to change the channel once we got to the one where Jim was playing golf with the client and, for some stupid reason, he brought along Kevin and Andy.  It never felt right whenever the show featured Jim actually working.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

After being off the air for the month of December due to pledge programming, Open All Hours has returned to the PBS lineup.  On Sunday’s episode, Arkwright longed for Nurse Gladys Emmanuel while Granville continued to stew in resentment.  I don’t blame Granville.  It couldn’t have been easy being a 40 year-old stockboy.  I always find myself wondering what Granville did to get sold into indentured servitude in the first place.

Shipping Wars (Tuesday Morning, A&E)

A&E is now showing the old, original episodes of Shipping Wars in the morning and new episodes at night.  I have yet to watch any of the new episodes, mostly because the old episodes got so annoying after Roy died that I can’t imagine that the new episodes could be any better.

Anyway, on Tuesday, I mostly had the show on for background noise.  I did notice that one episode featured a bunch of people pointing guns at Roy.  It was presented as being a very dramatic situation but if Roy was really going to be shot, I kind of doubt that Shipping Wars film crew would be allowed to just hang out while it was happening.  Eventually, it all turned out to be an elaborate prank.

Another episode featured Jen basically destroying a butter sculpture that she had been hired to deliver.  Apparently, this was no prank.  On the original Shipping Wars, Jen ruined nearly every delivery she was supposed to make.  It’s kind of odd that people kept hiring her.

The Twilight Zone (Sunday, SyFy)

SyFy completed its Twilight Zone marathon on Sunday.  I caught two of the marathon’s final episodes, both of which were from the season when the show had an hour running time instead of 30-minute.  The hour-long Twilight Zones tend to be uneven.  The first episode I watched was about a ship that came across as possibly haunted submarine.  It would have been an enjoyably creepy 30-minute episode but, at an hour, there was just too much obvious padding.  The second episode featured a young Dennis Hopper as a Neo-Nazi loser who finds success after a mysterious benefactor takes him under his wing.  The identity of the benefactor was obvious from the start (it rhymed with Jitler) but Hopper’s odd and unhinged performance made this episode memorable.

U.S. Figure Skating Championships 2022 (Saturday afternoon, NBC)

USA!  USA!  USA!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television — 12/26/21 — 1/1/22

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Happy 2022!  I spent most of this holiday week visiting my sister Megan and her family.  That’s been a bit of a Bowman holiday tradition since 2008.  We watched a lot of TV.  We both love Saved By The Bell and California Dreams so that shouldn’t be too much of surprise.  Anyway, there’s much to share this week so let’s get right into what I watched during the final week of 2021!

The Bold and the Beautiful (Weekday afternoons, CBS)

This used to be my show!  Of course, it’s been a while since I’ve regularly watched The Bold and the Beautiful but, on Wednesday, I decided to tune in just to see what was happening.  People were discussing their relationships and talking about fashion while getting ready for New Year’s.  Brooke is still on the show.  I might start setting the DVR in 2022.

The Brady Bunch (Sunday Morning, MeTV)

I watched two episodes.  First, Greg wanted to drop out of high school to pursue a career as a major league pitcher.  He was talked out of it.  Is there nothing that the Brady kids weren’t good at?  What an annoying family!  This was followed by an episode in which Marcia promised she could get Davy Jones to play her high school dance and somehow, she pulled it off because everything always worked out for Marcia.  Jan, on the other hand….

California Dreams (DVD)

Megan and I watched a few episodes of this classic 90s NBC sitcom on Friday morning.  It’s kind of our New Year’s tradition.  We both agreed that Lorena and I have a lot in common.  We also watched Tony perform that “Next big thing” song of his.  He’s so funky!

Dance Moms (Wednesday, LRW)

LRW did a Dance Moms marathon on Wednesday.  I watched a few episodes that morning and it made me realize how much I miss this show.  It also brought back a lot of memories for me personally, though my mom was never as crazy as the moms on this show.  I wonder if Maddie ever returns Abby’s calls.

Since the show aired on LRW, I got to see all those old “real women” commercials that Lifetime used to air, like the one with the woman talking about the time she scolded her mom for saying she needed a man to explain something to her.  “You know, that was her generation, ha ha ha.”  All I know is that you just made fun of your mother on national television.

Days of Our Lives (Weekday Afternoons, NBC)

It’s been a while since I’ve watched any of the daytime dramas but my sister Megan informed me that a character on Days of Our Lives had been possessed by the devil since September so, on Tuesday, I decided to watch to see what that was like.  From what I saw of it, it looked like a lot of fun.  With Marlena tied to her bed and speaking in a gravelly demon voice, everyone was getting ready for the exorcism.  “We’re not dealing with your mom,” one character explain, “We’re dealing with …. it.”  “You shut your mouth or you’re going to get a face full of holy water!” someone else declared.  A priest entered the bedroom and Marlena’s daughter said, “You’re a priest again?”  Meanwhile, Patch dressed up as Santa Claus, which was charming in its own weird way.  Fortunately, everything worked out in the end.  These are indeed the days of our lives.

Dexter: New Blood (Showtime, Sunday Night)

I wrote about the latest episode of Dexter here!

Football Game: Bills vs. Patriots (Sunday Afternoon, CBS)

I watched this on Sunday morning with my sisters.  I have to admit that I didn’t pay much attention but I do remember that everyone wanted the Bills to win so I felt obligated to cheer for the Patriots.  I don’t remember who actually won, though.  Football games are really, really long.

Football Game: Cowboys vs. Football Team (Sunday Night, NBC)

I watched this game with my sister Megan and her husband, John.  They got really excited whenever the Cowboys scored.  I felt bad for Football Team.  I figure that it has to suck to be a member of Football Team because everyone they meet is probably like, “Who do you play for?” and when the player says, “Football team,” everyone probably replies, “I know, but which one?”  What I’m saying here is that these guys need a real name if they’re going to succeed.  For example, the Cowboys pretty much destroyed Football Team on Sunday.  I thought the Cowboys were seriously going to score a 100 points before the game ended.  Poor generic Football Team.

General Hospital (Weekday Afternoons, ABC)

I watched an episode on Wednesday.  Too much talk, not enough hospital.

Hang Time (YouTube)

Hang Time was basically Saved By The Bell except it centered around a high school basketball team in Indiana.  It aired from 1995 to 2000 on NBC and it was never that good but it lives on because every episode has been uploaded to YouTube.  NBC is pretty aggressive about taking down unauthorized SBTB uploads but they don’t seem to care much about Hang Time.

Anyway, early Wednesday morning, I forced Megan to watch an episode because I wanted her to hear one line that always amused me.  The episode opened, as they often did, with a basketball game.  However, for this game, the main characters (including a very young Anthony Anderson) were forced to spend the entire game on the bench while the backup players hit the court and …. uhm, lost.  In fact, they lost bad.  It turned out the main characters were being punished for getting fake IDs and driving drunk.

About 15 minutes into the episode, one of the backup players is injured but when he limps over to the baseline or the sideline or whatever they call it in basketball, he yells at the coach that he wants to keep playing because, unlike some people, “I CARE ABOUT THE TEAM!”  And then coach sends him back into the game despite the fact that the he can barely walk!  For some reason, that’s always made me laugh.  The coach taught his players a lesson by forcing someone who did nothing wrong to play injured.  What a guy!

The Love Boat (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

The Love Boat and another ship traveled to Alaska, where the captains competed to see who was the best.  Apparently, it was a promotional gimmick but the competition turned personal when the son of the rival captain decided that he would rather work on the super mellow Love Boat as opposed to his father’s boat.  Anyway, it was silly but Alaska looked lovely.  Plus, Sonny Bono was on the episode as some sort of hyper corporate guy.

The Office (Weekdays, Comedy Central)

Comedy Central did an Office marathon this week.  On Monday, I watched a few episodes from season 2.  They kept me happy as I wrote 2,300 words on Monster, one of the most depressing movies ever made.  (Look for that review on Monday!)  Then, on Tuesday, I watched a few episodes from season 3 while I was writing another 2,000 words about the making of The Godfather Part III.  (Look for that post on Monday as well!)

By the time Wednesday rolled around, Comedy Central had started on season 5, which is when the show started to get uneven and, not coincidentally, Ed Helms’s role started to get larger.  However, there were still some classic episodes during season 5, like the Golden Ticket episode and The Michael Scott Paper Company arc.  Those also just happened to be the episodes that I watched.

By Thursday, we were into season six and …. eh.  Season six is when Jim and Pam started to get a bit insufferable in their smugness and there was that whole weird thing where Jim was briefly co-manager.  Megan and I watched the Gossip episode and The Meeting episode and we both agreed it was actually kind of rude of Jim to go behind Michael’s back with his whole co-manager idea.  We then did a little shopping.  When we came back, we caught my two favorite episodes of that season — Scott’s Tots and The Shareholder’s Meeting. 

Hey there, Mr. Scott, whatcha going to do?  Whatcha going to do?  Make our dreams come true!

Parking Wars (Weekday Mornings, A&E)

On Thursday morning, I forced Megan to watch an episode of Parking Wars with me, just so she could understand what I’m always complaining about.  For 30 minutes, as we watched the action in Detroit and Philadelphia, I said, “See?  This is totally how fascism comes to be accepted!”  Megan said she agreed with me, though I think she may have just been saying that …. which is fine!  Just as long everyone agrees.

Sabrina, The Teenage Witch (Fuse, Monday Morning)

Sabrina felt that all of her academic accomplishments were being taken for granted so she cast a spell which caused everyone to go crazy over every little thing she did.  Needless to say, an important lesson about humility was learned.

As far as I’m concerned, this is the only show about Sabrina, The Teenage Witch that matters.  Talking Salem for the win!

Saved By The Bell: The Junior High Years (a.k.a. Good Morning Miss Bliss) (Netflix)

At December 26th, at midnight, my sister Megan and I sat down and watched six episodes of Saved By The Bell.  Well, we didn’t actually just spend 2 and a half hours watching them.  We were talking and cleaning and laughing and doing other things.  But still, we had the show on and we did occasionally pause long enough in all of our other activities to see what was going on.

The episodes that we watched were from the infamous Junior High years.  That was when the show aired on the Disney Channel and it was set in Indiana and Slater, Kelly, and Jessie were not on the show.  Instead, the show centered around Miss Bliss (Hayley Mills), a British widow who somehow ended up teaching social studies at a junior high in Indiana.  At the time, the show was called Good Morning, Miss Bliss.  Good Morning, Miss Bliss was canceled after 13 episodes but was then relaunched on NBC, with Zack, Screech, Lisa, and Mr. Belding all somehow relocating to California.  The Miss Bliss episodes could probably be written off as non-canon, if not for the fact that many of them were re-aired as episodes of Saved By The Bell, with special introductions in which Zack would say, “This is from when we were in junior high.”  It didn’t make any sense but Saved By The Bell just didn’t care.

Anyway, the first episode of Good Morning, Miss Bliss featured Zack lying to a girl about the fact that he was only in the 8th Grade.  The girl was played by a very young Carla Gugino, who went on to do much better things with her career.  Anyway, Zack learned an important lesson about lying but apparently not important enough to inspire Zack to actually be honest in any future episodes.

The 2nd episode that we watched featured a love letter that kept getting read by the wrong people.  Mr. Belding thought Miss Bliss was in love with him.  Miss Bliss thought Belding loved her.  Lisa thought …. ugh, I’m getting a headache just thinking about it.  The most interesting thing about this episode is that the whole stupid plot was later reused in one of the Tori episodes of regular Saved By The Bell.

The third episode that we watched was one of my favorites of the Miss Bliss episodes.  Miss Bliss teaches her students about the stock market by investing some of her own money in a stock of their choosing.  However, Zack desperately needs money so he invests the money in potatoes.  Miss Bliss is furious when she finds out and yells at everyone, which was fun because Miss Bliss was always a bit too perfect to be believed so it was nice to see that, deep down, she was a neurotic mess.  Fortunately, she forgave everyone by the end of the episode.

Episode #4 features Zack’s friend Nikki refusing to dissect a frog.  Miss Bliss took Nikki’s side but was still upset when Nikki stole all of the frogs.  Meanwhile, Mr. Belding was panicking because he thought another school was trying to recruit Miss Bliss so he let Miss Bliss have anything that she wanted.  However, Mr. Belding soon realized he was mistaken and promptly took everything back.  TAKE THAT, MISS BLISS!

Episode #5 left Megan and I totally confused.  Zack was upset because Miss Bliss was dating his father.  The divorce of the Morrises had been hard on Zack and, as a result, Zack was totally acting out.  What’s weird is that Zack’s parents were NOT divorced in the high school episodes of Saved By The Bell.  It’s almost as if the writers just didn’t care.

Finally, Episode #6 featured Screech getting targeted by the school bully.  However, it turned out that the bully was just upset because he was illiterate.  That would have upset me too.  Having learned a valuable lesson about bullying, Megan and I decided we had watched enough Saved By The Bell for that morning.

On Monday morning, we watched the remaining 7 Miss Bliss episodes.  Again, we didn’t just watch.  We talked and laughed and made plans while the show played in the background.  To be honest, we probably paid even less attention on Monday than we did on Sunday.  By this point, we’ve both got every episode of this stupid show memorized so it’s not like we really had to focus to know what was going on.

Episode #7 was a school dance episode.  I guess, technically, it was the first ever SBTB dance episode.  Mr. Belding was worried about a fight breaking out at the dance.  A first actually did break out at the dance between Zack and his loser friend, Mickey.  Mickey liked a girl but she liked Zack.  Fortunately, Miss Bliss was there to save the day.

In Episode #8, Zack got out of taking a midterm by releasing Screech’s pet rats in the school.  Megan and I found the idea of a school closing down because of rats to be hilarious.  Seriously, I’ve seen rodents running around college campuses, ducking from classroom to classroom.  Anyway, due to Zack’s selfishness, it appeared that Miss Bliss would miss out on her chance to be named Teacher of the Year.  Fortunately, everyone teamed up to help her because, of course, the entire school revolved around keeping her happy.

In Episode #9, Zack and his other other loser friend, Nikki, teamed up for a class project but Zack expected her to do all the work.  (Boooo!)  It led to a rift in their friendship but Zack fixed it all by apologizing in front of the entire class.  Megan and I both agreed that was probably an awkward experience for all the other students who were forced to sit through it.

Episode #10 found the junior high in the midst of a prank war.  Who pranked Miss Bliss and ruined her ugly sweater!?  Everyone thought it was Screech and the class held a mock trial as opposed to just burning him at the stake.  Screech was acquitted and it turned out that he was actually framed by Miss Bliss, who wanted to teach the class about the jury system.  Neither Megan nor I cared much for this episode and we agreed that it was proof that Miss Bliss was a terrible teacher who didn’t really consider what being forced through a mock trial could do to a young student’s psyche.

Episode #11 was the silliest episode of all.  It turned out that Miss Bliss’s former student, Colleen Morton, was now a pop star named …. STEVIE!  Zack made a bet with everyone that he could get a kiss from Stevie.  He did get a kiss, but it was from Colleen.  It was only later that Zack figured out that Colleen and Stevie were one in the same!  Zack lost the bet, even though he was being honest about having been kissed by her.  So, I guess the lesson here is that Saved By The Bell took place in a post-truth world.

Episode #12 featured Zack pledging to some sort of weird ninth grade fraternity.  The frat demanded that Zack mistreat all of his friends and then, after Zack had lost everyone’s friendship, they revealed they were just playing a joke on him.  For some weird reason, Miss Bliss was the principal while Mr. Belding taught home room.  At first, everyone thought that Miss Bliss was both the perfect principal and the perfect teacher but then it turned out that Miss Bliss didn’t actually bother to get permission from the school board for any of the “good” things that she did and all of her solutions backfired.  TAKE THAT, MISS BLISS!

Finally, we ended things with the 13th and final episode of the Miss Bliss years.  Miss Bliss’s mentor showed up at the school and helped to teach her class.  His unorthodox methods were frowned upon by Mr. Belding.  Personally, I think Belding had a point but whatever.  The important thing is that Megan and I survived all 13 episodes.

Silk Stalkings (Tubi)

I decided to binge all 8 seasons of the stylish 90s crime show, Silk Stalkings.  This show also airs on one of the retro channels, ZLiving.  It was a stylish show about rich people doing bad things, often while undressed.  The first few seasons starred Rob Estes and Mitzi Kapture as Chris and Rita, two detectives who worked together to solve crimes and who generated endless amounts of sexual tension.

My sister Megan and I watched the pilot on Monday.  Chris and Rita investigated the murder of a model. Not surprisingly, the pilot was mostly about introducing Chris and Rita and establishing that they were attractive people who would be worth watching.  The pilot did a good job of just that.  Estes and Kapture had obvious chemistry from the start.  Even overly cutesy things — like calling each other “Sam” — were charming when they did it.  A good deal of time was devoted to Rita recovering from an aneurism, with gave the audiences a chance to see just how much Chris cared about his partner.  It was sweet, even if I have to agree with Rita that Chris was being a bit overprotective.  After the pilot, Megan and I watched two more episodes.  Chris and Rita investigate an old rich man who was shooting snuff films in his private sex dungeon and Rita came to terms with the tragic details of her father’s death.  And then, a rich car salesman was found floating in the ocean.  Fortunately, Chris and Rita were able to bring his very attractive killers to justice!

On Tuesday, we watched an episode in which Chris and Rita solved the murder of a wealthy (naturally) man who was killed on a golf course by an assailant who wielding a meat hook!  AGCK!  It was a grisly case but the important thing is that everyone involved was attractive.  Rita got shot towards the end of the episode.  She survived but Megan and I were still like, “Awwwwww!” when Chris got all worried about it.  This was followed by a fun episode in which Chris and Rita investigated the murder of a Congressman.  You might be surprised to learn that investigating the death of a politician involves talking to a lot of half-naked people. Chris and Rita (especially Chris) were up for the job!  This episode also featured a cute little subplot where Chris tried to help Rita deal with her insomnia.  Rita had a big poster that simply read, “ART!” in her bedroom.

The first episode that we watched on Wednesday featured Chris and Rita investigating the murder of a half-naked,rich woman.  This led to a scene in which they arrested a naked man who, standing in his hot tub, announced that “I heard you would need a semen sample.  I was just getting warmed up for you.”  Meanwhile, Chris reconnected with an ex-girlfriend who was now working as a stripper.  Reconnecting, in this case, meant spending a lot of time at the beach.  It was a fun episode.  The second episode found Chris and Rita investigating the murder of a sleazy tabloid publisher.  Of course, if this show had been made today, he would have just owned a clickbait factory and his death would have been live-streamed.  Chis was also upset that Rita had a date with a guy that she barely knew.  The date, of course, led to wild limo sex because seriously, what else are you going to do in a limo?

We got things started on Thursday with an episode about a decadent socialite who was drowned in her own pool.  Chris and Rita eventually discovered that the killer was a psycho named James who, ironically enough, also ended up dying in a pool.  Of course, James killed himself by jumping into the water while holding a sander.  We then watched an episode featuring Chris and Rita investigating a murder that had been committed by a bunch of frat boys.  Megan and I both agreed that frat boys were the worst!

The Steve Wilkos Show (Weekday Morning, Channel 33)

Hey, Steve Wilkos!  Giving lie detector tests and changing lives!  Good for you, Steve!  I watched your show on Wednesday morning because I was waking up and getting ready for my day and I was basically too busy to change the channel!  Get the Hell off my stage!

The Tribe (Pluto TV)

The Tribe is a British/New Zealand co-production that ran for five seasons in the last 90s and the early aughts.  It takes place in a future in which all of the adults have been killed by a mysterious virus, leaving behind only children and teenagers who have all formed “tribes,” and who are having to grow up in a world ruled by fear and anarchy.  A friend of mine has been recommending this show to me for a while.  One of my New Year’s resolutions was to finally check it out!

And that’s what I did.  On Saturday morning, around 2 a.m., I watched the first episode on Pluto.  It was pretty good.  It quickly set up the premise and introduced the characters.  Actually, it did quite a bit in just 25 minutes.  After meeting in an abandoned city, the main tribe took refuge in a mall.  Meanwhile, on the outside, a group of teenagers drove around in a cop car, the siren wailing ominously.  It was was an intriguing opening and, after watching the first episode, I decided that The Tribe would be one of the shows that I would binge over the course of 2022.

The Twilight Zone (Saturday and Sunday, SyFy)

I got a few episodes of SyFy’s annual Twilight Zone marathon.  On Saturday, I saw Burgess Meredith break his glasses.  I saw the one with the hitch-hiker who kept saying, “Going my way?”  And I saw one of my absolute favorite episodes, The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street.  On Sunday, the highlight included Twenty-Two (“Room for one more!”), Peter Falk playing Castro in The Mirror, The Hunt (in which a man realizes that only Hell would refuse to allow dogs), The Bard (in which Shakespeare met Burt Reynolds), and The Changing of the Guard with the great Donald Pleasence!

The Young and the Restless (Weekday mornings, CBS)

Because I had so much fun with Days of Our Lives on Tuesday, I decided to watch The Young and The Restless on Wednesday.  Unfortunately, the episode of Y&R that I saw was a bit dry, with a lot of scenes of people standing around and talking about a lawsuit.  It was kind of boring but at least everyone looked good!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Televison: 12/19/21 — 12/25/21

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Merry Christmas!  Here’s what I watched this holiday week!  It’s a short list because it’s the holidays.  Next week, I’m planning on getting caught up on a few shows before the start of 2022.

A Very Boy Band Holiday (Thursday Night, ABC)

Erin and I watched this two weeks ago.  On Thursday night, we watched it with our other two sisters, Megan and Melissa.  It was fun.  How can’t you love Joey Fatone holding a bunch of boy banders hostage in a Christmas cabin?

A Charlie Brown Christmas (Sunday Night, PBS)

I watched this with my sister.  It’s a tradition!  Be sure to read what Erin wrote about this special and why it’s still important.

Dexter (Sunday Night, Showtime)

It was a good episode this week.  I wrote about it here!

Kelly Clarkson Presents: When Christmas Comes Around (Thursday Night, NBC)

I like Kelly Clarkson.  She’s from Texas and she’s got a helluva voice.

The Love Boat (Sunday Night, MeTV)

On yet another Christmas cruise, there was love and there were laughs.  This time, the overly eager crew hired three separate Santa Clauses.  It cause a bit of trouble but, in the end, everything worked out for the best because there’s always room for multiple Santas!  The other plotline of this episode dealt with a down-on-his-luck comedian who ended up sharing his cabin with an adorable dog, who he adopted at the end of the cruise.  Awwwwwww!

The Office (Friday Morning, Comedy Central)

On Friday morning, my sister Megan and I watched the first three of The Office Christmas episodes.  My favorite is still the first, the one where Michael ruins Secret Santa.  Benihana Christmas is pretty funny as well, though I do think Karen could have tried hard to work with Angela before forming her own rival Party Planning Committee.

Santa Claus is Coming To Town (Thursday Night, ABC)

I watched this classic 1970 animated special with my sisters on Thursday night.  It had actually been a few years since I had last watched this and I was surprised to discover that it was a lot better than I remembered.  The animation was adorable and the voice acting of Mickey Rooney and Fred Astaire holds up surprisingly well.  I’m glad I watched it and I’m even happier that I watched it with my family.

Seinfeld (Weeknights, Comedy Central & Netflix)

A chicken place with a bright red neon sign turned Kramer’s apartment in the Angry Red Planet.  This was followed by an episode in which Kramer got the wrong personalized license plates and suddenly became very popular.  The 90s were a wild time.

On Thursday morning, Jeff & I watched the episode where Kramer returned to his old job making bagels, Elaine tried to get back a card that she could use to get a free submarine sandwich, Jerry dated a woman whose appearance kept changing, and — most importantly — the Constanzas once again celebrated Festivus!

It was a Festivus miracle!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 12/12/21 — 12/18/21

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Again, I didn’t watch much this week.  I was busy getting ready for Christmas and my boyfriend’s birthday and watching and writing reviews for 2022.  So, not much television this week!  However, here’s a few notes on what little I did watch.

Boxing (ESN, Sunday Night)

Yikes!  I’m not sure who was fighting who but everyone certainly did seem angry.  I have to admit that I do have an odd weakness for the spectacle of men hitting each other but I also cringe whenever the blood starts flowing.  The best thing about boxing is when everyone hugs after the match and you realize that none of it was personal.  Awwwwwww!

Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO, Sunday Night)

Larry David annoyed a lot of people.  It’s what he’s good at.  Now, I haven’t really been keeping up with this season but, as far as I can tell from watching Sunday’s episode, Larry is sleeping with a really annoying local politician because he’s hoping she’ll change the zoning laws and this somehow will allow Larry to fire an actor who he dislikes.  And apparently, someone drowned in Larry’s pool and now Larry is being blackmailed or something.  (Actually, I kind of got the feeling that maybe Larry killed whoever it was.)  I don’t know.  It was confusing but it was funny just because Larry doesn’t know when to stop.

Dexter: New Blood (Showtime, Sunday Night)

I wrote about the latest episode of Dexter: New Blood here!

The Love Boat (MeTV, Sunday Night)

There was a definitely lack of Christmas cheer on the Christmas cruise but luckily, Mickey Rooney played an angel who brought everyone together, taught the children how to sing, and saved the marriage of Donnie Osmond and Maureen McCormick.

Mom (Friday Afternoon, Paramount)

I swear, have the people on this show ever met anyone who they didn’t automatically accuse of being an alcoholic?  On Friday, Paramount showed a quartet of depressing Christmas episodes.  Yikes!

Seinfeld (Comedy Central, Sunday Night)

I watched three episodes on Sunday night.  Jerry learned how to express his emotions and George sold computers.  George lost his keys in a pothole and Jerry had a panic attack after a toothbrush fell in a toilet. (Ewwwwww!  I don’t blame him.)  And then George killed his fiancée with toxic envelopes.  Unfortunately, Jerry had just gotten engaged so the tragic end of George’s engagement was a bit awkward for all involved.  Line of the episode: “I can’t be with someone who reminds me of me!  I HATE MYSELF!”

The 70th Miss Universe Pageant (Fox, Sunday Night)

Miss Paraguay should have won.  Also, Steve Harvey needs to get some new material.  I mean, Steve — we know you announced the wrong winner a few years ago.  We’ve moved on.  The only person who keeps bringing this up is you.

SERIOUSLY, STEVE, IT’S OKAY!

Survivor (CBS, Wednesday Night)

I wrote about the season finale of Survivor here!  This was an okay season.  I was happy to have Survivor back but Jeff Probt’s new happy and enthusiastic persona didn’t really work for me.  Of the final three, Xander probably should have won but the jury was a bit bitter so congrats to Erika on her victory!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/31/21 — 11/6/21

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I spent the first week after Halloween in a state of exhaustion.  That’s the way it usually is after a successful horrorthon.  I got a lot of work done at the office.  I had the TV on for background noise for quite a bit of the time.  Here’s what I watched:

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

With the colonels being held hostage by the Communist Resistance, Michelle came up with a great plan to solve the problem!  Rene could simply rob a bank!  After all, Michelle said, they had access to the greatest safe cracker in all of France.  LeClerc looked confused until he realized she was talking about him.  Rene attempted to refuse but soon found himself in a bank, holding a torch while LeClerc attempted to break into the safe.  It all led, of course, to an explosion.  Monsieur Alphonse was upset that some of his money was set on fire to provide light in the vault.  Who can blame him?  Meanwhile, Officer Crabtree kept asking Michelle and Rene if there done “ribbing the bonk.”  I laughed.

The Bachelorette (Tuesday Night, ABC)

Michelle sent Jamie home, which was good.  But then she canceled the Cocktail Party, which …. eh.  The whole “I’m going to cancel the cocktail party and go straight to the Rose Ceremony” thing has become the biggest Bachelorette cliché move.  It’s right up there with questioning whether someone is on the show for the right reasons.

Baywatch Hawaii (Prime)

Running for two seasons, from 1999 to 2001 (wow, two centuries!), Baywatch Hawaii was an attempt to reenergize the fading popularity of Baywatch by moving all of the lifeguard action to a new state.  Mitch (David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff) left California for Hawaii, where he started a new branch of Baywatch.  JD (Michael Bergin), Jessie (Brooke Burns), and Newman (MICHAEL NEWMAN!) came with him and were joined by a group of new lifeguard trainees.  Of the new cast members, a very young Jason Mamoa played an impetuous lifeguard named …. Jason.

Having binged the original Baywatch earlier this year, I figured that I might as well watch the two seasons of Baywatch Hawaii, just so I could get the complete story.  Luckily, both seasons are on Prime.

On Thursday, I watched the first four episode and they weren’t particularly good.  The Hoff looked extremely bored and really wasn’t in much of the show.  Instead, most of the action revolved around Sean (Jason Brooks), the hardass instructor brought in to train the new lifegaurds and turn them into a team.  Every episode, Sean threatened to send someone back to the mainland and, each time, the lifeguards proved themselves at the last minute.  The first episode opened with the Hoff having an existential crisis in Hawaii, one that was solved when he saved a little girl from drowning.  The second episode featured Sean yelling at the new recruits while the Hoff saved the exact same little girl from suffering a case of secondary drowning at her birthday party.  This was followed by an episode where a new lifeguard named Dawn joined the team and immediately started scheming to seal JD away from from Jessie.  Finally, in episode #4, Jason was nearly sent home for being too “self-reliant,” which didn’t make much sense to me but whatever.  In all four episodes, the Hawiiaian scenery was lovely and everyone had an aesthetically pleasing body and really, that’s the main concern with a show like this.

On Friday, I watched episodes 4 through 8.  Sean yelled at the lifeguards.  Jason struggled to learn how to work as a member of a team.  Dawn kept trying to steal everyone’s boyfriend. So far, this has been a pretty repetitive show.  The same could be said of the original Baywatch but that show often seemed to be cheerfully aware of how silly it was whereas Baywatch Hawaii took itself a bit too seriously.  The 8th episode did feature the return of Hobie.  The Hoff was upset when he discovered that 1) Hobie was marrying a girl that the Hoff had never met and 2) Hobie was apparently embarrassed to introduce the Hoff to the wealthy parents of his wife-to-be.  Embarrassed by the Hoff!?  Say it ain’t so, Hobie!  It all worked out in the end, though. The Hoff saved a wedding photographer who fell in the ocean and Hobie and his girlfriend decided to put off getting married and instead just decided to live together in sin.  My aunt would be very disappointed in them.

Classic Concentration (Weekday Afternoons, Buzzr)

This was an old game show, in which contestants tried to match the pictures that were hiding under the squares.  I watched two episodes on Wednesday and it was actually kind of a fun show.

Cold Case (Weekday Afternoons, Start TV)

On Monday’s episode, the Cold Case Squad investigated why Lilly never seemed to wash her hair.  No, actually, they investigated a 1962 murder that had been disguised to look like a murder.  Seriously, though, what was up with Lilly’s hair?

Court Cam (Wednesday Evening, A&E)

I watched two episodes on Wednesday evening.  One featured a defendant who told the judge to go “<bleep> yourself” and I have to say that the A&E censorship beeps are so loud that they can actually give you a headache after a while.

Crossing Jordan (Weekday Afternoons, Start TV)

I watched two episodes on Monday but, for the most part, I just had the show on for background noise.  In the first episode, Jordan and her team of quirky coroners were outraged over prison conditions.  In the second episode, Jordan and the gang were outraged over a religious cult.  There was a lot of quirky outrage.

Day of the Dead (Friday Night, SyFy)

Eh.  It’s not really a bad show but, after watching three episodes this week to get caught up, I kind of feel that Day of the Dead is just not going to be for me.  It’s hard to say why I don’t particularly care for it.  The anti-fracking stuff is a bit too on-the-nose but, then again, George Romero wasn’t exactly subtle when it came to making his political points in the latter Dead films either.  I think my main problem is that we’re four episodes in and it’s still doesn’t seem as if the show has established any sort of narrative momentum.  So, I think I’m done with Day of the Dead for now.

Dennis The Menace (Weekday Mornings, Antenna TV)

I kind of watched two episodes of this show on Tuesday morning.  I say “kind of” because I only had the TV on in the office for background noise and Dennis was such a sociopathic little brat that I really couldn’t bring myself to pay that much attention to him.  Poor Mr. Wilson!

Fear the Walking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

Read my thoughts here!

Ghost Whisperer (Weekday morning, Start TV)

I watched an episode at Monday while I was at work.  After a college student was scared into a coma, Melinda had to determine if it was the work of Bloody Mary or if it was just a ghost who needed help crossing over.  This episode was from the Jay Mohr years so it had all of this weird sexual tension between Rick and Melinda, despite Melinda being married to Jim.

Hazel (Weekday Mornings, Antenna TV)

On Tuesday, I used two episodes of this maid-centered, old sitcom for background noise.  In one, Hazel raised money to repair a broken vase.  In the next one, she helped out a gardener who was in danger of getting fired.  Hazel really needed to get a life outside of work.

I Dream of Jeannie (Weekday Afternoons, Antenna TV)

On Tuesday, I had two episodes on for background noise.  One featured Jeannie’s dog causing chaos.  The other featured Jeannie ruining the marriage of Major Nelson’s commanding officer.  How many lives did Jeannie ruin during her reign of terror?

The Love Boat (Sunday Evening, MeTV)

I wrote about the special Halloween episode of The Love Boat here!

Match Game ’76 (Weekday Mornings, Buzzr)

I watched two episodes of this old game show on Wednesday.  Two contestants tried to match answers with a group of angry-looking alcholics.  The entire set looked like it reeked of gin, cigarettes, and skunk weed.

Match Game/Hollywood Squares Hour (Weekday Mornings, Buzzr)

This was a weird game show from the 80s.  Basically, it’s 30 minutes of the Match Game, followed by 30 minutes of Hollywood Squares with the same contestants and minor celebs taking part in both.  I kind of watched an episode of Wednesday morning but, to be honest, the show was mostly just background noise while I organized the office.

Medium (Weekday Mornings, Start TV)

I caught an episode on Monday, while I was at work.  Alison solved the case of a young woman who was pushed off a cliff.  Alison and her incredibly understanding husband also wondered whether they should warn a friend that Alison had foreseen him having a fatal heart attack.  The low-key and serious approach of Medium provided a clear contrast to the more sensationalistic approach of Ghost Whisperer.  But Ghost Whisperer was a much more fun show to watch.

The Office (Sunday Night, Comedy Central)

Jim and Pam badgered Danny Cordray over why Danny didn’t ask Pam on a second date.  This episode is a good example of how unlikable Jim and Pam became after they got married.

One Step Beyond (YouTube)

Check out the episode that I watched here.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

Granville sadly wondered if he would ever marry.  Arkwright told him he was too young to worry about such things, despite the fact that Granville appears to be nearly 50.  No wonder Granville is losing his grip on reality.

Saved By The Bell (Sunday Morning, MeTV)

No sooner had I recommended that people watch the Mystery Weekend episode for Halloween than MeTV aired it.

Survivor 41 (CBS, Wednesday Night)

I wrote about the latest episode of Survivor here!

Unforgettable (Weekday Afternoons, Start TV)

On Monday’s episode, Carrie and Al investigated a murder in upstate New York.  It reminded Carrie of her sister’s murder, mostly because Carrie has total recall and everything reminds her of her sister’s murder.  To be honest, I think if I had watched this show when it originally aired, I probably would have liked it.  The photographic memory aspect is interesting and Poppy Montgomery and Dylan Walsh are likable in the lead roles.

Walking Dead: World Beyond (Sunday Night, AMC)

Saved by the Dead remains an entertaining-enough show.  I’m still not sure what’s going on but I do enjoy all of the annoyed and rebellious attitudes.