Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 3/13/22 — 3/19/22


I probably watched too much television this week.  It happens.  But, on the plus side, I finally finished the first season of Baywatch Hawaii and I’m making progress on Silk Stalkings.  Plus, The Bachelor is over and I’m finally going to get a break from that franchise.  It’s always good to find the positive in things.

Here are some thoughts on what I watched this week:

American Idol (Sunday Night, ABC)

Despite having announced last week that they had found the next great superstar in that girl who played the piano, the American Idol judges were back for more auditions this week.  As I’ve been saying ever since this season began, American Idol could use a little more negativity.  I know that we’re all supposed to be super supportive nowadays but these shows are more fun when some obnoxious dude who can’t carry a tune gets his dreams shattered by a snarky Brit.  Maybe Katy should bring Orlando with her to the next set of auditions.  He seems like he could handle the role.

That said, I did like the gospel singer because he seemed to be a genuinely nice person and I just hope the show doesn’t ruin him.  If he says he wants to sing gospel, let him sing gospel and let America decide whether or not to keep him around.  Personally, I’m not a huge gospel music fan but whatever.  It obviously meant a lot to him.

The Bachelor (Monday and Tuesday Night, ABC)

Mostly because I found Clayton to be rather dull (hence, why I called him the Claytonbot), I didn’t watch much of the latest season of The Bachelor.  (It didn’t help, of course, that the Bachelor was scheduled opposite both Celebrity Big Brother and the Olympics.)  However, I did join my BFF Evelyn to watch the two-part finale on Monday and Tuesday nights.

Wow, what a mess.  The Claytonbot finally learned what love is and then promptly told three separate women that he was in love with them.  He then slept with two of them, which led the third one — Susie — to leave the show.  Then, at the Rose Ceremony, Claytonbot informed Gabby and Rachel that 1) he loved both of them and 2) that he had slept with both of them.  This caused Gabby to walk off the show.  Claytonbot, however, convinced Gabby to come back and accept the rose.  The next day, Gabby and Rachel both had a nice meeting with the Claytonbot’s human family.  After Gabby and Rachel left, Claytonbot informed everyone but the two women that he had decided that actually was in love with Susie and that he wanted a chance to try to convince her to return to the show. It didn’t seem to occur to the Claytonbot that Gabby and Rachel might not be happy with the idea of going through all of this emotional turmoil just so he could then track down the woman who had previously dumped him.  The Claytonbot’s human family looked deeply disappointed in him and somewhat embarrassed to be associated with him on national television.   That was all on Monday’s episode.

Tuesday’s episode was even messier as the Claytonbot dumped both Gabby and Rachel because he had decided that he was “most in love” with Susie.  Gabby yelled, Rachel cried, and they both ended up leaving.  Claytonbot proposed to Susie and Susie …. turned him down.  Bachelor Nation rejoiced!  But then host Jesse Palmer revealed that, after filming wrapped up, Susie slid into the Claytonbot’s DMs and now the two of them are dating.  The live studio audience was not happy, especially when Claytonbot said that all of the emotional turmoil was worth it to end up with Susie.  Try telling that to Gabby and Rachel, you dumbfug!  (I gave up cursing for Lent.)

Anyway, this season of the Bachelor ended not with an engagement but instead a lot of pain and hostility.  At least Gabby and Rachel will be the next bachelorettes.

Bar Rescue (Sunday and weekday mornings, Paramount)

I watched one episode on Sunday morning.  The owner of an Irish pub was drinking too much so Jon Taffer called him a jerk in front of all of his friends.  That probably helped with the alcoholism.

On Monday, I watched another episode.  In this one, Taffer and the crew revealed that the bar was selling cheap beer at premium prices.  This, of course, led to a Roadhouse-style bar brawl.  If only Dalton had been there to break it up.  Oh well!

On Tuesday, I again watched one episode.  Why was I watching so much Bar Rescue?  It’s kind of a fun show.  Jon Taffer is amusing and the show itself has a sense of humor about itself.  Anyway, Tuesday’s episode was about yet another bar owner who had a drinking problem.  Why do so many drunks end up owning bars?  I would never want to mix my hobbies with my day job.  Taffer yelled at her to get sober and, by the end of the episode, the alcoholism had been vanquished and the bar was making a lot of money.  Yay!

Baywatch Hawaii (Prime and Hulu)

On Tuesday night, I watched two episodes from the first season of Baywatch Hawaii.  The first episode featured Jessie training for a triathlon and then abandoning the race as soon as she realized that the team needed her to help out with a rescue.  Jessie put aside her personal goals for the good of the team.  If I was in a similar situation, I cannot say that I would have done the same.  This second episode that I watched featured Sean, Jenna, and the team heading to the Big Island for a conference on drowning.  With Jenna’s help Sean came to terms with the drowning death of his son.  Both episodes felt like they had been assembled from scenes that had been cut from previous episodes.  There was an odd subplot during the first episode in which Jason was haunted by an apparently malicious water demon.  That whole storyline got abandoned after 20 minutes and was never mentioned again.  It was odd.  Like, seriously, how do you just forget about a water demon?

On Wednesday afternoon, I finally finished up season 1 with the final two episodes of the season.  Top-billed David Hasselhoff, who was absent for most of the season, finally returned as Mitch Buchanon.  In the first episode I watched, he helped Jessie’s grandfather deal with the guilt that he felt over surviving the attack on Pearl Harbor.  Awwww!  Make fun of the Hoff all you want but sentimental stuff like this is what he’s good at and it was actually a pretty effective episode (by Baywatch Hawaii standards, of course).  The 2nd episode and the season finale featured Mitch …. GETTING BLOWN UP BY ECO-TERRORISTS!  Well, I guess that’s one way to get out of the show.  (Reportedly, the Hoff felt that he had been typecast as a result of his work on Baywatch.  Well, when you do a show for ten years, that will happen, I suppose.)   From what I understand, though, there was later a Baywatch reunion movie that established that Mitch actually survived the explosion, though with a case of amnesia.  That’s good because Mitch deserved better.  Other than Mitch getting blown up, the most interesting thing about this episode was that it revealed that both he and Sean were apparently part-time CIA agents, along with being lifeguards.  Good for them!  It’s always interesting to me how many part-time CIA agents there are on shows like this.

On Friday afternoon, I watched the first episode of the second season of Baywatch Hawaii.  There was no mention of Mitch or his sacrifice.  No one even seemed to be in mourning.  Instead, the episode introduced the viewers to a few new trainee lifeguards and also one new senior lifeguard, played by Brande Roderick.  Quite a few members of the first season cast were gone without explanation.  Jason Momoa was still there, however.  He looked kind of embarrassed.  As for the episode itself, it dealt with Sean and a former friend of his, an arrogant jet skier who didn’t care about stuff like teamwork.  *GASP!*

Beyond the Edge (Wednesday Night, CBS)

In this new reality show, 9 celebrities spend two weeks in the jungle and compete to raise money for charity.  Who will stay the entire two weeks!?  I watched the first episode and I don’t really care.  The celebs don’t really have any sort of personal stake in all of this so the competition aspect of it all is pretty dull.  I’m just glad that they’ve never done a celebrity edition of Survivor.  You know it’s going to happen someday, though.

The Bold and the Beautiful (Weekday Afternoon, CBS)

I watched an episode of the world’s greatest daytime drama on Tuesday afternoon.  Not much happened in the episode but the clothes were to die for and everyone owned a really nice house.  That’s the important thing.  It’s still hard for me to accept anyone other than Ronn Moss as Ridge.  Yes, I know it’s been ten years since Moss left the role but you have to understand that I don’t watch this show that often so, in my mind, it should still be exactly the same way that it was in 2009.

The Brady Bunch (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

MeTV showed four driving-related episodes of The Brady Bunch on Sunday.  Greg bought a car, without talking to his father about it first.  Carol had an accident and was sued by the other driver, who was faking his injuries.  Greg was told that he would not be allowed to drive his car for a week after nearly having an accident and then outsmarted his father by driving someone else’s car.  Marcia tried to get her license and this, of course, led to her and Greg getting into a fight over whether men were naturally better drivers than women.

I’m a bit disappointed that MeTV did not show the controversial episode were Mr. Brady ran over the homeless guy and then forced Alice to take the blame.  (Fortunately, Alice got out of prison just in time to appear on The Brady Bunch Variety Hour.)

Children’s Hospital (Hulu)

Yay!  My favorite medical show is on Hulu!  I rewatched season one on Sunday night.  Fortunately, since there were only five 11-minute episodes in that season, it only took me an hour.  But what an hour!  How great it was to see the early days of Children’s Hospital, when Dr. Cat Black was narrating her thoughts and Dr. Lola Spratt was pretending to have a brain tumor so she could break up with Owen.  And let’s not forget Dr. Blake Downs, curing people with the power of laughter!

Court Cam (Wednesday, A&E)

I only watched one episode on Wednesday evening.  This episode featured too much true crime footage for me.  I prefer when the episode focuses on lawyers acting strangely and judges speaking sarcastically.  Watching the actual crimes that led to people ending up in court in the first place just isn’t as much fun.

The Dropout (Hulu)

I reviewed the latest episode of The Dropout here!

Full House (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

Things continued to get heated at the Tanner household.  First, Joey and Jesse had to write a jingle together.  Then, the Beach Boys mysteriously showed up.  This was followed by Joey trying to be an authority figure as opposed to just a second-rate comic with an angry ex-girlfriend.  Finally, Danny was frustrated to discover that there apparently wasn’t a single woman in San Francisco who hadn’t already dated Jesse.  Poor DJ and Stephanie, it had to be traumatic growing up in that household!  That said, everything always worked out in the end.  The sentimental music would play.  Danny would say something wise.  The audience would respond with, “Awwwwwww!”

Happy Days (Weekday Evenings, MeTV)

I’m never quite understood the popularity of this old show but I did watch one episode on Tuesday evening.  The Fonz had to convince his cousin, Spike, not to be a delinquent.  Ron Howard only appeared for a few minutes at the start of the episode.  I guess it was largely filmed during his week off.

Inventing Anna (Netflix)

On Friday, I finally decided to return to watching Inventing Anna.  It’s not so much that Inventing Anna is any good (it’s not) as much as it’s just a case of me not wanting to leave anything unfinished.  I started watching this show and dammit, I’m going to finish it!  Even if it takes me until 2024.

Anyway, I finally watched the 6th episode, which was all about Anna and her friends traveling to Morocco and Anna apparently committing credit card fraud in order to pay for the whole vacation.  To be honest, though, the episode was really about the character of Vivian Kent bulging her eyes and going overboard with the facial expressions while listening to everyone’s story.  After spending an hour presenting Anna as being a terrible and manipulative friend, the episode suddenly shifted gears and had people talking about how, “I felt so sorry for Anna, in Morocco all alone.”  It was kind of annoying and didn’t make much sense.  Nothing about the way Anna has been portrayed on this show makes it believable that she would inspire that type of loyalty.  Maybe I’ll finish this show next year.

King of the Hill (Hulu and weekday afternoons on FXX)

I watched one random episode on Hulu on Monday evening.  Kahn mortgaged his house to be buy Scrubby’s Car Wash, which was apparently an Arlen institution despite having never been mentioned on the show before this episode.  Needless to say, Kahn’s abrasive management style was not a hit with the redneck customers and eventually, Mr. Strickland had to step in.  It was an okay episode, if not one of the show’s best.  The highlight of the episode was the introduction of infomercial huckster Dr. Money.  Dr. Money promised to make his customer so rich that they would have “champagne for breakfast and caviar for your cat!”

On Tuesday, I watched four episodes on FXX.  I watched as Peggy attempted to run a used bookstore and end up instead running a gun shop.  I watched the classic Halloween episode where Louanne ended up a prisoner of insane pork product industrialist Trip Larsen.  This was followed by the episode in which Dale was hired to kill the rats at the Mega-Lo Mart and instead discovered that jazz trumpeter Chuck Mangione was secretly living in the store.  Finally, I watched an episode in which Louanne became a boxer and ended up fighting George Foreman’s daughter.  Hank nearly got into a fight with Foreman himself over whether or not the Foremen Grill was a novelty product or not.  Luckily, George’s son broke up the fight.  “No, Daddy!  He ain’t worth it!” still makes me laugh every time that I hear it.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

On this week’s “ripped from the headlines” Law & Order, a tennis player who was definitely not meant to be one of the Williams sisters stood accused of murdering a family court judge.  The tennis player went with an insanity defense, claiming that she was suffering from a manic episode at the time of the murder and that only her father’s conservatorship could keep her from losing control.  So, just like that, the episode went from being about the Williams sisters to being about Britney Spears.  In short, this episode was so ripped from the headlines that it was actually kind of dumb.

The Love Boat (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

On this week’s cruise: Sharon Gabet, Laurence Lau, Denise Miller, Taylor Miller, Robert Pine, Janine Turner, and Ruth Warrick.  Admittedly, that’s not exactly the most memorable list of passengers and it was a bit of a silly episode.  Somehow, Gopher got trapped in a suit of armor while a preacher was romantically pursued by two of his followers.  And then, out of nowhere, there was this huge dramatic storyline, in which Warrick tried to forgive the son of the man who killed her husband in a drunk driving accident.  It was an odd cruise but the scenery was nice.

M*A*S*H (Hulu and Weekday Evenings, MeTV)

Like Happy Days, this is another old show that I usually don’t really care for but I did watch two episodes on Tuesday.  Both of them featured Alan Alda talking about how much he hates the war and basically getting in everyone else’s way.  Like, seriously, Hawkeye — EVERYONE HATES WAR!  It’s not all about you.

On Friday, I discovered that M*A*S*H is on Hulu and I decided to give the show another shot, mostly because people really do tend to rave about it.  Jeff suggested that I check out a later episode called “Dreams” and oh my God, was it effective!  While dealing with a seemingly never-ending amount of wounded soldiers, each of the main characters tried to get an hour or two of sleep and everyone ended up having a dream about what the war was doing to them, mentally.  It was a bit heavy-handed but it was undeniably effective.  Who knows?  I may have to give this show another shot next week.

Saved By The Bell (Saturday, E!)

E! did a Saved By The Bell marathon on Saturday.  I watched as Kelly broke up with Zack, Zack solved the mystery weekend, and Johnny Dakota tried to get all the students at Bayside hooked on the weed with roots in Heck.  Bad Johnny Dakota!

(Yes, I said “roots in Heck.”  I gave up cursing for Lent.  I realize that I probably could have gotten away with not using Heck because it’s a name of place, as opposed to an actual exclamation.  But I decided that it’s best not to get cutesy with Lent.)

Savoring Our Faith (Sunday Afternoon, EWTN)

Fr. Leon Patalinghug talked about St. Patrick and why we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day while preparing a meal.  I watched this with Erin on Sunday and, somewhat unexpectedly, I enjoyed it.  It’s an Irish Catholic thing.

Silk Stalkings (Tubi)

On Monday, I returned to Silk Stalkings.  I watched the show’s 41st episode, in which Chris got shot at after witnessing yet another fight between a man, his mistress, and his wife. Chris literally couldn’t leave his apartment without witnessing a fight. Once again, the no-funsters at the police department were trying to get Chris in trouble but luckily, Rita was there to solve the crime.  To be honest, it was kind of a confusing episode but, as I’ve said before, this isn’t show that you watch for the plots.  You watch it for the frequently unclothed people committing crimes and having melodramatic conversations.  It’s a lot of fun.

On Tuesday, I watched episode #42.  A serial killer was stalking women who had sought the advice of a fake astrologer.  Chris not only flirted with every woman he met (even if he happened to meet them at a crime scene) but he also tossed the killer into the ocean.  Way to go, Chris!

On Friday morning, I watched episode #43, in which Chris and Rita investigated a murder connected to phone sex and prostitution.  Can you guess what happened next?  If you guessed, “Chris goes undercover as a client and Rita goes undercover as a phone sex operator,” you are correct!  This was a supremely silly episode, largely because there was only one suspect so it was pretty easy to guess who was going to end up getting shot at the end of it all.  Still, Chris and Rita!  How can you not love them?

I followed this with Episode #44 (entitled “Crime of Love”), which was also the first episode of the show’s third season!  Rita suspected that an author that she had previously arrested was responsible for murdering the wife of his publisher.  She was certain that there was no way that he could have reformed but it turned out that he wasn’t the murderer.  Sometimes you have to give people a second chance, Rita!

Since I was on a bit of a Chris & Rita roll, I decided to to watch two more episodes.  The first was Episode #45 (entitled “Team Spirit”), in which Chris and Rita investigated a serial killer who was targeting wealthy men.  However, the most interesting thing about the episode was the B-plot, in which Chris was audited by the IRS after he attempted to write off his wardrobe as a business expense! Even while being audited, Chris couldn’t help but flirt with the IRS agent.  Oh, Chris!

Episode #46 (“The Perfect Alibi”) found Chris and Rita investigating a hot tub murder that was linked to a gang of video tape bootleggers.  It was all very 90s but the main bad guy was named Sorkin so that was kind of amusing.  As usual, every suspect that Chris visited was just getting out of shower when Chris arrived at the apartment.  This happened every single episode but anyone who has watched the show knows that it didn’t matter how many half-naked people tried to come between them, Chris and Rita were always meant to be together.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about this week’s episode at Reality TV Chat Blog!

Talking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

Yay!  For the second week in a row, Talking Dead was broadcast from the studio as opposed to Chris Hardwicke’s living room.  Nature is healing.

Vaticano (Sunday Afteroon, EWTN)

It’s news for Catholics!  It’s also Lent so I watched this with Erin on Sunday afternoon.  I couldn’t help but remember the time that we visited Italy and took a tour of the Vatican.  It was, needless to say, beyond amazing.

The Walking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

I reviewed this week’s episode here!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television — 12/26/21 — 1/1/22


Happy 2022!  I spent most of this holiday week visiting my sister Megan and her family.  That’s been a bit of a Bowman holiday tradition since 2008.  We watched a lot of TV.  We both love Saved By The Bell and California Dreams so that shouldn’t be too much of surprise.  Anyway, there’s much to share this week so let’s get right into what I watched during the final week of 2021!

The Bold and the Beautiful (Weekday afternoons, CBS)

This used to be my show!  Of course, it’s been a while since I’ve regularly watched The Bold and the Beautiful but, on Wednesday, I decided to tune in just to see what was happening.  People were discussing their relationships and talking about fashion while getting ready for New Year’s.  Brooke is still on the show.  I might start setting the DVR in 2022.

The Brady Bunch (Sunday Morning, MeTV)

I watched two episodes.  First, Greg wanted to drop out of high school to pursue a career as a major league pitcher.  He was talked out of it.  Is there nothing that the Brady kids weren’t good at?  What an annoying family!  This was followed by an episode in which Marcia promised she could get Davy Jones to play her high school dance and somehow, she pulled it off because everything always worked out for Marcia.  Jan, on the other hand….

California Dreams (DVD)

Megan and I watched a few episodes of this classic 90s NBC sitcom on Friday morning.  It’s kind of our New Year’s tradition.  We both agreed that Lorena and I have a lot in common.  We also watched Tony perform that “Next big thing” song of his.  He’s so funky!

Dance Moms (Wednesday, LRW)

LRW did a Dance Moms marathon on Wednesday.  I watched a few episodes that morning and it made me realize how much I miss this show.  It also brought back a lot of memories for me personally, though my mom was never as crazy as the moms on this show.  I wonder if Maddie ever returns Abby’s calls.

Since the show aired on LRW, I got to see all those old “real women” commercials that Lifetime used to air, like the one with the woman talking about the time she scolded her mom for saying she needed a man to explain something to her.  “You know, that was her generation, ha ha ha.”  All I know is that you just made fun of your mother on national television.

Days of Our Lives (Weekday Afternoons, NBC)

It’s been a while since I’ve watched any of the daytime dramas but my sister Megan informed me that a character on Days of Our Lives had been possessed by the devil since September so, on Tuesday, I decided to watch to see what that was like.  From what I saw of it, it looked like a lot of fun.  With Marlena tied to her bed and speaking in a gravelly demon voice, everyone was getting ready for the exorcism.  “We’re not dealing with your mom,” one character explain, “We’re dealing with …. it.”  “You shut your mouth or you’re going to get a face full of holy water!” someone else declared.  A priest entered the bedroom and Marlena’s daughter said, “You’re a priest again?”  Meanwhile, Patch dressed up as Santa Claus, which was charming in its own weird way.  Fortunately, everything worked out in the end.  These are indeed the days of our lives.

Dexter: New Blood (Showtime, Sunday Night)

I wrote about the latest episode of Dexter here!

Football Game: Bills vs. Patriots (Sunday Afternoon, CBS)

I watched this on Sunday morning with my sisters.  I have to admit that I didn’t pay much attention but I do remember that everyone wanted the Bills to win so I felt obligated to cheer for the Patriots.  I don’t remember who actually won, though.  Football games are really, really long.

Football Game: Cowboys vs. Football Team (Sunday Night, NBC)

I watched this game with my sister Megan and her husband, John.  They got really excited whenever the Cowboys scored.  I felt bad for Football Team.  I figure that it has to suck to be a member of Football Team because everyone they meet is probably like, “Who do you play for?” and when the player says, “Football team,” everyone probably replies, “I know, but which one?”  What I’m saying here is that these guys need a real name if they’re going to succeed.  For example, the Cowboys pretty much destroyed Football Team on Sunday.  I thought the Cowboys were seriously going to score a 100 points before the game ended.  Poor generic Football Team.

General Hospital (Weekday Afternoons, ABC)

I watched an episode on Wednesday.  Too much talk, not enough hospital.

Hang Time (YouTube)

Hang Time was basically Saved By The Bell except it centered around a high school basketball team in Indiana.  It aired from 1995 to 2000 on NBC and it was never that good but it lives on because every episode has been uploaded to YouTube.  NBC is pretty aggressive about taking down unauthorized SBTB uploads but they don’t seem to care much about Hang Time.

Anyway, early Wednesday morning, I forced Megan to watch an episode because I wanted her to hear one line that always amused me.  The episode opened, as they often did, with a basketball game.  However, for this game, the main characters (including a very young Anthony Anderson) were forced to spend the entire game on the bench while the backup players hit the court and …. uhm, lost.  In fact, they lost bad.  It turned out the main characters were being punished for getting fake IDs and driving drunk.

About 15 minutes into the episode, one of the backup players is injured but when he limps over to the baseline or the sideline or whatever they call it in basketball, he yells at the coach that he wants to keep playing because, unlike some people, “I CARE ABOUT THE TEAM!”  And then coach sends him back into the game despite the fact that the he can barely walk!  For some reason, that’s always made me laugh.  The coach taught his players a lesson by forcing someone who did nothing wrong to play injured.  What a guy!

The Love Boat (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

The Love Boat and another ship traveled to Alaska, where the captains competed to see who was the best.  Apparently, it was a promotional gimmick but the competition turned personal when the son of the rival captain decided that he would rather work on the super mellow Love Boat as opposed to his father’s boat.  Anyway, it was silly but Alaska looked lovely.  Plus, Sonny Bono was on the episode as some sort of hyper corporate guy.

The Office (Weekdays, Comedy Central)

Comedy Central did an Office marathon this week.  On Monday, I watched a few episodes from season 2.  They kept me happy as I wrote 2,300 words on Monster, one of the most depressing movies ever made.  (Look for that review on Monday!)  Then, on Tuesday, I watched a few episodes from season 3 while I was writing another 2,000 words about the making of The Godfather Part III.  (Look for that post on Monday as well!)

By the time Wednesday rolled around, Comedy Central had started on season 5, which is when the show started to get uneven and, not coincidentally, Ed Helms’s role started to get larger.  However, there were still some classic episodes during season 5, like the Golden Ticket episode and The Michael Scott Paper Company arc.  Those also just happened to be the episodes that I watched.

By Thursday, we were into season six and …. eh.  Season six is when Jim and Pam started to get a bit insufferable in their smugness and there was that whole weird thing where Jim was briefly co-manager.  Megan and I watched the Gossip episode and The Meeting episode and we both agreed it was actually kind of rude of Jim to go behind Michael’s back with his whole co-manager idea.  We then did a little shopping.  When we came back, we caught my two favorite episodes of that season — Scott’s Tots and The Shareholder’s Meeting. 

Hey there, Mr. Scott, whatcha going to do?  Whatcha going to do?  Make our dreams come true!

Parking Wars (Weekday Mornings, A&E)

On Thursday morning, I forced Megan to watch an episode of Parking Wars with me, just so she could understand what I’m always complaining about.  For 30 minutes, as we watched the action in Detroit and Philadelphia, I said, “See?  This is totally how fascism comes to be accepted!”  Megan said she agreed with me, though I think she may have just been saying that …. which is fine!  Just as long everyone agrees.

Sabrina, The Teenage Witch (Fuse, Monday Morning)

Sabrina felt that all of her academic accomplishments were being taken for granted so she cast a spell which caused everyone to go crazy over every little thing she did.  Needless to say, an important lesson about humility was learned.

As far as I’m concerned, this is the only show about Sabrina, The Teenage Witch that matters.  Talking Salem for the win!

Saved By The Bell: The Junior High Years (a.k.a. Good Morning Miss Bliss) (Netflix)

At December 26th, at midnight, my sister Megan and I sat down and watched six episodes of Saved By The Bell.  Well, we didn’t actually just spend 2 and a half hours watching them.  We were talking and cleaning and laughing and doing other things.  But still, we had the show on and we did occasionally pause long enough in all of our other activities to see what was going on.

The episodes that we watched were from the infamous Junior High years.  That was when the show aired on the Disney Channel and it was set in Indiana and Slater, Kelly, and Jessie were not on the show.  Instead, the show centered around Miss Bliss (Hayley Mills), a British widow who somehow ended up teaching social studies at a junior high in Indiana.  At the time, the show was called Good Morning, Miss Bliss.  Good Morning, Miss Bliss was canceled after 13 episodes but was then relaunched on NBC, with Zack, Screech, Lisa, and Mr. Belding all somehow relocating to California.  The Miss Bliss episodes could probably be written off as non-canon, if not for the fact that many of them were re-aired as episodes of Saved By The Bell, with special introductions in which Zack would say, “This is from when we were in junior high.”  It didn’t make any sense but Saved By The Bell just didn’t care.

Anyway, the first episode of Good Morning, Miss Bliss featured Zack lying to a girl about the fact that he was only in the 8th Grade.  The girl was played by a very young Carla Gugino, who went on to do much better things with her career.  Anyway, Zack learned an important lesson about lying but apparently not important enough to inspire Zack to actually be honest in any future episodes.

The 2nd episode that we watched featured a love letter that kept getting read by the wrong people.  Mr. Belding thought Miss Bliss was in love with him.  Miss Bliss thought Belding loved her.  Lisa thought …. ugh, I’m getting a headache just thinking about it.  The most interesting thing about this episode is that the whole stupid plot was later reused in one of the Tori episodes of regular Saved By The Bell.

The third episode that we watched was one of my favorites of the Miss Bliss episodes.  Miss Bliss teaches her students about the stock market by investing some of her own money in a stock of their choosing.  However, Zack desperately needs money so he invests the money in potatoes.  Miss Bliss is furious when she finds out and yells at everyone, which was fun because Miss Bliss was always a bit too perfect to be believed so it was nice to see that, deep down, she was a neurotic mess.  Fortunately, she forgave everyone by the end of the episode.

Episode #4 features Zack’s friend Nikki refusing to dissect a frog.  Miss Bliss took Nikki’s side but was still upset when Nikki stole all of the frogs.  Meanwhile, Mr. Belding was panicking because he thought another school was trying to recruit Miss Bliss so he let Miss Bliss have anything that she wanted.  However, Mr. Belding soon realized he was mistaken and promptly took everything back.  TAKE THAT, MISS BLISS!

Episode #5 left Megan and I totally confused.  Zack was upset because Miss Bliss was dating his father.  The divorce of the Morrises had been hard on Zack and, as a result, Zack was totally acting out.  What’s weird is that Zack’s parents were NOT divorced in the high school episodes of Saved By The Bell.  It’s almost as if the writers just didn’t care.

Finally, Episode #6 featured Screech getting targeted by the school bully.  However, it turned out that the bully was just upset because he was illiterate.  That would have upset me too.  Having learned a valuable lesson about bullying, Megan and I decided we had watched enough Saved By The Bell for that morning.

On Monday morning, we watched the remaining 7 Miss Bliss episodes.  Again, we didn’t just watch.  We talked and laughed and made plans while the show played in the background.  To be honest, we probably paid even less attention on Monday than we did on Sunday.  By this point, we’ve both got every episode of this stupid show memorized so it’s not like we really had to focus to know what was going on.

Episode #7 was a school dance episode.  I guess, technically, it was the first ever SBTB dance episode.  Mr. Belding was worried about a fight breaking out at the dance.  A first actually did break out at the dance between Zack and his loser friend, Mickey.  Mickey liked a girl but she liked Zack.  Fortunately, Miss Bliss was there to save the day.

In Episode #8, Zack got out of taking a midterm by releasing Screech’s pet rats in the school.  Megan and I found the idea of a school closing down because of rats to be hilarious.  Seriously, I’ve seen rodents running around college campuses, ducking from classroom to classroom.  Anyway, due to Zack’s selfishness, it appeared that Miss Bliss would miss out on her chance to be named Teacher of the Year.  Fortunately, everyone teamed up to help her because, of course, the entire school revolved around keeping her happy.

In Episode #9, Zack and his other other loser friend, Nikki, teamed up for a class project but Zack expected her to do all the work.  (Boooo!)  It led to a rift in their friendship but Zack fixed it all by apologizing in front of the entire class.  Megan and I both agreed that was probably an awkward experience for all the other students who were forced to sit through it.

Episode #10 found the junior high in the midst of a prank war.  Who pranked Miss Bliss and ruined her ugly sweater!?  Everyone thought it was Screech and the class held a mock trial as opposed to just burning him at the stake.  Screech was acquitted and it turned out that he was actually framed by Miss Bliss, who wanted to teach the class about the jury system.  Neither Megan nor I cared much for this episode and we agreed that it was proof that Miss Bliss was a terrible teacher who didn’t really consider what being forced through a mock trial could do to a young student’s psyche.

Episode #11 was the silliest episode of all.  It turned out that Miss Bliss’s former student, Colleen Morton, was now a pop star named …. STEVIE!  Zack made a bet with everyone that he could get a kiss from Stevie.  He did get a kiss, but it was from Colleen.  It was only later that Zack figured out that Colleen and Stevie were one in the same!  Zack lost the bet, even though he was being honest about having been kissed by her.  So, I guess the lesson here is that Saved By The Bell took place in a post-truth world.

Episode #12 featured Zack pledging to some sort of weird ninth grade fraternity.  The frat demanded that Zack mistreat all of his friends and then, after Zack had lost everyone’s friendship, they revealed they were just playing a joke on him.  For some weird reason, Miss Bliss was the principal while Mr. Belding taught home room.  At first, everyone thought that Miss Bliss was both the perfect principal and the perfect teacher but then it turned out that Miss Bliss didn’t actually bother to get permission from the school board for any of the “good” things that she did and all of her solutions backfired.  TAKE THAT, MISS BLISS!

Finally, we ended things with the 13th and final episode of the Miss Bliss years.  Miss Bliss’s mentor showed up at the school and helped to teach her class.  His unorthodox methods were frowned upon by Mr. Belding.  Personally, I think Belding had a point but whatever.  The important thing is that Megan and I survived all 13 episodes.

Silk Stalkings (Tubi)

I decided to binge all 8 seasons of the stylish 90s crime show, Silk Stalkings.  This show also airs on one of the retro channels, ZLiving.  It was a stylish show about rich people doing bad things, often while undressed.  The first few seasons starred Rob Estes and Mitzi Kapture as Chris and Rita, two detectives who worked together to solve crimes and who generated endless amounts of sexual tension.

My sister Megan and I watched the pilot on Monday.  Chris and Rita investigated the murder of a model. Not surprisingly, the pilot was mostly about introducing Chris and Rita and establishing that they were attractive people who would be worth watching.  The pilot did a good job of just that.  Estes and Kapture had obvious chemistry from the start.  Even overly cutesy things — like calling each other “Sam” — were charming when they did it.  A good deal of time was devoted to Rita recovering from an aneurism, with gave the audiences a chance to see just how much Chris cared about his partner.  It was sweet, even if I have to agree with Rita that Chris was being a bit overprotective.  After the pilot, Megan and I watched two more episodes.  Chris and Rita investigate an old rich man who was shooting snuff films in his private sex dungeon and Rita came to terms with the tragic details of her father’s death.  And then, a rich car salesman was found floating in the ocean.  Fortunately, Chris and Rita were able to bring his very attractive killers to justice!

On Tuesday, we watched an episode in which Chris and Rita solved the murder of a wealthy (naturally) man who was killed on a golf course by an assailant who wielding a meat hook!  AGCK!  It was a grisly case but the important thing is that everyone involved was attractive.  Rita got shot towards the end of the episode.  She survived but Megan and I were still like, “Awwwwww!” when Chris got all worried about it.  This was followed by a fun episode in which Chris and Rita investigated the murder of a Congressman.  You might be surprised to learn that investigating the death of a politician involves talking to a lot of half-naked people. Chris and Rita (especially Chris) were up for the job!  This episode also featured a cute little subplot where Chris tried to help Rita deal with her insomnia.  Rita had a big poster that simply read, “ART!” in her bedroom.

The first episode that we watched on Wednesday featured Chris and Rita investigating the murder of a half-naked,rich woman.  This led to a scene in which they arrested a naked man who, standing in his hot tub, announced that “I heard you would need a semen sample.  I was just getting warmed up for you.”  Meanwhile, Chris reconnected with an ex-girlfriend who was now working as a stripper.  Reconnecting, in this case, meant spending a lot of time at the beach.  It was a fun episode.  The second episode found Chris and Rita investigating the murder of a sleazy tabloid publisher.  Of course, if this show had been made today, he would have just owned a clickbait factory and his death would have been live-streamed.  Chis was also upset that Rita had a date with a guy that she barely knew.  The date, of course, led to wild limo sex because seriously, what else are you going to do in a limo?

We got things started on Thursday with an episode about a decadent socialite who was drowned in her own pool.  Chris and Rita eventually discovered that the killer was a psycho named James who, ironically enough, also ended up dying in a pool.  Of course, James killed himself by jumping into the water while holding a sander.  We then watched an episode featuring Chris and Rita investigating a murder that had been committed by a bunch of frat boys.  Megan and I both agreed that frat boys were the worst!

The Steve Wilkos Show (Weekday Morning, Channel 33)

Hey, Steve Wilkos!  Giving lie detector tests and changing lives!  Good for you, Steve!  I watched your show on Wednesday morning because I was waking up and getting ready for my day and I was basically too busy to change the channel!  Get the Hell off my stage!

The Tribe (Pluto TV)

The Tribe is a British/New Zealand co-production that ran for five seasons in the last 90s and the early aughts.  It takes place in a future in which all of the adults have been killed by a mysterious virus, leaving behind only children and teenagers who have all formed “tribes,” and who are having to grow up in a world ruled by fear and anarchy.  A friend of mine has been recommending this show to me for a while.  One of my New Year’s resolutions was to finally check it out!

And that’s what I did.  On Saturday morning, around 2 a.m., I watched the first episode on Pluto.  It was pretty good.  It quickly set up the premise and introduced the characters.  Actually, it did quite a bit in just 25 minutes.  After meeting in an abandoned city, the main tribe took refuge in a mall.  Meanwhile, on the outside, a group of teenagers drove around in a cop car, the siren wailing ominously.  It was was an intriguing opening and, after watching the first episode, I decided that The Tribe would be one of the shows that I would binge over the course of 2022.

The Twilight Zone (Saturday and Sunday, SyFy)

I got a few episodes of SyFy’s annual Twilight Zone marathon.  On Saturday, I saw Burgess Meredith break his glasses.  I saw the one with the hitch-hiker who kept saying, “Going my way?”  And I saw one of my absolute favorite episodes, The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street.  On Sunday, the highlight included Twenty-Two (“Room for one more!”), Peter Falk playing Castro in The Mirror, The Hunt (in which a man realizes that only Hell would refuse to allow dogs), The Bard (in which Shakespeare met Burt Reynolds), and The Changing of the Guard with the great Donald Pleasence!

The Young and the Restless (Weekday mornings, CBS)

Because I had so much fun with Days of Our Lives on Tuesday, I decided to watch The Young and The Restless on Wednesday.  Unfortunately, the episode of Y&R that I saw was a bit dry, with a lot of scenes of people standing around and talking about a lawsuit.  It was kind of boring but at least everyone looked good!

Lisa’s Week In Television: 9/26/21 — 10/2/21


If it seems like I watched an excessive amount of old TV shows this week, that’s because I did.  While I was working this week, I kept the TV turned to the retro channels.  The only exception to that rule was on Friday when I watched three daytime dramas.  For the most part, these shows served as background noise while I was making plan for this year’s Horrorthon but, at the same time, I have to admit that I do kind of like occasionally watching the old TV shows.  I’m a history nerd and, at their best, those shows are like stepping into a time machine and seeing the way people used to dress, talk, and, for better or worse, think.

This week also saw the end of Big Brother, which means that I can now devote all of my time to horror films.  Yay!

With all that in mind, here’s my week in television:

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

With the Germans and the Italians holding a conference to determine their plans for invading England, it falls on Rene to discover their plans to send that information to the Resistance, via the use of a homing duck.  Yes, a duck.  There’s probably worse ways to do it, to be honest.  I know that the ducks in our neighborhood are pretty resilient.  Needless to say, Rene complained quite a bit but still did what he had to do.

Bachelor in Paradise (Tuesday Night, ABC)

Ivan had to leave the show because he snuck out of his room during lockdown and tried to see one of the future contestants.  This show certainly does have a lot of rules for something that is essentially just a second-rate knock-off of Paradise Hotel.

Bewitched (Weekday Afternoon, Antenna TV)

I watched two episodes of this classic sitcom while doing some work around the office on Tuesday.  Unfortunately, both episodes were from the Dick Sargent years.  (I prefer the episodes with Dick York’s hapless Darrin to the episodes that feature Dick Sargent flying into a rage every few minutes.)  The first episode features Sarena causing trouble, which was fun.  The second episode featured Endora casting a hex on Darrin, which was fun if just because Darrin was such a pain in the ass that he certainly deserved it.

Big Brother (24/7, Paramount Plus and CBS)

It’s over!  I wrote about the show and big finale over at the Big Brother Blog!

The Bold and the Beautiful (Weekday Afternoons, CBS)

Last year, when the COVID lockdowns first kicked in, I got sucked back into the world of the daytime dramas.  However, up until this week, it had been a few months since I had watched any of them.  I guess I just got bored with them.  That said, this Friday, I decided to check in with a few of them, just to see what was going on.

The Bold and the Beautiful remains my favorite, just because it’s so self-aware and intentionally over the top.  This Friday’s episode featured a lot of people having heated discussions and it was fun to watch.  The drama, the eye rollings, the flaring nostrils, the little smirks — Hell, I might have to start setting the DVR for these shows again!

CHiPs (Weekday Afternoon, Charge!)

I watched two episodes of this 70s cop show on Thursday.  The show itself was pretty bland but the California scenery was lovely and that opening theme music really gets stuck in your head.  They knew how to work a bassline in the 70s.

Cold Case (Weekday Afternoon, Start TV)

Remember this show?  Cold Case followed the adventures of Lily (Kathryn Morris), the deathly pale cold case detective who never seemed to wash her hair.  On Wednesday, I watched an episode in which Lily and the cold case squad investigated the murder of a woman who made a tape for a dating service shortly before her death.  As always, the show started off on an interesting note but then got unbearable once Lily and the gang started doing their thing.

Crossing Jordan (Weekday Afternoons, Start TV)

On this crime show, Jill Hennessy played Jordan, a coroner who investigated crimes for some reason.  This was one of those overly quirky crime shows that aired in the aughts, so naturally Jordan has a crew of odd co-workers and a potential boyfriend played by Jerry O’Connell.  Fortunately, Miguel Ferrer was also on the show, lending it all some much needed gravitas.

I watched two episodes on Wednesday.  In the first one, Jordan researched the darkest corners of the internet.  (GASP!)  It was interesting to watch, just because the episode was made before Twitter and Facebook really became things.  This was followed by an episode in which Jordan investigate the death of corporal who had gone AWOL from Afghanistan.  Crossing Jordan was always at its worst when it tried to be political.

Considering how annoying I found this show to be, both during its original run and in reruns, I’m kind of surprised I watched two episodes.  Was I just too lazy to change the channel?  It’s possible.

CSI: Miami (Weekday Mornings, Charge!)

I don’t care what anyone says.  Between David Caruso putting on the sunglasses and Emily Proctor’s Southern accent, CSI: Miami was the best of the various CSIs.  I watched two episodes on Thursday.  The first one dealt with a man who died at a race track and it was okay but kind of forgettable.  The second one dealt with the mysterious world of the internet and there’s nothing I love more than when CSI: Miami explores the dark web!  While the team explored the internet, Horatio protected his niece from a killer and did that thing where he delivered one-liners in an extremely serious voice.  It was fun!

Dennis The Menace (Weekday Afternoons, Antenna TV)

Dennis the Menace?  More like Dennis the sociopath!  I watched two episodes on Tuesday.  When Dennis wasn’t harassing Mr. Wilson, he was making everyone else’s life a living Hell.  GO AWAY, YOU LITTLE BRAT!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

Getting to discover old shows like this is one of the truly fun things about our annual horrorthon at TSL.

General Hospital (Weekday Afternoons, ABC)

Oh my God, Sonny might still be alive!  On Friday, I watched this show for the first time in months and I was immediately reminded of why I love General Hospital, despite the fact that I find the title to be misleading.  The show features nonstop drama, much of it revolving around gangsters named Sonny who know how to fake their own death.

Ghost Whisperer (Weekday Mornings, Start TV)

As I’ve written in the past, I love Ghost Whisperer!  The episode that I watched on Wednesday featured a ghost leading Melinda to a munitions dump that was full of unexploded bombs.  I don’t believe in ghosts but, if they did exist, I would hope they would be willing to confide in me as easily as they do Melinda.

I Dream of Jeannie (Weekday Afternoons, Antenna TV)

I watched two episodes of this old show on Tuesday, while I was doing some work around the office.  The first episode featured Jeannie’s sister trying to steal away Major Nelson.  The 2nd featured a con artist (played by Milton Berle) trying to outsmart Jeannie! Oh no!  The 2nd episode took place in Hawaii, which was nice.  I loved visiting Hawaii.

Hazel (Weekday Mornings, Antenna TV)

Hazel is an old sitcom about a live-in maid who insists on trying to run everyone’s life.  On Tuesday, I had the TV in the office tuned to Antenna TV and, as a result, two episodes of Hazel served as background noise while I worked.  In one episode, Hazel’s employer was convinced that the neighbors were interfering with his TV reception.  In the second episode, Hazel came to the defense of a friend who was accused of being a corporate spy.  I felt bad for Hazel, who apparently didn’t have much of a life outside of work.

Knight Rider (Weekday Afternoons, Charge!)

I’ve often heard of this old show but Thursday was the first time that I ever watched an episode.  In fact, I watched two episodes.  Youngish David Hasselhoff driving a car that talks in the voice of Mr. Feeney?  What’s not to love!?  Actually, to be honest, it seemed like the type of show that would get pretty boring once the novelty wore off.  The car was cool, though.  The first episode featured the Hoff and the car saving a building from detonation.  The second found the Hoff driving the car in a race and protecting a journalist.  In both cases, everything turned out for the best.

McHale’s Navy (Weekday Mornings, Antenna TV)

This was an old sitcom about a bunch of sailors in the Navy.  It was obviously made at a time when America was not at war because you wouldn’t trust any of these people to be able to handle a combat situation.  Ernest Borgnine played the McHale of the title.  I had the show on for background noise while I was doing some work around the office on Tuesday.  Antenna TV aired two episodes but I didn’t pay much attention to either one.  One featured a chimpanzee.  The other featured McHale trying to run a beauty contest.  Ernest Borgnine seemed to be having fun.

Medium (Weekday Afternoon, Start TV)

Medium was the serious version of Ghost Whisperer, starring Patricia Arquette instead of Jennifer Love Hewitt.  It will always be interesting to me that Patricia basically spent the first decade of this century starring in Medium and filming Boyhood on the weekends.  Anyway, Medium was always a bit too dour for me but Patricia Arquette and Jake Weber both gave good performance every week that the show aired.  It was a show for grown-ups, one that unfortunately aired when I was anything but.

Start TV always shows Medium after Ghost Whisperer, which makes it impossible not to compare the two shows.  On Wednesday, I watched an episode in which Patricia developed a sensitivity to light.  She started wearing sunglasses but whenever she put them on, everyone that she saw would have a number on their head that states how many days they have left to live.  AGCK!  Actually, by Medium standards, this was a fun episode.

Moone Boy (Sunday Night, PBS)

PBS’s airing of Moone Boy came to a touching end with two final episodes on Sunday.  The first featured Dessie trying to open a Catholic book shop.  It soon became popular with people of all religions, including Scientologists!  The second episode featured the death of Martin’s grandfather and the return of his grandfather’s imaginary friend, George Gershwin (played by Paul Rudd).  It was the a very, very sweet episode, one that took an honest but humorous look at aging, maturing, and death.  The final scene brought tears to my mismatched eyes,  What a good show!  I’m glad I got to see it.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

I didn’t really pay much attention to this episode but I’m pretty sure a dog ordered Granville to go on a rampage.  I’m a little bit worried about Granville, to be honest.  He seems to let things get to him.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

You can read my thoughts on the latest episode of Survivor here!

Talking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

Talking Dead was a bit bland this week, which was a shame considering how good the latest episode of The Walking Dead was.  For the record, the guests were superfan Yvette Nicole Brown and, via satellite, Lauren Ridloff.

That Girl (Weekday Afternoons, Antenna TV)

On Tuesday afternoon, I had the TV in the office tuned to Antenna TV, largely because I had a lot of work to do and retro sitcoms are often the perfect background noise.  Among the shows that aired were two episodes of That Girl, which is a show that I had heard of but never watched before.  Marlo Thomas plays Anne Marie, an actress.  I appreciated the fact that Anne and I share a middle name.

Anyway, I didn’t really pay much attention to the two episodes that aired.  I had a lot of work to get done.  The first episode featured Anne dealing with a potential audit from the IRS and it was nice to see that people in the 70s hated the IRS as much as I hate them right now.  The second episode featured Anne Marie trying to encourage a singer who was planning on becoming a nun.  In both cases, everything worked out for the best.

Three’s Company (Weekday Afternoons, Antenna TV)

I watched two episodes of this very 70s sitcom on Tuesday.  I should admit that I only had it on for background noise while I was finishing up some work so I didn’t pay much attention to it.  I’ve seen a few episodes of this show over the year and I’ve never really seen the appeal.  I’m just like, “Just explain what really happened and get on with your life!”

Anyway, the first episode features James Cromwell — yes, that James Cromwell — as a vice cop who thought Chrissy was a prostitute so he came back to the apartment to arrest her but Jack thought he was just a jerk so he punched him and then Cromwell tried to arrest everyone but then Mr. Roper said that Jack was gay so Cromwell let him go because it would be too embarrassing to admit that he got punched out by a gay guy.  God, that was exhausting.  This was followed by an episode where everyone thought the apparently asexual Mr. Roper was having an affair because every character on the show was an idiot.

Unforgettable (Weekday Afternoon, Start TV)

On this show, Poppy Montgomery played a detective who had the ability to remember every single thing she had ever seen or heard.  It was a really interesting premise and Poppy Montgomery was a good series lead but the show was never as interesting as it should have been.  The episode I watched on Wednesday featured Poppy and Dylan Walsh transporting a witness down to Florida.  It was a pretty basic show but Poppy and Dylan had an enjoyable chemistry.

The Walking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

This week’s episode was pretty good and I wrote about it here!

The Young and the Restless (Weekday Afternoons, CBS)

After having not watched the show for a month, I watched Friday’s episode.  There was a lot of talking.  Mariah and Tessa were debating whether or not start a family.  Victoria and Nick’s rivalry was threatening to ruin a wedding.  As usual, there were a lot of restless people on the show.  I enjoyed it.  I like watching attractive, rich people argue.

In conclusion …. actually, this post is already over 2,000 words long so we probably don’t need a conclusion.  It was a good week!