Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.7 “Ship of Ghouls”

Posted on March 29, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Vincent Price comes aboard for a special Halloween episode!

This is actually, the second time that I’ve reviewed this episode. I also watched and reviewed it back in 2021. I enjoyed it the first time that I watched it and my opinion remained the same the second time I watched it. Still, I’m glad that I rewatched the episode as opposed to trying to write a second review from memory. There were a few details that I had forgotten.

Anyway, it’s time for…. SHIP OF GHOULS!

Episode 2.7 “Ship of Ghouls”

(Originally aired on October 28th, 1978, dir by Roger Duchowny)

It’s time for the annual Halloween cruise and Captain Stubing is super excited because he has hired The Amazing Alonzo (Vincent Price) to provide the cruise’s entertainment. Alonzo is a master illusionist and hypnotist, who can trick people into seeing just about anything. The episode really doesn’t explain just how exactly Alonzo is able to hypnotize people by just saying a few words to them but no matter. This is The Love Boat and Vincent Price is …. well, he’s Vincent Price. Vincent comes across like he’s having the time of his life in this episode and, as such, we accept that Alonzo can cause a bunch of people to think that Gopher and Doc have been turned into two donkeys. We accept that he can fool the Captain into thinking that the ship’s pool has been turned into a giant ice cream sundae. We even accept that he can make Isaac’s head appear in a glass of beer. We accept all of it because it just feels wrong to get hung up on logic when Vincent Price is involved.

The Amazing Alonzo is having so much fun flirting with his elderly groupies and casting spells that his long-suffering fiancé, Ramona (Joan Blondell), dumps him and instead moves into the Captain’s quarters. At first, Alonzo is jealous of the Captain but he soon comes to realize that the Captain is not romantically interested in Ramona and is just letting her stay in his quarters because she needs some place to stay. Alonzo also discovers that he can no longer hypnotize people without Ramona’s support. At the big Halloween party, Alonzo freezes time and apologizes to Ramona. He also confesses to her that his real name is Wendell. They walk out of the ship’s ballroom, hand-in-hand. Yay!

Needless to say, Vincent Price was the highlight of this episode. However, as was always the case with The Love Boat, there were other passengers on the cruise.

For instance, nine year-old Bobby Diller (Charlie Aikman) is a habitual liar and prankster. His behavior may be bratty but that’s largely due to the fact that his parents (Gary Collins and Mary Ann Mobley) are getting back together after previously getting a divorce and he’s worried that they’re going to split up again. Fortunately, Bobby’s lying comes in handy when he spots Karen (Barbara Anderson) preparing to throw herself overboard. Bobby tells Karen that his mother committed suicide and that he’s never gotten over it. Karen changes her mind about committing suicide. Once Karen is safely back on deck, Bobby admits that he lied but then adds, “It’s the last lie I’ll ever tell!”

Why was Karen suicidal? Karen was a model until a car accident left her with a scar on her face. Karen is convinced that no one will ever find her to be beautiful again. Of course, Gopher and Doc both find her to be beautiful and they spend the entire cruise hitting on her and arguing over which one of them has the right to dance with her and have dinner with her. (As I’ve said in the past, The Love Boat really was a floating HR nightmare.) Karen, unfortunately, thinks that they’re just doing this as a favor to Karen’s best friend, cruise director Julie. Fortunately, Bobby’s lie convinces Karen that people can sincerely care about one another. Also, Karen realizes that she’s too good for either Gopher or Doc. Good for her!

This was a good episode. Vincent Price was a delight as always and Barbara Anderson was sympathetic Karen. All Halloween cruises should be as entertaining as The Love Boat‘s!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 3/19/23 — 3/25/23

Posted on March 25, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

To be honest, I feel as if I’ve already reviewed just about everything that I watched this week. For instance, I spent ten hours watching Dahmer on Netflix and then I posted a review here on the site. So, this week in television is going to pretty much be full of links. For that reason, I considered not doing a post for this week but what can I say? I’m a completist. I haven’t missed a week yet and I don’t want to start.

Anyway, here’s what I watched this week!

Accused (Tuesday Night, FOX)

I started to watch Accused this week but as soon as I saw that dusty courtroom with the big Texas flag hanging over the door and the title cared announced that this was “Lubbock, Texas,” I realized that I probably wasn’t going to make it through the entire episode. Then, the accused was escorted into the courtroom by some old guy wearing a string tie and I said, “Nope,” and stopped watching. I’ve been told by some folks on Twitter that this week was actually a good episode but I don’t care. There were too many dumb clichés in the first three minutes for me to devote another 44 minutes of my life to the episode.

American Idol (Sunday Night, ABC)

Is it Hollywood week, yet!? I know it’s not any different from any other season but the auditions just seem to be going on forever!

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

Sex week turned out to be a disaster, as I think we all knew it would. After announcing that he would not be having sex with the three remaining bachelorettes, Zach went on to have sex with Gabi and then decided it would be a good idea to tell Kaity all about it …. DURING THIER DATE! Meanwhile, Ariel — who was the most accepting of Zach’s decision not have sex with any of three finalists — was sent home. The Fantasy Suite pretty much exists to create drama and that’s what it did this week. That said, Zach’s really not interesting enough for this season to be the emotional rollercoaster that it’s supposed to be. Boring Guy Turns Out To Be A Jerk …. wow, that’s a shock.

Dahmer (Netflix)

As a part of my preparation for covering the Emmys in another few months, I watched all ten episodes of Dahmer this week. I reviewed the miniseries here.

Farmer Wants A Wife (Wednesday, FOX)

Hey, it’s the State Fair of Texas! And a rodeo! Look at everyone having fun! Take that, Bachelor!

Half Nelson (YouTube)

I reviewed the pilot for this Joe Pesci detective show on Friday.

King of the Hill (FX)

On Wednesday, I watched two episodes of King of the Hill. The first was one of my favorites, featuring Minh, Peggy, and Nancy all running for a seat on the school board. The second one featured Bobby going to military school and discovering that it wasn’t quite as strict as his grandfather claimed it would be. King of the Hill always makes me smile.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

Law & Order returned with a new episode, in which the murder of a journalist was investigated. The story was obviously based on a recent murder that happened out in Las Vegas. The real-life story is pretty interesting but the Law & Order version wasn’t. The scenes with Cosgrove and Shaw interrogating suspects and investigating the crime often felt like self-parody. Sam Waterston still has his natural gravitas but it’s hard not to feel that both he and McCoy have earned the right to retire.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I reviewed The Love Boat here.

Survivor (Wednesday, CBS)

I reviewed Survivor here!

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.6 “Mike and Ike / The Witness / The Kissing Bandit”

Posted on March 22, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, I learned that there’s no way to escape the Bradys!

Episode 2.6 “Mike and Ike / The Witness / The Kissing Bandit”

(Dir by Allen Baron and Roger Duchowny, originally aired on October 21st, 1978)

This week, The Love Boat continued to be a floating HR nightmare as Newton Weems (a very young Billy Crytsal) donned a mask and spent his nights running around the ship and kissing every single woman that he came across. Fortunately, Newton’s such a fantastic kisser that no one demands that the police be alerted. Unfortunately, with every woman on board eager to get kissed, that means that no one is reacting to the lame flirtations of Doc, Gopher, and the Captain. The Captain decides that the best way catch the Kissing Bandit would be to use Julie as a decoy. If I was Julie, I would point out how reasonable I was about the Captain’s uncle and demand more money. Instead, Julie allows herself to be kissed and soon, she’s in love with the Kissing Bandit as well.

However, Newton eventually realizes that he’s actually in love with another passenger, Roberta (Laurie Walters), and that he doesn’t have to wear a mask to be romantic. Though this disappoints his biggest fans (played by Nancy Kulp, Pat Carroll, and Sharon Acker), it does make the rest of the crew happy. It seems like the Captain should be worrying more about running the ship than hitting on every woman who comes aboard but I guess big luxury liners pretty much run themselves.

While this was going on, Isaac was reconnecting with his old friends, Lenore (Marilyn McCoo) and Mike (Billy Davis, Jr.). When they were younger, they used to perform on street corners for spare change. Now, Mike is an executive vice president and he’s so work-obsessed and stuffy that his own son (Todd Bridges) thinks that his father doesn’t love him! Fortunately, things work out in the end. Mike realizes that there are things more important than business. Ted Lange gets to show off his dance moves, though it’s hard to forget that Isaac once accused another passenger of being a sell-out for doing the same thing.

Finally, Frank McLean (Robert Reed) is taking a cruise so that he can avoid testifying in a murder trial. He is spotted by Suzanne (Toni Tennille), who knows Frank from the old neighborhood. At first, Frank denies even being from New York but, eventually, he tells Suzanne his story. Suzanne falls for Frank but she has a secret of her own. By Love Boat standards, this story is fairly dramatic but it ultimately fails because there’s not a hint of chemistry between Reed and Tennille. In fact, Robert Reed looks even more miserable after he falls in love than he did before.

On a personal note, I just can’t escape The Brady Bunch, can I? Last week, even as I was finishing up The Brady Bunch Hour, Robert Reed showed up on Fantasy Island. This week, Eve Plumb went to the island while Robert Reed boarded the ship. There’s just no way to escape those Bradys!

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.5 “Julie’s Aunt/Where Is It Written?/The Big Deal”

Posted on March 15, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Things get a bit icky this week. Ugh!

Episode 2.5 “Julie’s Aunt/Where Is It Written?/The Big Deal”

(Dir by Allen Baron, originally aired on October 14th, 1978)

How icky can one cruise get?

Well, consider this. On this week’s episode of The Love Boat, Captain Stubing’s uncle (Red Buttons) is a passenger on the boat. Uncle Cyrus decides that he likes Julie. How does he express how much he likes Julie? He invites her to his cabin and then lunges at her and starts kissing her. Julie runs out of the cabin and Uncle Cyrus chases her through the corridors of the boat. Once Julie does get away from him, she tells Doc and Gopher about what happened. Doc and Gopher both think that it’s funny.

(Uhmm, guys, this isn’t some old guy with a crush. This is someone who invited the cruise director to his cabin …. AND ATTACKED HER!)

Everyone agrees that Julie should just try to avoid Cyrus and that she should not tell the Captain about what happened. Unfortunately, because Uncle Cyrus told the Captain about how much he enjoys Julie’s company, Stubing insists that Julie spend as much time as possible with Uncle Cyrus. Every time that Julie goes down to his cabin, Cyrus grabs her and starts kissing her. Scene after scene, Julie has to push Cyrus off of her so that she can escape, screaming, into the hallway.

Finally, realizing that she can’t go on like this, Julie realizes that she has to do something, even if both Doc Bricker and Gopher refuse to take the situation seriously. Out of the three choice below, which do you think she goes with?

Call the police
Tell Captain Stubing and demand that he call the police
Have Gopher dress up like a woman and pretend to be a member of the police

If you picked number three, you could have been a writer for The Love Boat!

Ugh! I hated everything about this storyline!

I wasn’t a fan of the other two storylines as well. The first featured Hope Lange as Sandra Newberry, the wife of publisher Alfred Newberry (Gene Barry). She is upset to discover that Alfred has invited a Norman Maileresque writer named Mark Littlejohn (Richard Mulligan) to accompany them on the cruise. Alfred wants Mark to hurry up and finish the final chapter of his autobiography. Make wants to steal Sandra away. In the end, Alfred and Mark get into a fight. They’re too clumsy to actually hit each other but they do manage to knock out Captain Stubing. Again, you would think that this would be the sort of thing that would eventually involve the police but instead Stubing just accepts a payment that will come from the royalties of Mark’s book. Whatever. Go deal with your uncle, Captain.

Finally, Martin Scott (Allen Ludden) is a businessman who is selling his business to Brad Collins (Sam Groom). Martin’s daughter, Allison (Mackenzie Phillips), feels like she has to date Brad even though she’s actually in love with a musician named Jim Warren (Erik Estrada). It was hard not to feel that, intentionally or not, Martin was basically pimping out his daughter. Again, it was just icky.

This was not a fun cruise. Hopefully, next week will be better.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.4 “The Man Who Loved Women / A Different Girl / Oh, My Aching Brother”

Posted on March 8, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Come aboard!

Episode 2.4 “The Man Who Loved Women / A Different Girl / Oh, My Aching Brother”

(Dir by Allen Baron, originally aired on September 30th, 1978)

This week’s cruise is all about deception …. and love!

For instance, Joe (Marty Ingels) and Harold Nash (Sonny Bono) are two brothers who thrive on deception. Harold specializes in pretending to get injured. Joe specializes in threatening to sue until the brothers get paid off. Apparently, it’s a scheme that works well for them, though Joe seems to be a lot more enthusiastic about it than Harold. In fact, Harold seems to be a nice guy who mostly just wants to enjoy the cruise and flirt with another passenger, Rita (Judy Landers). Still, Joe insists that Harold pretend to hurt his back so Harold takes a dramatic fall on the shuffleboard course.

Of course, the crew can spot a fake injury from miles away. For once, Doc Bricker actually does his job and announces that, despite all of his yelling and groaning, there does not appear to be anything wrong with Harold’s back. Still, if Harold goes through the entire cruise without walking, the Pacific Princess will probably pay a settlement. Joe’s happy about that. Harold’s unhappy because he wants to get up and walk over to Rita’s cabin. In the end, it is Harold’s love for Rita that defeats the scheme. When he sees Rita actually trip and take a fall, Harold can’t stop himself from jumping out of his wheelchair to help her. Awwwwwww!

This storyline was dumb but kind of sweet. Sonny Bono was not a particularly good actor but there was something rather genuine about his chemistry with Judy Landers.

Meanwhile, the Captain Stubing’s godson, Dave Stanton (Grant Goodeve), is taking the cruise with his wife, Laura (Bess Armstrong). Though they’ve been married for two years, they are only now getting to take their honeymoon. (Dave was in the army and Laura was caring for her terminally ill mother.) During the trip, they discover that they’ve both changed over the past two years. Laura’s more independent now. Plus, she had an affair while Dave was gone. Dave gets pretty upset but Captain Stubing asks Dave if he can really say that he’s never cheated on Laura. Dave admits that he cheated on her too. Now that they know that they’re both cheaters, Dave and Laura’s marriage is strong than ever!

This storyline was defeated by the fact that neither Dave nor Laura were particularly sympathetic characters. At one point, Dave actually says that his cheating was different from Laura’s cheating because he’s a guy and she’s a woman. AGCK! Probably the most interesting part of this story is that it gave Stubing a chance to talk about why his own marriage fell apart. This show has often hinted that there is a lot of darkness and trauma in Stubing’s past and Gavin MacLeod always brings a lot of sincerity to the scenes where the captain admits that he has regrets.

Finally, Charlotte (Cathryn Damon), Bonnie (Jo Ann Pflug), and Anita (Brett Sommers) are three divorcees who take the cruise together. All three of them end up meeting a man. Charlotte meets a man named Alvin, who she decides to call him by his middle name, “Cornelius.” Bonnie meets a man who she calls Vinny. Anita meets a man who she calls by his last name, “McNair.” What they don’t know is that all of them have met the same man, Alvin Cornelius McNair (David Doyle). Alvin goes out with all three of the women but he starts to feel guilty when he realizes that they’re all cabinmates. However, Charlotte, Bonnie, and Anita tell him that it doesn’t matter to them because Alvin was always honest with them and didn’t try to manipulate any of them. Awwwww! I liked this story. Damon, Pflug, and Sommers were believable as old friends and Doyle was likable as Alvin.

This was actually a pretty enjoyable episode. It may not have been perfect but it was a pleasant trip.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/26/23 — 3/4/23

Posted on March 4, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I was finally able to get caught up on some of my shows this week. Here some thoughts on what I watched.

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

I’m kind of worried. There’s so much about this show that works but I worry that it’s going to lose sight of all of those things by getting bogged down with this whole Charter school subplot. This week was great when Jacob was freaking out over the mural and when Janine and Gregory were trying to work up the courage to tell Maurice about what happened at the convention. (And I loved Maurice’s reaction to the news.) But the Charter school stuff is such a drag! It’s the same sort of thing that ultimately kept Parks and Rec from being as good as it could have been.

American Idol (Sunday Night, ABC)

I watched the two latest episodes of American Idol on Hulu on Monday. It’s always a bit weird to me when I see the newest episodes of the show and I see how positive and friendly the judges are. Obviously, times have changed and I guess you couldn’t really get away with Simon and Randy laughing at someone for having a bad voice nowadays. Today, old school American Idol would probably be seen as bullying. I’m not necessarily saying that the show should go back to its old style. To be honest, I always hated it whenever someone who was obviously developmentally challenged was brought in to audition just so the show could try to score a few mean-spirited laughs off of them. Still, the upbeat atmosphere of the current version of the show feels a bit forced at times.

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

I watched the last three or four episodes this week. They all kind of blended together but I’m all caught up now. Zach is not particularly interesting but I did enjoy seeing London. If I don’t seem like I’m really into this season …. well, I’m not. To be honest, I kind of feel like maybe this franchise needs to either take a longer break between seasons or change up the format a bit. When the show’s bachelor or bachelorette is interesting, it’s fine if the season itself is a bit predictable. But when you got someone like Zach, it becomes a lot harder to overlook just how artificial this entire show is.

The Brady Bunch Hour (YouTube)

I’m nearly done with The Brady Bunch Hour and, as much as I make fun of this show, I am going to miss it. You can read this week’s review here!

City Guys (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched and wrote up reviews for several hours worth of City Guys. As such, I won’t have to watch the show again until June. Yay! Read this week’s review by clicking here!

Ghosts (Thursday Night, CBS)

I got caught up on the last four episodes of Ghosts this morning and I have to say, it remains a surprisingly fun show. Depending on what happens with all that charter school nonsense, there’s a chance that Ghosts could replace Abbott Elementary as the best sitcom to currently air on network television.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

Love, exciting and new! You can read this week’s review here!

My Lover, My Killer (Netflix)

This is a British true crime series about women and men who were killed by their lovers. I watched two episodes on Wednesday morning. I fell asleep while watching the third episode, not because it was boring but just because it was three in the morning. I’m pretty sure I had a bad dream or two as a result of watching this before dozing off.

Night Court (Tuesday Night, NBC)

This week, Abby’s mother dropped by the court and Abby, as usual, reacted in a totally unprofessional way. There is a part of me that really wants to this show to improve, just because I do like Melissa Rauch and John Larroquette can get laughs out of even the weakest of lines. But there’s just a blandness at the heart of Night Court. Even writing up these very brief reviews, I sometimes struggle to really come up with anything to say about the show. It’s neither great nor terrible. It’s just kind of there.

The SAG Awards (Sunday Night, YouTube)

This year, the SAG Awards were broadcast on YouTube, which I think is probably a sign of things to come. It might not happen for a few years but, eventually, the Oscars are going to be an exclusively streaming event as well. I’ve always assumed that the inevitable move to a streaming platform would improve the Oscars but, to be honest, the SAG Awards on YouTube were just as bland as the SAG Awards on television so who knows?

I was a little bit surprised at how completely Everything Everywhere All At Once swept the awards. I was expecting the film to win Best Ensemble but I was certainly not expecting Jamie Lee Curtis to beat Angela Bassett for the Supporting Actress award. Other than that, the SAG Awards were most memorable for Fran Drescher announcing that SAG is apparently going to save the world. Good for them!

(Actually, as I watched Fran Descher’s speech, I suddenly remembered that she lobbied to be appointed to the Senate after Hillary Clinton become Secretary of State. U.S. Sen. Drescher? Actually, that’s kind of a fun idea.)

South Park (Wednesday Night, Comedy Central)

I’m happy to say that I’m now caught up on the latest season of South Park. “We want our privacy!”

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

Yay! Survivor’s back! I wrote about the premiere of the 44th season over at the Reality TV Chat Blog!

The Weather (Thursday Night, Every Channel in North Texas)

On Thursday, North Texas got hit by a huge thunderstorm and there were rumors of tornadoes in the area. The local weather people were overjoyed to have an excuse to interrupt regularly scheduled programming. For an hour or two, they went out of their way to try to terrify anyone watching. “We think we may have spotted some tornadic activity!” Fortunately, North Texas survived but you better believe these folks will be patting themselves on the back for at least the rest of the month.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.3 “Rocky/Julie’s Dilemma/Who’s Who?”

Posted on March 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Julie’s parents set sail on The Love Boat!

Episode 2.3 “Rocky/Julie’s Dilemma/Who’s Who?”

(Dir by Allen Baron and Roger Duchowny, originally aired on September 23rd, 1978)

After last week’s hurricane and hostage situation, things calm down a bit for this week’s episode of The Love Boat.

Julie is super-excited because her parents, Bill (Norman Fell) and Martha (Betty Garrett), are going to be on this cruise. Her parents, meanwhile, are only slightly excited about seeing where Julie works and getting to see all of the members of the crew. They would perhaps be more excited if not for the fact that they’re planning on getting a divorce as soon as the cruise is over. They haven’t told Julie, of course. In fact, they tell Captain Stubing before they tell Julie. Why would they tell someone whom they’ve only know for ten minutes before they would tell their own daughter? What awful parents!

When they do eventually tell Julie, she has an emotional breakdown and runs through the corridors of the ship, sobbing. Listen, I’ve been there. When my parents told me that they were getting divorced, I had a difficult time with it as well. Of course, I was twelve years old, whereas Julie is in her late 20s. Still, it’s never easy. Fortunately, Julie realizes that her parents still love each other so she just sets them up with different people on the boat so that they can get jealous and fall back in love. And it works! Julie’s parents get back together….

Which is nice, I guess. I mean, one doesn’t watch The Love Boat because one wants to see a realistic story about the complexities of love and marriage. Still, the show made it look so simple that it got on my nerves. It’s not that simple and any actual child of divorce can tell you that. Again, it’s The Love Boat so perhaps I shouldn’t judge too harshly but I would have had so much more respect for the show if Bill and Martha had told Julie that they were still getting a divorce at the end of the cruise. It would have been a lot more honest than presenting a story where a marriage can be saved by wishful thinking.

While Julie was trying to save her parent’s marriage and prevent several years of awkward holidays, a young girl named Rocky (Melissa Gilbert) was developing her first crush on a boy named Norman (Jimmy Baio). It was actually a sweet little story and both Melissa Gilbert and Jimmy Baio gave likable performances. When Rocky learned that her family would be moving after the cruise, she was upset until she learned that their new home would be in El Paso, which was also where Norman and his family lived. Again, it was simple but sweet. And it went along well with the divorce storyline. While one relationship nearly ended, another began.

Finally, in the silliest story of the week, TV network censor Pat (Dody Goodman) boards the ship and is told that she will be sharing a cabin with Marion Atkins. That’s fine with Pat. Her main concern is making sure that nothing shocking or sordid happens on the cruise. However, it turns out that Marion Atkins (played by James Coco) is actually a guy! Fortunately, Marion turns out to be just as puritanical as Pat. He even brings a bunch of pamphlets on chastity with him for the cruise. Pat and Marion first meet while wandering around the ship and they fall very chastely in love. Since their morals forbid them from following each other to their cabin, they somehow manage to go nearly the entire cruise without realizing that they are living together. When they do realize that they’re cabinmates, they resolve to get married as soon as the boat docks. This whole story was just incredibly dumb and not in a fun way either. Obviously, The Love Boat was taking a swipe at the same network censors who probably insisted that the show be relatively discreet about what was going on behind the closed doors of the ship’s cabins. But Pat and Marion were both so incredibly clueless that it was hard to care about them one way or the other.

This was a bit of uneven episode but, in the end, the boat still looked like a fun place on which to hang out and work. And really, that’s the important thing.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/19/23 — 2/25/23

Posted on February 25, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

With this being the week of Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday, I didn’t watch much but I did watch some. And here are my thoughts!

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

PESCA …. PESCA …. PESCA …. I’m not really a fan of the whole “the charter school is coming for us!” storyline but I do love the Gregory/Janine storyline. Some of Tyler James Williams’s line deliveries made me laugh so hard that I nearly fell out of my chair while watching this week’s episode.

Animal Control (Thursday Night, FOX)

I like Joel McHale and I really like animals so I was hoping that I would really, really like this new sitcom but …. eh. The first two episodes just didn’t work for me. As tired as I am of the whole mockumentary format, I do kind of feel that maybe that was the approach that should have been taken with Animal Control. Right now, the show just feels a bit forced and awkward and the frequent lowbrow humor feels cheap. Despite the presence of McHale, this is definitely not Community. I did laugh when the weasel set that guy’s house on fire, though.

The Brady Bunch Hour (YouTube)

I wrote about The Brady Bunch Hour here!

California Dreams (YouTube)

Here’s this week’s review.

City Guys (Tubi)

Here’s this week’s review!

Fantasy Island (Tubi)

Here’s this week’s review!

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

I watched last week’s episode of Law & Order on Monday night. It dealt with a shooting at a nightclub. The shooter was stalking his ex-girlfriend but the majority of the episode dealt with the cop who responded to the 911 call and who froze and sat in his police car for 3 minutes before entering the club. Obviously, this was meant to remind the viewers of both the cowardly deputy at the Parkland shooting and the cops who stayed outside of the classroom in Uvalde. The show had sympathy for the cowardly cop. I did not, just like I didn’t have any sympathy for Scott Israel’s deputies. This was another episode that ended with Price getting his conviction but still getting punched outside the court because all of the bad publicity led to the cowardly cop committing suicide. Again, the show attempted to put the blame on the tabloid press. Myself, I put the blame on the cop who let others die.

As for this week’s episode, it dealt with race as Detective Shaw filed a report on two cops who profiled him at a crime scene while the show’s defendant was a real estate guy who was spreading rumors about mostly black criminals in order to run down property values. This was one of those episodes where the person on trial was definitely a bad guy and he was probably guilty but I still didn’t think Price proved the case beyond a reasonable doubt. I think the Law & Order revival would benefit from occasionally admitting that even a good prosecutor can lose a weak case. It would make the show a bit more realistic. At this point, Price is apparently the greatest prosecutor who has ever lived because he has a 99% success rate despite the majority of his cases being noticeably weak.

What’s interesting is that, after basically spending a season and a half as a self-righteous loose cannon who did things like prosecute a pharmaceutical firm just to get revenge for his brother’s unrelated death, Price is now being portrayed as being a pragmatist while the cops are now the social justice warriors. Of course, who knows? The next episode could find Price once again tilting at windmills and Cosgrove once again acting like a reactionary. Narrative consistency is not one of this show’s strengths.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Night Court (Tuesday Night, NBC)

When Abby’s train is delayed, she annoys all of the other passengers with her upbeat personality. I have no idea to whom this show is meant to appeal. The only reason I watched it is because I needed to have something in the background for thirty minutes while I did some dusting.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.1 and 2.2 Marooned / The Search / Issac’s Holiday: Parts 1 & 2

Posted on February 22, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the second season begins with a super-sized episode!

Episodes 2.1 & 2.2 “Marooned / The Search / Issac’s Holiday”

(Dir by Paul Stanley, originally aired on September 16th, 1978)

The second season of The Love Boat started with double-sized episode, promising twice the romance, twice the comedy, and twice the running time!

(Subsequently, this episode was split in two for syndication, hence the double numbering.)

Among the passengers on this cruise is none other than Isaac Washington (Ted Lange)! The Love Boat’s iconic bartender has decided to spend his vacation where he works and he’s bought a ticket to sail on the Pacific Princess. It might seem strange to want to spend your vacation at the office but in Isaac’s case, I can see the appeal. As we saw during the first season, no one works harder than Isaac. He somehow always manages to be behind every single bar on the ship and it often appears that he’s the only bartender on the boat! To top it off, he’s always on call. He’s earned a vacation and he’s earned the right to be served for once. From the minute Isaac boards the boat, he’s playfully asking the crew to do things for him and none of them mind because he’s their friend Isaac. One of the key reasons why The Love Boat worked was that the friendships between the members of the crew felt very real. As such, there’s never any doubt that Isaac would want to spend his vacation with Gopher, Doc, and Julie.

(Interestingly enough, the Captain doesn’t seem to realize that Isaac’s on the boat until Isaac takes his seat at the captain’s table.)

Of course, there are some problems with Isaac’s vacation. Isaac quickly notices that the substitute bartender, Wally (played by Norm Crosby), is a bit sullen and not very knowledgeable about his drinks. As well, Isaac has lied to a passenger named Mara (Lola Falana), telling her that he’s a wealthy race car driver. Bitter old Wally just can’t wait to tell Mara the truth.

Even worse, when Captain Stubing goes to visit a nearby island, Deputy Captain Cunningham (Dick Martin) is left in charge and he quickly proves himself to be thoroughly incompetent. (The show makes a point of assuring viewers that Cunningham actually works for a different cruise line and is just training on the Pacific Princess.) Cunningham ignores the news that a hurricane is on the way. When the hurricane hits, it’s falls on Isaac to take charge and make sure the passengers are safe. Of course, to do this, he has to admit that he’s not a race car driver. He’s just a bartender who, in a just world, would probably be a captain.

Meanwhile, Stubing, Doc, Gopher, Julie, and a group of passengers (Avery Schreiber, Barbi Benton, Edie Adams, and Audra Lindley) are all being held captive on that nearby island. Their captor is an eccentric hermit named David Crothers (played by John Astin, who was often cast as eccentric hermits). David has a gun, one that later turns out to be full of not bullets but dirt. Unfortunately, the hurricane that threatens the Pacific Princess also maroons everyone else on the island and they have to wait for someone to rescue them. Injured by a falling tree, Gopher spends his time deliriously speaking to imaginary women in foreign accents. Doc, for once, actually gets to do some medical stuff and assures everyone that Gopher will be fine. Interestingly enough, no one seems to be that worried about being captured by a crazed hermit. Perhaps that’s because John Astin is just too naturally friendly to be viewed as a threat.

Finally, Jeannie Carter (Donna Mills) is on the boat because she’s been told that one of the passengers is her long-lost mother. Soap opera actor Mike Adler (David Birney) offers Jeannie the moral and emotional (and romantic) support to confront the woman but the woman (Laraine Day) turns out to be Mike’s mother as well! Agck!

The 2nd season premiers, with its mix of melodrama, broad comedy, romance, and hurricane-strength winds, is pretty much exactly what most viewers would want out of a show like The Love Boat. Isaac gets to save the day while John Astin hams it up and David Birney, Donna Milles, and Laraine Day wring every emotion that they can out of their soap opera-style storyline. It’s a fun and undemanding show, one that gets by on its breezy style and the likable chemistry between the cast.

This episode is also important because it was the second episode (after the first season’s supersized episode) in which the opening credits featured video images of the guest stars as well as their names. This would continue in every subsequent episode and eventually become of the show’s trademarks.

Next week: Julie’s parents board the boat!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/12/23 — 2/18/23

Posted on February 18, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week I decided to get a head start on my retro television reviews and I ended up watching and writing up reviews for three months worth of Hang Time and California Dreams. I am exhausted and I have dueling theme songs stuck in my head.

Here are some thoughts:

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

“Fire!” This week’s episode of Abbott Elementary was a classic and, after two somewhat uneven episodes, a return to form. I loved Ava’s response to the fire. I would have done the same. “Wait, you went to a spa?” Well, where else should she have gone?

Accused (Tuesday Night, FOX)

This week, the accused was a father-turned-vigilante, on trial for the murder of a man who molested his daughter. The idea had the potential to be interesting but the execution was flat. The episode’s big guest star was Malcolm-Jamal Warner, who gave a credible performance but who was also a bit on the dull side.

California Dreams (YouTube)

I watched six hours of California Dreams this weekend. I will never get the theme song out of my head.

The Devil Next Door (Netflix)

This is a Netflix docuseries about John Demjanjuk, a retired auto worker in Detroit who was accused of being Ivan the Terrible, a notorious Nazi concentration camp guard. While Demjanjuk was indeed a former camp guard, there’s still some debate over whether he was also Ivan The Terrible. It was a fascinating and disturbing story. With Demjanjuk now dead, we’ll probably never know for sure whether or not he was Ivan but that doesn’t change the fact that this rather mild-looking elderly man was a participant in the most monstrous crimes in history.

Fantasy Island (Tubi)

I reviewed Fantasy Island here!

Hang Time (YouTube)

I watched and wrote up reviews for 15 hours worth of Hang Time episodes this week. I’m exhausted but, on the plus side, I won’t have to watch the show again until June.

The Love Boat (Paramount+)

I wrote up the first season finale of The Love Boat here!

Night Court (Tuesday, NBC)

In this week’s episode, a bunch of children led a protest in Abbie’s courtroom. My goodness, it was truly an embarrassing episode. Night Court doesn’t know if it wants to be goofy or edgy and the lack of focus is really becoming an issue.

Night Music (YouTube)

This was a live music program from the 80s. The episode that I watched on Friday night featured Stevie Ray Vaughn, Van Dyke Parks, and David Sanborn. The music was great!

The Super Bowl (Sunday Night, FOX)

I watched it for the commercials, as the game didn’t really interest me and I didn’t have any real feelings about either one of the two teams playing. However, I will say that everyone that I know is pretty happy that the Eagles lost. And while I don’t have anything against the Eagles as a group of individual athletes, I do kind of resent the Philadelphia Parking Authority, as a result of having watched too many episodes of Parking Wars.

The Watchers (Netflix)

I watched the first four episodes of this Netflix miniseries on Tuesday night. The mystery was intriguing but, like so many Ryan Murphy-produced programs, it felt like there was way too much padding and I kind of started to lose interest in it all as the story progressed. Fortunately, both Naomi Watts and Bobby Cannavale were well-cast.