On tonight’s episode of Ghost Story, Angie Dickinson plays a widow who is haunted by the ghost of her late husband’s Doberman. Agck! I’m scared enough of real Dobermans without having to deal with one that is undead!
This episode originally aired on December 15th, 1972.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
Come aboard, we’re expecting you….
The Love Boat 1.5 “The Joker Is Mild / Take My Granddaughter, Please / First Time Out”
(Dir by Richard Kinon and Alan Rafkin, originally aired on October 29th, 1977)
This week’s cruise is all about remaining true to yourself!
For instance, Julie makes what appears to be a big mistake when she agrees to let a washed-up comic named Barry Keys (Phil Foster) do a show in the ship’s lounge. Throughout the cruise, Barry gets on everyone’s nerves with his old-fashioned jokes and his vaudeville stylings. Captain Stubing gives Julie an annoyed look whenever Barry starts to speak. Julie knows that her career is on the line but she made a promise. And Barry, it turns out, know what he’s doing. When it comes time for his performance, he asks for a stool so that he can sit in the middle of the stage and talk about the generation gap. (“Let’s rap, as the kids say,” Barry says.) Hooray! Barry has revived his career and Julie still has a job.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Warner (Ruth Gordon) is determined to find a husband for her granddaughter, Shirley (Patty Duke, who spends the entire episode looking as if she’s wondering how she could go from winning an Oscar to this). Shirley would like to hook up with the pleasantly bland Dave King (played by Tab Hunter). Mrs. Warner wants her to go out with Dr. Bricker! In the end, Shirley stands up for herself, as any single 30 year-old should. (To be honest, I thought Patty Duke’s character was closer to 40 but that’s mostly the fault of whoever in the costume department decided to make her wear some of the least flattering outfits available.) It’s all for the best. Dave is a nice guy and Doc has an exam room full of pornographic magazines to take care of.
Finally, a group of college students board the ship with one mission in mind. They want their friend Dan (Robert Hegyes, who has a truly impressive head of hair) to lose his virginity. Dan, it turns out, is not only shy but he also has no idea how to talk to women. Fortunately, her runs into Marcia Brady (Maureen McCormick) and it turns out that Marica likes shy, socially awkward guys with a lot of hair. Okay, technically Maureen is playing Barbara Holmes but seriously, we all know that Barbara was actually Marcia.
This was a majorly uneven episode. Barry’s revised act didn’t seem any funnier than his old stuff and it was kind of hard to sympathize with Shirley and her inability to make her own decisions. That said, Maureen McCormick and Robert Hegyes made for a cute couple and their storyline was the most satisfying of the episode. Personally, I think this episode would have worked better if Ruth Gordon had played Maureen McCormick’s grandmother as opposed to Patty Duke’s. McCormick was young enough that it would have been a bit less pathetic for her to be bossed around by her grandmother and one can imagine how Ruth Gordon would have reacted to McCormick picking hairy Dan over a doctor.
Oh well! The important thing is that everything worked out in the end and love won’t hurt anymore.
On tonight’s episode of Ghost Story, Lynn Loring plays Janet. Janet has inherited her mother’s house. (Her mother died in a mental hospital.) Janet is determined to fix up the house and her cousins (Rip Torn and Geraldine Page) are more than happy to help! Or are they?
This is a pretty good episode, largely due to the fact that Rip Torn and Geraldine Page play the cousins. Torn and Page were married at the time and they both appear to be having a blast playing their odd roles. This episode reminds me a bit of Jess Franco’s A Virgin Among The Living Dead. It originally aired on December 8th, 1972.
Enjoy!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1996. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
Smiles, everyone, smiles! It’s time for another trip to Fantasy Island, the most dramatic mystical island this side of Lost! This week, we have three fantasies and Tattoo tries to grow mustache.
Episode 1.5 “Lady of the Evening/The Racer”
(Directed by Don Weis, originally aired on February 25th, 1978)
This episode begins with the bell ringing and Tattoo yelling that the plane is arriving. Before Mr. Roarke and Tattoo drive off to greet the plane, Mr. Roarke tells Tattoo to wash his face because he has what appears to be a smudge on his upper lip. Tattoo explains that he’s growing a mustache because all of the world’s great lovers (including, Tattoo says, Burt Reynolds) have mustaches. Tattoo’s effort to grow a mustache is a running joke through this episode of Fantasy Island. Needless to say, it doesn’t go well for him. Eventually, he resorts to using shoe polish. By the end of the episode, Tattoo finally washes his face and presumably returns to doing whatever it is that he actually does on the island.
As for the fantasies….
Renee Lansing (Carol Lynley) is a high-priced New York “call girl” who just wants to take a vacation some place where no one knows what she does for a living. At first, the fantasy seems to be going well. She even meets a nice guy named Bill (Paul Burke). But then, on the tennis court — OH MY GOD, IT’S ONE OF HER CUSTOMERS! Renee runs off to Mr. Roarke’s office and demands her money back. Mr. Roarke tells her that she’s not being honest with herself about what her fantasy actually is. At this point, I was really wondering what one goes through when one signs up to Fantasy Island. I assume some sort of agreement has to be signed. Does the agreement actually state that Mr. Roarke gets to decide what your fantasy actually is? Renee’s fantasy was to not be recognized. She’s been recognized. GIVE HER BACK HER MONEY, ROARKE!
Anyway, it all turns out for the best. Bill reveals that he also knows who Renee is (GIVE HER BACK HER MONEY!) but he doesn’t care because he’s secretly been in love with her for years and apparently, it was his fantasy to be reunited with her. Good for Bill but Renee still didn’t get her fantasy. Someone needs to introduce her to a good lawyer.
Meanwhile, Jack Kincaid (played by the master of overacting, Christopher George) is a race car driver who has never mentally recovered from a serious crash. His fantasy is to reexperience the crash so that he can get back his confidence. Mr. Roarke goes through a lot of trouble to build an exact replica of the race track on which Jack crashed. He even brings Jack’s mechanic, Corky (Alan Hale, Jr.), to the island. Fortunately, Jack’s wife (Carol Lawrence) convinces Jack that he has nothing to prove. So, Jack doesn’t get his fantasy but he does become a better person.
Did anyone get their fantasy this week!? Actually, Mr. Brennan (Jerry Van Dyke) did. Mr. Brennan shows up in one scene and tells Roarke that he loved his fantasy, which was apparently to play tennis without having to deal with his wife nagging him …. wait, what? That’s the fantasy that Roarke actually honors?
I’m starting to think Fantasy Island might be a scam! We’ll find out more next week, I guess.
On tonight’s episode of Ghost Story, college co-eds are being drained of their blood! Who could the culprit be? Oddly, some say that they saw a recently deceased college professor near the scene of the crime. What was that professor studying when he died? Vampirism!
This one is kind of silly but I always enjoy a vampire story. This episode aired on December 1st, 1972.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
We are reaching the conclusion of the first season of Hang Time and it’s time for us to ask where we’re all going with this show. What will be the ultimate conclusion of Deering’s season? Let’s get in the mood to find out with the Hang Time theme song!
Get out on that court and put it in the basket!
Episode 1.11 “The Bachelor Pad”
(Directed by Howard Murray, originally aired on November 18th, 1995)
“Great game, everyone!” Coach Fuller announces at the start of this episode, letting us know that Deering is finally having a good season. I wonder if they’ll make it to the state championship? (Of course, they will! A show would never be made about a merely adequate team. That seems a bit unfair, though. Most high school teams are merely adequate and surely, they deserve some representation as well!)
There’s trouble in paradise! Danny’s parents are out of town and, for some reason, this leads to Danny staying at Coach Fuller’s penthouse for three days. A student staying with his teacher and coach for the weekend? I remember when this happened on Degrassi. The end result was the coach getting fired and the student being traumatized for life. Seriously, Danny staying with Fuller seems massively inappropriate but I guess the 90s were a different time. Meanwhile, Sam is worried that no one takes her seriously because she’s just the equipment manager.
Anyway, you can guess what happens, can’t you? Coach Fuller goes out for the evening. Danny does the Risky Business dance in Fuller’s penthouse and then everyone from school shows up. The wild party leads to Fuller’s $3,000 chair getting damaged. The next day, during the game, Fuller learns about the party and the damage to his chair and he chases Danny out onto the court. Fuller is kicked out of the game and Sam has to take over. Sam coaches the team to victory and the team apologizes to the coach. Yay!
Oh — and due to winning that game, the team is going to the league championship! Take that, merely adequate teams!
As for the episode itself, this is another one of those episodes that drives me crazy because every problem that the characters run into is due to their own stupidity. Still, it was nice that Hillary Tuck finally got a chance to shine. The team owes their victory to a redhead. Yay, Sam!
Episode 1.12 “Poetic Justice”
(Directed by Howard Murray, originally aired on November 25th, 1995)
“Chris and I are a couple!” Julie announces at the end of this episode.
“A couple of what?” Mary Beth responds and I’ll admit right now that I laughed. Megan Parlen’s delivery was perfect on that line.
Mary Beth has reason to be upset because, just before Julie made her announcement, she was telling Chris that she wanted to get back together with him. Mary Beth may have thought that she was over Chris but Earl encouraged her to write a poem about her feelings and that led to Mary Beth realizing that she was still in love with her ex.
Earl’s a poet now? Yep.
Julie is finally ready to public with her relationship with Chris? Yep.
The championship is coming up with all of this drama going on? Yep.
Yes, it’s all kind of silly but it was worth it for that one line. “A couple of what?” It made me laugh and that really is kind of the point of the show.
Next week, it’s championship time!
On tonight’s episode of Ghost Story, a rodeo is terrorized by a series of cougar attacks. Could it have anything to do with the cat-like wife of rodeo star Doug McClure?
This episode originally aired on November 24th, 1972 and it is kind of silly but …. hey, it’s Doug McClure. It doesn’t get more early 70s than Doug McClure.
Enjoy!
Here’s some thoughts on what I watched this week!
Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)
Oh Lord, the Story Samurais. Seriously, I’ve known people just like that. I was cringing for them through the entire episode. Ava continues to be the best character on the show.
The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)
I wrote about the latest episode of The Amazing Race here.
Atlanta (Thursday Night, FX)
This week’s episode dealt with an enigmatic entertainment mogul known as Kirkwood Chocolate, who was a prolific and popular creator of melodramatic dramas and broad comedies. Everyone on the show acknowledged that Mr. Chocolate’s shows were not necessarily good but they also wanted to support black art. Mr. Chocolate, himself, turned out to be a somewhat crazed megalomaniac who also claimed to have no control over his shows. Lottie briefly became Mr. Chocolate’s biggest star. It was a funny and thought-provoking episode and it made no attempt to hide that Kirkwood Chocolate was basically Tyler Perry.
Bachelor In Paradise (Monday and Tuesday Nights, ABC)
I just watched it for the scenery. It is kind of interesting that everyone who has been eliminated so far came from Clayton’s season. It’s like someone put a curse on that season and the people involved will never find peace.
Beyond The Headlines (Sunday Morning, Lifetime)
This was a one-hour discussion of the Gabby Petito case, which Lifetime aired as a companion to The Gabby Petito Story.
East New York (Sunday Night, CBS)
On Sunday, I watched the first episode of CBS’s newest cop show, East New York. The main reason that I watched it was because I had been inundated for commercials for the show while I was watching Big Brother last month. Much as I was expecting, East New York turned out to be a middling cop show, one that tried to walk the fine line between back the blue and defund the police. It didn’t really work but it was nice to see that the show had good roles for Richard Kind and Jimmy Smits.
Ghosts (Thursday Night, CBS)
Sam started a podcast about Hetty’s murder but, in order to get funding, she had to accept the eccentric and creepy Todd Pearlman as a co-host. This episode wasn’t quite as funny as the season premiere but it did set up what I assume will be this season’s major storyline.
Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)
Someone finally tried to serve raw chicken. It’s not really Hell’s Kitchen until that happens.
Inspector Lewis (YouTube)
I watched the end of the 8th series on Tuesday. Robbie was upset because one of his old cases was being reopened. I was upset because Hathaway had a truly terrible haircut. Hopefully, that’ll be corrected next week.
Interview With A Vampire (Sunday, AMC)
I watched the premiere on Monday and I was bored out of my mind.
Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)
Anti-Asian hate crimes have been on the rise in New York City so, of course, Law & Order decided to do an episode about it in which they blamed it all on a generic right-wing gun nut who was upset over COVID. The U.S. government wanted to prosecute the criminal but they also wanted to see the death penalty. “I don’t know if I can set my personal beliefs aside,” Price said. When has Price ever been able to set aside his personal beliefs? Seriously, we’re only to seasons into this season and I’m already sick of Price talking about his personal beliefs.
Law & Order: Organized Crime (Thursday Night, NBC)
I did watch Organized Crime but seriously, don’t even ask me what happened on this week’s episode. I got bored and kind of zoned out. All I know is that Stabler needs to relax. Maybe try yoga or something.
Law & Order: SVU (Thursday Night, NBC)
SVU took a heavy-handed swipe at influencer culture this week. It was a bit of a generic story but the episode was somewhat redeemed by Killi Giddish’s performance as Amanda Rollins, who is still struggling to put being shot behind her.
Mike Judge’s Beavis and Butt-Head (Paramount Plus)
Never will I forget the horror of Beavis putting on Yoga pants. The season came to an end this week with an appropriately hilarious episode. First, Beavis and Butt-Head were thrilled to discover their employer reserved the right to refuse service to customers who created an unsafe work environment. And then Beavis decided that he would “look really sexy” in yoga pants. Needless to say it didn’t go well. As for the overall season, I liked it. I perhaps would have done a bit less with Old Beavis and Old Butt-Head but otherwise, this was a really funny and sharply satiric show.
Night Flight (NightFlight+)
I watched two episodes of this old 80s show on Friday night. One dealt with songs about drugs. The other was a profile of Depeche Mode.
The Real Love Boat (Wednesday Night, CBS)
Basically, this is just Paradise Hotel on a boat. Who knows? Maybe everyone will find love before the season ends.
So Help Me Todd (Wednesday Night, CBS)
This is a new show about a lawyer and her son, the private investigator. Guess what the son’s name is! CBS advertised the Hell out of this during Big Brother, so I watched the first episode when it was re-aired on Sunday. It was not quite as bad as I was expecting but it’s still very much a middle-of-the-road, safe to watch with your middle-aged relatives sort of show. Marcia Gay Harden plays the lawyer and it’s nice to see her playing someone who isn’t a half-crazed victim for once.
Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)
I wrote about the latest episode of Survivor here.
Talking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)
I still like Talking Dead but it’s hard not to feel that everything that can be said about The Walking Dead already has been said. Even Chris Hardwicke seemed to be kind of bored with it all.
The Walking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)
The Walking Dead returned with a boring episode. Let’s hope things pick up next week.
Tonight’s episode of Ghost Story is full of stars!
Evil grandpa comes to visit his family and, with the help of voodoo cookies (you read that right), he tries to manipulate his deaf and mute granddaughter into helping him kill everyone! Grandpa is played by Melvyn Douglas. His granddaughter is played by Jodie Foster! And the script was written by none other than Robert Bloch and Richard Matheson!
This episode originally aired on November 10th, 1972.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing California Dreams, which ran on NBC from 1992 to 1996. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
The story of California’s blandest garage band continues. Last week was all about Tiffani getting mad at her mom and surfing. What will this week be about?
Let’s just lie here in the sun until these dreams are done. Actually, how do those lyrics go? I don’t really feel like relistening to theme song to find out.
Episode 1.11 “They Shoot Videos, Don’t They?”
(Directed by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 21st, 1992)
Remember Randi-Jo? Randi-Jo was Matt’s girlfriend. She was incredibly boring but so was Matt. On the show, Randi-Jo appeared in the pilot and then she appeared in the 3rd episode and then she vanished and the viewers even saw Matt dating (or at least trying to date) other women.
In episode 11, Randi-Jo suddenly shows up again! She and Matt are so in love that she gets upset when Matt is supposed to be kissed by a girl in a music video that the Dreams is filming for a music video contest. Randi-Jo ends up dumping Matt’s boring ass and Matt gets all mopey and writes a depressing song. The Dreams then go on to film a music video that looks like every student film ever made. Check out that dark lighting! Check out that emotional close-up! It looks like every bad indie film to ever come out of Austin.
This episode might have been better if Matt and Randi-Jo weren’t such boring characters and if maybe Matt was a little bit less whiny. (“I just need to be alone, okay?” Shut up, Matt.) We do get watch the process by which Matt turns heartbreak into a song and it’s not very impressive. (“Maybe I’m crazy,” Matt sings and I have to admit that I kind of groaned at the realization that Matt Garrison was essentially a 16 year-old version of Michael Bolton.) To be honest, though, Randi-Jo was being a bit unreasonable. People kiss in music videos. Calm down.
Episode 1.12 “The Time”
(Directed by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 28th, 1992)
The Dreams need a tour bus so that they can get to a show that’s several miles away. Sly buys an old VW van, one that is covered with 60s era graffiti and bumper stickers about making love and not war. Jenny freaks out when she finds a Partridge Family cassette in the van. I don’t blame her.
Jenny has other problems, though. She’s gotten back together with her jerky ex-boyfriend, Eric. Eric is charming but self-centered and he doesn’t believe in the Dreams! Soon, Jenny is blowing off rehearsals and actually having a life separate from hanging out with her brother’s band. However, Eric soon proves himself to still be a cad and Jenny returns to the band. Yay, I guess.
This one was okay, if just because every woman has known and dated someone like Eric and it’s good to be reminded that we deserve better. Plus, Jenny got to star in her own black-and-white music video, which was far superior to the video that Matt starred in with his little break-up song.
These two episodes left me feeling mellow.
Through the Shattered Lens 