Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.12 “The Big Storm”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, a mudslide changes everything …. kind of.

Episode 1.12 “The Big Storm”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on January 10th, 1999)

Stads and Jason are coming up on their big, six-month anniversary!  Stads wants to celebrate at a volleyball tournament.  Jason wants to celebrate at the “Puff Daddy” concert.  You can really tell how old this show is by the fact that 1) they’re still calling him “Puff Daddy” and 2) they’re taking seriously the idea of wanting to see him in concert.

With Stads annoyed that Jason never seems to want to do anything that she wants to do, Jason turns to Sam for advice.  Sam says that Jason should drive into Beverly Hills and buy a necklace that Stads wants.  Sam even accompanies Jason on the drive.  Awww!  What a good freind.

But then — oh no! — a storm hits.  Jason and Sam end up getting trapped in their car by a mudslide.  Trapped together, Jason and Sam share a kiss.  Its a big moment that would have been bigger if it made any sense.  Seriously, until that moment, Sam had never shown any interest in Jason whatsoever.  But now, suddenly, they’re kissing and preparing to die together.  I understand that it’s probably mudslide panic but still, it just feels as if it comes out of nowhere.

Fortunately, Jason and Sam are rescued by the lifeguards (including Stads).  Jason and Sam agree not to tell Stads about the kiss.  Jason also gives Stads the necklace (Awwww!  It’s a nice necklace!) and then suggests that, instead of seeing Puff Daddy, they just have a romantic dinner.  Stads agrees.

Unfortunately, at dinner, Stads says that she knows what happened in the car.  Jason says the kiss didn’t mean anything, just to discover that Stads was just referring to Jason and Sam talking in general.  Stads gives Jason back his necklace and then dumps him.  Good for Stads, she deserves better!

This is one of those storylines that would have worked better if I actually cared about any of the characters on the show but, for the most part, everyone is so shallow that it’s hard to really get worked up when they get trapped in a mudslide.  As well, it would have helped if Sam had ever previously shown any interest in Jason.  As well, while Jason did have a crush on Sam when the show began, that didn’t seem to last long.  Two people who produce absolutely no romantic sparks shared a kiss.  It didn’t really do much for me.

As often happens with this show, the B-plots were better than the main plot, largely because Brandon Brooks and Priscilla Inga Taylor were both willing to full embrace the absurdity of their characters.  After Peter told Murray to stop talking so much, Murray resorted to typing his words out on his laptop and having a computerized voice repeat them.  That made me laugh.  Meanwhile, Tracy — who is now dating Kip, the dumb lifeguard from the previous episode — explored her artistic side by getting a camera and taking pictures of a shirtless Scott wearing an Abraham Lincoln beard.  It was weird enough to be funny.

Anyway, Stads has escaped Jason …. for now.  Run, Stads, run!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.16 “Perchance to Dream”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, it’s all about dreams!

Episode 2.16 “Perchance to Dream”

(Dir by Paul Boyington, originally aired on February 4th, 1990)

Alex (Raphael Sbarge) is a college student whose dorm room has become one wild place.  Blood continually drips from a chair.  A subway train occasionally roars past the window.  A giant nun peeks in on him and tries to swat him with a ruler.  These are all images that Alex used to see in his dreams but now, they’re entering his waking world and what’s really strange is that everyone else can see them too.  His subconscious has become reality.

Thinking that it might have something to do with a recent mugging in which Alex struck his head and apparently lost the ability to sleep, Alex’s girlfriend, Megan (Sarah Buxton), asks Kyle (Kenneth Danziger), an expert on dreams, for help.  Arriving at Alex’s dorm room just in time to save Alex from the nun and her ruler, Kyle theorizes that, because Alex isn’t sleeping, he’s projecting his dreams into the real world.  The only solution is for Alex and Megan to enter a portal that leads them straight into Alex’s subconscious.  If Alex can find his dream self, he can finally get some rest.  Of course, Alex and Megan will have to avoid and defeat a series of trains, muggers, and nuns to accomplish their task.

This episode is entertainingly goofy.  It was obviously inspired by the popularity of the Nightmare on Elm Street films but the monster here is not a wisecracking killer like Freddy Krueger but instead, it’s just Alex’s bad childhood memories and the trauma of having been mugged.  As I watched this episode, I was impressed that Monsters tried to do something different than usual but I was also very aware that 20 minutes was not enough time to tell the story that this episode wanted to tell.  For this episode to really work, the viewer would have to feel a deep connection to Alex.  Raphael Sbarge gives a likable performance as Alex and he has a really cute chemistry with Sarah Buxton but 20 minutes still isn’t enough time to really get to know the guy.

When seen today, the special effects are undeniably primitive but there’s something kind of charming about that.  The scene where the giant nun tries to swat Alex with a ruler looks silly today and I imagine it probably looked silly in 1990 as well but it’s a fun kind of silly.  The same can be said of the scene where Alex and Megan plunge into his subconscious.  CGI has come a long way but today’s realistic CGI just doesn’t have the do-it-yourself charm of early chroma keying and matte shots.  I liked that Alex’s subconscious was not only goofy but cheap as well.

Horror on TV: One Step Beyond 1.2 “Night of April 14th” (dir by John Newland)


For today’s televised horror, we have the second episode of the 1960s anthology series, One Step Beyond.

In this episode, a young Englishwoman is haunted by dreams of drowning.  Try as she might, she can’t get the feeling of doom out of her mind.  Perhaps her upcoming trip to New York will help to relax her.  Her fiancee even tells her that they’ll be traveling to New York on the most luxurious ship ever built.  The name of that ship?  Why, the Titanic, of course.

For the record, there actually were quite a few people who apparently did have psychic premonitions of doom when it came to the Titanic.  Perhaps the most infamous example was the author Morgan Robertson, who wrote a novel in 1898 that was called The Wreck of the Titan: Or, Futility.  That book managed to perfectly predict that sinking of the Titanic, right down to the iceberg and the number of lives lost.

This episode originally aired on January 27th, 1959.

Enjoy!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.25 & 26: “This Year’s Model/The Model Marriage/Vogue Rogue/Too Clothes for Comfort/Original Sin”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, it’s time for the fashion festival!

Episode 4.25 and 4.26 “This Year’s Model/The Model Marriage/Vogue Rogue/Too Clothes for Comfort/Original Sin”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on May 2nd, 1981)

This week, the Love Boat sails to Acapulco for the International Fashion Festival!  Vicki, who hopes to grow up to be a fashion designer, is excited about meeting her idols.  Doc, Gopher, and Isaac are excited about the models.  Captain Stubing starts the cruise by reminding everyone to do their job for once.  It’s about time Stubing told them that.  Does Doc even keep office hours anymore?

This one of those two-hour episodes of The Love Boat that gets chopped into two episodes for syndication.  As such, it’s double-sized, with twice as many guest stars and the boat actually sailing to Acapulco during filming.  That doesn’t mean that the storyline are any more complicated than usual on this episode.  Despite being longer then usual, the episode follows the usual Love Boat pattern.  The extra time is largely taken up with a travelogue of Mexico (watch as a limo very slowly drives to a luxury hotel!) and the fashion show.

Fashion designers Gloria Vanderbilt, Bob Mackie, Halston, and Geoffrey Beene all appear as themselves.  They’re listed as guest stars but they don’t actually do anything other than board the ship and then show off their designs.  They don’t find love on the boat, nor do they search for it.  (Well, Halston probably did….)  Interestingly enough, none of them — not even the famous Halston — has much of a screen presence and in the scene where they introduce themselves to the crew, they’re all so stiff that it is somewhat difficult to watch.  It’s obvious that none of them were actors but it’s also interesting to consider that there was a time when someone could be internationally famous without being a natural on camera.

There are also a few fictional designers on the cruise.  They’re the one who actually have storylines.  Harvey Blanchard (Dick Shawn) is not aware that his daughter, Mandy (Debra Clinger), has married his nerdy assistant, Alvin Beale (Richard Gilliand).  Mandy wants Alvin to tell her father that they re married during the cruise but first, Alvin is going to have to figure out what to do after he accidentally dumps some designer clothes down a laundry chute and they end up shrinking in the dryer.  (“Have you ever considered designing children’s clothing?” Alvin asks his boss.)

Benita James (Elke Sommer) is an “up-and-coming” fashion designer who falls in love with Sidney Sloan (Mike Connors), despite the fact that he’s an industrial spy who has been hired to steal her designs.  Sid falls in love with Benita as well and decides that he can’t betray her.  But when Sid’s partner (Steve Franken) ransacks Benita’s cabin, will Sid be able to convince her that he wasn’t involved?

Charles Paris (Robert Vaughn, looking somewhat embarrassed) is a cosmetics tycoon who boards the boat looking for the new Ms. Paris, the model who will be the face of his company.  Will he pick Liz(Morgan Brittany) the model with whom he is falling in love, or will he pick Joanne Atkins (Carmilla Sparv), the model who has been told that, since she’s now over 35, her career is over?

Speaking of Joanne, she falls in love with Captain Stubing and Stubing falls in love with her.  Meanwhile, the married heads of her modeling agency (Anne Baxter and McClean Stevenson, who looks almost as embarrassed as Robert Vaughn) argue over whether or not Joanne is too old to continue on as a model.

Julie is excited because her former sorority sister, Melissa (Cristina Ferrare), is a model on the cruise.  Julie can’t wait to spend the whole cruise with her but Melissa meets and falls in love with Larry (Chris Marlowe).  When Melissa and Larry run off to get married, Julie takes her friend’s place in the fashion show.

And really, the fashion show is what this episode is all about.  The stories aren’t particularly important.  We’re here for the clothes!

Bob Mackie starts things off with a really cute collection of lingerie and pajamas, which happen to be my favorite things to wear.  I loved his collection.

Gloria Vanderbilt follows with sporty summer fashion, and watching her collection, I found myself wanting to go play tennis with my neighbors.

Geoffrey Beene follows with a collection of plaid suits that will be familiar to anyone who has ever binged a 70s sitcom.

“Up and comer” Benita James presents a collection of truly hideous cocktail dresses.

And Halston closes things out with evening wear.  “Red is my favorite color,” Halston says, “It’s so fun.”  This redhead appreciates the sentiment, even if it was kind of obvious that Halston didn’t bring his top designs on the cruise with him.

As the highlight of the episode, the fashion show was definitely entertaining though. it was impossible not to smile at just how ugly Benita James’s designs actually were.  Seriously, someone went to the trouble to hire two industrial spies to steal those designs?

As for everything else, it all works out.  This is The Love Boat.  Everything always works out.  Charles Paris announces that the new Ms. Paris will be Joanne but then he asks Liz to be “Mrs. Paris.”  Sid and Benita decide to get married as well.  Captain Stubing gets to have sex for once.  I think that may be the first time that’s happened since this show started.  Julie enjoys modeling.  Everyone either finds love or decides not to get divorced.  That’s a successful cruise!

This cruise was fun in its silly way.  Bob Mackie definitely won the fashion show.  Though the designers may not have been comfortable on camera and McClean Stevenson looked like he was on the verge of jumping overboard from embarrassment, this was The Love Boat at its most entertaining.

 

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.12 “Frozen Out Of Time”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

From Iceland to Malibu, you can’t keep a good Viking down.

Episode 2.12 “Frozen Out Of Time”

(DIr by Rick Jacobson, originally aired on February 9th, 1997)

After a volcanic eruption in Iceland, a frozen Viking boat is discovered floating in the ocean.  Inside the boat are two Vikings, who have spent the past 900 years in blocks of ice.  Under the orders of Dr. Lancaster (Edward Mulhare), the Vikings are transported to Malibu.  Lancaster’s plan is to thaw the Vikings out and see if they can be revived.  Daimont Teague, who has a habit of popping up anywhere that someone is trying to do something stupid, is not sure if Dr. Lancaster knows what he’s doing so he decides to call Mitch and Ryan to the lab.

Now, you can justifiably say, “What is Mitch going to do with a frozen Viking?”  It’s a legitimate question.  Of course, you can also wonder why Dr. Lancaster thinks that he’ll be able to revive the Vikings.  I mean, they’ve been frozen for 900 years!  That’s a long time to float around in a block of ice.

Of course, the Vikings are revived.  Unfortunately, it turns out that they were on that boat because they were trying to settle a blood feud.  The first Viking (Sven-Ole Thorsen) goes on a rampage through the lab and then runs around Malibu pier.  Mitch and Griff are able to capture him and bring him back to the lab.  Unfortunately, the other Viking (Nils Allen Stewart) has woken up and the two Vikings soon reignite their interrupted duel to the death.

I’m actually leaving out a few details but you can probably guess everything that happens in this episode from what I’ve told you.  It’s not really a shock when Mitch turns out to be an expert in Viking culture.  It’s also not a surprise when the two Vikings end up killing each other and Mitch gives them a traditional Viking funeral.  It’s not just that Mitch puts them on a wooden raft and then shoots a flaming arrow at it.  It’s that Mitch dramatically yells, “Valhalla!” while doing so.

Myself, I’m a bit curious about how the Vikings manage to go right back to fighting as soon as they thawed out.  It would seem like, after 900 years of lying prone in one position, they would be a little bit stiff.  I would imagine that there would at least be some backpain or maybe a touch of arthritis.  (I mean, I’m not even 40 and I’ve already got arthritis in my ankle.)  Also consider that the Vikings have no trouble breathing the air, despite the fact that Los Angeles’s polluted air is undoubtedly a lot different from what their lungs are used to.  And that’s not even to mention all of the germs that the Vikings have never experienced before.  It seems like the Vikings should have at least had a cold or something.

Was this episode a good one?  Hey, it featured David Hasselhoff, Angie Harmon, and two 900 year-old Vikings.  Of course, it was good!  Baywatch Nights is always at its best when it embraces the absurdity and there’s nothing more absurd than this episode.

Horror on Television: One Step Beyond 1.1 “The Bride Possessed” (dir by John Newland)


During the month of October, we like to share classic episodes of horror-themed television.  That was easier to do when we first started doing our annual October Horrorthon here at the Shattered Lens because every single episode of the original, black-and-white Twilight Zone was available on YouTube.  Sadly, that’s no longer the case.

However, there is some good news!  Twilight Zone may be gone but there are other horror shows on YouTube!  For instance, there’s One Step Beyond, a supernatural-themed anthology show that claimed every story that it told was based on an actual incident.  This show ran on ABC from 1959 to 1961 and was scheduled to air opposite of Twilight Zone.

The very first episode of One Step Beyond aired on January 20th, 1959.  In this episode, a young bride (Virginia Leith) on her honeymoon suddenly starts to act differently.  (Not only does she become more outspoken but she also loses her Southern accent.)  Is it possible that she’s been possessed by the spirit of a murdered woman and now, she’s going to solve her own murder?

Watch to find out!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.11 “House of Dolls/Wuthering Heights”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, it’s all about the power of imagination.

Episode 5.11 “House of Dolls/Wuthering Heights”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on January 9th, 1982)

After being absent last week, Tattoo returns for this episode.  That means that Julie, once again, is too busy on the other side of the Island to assist Mr. Roarke this week.  The excuse that the show’s writer come up with to explain Julie’s absence is that she accidentally opened up a box of Fantasy Island butterflies that were meant to be delivered to the San Diego Zoo.  Now, Julie has to catch all of the butterflies.  Good luck, Julie!

As for the fantasies, they both deal with imagination.

Clarissa Bevis (Britt Ekland) is a librarian who is single because she’s never met a real-life man who can compare to Heathcliffe from Clarissa’s favorite novel, Wuthering Heights.  Clarissa wants to enter the world of the novel so that she can meet Heathcliffe and hopefully put her obsession with him behind her.  Mr. Roarke grants her fantasy but warns her that she must not change the plot of the book in any way.  That strikes me as an odd rule because it’s not as if Clarissa is traveling into the past.  She’s entering her imagination so why would it matter if she decided to do what so many other readers have done and imagine a different ending to her favorite novel?

Clarissa finds herself approaching Wuthering Heights.  Heathcliffe (Hugh O’Brian) sees her and declares that his beloved Catherine has come back to life.  Meanwhile, Edgar Linton (Richard Anderson) believes that this proves Heathcliffe has gone mad and starts to plot to have Heathcliffe declared insane so that Edgar can claim Wuthering Heights and all of its farmland as his own.  To be honest, if we’re in Clarissa’s imagination, I can only assume that she’s only seen a movie version of Wuthering Heights because neither Heathcliffe nor Edgar behave like their characters in the book  (In particular, Edgar is portrayed as being a cartoonishly evil villain.)  And, it should be noted, no mention is made of Cathy, Linton, Hindley, Isabella, Harleton, or any of the book’s other characters.  How is Clarissa supposed to stay true to the plot of a book that she’s never read?

As for the other fantasy, Francis Elkins (Bob Denver) is a maker and dresser of mannequins,  He’s fallen in love with one of his mannequins — “Hey, that’s not creepy at all,” I say while dramatically rolling my eyes — and his fantasy is for her to come to life.  Roarke gives Francis a magical medallion thing that Francis uses to bring Courtney (Barbi Benton) to life, with the understanding that Courtney will only be human for two days.  Eager to live as much life as possible, Courtney uses the medallion to bring to life three other mannequins to serve as the members of her squad.  She also flirts with two salesmen (Larry Storch and Joey Forman) by telling them that’s she’s from Bloomingdale’s (“Oh yeah,” Storch says, “that town in Indiana,”) and that she’s only six years old.  Fortunately, Francis’s love for Courtney is so strong that Courtney remains human even after the two days are up.

At the start of this fantasy, Roarke promises Tattoo that it will be the most delightful fantasy ever.  Barbi Benton did a good job in the role of Courtney and she certainly showed more comedic timing here than she did during previous visits to the Island.  But I don’t know …. the whole falling in love with a mannequin thing was a little too creepy to be delightful.

That said, this was an entertaining episode, even if neither fantasy really worked.  Barbi Benton got to show off her comedic timing and the Wuthering Heights fantasy was enjoyably melodramatic, even if it got the book wrong and even though all-American Hugh O’Brian was not exactly the most convincing Heathcliffe.  This was a nice enough trip to the Island.

I wonder if Julie ever found those butterflies.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.14 “Repo Man”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Jon Baker takes on …. THE REPO MAN!

Episode 2.14 “Repo Man”

(DIr by Alex Grasshoff, aired on January 6th, 1979)

This week features a truly memorable villain.

Doyle Ware (Mills Watson) is a repo man.  When people fall behind on their car payments, Doyle is the guy who shows up to repossess the vehicle.  That he’s a sleaze shouldn’t come as a surprise.  I mean, who likes a repo man, right?  But, as Baker and Ponch discover, Doyle is more than just a repo man.

He’s a criminal mastermind!

He steals cars and then informs the owner that the car has been destroyed in an accident.  Doyle offers to buy what little is left of the vehicle.  However, the truth is that the car hasn’t been destroyed.  And once Doyle gets the title, he proceeds to sell the car under the original owner’s name.  Then, once the buyer falls behind on their payments, he repossesses the car and sells it again.  What a sleazy guy!

When Baker and Ponch prevent Doyle from repossessing an old couple’s trailer, Doyle reacts by trying to destroy their credit.  He plants false reports that Baker and Ponch owe money.  Baker tries to buy an expensive saddle, just to be humiliated when the clerk (played by future playwright Terrence McNally) informs him that his credit score is awful.  Ponch starts to get notices at the police station, telling him that he owes money.  Getraer offers to help Baker but not Ponch.  Getraer can’t stand Ponch.

While dealing with his bad credit, Baker also becomes a local celebrity when he jumps, from a bridge, onto an out-of-control school bus.  Baker’s face appears on the local news and soon, people are demanding his autograph.  Baker is mortified.  Ponch is thrilled because, for some reason, people want his autograph too.  “Oh my God, you’re his partner!” someone says as they rush up to Ponch’s motorcycle.  Seriously, Ponch didn’t do anything!

Meanwhile, Grossman (who, as played by Paul Linke, is the most consistently likable member of the show’s supporting cast) gets an article published in a magazine.  Everyone at the station pretends like they haven’t read and enjoyed the article.  Poor Grossie!  Don’t worry, though.  A news crew films Grossie putting out a fire and he soon replaces Baker as everyone’s favorite local hero.  Baker’s happy to have both his good credit and his anonymity restored.

(This is actually a pretty big episode for Baker.  He also gets a subplot in which a watchmaker, played by Ned Glass, destroys Baker’s watch after he bring it in to get the wrist band fixed.)

This was a good episode.  The school bus rescue was genuinely exciting and Doyle Ware was a villain who was so sleazy that it was a lot of fun watching him get taken down.  CHiPs did a good job with Repo Man.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.1 “When Irish Eyes Are Crying”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

Welcome to season 3!

Episode 3.1 “When Irish Eyes Are Crying”

(Dir by Mario DiLeo, originally aired on September 26, 1986)

The third season of Miami Vice opens with Gina saving the life of Sean Carrone (a very young Liam Neeson).

Carrone is a former commander in the IRA, a man who has lost two brothers during the Troubles and who killed his first British solider when was fourteen but who now says that he has renounced violence and is instead a believer in peace.  When he gives a lecture in Miami, Gina, Zito, and Switek attend because they’ve gotten a hot tip from Izzy that an arms deal is going to occur afterwards.  Instead, a teenage gunman attempts to assassinate Sean and Gina is forced to use deadly force to save Sean’s life.

Gina is put on administrative leave after the shooting, which gives her plenty of time to pursue her new romance with Sean!  A jealous Crockett doesn’t trust Sean and it turns out that Crockett’s correct when it becomes apparent that Sean and his American benefactor (Paul Gleason) are looking to purchase Stinger missiles from arms dealers Max Kilzer (Walter Gotell, who played the head of the KGB in several Bond films) and Eddie Kaye (Jeff Fahey).  With the dubious help of a haughty British MI6 agent (Daniel Gerroll), Crockett and Tubbs try to uncover Sean’s plans.  Along the way, Tubbs gets to try out another fake accent, Crockett spends some time as Burnett without anyone noticing that Sonny Burnett looks and talks exactly like Sonny Crockett, and Eddie Kaye finds time to blow up Sonny’s beloved car.

On the plus side, this episode had a wonderful group of guest stars. When one episode finds substantial roles for Liam Neeson, Jeff Fahey, Paul Gleason, and Walter Gotell, it’s pretty good guess that the episode is going to be worth watching.  All four of them give memorable performances.  Liam Neeson is, of course, the star attraction here but I also enjoyed Jeff Fahey’s turn as a half-crazed bayou arms dealer who is first seen wearing a t-shirt that reads, “Kill Them All.”  I also appreciated that this episode gave everyone in the cast something to do.  During season 2, it was easy to forget that Gina and Trudy were even on the show.

That said, as I watched this episode, I couldn’t help but feel that it was missing the energy that made the first two seasons stand out.  If the first season was tough and gritty and the second season was surreal and often shocking, the third season got off to a rather comfortable start.  Don Johnson and Phillip Michael Thomas both seemed a little bit too relaxed in their roles as Crockett and Tubbs.  The third season opener played out like a well-0iled machine and that was the problem.  It was almost too efficient, with little of the spontaneity that ran through the previous two seasons.

It’s something that happens to every series.  The first two seasons are all about experimenting and taking chances and finding the right tone.  By the time the third season rolls around, the formula is in place and things can start to feel a little mechanical.  That was how I felt about this episode.  The supporting cast carried the drama while the main cast went through the motions.  That said, the episode did what a season premiere should do.  It re-introduced the viewer to the characters, it had enough violence to keep action fans happy, and it announced the show was back.  We’ll see how season 3 plays out over the next few weeks.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi Junior High 3.10 “Twenty Bucks”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week, everyone needs some money.  Gourmet Scum is coming.

Episode 3.10 “Twenty Bucks”

(Dir by John Bertram, originally aired on February 6th, 1989)

To quote the Zit Remedy, everybody wants something they’ll never give up.  In this week’s episode, everyone wants twenty bucks.

That’s how much it costs to buy a ticket to see Gourmet Scum, Canada’s hottest band.  Melanie, who has gotten her braces taken off and who is finally feeling confident about herself (Hey, I’ve been there!), has been invited to the concert by Snake.  There’s just one catch.  Melanie has to pay for her own ticket.  When Melanie asks her mom for the money, Melanie’s mom says that she can’t spare twenty dollars.  Not with the cost of groceries!  (Hell, try living in 2024.)

Melanie decides to steal twenty dollars from her mom’s purse.  Melanie justifies it by assuming that she’ll get paid twenty dollars for her next babysitting job and she’ll be able to pay her mom back as a result.  Melanie steals the money and buys the ticket.  However, her weekend babysitting job is canceled.  Without the twenty dollars, Melanie’s mom will only be able to make chili until her next payday.  A guilt-ridden Melanie finally confesses to stealing from her mom.  Her mom promptly grounds Melanie, meaning no concert and probably no chili either.

Snake, when he hears Melanie can’t go to the concert with him, decides that he doesn’t want to go to the concert either.  Awwww!  Snake and Melanie are cute together but, those of us who have seen Degrassi: The Next Generation, know that Snake is ultimately going to marry ….. well, I won’t spoil it.

Meanwhile, Spike is upset because Shane has told her that he’s broke and won’t be able to pay her any child support.  Why is Shane broke?  Because he used his last twenty dollars to buy a ticket to Gourmet Scum!

Finally, Joey makes a twenty-dollar bet with BLT (Dayo Ade).  (Yes, the character’s nickname is BLT.)  BLT bets that Joey can’t get a date for Friday night.  Joey asks and is turned down by almost every girl at school.  Even the Farrell twins turn him down!  (Seriously, how much of a loser do you have to be to actually get turned down by a Farrell?)  Finally, he asks the girl that he really likes (but who he fears no longer likes him), Caitlin.  Caitlin says yes.  Awwwww!  Unfortunately, BLT pays Joey right in front of Caitlin.  In order to prove that he didn’t ask Caitlin out just for the money, Joey proceeds to rip up the twenty dollar bill.  (Keep in mind, it’s a Canadian twenty so he probably just ripped up the equivalent of an American dollar.)

I enjoyed this episode.  It deftly balanced several storylines but it also set up a few big developments that we’ll talk about next week.  Joey and Caitlin are a cute couple and so are Melanie and Snake.  As for Shane and Spike …. well, like I said, we’ll talk about it next week.