Since Sunday is a day of rest for a lot of people, I’m introducing #SundayShorts, a weekly mini review about a movie I’ve recently watched.
In BLIND FURY, Rutger Hauer does his best Zatoichi impersonation in a loose remake of a 1967 Japanese film called ZATOICHI CHALLENGED. The movie’s strongest quality is its ability to be both a kickass action film and a comic action film. That’s a fine line to walk and BLIND FURY does it exceedingly well.
Fast Facts:
Star Rutger Hauer is probably the greatest Dutch actor of all time where he often starred in the films of director Paul Verhoeven. My favorite of Hauer’s foreign movies is SOLDIER OF ORANGE.
ZATOICHI CHALLENGED, the inspiration for BLIND FURY, stars legendary Japanese actor Shintaro Katsu as a blind masseuse named Zatoichi. Katsu would play this amazing character in 26 films and 100 TV episodes between 1962 and 1989. You owe it to yourself to search out these films.
Former heavyweight boxer Randall “Tex” Cobb plays a heavy in BLIND FURY. In his time, he beat Leon Spinx and went the distance with Larry Holmes.
Australian director Phillip Noyce directed BLIND FURY. He’s an underrated director whose other credits include DEAD CALM, PATRIOT GAMES, and THE BONE COLLECTOR.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing The Master, which ran on NBC from January to August of 1984. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, we meet Max Keller’s father!
Episode 1.11 “Failure to Communicate”
(Dir by Sidney Hayers, originally aired on May 4th, 1984)
This week’s episode of TheMaster opens with McAllister (Lee Van Cleef) teaching Max (Tim Van Patten) how to fight even while blindfolded. McAllister explains that, when one’s sight is taken away, the other senses become even stronger. Hmmm…. I wonder if this will prove to be relevant to their next adventure?
Having apparently given up on trying to find McAllister’s daughter (not that they ever seemed to be trying that hard to begin with), Max and McAllister head to Los Angeles so that Max can visit his father. Max’s father, Patrick (Doug McClure), has been estranged from Max ever since the death of Max’s mother and older brother. However, under McAllister’s guidance, Max has learned the importance of forgiveness.
However, before Max can drop in on his father, he and McAllister have to rescue Kathy Hunter (Ashley Ferrare), who is being chased by three men in a cemetery. McAllister is impressed when Kathy uses some martial arts skills of her own to fight off the men. (Kathy explains that she has been in training for six years.) McAllister takes Kathy home to her father, a wealthy bunker named Jason Hunter (J.D. Cannon). Max, meanwhile, goes to his father’s law office.
However, Patrick is not at his office. Instead, Max meets Patrick’s administrative assistant, Laura Crane (Rebecca Holden). Laura is blind but, as we saw at the start of the program, that just means that all of her other senses are now superhuman. As soon as she meets Max, she knows that he recently stopped off at a gas station and that he drives a van. All it takes is for her to touch his face for her to realize that she is Patrick’s son.
Patrick, unfortunately, is not doing too well. He is now an alcoholic and he’s more likely to be found in the local cocktail lounge than in court. He’s in danger of losing his license and he’s also struggling financially. In fact, at the cocktail bar, Patrick is meeting with Straker (Marc Alaimo), one of the men who previously tried to abduct Kathy in the cemetery. Straker is blackmailing Patrick into helping with Staker’s next attempt to kidnap Kathy. Of course, when Max arrives at the bar looking for his father, all Hell breaks loose when Max sees the men from the cemetery. Patrick can only watch as Max and a late-arriving McAllister chase the men out of the bar.
After the bar fight, Max and Patrick have a tense meeting at Patrick’s office. Max accuses his father of being a bitter drunk. Patrick says that Max is irresponsible. Patrick tells Max to get out of his life. Meanwhile, McAllister escorts Laura back to her apartment. Okassa (Sho Kosugi) shows up and we get yet another fight, this time between Sho Kosugi and Lee Van Cleef’s very busy stunt double.
The next day, Patrick, Laura, McAllister, and Max all end up at a reception for Kathy. Patrick spots the three kidnappers at the reception and, having had a change of heart, attempts to lead Kathy outside to safety. However, this just leads to both Patrick and Kathy being kidnapped. Straker calls Kathy’s father and demands a $3,000,000 ransom but, fortunately, Laura smelled cemetery dirt on the men who grabbed Kathy so Max and McAllister head back to the cemetery, break into a church, and manage to rescue both Kathy and Patrick!
Yay! I guess the episode’s over, right?
Nope, not even close.
While Max and McAllister are rescuing Patrick and Kathy, Straker is busy kidnapping Laura. Straker then calls Kathy’s father and announces that he still expects to get his 3 million or “your lawyer’s secretary gets it!” Kathy’s father is like, “Why would I pay 3 million dollars for someone who I don’t even know?,” which is kind of a fair question even if it’s not a popular one. McAllister, however, tells Kathy’s father that it’s important to take care of everyone, even the strangers.
Patrick finally breaks down and admits that he was a part of the plot to kidnap Kathy. He tells Max and McAllister that the man behind the plot is actually Paul Stillwell (Mark Goddard), who is Jason Hunter’s head of security. (This seems familiar….) Patrick also explains that Stillwell is holding Laura prisoner on the Princess Louise, a decommissioned cruise ship that has been turned into a floating restaurant.
Accompanied by Patrick, Max and McAllister go to the ship. Unfortunately, Okassa pops up out of nowhere and gets into another fight with Lee Van Cleef’s stunt double so it falls to Patrick and Max to rescue Laura. (Patrick suddenly turns out to have some martial arts skills as well, which is a bit odd considering that Patrick is a middle-aged, overweight, out-of-shape, alcoholic attorney.) The bad guys try to outsmart Max by turning out all the lights on the boat but Laura is able to use her supersenses to help Max beat up Straker’s men in the dark. Laura is rescued and the bad guys are sent to prison!
As for Patrick, the Hunter family decides not to press charges because they understand that Patrick was being blackmailed. Swearing that he’s going to live his life the right way from now on, Patrick pours out his last remaining liquor bottle. Hooray!
This was one of those episodes that was a bit too busy for its own good. Rather than have Max and McAllister fight against worthy opponents, this episode just had Max and McAllister continually defeat the same three idiots over and over again and you have to wonder why it never seemed to occur to the bad guys to change their strategy when it came to whole kidnapping thing as opposed to repeating the same thing over and over again. With all of those kidnappings and rescues, there really wasn’t much time left for the emotional heart of the story, which should have been Max mending his relationship with his father. Considering how much of this series has focused on Max and McAllister’s family issues, it was a bit anti-climatic that Max’s real father just turned out to be some drunk who was being blackmailed. At least some of the fight scenes were well-choreographed and Rebecca Holden did a good job as Laura Crane, even if the character herself was occasionally too flawless and perfect to be believed.
Next week, maybe McAllister will finally remember that he’s supposed to be looking for his daughter. We’ll see!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing The Master, which ran on NBC from January to August of 1984. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, McAllister and Max head to Washington, D.C.!
Episode 1.9 “Kunoichi”
(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on April 9th, 1984)
The 9th episode of The Master opens by showing us what Okasa (Sho Kosugi) has been doing since coming to America to track down and kill his former teacher, John Peter McAllister (Lee Van Cleef). Okasa has been training an apprentice of his own. The apprentice ninja is always seen while wearing a light gray ninja uniform, the better to keep the apprentice’s identity a secret until halfway through the episode.
Meanwhile, McAllister and Max (Tim Van Patten) are in Washington, D.C. As McAllister explains it, he was good friends with Brian Elkwood (Jack Kelly) when they both served in the Army together. During the Korean War, they were both held in the same POW camp and they escaped together. (This, of course, goes against McAllister’s previous backstory, which was that he left the Army after World War II and spent the next 40 years hidden away in Japan.) Elkwood is now an important advisor to the President. Apparently, Elkwood sent McAllister a letter informing him that a spy known as The Hawk was threatening his life so McAllister has come to Washington to protect him. (How exactly McAllister received a letter when he and Max are constantly driving around the country in search of McAllister’s daughter is not explained.)
At the Elkwood estate, Brian Elkwood tells his assistant, Allison Grant (Kelly Harmon), that he has been receiving letters from John Peter McAllister in which McAllister has threatened to kill him. Allison argues that McAllister has always been Elkwood’s friend but Elkwood says that people can change. Elkwood’s head of security, Ron Gordon (Rick Hill), is concerned not only about McAllister but also about uncovering the identity of The Hawk.
Or at least, that’s what Gordon claims. A few scenes later, we discover that Gordon actually is The Hawk and that he’s hired Okasa to assassinate Elkwood. Okasa is planning on framing McAllister for the assassination. The assassination will be carried about his apprentice, who we learn is close to Elkwood. The episode tries to build up a lot of suspense over who Okasa’s apprentice actually is but it’s actually pretty easy to figure out. Elkwood is not the apprentice because he’s the target. Gordon is the not apprentice because he’s the Hawk. There’s only one other guest star on this episode so obviously, the apprentice is Allison. Myself, I’m just confused as to when Okasa’s mission went from personally killing McAllister to framing him for murder.
Eventually, McAllister is able to convince Elkwood that he didn’t write the threatening letters but a sudden attack of Okasa’s apprentice leaves Elkwood hospitalized and McAllister arrested for attempted murder. Fortunately, Max is able to use his ninja training to help McAllister escape from jail and they manage to not only prevent the second attempt on Elkwood’s life but they also expose both Gordon and Allison as being enemies of the state. Yay!
This is one of those episodes where everyone, with the exception of Sho Kosugi, steps to the side and lets their stunt doubles do most of the work. There’s a lot of fights but they are all awkwardly choreographed and framed, probably in an attempt to keep the audience from noticing that Lee Van Cleef’s stunt person was notably thinner and more athletic than Lee was. As far as episodes of The Master are concerned, this was not a bad one but it still ultimately leaves the viewer feeling that it could have been so much better.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing The Master, which ran on NBC from January to August of 1984. The show can be found on Tubi!
After spending last week in Las Vegas, John Peter McAllister (Lee Van Cleef) and Max Keller (Tim Van Patten) drive Max’s van across the country in search of McAllister’s daughter.
Episode 1.6 “Fat Tuesday”
(Dir by Sidney Hayes, originally aired on March 9th, 1984)
This episode opens not with a scene of Max Keller in training but instead with Okasa (Sho Kosugi) visiting a dojo in Las Vegas. The master of the dojo explains that he does know where John Peter McAllister is but that he will not tell Okasa because he is not sure that Okasa is actually a former student of McAllister’s. Okasa responds by 1) fighting every student at the dojo and 2) proving that, unlike Lee Van Cleef, Sho Kosugi didn’t need a stunt double for his scenes. Having proven that he trained under the legendary McAllister, Okasa is informed that McAllister and Max Keller are in New Orleans.
That’s right! This week, we’re in the Big Easy!
Of course, any show that takes place in New Orleans has to take place during Mardi Gras. This episode is full of stock footage of the Mardi Gras celebrations but, at the same time, we never see McAllister or Max taking part in any of them. In fact, other than a trip to a jazz club and a fight on a dock, McAllister and Max do very little that one would normally expect to see a visitor doing in New Orleans. New Orleans is one of the most distinctive city in the U.S. but, in this episode of The Master, it might as well be Houston.
McAllister and Max are in New Orleans because a reporter named Eve Michaels (Susan Kase) has been writing a series of stories about how a wealthy businessman named Beaumont (Robert Pine) has been smuggling drugs into the city and selling weapons to Middle Eastern terror groups. In her stories, Eve claims that her source is named Terri McAllister. Could Eve’s source also be John Peter McAllister’s daughter?
Eve, The Reporter
No, she’s not. However, it’s not just a case of mistaken identity. As Eve eventually confesses to Max, Terri McAllister is a name that she assigned to a source that she made up. It turns out that Eve never had a source for her stories about Beaumont but apparently, Beaumont is such a shady character that it was easy for Eve to imagine what Beaumont was probably doing. Because Eve’s made-up story was too close to the truth, Beaumont kidnapped and killed Eve’s friend. That just made Eve even more determined to make up additional lies, all of which turned out to be true. As crazy as that sounds, what’s even crazier is that neither McAllister nor Max are particularly upset to discover that they’re no closer to finding the real Terri. Indeed, McAllister seems to find the whole thing rather amusing which makes me wonder if he really cares about Terri or not.
Beaumont, the bad guy
Of course, Max and McAllister are also busy proving the Beaumont is a criminal. They crash Beaumont’s Mardi Gras party. McAllister wears his ninja costume. Max dresses up like a …. well, I guess he’s supposed to be a pirate.
Okasa also shows up at the party, also dressed as a ninja. In fact, this episode’s saving grace is that it features more of Okasa (and Sho Kosugi’s determined performance in the role) than any episode so far. Not only do McAllister and Okasa fight at the party but they have a later confrontation at a park. What’s interesting about this scene is that McAllister isn’t in his ninja uniform so Lee Van Cleef’s stunt double was required to put on a really phony looking bald cap for the fight scenes. Needless to say, the fight scenes are filmed in long shot and McAllister never faces the camera.
Along with fighting Okasa, McAllister also faces off against two of Beaumont’s men. In this fight scene, Van Cleef is actually shown throwing a punch and kick but he does so in slow motion and we don’t really see him making contact with anyone.
Oh, Lee!
This was a fairly generic episode. The most disappointing thing about it is that it didn’t really have any New Orleans flair to it. As well, the plot depended on a huge amount of coincidence and character stupidity. (Just imagine if Beaumont had just threatened to sue Eve for libel, as opposed to sending his hired goons to kidnap her.) Lee Van Cleef came across as being a bit tired and cranky in this episode. To his credit, Tim Van Patten tried to inject some energy and some humor with his pirate disguise. It didn’t work but at least he tried.
Next week: Max and McAllister take on an evil trucking company!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing The Master, which ran on NBC from January to August of 1984. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, The Master teams up with an old enemy.
Episode 1.4 “Hostages”
(Dir by Ray Austin, originally aired on February 10th, 1984)
“Hi, I’m Max Keller….”
This episode of The Master opens with Max (Timothy Van Patten) flying high above California in a motorized hang glider. Apparently, this is the latest part of Max’s ninja training, though I have to wonder where the hang glider came from and whether or not being able to use a hang glider is a specific ninja skill. The more I think about it, the more it seems that McAllister (Lee Van Cleef) is just leading Max on for his own amusement.
Max spots a woman (Jennifer Runyon, who later took over the role of Marcia Brady in A Very Brady Christmas) who is sitting behind the wheel of an out-of-control car. Apparently, the brakes have failed and the car will soon careen over the side of a cliff! Max swoops down and rescues the woman, minute before her car crashes and explodes.
The woman is Alice Clayton, the extremely talkative daughter of U.S. Senator Sam Clayton (Robert Dowdell). Don’t worry, no one was trying to kill her. The brakes just failed on their own. A grateful Alice invites Max and McAllister to come to a party that the senator is throwing at his hillside mansion.
Soon, Max and McAllister are wearing tuxedos and hanging out at the party. A CIA agent named Malory (one-time Bond star, George Lazenby) recognizes McAllister and accuses him of running a “subversive ninja school.” Meanwhile, by an amazing coincidence, Okasa (Sho Kosugi) — McAllister’s former student who has taken a vow to kill him — also happens to be at the party. He even takes the time to throw a ninja star at McAllister.
But that’s not all! The party is also crashed by a group of terrorists, lead by Serena (Randi Brooks) and Castile (David McCallum). The terrorists kidnaps Alice, her father, and the wives of several European diplomats. The head of the CIA (Monte Markham) orders McAllister and Malory to set aside their differences and to rescue the hostages. Max also decides to help which means that the hang glider makes another appearance as Max soars above the terrorist compound.
Lee Van Cleef’s stunt double gets quite a workout in this episode of The Master. Not only do Okasa and McAllister have a brief fight but McAllister also gets to take on an entire compound full of terrorists. Of course, McAllister wears his full of ninja uniform while doing all of this, all the better to hopefully keep us from noticing that Lee Van Cleef isn’t the one doing all of the kicking and hitting. And I will say that, in this episode, the fights were fairly well-done. The plot was predictable but the fights were probably about as exciting as you could hope from a network television show that aired in the 80s.
Other than the fights, the best thing about this episode was the chance to see George Lazenby playing a character who was Bond in everything but the name. Lazenby himself has said that one of the reasons he struggled with the role of James Bond was because he was too young when he starred in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. In this episode of The Master, Lazenby is older and a bit more weathered and he’s totally believable as a spy who is tough but who still enjoys the better things in life. As well, David McCallum does a good job as the cynical terrorist, though his character isn’t really given much to do.
I actually kind of enjoyed this episode of The Master. As opposed to the previous three episodes, it focused on the action and it didn’t really have any slow spots. It was a fun episode.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing The Master, which ran on NBC from January to August of 1984. Almost all nine of the show’s episodes can be found on Tubi!
My original plan was to follow-up Half Nelson by reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares. Unfortunately, Freddy’s Nightmares has been removed from Tubi and it’s not currently streaming anywhere else. Hopefully, some other site will soon feature it or it will eventually return to Tubi and I’ll be able to review the show in the future.
While I was looking for another show to review, I came across The Master. The Master ran for 13 episodes in 1984. It featured Lee Van Cleef as John Peter McAllister, a ninja traveling across America and searching for his daughter. Helping out McAllister is Max Keller, a young drifter who owns a groovy van and who is played by Timothy Van Patten. (Van Patten, who has since become a much in-demand director, is probably best known for playing Stegman in Class of 1984.) Since The Master had a short run and everyone loves ninjas, I decided to add it to our retro television schedule!
Episode 1.1 “Max”
(Dir by Robert Clouse, originally aired on January 20th, 1984)
“My name’s Max Keller and this is how I usually leave a bar.”
So opens the first episode of The Master. The voice over is courtesy Max Keller (Timothy Van Patten), a young drifter who drives across America in a van with a pet hamster named Henry as his main companion. And the way that Max usually leaves a bar is through the front window. In this case, Max is tossed through a window by a bunch of bikers. Max responds by sabotaging all of their bikes so, when they try to chase after him as he drives off in his van, all of the bikers are thrown from their bike and onto the hard pavement of the road. I would think that this would kill most of the bikers but Max doesn’t seem to be too concerned about that. Instead, he just has a good laugh as he drives away. Oh, Max!
Meanwhile, in Japan, John Peter McAllister (Lee Van Cleef), “the man who would change my life,” (to quote Max’s voiceover) is preparing to return to America for the first time in years. McAllister moved to Japan after World War II and is the only American to have been trained in the ninja arts. (Why the ninjas would be so eager to train an American after the way World War II ended is not explained.) McAllister has just found out that he has a daughter who he has never met. (How did he find out? Again, it’s not explained.) He wants to return home so that he can find her. However, Osaka (Sho Kosugi), a former student of McAllister’s, is determined to kill him for breaking the ninja code. McAllister manages to escape Japan with only a slight wound courtesy of a throwing star. Osaka decides to follow him.
Back in America, a young woman named Holly Trumbull (a very young Demi Moore) runs out into the middle of a country highway and is nearly run over by Max. Max stops his van just in time and offers Holly a ride. It turns out that Holly is being pursued by the evil Sheriff Kyle (Bill McKinney). She explains that Sheriff Kyle tried to rape her, which is information that Max just kind of shrugs off. He manages to outrun the Sheriff and takes Holly back to the airport that is managed by her father, Mr. Trumbull (Claude Akins).
Max apparently (I say apparently because the episode’s editing is so ragged that it’s often difficult to tell how much time has passed from one scene to the next) spends a few days working at the airport and trying to date Holly. When he attempts to give Holly a kiss, she backs away from him and explains that she’s still not comfortable with being kissed after nearly being raped the town’s sheriff. “I’m sorry,” she says. Max, being a bit of a jerk, gets annoyed and says, “That makes three of us. Henry was just starting to like you.” After saying that he’s going to go somewhere to see if “my luck improves,” he goes to the local bar to unwind.
Also at the bar is John Peter McAllister! McAllister knows that his daughter came through Mr. Trumbull’s airport and he wants to show her picture to the people in the bar. For some reason, the bartender doesn’t want him to do that. When Sheriff Kyle, who is also in the bar, discovers that McAllister is carrying a samurai sword in his suitcase, the sheriff tries to arrest him. When a bar fight breaks out, Max fights alongside McAllister and they even manage to steal the sword back from the sheriff. Bonded by combat, Max and McAllister become fast friends. Before you know it, Max is agreeing to drive McAllister across the country as long as McAllister trains Max how to be a ninja.
But first, an evil developer named Mr. Christensen (Clu Gulager) is determined to run the Turnbulls off their land. After Christensen is not moved by an impassioned speech by Max and instead tries to blow up the airport, it’s time for Max and McAllister to invade Christensen’s office and fight a bunch of guards. Osaka also shows up at the office so we get a lengthy fight scene between Sho Kosugi and Lee Van Cleef’s stunt double. (McAllister dons his head-to-do ninja costume before doing any fighting, so we don’t actually see his face while he’s doing in any of his amazing ninja moves.) While Osaka and McAllister are fighting, Max defeats Christensen by throwing a ninja star at him and hitting him in the chest. I would think that would be murder but who knows. Maybe the blade narrowly missed Christensen’s heart and he was just unconscious. Or maybe Max’s just a sociopath.
Somehow, this leads to the Turnbulls getting to keep the airport. McAllister and Max drive off together, in search of America.
What a messy episode! Obviously, this episode had to get a lot done in just 48 minutes. It had to introduce Max and McAllister, it had to explain why they were traveling together, and it also had to give them an adventure. I guess I shouldn’t feel surprised that the episode felt a bit rushed but still, there were so many unanswered questions. For instance, why is Max driving across the country in a van? How did McAllister find out that he had a daughter? Why didn’t he know that he had a daughter before hand? Did McAllister’s daughter actually come through the town or not? How did Osaka track down McAllister? Where did Max learn to fight before he met McAllister? Why is McAllister so quick to agree to take Max under his wing? Why is Max so quick to drive a strange old man across the country?
As for the cast, Lee Van Cleef appears to be a bit frail in the role of McAllister. (He would died 5 years after The Master went off the air.) Timothy Van Patten comes across as being bit manic as Max. Personally, I would be worried about getting into a van with Max because he doesn’t really seem to have much impulse control. As for the guest cast, Demi Moore gives a strong performance as Holly but the character vanishes from the episode after finally giving Max a kiss. Claude Akins and Clu Gulager only get a few minutes of screentime and are both stuck with stock roles. Akin is the honest working man while Gulager is the corrupt businessman. Billl McKinny is properly hissable as the bully of a sheriff. And Sho Kosugi looks annoyed with the whole thing.
The first episode was not that promising but who knows! Maybe the show will improve as it goes along. We’ll find out next week!
Last night, I watched the 1988 “action” film, Black Eagle!
Why Was I Watching It?
Last night, I watched Black Eagle as a part of the Monday Action Movie live tweet. Going into the film, I knew that it starred Sho Kosugi and Jean-Claude Van Damme and that was enough for me. As the film started, I was happy to see that it took place in Malta. I spent the summer after I graduated from high school in Europe and I spent a few days visiting Malta, its museums, and especially its beaches. I have good memories of the Malta days and especially the Malta nights.
What Was It About?
I’m not really sure what the film was about. I watched all 100 minutes of it and, as far as I could tell, an American airplane crashed off the coast of Malta so the CIA brought in Ken Tani (Sho Kosugi) to dive into the sea and retrieve something important from the plane. However, a Russian named Andrei (Jean-Claude Van Damme) also wanted whatever it was that was on the plane so he and his people ended up chasing Ken all over Malta, an island that I have visited.
Ken was also on vacation so, when he wasn’t killing people, he was hanging out with his two sons, Brian (Kane Kosugi) and Denny (Shane Kosugi). The CIA helpfully sent along one of their agents, Patricia Parker (Doran Clark), and she acted a sort of nanny while Ken was busy fighting the Russians. Also helping Ken was a Jesuit (Bruce French) who also happened to be an explosive expert. I don’t think the Vatican would approve of a priest blowing up boats and building but everyone knows better than to argue with a Jesuit.
What Worked?
Jean-Claude Van Damme didn’t really do much in this movie but he still looked good and he got to do the splits a few times. In fact, it was kind of funny to watch him actively search out any possible excuse to do a split. I had a lot of fun imagining that Andrei only became an international spy so that he could show off his gymnastic abilities. It’s too bad he missed out on Gymkata.
The Maltese scenery was lovely, even if the film itself was a bit grainy. Have I mentioned that I’ve been to Malta?
What Did Not Work?
Oh, that Sho Kosugi. He was great when he was fighting people and tossing them off of buildings but whenever he had to actually deliver dialogue and try to show emotion …. AGCK! There’s a reason why Sho Kosugi’s most popular American films — Enter the Ninja, Ninja III: The Domination — feature him playing a villain. Even when Kosugi was acting opposite his children, he seemed to be in a fairly bad mood.
At one point, Ken asked the priest how he became an expert in demolitions. “Ever hear of a place called Vietnam,” the Jesuit replied and I groaned as I realized that Ken had made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. If there’s one thing that I understand as a result of being raised Catholic, it’s that you never ask a Jesuit for his origin story unless you’ve got a few hours to kill.
To be honest, the film could have used even more scenes about Malta, a lovely place of which I have many good memories.
Nick Parker (Rutger Hauer) may have lost his sight in Vietnam but he gained something else. With the help of surprisingly friendly villagers, Nick learned how to master his other senses. He also became a proficient and deadly swordsmen. Why would the villagers go out of their way to help an American soldier who, in all probability, they viewed as an intruder?
Does it matter?
Of course not! All that matters is that 1990’s Blind Fury features Rutger Hauer as a blind swordsman who, 20 years after returning home from Vietnam, decides to to go to Florida to pay a visit on his old service buddy, Frank (Terry O’Quinn). Frank, however, has developed a gambling problem and is currently in Reno, Nevada. While Nick is getting to know Frank’s ex-wife, Lynne (Meg Foster), and Frank’s bratty son, Billy (Brandon Call), Slag (Randall “Tex” Cobb) shows up with two corrupt cops. As you can probably guess from his name, Slag is a bad guy. He’s looking for Frank. Nick manages to kill the cops and run off Slag but, in the process, Lynne is killed. With her dying breath, Lynne asks Nick to take Billy to his father. Nick, of course, agrees.
The rest of this fast-paced film follows Nick and Billy as they head across the country. Following them along the way is Slag and his men. Frank has obviously made some pretty big mistakes and gotten on the bad side of some pretty dangerous people and it’s now up to Nick to save Frank, if just so Billy doesn’t end up an orphan. At first, Billy is resentful and does things like demanding a window seat on the bus that they’re taking to Nevada. (As Billy rather rudely puts it, it’s not like Nick has any use for the window.) Billy also laughs when Nick trips in a puddle and then tries to trick Nick into eating a rock. However, Nick soon proves himself to be more than capable of defending both himself and Billy. Soon, Billy is calling him “Uncle Nick” and Nick …. well, Nick still seems to be wondering what he ever did that was so wrong that a part of his punishment was to get stuck with such a little brat. But, that is a part of Nick’s charm.
And, indeed, Nick has a lot of charm. That’s not particularly surprising, given that he’s played by the charismatic Rutger Hauer. Hauer is convincing as both a blind man and a fighter and he bring a lot of sly humor to the role. Nick may be a warrior but he’s definitely a warrior with a certain joie de vivre. Beyond his own talents as an actor, Hauer was just one of those performers who had enough natural athleticism to look totally credible while swinging a sword at his enemies. One of the things that makes Blind Fury so enjoyable is that you never doubt that Hauer could actually do all of the things that we see him do.
Blind Fury is a fast-paced and entertaining film. Director Philip Noyce keeps the action moving quickly and he’s smart enough to avoid getting bogged down with trying to convince the audience that film’s plot makes any more sense than it does. Blind Fury is a B-action movie that’s proud to be a B-action movie and, as a result, it’s a lot of fun. The film ends with a battle between Hauer and Sho Kosugi that is genuinely exciting to watch. It also ends with the promise of a sequel, one that was sadly never made.
As I watched the film tonight (and, with the temperature currently being below freezing and a good deal of ice still being on the ground outside, I definitely enjoyed the escape that the film provided), it occurred to me that I’ve recently viewed many Rutger Hauer films. I’ve seen a few bad films starring Rutger Hauer but I have never seen a bad Rutger Hauer performance. Hauer always gave 100%, regardless of what else might be going on with the movie. That’s why he was a great actor and one who is definitely missed today.
Blind Fury is definitely a very good Rutger Hauer film. Watch it the next time you need to see that, with a little determination, anything is possible.
After his wife and most his family is murdered by a rival clan, ninja Cho Osaki (Sho Kosugi) leaves Japan for the United States. Not only is he leaving his home country but he’s also abandoning his ninja heritage. As he explains to his mother (Grace Oshita), he no longer has any use for the violent old ways. From now on, he just wants to sell dolls!
In America, Cho prospers and his mother continues to teach Cho’s young son, Kane (Kane Kosugi), how to defend himself. When Kane is confronted by a bunch of bullies while walking home from school, he kicks their asses while his grandmother watches approvingly. GO, KANE! Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with a movie that opens with a bunch of obnoxious 11 year-olds getting beaten up by a 9 year-old.
Cho has found success opening art galleries and selling dolls. He’s proven that he doesn’t need to be an elite assassin in order to be happy. However, Cho’s mother doesn’t trust Cho’s business partner, Braden (Arthur Roberts). She says that there’s something obviously evil about Braden but Cho doesn’t agree. Well, it turns out that mom’s right! Braden is evil. He’s using the dolls to smuggle heroin into the country! When the local mob boss (Mario Gallo) refuses to agree to Braden’s terms, Braden decides to wage war on the Mafia. It turns out that Braden is a ninja himself!
When members of the Mafia turning up dead in weird ways, the police bring in a local martial arts instructor named Dave (Keith Vitali). Confused by the murders, Dave decides to consult with a friend of his to determine whether or not a ninja could be responsible. That friend just happens to turn out to be Cho, who confirms that there is obviously a ninja in America but who also refuses to fight that ninja because Cho has abandoned the violence of the past and, as he explains it, he’s got a new art gallery opening soon. Of course, what Cho doesn’t know is that the ninja is his own business partner….
The 1983 film Revenge of the Ninja has an overly complicated plot but the story that it tells is relatively simple. Cho is done being a ninja. Then, his family and his girlfriend Cathy (Ashley Ferrare) end up getting caught in the middle of a turf war between Braden and the Mafia and Cho is forced to break his pledge to lead a life of non-violence. Revenge of the Ninja was produced by Cannon films. It was preceded by Enter the Ninja, which featured Kosugi as a villain who fought Franco Nero, and it was followed by Ninja III: The Domination, in which Kosugi played a ninja assassin whose spirit ended up possessing a young aerobics instructor. Of the three Cannon Ninja films, Revenge of the Ninja is the least interesting, as it doesn’t feature a star as charismatic as Franco Nero or a plot twist as wild as an aerobics instructor getting possessed. Revenge of the Ninja does, however, feature several exciting fight scenes and Sho Kosugi’s athletic prowess goes a long way to making up for the fact that he’s not a particularly expressive actor. Fans of low-budget but kinetic martial arts action should get a kick and a punch out of Revenge of the Ninja.
Finally, Revenge of the Ninja may not be the best ninja film ever made but it is a Cannon Film and therefore, it’s worth watching.
Basically, it tells the story of Christie Ryder (Lucinda Dickey), who appears to have everything that someone could want out of life. Not only does she have a really nice place to live but she also repairs phone lines for a living! (That might not sound glamorous but she lives in California, which means that there’s always a nice view when she’s working.) She also teaches an aerobics class because this film is from 1984 and, in 1984, everyone taught their own aerobics class. At least, that’s the impression that I’ve gotten from watching movies of the era.
Christie only has one problem. She’s been possessed. She hasn’t been possessed by any ordinary old demon, either. Instead, she’s been possessed by a dead ninja. Hanjuro (David Chung) came to America because there were some people on a golf course who needed to be killed. Unfortunately, no sooner had he killed everyone on the back 9 then he found himself surrounded by cops. It took a lot of bullets to take down Hanjuro but down he went. However, his spirit went up and entered Christie’s body.
Now, Christie spends her time teaching aerobics, working on phone lines, and murdering everyone who Hanjuro feels has wrong him. Hanjuro wants to kill all of the cops who shot him. Unfortunately, one of those cops, Billy Secord (Jordan Bennett), is now dating Christie. Once Billy finally figures out why Christie is acting so strangely, he takes her to an exorcist (James Hong) who explains that it’s going to take more than just an ordinary exorcism to defeat the ninja lurking within Christie. It’s going to require the help of another ninja, the noble Goro Yamada (Sho Kosugi). It’s time to go to Japan!
I may not be a huge ninja movie fan (unless, of course, they feature Franco Nero) but I have to say that I absolutely loved Ninja III. That really shouldn’t come as a surprise. This film is such an utterly weird mishmash of tones and genres that there’s no way that I couldn’t love it. It starts out as a typical kung fu film, just to suddenly turn into The Exorcist before then becoming Flashdance before returning to being The Exorcist. Finally, for the last few minutes of the film, it transforms back into a kung fu film. As I watched the film, I found myself thinking about all of the other films throughout history that could have been livened up by a demonic or spiritual possession subplot. For that matter, think about how much more crazy The Exorcist would have been if Father Karras and Father Merrin had been Ninja Karras and NInja Merrin.
Anyway, in all seriousness, Ninja III is exactly what an exploitation film should be. It’s unapologetically strange and over-the-top and it makes absolutely no apologies for being what it is. It’s a film that says, “I’m here to tell a story about a woman possessed by a dead ninja and if that’s not good enough for you, you need to figure out what’s wrong with your heart.” Ninja III is brilliant, wonderful, and definitely a film that you must watch this October. It’s on Prime so go watch it. Do it now.
Through the Shattered Lens 