Here Comes The Bride …. Maybe”

Posted on September 3, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard! We’re expecting you….

Episode 6.15 “The Captain’s Replacement/Sly As A Fox/Here Comes The Bride …. Maybe”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on January 15th, 1983)

First off, before I do anything else, I want to thank Case for covering the last three episodes of The Love Boat for me. The previous month was not an easy one for me or my family and having Case, Brad, and Jeff helping me out with my television reviews really helped out. Thanks, guys. You all did a wonderful job!

As far as this episode goes, I know there’s one question that is on everyone’s mind:

Julie appeared to be moderately coked-up in this episode, though not as much as usual. I’d say on the How Coked Up Was Julie Scale, this episode was right in the middle. Five out of ten.

Julie actually had a bit to do during this episode. Captain Donahue (McLean Stevenson) was on the ship, technically so that he could watch and learn from Captain Stubing. Gopher, however, suspected that Donahue was planning on replacing Stubing as the captain of the Pacific Princess. Gopher, Julie, Doc, Isaac, and Vicki all decided to pretend to be crazy in order to convince Donahue to stay away from the Pacific Princess. Julie, for instance, started to obsessively practice her “welcome aboard” greeting. I’m not sure what was so crazy about that. As far as I can tell, Julie’s entire job consists of greeting people when they board the ship. It seems like it would be a good idea to get some practice in. Still, Donahue is freaked out enough that he backs off from trying to steal Stubing’s position. Captain Stubing is relieved and so is the rest of the crew. Maybe they came across an episode of Hello, Larry and realized what was in store for them if McLean Stevenson became the new captain.

Julie also served as an advisor to Mary Frances Bellflower (Shelley Fabares), who boarded the ship with two suitors. Ben Phillips (Frank Bonner) and Henry Greg (Arte Johnson) spent the cruise bickering over who would make the best husband for Mary Frances. Mary Frances assumed that the two men only cared about her because she was rich and she owned a valuable foxhound. However, by the end of the cruise, Mary Frances realized that both of the men sincerely loved her. She promised Julie that she would return to the ship in the future with the man she had chosen. Julia, her nose red, suggested that Mary Frances give bigamy a try. Everyone had a good laugh.

Finally, Doc arranged for his old friend, Erica Dupont (Jenilee Harrison), to get a job serving drinks on the cruise. Erica, the daughter of an autoworker, needed the job so that she could help pay for her wedding to Robert Wallingford (Stephen Shortridge). Erica confessed that Robert and his parents both thought she was rich because her last name was Dupont. Erica immediately got to work serving drinks but — oh no! — Robert’s snooty parents (William Windom and Jane Wyatt) just happened to be on the cruise! Erica tried to avoid them but eventually, they saw Erica sharing a friendly dance with Doc and they got the wrong idea. They called Robert, who flew down to Mexico to meet the boat. Erica finally confessed that, while her last name was Dupont, that did not make her a Du Pont. The Wallingfords were disappointed to learn that Erica was not related to future murderer John du Pont. Still, Robert forgave Erica and I guess they got married after the cruise. Who knows? I would think that starting an engagement with a lie would be a problem for most people but whatever.

This cruise was mildly enjoyable. Jenilee Harrison and Bernie Kopell had a likable chemistry and it was hard not to feel that Erica should have just dumped Robert and declared her love for Doc. As for everyone acting crazy to fool McLean Stevenson, you could tell that the regulars were having fun. The storyline about Mary Frances and her two suitors was fairly weak but the other two stories made up for it.

I’m glad that I came aboard.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 4.12 “The Heroine/The Warrior”

Posted on February 6, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion.

Today, I discovered that the YouTube account that was home to every episode of Fantasy Island has been taken down. This frustrated me. Fantasy Island is no longer on Tubi or Prime. In both cases, the original has been pushed to the side to make room for the reboot. So now, Daily Motion appears to be the only platform to have every episode. Bleh! Daily Motion includes so many commercials that it takes forever to get through one hour-long show.

*Sigh*

That said, I’m dedicated to this show. If I have to watch it on Daily Motion, I’ll shudder and do it.

Episode 4.12 “The Heroine/The Warrior”

(Dir by George McCowan, originally aired on January 24th, 1981)

This week, two more guests come to Fantasy Island with a desire to discover and prove who they really are.

For instance, Bob Graham (James MacArthur, who I just previously saw on The Love Boat) may seem like a rather mild-mannered fellow but he’s actually obsessed with the martial arts and his fantasy is to challenge and defeat the world’s greatest martial artist, Kwong Soo Luke (played by Mako). Bob wants to impress his wife, Linda (Shelley Fabares). Personally, I think it’s kind of sad that Bob thinks that beating someone up is the only way that he can impress his wife, especially since Linda seems to be pretty impressed with her husband already. Mr. Roarke also explains to Bob that Kwong Soo Luke traditionally kills his opponents after he defeats them. Again, you have to wonder why anyone would volunteer to go up against Kwong Soo Luke.

Anyway, this fantasy suffers from the fact that we know, from the start, that there’s no way that Bob is going to die on Fantasy Island. But again, there’s no way that, after all of the build-up, Bob isn’t going to get his fight. As a result, Bob’s survival and his victory are pretty much guaranteed. It brings Bob and Linda closer together but I get the feeling that divorce is still waiting for them in the future. “Remember that time you took me to an island and then spent the whole time fighting some guy I didn’t even know?” Bob better get used to hearing that.

Meanwhile, when Florence Richmond (Mary Ann Mobley) steps off the plane, Tattoo immediately guesses that she must be a teacher. Roarke explains that Florence is actually a writer, one who has had a good deal of success with a series of trashy romance novels. However, the prim and proper Florence feels that she’s never experienced a grand romance of her own so her fantasy is to be the heroine of one of her own books. Roarke grants her fantasy and soon, Florence is falling in love with the enigmatic and possibly duplicitous Brent Hampton (Cesare Danova) and nearly getting raped by the vile Porter Brockhill (Robert Loggia). Florence is shocked to discover that her novels take place in a world where lust is more important than love and true romance does not exist. Suddenly, Florence understands why her latest books were so uninspired and she leaves Fantasy Island determined to write about true romance.

This storyline featured nice performances from Mary Ann Mobley, Cesare Danova, and Robert Loggia. For me, it was mostly interesting as an examination of a fantasy that I’m sure every writer has, the fantasy of living inside of one of their own stories.

Next week …. hopefully, someone will have been kind enough to upload the show back onto YouTube!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 3.27 “Invisible Maniac/September Song/Peekaboo”

Posted on January 24, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, The Love Boat has a very special passengers!

Episode 3.27 “Invisible Maniac/September Song/Peekaboo”

(Dir by George Tyne, originally aired on April 19th, 1980)

This week, the pop cultural stars align as a young David Hasselhoff boards the Love Boat!

Hasselhoff plays Tom Bell, a 20-something attorney who is dating a 30-something attorney named Cathy (Shelley Fabares). Cathy insists that they keep their romance a secret due to the age difference. She doesn’t want people to think that she’s a cradle robber or an older woman with a gigolo. (Cathy might also want to consider that she’s a senior partner at the firm while Tom is just a junior partner.) Tom doesn’t care about the age difference. In fact, he wants to marry Cathy!

And yes, they do eventually get married. Tom even has his grandparents waiting for them when the boat docks in Los Angeles so that they can act as witnesses. There’s not really any suspense as to whether or not Tom and Cathy will end up married because this is The Love Boat, the show that combined the swinging culture of the 70s with the morality of the 50s. The Hoff is his usual dramatic but self-aware self while Shelley Fabares is endlessly likable. They’re a cute couple and, minor age difference aside, they just look like they belong together. It was a sweet story.

As for the other passengers:

Fay Piermont (Peggy Cass) is married to Bill (Gordon Jump). Bill’s a nice guy but Fay fears that they’ve become a boring couple. She wants to be an exciting couple and she’s figured out that the way to do this is to get a makeover, buy a new wardrobe, and then toss her glasses and all of her frumpy clothes overboard. (At first, both Julie and Vicki are worried that Fay is planning on throwing herself overboard. One would think that would be cause for ship-wide alarm but Julie and Vicki just check on Fay occasionally to make sure she’s still alive.) At first, Bill is freaked out by Fay’s new attitude but, eventually, he comes to accept it and Fay comes to realize that she loves Bill, even if he is a bit reserved. This is the type of story that The Love Boat did frequently. Fay and Bill are a nice couple, even if they’re no Tom and Cathy.

Finally, Isaac is reunited with a former high school classmate, a model named Janet (BernNadette Stanis). Janet is upset that her husband (Clifton Davis) is more into sports than romance so she tries to make him jealous by lying about what a womanizer Isaac was in high school. Gopher overhears and tells Isaac that Janet referred to him as being “all hands” in high school. Now, most people would understand that Janet was just trying to make her husband jealous but Isaac somehow becomes convinced that he is a womanizer but he just can’t remember his actions because he suffers from dissociative identity disorder and he even goes to Doc Bricker for help! Why would Isaac believe that? It makes no sense that Isaac — cool, calm Isaac — would suddenly be so stupid. This is something that would happen to Gopher not Isaac.

That one silly storyline aside, this was a pleasant cruise on The Love Boat. I’m glad things worked out for Tom and Cathy. Seriously, the world is so lucky to have The Hoff.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 3.8 “The Handyman/Tattoo’s Romance”

Posted on August 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

This week, on Fantasy Island, Tattoo falls in love!

Episode 3.8 “The Handyman/Tattoo’s Romance”

(Dir by Lawrence Dobkin, originally aired on November 10th, 1979)

Following the death of his wife last week, Mr. Roarke is once again back to being his usual cranky, Tattoo-hating self. And this week, Mr. Roarke has a special reason to be annoyed with his assistant. Tattoo has gone rogue!

As Mr. Roarke explains it, he has rejected the fantasy of Donna May Calloway (Audrey Landers) twice. Donna May says that she wants to be a country-western superstar but Mr. Roarke doesn’t feel that she has the talent and he also feel that Donna May is being pushed into it by her aunt, Ellie Simpson (Carolyn Jones). Ellie had to give up her own musical dreams when she was younger and now she’s forced them onto Donna May. However, Tattoo takes it upon himself to bring Donna May to the Island and to get her an audition with country-western producer, Colonel Hank Sutton (Richard Paul). Mr. Roarke correctly perceives that Tattoo is being blinded by his own crush on Donna May.

Col. Sutton is not impressed with Donna May’s audition. (It doesn’t help that Ellie pressures Donna May to sing a corny song about losing her boyfriend to her best friend.) Still, Ellie is convinced that Tattoo can somehow talk Col. Sutton into giving Donna May another chance. Ellie tells Donna May to use Tattoo’s attraction towards her for own purposes. Though reluctant, Donna May starts to flirt with Tattoo.

Tattoo may be in love but Mr. Roarke is enraged. He confronts Ellie and Donna May in their cabin and tells them that he will not allow them to manipulate Tattoo. (Much as with last week, Ricardo Montalban is obviously energized by having the chance to play Mr. Roarke as being something other than just an enigmatic host.) Ellie goes to Tattoo and lies, claiming that Mr. Roarke told them that Tattoo is not good enough for Donna May. What a bitch!

This leads to — and I’m not joking here — a sincerely touching scene between Mr. Roarke and Tattoo. Tattoo tells Mr. Roarke what Ellie said. Mr. Roarke replies that what worries him more than Ellie saying that is the thought that Tattoo might believe it. Tattoo says that he doesn’t but that he loves Donna May and that he’s going to leave Fantasy Island to be with her. By most accounts (including their own), Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize did not get along on the set but you’d never guess it from this wonderfully performed scene. Both of them deliver their lines with such sincerity and emotional vulnerability that it’s impossible not to be moved by their friendship.

Mr. Roarke confronts Donna May and Ellie in the Fantasy Island recording studio. (Yes, Fantasy Island has its own recording studio.) Donna May is stricken with guilt when she hears that Tattoo is giving up Fantasy Island for her. She tells Ellie that she’s going to live her own life from now on. After Ellie leaves in a huff, Donna May says that she must find Tattoo and apologize to him.

Suddenly, Tattoo reveals that he’s been in the recording the booth the whole time. “Apologize to the boss, first,” Tattoo orders, revealing that his first allegiance will always be to Mr. Roarke. Donna May and Tattoo then sing a country song together. No, I’m not making that up. It’s weird but kind of sweet.

As for the other fantasy, it’s far less interesting. Holly Ryan (Future Congressman Sonny Bono, who was a bit of a regular on both this show and The Love Boat) is an accountant who witnessed a murder committed by a gangster named Spider Sloat (Joey Forman). Holly’s fantasy is to hide out from Spider and, when Spider and his men suddenly show up on the Island, Holly ends up doing just that at an orphanage run by Emily Perkins (Shelley Fabares). Holly falls in love with Emily, takes care of the orphans, and puts on a dress when Spider comes looking for him. It’s a thoroughly lightweight fantasy that largely serves to remind us that no one nicknamed Spider can be convincingly intimidating.

As silly as the second fantasy may be, the first fantasy makes up for it. Much as with last week’s episode, both Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize give such strong performances that this silly little show actually brought a tear to my mismatched eyes.

Will next week be as good? We’ll find out!

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 2.14 “Séance/The Treasure”

Posted on March 21, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Eve Plumb and Leslie Nielsen visit Fantasy Island!

Episode 2.14 “Séance/The Treasure”

(Dir by Larry Stewart, originally aired on January 13th, 1979)

Tattoo is a horse thief! He claims that he just found the horse while wandering around the island but later, he comes across a wanted poster that has his picture on it and the declaration that Tattoo is wanted dead or alive. Mr. Roarke gets a good laugh out of that and even repeats the words, “Dead or alive,” as if he’s realizing that he’s finally found a way to get rid of his assistant. Fortunately, Mr. Roarke has a change of heart and, at the end of the episode, buys the horse for Tattoo. Awwwww!

As for this week’s guests, Joe Capos (George Maharis) is a fisherman who has always wondered what it would be like to be a millionaire. Joe and his wife, Eva (Shelley Fabares), come to the island and find themselves set up in a house that looks exactly like the one where Joe grew up. One day, Joe goes out fishing and what should he find in his net but a gold statue of Triton blowing his horn! It’s a valuable artifact, one that could make Joe a millionaire if it is found to be authentic. Soon, Joe is surrounded by a bunch of people who are hoping to be on his good side when he becomes rich. He’s the most popular man on the island! Unfortunately, Joe is having so much fun being rich and popular that his neglected wife leaves him. Joe knows that the only way to get Eva back is to return the statue to the ocean but will he have the courage to give up wealth and fame for love?

Meanwhile, Eve Plumb plays — wait a minute, Eve Plumb? Just last week, Robert Reed was on the show, playing a method actor who thought he was a vampire. Now, the original Jan Brady has come to the island. I wonder if the entire Brady Bunch will eventually make it to Fantasy Island?

Plumb is playing Clare Conti, a young woman who suspects that her twin brother was murdered. In order to prove it, her fantasy is to have a séance and contact him. Her entire family comes to the Island for the séance, including Uncle Victor (Leslie Nielsen). This episode is Neilsen’s second appearance on the Fantasy Island and, again, he’s playing a very serious and a very somber character but, because he’s so deadpan about it, it’s hard not hear everything that he says as being a joke. It’s always great fun to see Nielsen playing humorless authority figures in the days before he became a comedy superstar. The only thing that would make this episode better would be if Nielsen turned out to be the murderer but sadly, he’s not. As for the rest of the fantasy, the séance scenes manage to strike the right balance between being creepy and being campy. Clare’s dead brother yells a lot but I guess that’s what you do when you’re trying to communicate from the beyond.

This was an enjoyable episode, featuring good performances from the guest stars and fantasies that were intriguing without demanding too much from the audience. This trip to Fantasy Island was more than worth it.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 2.4 “Best Seller/The Tomb”

Posted on January 10, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Fantasy Island has a desert? Read on to find out more.

Episode 2.4 “Best Seller/The Tomb”

(Dir by George McCowan, originally aired on October 14th, 1978)

Fantasy Island can be a strange place.

Just consider the fantasy of Neville Marlowe (Barry Sullivan). Marlowe is an archeologist who has devoted his life to seeking the tomb of a lost Egyptian pharaoh who is believed to have been King Tut’s twin brother. His fantasy is to finally find the tomb and to explore it with his wife (Shelley Fabares) and his associate (David Opatoshu). He wants to do this even though the tomb, if it does exist, is said to be cursed.

Mr. Roarke informs Marlowe that he’s in luck. There’s an archeological dig currently taking place on the island and there’s a good chance that it might finally lead to the discovery of the tomb….

Now, this brings up some interesting issues. First off, the dig is taking place in the desert. Since when has Fantasy Island, a tropical paradise, had a desert? Secondly, even if you accept that idea that Fantasy Island is home to a large desert, why exactly would it also be home to the tomb of an Egyptian pharaoh? Though the show always kept it a bit vague as to just where exactly the island was located, it’s always been suggested that it’s near Hawaii. The actual natives of the island (as opposed to Mr. Roarke and Tattoo) all appear to be Polynesian. When the guests get off the plane at the start of each episode, they’re given a lei and a tropical drink. My point is that there’s never been anything about the show that would suggest that Fantasy Island is anywhere near Egypt. Certainly, it’s possible that an Egyptian ship may have landed at Fantasy Island at some point in the past, just as it’s possible that ancient Egyptians also landed in South America. But still, there’s no reason why a pharaoh would be buried on Fantasy Island as opposed to along the banks of the Nile.

It makes no sense but, for whatever reason, the tomb is indeed on Fantasy Island. Entering the tomb leads to Marlowe’s wife having several nightmares about being wrapped up like a mummy. It’s nicely creepy but it doesn’t lead to anything. Because Marlowe decides to send the artifacts to Egypt as opposed to sending them to a British museum. he is spared the curse.

Meanwhile, Barney Hunter (Desi Arnaz, Jr.) is a bookstore clerk who suffers from crippling shyness. His fantasy is to be a best selling author so Mr. Roarke informs him that he is now the author of the world’s most popular book about sex and, as a result, hundreds of his fans are coming to the island to meet him. The problem with that, of course, is that Barney is a virgin. So, you have to wonder why Mr. Roarke would make Barney the world’s leading expert on sex when he doesn’t know anything about it. My guess is that Mr. Roarke thought it would be funny but it’s actually kind of mean-spirited. Anyway, Barney meets Angela (Maureen McCormick), who is also a virgin. They fall in love but Angela’s mother (Gloria DeHaven) refuses to allow Angela to see a man who has written a “filthy book.” Again, it’s hard not to feel that Roarke is having a little fun at Barney’s expense. Fortunately, things work out in the end and that’s good. Arnaz and McCormick were a cute couple.

Finally, Tattoo entered a jingle contest and won! Unfortunately, it turned out that first prize was a trip to Fantasy Island. Mr. Roarke had a good laugh about that one and I have to admit that I did too. Fantasy Island just has a way of sweeping you up in all of its silliness.

Rockin’ in the Film World #16: Herman’s Hermits in HOLD ON! (MGM 1966)

Posted on April 21, 2018 by gary loggins

cracked rear viewer

In yesterday’s ‘One Hit Wonders’ post on the Blues Magoos, I told you Dear Readers my first concert was headlined by Herman’s Hermits, five non-threatening teens from Manchester, UK – Karl Greene, Barry Whitwam, Derek ‘Lek’ Leckenby, Keith Hopwood, and lead singer Peter Blair Denis Bernard Noone, known as Herman for his slight resemblance to cartoon character Sherman (of “Mr. Peabody and…’ fame). Their infectious, peppy pop rock and Herman’s toothy grin made the teenyboppers scream with delight, with hits like “I’m Into Something Good”, “Mrs. Brown You’ve Got a Lovely Daughter”, and “I’m Henry the VIII, I Am”. Even parents liked The Hermits, and they seemed destined to follow in the cinematic footsteps of The Beatles. MGM, who released their records stateside, concocted a ball of fluff for Herman and the lads called HOLD ON!, and any resemblance between that title and The Fab Four’s HELP! is strictly not

View original post 597 more words

A Movie A Day #341: Hot Pursuit (1987, directed by Steven Lisberger)

Posted on December 16, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

When high school student Dan Bartlett (John Cusack) is late arriving at the airport, he finds himself watching as the plane taking his girlfriend (Wendy Gazelle) and her parents (Monte Markham and Shelley Fabares) to the Caribbean takes off without him. Dan catches the next available flight and tries to track down his girlfriend and her family. Helping him out is a Ganja-smoking islander (Keith David) and a crusty sea captain (Robert Loggia). Complicating matters is that Dan’s girlfriend has been kidnapped by pirates (Jerry Stiller and his son, Ben)!

John Cusack got his start appearing in dopey 80s teen comedies and Hot Pursuit shows why he eventually declared that he would never appear in another one. Hot Pursuit relies on the idiot plot. If everyone in the movie didn’t act like an idiot, there wouldn’t be much of a movie. Cusack seems bored in his role, only waking up towards the end of the movie when he gets to pick up a machine gun and blow away the pirates’ hideout. (Cusack even gets to do a Rambo-style yell while riddling the building with bullets.) This was Ben Stiller’s film debut and he has a few funny scenes. The movie probably would have worked better if Stiller and Cusack had switched roles.

One final note; Hot Pursuit was produced by Pierre David, who also produced several of David Cronenberg’s early films. It’s probably not a coincidence that Wendy Gazzelle’s character is named Lori Cronenberg.