Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 5.2 “Redemption In Blood”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Sonny Burnett continues his reign of terror!

Episode 5.2 “Redemption in Blood”

(DIr by Paul Krasny, originally aired on November 11th, 1988)

When last we checked in with Miami Vice, Sonny thought he was a drug lord named Sonny Burnett and he was firing his gun at Tubbs, who he had just recognized as a cop.  This episode reveals that Sonny didn’t shoot Tubbs.  Instead, he aimed at a wall, firing while Tubbs made his escape.

Working with the psychotic Cliff King (Matt Frewer), Sonny takes over his late boss’s drug empire and continue to fight a war against El Gato (Jon Polito).  El Gato is meant to be a “flamboyant” drug dealer, which is a polite way of saying that Polito overacts through the entire episode.

The show hedges its bets by having Cliff commit all of the murders while Sonny rises to power.  In fact, when Sonny catches Cliff torturing two of El Gato’s men, Sonny orders Cliff to stop and then offers them jobs in the Burnett operation.  Amazingly, over the course of the entire three-episode Burnett arc, Sonny manages to get through the whole thing only killing people in self-defense.  Even the cop that he killed at the end of the previous season was a dirty cop who had been sent to kill him.  I get that the show couldn’t take Sonny totally over to the dark side but it’s still hard to believe that Burnett took over the Miami underworld without getting his hands a bit more dirty than he did.

A car bomb (courtesy of El Gato) knocks Sonny unconscious and, when he wakes up, he suddenly starts to remember who he actually is.  Finally realizing that his name is Crockett, Sonny turns himself into the Vice Squad and is promptly arrested while Kate Bush sings, “Don’t give up.”  Sonny tells Castillo, Switek, and Tubbs that he’s ready to acccept the consequences of whatever he did during his previous bout of amnesia.  But then Sonny escapes custody and sets up both Cliff and El Gato for a great fall so I guess he wasn’t totally ready to turn himself in and head off to prison.

Tubbs, who now trusts Sonny, helps him take out Cliff King and the Burnett organization.  Sonny shoots Cliff to save Tubbs.  With Tubbs dangling off of a walkway, Sonny pulls him back up to safety.  Sonny then goes back to his mansion where he and his girlfriend (Debra Feuer) are taking hostage by a gun-wielding El Gato.  “Where is the safe?” El Gato demands.  Sonny tricks El Gato into thinking the safe is in the room where he keeps his pet panther.  (Apparently, all drug lords were given either a tiger, a panther, a cheetah, or a leopard.)  El Gato gets mauled to death as the episode ends.

This episode suggests that Sonny is going to be let off the hook because he finally remembered he was.  I don’t really think that it would really work like that.  Sonny has multiple warrants out and he also killed a cop, albeit a corrupt one.  If Sonny isn’t on trial in next week’s episode, I’m going to be a little annoyed.

This episode ended the Burnett trilogy about as well as it could be ended.  The idea that all Sonny needed was to survive a second near-fatal explosion made me smile.  What if El Gato hadn’t tried to blow him up?  I guess it’s a good thing that he did!  While Polito went overboard, Matt Frewer gave a very good performance as the villainous Cliff King.  It’s a bit of a shame that he died so dramatically because Cliff would have made a good recurring villain.

This episode was definitely better than anything from season 4.  It’ll be interesting to see how the rest of season 5 plays out.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.21 “Deliver Us From Evil”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Caitlin makes a fateful return to Miami, an old enemy emerges from the shadows, and Crockett crosses a line that he never thought he would cross.  Will he ever be able to come back?

Episode 4.21 “Deliver Us From Evil”

(Dir by George Mendeluk, originally aired on April 29th, 1989)

At the end of this week’s episode, Crockett executes a man in cold blood!

Whoa!

Now, I should note that the guy that Crockett killed was really, really bad.  Frank Hackman (Guy Boyd) was a hitman who was previously on Death Row for killing one of Crockett’s former partners.  Hackman, who was pretending to be born again and seeking redemption, tricked Crockett into “proving” his innocence and getting his conviction overturned.  Only as Frank left the prison did he smirk at Crockett and reveal that all of the “new” evidence was faked.  It was one of Miami Vice’s darkest episodes.

Frank went back to his old ways, committing crimes and killing families.  Crockett made it his mission to take down Frank but, during a shootout with Frank’s gang, Frank’s wife was caught in the crossfire.  Crockett blamed himself, even though the bullet that killed her came from Frank’s gun.  Frank also blamed Crockett and, while Crockett was struggling with whether or not he wanted to remain a member of the Vice Squd, Frank plotted his revenge.

Caitlin Davies, Crockett’s wife, returned from her European tour.  Unfortunately, her homecoming concert was abruptly ended when she was shot by a sniper.  She died in Crockett’s arms, bringing to an end a marriage that never really made much sense to begin with.

Crockett spent a few days drinking on his boat and then rejoined the Vice Squad, determined to track down Frank.  Castillo did that thing where he narrowed his eyes and looked vaguely concerned but he still allowed Crockett to work the case.  After Crockett and Tubbs learned that Frank was living on a nearby island, Crockett confronted him alone.

“You wouldn’t shoot an unarmed man,” Frank said, smiling while lounging by the pool.

BANG!

Frank was wrong.

It was a powerful moment but one that was diminished by one final shot that showed Frank had been holding a gun in his hand when he was shot.  From what I’ve been able to uncover online, this was apparently added at the insistence of the network, who did not want Crockett to become a cold-blooded killer.  I doubt that would be an issue for the networks today.

Season 4 has been pretty uneven but this was a powerful episode.  As it ended, it definitely seemed as if Crockett had crossed  a line and that he would never again be the same.  Who knows what that might mean for next week’s season finale?

We’ll find out!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.10 “A Rock and a Hard Place”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

Sonny goes to Hollywood.

Episode 4.10 “A Rock and a Hard Place”

(Dir by Colin Bucksey, originally aired on January 22nd, 1988)

I guess I am going to have to accept that Miami Vice is no longer a show about two vice cops fighting a losing war against drug traffickers.  Instead, it’s now a show about an undercover cop who is married to a world famous rock star, even though it makes absolutely no sense.

In this episode, a tabloid reporter goes to Miami to do some research on this Sonny “Burnett.”  He hears a lot of stories about how Sonny Burnett is one of the city’s biggest drug dealers and he writes a story about it.  Sonny is upset, though one would think this would actually help him maintain his cover story.  Myself, I have to wonder how competent this reporter was.  Sonny Crockett has been established as having been a semi-famous college football star (Tubbs recognized him as soon as he met him) but no one ever seems to notice that Sonny Cockett and Sonny Burnett look, sound, and act exactly alike.  Considering the number of times that Crockett’s cover has gotten blown and that everyone who has ever done business with Sonny Burnett has ended up either getting arrested and gunned down by the police, you would think there would at least be some speculation about this guy being a cop.

(On a plus note, Don Henley’s Dirty Laundry played in the background while the reporter doing his thing.  That’s a song you can’t help but chair dance to.)

The majority of this episode dealt with a corrupt record executive (Tony Hendra) who was looking to get out of paying Sonny’s wife, Caitlin, the money that she was owed for her new album.  His solution was to have her assassinated and to make it look like she got caught in the crossfire of one of her husband’s drug deals.  Needless to say, it didn’t work.  Sonny gunned down the two assassins and then arrested the record executive.  “You’re a cop!?” the bad guy said, stunned.

And again, I have to wonder how this is not going to blow Sonny’s cover.  Is the press really not going to ask why Caitlin’s criminal husband just arrested the guy releasing her latest album?

This episode had all sorts of plot holes and it asked the audience to suspend their disbelief just a bit too far.  But at least it didn’t features Crockett and Tubbs searching for a stolen shipment of bull semen.  That’ll be next week’s episode!

(Seriously, I’m not kidding….)

I miss the old Miami Vice.  Seriously, the city’s drug business is probably booming because Crockett and Tubbs are wasting their time with all of this season 4 nonsense.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.10 “Love At First Sight”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, as the drug epidemic rages out of control, Sonny searches for a serial killer.

Episode 4.10 “Love At First Sight”

(Dir by Don Johnson, originally aired on January 15th, 1988)

What the Hell, Miami Vice?

Seriously, remember when this show was about Crockett and Tubbs going after drug dealers while Phil Collins played in the background?  Season 4 feels like a completely different show.

This week’s episode finds Sonny going undercover (*massive eye roll as Sonny does his, “My name is Sonny Burnett” routine for the thousandth time*) and joining a video dating service.  The plan is for Sonny to bust prostitutes but instead, he finds himself as the latest client to be targeted by a serial killer.

Sonny goes on dates, never knowing if the woman he’s with is a killer.  One woman approaches him with something behind her back.  Is it a knife?  No, it’s a vibrator!  “I can see the headlines now — Undercover cop slugs woman after assault with a sex toy!” Sonny says while wearing a yellow sweater and having a nice grapefruit breakfast at his mansion.

Meanwhile, cocaine is flooding Miami, the crack epidemic is spiraling out of control, there are communist taking over Central America, Fidel Castro is still alive, there’s a lot of going on out there and apparently it’s being ignored so Sonny can be used as serial killer bait — hey Vice Squad, why don’t you let the homicide detective deal with the murders while you get back to what you’re supposed to be doing?

Caitlin, Sonny’s wife, worries.  Oh, how she worries.  Her best friend tells her that she’s knew what she was getting into when she married a cop.  If Sonny is trying to maintain his undercover identity, should Caitlin be telling people that she married a cop?  Shouldn’t she be like, “I’m married to drug dealer!  His name’s Burnett and he just looks like that guy who used to play college football?”  That Sheena Easton was not a professional actress is pretty obvious in this episode.  When she previously appeared, she was a singer playing a singer and that brought some authenticity to her performance.  Now, she’s having to pretend to be the worried wife of a cop and her acting limitations are much more easier to see.

The killer is eventually revealed to be a woman (played by David Bowie’s future wife, Iman) with multiple personalities.  When she feels threatened, she turns into her brother and uses a knife to castrate the men from the dating service.  Will Sonny survive?  Yes, he does.

Don Johnson directed this episode and usually, when a cast member directs an episode of their show, their character tends to take a background role so they can concentrate on directing.  Not our Don!  This episode is so much about Sonny that the rest of the Vice Squad is barely in it.

This episode really made me miss the subtlety of Brian Dennehy playing a televangelist or James Brown kidnapping people for aliens.  Get it together, Miami!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.9 “The Rising Sun of Death”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, the Yakuza invades Miami.

Episode 4.9 “The Rising Sun of Death”

(Dir by Leon Ichaso, originally aired on May 27th, 1988)

Castillo is concerned.  The murder of an American businessman leads him to suspect that the Yakuza has come to Miami and it turns out that he’s right.  Riochi Tanaka (James Hong), a World War II war criminal-turned-mobster, is trying to take over the Miami underworld.  While corrupt Homicide Detective Haskell (R. Lee Ermey) tries to convince everyone that the Yakuza is just a myth, Castillo teams up with Japanese detective Kenji Fujitsu (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) to takes down Tanaka and his right-hand man, Agawa (Danny Kamekoa).  Needless to say, this leads to a fight with samurai swords, a lot of talk of honor, and a seppuku to close the case.

This episode hit every Yakuza cliche and the plot itself felt as if it had been put together at the last minute.  (This is one of those episodes where every plot hole is dismissed as being a cultural difference.)  We’re expected to believe that Tanaka could outsmart the Allies during World War II but he couldn’t outsmart the Miami Vice Squad.  As well, of the major Japanese characters, only one was played by Japanese actor.  Danny Kamekoa is a Hawaiian while James Hong is of Chinese descent.

That said, this episode was shot and filmed with a lot of style and it found an excuse to play Billy Idol’s Flesh For Fantasy during one of the early scenes.  There’s something to be said for that.  Neither Crockett nor Tubbs really did much in this episode but we did get to see Crockett house hunting with Cailtin.  It’s mentioned that everyone thinks that Caitlin’s new husband is named Sonny Burnett instead of Sonny Cockett.  That’s fine …. except for the fact that Sonny Crockett has previously been established as a bit of a minor celebrity, a college football star who would have gone on to the NFL if he hadn’t injured his knee.  Every time this show tries to convince me that Crockett has fooled everyone into thinking he’s Sonny Burnett, it just further convinces me that there’s no way Crockett and Tubbs should still be doing undercover assignments.

This episode was stylish but empty but, considering some of the other episodes that have aired during this season, at least it was entertaining.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.8 “Like A Hurricane”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

Crockett gets married!  Huh?

Episode 4.8 “Like a Hurricane”

(Dir by Colin Bucksey, originally aired on November 20th, 1987)

Crockett is upset when he’s assigned to serve as a bodyguard to singer Caitlin Davies (Sheena Easton).  Caitlin is a witness to the criminal activity of music industry executive Tommy Lowell (Xander Berkeley) and the Vice Squad is worried that he might send someone to kill her.  Crockett doesn’t have much use for celebrities and Caitlin doesn’t have much use for a cop continually telling her what to do.  But after Crockett saves Caitlin’s life multiple times, they fall in love and the episode ends with Crockett and Caitlin getting married.

Wow, Crockett got married!

I mean, is Caitlin going to live on his boat?  Is the crocodile going to be okay with this?  For that matter, wouldn’t the fact that he just married a celebrity make it difficult for Crockett to continue his undercover work as Sonny Burnett?  I mean, I imagine there was a lot of press coverage of the marriage.  Caitlin, we’re told, is a pretty big deal.

Honestly, Crockett getting married should have been a big moment but this episode just fell flat.  The main problem is that Don Johnson and Sheena Easton didn’t have much romantic chemistry so their sudden love for each felt as if it came out of nowhere.  Sonny getting married that quickly seemed a bit out-of-character for him.  This episode, like much of season 4, felt like it was mostly the result of the writers grasping at straws to find something new to do with the show.  Last week, Trudy got kidnapped by aliens.  This week, Crockett got married.  Maybe next week, Tubbs will take on the Yakuza.  Who knows?  At this point, it all feels random.

We’ll see what happens.  For now, here’s Sheena Easton performing one of my favorite Bond songs.

Embracing the Melodrama #42: Indecent Proposal (dir by Adrian Lyne)


This one is just dumb.

First released in 1993 and something of a perennial on AMC, Indecent Proposal tells the story of David (Woody Harrelson) and Diane (Demi Moore), two kids who meet in high school, get married, and end up living what, in Hollywood, passes for an average, middle class lifestyle — which is to say, Diane is a successful real estate broker, David is an architect, and they’re in the process of building their dream house on the beach.  (Just like everyone else you know, right?)  However, the economy goes bad, David loses his job, and they find themselves deep in debt.

Desperately, they decide to take a gamble.  Literally.  They go to Las Vegas and, at first, it seems like everything’s going to be alright.  David has a run of luck and makes a lot of money.  They make so much money that David and Diane end up having sex on top of it.  Now, I have to admit, if I ever won $25,000 dollars in Vegas, I would probably spread it on a bed and roll around naked on it as well.  But only if it was paper money.  Coins would probably be uncomfortable and I’d hate to end up with a hundred little impressions of George Washington’s profile running up and down my body.

But anyway, David and Diane make the mistake of sticking around in Vegas for a second day and they end up losing all of the money that they previously won and you better believe that when the chips are pulled away, Diane is shown trying grab them in slow motion while going, “Noooooo!”  Soon, David and Diane are sitting in an all-night diner and trying to figure out what to do next.  A waitress overhears them and sadly shakes her head.  Obviously, she’s seen a lot of movies about Las Vegas.

Anyway, this movie is too dumb to waste this many words on its plot so let’s just get to the point.  David and Diane meets John Gage (Robert Redford), a millionaire who offers to give David a million dollars in exchange for having one (and only one) commitment-free night with Diane.  David and Diane agree and then spend the rest of the movie agonizing over their decision.  Eventually, this leads to Diane and David splitting up, John Gage reentering the picture and proving himself to be not such a bad guy, and David eventually buying a hippo.

It’s all really dumb.

Anyway, I was planning on making quite a few points about this set-up but, quite frankly, this film is so dumb that I’m getting annoyed just writing this review.  So, instead of breaking this all down scene-by-scene, I’m just going to point out a few things and then move on to better melodramas.

1) Every character in the movie has a scene where they eventually ask what we (the viewing audience) would do if we were in a similar situation.  “Would you have sex for a million dollars?”  Well, let’s see.  Basically, the deal seems to be that you have safe, non-kinky, missionary position sex with a millionaire who you will never have to see again after you get paid.  And you’re getting a million dollars in return.  Would I do it?  OF COURSE, I’D DO IT!  It’s a million dollars, it’s just one night, and it’s not like you’re being asked to fuck Vladimer Putin or something.  If the film wanted to create a true moral dilemma, they should have cast someone other than Robert Redford as John Gage and they should have had Gage propose something more than just one night.  If Gage had been played by an unappealing actor (or perhaps if the film were made today with Redford looking as craggly as he did in Capt. America or All Is Lost) or if it had been a million dollars for Diane to serve as a member of Gage’s harem for a year, the film would have been far different and perhaps not any better but at least all of the subsequent angst would have made sense.

2) What really annoyed me is that, after Diane returns from her night with Gage, neither she nor her husband ever cash that million dollar check.  If you’re going to agree to the stupid deal, at least take advantage of it.

3) Finally, why would you accept a check for something like that?  Did Gage write, “For letting me fuck your wife” in the memo line?  Why not get paid in cash so, at the very least, you don’t have to deal with IRS?

Seriously, this movie is just dumb.

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