Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.18 “Mermaid and the Matchmaker/The Obsolete Man”

Posted on November 18, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. The show is once again on Tubi!

This week, an acquaintance returns to the Island.

Episode 7.18 “Mermaid and the Matchmaker/The Obsolete Man”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on March 24th, 1984)

Nyah (Michelle Phillips) is back!

Okay, maybe you don’t remember Nyah. This is Nyah’s first appearance since the fourth season. In between the last time that Michelle Phillips played Nyah and her resurfacing in this episode, Phillips played five other characters on Fantasy Island.

So, to refresh your memory, Nyah is a mermaid. During seasons three and four, she tried to tempt men to their death in the ocean and she was presented as being a friendly enemy of Mr. Roarke’s. In this episode, however, Nyah is a bit nicer. She’s not malicious as much as she’s just immature. Roarke, for his part, treats her like a wayward teenager. Nyah has a fantasy, of course. She’s tired of being immortal and she wants Roarke to make her a mortal. Roarke says that he can’t do that. “You’re the only man who understands immortality!” Nyah says.

Nyah wants to die but instead, Roarke plays matchmaker and arranges for her to meet Duke McCall (Dennis Cole), a sailor who believes in mermaids. He doesn’t have any issue with Nyah being a mermaid but Nyah, having fallen in love with him, fears that Duke will drown if he tries to pursue her. Fortunately, for everyone involved, Duke turns into a merman. Don’t ask me how these things work. I’m just glad that Roarke didn’t have to kill anyone.

Meanwhile, banker Mitchell Robinson (Bert Convy) fears that he’s going to be replaced by a computer. Charlene Hunt (Gloria Loring) claims that her computer is just as good at checking loan applications as any human. She stages a competition between the computer and Mitchell. Mitchell tries to explain to the computer that it’s important to judge people not just on their credit rating but also their body language. This somehow causes the computer to explode and Mitchell keeps his job.

“Yay!” viewers in 1984 cheered, “computers will never replace us!” HA! Joke’s on you, Mitchell Robinson!

Seriously, you don’t have to tell me about the dangers of a fully automated world. A.I. is fun for making silly images but it’s going to ultimately lead to a lot of people believing a lot of false things. But Mitchell was so smug about beating the computer that I’m kind of glad that he still probably lost his job a few years later. You can’t stop the march of technology, Mitchell!

As for this trip to the Island, the computer storyline didn’t really go anywhere but I did enjoy Michelle Phillip’s return as Nyah. She and Ricardo Montalban had an enjoyable chemistry and it was fun to watch them bicker. This week’s episode was uneven but, thanks to Michelle Phillips, it was still more enjoyable the most of what we’ve seen for the seventh season.

Horror on TV: The Night Strangler (dir by Dan Curtis)

Posted on October 24, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For tonight’s horror on television, we have 1973’s The Night Strangler.

This is the sequel to The Night Stalker and it features journalist Carl Kolchak (Darren McGavin) in Seattle. (After all the stuff that happened during the previous movie, Kolchak was kicked out of Las Vegas.) When Kolchak investigates yet another series of murders, he discovers that paranormal murders don’t just occur in Las Vegas and aren’t just committed by vampires.

I actually prefer this movie to The Night Stalker. The Night Strangler features a truly creepy villain, as well as a trip down to an “underground city.” It’s full of ominous atmosphere and, as always, Darren McGavin is a lot of fun to watch in the role in Kolchak.

Enjoy!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.21 “Remember When….”

Posted on July 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week …. oh no!

Episode 6.21 “Remember When”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on May 7th, 1983)

After crashing his little car, Tattoo ends up in the Fantasy Island hospital. Roarke cancels all of the weekend’s fantasies so that he can stay by Tattoo’s side and keep Tattoo cheerful until it’s time for him to have life-saving surgery. Roarke and Tattoo share memories and …. YEP, IT’S A CLIP SHOW!

Actually, for a clip show, it’s not that bad. Yes, there’s a lot of awkward dialogue. “Boss, remember that time Mickey Gilley opened up his place?” That said, the clips are well-selected and they all feature Herve Villechaize at his best, turning this episode into a Tattoo tribute. At the end of the episode, Tattoo says that he’s never going to leave Fantasy Island. Which …. well, we’ll get to season 7 in a few weeks.

Anyway, clip shows are pretty much impossible to review. Let’s just be happy that Tattoo pulls through. That accident looked serious!

Horror on the Lens: The Night Strangler (dir by Dan Curtis)

Posted on October 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For today’s horror on the lens, we have 1973’s The Night Strangler.

Enjoy!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.11 “House of Dolls/Wuthering Heights”

Posted on October 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s all about the power of imagination.

Episode 5.11 “House of Dolls/Wuthering Heights”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on January 9th, 1982)

After being absent last week, Tattoo returns for this episode. That means that Julie, once again, is too busy on the other side of the Island to assist Mr. Roarke this week. The excuse that the show’s writer come up with to explain Julie’s absence is that she accidentally opened up a box of Fantasy Island butterflies that were meant to be delivered to the San Diego Zoo. Now, Julie has to catch all of the butterflies. Good luck, Julie!

As for the fantasies, they both deal with imagination.

Clarissa Bevis (Britt Ekland) is a librarian who is single because she’s never met a real-life man who can compare to Heathcliffe from Clarissa’s favorite novel, Wuthering Heights. Clarissa wants to enter the world of the novel so that she can meet Heathcliffe and hopefully put her obsession with him behind her. Mr. Roarke grants her fantasy but warns her that she must not change the plot of the book in any way. That strikes me as an odd rule because it’s not as if Clarissa is traveling into the past. She’s entering her imagination so why would it matter if she decided to do what so many other readers have done and imagine a different ending to her favorite novel?

Clarissa finds herself approaching Wuthering Heights. Heathcliffe (Hugh O’Brian) sees her and declares that his beloved Catherine has come back to life. Meanwhile, Edgar Linton (Richard Anderson) believes that this proves Heathcliffe has gone mad and starts to plot to have Heathcliffe declared insane so that Edgar can claim Wuthering Heights and all of its farmland as his own. To be honest, if we’re in Clarissa’s imagination, I can only assume that she’s only seen a movie version of Wuthering Heights because neither Heathcliffe nor Edgar behave like their characters in the book (In particular, Edgar is portrayed as being a cartoonishly evil villain.) And, it should be noted, no mention is made of Cathy, Linton, Hindley, Isabella, Harleton, or any of the book’s other characters. How is Clarissa supposed to stay true to the plot of a book that she’s never read?

As for the other fantasy, Francis Elkins (Bob Denver) is a maker and dresser of mannequins, He’s fallen in love with one of his mannequins — “Hey, that’s not creepy at all,” I say while dramatically rolling my eyes — and his fantasy is for her to come to life. Roarke gives Francis a magical medallion thing that Francis uses to bring Courtney (Barbi Benton) to life, with the understanding that Courtney will only be human for two days. Eager to live as much life as possible, Courtney uses the medallion to bring to life three other mannequins to serve as the members of her squad. She also flirts with two salesmen (Larry Storch and Joey Forman) by telling them that’s she’s from Bloomingdale’s (“Oh yeah,” Storch says, “that town in Indiana,”) and that she’s only six years old. Fortunately, Francis’s love for Courtney is so strong that Courtney remains human even after the two days are up.

At the start of this fantasy, Roarke promises Tattoo that it will be the most delightful fantasy ever. Barbi Benton did a good job in the role of Courtney and she certainly showed more comedic timing here than she did during previous visits to the Island. But I don’t know …. the whole falling in love with a mannequin thing was a little too creepy to be delightful.

That said, this was an entertaining episode, even if neither fantasy really worked. Barbi Benton got to show off her comedic timing and the Wuthering Heights fantasy was enjoyably melodramatic, even if it got the book wrong and even though all-American Hugh O’Brian was not exactly the most convincing Heathcliffe. This was a nice enough trip to the Island.

I wonder if Julie ever found those butterflies.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.9 “Romance Times Three/The Night of the Tormented Soul”

Posted on September 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Smiles, everyone, smiles! It’s time to visit the Island.

Episode 5.9 “Romance Times Three/The Night of the Tormented Soul”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on December 5th, 1981)

This week again finds Tattoo working as Roarke’s assistant, which again means that the episode opens with Julie explaining that she won’t be able to help out Roarke and Tattoo with any of the new people coming to the Island. What makes this week memorable as far as Julie excuses are concerned is that the reason Julie can’t help is because she’s been given a difficult task by Tattoo. A 300-pound woman has come to the Island with a fantasy of leading the Charge of the Light Brigade and Tattoo has told Julie to find a horse for her. Tattoo smirks as Julie tells Roarke. Roarke wishes Julie luck while declining to help her himself.

As for the fantasies, let’s get the boring one out of the way first. Sally Harris (Georgia Engel) works for a phone answering service. I had to look this up via Google but apparently a phone answering service was something that people and companies used in the days before texts, voice mail and email. Someone like Sally would answer the phone for you, collect your messages, and then call you later to give them to you. I guess it was something that companies did when they were too cheap to hire a receptionist or a personal assistant. I don’t know, it just seems strange to me.

Sally has fallen in love with three of her clients, though she hasn’t actually met any of them. Jack (Frank Bonner) is a bon vivant who calls her for love advice. Tony (Frank Converse) is a businessman who calls her for financial advice. Ben (David Groh) is a writer who often discusses his writer’s block with Sally. All three of the men have come to the Island. Sally fears how the men will react to discovering the real her so Mr. Roarke casts a spell and tells Sally that each men will see her the way that he thinks of her. Tony sees Sally as a prim and determined businesswoman. Jack sees her as a dark-haired seductress. And Ben sees her as a …. well, as a clown. He has always resented Sally’s advice. Of course, Ben is the one who ultimately falls in love with the real Sally.

It’s not a bad idea for a fantasy but it doesn’t really work because Georgia Engel isn’t convincing whenever she takes on any of Sally’s different personas. No matter what costume she’s wearing, she still delivers all of her lines in this high-pitched whisper that sometimes make it difficult to understand what she’s saying. (She’s not quite as inaudible here as she was in Jennifer Slept Here but still, I did struggle to hear everything she said.) The men are all thinly written, as well. I was glad she ended up with the writer but in the end, I really wouldn’t have cared that much if she had ended up with the businessman or the sex addict.

The better fantasy features Stephen Shortridge and Dianne Kay as Jason and Beth Martinique. When they were children, Beth and Jason survived a shipwreck and washed up on the shore of Fantasy Island. They were raised by a local millionaire, Richard Martinique (Richard Anderson) and their nanny, Blanche Barrens (Elinor Donahue). Both Richard and Ms. Barrens died one stormy night. Richard was shot and Ms. Barrens’s neck was broken in a fall. Jason and Beth want to go back to their childhood home so they can learn what happened that night. Fortunately, the ghosts of Richard and Ms. Barrens are still in the mansion, giving Jason and Beth a chance to see the tragic accident that led to the deaths of both Richard and Ms. Barrens. Even better, Mr. Roarke and Tattoo show up to inform Jason and Beth that they aren’t really brother-and-sister and therefore, they are free to pursue a romance. That’s good because, before Roarke showed up, Jason and Beth were gazing at each other like the brother and sister from the old Folger’s commercial. You know who I’m talking about.

I always enjoy it when Fantasy Island deals with ghosts and haunted mansions and this fantasy was filled with atmosphere and melodrama. The accident that led to death of Richard and Ms. Barrens was ludicrous and yet somehow poignant at the same time.

So, an overall mixed review on this episode but I think the ghost fantasy makes up for the other fantasy. Plus, Tattoo gets to show off his karate skills! Let’s see Julie do that!

Retro Television Review: The Astronaut (dir by Robert Michael Lewis)

Posted on September 10, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1972’s The Astronaut! It can be viewed on YouTube!

NASA has successfully landed a man on Mars! The entire world watches as Col. Brice Randolph (Monte Markham) makes his way across the Martian surface. However, suddenly, the signal goes out. Viewers are assured that this is the sort of thing that happens all the time with interstellar travel. What they don’t know is that the signal went down because Brice suddenly died. While the surviving members of the mission return to Earth, NASA tries to figure out how to keep anyone from finding out what happened to Brice. NASA director Kurt Anderson (Jackie Cooper) knows that the President wants to cut the budget and the death of an astronaut would probably provide the perfect excuse for taking money away from NASA and canceling the Mars program.

Anderson’s solution is to recruit a substitute. Eddie Reese (Monte Markham) has a slight resemblance to Brice, one that can be perfected through plastic surgery. While the mission returns from Mars, Eddie goes through a crash course to teach him how to talk, walk, and think like Col. Brice Randolph. Eddie is told that he’ll have to be Brice until the NASA scientists can figure out what led to Brice’s death. Once they do know what went wrong with the mission, Eddie will have to go into NASA’s version of the witness protection.

Eddie proves to be a quick learner and it helps that he, like so many others, looked up to Brice. However, while Eddie can fool almost everyone else, he cannot fool Brice’s wife, Gail (Susan Clark). When Eddie actually treats Gail with kindness and shows sympathy for her nervous condition, she realizes that there’s no way that Eddie is actually her husband. Apparently, Brice was not quite the saintly figure that the public believed him to be. Eddie and Gail soon fall in love for real but when NASA finally discovers what led to Brice’s death, it looks like their new life together might be over as abruptly as it begun.

The Astronaut is a low-key conspiracy …. well, I hesitate to call it a thriller. There’s little of the things that one typically associated with a conspiracy thriller. There’s no black helicopters. There’s no shadowy assassins. There’s no army of men walking around in black suits. Instead, there’s just a bunch of nervous bureaucrats who are desperate to keep the rest of the world from discovering just how much they screwed up. As played by Jackie Cooper, the head of NASA isn’t so much evil as he’s just way too devoted-to-his-job for his own good. In many ways, this is probably one of the most realistic conspiracies ever portrayed on film.

In the end, The Astronaut is a portrait of two lonely people who find love in the strangest of circumstances. Susan Clark and Monte Markham make for a likable couple and the viewer really does hope that things will work out for them. What this film lack in conspiracy thrills, it makes up for in human drama. It appealed to both my romantic and my rabid anti-government sides. What more could one ask?

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.20 “Best of Friends/Aftermath/Dream Boat”

Posted on June 21, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week’s cruise is just weird.

Episode 2.20 “Best of Friends/Aftermath/Dream Boat”

(Dir by George Tyne, originally aired on February 10th, 1979)

This cruise is all about excitement and letdowns.

For instance, Doc Bricker is super excited because his former mentor, Dr. Art Akers (Richard Anderson), is a passenger on the cruise. But then Bricker is letdown when he discovers that, due to a traffic accident, Dr. Akers has lost his arm and can no longer practice medicine. Bricker also discovers that Dr. Akers feels that Bricker has wasted his potential by taking a job as a cruise ship doctor. As Dr. Akers puts it, Doc Bricker should be performing surgery and working in a hospital and not wasting his time dealing with seasick debutantes. Obviously, we’re meant to feel that Dr. Akers is being unfair and Akers is definitely a jerk. At the same time, it is really hard to think of very many times that this show actually showed Dr. Bricker doing anything other than hitting on the passengers. I know that there was an episode where he delivered a baby and another where he performed surgery while at sea but, for the most part, Doc does seem to spend most of his time drinking at the bar and hanging out at the pool.

Anyway, Doc Bricker does get a chance to prove himself. He notices that Akers’s wife, Laura (Diana Muldaur), appears to be hooked on the anti-anxiety pills that she’s been taking ever since the car accident that cost her husband his arm. At first, Akers refuses to listen to Bricker but then Laura ends up stumbling around the ship in a daze and Akers is first to admit that his wife is a junkie and Doc Bricker is actually a doctor. So, I guess that’s a happy ending to that story.

Carol Gilmore (Carol Lynley) is super excited when she boards the cruise because she’s going to finally meet the man who is engaged to her best friend, Gwen (Donna Pescow). She’s also excited because a handsome passenger named Paul (Ben Murphy) hits on her as soon as he sees her. However, she’s letdown when she subsequently discovers that Paul is Gwen’s fiancé! Even after he learns that Carol is Gwen’s best friend, Paul asks Carol to meet him on the deck at midnight. Carol does so and Paul tells her that he hit on her because he was feeling nervous about getting married but that he felt terrible and ashamed as soon as he did so and that hitting on Carol only reminded him of how much he loves Gwen. Carol thinks that is the most romantic thing that she’s ever heard. Gwen is far less impressed and she dumps both her fiancé and her best friend. However, Gwen reconsiders when she later sees Paul dancing with Carol and she decides that she needs both of them in her life.

Finally, the crew is super excited when Captain Stubing is offered a job as the captain of the Lorelei, which is a legendary cruise ship. Though they don’t want to lose him, they do want Stubing to be happy so they spend the entire cruise telling the Lorelei’s owner (Hans Conreid) about what a great guy the Captain is. However, the Captain does not want to leave the Pacific Princess so he starts acting like a jerk in hope that the offer will be rescinded. When the Lorelei’s owner announces that Stubing is such a great captain that he’ll hire him even if he is a jerk, Stubing is forced to finally admit that he doesn’t want the job.

This was a weird episode. All of the stories felt as if they were only halfway written before filming started. The stuff with Gwen, Carol, and Paul felt especially strange, as there was really absolutely no reason for Gwen to change her mind about taking Paul back, beyond the fact that the story had to resolve itself somehow. The storyline about Dr. Akers was a bit more developed but Akers himself was such a jerk that it was hard to really care about him or his bitterness over Bricker having an enjoyable life. As for Captain Stubing’s storyline, it required Stubing to act in ways that were totally out-of-character for him. A Stubing who can’t speak his mind is not the Stubing that the viewers know.

Yeah, this was a weird cruise. I’m just glad everyone made it back home.