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Book Review: Master of Murder by Christopher Pike

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

This is a weird book from Christopher Pike.

First published in 1992, Master of Murder tells the story of Marvin.  Marvin is 18 and he seems like just your average high school student.  He’s still in love with his ex-girlfriend, Shelly.  He’s haunted by the mysterious death of Harry, who was Marvin’s best friend but who was also dating Shelly at the same time that Marvin was.  Marvin also takes care of his younger sister because, as was typical of YA books like this, their parents aren’t in the picture.  Obviously, if there were parents in these books, the adults would always want to call the police or solve the mysteries themselves.  Pike’s response was usually to either kill them, divorce them, or turn them into drunks.

Anyway, back to Marvin.  In the year since Harry’s death, Marvin has been leading a secret life.  He writes YA novels!  In fact, they’re the most successful YA novels ever!  He’s published five of them, all about a dead girl named Ann.  (Wait a minute …. that’s also his sister’s name!  Ewwww and Agck!)  From what I know about the publishing industry, none of this seems plausible but we’ll just go with it.  I mean, of course, Marvin is a high school senior who secretly writes best sellers and who regularly gets explicit fan mail from his teenage readers.  That makes purrrr-fect sense, as my cat would put it.

Anyway, Shelly asks Marvin to help her figure out who was responsible for death of Harry.  She might even date him again if he helps her out!  Plus, Marvin is getting mysterious letters from someone who writes, “I know who you are!”  Could the two events be connected?  Of course, they are!  And yes, Shelly has a secret of her own.

There’s no supernatural or intergalactic monsters in this Christopher Pike novel.  Instead, it’s a straight-forward murder mystery.  To be honest, when compared to other Pike books, it’s kind of bland.  The most interesting way to read it is as a sort of wish fulfilment for Pike.  One gets the feeling that, at the time that he wrote this book, he wished he was Marvin, a teenager who gets to live like he’s Christopher Pike.  As I said, it’s a weird book, one that makes it look as if the only thing simpler than solving a murder is writing a best seller when you’re 18.  If only it were true, there would be a lot more bestsellers and a lot more prison overcrowding.  Oh well!

Book Review: Shock Value by Jason Zinoman

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In the 1970s, there were two cinematic revolutions that forever changed the face of American culture.  They both occurred at the same time.  Some of the same people were involved in both.  The difference is that the revolution led by Francis Ford Coppola, Martin Scorsese, Steven Spielberg, and George Lucas is regularly celebrated as being a part of the Second Golden Age of Hollywood while the second revolution, the horror revolution, is often either ignore or only given the most condescending of phrase.

While Speilberg and Lucas were recreating the blockbuster, writers and directors like John Carpenter, George Romero, Wes Craven, and Dan O’Bannon were changing the way horror movies were made, marketed, and viewed.  Though many of them came from similar backgrounds as the storied “move brats,” they were rarely given the same critical respect.  Their accomplishments were often dismissed, even though they often made films that commented just as powerfully on the world of the 70s as Scorsese and Coppola did with films like Taxi Driver and Apocalypse Now.  Only a few directors, like Brian De Palma and William Friedkin, were allowed to live in both of the worlds of the horror visionaries and the movie brats.  And even De Palma struggled to convince the mainstream critics to take him and his films seriously while Friendkin himself only made one horror film in the 70s, albeit one of the most important films of all time.

First published in 2011, Jason Zinoman’s Shock Value pays tribute to those horror visionaries, finally giving them the credit that they and their films deserve.  The book tells the story of the generation of directors who made some of the best remembered films of the 70s.  John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Tobe Hooper, Brian De Plama, and many others move through the pages of this book, often working in the shadows of Hollywood and often finding themselves embraced by audiences even as they were screwed over by a film industry that wasn’t sure how to handle their unique outlooks and undeniable talents.  Perhaps the most talented of them is Dan O’Bannon, who emerges here as a tragic figure who, for all of his obvious ability, could never bring himself to play the Hollywood game.  Perhaps more than anyone, O’Bannon was responsible for the film that would eventually become Alien and yet, he received little of the credit that he deserved.

I probably use the term “must read” for too often but Shock Value is a must read for any lover of cinematic horror.

International Horror Film Review: The Awful Dr. Orlof (dir by Jess Franco)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

 

This 1962 Spanish film opens with a village gripped by terror!  Someone is abducting young dancers from their apartments and sometimes straight off the street!  Who could be responsible for such a terrible act?  Could it be the Mafia?  Could it be the Communists?  Could it be a wayward jazz pianist or maybe an aspiring filmmaker who befriended Orson Welles when the latter moved to Europe to escape the IRS?  Or could it be that awful Dr. Orlof?

Who is Dr. Orlof, you may ask?  He’s a former prison doctor who retired after a fire disfigured his daughter.  Now, he lives in an isolated castle, where he cares for his daughter.  They say that his only companion is Morpho, a blind former convict who wears an emotionless mask over his features and who is often seen wandering around the village in the middle of the night.  Could it be that Dr. Orlof is responsible for the disappearances?

Of course it’s Dr. Orlof!  His name is right there in the title of the film.  In fact, it’s so obvious that Dr. Orlof is sending Morpho out in the middle of the night so that he can abduct beautiful women who are then used in experiments designed to restore the beauty of Orlof’s daughter that you have to wonder why the police just don’t arrest him as soon as the crimes start.  I mean, yes …. I assume that the police need to find some sort of evidence to prove that Orlof is behind the crime but then again, this film was shot in Spain during the years when General Francisco Franco was in charge of the country.  I’m sure the police could have done whatever they wanted.

The Awful Dr. Orlof is considered by many to be the first Spanish horror film.  It was also one of the first films to be directed by Jess Franco, who was no relation to the general.  With both critics and at the box office, this was one of Jess Franco’s most successful films and it was one that he would remake several times over the course of his career.  Dr. Orlof, always played with decadent haughtiness by Howard Vernon, went on to appear in several other Franco films.  (In subsequent films, he added an extra F to his last name.  That’s probably because The Awful Dr. Orlof was released in some countries as The Awful Dr. Orloff.  The double F brings to mind Boris Karloff so it’s not a bad idea to spell it that way but all of the evidence that I’ve read and seen would suggest that Franco originally spelled the name Orlof, with only one F.)  For that matter, Morpho also appeared in quite a few films, some with Orlof and some without him.  In the Awful Dr. Orlof, Morpho is played by Ricardo Valle and he’s a genuinely creepy character.  The blank mask that he wears as he stalks through the night is perhaps the best-known image to come out of The Awful Dr. Orlof.  In fact, if you’ve only seen screenshots of the film, it’s easy to assume that Morpho is the title character, just because of how prominently he is featured in every shot.  It’s impossible to take your eyes away from him.

On the whole, Jess Franco does not have a great critical reputation.  He worked fast.  He made a lot of movies and occasionally, it was obvious that his main concern was getting a paycheck.  Especially when it came to his later films, Franco could be a sloppy and inconsistent director.  And yet, when Franco took his time and when he actually cared about the material, his talent was undeniable.  The Awful Dr. Orlof is one of Franco’s better movies.  While the story won’t win any points for creativity, Franco’s direction is atmospheric and, at it best, the movie feels like a filmed nightmare, full of slightly askew angles and menacing shadows.  The black-and-white cinematography helps, adding a touch of gothic class to the film.  Howard Vernon gives a multi-layered performance as Orlof.  He may be, as the title state, awful but there’s no doubt that his actions are the actions of a desperate parent.  And, of course, Morpho will haunt your nightmares.

All in all, The Awful Dr. Orlof is not awful at all.  It’s a good film to use if you’re tying to introduce Franco to someone who might not be familiar with his work.  Definitely show them Dr. Orlof before showing them A Virgin Among The Living Dead.  Just a suggestion.

A Blast From The Past: None For The Road (dir by Herk Harvey)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Director Herk Harvey

For today’s Herk Harvey-directed Blast From The Past, we have the 1957 short film, None For The Road. Produced by Centron, this was a film that was meant to make motorists aware of the dangers involved in drinking and driving. It’s a good message and, for once, the judgmental tone of the film is deserved. This isn’t about telling people not to have fun in school. This is about teaching people not to kill people through their own drunken stupidity! It may not be quite as effective as some of the Australian anti-drinking and driving commercials that I’ve seen but still, it’s a worthwhile message.

It’s also about a scientist who gets rats drunk so he can test their balance. That’s kind of weird and seems unnecessary but I guess maybe people were less aware of the dangers of excessive drinking in the 50s.

On another note, even though some of the college students in this film drink too much, I do appreciate their attempts to dress up before going out. They’re making an effort to get used to wearing a tie voluntarily before being forced to wear one at the office and I respect both their initiative and their understanding that the course of their life is already so predestined that they might as well be supporting characters in a Paul Schrader movie.

Of course, I would be amiss if I didn’t point out that, in its portrait of the road as being a path that can lead to either happiness or death, this short film shares a theme with Herk Harvey’s one feature film, Carnival of Souls. The drunken college kids in this film could be the same people we see harassing Candace Hilligoss at the start of Carnival of Souls. We’ll be sharing Carnival of Souls on Saturday.

Horror Film Review: Hellraiser (dir by Clive Barker)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Monday night, Dancing With The Stars did a horror night, in which “the stars” did dances that were inspired by horror films. One of the first to perform was a professional wrestler who is apparently known as The Miz. When the Miz performed, he was dressed in black and he had several fake pins attached to his face.

After he danced, host Trya Banks asked The Miz what scared him. Obviously seeing a chance to suck up to the judges and the audience, the Miz grandly announced, “This! Doing this every week terrifies me! Dressing up like Hellraiser and dancing terrifies me….”

Uhmmm, excuse me, Mr. Miz — the character’s name is Pinhead. The movie is called Hellraiser. You were dressed up as Pinhead.

Seriously, I felt that the Miz should have been eliminated from the competition at that exact moment but no. His sucking up worked. Everyone laughed. Everyone applauded. No one called him out on his error. It upset me a bit. I was like, “Who are you to do horror night when you don’t even know the difference between the movie and the character!?”

Really, they should all be forced to watch or rewatch Hellraiser. First released in 1987, the directorial debut of Clive Barker holds up pretty well as a blood-filled horror movie. It tells the story of Larry (Andrew Robinson), his daughter Kristy (Ashley Laurence), and his second wife, Julia (Clare Higgins). Larry’s ne’er-do-well brother, Frank (Sean Chapman), has died under mysterious circumstances so Larry moves into Frank’s old house and tries to renovate it. He hopes that this will somehow help his strained marriage to Julia, who was having an affair with Frank. Why Larry thinks this is a good idea is never quite clear. Larry seems to be a nice guy but it doesn’t take long for the audience to get the feeling that he might not be that smart.

Kristy, on the other hand, is much smarter than her father and she knows better than to trust Julia. In fact, Kristy refuses to even live in the same house as Julia. Still, Kristy does check in on her father occasionally and she quickly realizes that Julia is doing something strange. It turns out that Frank may be dead but his tortured, skinless spirit lives on. Julia has been picking men up in bars and bringing them back to the house so that Frank can steal their skin. On the one hand, you do have to feel kind of sorry for all of the people who die. On the other hand, Frank does look better with skin.

Frank ended up in his skinless state because he foolishly opened up a puzzle box. That’s where Pinhead (played by Doug Bradley) comes into the equation. Pinhead and the other Cenobites live in another demension and they’ve spent so much time “exploring” that they can no longer tell the difference between pain and pleasure. Pinhead’s face is covered in pins. (In fact, Pinhead started out as something of a fan nickname as Bradley is just credited with playing “the Lead Cenobite” in the film’s end credits.) The Cenobites are actually only in Hellraiser for a few minutes. The majority of the film is made up of Julia bringing strange men home and Frank attacking them. But it’s the Cenobites — and Pinhead in particular — who make the biggest impression. Beyond his bizarre appearance, Doug Bradley plays the character with such haughty arrogance that it’s hard not to be intrigued. He knows things.

Hellraiser holds up well. Andrew Robinson does his best but Larry is a bit of a moron. However, Clare Higgins has fun with her femme fatale role while Ashley Laurence is likable and sympathetic as Kristy. For the most part, the special effects hold up well and even the film’s slightly more cartoonish moments add to the feeling that the film takes place in a universe that is becoming increasingly unstable. The puzzle box is wonderful creation. It’s easy to say that you would never mess with something like that but most people would. The temptation would just be too great.

Watch Hellraiser and never get Pinhead’s name wrong again!

Horror on the Lens: The Last Man on Earth (dir. by Ubaldo Ragona and Sidney Salkow)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi there and Happy October 27th!  For today’s treat from the ranks of horror films that have fallen into the public domain, I present to you one of the most important films in horror history.  Though it wasn’t appreciated when it was first  released back in 1964, The Last Man On Earth was not only the 1st Italian horror film but George Romero has also acknowledged it as an influence on his own Night of the Living Dead.

It’s easy to be a little bit dismissive of The Last Man On Earth.  After all, the low-budget is obvious in every scene, the dubbing is off even by the standards of Italian horror, and just the name “Vincent Price” in the credits leads one to suspect that this will be another campy, B-movie.  Perhaps that’s why I’m always surprised to rediscover that, taking all things into consideration, this is actually a pretty effective film.  Price does have a few over-the-top moments but, for the most part, he gives one of his better performances here and the black-and-white images have an isolated, desolate starkness to them that go a long way towards making this film’s apocalypse a convincing one.  The mass cremation scene always leaves me feeling rather uneasy.

The film is based on Richard Matheson’s I Am Legend and no, it’s nowhere as good as the book.  However, it’s a lot better than the Will Smith version.

If you have 87 minutes to kill, please enjoy The Last Man On The Earth.

Horror Novel Review: Trapped by R.L. Stine

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

All good things must come to an end and so must all bad things. The original Fear Street series concluded with Trapped, an enjoyably macabre and kind of grotesque take on The Breakfast Club.

You know how these things go. You’ve got five students and they’re all stuck in detention. Elaine is the smart girl who failed to turn in her homework. (They give you detention for that?) The principal hopes that the other detainees won’t be a bad influence on her. (Then don’t give her detention in the first place, you jerk!) Darlene is the girl who doesn’t take any crap from anyone. Jerry is the Brain, who was sent to detention because he refused to dissect a frog. (I remember an entire episode of Saved By The Bell that dealt with the same issue.) Max is a spray paint artist who uses the school as his canvas. And Bo? Well, Bo’s a good-looking rebel who likes to burn stuff.

Anyway, detention is kind of boring and, since no one wants to have a therapy session like they did n the Degrassi episode that was based on The Breakfast Club, the students decide to explore the tunnels that are underneath Shadyside High. It’s rumored that some kids died down there in the 60s! Stupid hippies! Though some are initially hesitant, all five of the students end up in the tunnels. And that’s where they get trapped!

And, listen, I can understand how this happens. I get lost in mazes too. I once spent hours lost in a hedge maze and it was not fun. (I later got revenge by building a similar hedge maze in the Sims and then setting it on fire. The resulting inferno killed all of my Sims but, fortunately, their ghosts stuck around to haunt the house.) But it’s not just the maze aspect that makes the tunnels difficult to escape. There’s also this red mist that, when it envelopes you, snaps your bones and folds you into a tiny cube and basically kills you in the worst, most painful way possible.

AGCK!

Seriously, that mist is so viscous and the deaths are so drawn out and the book ends on such a downbeat note, I had to remind myself that I was reading a book by R.L. Stine and not Christopher Pike. There’s not much humor to be found in Trapped. Unlike other Fear Street novels, it doesn’t end on a note of hope. Instead, there’s just death, violence, and pain. It makes sense, I guess. This was the final Fear Street book so Stine wasn’t obligated to try to get people to come back for the next one. He could be as morbid as he wanted to be and the end result is actually pretty good. That red mist is actually pretty scary!

I enjoyed Trapped. I’m glad I never explored any of the underground tunnels under my school. Who knows what might have been down there! Hmmm …. now, I’m tempted to find out….

Book Review: L.A. Exposed: Strange Myths and Curious Legends in the City of Angels by Paul Young

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Before I say anything about this book, I have to give out a shout out to Recycled Books of Denton, Texas.  Recycled Books is a huge used bookstore.  When I was going to college, I used to visit Recycled Books nearly everyday.  I loved the books.  I love the atmosphere.  I even loved the shag carpeting.  I’ve recently been trying to organize and read all of the books in my collection. As I’ve been going through them, I couldn’t help but notice just how many of them I purchased from Recycled Books!

And yes, L.A. Exposed is one of those books.

First published in 2002, L.A. Exposed is an enjoyably gossipy look at all of the legends and mysteries surrounding Los Angeles.  The book provides a nice mix of celebrity gossip, rock star decadence, and — most importantly — supernatural speculation.  I mean, yes, it was interesting to read about whether or not John Barrymore’re body was stolen from the morgue.  And I’m sure some people will automatically turn the chapter about whether or not Courtney Love had Kurt Cobain murdered.  There’s a lot about OJ Simpson and the corruption of the LAPD as well.  The deaths of Marilyn Monroe, Sam Cooke, and Bobby Fuller are all examined.  Was Charles Manson an FBI informant?  Read the book for yourself.

But, for me, the most interesting parts of the book were the sections dealing with haunted Hollywood, sea serpents, UFO sightings, Bigfoot spottings, cult activities, and the Lemurians.  Do you know who the Lemurians were?  They were like the people of Atlantis but, if you believe the legend, they were smart enough to sail for California before their continent sank.  And, according to some, they currently live inside a mountain near Los Angeles.  I imagine that’s a good way to avoid the IRS.

By this point, our regular readers should realize that I’m a natural skeptic.  I don’t believe in UFOs, ghosts, sea serpents, or Lemurians.  But they’re still a lot of fun to read about.  In fact, it’s even more fun when you don’t believe because you can enjoy the idea of Bigfoot without worrying actually meeting him.

Anyway, this is a fun book and good read.  Order a copy before your next California vacation.  And thank you, Recycled Books, for stocking it where I could easily find it, all those years ago!

Cleaning Out The DVR: Outlaw Blues (dir by Richard T. Heffron)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1977 film, Outlaw Blues, opens in Huntsville State Prison. An arrogant country music star named Garland Dupree (James T. Callahan) is about to perform for the prisoners. He’s hoping his Huntsville concert will do for him what playing at Folsom did for Johnny Cash. The warden insists that Garland listen to a song written and performed by a soft-spoken prisoner named Bobby Ogden (Peter Fonda). A visibly annoyed Garland agrees but he doesn’t actually listen while Bobby performs. Instead, Garland is too busy arguing with the manager of his record label, Hatch (Michael Lerner). However, the members of Garland’s backup band record Bobby as he sings.

Several months later, Bobby is about to be released from prison when he learns that Garland is performing his song. Not only has Garland made it a hit but he’s also taking credit for writing it! Garland and Hatch even copyrighted the song, something that Bobby was never able to do because he was in prison.

Released from prison, Bobby ends up in Austin. He wants to stay out of prison and get his life straightened out. He wants to pursue a career as a singer. And he wants Garland to admit that he stole Bobby’s song. Unfortunately, when Bobby confronts Garland, things escalate and Garland ends up accidentally getting shot. Garland survives but now Bobby has the police after him. With the help of one of Garland’s former backup singers, Tina Waters (Susan Saint James), Bobby tries to become a star while staying one step ahead of the cops. Like the outlaws of old, Bobby and Tina sneak around Texas, performing where they can. (Knowing that any publicity is good publicity, Tina often calls the cop just as Bobby finishes his show, all the better for her and Bobby to make a dramatic escape.) Hatch is eager to record and release a Bobby Ogden record but both Bobby and Tina know that he can’t be trusted. But with the cops closing in, what choice do they have?

For a film about criminals on the run, Outlaw Blues is a surprisingly loose and laid back movie. It’s definitely a product of the 70s. It celebrates rebellion and doing your own thing, it mixes drama and comedy and, because it was made in the 70s, you know there’s always a good chance that, regardless of how pleasant the majority of the film may be, everyone’s going to die at the end of the movie. That definitely adds some tension to the film’s story that might not otherwise be there. For the most part, though, this is an enjoyable little lark of a drive-in movie. It celebrates individualism while also finding time for a few songs and a car chase or two.

A good deal of the film’s charm is the result of the chemistry between the two stars. Peter Fonda and Susan Saint James just seem as if they belong together and they both play characters who are written with slightly more depth than you might otherwise expect from what was obviously meant to be a cheap, drive-in film. Tina may appear to be a hippie but, as played by Saint James, she eventually turns out to be a clever businesswoman and promoter. As for Peter Fonda, he definitely had his acting limitations but he also had a nice smile and a far more likable screen presence than you might suspect if you only know him from his remote performance in Easy Rider. In Outlaw Blues, Fonda’s inexpressive manner feels right for someone who has spent most of his life in prison and who is still adjusting to being on the outside. Fonda wins you over and, once his character falls in love with Saint James, Fonda starts to relax and you get the feeling that both he and Bobby Ogden are having fun.

Outlaw Blues may be a minor 70s film but it’s likable. It has an amiable spirit which makes it worth watching.

The TSL’s Grindhouse: The Naked Witch (dir by Larry Buchanan)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1964 film, The Naked Witch, opens with a prologue that explains the role of witchcraft throughout the ages. That, in itself, is not surprising. A lot of supernaturally-themed films opens with a prologue that’s designed to give the film some sort of historical basis. It’s one of the oldest tricks in the book. Give your cheap film some credibility by claiming that it’s “based on a true story.”

What sets The Naked Witch apart is that the prologue just goes on and on. For ten minutes, we stare at Bosch paintings while an officious sounding narrator discusses the history of witchcraft. The paintings are effectively macabre but it all goes on for so long that you can’t help but get the feeling that the prologue was mostly added to pad out the running time. It’s almost as if director Larry Buchanan was basically admitting that he didn’t really have enough of an actual story to justify a feature-length running time. Of course, this shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone who is familiar with Larry Buchanan’s filmography.

Once the narration finally ends, we find ourselves watching The Student (Robert Short) as he drives through central Texas. The Student suddenly takes over the narration, telling us that he’s driving through the Texas German Counties. He’s visiting towns and counties that were founded by German settlers. The townspeople all have German names. Most of them still speak German in private. They all dress like they’ve just returned from a night at a Munich beer hall. Interestingly enough, these counties and towns do actually exist, though I’ve never seen anyone casually wearing lederhosen or a dirndl in Central Texas. Of course, this film was made a bit before my time so maybe that used to be a tradition back in 1964. Maybe people stopped doing it after The Naked Witch came out. Or, even more intriguingly, maybe people stopped doing because The Naked Witch came out. We’ll probably never know for sure.

Anyway, the Student is kind of an idiot because he manages to run out of gas while driving out in the middle of nowhere. I guess it didn’t occur to him to fill up the tank before trying to drive through a largely empty stretch of land. Leaving his car behind, he manages to walk to the real-life town of Luckenbach, Texas. He’s shocked to discover the none of the townspeople want to talk about long-dead witch that was supposedly buried in town. Why, it’s almost as if the people of Luckenbach understand that it’s not a good idea to brag about living under the threat of a supernatural curse.

Largely due to the Student’s stupidity, the Witch (played by Libby Hall) comes back from the dead. She’s naked, which I imagine was probably the film’s main selling point back in 1964. The Witch wants revenge on the descendants of the people who put her to death. The Students just wants to hook up with The Witch.

And that’s really pretty much it. Even by the admittedly low standard set by Larry Buchanan’s other films, the plot of The Naked Witch is pretty much impossible to follow. It’s incoherent and yet, strangely enough, that incoherence sometime works in the film’ favor. The atmospheric Texas landscape, when combined with the overly theatrical performance of Libby Hall, gives the film a dream-like feel. Even the fact that the film features three separate narrators all contribute to the movie’s surreal style. At its best, The Naked Witch is an existential mood piece. At its worst, it’s just a really bad, zero-budget drive-in movie.

The Naked Witch is an odd film but, if you’re looking for a ten minute history on witchcraft followed by a Texas travelouge, the film might be for you.