Music Video of the Day: I’m Afraid of Americans by David Bowie (1997, dir by Dom & Nic)

Posted on January 8, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today would have been David Bowie’s 76th birthday so it only feels appropriate that our music video of the day should come from him. In I’m Afraid of Americans, Bowie is pursued through New York City by Trent Reznor.

This is a song that has been interpreted and re-interpreted several times through the years. Bowie himself indicated that the song wasn’t anti-American as much as it was about America’s cultural and commercial dominance over much of the world. Of course, more recently, other critics have insisted in finding a message about the current state of American politics in the song’s lyrics, despite the fact that Bowie died before the start of our current political era. Myself, when I watched the video, I immediately thought of the paranoia that many felt and some still feel about COVID, with Bowie representing the wealthy city dweller who finds himself fleeing from anyone who he fears might be unvaccinated or infected. Like all great songs and videos, I’m Afraid of Americans can mean a host of different things depending on when you watch or listen to it.

Enjoy!

January Positivity: Without Reservation (dir by Fred Carpenter)

Posted on January 7, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1989 film, Without Reservation, opens with a scene that should strike horror in the hearts of many viewers.

A high school basketball teams attempts to rap. Each member of the team takes a verse, introducing themselves and struggling to come up with an appropriate rhyme to go along with their name. I suppose that, as far as rapping goes, they’re about as skilled as you would expect any group of white, upper middle class suburban teenagers to be. This scene goes on forever and, oddly enough, it doesn’t really have much to do with anything else that happens in the film. One gets the feeling that it was only added to pad out the film’s 24-minute runtime. Perhaps it was added to let the viewers know that the filmmakers weren’t stodgy old men whose knowledge of music ended with Sinatra. No, the filmmakers were people who understood that sometimes teenagers enjoyed rap music. They were down with the youth.

(Actually, as much as I’m making fun of the scene, it may be one of the more realistic pats of Without Reservation. I went to an upper middle class high school in the suburbs. The majority of my classmates were dorky white kids who thought they could rap. Most of them were pretty bad but they were still better than the members of this film’s basketball team)

Anyway, once the rapping’s done, it’s time for six teenagers to climb into a car, drive too fast, and up getting hit by a truck. Four of the teens suddenly find themselves apparently floating in space in the remains of their car. They’re all dead and now, they’re waiting to find out where they’re going to go. Do they have a reservation in Heaven or not? Fortunately, there’s a man wearing a tuxedo (with a red bow-tie) who is working the heavenly registration desk. He has a big, bulky, old school computer. He asks for names and when he get them, he checks to see if they have a reservation. He ends up telling the majority of people to step to the left, which is a polite way of saying, “Welcome to eternal damnation.”

Needless to say no one in the car has a reservation. They all wish they could get one but it’s too late because they’re dead now. We watch as they’re told to step to the left. One of them ends up getting dragged over to a freight elevator and descends to the underworld. It’s actually an oddly effective image. If nothing else, the film does do a good job of creating an atmosphere of impending doom. And yet, it’s hard not to feel that, like so many similar films, the main goal here is to frighten people into compliance as opposed to making a case for one belief system or another. The emphasis is on punishment and pain and the film almost seems to encourage viewers to look down on those who don’t have reservations. Yes, the film seems to be saying, he may be able to rap but he’s still not in the system. Aren’t you glad that you’re not as dumb of Bill?

Anyway, Without Reservation is crudely effective, even if the ultimate message appears to be that the afterlife is a tacky resort with an out-dated computer system.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/1/23 — 1/7/23

Posted on January 7, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As the first week of January comes to a close, here’s some thoughts on what I watched!

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

Abbott Elementary returned this week with a sweet episode in which we got to see that Melissa actually is a really good teacher and that Jacob has no idea how to do a podcast. I have to admit that I cheered a little when, at the end of the episode, Melissa revealed that, due to the contest rules being poorly written, her “classroom” had indeed won the reading competition.

The Circle (Netflix)

The Circle was back with four more episodes on Wednesday. Marvin destroyed his game by trying to be a player while Billie-Jean and Shubham ended up getting eliminated. (Shubham did not help himself by losing his temper while answering a “savage question.”) I want to like Raven but the whole “everything about Raven is perfect” narrative makes it difficult. At this point, my favorites are Tom and Xanthi & Brett. I also have to say that I found Sam to be a lot more likable this week than I did last week.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)

Hell’s Kitchen returned and we have finally reached my favorite part of the season, when Chef Ramsay starts to show his softer and more encouraging side and the remaining chefs finally get a chance to show how good (or bad) they can be. Abe got sent home but he also get some words of encouragement. That was nice. I actually like all of the remaining chefs but it’s hard not to feel like its pretty obvious that Alex is going to win.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

Law & Order returned with a new episode and this week and — yeesh! After several episodes that were generally intelligent, well-done, and not too heavy-handed, this week’s episode felt like a parody of Law & Order. This week’s murder victim was a undocumented immigrant who had been sent to New York City from Texas so, of course, we had to spend a lot of time listening to the cops talk about how heartless the governor of Texas was. It always amuses me how this show always features a bunch of blue collar cops suddenly talking like MSNBC analysts. I wonder if the show will do a future episode about the Democratic governor of Colorado sending people to New York? I kind of doubt it.

Anyway, it turned out the murderer was a real estate mogul who was obviously meant to be a stand-in for one of the Trump kids. In order to convict him, the prosecutors had to get testimony from a woman who worked in his office but — are you ready for this? — the woman was also an undocumented immigrant! As soon as she testified, she was deported back to Lebanon. After 20+ episodes, Sam was finally allowed to get upset about something and show a hint of personality. Whatever else you might say about this episode, it’s nice that Sam finally got some hint of a backstory. Up until last night, she was one of the most underwritten characters in the history of this show.

The show certainly tried to tug at the heart strings with this episode but it was so just so heavy-handed and clumsily written that it had the opposite effect.

Madoff: The Monster of Wall Street (Netflix)

This is Joe Berlinger’s latest Netflix true crime docuseries. Over the course of four episodes, Berlinger explores the story of Bernie Madoff. When I started watching, I was skeptical because I really didn’t feel that there was much left to be said about Bernie Madoff but both Berlinger and the show did a good job of explaining not only what Madoff did but also how he was able to get away with it for so long. Along with taking a look at Madoff’s life, the film also examined the people that he hurt (including his two sons, both of whom emerge as tragic figures).

One thing that I did learn is that, while Madoff did handle accounts for a lot of famous and rich people, the majority of his clients were just normal people who were looking for someone to handle their retirement funds. These people were victimized twice, both by Madoff and then by the government regulators. Despite the fact that none of these people knew about Madoff’s crimes, many of them lost their homes and were driven into bankruptcy when they were ordered to help pay back the money that Madoff had stolen.

The film features a lot of footage of the now-deceased Madoff being interviewed in prison. Even imprisoned and shunned by his family, Madoff still didn’t seem to feel that he had done anything wrong. This is probably the first Madoff documentary that has really convinced me that Bernie Madoff really was as evil as everyone says.

Night Flight (Night Flight+)

On Friday night and Saturday morning, I watched the Parts 3 and 4 of Night Flight’s 1983 New Year celebration. The music was good. The stand-up comedians were bad. A surprisingly coherent Ozzy Osbourne was interviewed about whether or not he had actually bitten the head off of a bat. He said it was an accident and assured the interviewer that the rabies shots were not fun.

Tough as Nails (Wednesday Night, CBS)

The blue collar reality show is back. To be honest, this show would be more interesting if it was office workers and executives being forced to do things like build buildings and unclog drains. But whatever. I like Phil Keoghan as the host. Just as with The Amazing Race, he seems to genuinely care about the people competing.

The Twilight Zone (Sunday and Monday, SyFy)

On New Year’s Day, SyFy had their annual Twilight Zone marathon! I watched a few episodes, in between watching movies and doing other things. I caught the Monsters Are Due On Maple Street and the one where Burgess Meredith breaks his reading glasses and realizes that he’ll never be able to read another book. Unfortunately, I did not catch the one with William Shatner and the Gremlin on the wing.

I watched a few more episodes on Monday. Again, I missed the Gremlin on the wing but I did see the one with the guy who was dreaming about being on death row. That’s personal favorite of mine.

Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 3.6 “The Long Goodbye” and 3.7 “Trust Me”

Posted on January 7, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing California Dreams, which ran on NBC from 1992 to 1996. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Do surf dudes still have attitude in 2023? I was going to suggest watching California Dreams to find out but, then again, today’s episodes are from 1994 so I guess that wouldn’t really answer the question.

Oh well, onward to the reviews….

Episode 3.6 “The Long Goodbye”

(Dir by Patirck Maloney, originally aired on October 15th, 1994)

In a rare nod to continuity, Nikki Cox returns as Sly’s blind girlfriend, Allison!

Sly is being so nice and considerate to Allison that it leads to Lorena and Sam realizing that Tony and Jake are totally inconsiderate pigs who won’t even hold open a door for them! Instead of changing their ways, Tony and Jake demand that Sly stop being so romantic. Sly, however, is devoted to Allison and he even joins the track team so that he can give her a letterman’s jacket and ask her to be his “exclusive” girlfriend. Allison takes her to Sharky’s to pop the question and attempts to convince her that they’re at a romantic French restaurant by having Tony speak with a French accent. Tony’s accent is terrible. Allison sees right through him….

Unfortunately, Allison is moving away! She’s been accepted at a prep school in Chicago, one that will prepare her to teach blind children. Sly, as usual, acts like a jerk and all of the Dreams gang up on him for being distant with Allison after learning that she’s leaving but honestly, Sly’s reaction was realistic. That doesn’t mean that Sly wasn’t wrong for 1) refusing to return Allison’s calls and 2) trying to go on a date on the same night that Allison was having her going-away party but people do stupid things when their heart is broken. And, just like many people do in real life, Sly eventually saw the error of his ways and he had a rather sweet conversation with Allison at the party. It’s a shame that Allison left the series as Nikki Cox and Michael Cade had a far more believable chemistry than the show’s main couples.

Speaking of which, this episode featured a rather stupid subplot in which Tony and Jake attempted to be more romantic by pretending to be the lead characters of the romance novel that Tiffany is reading. Needless to say, this leads to Renaissance costumes and fencing. It’s pretty dumb (though Jay Anthony Franke and Williams James Jones deserve some credit for the extent to which they threw themselves into it) but it’s also an indication of just how different season 3 of California Dreams was from season 2 of California Dreams.

All that said, this was definitely one of the better episodes of California Dreams and, again, credit for that goes to Michael Cade and Nikki Cox and their ability to bring some much-needed reality to the show’s musical hijinks.

Episode 3.7 “Trust Me”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on October 22nd, 1994)

Sly has entered the Dreams into a music video contest! The only problem is that Jake and Mark have yet to finish writing the lyrics for the Dreams’s newest song. Maybe they should give Matt Garrison a call and ask for his advice.

Not wanting to visit his creepy uncle, Mark spends the weekend at Lorena’s loft. He and Jake are supposed to be working on the song but Lorena would rather have fun and watch movies! Jake accuses Lorena of being a distraction. Jake and Lorena fight and later, after Jake has gone home for the night, Mark kisses Lorena. Uh-oh!

Mark, it appears, misinterpreted the fight. It turns out that Lorena and Jake fight all the time and it’s actually a huge part of what they enjoy about their relationship. Feeling guilty, Mark writes and then sings a song about how he kissed Lorena. Jake loses it and refuses to perform with Mark. Fortunately, two bullies show up at Sharky’s and try to give Jake a hard time. When Mark stands up to the bullies, it leads to a brawl and a renewed friendship. Yay!

But did the Dreams wins the contest? We never find out.

As for the episode itself, it provided a showcase for the two newest members of the cast and Diana Uribe and Aaron Jackson both did a really good job. I could relate to Lorena because I’ve had the same “You’re a distraction” line tossed at me and it definitely hurts. And Aaron Jackson totally sold the scene where he nervously sang Jake the lyrics about kissing Lorena. All in all, this was another good episode.

Way to go, Dreams!

A Blast From The Past: What Made Sammy Speed?

Posted on January 7, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

From 1959, here’s a short film that asks the question, “What made Sammy speed?”

(I’m going to guess that the title is meant to pay homage to the novel, What Makes Sammy Run?)

Sammy Robertson (played, in flashbacks, by David Felshaw) was a popular high school student until he was killed when his car collided with a truck. A local detective tries to figure out what caused the accident to happen. To be honest, I’m not really sure why there’s any question as to why it happened. Sammy was speeding. He ran a stop sign. The truck crashed into his car. It’s tragic and there’s definitely a lesson to be learned about paying attention to the road but it’s not particularly complicated. It really doesn’t seem like the sort of thing that would require a massive criminal investigation. It’s not like Sammy was smuggling drugs or drinking or driving or anything like that. At most, the cops might want to ask themselves why the stop sign was at such a strange angle.

Still, since there’s apparently no other crimes being committed in this town, the detective spends a few days talking to Sammy’s relatives and his friends and trying to figure out why Sammy felt it was okay to speed. (The driver of the truck, meanwhile, is totally let off the hook. How fast was he going because it looks like he really messed up Sammy’s car.) The detective learns that Sammy’s father wasn’t a particularly good driver. He learns that Sammy’s little brother looked up to Sammy whenever he would drive fast. He learned that Sammy’s friends were impressed by his car and his total lack of concern when it came to safety. (That said, most of them still refused to ride with him. They knew better than to risk their chances to attend the next sock hop.) He learns that, shortly before the accident, Sammy’s boss couldn’t give him a raise and that Sammy failed in his attempts to join the school’s baseball team. Broke and not destined for athletic glory, Sammy needed to feel like a man so he ignored the speed limit and the stop sign. He had issues with authority, the detective tells us.

Yes, the detective tells us a lot. That’s because this is a Sid Davis production and no Sid Davis production was complete without a judgmental narrator. In this case, the narrator decides that everyone was to blame for Sammy driving too fast so I guess the message here is to let a bad player on the team and always give your employees a raise whether you can afford it or not. If you don’t, the worst possible thing that could happen will happen. That was another frequent Sid Davis lesson. The worst always happens, no matter what. That said, my main takeaway from this film was that Sammy was just naturally self-destructive. It really doesn’t sound like anyone could have saved Sammy. Sammy’s enemy was not the coach, his boss, his father, the cops, or even his little brother. Sammy’s greatest enemy was himself.

Anyway, here’s a blast from the past from 1959. Watch it the next time you’re tempted to drive too fast.

International Film Review: All Quiet On The Western Front (dir by Edward Berger)

Posted on January 7, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

From the first scene of Germany’s All Quiet On The Western Front, it’s made clear that there is no glamour or romance to war.

The year is 1917 and the Great War (or World War I as future historians will call it) has been underway for three years. On the Western Front, soldiers hide in trenches and wait for the inevitable order to try to advance to the next set of trenches. Most of the soldiers are cut down by machine gun fire and explosions as soon as they go over the top. Many more are killed as they try to run across the killing field. We are introduced to one soldier who has been ordered to charge. Within a few minutes, he is dead and his uniform has been taken, washed, and sewn up so that it can be given to whoever will be the next to enlist. The whole process plays out with a disturbing efficiency. That several men have just died in a attack that seems to lack any strategic purpose does not matter. What matters is that the uniform be ready to be worn by whoever follows.

The uniform is next handed to Paul (Felix Kammerer), a 17 year-old who not only enlists in the Imperial Germany Army but who plays a key role in convincing his friends to enlist as well. Paul has been moved by the patriotic speeches that he heard from his teachers. He expects war to be an adventure. Upon their arrival on the Western Front, Paul and his friends are surrounded by death. With their uniforms on and their gas masks over their faces, they are nearly unrecognizable as individuals. Instead, they look like what they are, cogs in the war machine. Paul spends his first night in the trenches while bombs explode all around him. His friend, Ludwig (Adrian Grunewald), cries that he wants to return home. By the next morning, Ludwig is one of the many who is now dead. Only Kat (Albrecht Schuch) is willing to look after Paul and his friends. Kat is considered to be a weathered veteran because he has managed to survive for nearly a year on the Western Front.

All Quiet On The Western Front is based on the classic anti-war novel by Erich Maria Remarque. (A previous adaptation won the Oscar for Best Picture in 1930 and is generally considered to be the first truly “good” Best Picture winner.) Th film takes some liberties with the book’s plot while still remaining faithful to Remarque’s theme of the futility of war. One change is that, along with following Paul’s day-to-day life on the Western Front, the film also details the efforts of diplomat Mattias Erzberger (Daniel Bruhl) to negotiate Germany’s surrender. It’s a fairly big departure from Remarque’s narrative but one that definitely stays true to the spirit of the book. Despite the fact that Germany knows that it has been defeated and that it will have to surrender, Paul and his friends are still expected to fight and sacrifice their lives for a victory that is no longer attainable. Indeed, the closer that Erzberger comes to signing a cease fire, the more determined General Friedrichs (Devid Striesow) becomes to launch one final, great offensive before the war ends. The soldier have no idea what is going on during Erzberger’s negotiations and Erzberger has no idea that Paul has lost the majority of his friends and has been forced to do things that will forever haunt him. They may not know about each other but Paul’s fate depends on Erzberger’s decisions and the legacy of Erzberger and all the other diplomats and commanders is to be found in what happens to soldiers like Paul.

All Quiet On The Western Front is a brutally effective anti-war film. Director Edward Berger puts the viewer right in the middle of combat and it is absolutely terrifying. Paul goes from being an enthusiastic patriot to a hollow-eyed cynic, one who knows that he is considered expendable by both the enemy and his commanders. The viewer, like Paul, quickly realizes that there is no way to win this war, other than to somehow survive long enough to return home. But even the soldiers who do survive understand that they won’t have much of a home to return to. (In a particularly shocking scene, one solder stabs himself in the neck with a fork rather than return home crippled.) While the the commanders negotiate in luxury, the soldiers live in mud and die almost randomly. The commanders may talk about strategy but the soldier know that survival comes down to luck.

It’s a harrowing film but it’s also exactly what an anti-war film should be. There’s a chance that this film could be the second adaptation of All Quiet On The Western Front to receive a nomination for Best Picture and it would certainly be deserved.

Guilty Pleasure No. 60: The Running Man (dir by Paul Michael Glaser)

Posted on January 7, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Killian, here’s your Subzero… now plain zero!”

Uhm, excuse me, Mr. Schwarzenegger, but a man just died. He probably had a family who just watched you kill him on national television….

Oh well, it happens! In the role of Ben Richards, Arnold Schwarzenegger kills quite a few people over the course of the 1987 film, The Running Man, but they were all bad. In fact, when we first meet Ben Richards, he’s a cop who is trying to save lives. His superiors want him to open fire on a bunch of protestors who simply want enough food to eat. When Richards refuses to do it, he is framed for perpetrating “the Bakersfield Massacre” and is sent to prison. When he is recaptured after escaping, he is given a chance to compete on America’s number one game show, The Running Man! Hosted and produced by Damon Killian (Richard Dawson, oozing smarm in a performance that — in a fair world — would have received Oscar consideration), The Running Man is a show in which prisoners are given a chance to win prizes like a trial by jury or maybe even a pardon. While the audience cheers and puts down bets, the prisoners are stalked by professional killers like Buzzsaw (Gus Rethwisch), Dynamo (Erland Van Lidth), Fireball (Jim Brown), and Sub-Zero (Professor Toru Tanaka). Along with Killian, Captain Freedom (Jesse Ventura) provides commentary and analysis on how the game is going. Ben soon finds himself joined by Amber (Maria Conchita Alonso), who proves herself to be just as tough as he is.

Seen today, The Running Man feels more than a bit prophetic. Due to worldwide economic collapse, the poor are getting poorer while the rich are getting richer. The American government has become both increasingly corporate and increasingly authoritarian. The citizens are entertained and manipulated by “reality” programming. On camera, Killian is a charismatic host who delivers his lines with faux sincerity and who loves to meet and give away prizes to the public. (There’s something both undeniably creepy and also rather familiar about the way that Killian sniffs the hair, rubs the shoulders and holds the arms of the audience members to whom he’s speaking. It’s all very calculated and one gets the feeling that Killian washes his hands as soon as the camera are off of him.) Behind the scenes, he drinks, smokes, curses, and is full of contempt for everyone around him. He may not be happy when Ben outsmarts and kills the show’s stalkers but he definitely cheers up when he hears how good the ratings are. The film is set in 2017, which was 30 years in the future when The Running Man was first released. Seen today, The Running Man’s 2017 feels a lot like our 2017….

That said, The Running Man is also a big, flamboyant, and undeniably entertaining film. It’s also surprisingly funny, at times. Living in a dystopia ahs turned everyone into a quip machine. None of the bad guys die without Schwarzenegger making a joke about it. (“Buzzsaw? He had to split.” Yes, he did.) The show’s vapid studio audience, who go from cheering the prospect of witnessing a bloody death to crying when their favorite stalker is killed, is both disturbing and humorous. (Also memorable is the faux somber dance number that is performed while the show memorializes all the dead stalkers.) For all the costumed heroes and villains, the film is practically stolen by an older woman named Agnes who becomes Ben Richards’s favorite fan. The gaming “quads” may be dark and dangerous and full of angry people but they’re also full of advertisements for Cadre Cola. Dey Young of Rock and Roll High School and Strange Behavior fame has a cameo as Amy, who pays six dollars for a can of Cadre. (That may seem like a lot for a can of anything but Cadre is the official cola of The Running Man! Damon Killian endorses it! And, of course, when The Running Man was produced, the studio was owned by Coca-Cola so the jokes about Cadre’s corporate dominance also serve as a “take that” towards the corporation who put up money for the film. Either that or Cadre is stand-in for Pepsi.)

It’s easy to compare The Running Man to The Hunger Games films but The Running Man is infinitely more fun, if just because it doesn’t make the mistake of taking itself as seriously as The Hunger Games did. (Add to that, The Running Man manages to wrap up its story in 90 minutes, whereas The Hunger Games needed four movies.) Like The Hunger Game, The Running Man is based on a book, in this case a very loose adaptation of one of the pulpy novels that Stephen King wrote under the name of Richard Bachman. While King said that he enjoyed the film, he also asked that his real name not be listed in the credits because the film had little in common with his book, which is fair enough. The Running Man may have been inspired by a Stephen King novel but it’s an Arnold Schwarzenegger production through-and-through.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

Music Video of the Day: The Damned by The Plasmatics (1982, dir by Ron Swenson)

Posted on January 7, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Friday night, some friends and I were watching an old New Year’s special from 1983. In between a few stand-up comedians and an interview with an oddly coherent Ozzy Osbourne, this video was broadcast.

Taking a school bus to the desert, singing on top of it, and then blowing it up? Hell yeah! All hail the revolution! It’s interesting to think that, just a few years ago, everyone wanted to be rebellious. As of late, I kind of feel like society has started to lose its rebellious spirit. People now seem to prefer complacency and conformity. That’s a shame but I think that revolutionary spirit is still out there. It’s just the same people have forgotten how to embrace it. It’ll return, though. Like a school bus blowing up in the desert, the temptation of free thought cannot be ignore for too long.

Lead singer Wendy O. Williams did all of her own stunts in the video, including climbing on top of the bus and jumping off right before it exploded. On top of the danger involved in driving a bus full of explosives, Wendy also did it all with a sprained ankle. MTV was apparently so worried that the video would inspire other people to try the same thing that they insisted a warning be added to the start of the video.

(My personal opinion on warnings is that they’re counter-productive. In fact, there’s something really hypocritical about warnings like the ones that MTV used to include before their shows. If you’re that concerned that a video or television show is going to lead to people doing something stupid and destructive and potentially life-threatening, then don’t broadcast it. The minute that you decide to air something, you’ve kind of lost the right to say, “Please watch this but don’t try to duplicate it.” To be honest, whenever I see a warning telling me not to do something, it just makes me want to do it more. That said, I don’t think I would be able to find the courage necessary to fool around with explosives. Or, for that matter, drive a school bus. I’m sure the bus is probably covered with germs and wads of chewing gum. Bleh!)

This video was directed, over the course of one day, by Ron Swenson. Of course, since the bus was due to explode during filming, almost every shot had to be completed in just one take.

Enjoy!

Lyrics:

Black visions from the satellite sky
Deaf ears hear not their cries
Fat jackals howl at the moon
Flies buzzing, playing death’s tune

Night ends but the sun it don’t rise
Tombs open and the dead they will rise
Black market buys your soul real cheap
No escaping, what you sow, you will reap

Prisoners of the damned
Find another land
Planet of the lost
Land of fire and frost

Prisoners of the dead
Fear the unknown dread
Tidal waves at sea
Set the serpents free

Coup d’etat on a global scale
Opposition, locked up in jail
Domination, the goons are the boss
Human race nailed to a cross

Prisoners of the damned
Find another land
Planet of the lost
Land of fire and frost

Prisoners of the dead
Fear the unknown dread
Tidal waves at sea
Set the serpents free

Prisoners of the damned
Find another land
Planet of the lost
Land of fire and frost

January Positivity: Gold Through The Fire (dir by Edward T. McDougal)

Posted on January 6, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Let’s just take a look at the poster for 1987’s Gold Through The Fire.

Wow, exciting poster, right? At the top of the poster, we’ve got the Kremlin and a sinister looking soldier firing a gun. One thing about Russia is that it doesn’t matter when the film was made or who was in charge of the country at the time, the Russian government always makes for a good villain.

The film’s tag line reads, “Peter’s American dream came true but the trial of his faith had just begun.” So, we now know that Peter (who we presume is the backpack wearing guy at the top of the poster) is probably going to escape Russia and come to America. And, just to make sure that there aren’t any doubts, there’s an American flag prominently displayed on the poster. There is also what appears to be a small town church and a few two-story houses. Peter’s heading to the heartland and good for him. Small town America comes under a lot of criticism but I’ve been to and lived in a few small towns and I usually had a pretty pleasant time. Despite their reputation, small towns are often more hospitable to newcomers than big cities.

Hey, so far, so good! The villains are Russian. The setting is small town America. Peter appears to be a totally decent teenager. This poster features a lot of reasons to be optimistic. Or, at least, it does until you look in the bottom left corner and you see that Peter appears to be playing soccer….

OH NO! IS THIS A SOCCER MOVIE!?

Well, fear not. Yes, the film does involve some soccer but, to be honest, the inclusion of soccer kind of makes sense. When Peter enrolls in his new American high school, he struggles to fit in. He can barely speak English. He is confused by most American customs. When someone asks him if he has any “records” from his previous school, he says that he enjoys music and this leads to the following comment from one of his classmates:

Poor Peter! As we saw at the start of the film, Peter has not had an easy life. He was born in Russia and when the communists discovered that his family was secretly Christian, Peter’s parents were shipped off to a reeducation camp and Peter was tossed into an orphanage. He eventually escaped, running all the way to Finland and then on to the American embassy. He defected and briefly became a celebrity. After being placed with a new American family, Peter enrolled at the local high school and discovered that American teenagers can be cruel.

But, we were talking about soccer, right?

Eventually, the few friends that Peter has made encourage him to try out for the team. Peter does start playing soccer and it turns out that he’s the best player in the school. And again, it makes sense as he’s the only student in the school who was born in a country where soccer is more popular than American football. (Of course, today, it seems strange that any high school would only have one student who wasn’t born in the U.S.) Unfortunately, since Peter insists on carrying his Bible around with him everywhere that he goes and trying to lead a prayer group on school ground, the school’s principal is not sure that Peter can be allowed to continue playing. The principal’s office is decorated with a print of Normal Rockwell’s Freedom of Speech, just in case you had any doubt that the school was being run by a Lefty version of Frasier Crane.

Not only does Peter have to deal with the school and its rules but the KGB is also after him. And his foster brother has lost his faith! Peter has a lot to deal with. Fortunately, his new foster family has a station wagon that he can drive around town while he’s thinking.

The best part of Gold Through The Fire is the beginning of the film, when Peter is trying to escape from Russia. That part of the film moves at a steady pace and, even more importantly, it captures the feel of living in a situation where you’re not allowed to think or speak for yourself. It perfectly captures the drabness of dictatorship. Unfortunately, once Peter gets to America, the action starts to drag, the actors are a bit less convincing in their roles, and the film gets bogged down in trying to convince us that America is just one step away from turning into Russia. There are also few too many awkward pop cultural references, as if the filmmakers were desperate to convince us that they understood what high school students were into despite not being in high school themselves. Today, the film works best as a time capsule. Everything about it, from the cars to the clothes to the hair to dialogue, simply screams 80s. Watching this film is like stepping into a time machine.

And hey, the soccer stuff isn’t actually that bad. That said, it’s hard for me to watch anything featuring soccer without being reminded of this:

Retro Television Review: One World 3.11 “Roots” and 3.12 “Say Cheese”

Posted on January 6, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing One World, which ran on NBC from 1998 to 2001. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

The Cast of One World

This week, with the end of the series in sight, the Blakes confront the past.

Episode 3.11 “Roots”

(Directed by Mary Lou Belli, originally aired on December 2nd, 2000)

When Dave and Karen go out of town for the weekend, the Blake children decide to turn their house into a Bed & Breakfast. Like, how the Hell do you even do that on short notice? It’s like the Blakes decide to do it and then, an hour later, they’re full booked and Marci has a registration desk set up.

Meanwhile, a far more serious storyline is taking place. With the help of St. Neal, Cray tracks down his grandfather and is shocked to discover that his grandfather is black. Cray is so shocked that he runs out of the Warehouse. (Of course, their first meeting was taking place at Miami’s “hottest under 21 club.”) Cray explains to Neal that he’s not a racist. He was just shocked to discover that he wasn’t the same ethnicity as his adoptive parents. However, anyone who has been watching this show knows that Cray is not Caucasian because he’s clearly not. (In real life, Brandon Baker is half-Filipino.) So, it’s kind of hard to believe the Cray was that stunned to discover that he was a person of color. Fortunately, it turns out that Cray’s grandfather has the patience of a saint and forgives Cray for running away from him because of his skin color, which …. I mean, that’s really fucked up, isn’t it? Cray’s grandfather comes over for dinner and explains that Cray is a fourth black, a fourth Puerto Rican, and half-white. Again, his grandfather seems like a very nice man but again, Cray ran out of the Warehouse specifically because his grandfather has black skin. WHO IS THAT FORGIVING!? The grandfather tells Cray about his family and tells him that he’s always missed him. (“Awwwwww!” the audience says.) Cray accepts his black grandfather and says that he loves him. (“Awwwww!” the audience repeats itself.)

To be honest, TNBC was always at its worst whenever it tried to deal with racial subject matter. One World had the most diverse cast of any of the TNBC shows but the characters were still often just stereotypes. TNBC shows were required to wrap up their stories in 20 minutes and that’s not really something you can do when it comes to dealing with race in America.

Episode 3.12 “Say Cheese”

(Directed by Mary Lou Belli, originally aired on December 16th, 2000)

Jane’s birthday is coming up so Dave wants to get a picture of the entire family together. This leads to everyone discussing the past three years and …. you got it. It’s a clip show.

I think this was originally meant to be the final episode of the show and it would have been a nice note to wrap up on. However, because TNBC always showed episodes out-of-order, there would be one more episode of One World. We’ll review that one next week and then, it will be time to move on to another show!