For today’s music video of the day, we have this visually stunning offering from my favorite band, Saint Motel!
Enjoy!
For today’s music video of the day, we have this visually stunning offering from my favorite band, Saint Motel!
Enjoy!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
Attention shoppers, tonight’s episode is weird.
Episode 1.11 “Love on Sale”
(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on December 11th, 1985)
Weird episode.
Mrs. Cobb (Barbara Hamilton) wants to open up a store in Saudi Arabia so she assigns Howard to give a speech to a group of “Arab investors,” while she spends the night seducing a sheik. Howard agrees and is told that, if everything works out, he could end up as the President of Cobb’s International. Going from being the manager of grocery store to an international business tycoon would be quite an accomplishment. Of course, Mrs. Cobb also expects Howard to dress up like Peter O’Toole in Lawrence of Arabia. This leads to both Edna and Murray punching him out because they initially don’t recognize him in his costume.
Meanwhile, Murray is trying to raise $150 so that he can buy Howard’s old car, which is apparently sitting on a bunch of milk crates somewhere. Murray is a teenager who doesn’t even know how to drive but he really wants that car. How can Murray earn $150?
(Just consider that apparently, Murray doesn’t even make $150 a week from his job at Cobb’s.)
After a customer gives Murray a five dollar tip after Murray introduces him to a female shopper, Murray decides that he’ll start hooking up the single shoppers in return for a ten dollar payment. Howard thinks that this is a fine idea, as long as Murray doesn’t try to hook up anyone who is married. (Personally, I can’t think of anything that would make grocery shopping more awkward than having a 15 year-old bagboy trying to convince me to date someone while I’m looking over the produce but whatever.) Soon, Murray is making all sorts of money but then a Vice detective shows up and arrests Howard for running an escort service.
While dressed like Lawrence of Arabia, Howard is thrown in jail. In his cell, there are two burly men who continually threaten to beat him up, a skinny guy who talks about how he ate someone’s face, and a male lawyer who is wearing hot pink high heels. Murray, Christian, and Alf show up at the station and explain that they were all involved in getting people dates at Cobbs and, as a result, they’re all tossed in the cell as well.
Somehow, Howard and his employees do get released because, the next day, Howard comes to work and discovers that every swinger in the city is eager to shop at his store and Mrs. Cobb is not upset about Howard missing the meeting with the investors because Mrs. Cobb was able to seduce the sheik. Howard says that he can’t wait to be in charge of Cobb’s International because then he’ll be able to get a harem, which leads to Edna punching him.
Weird, weird episode. It’s hard to even review this episode because it really does take place in its own rather surreal reality. That said, I kind of appreciated the episode’s nonstop jokiness. There wasn’t a serious moment to be found here and, while some of the jokes fell flat, some of them worked surprisingly well. It’s an extremely silly episode that doesn’t add up to much but it’s just weird enough to be entertaining.
It’s the holidays and, as a result, I haven’t had much time to watch television this week. In fact, outside of the stuff that I watch for my Retro Television Reviews, I only watched three shows this week.
All In The Family (YouTube)
On Friday night, my friend Pat suggested checking out the 1976 Christmas episode of All In the Family, in which a draft-dodging friend of Mike’s visits from Canada. He shows up at the Bunker household, right on Christmas day! At the same time, a friend of the Archie Bunker’s is visiting. Pinky lost his son in Vietnam.
Now, really, the whole conflict in this episode could have been avoided if the draft dodger had just kept his mouth shut when Archie started asking him what was so great about living in Canada. But the dodger felt that he had to reveal the truth about why he went up north. Archie wanted to kick him out but Pinky was understanding and forgiving.
This was a well-acted episode with a powerful message but I do have to admit that I could kind of see Archie’s point. It’s his house! He’s the one who paid for the Christmas dinner that they’re all eating. If he doesn’t want to have a draft dodger sitting at the table in his house and eating the food that he paid for, that’s actually Archie’s right. Still, I’m glad that Archie didn’t kick the draft dodger out because the guy actually was reasonably polite and everyone should have some place to go on Christmas.
Baywatch Nights (YouTube)
I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!
Check It Out (Tubi)
My review of Check It Out should be dropping in about 30 minutes.
CHiPs (Freevee)
Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)
I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!
Fantasy Island (Daily Motion)
I wrote about Fantasy Island here!
Friday the 13th (YouTube)
I wrote about Friday the 13th here!
Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)
Why would anyone agree to hold a charity event at Hell’s Kitchen? That’s what I found myself wondering as I watched the latest episode of Hell’s Kitchen on Thursday. Surely, they’ve seen enough episodes of this show to know that they’re going to be running the risk of getting raw chicken and rubbery scallops.
Anyway, I was sad to see Donya go. I think the only reason Ramsay is keeping Jason around is for the drama. Go Ryan!
Highway to Heaven (Tubi)
I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!
Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)
I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here …. here!
The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)
I wrote about The Love Boat here!
Monsters (Tubi)
Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town (Tuesday Night, ABC)
It’s the holidays so, naturally, I had to watch this classic. The old Christmas specials have never really been topped, despite Disney’s best efforts.
T and T (Tubi)
Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
It’s time for a new school year and a new addition to the Kotter family!
Episode 3.2 “And Baby Makes Four, Part One”
(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on September 15th, 1977)
This episode opens with the sad scene of Gabe Kotter staring at himself in the bathroom mirror and telling himself a joke about his Uncle Charlie. Even Gabe is not impressed with the joke and tells himself that he needs to be more funny. Poor, Gabe!
Watching this scene, I was reminded of all the stories I’ve read about how much Gabe Kaplan and Marcia Strassman disliked each other and how Strassman apparently really couldn’t stand having to listen to and laugh at Kaplan’s jokes. Apparently, by the time the third season rolled around, the hostility between Kaplan and Strassman was so pronounced and obvious that even the actors playing the Sweathogs were forced to take sides, with Ron Pallilo siding with Strassman, Robert Hegyes and Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs siding with Kaplan, and John Travolta trying to get along with everyone. On the one hand, the opening scene here once again reminds us that Gabe is compulsive joke teller. On the other hand, it’s hard not to feel that it was written to give Strassman a break from Kaplan.
Of course, the very next scene features Gabe and Julie awkwardly interacting, as Gabe tells the very pregnant Julie everything that she should do if she goes into labor while Gabe is at school. Gabe tells Julie to call a cab, call the school and tell Woodman and then Gabe will call Dr. Melman and they’ll all meet at the hospital. Julie assures Gabe that she’s not due for another week but Gabe says that he’s not sure that the baby knows that. He then tells a joke to the baby while Julie grimaces.
It’s the first day of school! Horshack is super excited while Epstein and Washington are still thinking about the fun they had during the 1977 New York City blackout. (Epstein gave lemonade to “people running with a TV set.” Washington “ran with a TV set.”) Barbarino is not at all excited because, just before school began, he received a letter telling him that he was going to have to repeat the 10th Grade. Barbarino explains that he skipped the exam that all the students were required to take to be promoted into the next grade but he thought that Mr. Kotter was going to handle it for him.
(Myself, I’m just shocked to learn that the Sweathogs were only supposed to be in the 10th Grade when the show began. Considering that Horshack and Epstein both appear to be in their 30s, Washington appears to be in his mid-twenties, and Barbarino looks like he’s around 20, I’m going to guess that getting held back is not necessarily a new experience for this group.)
Determined not to be held back, Barbarino decides to sit in the classroom as if nothing has happened and he’s been promoted with the rest of the Sweathogs. When Gabe arrives, he’s not surprised to see Barbarino in his classroom, mostly because Gabe doesn’t know that Barbarino was held back. It’s not until Woodman, ordered by Principal Lazarus to personally welcome back each class, steps into the room that Barbarino’s status at a 10th Grader is revealed.
Gabe is shocked to hear that Barbarino was held back. Barbarino says that Gabe was supposed to take care of it. Gabe says that he did when he arranged for Barbarino to take a makeup exam. But Barbarino thought that, when Gabe said he would take care of it, Gabe would sneak into the principal’s office and fix the records Barbarino didn’t realize he still actually had to take the test and now, his dreams of being “a doctor …. or a longshoreman” have been put at risk.
Woodman laughs maniacally as Barbarino leaves the classroom. Hitting his breaking point, Gabe kicks Woodman out of the classroom and tells him to stop interrupting his class.
Rather than go to his new classroom, Barbarino goes to the Kotter apartment, where he tells Julie about his problems. Julie is a bit more concerned with the fact that she’s having contractions. When she gets out her suitcase and calls for a cab, Barbarino worries that she’s leaving Gabe. When she says she’s going to the hospital, Barbarino worries that his story made her sick.
Meanwhile, Woodman — banned from entering Gabe’s classroom — uses the PA system to let him know that Julie has gone into labor. Gabe rushes from his classroom, accompanied by Horshack, Washington, and Epstein. I kind of doubt Julie is going to be happy to see the Sweathogs at the hospital but whatever. Julie’s stuck with them in her life.
And so ends Part One of this special three-part episode! This episode was a bit uneven. The scene between Gabe Kaplan and Marcia Strassman felt a bit strained, largely due to the fact that the two of them could obviously barely stand to look at each other while delivering their lines. John Travolta was charming as Barbarino but his co-stars were all obviously getting a bit old to still be playing high school students. As always, John Sylvester White made me laugh with his portrayal of Woodman’s growing insanity. The studio audience was very loud as they went out of their way to make sure that anyone watching knew how much they loved John Travolta.
Next week, Julie gives birth!
In today’s music video of the day, Germany’s Exit Eden provides their own witchy take on Journey’s Separate Ways.
Enjoy!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!
This week, Micki and Ryan visit the country and battle a killer scarecrow! Yikes!
Episode 1.11 “Scarecrow”
(Dir by William Fruet, originally aired on February 1st, 1988)
While Jack is off in Europe searching for a cursed antique, Micki and Ryan head into the country. They’ve recently received a letter from someone requesting that they come to a small rural town and collect the scarecrow that was bought from their shop years ago.
Seriously, do people usually buy scarecrows from antique shops? I mean, I always thought that half the fun of having a scarecrow was getting to build it yourself. And even if you didn’t want to build your own scarecrow, I imagine that you would probably go to a country store to buy one as opposed to heading into the city and going to an antique store.
No matter, though. Even if it doesn’t make much sense to buy a scarecrow from an antique store, the scarecrow is undeniably scary. Of course, when Micki and Ryan arrive in the town, the farmer who bought the scarecrow lies and says that someone set it on fire three years ago. However, the viewer knows that the scarecrow not only still exists but that it comes to life at night and kills people with a scythe! Every harvest, the scarecrow beheads three people and, as a result, the owner of the scarecrow has a good crop while everyone else in the town is struggling to make ends meet.
The viewer also knows that the villain of the story is Marge Lonacre (Patricia Phillips), the rather severe-looking owner of the town’s only inn. Even if the episode didn’t show us Marge activating the scarecrow early on, it would be easy to guess that she is the villain because everything about Marge — from the way she dresses to the way she glares at people to the abrupt way that she speaks — screams villainy. Oddly enough, it takes Micki and Ryan forever to figure out that Marge is the villain, even though they’re staying in Marge’s inn and Micki witnesses the scarecrow depositing a dead body on Marge’s front porch. In fact, for some reason, Micki gets into her head that the helpful sheriff (Steve Pernie) is the killer and she even locks him in a closet so that he can’t keep her from running back to the inn. Ryan and Micki are both likable and Micki’s fashion sense is to die for but, without Jack around to guide them, neither of them is a particularly effective investigator.
While searching for the scarecrow, Ryan bonds with the son of one of the scarecrow’s victims, which leads to some nicely-acted moments from John D. LeMay. I mention this because Friday the 13th, much like Nightmare Café, was always at its best when it explored the humanity of its lead characters. For all of the violence that Micki and Ryan have witnessed, they’re still trying to make the world a better and nicer place and it’s hard not to admire that.
This was an effective episode, one of that was full of creepy atmosphere and which featured one truly scary scarecrow. I think even Jason Voorhees would have avoided this country town!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, Amy, T.S. and Joe get involved in a — ugh — hostage situation!
Episode 2.9 “Hostage”
(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on November 28th, 1988)
Fleeing from the police after a botched robbery, two sweaty crooks, Rook (Lawrence King) and Larry (Angelo Rizacos), duck into Don’s Sporting Goods and end up holding 8 people hostage, including Amy and Joe! What a scary situation! These eight Canadians probably just wanted to buy new hockey jerseys and now, they’re being held hostage!
The police, of course, are ineffectual. T.S. tracks down the ex-wife of one of the men but she can’t convince him to come out of the store. The two crooks don’t want to go back to prison so they’ve demanded a lot of money and a plane and they’ve given the Toronto police only two hours to meet their demands. Inside the store, Amy tries to reason with them. Rook knows that things have gone too far and that they need to surrender to the police. But Larry is sweaty and violent and determined to escape with the money.
I groaned a bit when I saw what this episode was going to be about. I absolutely dread sitting through anything that involves hostage negotiation. There’s really not much that can happen in a story like this, other than the hostage takers doing a lot of yelling and the negotiators saying, “You’re going to have to give us more time!” It’s really not much fun to watch people getting guns pointed at their heads while some loser rants and raves about how he’s going to pull the trigger unless he gets what he wants. With the exception of Dog Day Afternoon, hostage taking is usually pretty boring to watch.
Probably the biggest mistake that this episode makes is that it sidelines T.S. Turner for much of the action. The main appeal of T and T is the chance to watch and hear Mr. T take down the bad guys. T.S. spends the majority of this episode just standing around and only he gets to call one person “brother.” Finally, during the final few minutes, T.S. ends up crawling around in the building’s loft so that he can break through the ceiling and take out the hostage takers but, by the time he does, the two criminals have already turned on each other. For once, it falls not to T.S. to capture the main bad guy but for the bad guy’s accomplice to shoot him in the back.
All in all, this was a disappointing episode. Amy failed to talk the criminals into giving themselves up and T.S. failed to capture the criminals by himself. What is Canada even paying these two for?
Seriously, if people are not going to dance in front of a park bench, what is even the point of putting on out there?
Enjoy!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!
This week, Mark and Jonathan work at a hotel …. a hotel of dreams!
Episode 1.12 “Hotel of Dreams”
(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on December 12th, 1984)
Barry Rudd (Brian Kerwin) may be the son of a wealthy hotel owner but he’s far more comfortable living out in the country, wearing denim and flannel, and helping to raise goats. However, one day, Barry is summoned to his father’s hotel. His father even sends a helicopter out to get him. Barry gets on the helicopter but he insists on bringing his goat with him.
At the hotel, Barry’s father (Jacques Aubuchon) explains that he’s gotten married to a woman who is much younger than him and he needs Barry to run the hotel while he’s on his honeymoon. Barry is stuck running the snootiest hotel in California, despite the fact that he doesn’t even own a suit and all he really wants to do is look after his goat. Unfortunately, the hotel has a lot of problems. The manager (played by Dean Dittman) is a mean-spirited snob who takes bribes from the guests. A child (Douglas Emerson) is running wild through the halls of the hotel, all because his father is too busy working to keep an eye on him. Saintly maid Elena (Julie Carmen) does the best job that she can but she’s looked down upon by the guests and the hotel’s manager.
Can Barry solve all of the hotel’s problems and also find time to attend his high school reunion? Will he stay true to himself or will he sell out in an effort to impress people like his former classmate, Allison Rutledge (Judith-Marie Bergan)? It’s not going to be easy and Barry doesn’t even know where to begin. Fortunately, he has some help. The hotel’s two new bellhops are Jonathan Smith and Mark Gordon!
Especially when compared to the previous two episodes, Hotel of Dreams is a rather light-hearted episode. There’s nothing particularly surprising to be found in this episode. Of course, Allison is going to turn out to be a total snob. Of course, Elena is going to help Barry take care of his goat. Of course, Barry and Elena are going to fall in love and end up together, all with the help of Jonathan. And, of course, Mark is going to become a surrogate father figure for the bratty kid. This is a thoroughly pleasant if not particularly memorable episode, one that plays out more like a pilot for a show about the hotel than an episode about an angel trying to make the world a better place. Brian Kerwin and Julie Carmen make for an attractive couple and, as the episode ends, you can’t help but hope that Barry and Elena are going spend the rest of their lives raising goats together.
There is an unfortunate moment in this episode when Jonathan gives Mark a hard time for smoking. When Jonathan tells Mark that he could die if he doesn’t stop smoking, Mark replies that everyone has to die of something. Mark then asks Jonathan what cause his death.
“Lung cancer,” Jonathan replies.
Victor French, who played Mark, would die of lung cancer just five years later. Shortly afterwards, Michael Landon would also die of cancer.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Jennifer Slept Here, which aired on NBC in 1983 and 1984. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
This week’s episode made me cry.
Episode 1.11 “Life With Grandfather”
(Dir by John Bowab, originally aired on April 28th, 1984)
George Elliott’s father, Barney (Milo O’Shea), is coming to visit. He’ll be staying up in the attic, which upsets Jennifer until Barney actually arrives and she discovers that Barney is a lovable eccentric who loves her movies and spends his time trying to invent new toys.
Unfortunately, the rest of the family is not as thrilled to have Barney around as Jennifer is. Barney and George have a strained relationship and Joey keeps making excuses not to spend time with his grandfather. Jennifer is the only one who understands how lonely Barney is but she can’t help him because Barney can’t see her.
Sadly, that changes when one of Barney’s toys explodes in the attic. Suddenly, Barney can see Jennifer and Jennifer can talk to him. That’s because Barney is dead. Jennifer helps Barney come to terms with being dead and she also tells him that he’s not alone because there’s ghosts all over the place. Barney says that he had so much he still wanted to tell his family and Jennifer assures Barney that his family had a lot that they wanted to tell him. It’s a surprisingly poignant scene, one that is wonderfully acted by both Ann Jillian and Milo O’Shea.
The episodes jumps forward a few days. George and Joey are still struggling to come to terms with Barney’s death. George admits that he was never as close to his father as he wishes he had been and that he has a lot regrets about not getting to tell Barney how much he loved him before he died. Joey, for his part, goes up to his bedroom and tells Jennifer that he wants to talk to his grandfather. Joey feels that, since he can talk to Jennifer’s ghost, he should also be able to talk to his grandfather’s ghost. Jennifer gently explains that Barney has moved on and Joey can’t talk to him anymore but he can continue to love him.
I mean …. MY GOD! Though this series is admittedly uneven, I’ve enjoyed the majority of the episodes of Jennifer Slept Here that I’ve watched. But I never thought that this show would bring me to tears. This was such a sweet and poignant episode and I think it’s one to which everyone watching could relate. We all have loved ones who we miss and we wish we could speak to. And sadly, we rarely say everything that we want to say to people while they’re still here. Joey’s desire to speak to his grandfather is an emotion that we’ve all felt. But Barney has moved on and the show deserves a lot of credit for not going for the easy solution and having Barney suddenly return to say goodbye to Joey. Instead, this episode (and Jennifer) emphasized the importance of enjoying the time together that we have and always carrying our love for others in our hearts.
This was a sweet episode and well-acted by the entire cast. As I’ve said, this is an uneven series but this was a truly good episode.