Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.17 “Love Stinks”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

This week, dreams continue to come true in Springwood, Ohio.  Freddy continues to show up in very short host segments because I guess he doesn’t have anything better to do.  And I continue to find ways to pad out my reviews for a show that there’s really not much to be said about.  It happens.  Some shows are interesting and take chances and other shows just recycle the same thing over and over again.  Anyway, let’s get to it….

Episode 1.17 “Love Stinks”

(Dir by John Lafia, originally aired on February 26th, 1989)

Adam (John Washington) is a high school jock who has a chance to join the White Sox and who has a girlfriend named Laura (Tamara Glyn).  When his parents go out of town, Adam throws a house party.  The party goes wrong when he finds himself unable to say the words “I love you,” to Laura.  Laura leaves him and Adam has a one-night stand with Loni (Susanna Savee).  Soon, Adam finds himself drifting in-and-out of a dream state.  He sees Laura chopping him up with meat cleaver.  He sees his parents come home and he notices that his father is missing a finger.  Loni ruins his interview with the baseball scout.  It’s all because Adam can’t say “I love you,” but suddenly, Adam wakes up in bed and hears the party still going on downstairs and realizes it was all a dream.  He runs downstairs and grabs Laura and says, “I love you!”  Except, Laura now looks like Loni.  And when his parents show up and say they brought someone to meet him, it turns out to be Loni except Loni now looks like Laura.

Meanwhile, Adam’s slacker friend Max (Georg Olden) gets a job at Mr. Cheesy Pizza.  He’s working for his hated uncle, Ralph (Jeffery Combs).  When Max’s girlfriend disappears, Max is horrified to discover that she’s become a part of the special sauce that Ralph uses to make the pizza’s so memorable.  Don’t worry, it’s all just a dream.  Except, in the waking world, the pizza oven explodes and kills Ralph.  Max apparently decides to take a lesson from his dream and makes tasty use of Ralph’s remains.

By the admittedly low standards of Freddy’s Nightmares, this episode wasn’t that bad.  Though the first story was incoherent, it still captured the feeling of being scared of commitment.  The second story was predictable but at least it featured Jeffrey Combs doing his sociopathic nerd thing.  This episode held my interest.  That said, almost every episode pretty much has the exact same “It was just a dream” plot twist.  At this point, it’s no longer a shock when someone suddenly opens their eyes and breathes a sigh of relief.  Even Freddy seems kind of bored with it all.

The Films Of 2025: Train Dreams (dir by Clint Bentley)


My house sits near two cemeteries.

To the East, there’s a cemetery that sits near a bus stop.  It’s surrounded by a fence and, judging from the gravestones that I’ve seen, it was last used in 1917.  It was a private cemetery, one that functioned as the final resting place for the members of one of the families who founded my hometown.  To the west, there’s a park that is home to another private cemetery.  It’s also surrounded by a fence.  That fence wasn’t always there but it went up a few years ago because people were vandalizing the tomb stones and breaking the statues that had stood there for over a hundred years.  How sick to do you have to be vandalize a graveyard?

Occasionally, when I’m near either one of the two cemeteries, I’ll take some time to look at the names on the headstones.  The names are of people who I will never know.  I’ll never know what they were like to live with or to eat dinner with.  I’ll never know what hobbies occupied their time.  I’ll never know what books they read.  I’ll never know who they were.  But I will always know that someone cared enough to erect a tombstone to let the world that person had once been alive.  I will always know that, at some point, they were alive and they were a part of society.

I thought about those two cemeteries as I watched Train Dreams.  Based on the award-winning novella by Denis Johnson, Train Dreams stars Joel Edgerton as Robert Grainier.  At the start of the film, the narrator (Will Patton) tells us that Grainier lived for 80 years and he spent most of his life in Idaho.  He never saw the ocean.  He was an orphan who never learned who his parents were, when he was born, or how he came to be placed on a train in the late 19th century.  The film follows Grainier as he goes from dropping out of school to working as a logger to marrying Gladys (Felicity Jones).  He builds a cabin for Gladys to live in while he’s away looking for work.  He and Gladys have a daughter named Kate.

Growing up at a time when the frontier had only recently been tamed and when death was considered to be acceptable risk for the men cutting down trees and laying down railroad tracks, Robert sees his share of disturbing things.  As a child, he comes across as a mountain man who is slowly dying.  Working for the railroad, he watches as one of his co-workers is casually tossed off a bridge.  Later, the elderly and kind-hearted Arn Peebles (William H. Macy) is mortally injured in a random accident.  When loggers die, their boots are hammered into a tree.  Years, later those same trees are cut down and the boots are forgotten.  And yet, for all the danger in Robert’s life, there are the moments that make it all worth it.  Robert always returns home to his cabin and to the embrace of Gladys and the sight of his daughter growing up.  He always returns to his family until he can’t anymore.  As he ages, Robert isolates himself from civilization and becomes semi-legendary in the nearby town.  But, as always, legends are eventually forgotten.

Visually, it’s a hauntingly beautiful film.  The scenery is stunning, even while Robert and his fellow loggers are busy changing it by chopping down trees.  But there’s always a hint of danger hiding behind the beauty.  A forest fire brings an eerie, orange tint to the sky but it also destroys many lives and dreams.  Joel Edgerton gives a strong performance as Robert, proving once again that he’s one of the few actors who can star in a period piece without looking out-of-place.  Edgerton’s performance gives the film the humanity needed to keep it from becoming purely a film about visuals.  As Robert, Edgerton rarely yells or shows much emotion at all.  But his eyes tell us everything that we need to know.

With its stunning visuals, its narration, and its emphasis on nature, Train Dreams owes an obvious debt to Terence Malick.  That said, it’s not quite as thematically deep as Malick’s best films.  Whereas Malick would have been concerned about Robert’s place in both the universe and the afterlife, Train Dreams is more content to focus on Robert’s 80 years in Idaho (and occasionally Spokane).  Whereas Malick often seems to be daring his audience to walk out, Train Dreams is very much about keeping you watching as Robert grows old.  That’s not necessarily a criticism, of course.  It’s just an acknowledgment that Train Dreams is the rarest of all creatures, an arthouse film that’s also a crowd pleaser.  It doesn’t alienate its audience but it does so at the cost of the risks that make Malick’s later films so fascinating, if occasionally frustrating.  That said, Train Dreams does stick with you.  I’ll be thinking about the final 20 minutes for quite some time.

Train Dreams tells the story of a man — one of many — who may have been forgotten by history but who mattered during his 80 years on this Earth.  In the end, Robert Grainier serves as a stand-in for all the people who lived their lives as American rapidly changed from being a frontier to being a superpower.  The world may forget him but the viewer never will.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.2 “Playing God: Part Two”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, the hospital is a depressing place.

Episode 3.2 “Playing God: Part Two”

(Dir by Bruce Paltrow, originally aired on September 26th, 1984)

There was a lot going on in this episode.

Sister Domenica demanded that Sister Theresa be taken off of life support and she threatened to sue the hospital if it didn’t happen.  This led to Dr. Westphall telling another long and depressing story about his dead wife.  I don’t mean to be flippant about anyone’s tragedies but it’s hard not to notice that almost everything seems to lead to Westphall telling a depressing story.  Westphall is one of the most saddest television characters that I’ve ever come across.

The nurses are closer to striking.  A labor negotiator named Richard Clarendon (Herb Edelman) is brought in by the nurses and it’s hard not to notice that he looks a lot like Helen Rosenthal’s ex-husband.  I think I can already guess where this is heading.

A sick child was brought in by a woman (Tammy Grimes) who claimed to be his fairy godmother.  This gave Fiscus an excuse to get a consultation from Kathy Martin, who has abandoned the morgue for psychiatry and who is no longer dressing exclusively in black.

At home, Dr. Craig struggled with impotence.  At the hospital, Dr. Ehrlich gave an awkward lecture about whether or not one can have sex after heart surgery.

The firefighters are still recovering from their burns.

Clancy got an abortion, despite Morrison’s objections.

And yet, all that drama was overshadowed by the fact that the Dr. Peter White — the drug-addicted rapist who nearly killed more than a few patients due to his own incompetence — is once again walking the halls of St. Eligius.  White won his lawsuit.  I’m not really sure that I understand what the basis of his lawsuit was.  St. Eligius could only ask a select number of residents to return and, even if you overlook the fact that White was accused of rape, it’s not as if Dr. White was ever an especially competent doctor.  It would seem that just his struggle with drug addiction would be enough to justify not asking him to return.  And yet, somehow, Dr. Peter White is once again a resident at St. Eligius.  (The ruling was probably handed down by a Carter judge.)

“You just can’t admit that you were wrong about me!” White snaps at Westphall.

Westphall replies that White is a terrible human being and not worthy of being a doctor and that he will not be allowed to work with any patients at the hospital.  And, for once, I wanted to cheer Dr. Westphall.  He may be depressing but he understands exactly who and what Peter White is.

Whatever the future may hold for the hospital, I have a feeling that it’s not going to be happy.  Two episodes in and the third season has already settled into a pit of melancholy.  That said, melancholy is perhaps the right mood for a medical show.  When it comes to hospitals, there aren’t many happy endings.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 4.23 “Heaven Nose, Mr. Smith”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week …. oh, where to begin?

Episode 4.23 “Heaven Nose, Mr. Smith”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on March 30th, 1988)

This episode was bad.

How bad?

Let me count the ways.

  1. Jonathan is driving the car, for once.  He and Mark are going to get some time off.  Suddenly, a very shrill alarm goes off.  Jonathan says that he has to go up to Heaven to meet with the never-before mentioned Sycopomp, who is in charge of handing out angel assignments.  Jonathan vanishes, leaving the car without a driver.  Mark nearly crashes before he gets control of the wheel.
  2. How have we gone for four seasons without the alarm going off earlier?
  3. Since when has Jonathan gotten assignments from anyone other than The Boss?
  4. Does Jonathan not realize Mark could have been killed as a result of him suddenly vanishing?
  5. The Sycopomp is played by Bob Hope.  Yes, the comedian Bob Hope.  Bob Hope was 85 when he appeared in this episode and, not surprisingly, he doesn’t do much.  In fact, he does so little that you have to wonder why it was necessary to have the character at all.
  6. The Sycopomp explains that the Boss has computerized Heaven — “Modern technology,” he says, with a shrug.  Why would the Boss do that since the Boss is God and God knows everything and can do anything?
  7. The computers have malfunctioned.  How could a computer built by God malfunction?
  8. As a result of the computer malfunction, an angel named Max (Bill Macy) has been assigned to help fix the marriage of Stanley (John Pleshette) and Constance (Murphy Cross).  The problem is that Max is Stanley’s deceased father and he’s always disliked Constance so, instead of helping Stanley and Constance, he’s instead trying to get Stanley to leave Constance for his childhood girlfriend, Nel (Anna Stuart).
  9. What?  Okay, Jonathan got mad and yelled at the Boss a few episodes ago and he was immediately stripped of his powers.  Yet somehow, Max is able to do a lot worse without any sort of punishment.
  10. Jonathan and Mark are sent to stop Max.  They meet Stanley and Constance.  While Constance’s main flaw is that she has a terrible hair style, Stanley is a total wimp who has never finished anything in his life.  Stanley is so unlikable that it’s hard not to feel that Constance would be better off without him.
  11. Jonathan and Max both reveal themselves to be angels to Stanley.  Yeah, Jonathan has revealed himself to be an angel in the past but it still feels like lazy writing.
  12. From out of nowhere, wimpy, middle-aged Stanley is revealed to be a fast runner.
  13. Jonathan and Max bully Stanley into entering a marathon.
  14. Stanley nearly dies during the marathon but makes it to the end.  He comes in last place but Constance doesn’t care.  What matters is that he finished something!  And it looks like the marriage has been saved but Stanley is so sweaty and out-of-breath that one still expects him to drop dead right there.
  15. Sara (Patti Karr), Max’s wife, is sent down as an angel as well.  She doesn’t accomplish anything but she’s sent down nonetheless.
  16. Why would someone as self-centered as Max be made an angel in the first place?
  17. With the assignment completed, everyone leaves.  Constance and Stanley are back together!  Except, earlier, we were told that Constance and Stanley’s marriage was in trouble because Constance wanted children and Stanley didn’t.  That storyline is never resolved.  In fact, it’s just kind of dropped.
  18. Other than Jonathan and Mark, there are no likable people in this episode.  This episode tires to mix comedy and drama and it just doesn’t work.

This just wasn’t a good episode.  The story just feels unfinished.

Next week, season 4 comes to a close!

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.13 “My Brother’s Killer”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

Episode 1.13 “My Brother’s Killer”

(Dir by Stuart Rosenberg, originally aired on January 6th, 1958)

Anne (Barbara Barrie) goes to the police because her boyfriend, Victor Bernard (Bernard Kates), has been acting strangely and refuses to let her into his apartment.  At first, the police point out that there’s nothing they can do about this but then Casey, in what can only be described as a miraculous feat of deductive reasoning, guesses that Victor Bernard’s last name might have originally been Bernardino and he might be the brother of wanted robber, Frank Bernardino.

A look at a picture of Victor reveals that he does look a lot like Frank.  However, as Casey discovers when she goes over to Victor’s apartment, Frank is dead.  But his partner, Hal Bishop (Sy Travers), is still alive.  Hal promptly takes Casey and Victor hostage and heads for the Canadian border.

Once you accept that Casey’s miracle hunch (and, seriously, it takes some effort), this is an intense episode.  I’m not really a fan of shows in which people are held hostage — the confined narrative tends to get tedious pretty quickly — but this episode featured a typically good performance from Beverly Garland and an absolutely terrifying one from Sy Travers.  It also features what seems like a surprising amount of violence for a 1950s television show.  Imagine gathering the family in front of the television in 1958 and being immediately confronted by Sy Travers as Hal Bishop pointing a gun at an innocent man’s head and pulling the trigger.  A lot of people get shot over the course of this episode, including Hal Bishop himself.  Casey survives but there are no smiles or celebrations.  There’s just the weary look of someone who has been confronted with the worst that humanity has to offer.

MAN WITH A CAMERA (TV Series) – starring Charles Bronson – S1, E8: Blind Spot 


First, I want to say Happy Thanksgiving to all of you who read this review! I’m so thankful for The Shattered Lens and the opportunity to share my love of movies, TV and pop culture with all of you! Now on with the show…

Originally airing on December 5th, 1958, “Blind Spot” opens with free-lance photographer, Mike Kovac (Charles Bronson), receiving a phone call from his best friend Terry Ross (Norman Alden), who is in Lisbon, Portugal. A very nervous Terry tells Kovac that he will be airmailing him some very important negatives for something “dynamite” that he’s working on. While they’re on the phone, an imposing man with a wide-brimmed, boater hat steps into Terry’s room and shoots him dead. Hearing the shots, Kovac is on the next plane to Lisbon to talk to the police and try to find out what happened. Apparently this is big news as the Lisbon paper even reports that Kovac is on his way. The killer, who we soon learn is named Al Alviella (Mario Alcalde), is waiting on Kovac in front of the police station and through a variety of events, is able to convince him that he was Terry’s friend and can help him in his investigation. It seems the police believe that Terry was working for an underworld espionage organization and that he got killed for it. Kovac doesn’t believe there’s any possibility that his old wartime photographer buddy could be involved in anything dirty. But with the killer Al’s false stories and leads, as well as Kovac’s discovery of Terry’s wife Renee (Chana Eden), when he didn’t even know Terry was married, Kovac begins to question how well he really knew his old friend. When the truth finally all comes to light, will Kovac be able to get out of Lisbon alive?!

After the disappointing melodrama of the previous episode, MAN WITH A CAMERA gets back on track with “Blind Spot.” First, we get a somewhat intriguing crime storyline in this episode. While we know from the beginning that Kovac’s friend was murdered and who the killer is, the story still has a few surprises up its sleeve. The final reveal and fight scenes are very well handled, with Bronson continuing to prove that no one can throw a punch quite like him. Second, the episode has an appealing theme of “friendship forged by fire,” in this case by serving together in World War II. With the circumstantial evidence mounting, Kovac begins to doubt his old friend, and it’s here that the new wife steps in and says “Terry said you were his friend… his best friend!” Kovac knows in his heart that his friend just couldn’t have done these things, no matter how bad it looks, and he keeps pushing to find out the truth. I want to have friends like that! 

Finally, “Blind Spot” contains some solid performances and an interesting guest appearance. Bronson himself is quite emotional and demonstrative in this episode. He yells at the police when they tell him they believe his old buddy is dirty. He yells at the shadowy underworld “man” who tells him that his buddy was on his payroll, and then proceeds to start punching henchmen until they get the upper hand on him. And I’ve already mentioned the coolness of the final fight scenes where he clearly does his own stunts! I also found Mario Alcalde to be charismatic as the killer Al Alviella. There’s something about him, maybe it was his voice, that kind of reminds me of Andy Garcia, an actor I really like. Alcalde appeared on most of the good TV shows of the late 50’s and 60’s, but unfortunately died at the young age of 44 in 1971. One last thing about the casting that I found interesting involves character actor Frank DeKova, who has one scene here as a shadowy, Lisbon underworld figure credited only as “The Man.” DeKova would play one scene as a shadowy underworld figure known only as “The Man” 14 years later in Bronson’s action classic THE MECHANIC! 

“Blind Spot” isn’t a perfect episode, as it does have a fairly slow build up after its entertaining opening scene. However, the excitement of the ending scenes, the more interesting storyline, and the good performances from its main players are more than enough to get a recommendation from me. 

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.6 “The Unkindest Cut”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Yay!  Training camp is over!

Episode 2.6 “The Unkindest Cut”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on September 29th, 1986)

When arrogant quarterback Johnny Valentine refuses to enter drug rehab, Diana reacts by having him traded to Buffalo.  Johnny may be a superstar but he won’t be playing for the Bulls.  That means that Yinessa, the player who nearly kicked off the team twice, is now the starting quarterback.  Yinessa also makes up with his girlfriend (Katherine Kelly Lang) so I guess he’s having a good week.

Bubba has to lose five pounds to retain his starting position.  When he goes in to be weighed, it appears that he’s only lost four pounds.  Bubba quickly takes off his gold watch and he makes weight!  Good for Bubba, I guess.

Finally, Rick Lampert (Marcus Allen) shows up at training camp is given a number 32 jersey by T.D. Parker (O.J. Simpson).  Lampert’s like, This is your number.  Parker replies that the number now belongs to Lampert.  Awwww!  In the role of T.D. Parker, O.J. Simpson has a way of slashing his way to the heart of the matter,

Training camp finally ended with this episode and I’m glad about that because those training camp episodes were getting really dull.  I have to be honest, though.  We’re halfway through the second season and I still don’t feel like I know any of these characters.  Donald Gibb occasionally makes me laugh as Dr. Death.  And, as T.D. Parker, OJ Simpson seems like a really nice guy.  Otherwise, though, this show feels oddly hollow.  Of course, that may be because I’m watching the syndicated version, which apparently edited out a lot of nudity and bad behavior on the part of the players.

Oh well.  Let’s see how the team does!  This episode ends with Diana saying she wants to win a championship.  Does Yinessa have it in him to lead the team with victory?  With OJ Simpson as his coach, he better!

Brad reviews BREAKING IN (1989), starring Burt Reynolds!


BREAKING IN (1989) opens with veteran safecracker Ernie Mullins (Burt Reynolds) pulling a job at a rich guy’s house, only to be surprised when a young, amateurish thief named Mike (Casey Siemaszko) turns up at the same place to raid the fridge. Immediately taking a liking to the kid, Ernie decides to offer Mike a chance to learn his trade. Thus begins a partnership, and odd-couple friendship, where the two men pull a series of jobs together, with Ernie passing on his knowledge to his young protege who seems to be enjoying the sudden influx of cash into this life. Unfortunately, the generation gap causes some problems as Mike doesn’t necessarily take heed to Ernie’s advice to never being too greedy or flashy. Soon, Mike is renting high rise apartments and buying fancy cars with cash. When they pull a big job on the 4th of July, will Mike’s less than frugal ways drag them both down?!

Written by the excellent, independent writer and director John Sayles (MATEWAN, EIGHT MEN OUT) and directed by Scottish director Bill Forsyth (LOCAL HERO), BREAKING IN is a reminder of just how great Burt Reynolds is in the right role. In his 50’s at the time this was filmed, Reynolds gives a relaxed, lived-in, character performance that comes across as effortlessly cool, and he does it without having to rely on his trademark charm and big grin. The late 80’s were a time when Burt was no longer a box office superstar, and BREAKING IN seems to be an unjustly forgotten entry in his hugely successful career. After this, Burt would find TV success on EVENING SHADE, and he’d be nominated for an Oscar for his role in BOOGIE NIGHTS (1997), but his Ernie Mullins stands out to me as one of his last great film roles. Casey Siemaszko is good as Mike, but this is Reynolds’ show and he’s overshadowed even in a solid performance. As far as the other supporting performances, Sheila Kelley stood out to me as a sharp-tongued prostitute who Siemaszko falls in lust with. The poem she shares about a man’s “balls” is a highlight of the film as far as I’m concerned, and further illustrates the quality of Sayles’ screenplay!

I like the way that BREAKING IN feels low-key, even as the characters engage in their various criminal heists. This can be credited to director Bill Forsyth who turns what could have been a standard master / apprentice crime film into something that feels somewhat realistic. The pacing is slow as Reynolds passes on his knowledge, and for some people it may be too slow, but that’s one of the things I really liked about the movie. The two men really get to know each other. That way, when they have disagreements and blow ups a couple of times, they’re still able to respect each other and patch things up. That’s how things are in the real world, as opposed to most movies where a simple disagreement will almost certainly lead to ridiculous consequences. BREAKING IN respects its characters in a way that’s unique to most crime films. 

At the end of the day, BREAKING IN is a gem that is at its best as a lighthearted character study of a professional thief whose time is passing him by. Burt Reynolds rarely got to play roles this subtle, and I think he made the most of the opportunity. As a big fan of Reynolds, I highly recommend this one.