One tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond, the one and only Christopher Lee plays a German military officer who makes a fatal deal with a sorcerer.
This episode was Christopher Lee’s American television debut. It originally aired on May 23rd, 1961.
Tag Archives: review
A Bonus Horrorthon Blast From The Past: The Tell Tale Heart (dir by Ted Parmlee)
This short, animated film is from 1953 and it features James Mason reading a story from America’s first master of suspense, Edgar Allan Poe!
Here, for your listening and visual enjoyment, is The Tell Tale Heart! Along with featuring the voice of James Mason, the film was directed by Ted Parmlee. It was the first animated film to ever be given an X rating by the British Film Board of Censors.
For Your Halloween Eve Viewing Pleasure: Swing You Sinners
The much-missed Gary Loggins loved Halloween and he loved the old, frequently subversive cartoons from the 1930s. He was a particular fan of the Fleischer Brothers so it only seems right that today, on Halloween, we should share one of those cartoons. Here is 1930’s Swing You Sinners.
In this bizarre cartoon, a dog named Bimbo attempts to steal a chicken. After the police chase him into a cemetery, Bimbo is confronted by ghosts, demons, and apparently death. Shockingly, there is no escape offered in this film. Abandon all hope!
I guess chicken theft was a really huge problem in 1930.
Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.3 “Two Grapes On The Vine/Aunt Sylvia/Deductible Divorce”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
This week, The Love Boat hosts a special event!
Episode 5.3 “Two Grapes On The Vine/Aunt Sylvia/Deductible Divorce”
(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on October 17th, 1981)
This week, the Love Boat is hosting a wine tasting competition!
Basically, the contestants sit in the ballroom. They take a sip of wine. They then write down what type of wine they think they just tasted. All of the members of the crew and the majority of the passengers watch them. Seriously, it looks like the most boring thing ever. I mean, I get why the competitors are into it. The winner gets a lot of money. But why would you want to watch people drink? I mean, if you’re crazy into wine, it seems like you’d want to drink it yourself. What fun is there in watching other people drink something? I’ll just say that, if I was on a cruise, I would want to do other things. I would want lay out by the pool or look at the ocean or maybe solve a murder. What I would not want to do would be to spend hours watching other people drink and then spit.
Also, I have to wonder about the wisdom of hosting a wine tasting competition on a ship that’s captained by a recovering alcoholic. Did the show forget this key part of the captain’s character? Merrill Stubing is a recovering alcoholic and he lives his life with the rigorous discipline of someone who is trying to avoid falling back into old habits. It would seem like Captain Stubing would at least mention his alcoholic past in this episode, especially after Vicki says that she wishes she could take part in the contest. Wouldn’t this be a good time for Stubing to explain that an addictive personality can be hereditary?
I know, I know. I’m overthinking. It’s just because I found this episode to be remarkably dull. I mean, I love The Love Boat but this episode was just boring. The whole wine tasting thing just put me to sleep.
It didn’t help that the three stories weren’t particularly interesting.
Robert Guillaume and Leslie Uggams played the two finalists in the wine tasting competition. They each lied to the other about why they needed the money. Then they fell in love and they each threw the competition so the other could win the money. But since they both got the last wine wrong, no one won and no money was awarded. Wow, wine tasting is a harsh sport!
Tanya Tucker and Michael Goodwin played a married couple who got divorced every year so that they could get a tax break. This time, they sailed to Mexico for a quickie divorce. Tucker’s ex-boyfriend, Robert Walden, was on the cruise and Tucker was tempted to stay divorced. However, she and Goodwin eventually decided to get married a sixth time and to never get divorced again. I liked this story solely because it was about screwing over the IRS.
Finally, Betty White wanted to marry Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. but he instead fell for Betty White’s friend, Carol Channing. No worries though! Fairbanks gave Betty White a job so that she would no longer have to marry for money.
It was all pretty boring. As I said, I love this show but this episode tasted as flat as a French wine from 1178.
Bonus Song of the Day: Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes
Thanks to the one and only John Carpenter, the version of this sweet little song that The Chordettes recorded in the 1950s will be forever associated with the Night He Came Home. Sadly, none of the Chordettes are with us anymore and I haven’t been able to find any interviews about how they felt about their song of teenage love being used in Halloween.
I’d like to think they would have appreciated it. Michael Myers may not have had hair like Liberace but he did have a mask that looked a lot like William Shatner.
A Bonus Horrorthon Blast From The Past: Vincent (dir by Tim Burton)
Vincent Price was born, at the start of the 20th Century, in St. Louis, Missouri. When he first began his film career in the 1930s, he was promoted as a leading man and he was even tested for the role of Ashley Wilkes in Gone With The Wind. (Imagine that!) However, Price would find his greatest fame as a horror icon.
Among the fans of Price’s horror films was a young animator named Tim Burton. In 1982, Price and Burton would work together for the first time, with Price providing the narration for a short, stop motion film that Burton had written and directed. Called Vincent, the film was about a seven year-old boy named Vincent who wanted to be — can you guess? — Vincent Price! The six-minute film follows Vincent as he gets involved in all sorts of macabre activities. Of course, as Vincent’s mom points out, Vincent isn’t actually a monster or mad scientist. He’s just a creative child with an overactive imagination. (To say the short feels autobiographical on Burton’s part would be an understatement.) The animation is outstanding and full of wit but it really is Vincent Price’s wonderful narration that makes this short film a classic.
Both Price and Burton would later call making this film one of the most creatively rewarding collaborations of their respective careers.
On Halloween Eve, enjoy Vincent!
Horror on the Lens: How To Make A Monster (dir by Herbert L. Strock)
You’ve seen I Was A Teenage Werewolf….
You’ve watched I Was A Teenage Frankenstein….
Now, it’s time to watch How To Make A Monster!
Released in 1958, How To Make A Monster is a clever little horror satire from American International Pictures in which the stars of Teenage Werewolf and Teenage Frankenstein are hypnotized into believing that they actually are the monsters that they played! The main culprit is a movie makeup artist (Robert H. Harris) who has been deemed obsolete by the new bosses at AIP.
Be sure to watch for the finale, which features cameo appearances from several other AIP monsters! And read my full review of the film by clicking here!
Horror Song Of The Day: Dawn of the Dead Main Theme by Goblin
Dawn of the Dead (1978, dir by George Romero, DP: Michael Gornick)
Dario Argento not only produced and edited the European cut for 1978’s Dawn of the Dead, he also introduced George Romero to Goblin. The Italian band, famous for their horror movie soundtracks, provided the classic score to Dawn of the Dead.
(Admittedly, the score is is used far more prominently in Argento’s cut of the film than in Romero’s.)
For today’s horror song of the day, here is Goblin’s Main Theme From Dawn of the Dead.
October Positivity: Break Every Chain (dir by Tim Searfoss)
The 2021 film, Break Every Chain, tells the story of a cop with a problem.
Struggling with the memories of his own troubled childhood and also with the responsibilities of having a family of his own, Jonathan Hickory (Ignacyo Matynia) throws himself into his work as a member of the police force. He’s considered to be a good cop, one who is given important assignment and who can be trusted not to abuse his authority. At one point, when it appears that a drunk man is pointing a rifle at him, Jonathan is smart to realize that opening fire on the man is not the way to deal with him. Jonathan, in many ways, seems like a throwback to the days before the American police force became the militarized behemoth that it is today.
Jonathan is promoted to riding a motorcycle and it must be said that the motorcycle that he receives is pretty badass. Jonathan investigates accidents. He gives speeches about the important of not driving drunk. To the world, he’s the ideal cop. But, secretly, Jonathan is falling apart. Haunted by the things that he’s seen as a member of law enforcement, Jonathan has turned to drinking and has been neglecting his family. Soon, Jonathan is full-blown alcoholic and it’s only a matter of time before his drinking catches up to him.
Break Every Chain is a pretty simple film but it’s effective. Matynia gives a good performance as Jonathan and the film doesn’t try to force some sort of cure-all solution on the audience. Jonathan does get help for his problems and he does turn to his church for support. And, yes, it’s not all surprising when it turns out that Jonathan’s pastor is played by Dean Cain. However, the film itself is not particularly preachy, at least not by the standards of most faith-based films. It suggests that, for Jonathan, devoting himself to religion gives him another way to deal with life that doesn’t involve getting drunk and neglecting his family. The movie isn’t incorrect about that. Regardless of whether one agrees with Jonathan’s religious beliefs or not, he is correct to believe that the human mind needs something else to obsess on beyond its addictions.
I should admit that films about addiction, especially alcoholism, always tend to effect me more than other social problem films. My family tree has its share of drinkers, some of whom could handle their alcohol better than other. I know firsthand the trauma that can come from seeing a family member struggle with their addictions. One reason why I don’t drink is because I know that I have certain compulsive tendencies. I tend to channel those tendencies into watching and writing about movies and, of course, making lists. The way some people are about having that glass of wine before bed, that’s the way I am about making sure that my To-Do List for the following day has been written out and it’s ready to go. Some people are addicted to drugs. Some people are addicted to booze. I’m addicted to making out lengthy To-Do Lists. That said, there’s no greater feeling than crossing something off of your To Do List. For instance, I just crossed reviewing this film off of my list and now, I’m feeling great!
Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.16 “Zargtha”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
This week, it’s werewolf time!
Episode 2.16 “Zargtha”
(Dir by Rick Jacobson, originally aired on April 5th, 1997)
The discovery of a murdered teenage runaway on the beach leads to Mitch investigating a series of killings involving homeless teens. The police think that the murders must be the result of a wild animal, a wolf of some sort. Daimont Teague shows up to tell Mitch that he thinks the killer is a Zargtha, a type of Eastern European werewolf that has found its way to California.
Mitch declares that he’s seen a lot of things over the past few months but there’s no way that he’s going to buy into the idea of a werewolf from Eastern Europe.
Okay, let’s consider this. Over the past few months, Mitch has
- encountered numerous sea monsters,
- been sucked into the past and hunted by an axe-wielding frontierman
- gone to the future and been hunted by cannibal mutants
- watched multiple animals explode after getting exposed to space dust
- watched two 900 year-old Vikings come back to life and pick up their blood feud right where they left off,
- discovered that the world is secretly controlled by the Knights Templar and,
- fought an actual vampire!
That’s just some of what Mitch has seen since the start of the second season of Baywatch Nights. And yet, after all that, a werewolf is just too out there!? I know that Mitch is supposed to be a skeptic and I respect that. I’m a skeptic myself. But there’s a point where skepticism becomes stupidity. I may not believe in vampires but that’s going to quickly change if I ever meet one.
After learning that there’s a group of homeless teenagers living in abandoned building, Mitch and the head of the local shelter, Cindy (Pamela Bach-Hasselhoff), try to find and warn them before the killer reaches them. Complicating this matter is that a recent earthquake is threatening to make the building come crashing down and also, the killer is already in the building. And yes, the killer is a werewolf from Eastern Europe.
This was actually a pretty good episode. Though the werewolf makeup wasn’t that great, the creature’s ferocious growls and the relentless way that it would attack still made it far more effective than the usual Baywatch Nights monster. As well, the abandoned building turned out to be a wonderfully atmospheric and creepy location. For once, all the Dutch angles felt appropriate. This episode played out like a nightmare and I imagine, back in 1997, it was probably quite scary to watch with the lights out and maybe a storm raging outside.
Pamela Bach-Hasselhoff was married to David Hasselhoff when this episode was filmed. That may explain why Ryan is barely in this episode and, for the first time in a long time, there’s no scenes of Ryan and Mitch flirting. Instead, Mitch spends this episode protecting Cindy and the kids. That’s kind of sweet. Good for the Hoff!
Through the Shattered Lens 