Tag Archives: review

TV Review: Bates Motel 2.6 “Plunge”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Bates Motel The Plunge

Now, I know what you’re saying.

“Gee, Lisa — late much?”

Well, yes, this review of the latest episode of Bates Motel is rather late and for that I apologize.  I have spent this week dealing with the world’s worst cold.  Seriously, it has been pure misery!  However, as I sit here rewatching “Plunge” and working on my review, I think that I may finally be on the road to recovery.

In short, I think I’m finally well enough to take the plunge and review this week’s episode!

This episode was all about people taking “the plunge,” both figuratively and literally.

For instance, Emma — after being goaded by both her new pot-dealing boyfriend and Norman’s latest unlikely girlfriend, Cody — removed her oxygen tank and took a plunge into freezing water and nearly died as a result.  Fortunately, Norman Bates was on hand to pull her out of the water and save her life.  On any other show, this would lead to the rebirth of Norman and Emma’s romance but, since this is Bates Motel, Norman ends up going so overboard in his anger towards Cody and Emma’s boyfriend (who I know has a name but I can never remember it) that he quickly goes from being a hero to being the guy who freaks everyone out.

(On a personal note, I have to admit that this whole sequence freaked me out because I don’t swim and, as a result, I very much found myself identifying with poor Emma.)

Norma, meanwhile, takes a plunge into municipal politics.  With the encouragement of her new friend Christine (who I don’t trust) and Christine’s brother George, Norma lobbies to be appointed to the city council.  The Mayor — whose name is Rob — agrees while making it clear that he’s mostly appointing Norma because of who she knows (i.e. Nick Ford).

To a certain extent, you have to wonder just how naïve Norma is.  At the start of this episode, Norma confronted Nick and told him that she didn’t want to work with him anymore.  Nick, more or less, told her that she didn’t have much choice in the matter.  Now, she’s been appointed to the city council and you have to wonder if she realizes just how much of a pawn she has actually become.

Speaking of being a pawn, Dylan has taken the plunge of moving in with Jodi Ford Wilson (Kathleen Robertson), Nick’s daughter and the head of one of the two drug cartels that are currently at war.  Is White Pine Bay really big enough for two drug cartels?  The drug war, to be honest, feels like it belongs in a totally different show.  But, I like Max Thieriot so I can’t complain too much.

Sheriff Romero, who is still living at the Bates Motel, took the plunge of informing Norma that, from his motel room, he has a view of her whenever she undresses in her bedroom.  The awkward flirting between Norma and Romero has been one of the highlights of the second season.

Finally, Norman took the plunge of trying to get his driver’s license.  However, Cody told Emma that Norman suffers from blackouts and Emma responded by calling Norma and telling her (at the exact moment that Norma is watching Norman taking his test).  Norma responds by running over to the car and telling Norman’s driving instructor.  The end result: Norman can’t give his driver’s license and now has another reason to both resent and be dependent upon Norma.

Random Observations:

  • Vera Farmiga kicks ass.  I know that’s become a running theme as far as my Bates Motel reviews are concerned but seriously, she really does.  This week’s Vera Farmiga highlight was the scene where she literally ran down a hill to jump onto Cody’s car.
  • Speaking of kicking ass, just how scary is Michael O’Neill in the role of Nick Ford?  That man can make a simple hello sound like a threat.
  • “Who’s Rob?”  That’s okay, Norma.  I’m not always sure who my mayor is either.
  • I found myself wondering which three senators George helped to get elected.
  • “There are reasons he should not drink.  Medical reasons.  And that’s all I’m going to say.”
  • Norman’s flashbacks while hiding in the closet were disturbingly effective.
  • Wouldn’t it be neat if it turned out the Mayor was related to Nick Ford as well and his name was Rob Ford?
  • If I was Norman’s mom, I probably wouldn’t like Cody either.  Seriously, mother’s worse nightmare that one is.  That said, I relate to the character.  I went through my Cody phase when I was younger.  I think everyone has.
  • George gets extra cool points for liking The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.
  • Bates Motel has been renewed for a third season!  So, we’ve got at least one more year of White Pine Bay melodrama to look forward to.

 

 

Fear The Creature From The Haunted Sea

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Creature_from_the_Haunted_Sea

I have this fear that someday I’ll meet Roger Corman and before I can compliment him for directing and producing so many entertaining films or praise him for helping so many women break into the film industry or talk about the subversive feminism of his 70s exploitation films, Corman will ask me something like, “So, what did you think of Creature From The Haunted Sea?”

Because, seriously…

Creature From The Haunted Sea, which the Late Night Movie crew and I watched after Space Raiders, was originally released in 1961.  It tells the story of a mobster named Renzo (Anthony Carbone) who flees Cuba with a bunch of stolen gold.  Renzo finds himself stranded on a boat with a group of revolutionaries, a guy who communicates by making animal noises, and a CIA agent (played by future Oscar-winning screenwriter, Robert Towne).  Anyway, Renzo plans to double-cross everyone by exploiting their fear of the legendary creature of the haunted sea.  However, the joke is on Renzo because it turns out that the creature is real.

In the past, I have defended Roger Corman as a director and I imagine that I’ll do so again in the future.  However, Creature From The Haunted Sea has got to be one of the most boring films that I have ever seen, a film that starts as a comedy and then tries to turn into a horror film but never really succeeds in being funny or scary.  So little happens in the film that it ends up becoming oddly fascinating.

That said, if you’re a fan of Roger Corman’s or a student of B-cinema, you should make time to watch Creature From The Haunted Sea.  While the film might not be exactly watchable, the story behind it is vintage Corman.  Reportedly, Creature From The Haunted Sea was produced because Corman had just finished directing The Last Woman On Earth in Puerto Rico and had some film left over.  So, he decided why not make another movie?  Regardless of the film’s final quality, it’s hard not to respect Roger’s refusal to allow any opportunity to pass by.

Beyond that, I would recommend Creature From The Haunted Sea for two reasons.  Number one, the opening credits feature some cute cartoons and you know I can’t resist a cute cartoon.  Finally, the creature itself simply has to be seen to be believed.  How can you not be somewhat charmed by a monster that appears to be made out of sea weed and ping-pong balls?

If you dare, check out Creature From The Haunted Sea below.

 

A Quickie In Space: Space Raiders (dir by Howard R. Cohen)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Space Raiders

Last Saturday was Roger Corman’s 88th birthday and what better way to celebrate than to watch one of the many low-budget but undeniably entertaining films that the great man has produced?

That’s just what I did on Saturday with my Late Night Movie friends.  The movie we watched was an obscure 1983 science fiction film called Space Raiders.  Now, technically, this film was directed by Howard Cohen but, from the first frame, it was obviously a Roger Corman film.  It was also a lot of fun.

Space Raiders takes place in the distant future, at a time when intergalactic corporations have colonized planets with sullen children and space criminals spend their spare time hanging out in dank space stations.  From the minute the film opens with a scene of robots doing menial labor in a factory while a the factory foreman assures the human workers that the next company picnic will take place on a planet where it doesn’t rain, there’s little doubt that the main message of Space Raiders is that the future sucks.

10 year-old Peter (David Mendelhall) lives on the planet of Proycon III (which, if nothing else, is a great name for a planet).  Neglected by his wealthy parents and apparently being the only child on Proycon III, Peter spends his spare time sneaking into robot-filled factories and capturing space bugs.  That’s what Peter is doing when he witnesses a daring raid by a group of — wait for it — space raiders!  Led by the surly but kind-hearted Hawk (Vince Edwards), the raiders steal a spaceship from the factory.  What they don’t realize is that Peter (and the bug that he had just captured seconds before the raid) has stowed away on the ship.

At first, Hawk is not enthusiastic about Peter being on the ship and Peter just wants to get home.  However, as the space raiders deal with both intergalactic cops and alien gangsters, Hawk and the kid start to bond and Peter gets to know the rest of the crew.

Now, to be honest, the majority of Hawk’s crew were pretty interchangeable but my friends and I quickly decided that our favorite was the one that we named Capt. Forehead (played by Thom Christopher).  Capt. Forehead was an alien who had psychic powers and who carried himself with the wounded dignity of a head waiter having a bad night.  It was hard not to like him.

Captain Forehead

Anyway, Peter’s parents want their son back and, since they work for an evil corporation, they have no problem hiring evil mercenaries to get their son back.  It all leads to a lot of people shooting lasers at each other and exploding spaceships.

Now, honestly, we can get all technical and picky about whether or not the plot of Space Raiders made any sense or whether or not any of the actors gave good performances.  We can even talk about the logic of the scene where Peter –upon realizing that Hawk is on a different spaceship than him — responds by attempting to yell, “HAWK!” across the far reaches of space.

But you know what?

That’s missing the point.

In the way that only a low-budget science fiction film produced by Roger Corman can be, Space Raiders was a lot of fun.  The movie moved quickly, the aliens were fun to look at, and the special effects were charmingly cheap.  Flaws and all, Space Raiders had more humanity than Man of Steel, more humor than Gravity, and it was a lot shorter than Avatar.

Watch it below and see for yourself.

 

TV Review: Bates Motel 2.5 “The Escape Artist”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

 

Bates Motel The Escape Artist

After I posted my extremely laudatory review of last week’s episode of Bates Motel, I received a very interesting comment on Facebook from the veteran horror director and screenwriter Alan Ormsby.  (Among Ormsby’s screenplays: the excellent Deathdream and  Deranged, a film inspired by Ed Gein who, as any Psycho fan knows, also inspired Robert Bloch to first create Norman Bates.) In his comment, Ormsby pointed out something that I had failed to take into consideration.  Whereas Bates Motel presents Norman as suffering from a split personality as a teenager, Psycho established that Norman didn’t “become” Norma until, after years of abuse, he snapped and murdered his mother.  Norman became his mother because he didn’t want to face the reality of his crime.

That’s quite a contrast to the story that is currently being told on Bates Motel.  Whereas Mrs. Bates was the villain of Psycho, she’s become the protagonist of Bates Motel. Whereas the film’s Mrs. Bates was a demonic force who, even after her death, continued to possess her son, the show’s Norma Bates is often times portrayed as just trying to protect both her son from an increasingly amoral world and the world from her obviously disturbed son.

Now, I know that a lot of people are going to argue that Bates Motel is just a TV show and that it’s best not to give it too much thought and they’ll probably start tossing around words like “canon” and “fanfic.”  They’ll say, “Just relax and don’t worry about it.”

But what fun is that?

So, how to explain the difference between the way Norman and his mother are portrayed on TV and in the film?  I’ve come up with a few possible explanations.

1) The doctor at the end of Psycho could have misdiagnosed what happened with Norman and his mother.  As played by Simon Oakland, the doctor was awfully glib and seemed to come from the overdramatic Dr. Phil school of psychology.  After the shocking discoveries at the Bates Motel, everyone needed an explanation and the doctor was happy to provide one as long as he got paid upfront.

2) Bates Motel could be taking place in a parallel universe, one that plays out right next to the Psycho universe, with certain elements occasionally crossing over.  Maybe, when Freddie Highmore’s Norman finally gets around to looking through the peephole behind the painting, he’ll find Anthony Perkins staring back at him.

3) Maybe the Norman Bates of Bates Motel is not actually the Norman Bates of Psycho.  Maybe the TV show will end with Norman and his wife Emma staring down at their newborn son, Norman, Jr.

4) Or maybe Norma is destined to be murdered by her son and that son is destined to take on her identity, run the Bates Motel, and eventually murder both Marion Crane and Milton Arbogast.  However, maybe that son is not going to be Norman but instead, it’s going to be Dylan.  After all, Dylan has been through a lot of emotional and mental turmoil since he tracked down his mother.  Who is to say that he didn’t finally snap and, after killing both his mother and his younger brother, ended up taking on both of their identities?

Obviously, the most plausible solution is the first one but I’m partial to the idea that Bates Motel is taking place in a parallel universe.  That would certainly explain a lot.

As for this week’s episode, it was a rather low-key affair, especially when compared to everything that went on last week.  But you know what?  That’s okay.  Bates Motel has reached the point where not every episode has to have fireworks.  In its second season, Bates Motel seems to be a lot more confident about what type of story its trying to tell and therefore, it can get by with a few episodes that are mostly about appreciating the performances and the show’s off-center vibe.

That’s not to say that things didn’t happen.  Actually, a lot of things happened but none of them were quite as memorable as Norman waving a knife at his uncle while taking on Norma’s personality.

Perhaps the episode’s most dramatic moment was Dylan getting run down in the middle of the street while firing a gun at a car full of rival drug dealers.  (I don’t find the whole drug war to be all that interesting but I do find it amusing that, in the small town of White Pine Bay, nobody ever seems to notice people shooting at each other in broad daylight).  At first, this panicked me because, as played by Max Thieriot, Dylan is one of my favorite characters on the show.  But, it turns out that not only was he not seriously injured but, after being taken to the hospital, he also got to meet his boss and — gasp! — she’s a woman!

We also found out tonight that, on the other side of the drug war, is the Ford Family.  And guess who is in charge of the Ford Family?  None other than Nick Ford, the friendly but slightly sinister guy who has promised to help Norma stop the bypass.  This week’s episode ended with the implication that Nick killed the councilman who was so rude to Norma at the city council meeting.

Speaking of Norma — well, where to begin with what’s going on with Norma?  Not only has she managed to ally herself with a drug lord but she’s also having to watch Norman as he runs around with Cody, a girl who not only has tattoos but who smokes and listens to loud music as well.  On the plus side, Sheriff Romero will apparently be spending several months at the Bates Motel now that the town’s drug dealers have burned down his house.  The scenes between Vera Farmiga and Nestor Carbonell were definite highlights of this week’s episode.  I love the chemistry between the outspoken Norma and the withdrawn Romero.  I’m predicting right now that they’ll be a couple before the final episode of the season and it probably won’t end well.

Vera Farmiga also had another great scene during this episode, in which she responded to Olivia Cooke’s Emma asking her about sex.  Speaking of Emma, she lost her virginity to the cute pot dealer.  Norman has already hinted that he doesn’t consider the cute pot dealer to be a good person so we can probably guess what’s going to eventually happen here.  That said, I’m just glad that Emma finally got to do something that she wanted to do, as opposed to just standing in the background and staring forlornly at Norman.

And finally, Norman is growing even closer to Cody, eventually having sex with her.  (And, again, this is more evidence of my parallel universe theory since the Norman Bates of Hitchcock’s film was a virgin.)   Eventually, he even confessed to her that he often has blackouts.  He also discovered that she comes from an abusive home.

And again, this is probably not going to end well…

Random Observations:

  • Nick Ford’s boat is named “Amnesia.”  What is it with evil people and boats?
  • Did Norman kill Uncle Caleb?  Hopefully, this won’t be another randomly abandoned Bates Motel subplot.

TV Review: Bates Motel 2.4 “Check-Out”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

download

As this week’s episode of Bates Motel came to an end, my immediate response was to say: “Now, that’s what I’ve been talking about!”

Much as Norman Bates could never quite decide if he was himself or if he was his mother, Bates Motel has always struggled with whether to fully embrace the over-the-top potential of the show’s concept or whether to try to be a more conventional and audience-friendly show.  Those of us who have been watching since the first episode have often been left to wonder whether Bates Motel would ever truly allow its version of Norman Bates to become as mentally conflicted as the version who showed up in Alfred Hitchcock’s film and Robert Bloch’s novel.  I have always been on the side of those who wanted the show to start boldly going over-the-top and to truly embrace its status as a prequel to Psycho.

The first three episodes of the second season provided hints that the show’s producers agreed with me.  Last night’s episode, however, proved it.

The episode’s final moments , which featured Norman (Freddie Highmore) slipping in-and-out of his mother’s personality while waving a knife at his Uncle Caleb (the same type of knife that was used to kill Janet Leigh in Psycho), were so powerful that they tended to overshadow everything else that happened during the previous hour.  Now, in the case of the drug war subplot, I really don’t mind forgetting.  The drug war is probably the least interesting part of the show and I always find myself hoping that each new episode will be the episode that wraps it up.  Both Dylan (Max Thieriot) and Sheriff Romero (Nestor Carbonell) are interesting characters and they’re both played by talented and appealing actors so why not put them in a subplot that is truly worthy of their talents?  Both of these characters are at their strongest when they’re having to deal with Norma and Norman so why waste time with a plot that — so far at least — has nothing to do with either of them?

However, I did enjoy the episode’s other two storylines.  It’s hard not respect just how determined Norma (Vera Farmiga) is to pretend that everything is normal when it’s clear to everyone else that nothing is normal.  As I’ve stated since this show began, Vera Farmiga kicks ass.  As a result, even though we all know that she’s making the wrong decisions and is raising a future serial killer, it’s impossible not to cheer for her.  From the creepy scene where she and Norman talked to each other while laying in bed to her harrowing argument with Dylan to her hilariously awkward date with George (Michael Vartan), this week’s episode was full of classic Farmiga moments.  Incidentally, I still don’t trust George.  He seems like a nice guy but then again, so did Deputy Shelby.

(Speaking of Deputy Shelby, whatever happened to that girl who chained up in his basement?  Is she still running around in the woods?)

Meanwhile, Emma (Olivia Cooke) may have finally found a boyfriend.  She started the episode waking up in a motel room with the cute guy that she met at Bradley’s beachside memorial.  No, he tells her, they did not have sex though Emma later tells the guy that she would like to do it with him but, at the same time, she wants her first time to be special — especially since it might be her only time.  Emma is my favorite character on the show and Olivia Cooke always does a good job playing her, so I’m always glad to see her get to do something but I have to admit that her new boyfriend isn’t exactly an exciting presence.  Typically, when it comes to television romance, we always hope that our favorite supporting character will end up with the show’s main character.  Certainly, Emma still likes Norman but do we really want to see her get together with him?

Especially after what happened last night.

Freddie Highmore really does not get enough credit for his performance as young Norman Bates.  A lot of that is because Norman is written to be something of a blank.  Highmore has to bring to life a potentially soulless character while also working in the shadow of Anthony Perkins’s iconic performance in Hitchcock’s film.  However, especially during this season, Freddie Highmore has really made the character of Norman Bates his own.  That was especially obvious during this week’s episode.  While soft-focus images of his mother being abused flashed through his mind, Norman waved a knife at Uncle Caleb while speaking in Norma’s voice and it worked brilliantly because of Freddie Highmore’s introspective performance.  Freddie Highmore take a potential jump sharking moment and turned it into the climax of the show’s best episode yet.

Did Norman kill his uncle?  That’s something that we’ll have to wait until next week to find out but one thing is for sure.

Bates Motel, much like the characters who run the show’s title establishment, is capable of anything.

A Quickie With Lisa Marie: Cat-Women Of The Moon (dir by Arthur Hilton)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

With Arleigh away in Boston, I originally thought that this weekend would present the perfect opportunity to turn Through The Shattered Lens into the web’s premier site for Twilight fan fiction and soulful Edward Cullen gifs.  I was even planning on writing a post about how, by simply using time travel as a plot device, one could do a massive Twilight-Divergent-Hunger Games crossover.  (Essentially, Katniss and Tris would work together to raise Bella’s self-esteem but there was a lot more to it than just that….)

It was going to be glorious but then I got distracted by a 1953 film called Cat-Women of The Moon.  

Cat-Women of the Moon attempts to imagine what will happen when mankind finally attempts to launch an expedition to the moon.  According to this film, it will involve four men and one woman sitting around on a rocket and trading sexist quips.

Among our crew:

Laird Grainger (Sonny Tufts) is the philosophical but tough captain who talks about the eternal mysteries of the stars.

Helen Salinger (Marie Windsor) is the ship’s navigator.  She also happens to be — GASP! — a female.  When asked why she should be allowed to step foot on the moon with the men, she replies, “Somebody needs to cook your meals!”  Because, you know, it’s 1953…

Then there’s Walter Walters (Douglas Fowley) who is secretly New Mexico’s biggest supplier of meth.  Oh wait — sorry, wrong Walter.  Walter Walters is just some guy with a mustache who won’t stop talking about how he’s going to use the moon to get rich.

And then there’s Kip (Victor Jory) and Doug (Bill Phipps), two all-American boys who deal with their problems by first considering their options and then shooting anyone who happens to be standing in their way.

Anyway, once the rocket finally does reach the moon, our intrepid crew discovers that not only does the moon have an atmosphere but it’s inhabited by both a giant spider (which looks a bit like an ill-conceived piñata whenever it dangles over the heads of our astronauts) and the Cat-Women of the Moon (played, the opening credits tell us, by “THE HOLLYWOOD COVER GIRLS”).

Now, if you’re like me, you probably saw the film’s title and then assumed that the film would be about women who were half feline.  You would be wrong.  Despite the film’s title, the Cat-Women don’t have much to do with actual cats.  Instead, they’re the last 8 members of an ancient race.  They all wear black leotards and, when Doug asks where their “menfolk” are, they reply that they have no need of men.

Oh, and get this — they spend all of their spare time dancing!

Seriously,whether they’re actually descended from cats or not,  the Cat-Women rock!  If I ever manage to trick Richard Branson into sending me to the moon, I’m joining up with the Cat Women!  Sorry, Earth men, y’all were fun and all but I’m a cat woman at heart…

Except, according to this film, the Cat Women might not be on the moon anymore.  Apparently, the moon’s atmosphere was evaporating and the Cat Women needed to steal the rocket so they could go to Earth and, as their leader puts it, convince all the women on Earth to rise up and destroy all the men.

Seriously, I was totally on her side.  Solidarity, sisters!

So, what do you think happened?  Did the Cat Women’s plot succeed or did our brave crew somehow manage to save the patriarchy?

You’ll have to watch to find out.  The film is only an hour and 8 minutes long and, if you’re like me and you enjoy watching movies that are so bad that they’re good, you’ll find a lot to enjoy in Cat-Women Of The Moon!

Review: Bates Motel 2.3 “Caleb”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Caleb

Well, that’s certainly icky.

Regardless of whatever else may have happened on this week’s episode of Bates Motel, it will always be remembered as the episode where things got even ickier than before.

I’m talking, of course, about the revelation that Dylan’s (Max Thieriot) father also happens to be his uncle, Caleb (Kenny Johnson).  I have to admit that I wasn’t necessarily surprised by this.  In fact, when one thinks about the world that Bates Motel takes place in, there was really no way that Caleb wasn’t going to turn out to be Dylan’s father.  It explains why Norma wants nothing to do with her oldest son and Max Thieriot, Vera Farmiga, and Kenny Johnson all deserve a lot of credit for their performances tonight.

That said, I’m hoping that Caleb — much like Deputy Shelby and so many of the other sleazy men who have stopped off at the Motel — will not be around that much longer because, seriously, he is just so icky!  Bates Motel has a good track record for violently executing sexual predators and I expect that same fate is waiting for Caleb.

If nothing else, Bates Motel seems to be making a good case against men in general.  Is there a single man in Norma Bates’s life who isn’t a deviant of some sort?  Earlier in the episode — before we discovered that Caleb was Dylan’s father — Norma met a guy named George (Michael Vartan).  George seems like a really nice guy but, seeing as this is Bates Motel, I’m still expecting him to have somebody chained up in his basement.

Along with the arrival of Uncle Caleb and Norma meeting George, this week’s other major subplot was Emma (Olivia Cooke) attempting to throw a beachside memorial service for Bradley.  As I’ve stated in the past, Emma is my favorite character so I was happy to finally see her getting to do something.  The memorial service was neatly contrasted with the garden party that Norma attended.  And just as Norma met George, Norman got to know Cody (Paloma Kwiatkowski), who, now that Bradley is gone, is apparently going to be the latest obstacle keeping Emma and Norman from getting together.

Then again, that might be for the best.

Norman and Emma are an adorable couple but, ultimately, he is Norman Bates, isn’t he?

Random Thoughts and Observations

  • This week’s “Vera Farmiga is a great actress who deserves an Emmy moment”: The Grand Canyon joke.
  • The great White Pine Bay drug war is apparently still raging.  Fortunately, I love Max Thieriot or else the whole drug war would be kind of boring.
  • That said, Dylan was kinda lingering a bit while Norma was getting dressed.  Again — icky!
  • The name of the town newspaper is the White Pine Bay Current.  For some reason, that amused me.
  • I felt so bad for Norma when she saw she hadn’t been cast in the town musical.
  • Tonight’s episode was directed by Lodge Kerrigan, who has a great name.
  • One thing that was not mentioned in this week’s episode: The murder of Ms. Watson.  I really hope that the show isn’t going to abandon that mystery just because Sheriff Romero arrested the wrong guy last week.  I have to admit that I’m still holding out hope that Norman did not kill Ms. Watson.
  • It’s interesting to note that Bates Motel and The Following both air on Monday nights.  They’re both unapologetically sordid shows about psychotic murderers and sexual deviants.  However, I love Bates Motel and I absolutely hate what I’ve seen of The Following.  The difference is that The Following is a sincerely misogynistic show whereas Bates Motel seems to actually like its cast of misfits.
  • “You’re in the chorus?  Do you want to be in the chorus?”  Trust me, nobody wants to be in the chorus!
  • That said, I would rather be in the chorus than be on the tech crew.  Poor Norman.

Film Review: Veronica Mars (dir by Rob Thomas)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

From 2004 until 2007, there were two types of people in the world.  There were people who knew that Veronica Mars was the best show on TV and then there was everyone else.

I’m proud to say that I was a member of the former group.

Airing first on UPN and then on the CW, Veronica Mars was about a tough and tenacious private investigator who also happened to be a high school student.  Veronica (played by Kristen Bell) had once been a popular student at Neptune High until her best friend was murdered.  When Veronica’s father, who also happened to be Neptune’s sheriff, accused Lily’s wealthy and powerful father of having committed the crime, he was forced out of office and Veronica suddenly found herself transformed into a social pariah.  Veronica not only solved Lilly’s murder but several other mysteries as well while also dealing with all the other melodrama that goes along with being a teenage girl.

Veronica Mars never got the ratings that it deserved and it ultimately suffered the humiliating fate of being canceled after three seasons and replaced by a reality series called Pussycat Dolls Presents.  But those of us who watched and loved the show knew that it was something special.  The show’s creator, Rob Thomas, took two genres that one would normally not think to combine — pulpy mystery and teenage soap opera — and used them to create something totally unique and always watchable.  At the center of it all was Kristen Bell’s wonderfully intelligent and snarky performance as Veronica Mars.  Veronica was the type of strong and intelligent character that we all wanted to be.  By watching her, her strength became our strength.

Those of us who loved the show knew that it was special but we also knew that it was something that only we would truly appreciate.  Even as we watched the show, we knew that it was too smart and too quirky to ever be truly appreciated by the type of audiences that embraced shows like JAG or According to Jim.  Perhaps that’s why I was always thankful for every episode of Veronica Mars, even the ones that made up the show’s much maligned third season.  I would watch Veronica and I would appreciate her strength and her humor and I would be jealous of the wonderful relationship she had with her Dad and, in the back of my mind, I always knew that the show would eventually be gone so I had to enjoy while I could.

From the moment that Veronica Mars was canceled, there were rumors that Veronica would eventually return in a feature film that would tie up all of the loose ends left over from the show’s cancellation.  On March 13th, 2013, Rob Thomas and Kristen Bell launched a kickstarter campaign to raise two million dollars to help get that film made.  Reaction was, to put it lightly, enthusiastic as fans of the show donated what they could to bring Veronica to the big screen.  I even talked two friends of mine into donating a hundred dollars each.  Neither one of them had ever seen the show but they both said that my heartfelt pleading won them over.  It took 10 hours for the Kickstarter campaign to reach its goal.  By the time it ended, over 5 million dollars had been raised.

And now, a little over a year since that historic kickstarter campaign was launched, the Veronica Mars movie has been released.  Much as the way the movie was funded made history, the movie itself is making history by being the first major studio film to be concurrently released in theaters and made available via video on demand.

Now, I know what some of you are saying: That’s all great, Lisa, but can you just tell us whether the movie’s any good?

Well, I’m getting there.  There’s a reason why I began this review with nearly 600 words about Veronica Mars the television series.  How you will react the movie will probably greatly depend on how you felt about the original series.  For those who were not fans or who never got around to watching the television series, Veronica Mars the movie will probably feel like a rather standard mystery that’s distinguished by a strong lead performance from Kristen Bell.  However, for those of us who loved the television show, Veronica Mars the movie is the perfect late Valentine’s Day gift.

Opening nine years after the end of the series, the movie wastes no time in getting us caught up with what Veronica’s life.  Veronica has left Neptune and all of her old friends.  She’s moved to New York City, she has a stable relationship with Piz (Chris Lowell), and she’s just been offered a job with a prestigious law firm.  While talking to her potential boss (played by Jamie Lee Curtis), Veronica casually dismisses both her former life as a private investigator and the third season’s infamous sex tape.

However, when her ex-boyfriend Logan (Jason Dohring) is accused of murdering his girlfriend, Veronica returns to Neptune.  Though she originally says that she’s only interested in helping Logan find a good lawyer and maybe attending her high school reunion, Veronica soon finds herself falling into her old habits.

Admittedly, the film’s central mystery isn’t that compelling, especially when compared to the first season mystery of who killed Lilly Kane.  As opposed to the show — where a mystery would be investigated over several episodes — the Veronica Mars movie only has 107 minutes to reveal why Logan’s girlfriend was killed and by who.

But that’s okay because, quite frankly, the movie’s target audience isn’t watching for the mystery.  We’re watching because we want to see how familiar characters like Veronica and Logan are doing.  We want to see how the past nine years have changed them.  This is where director Rob Thomas triumphs.  All of the show’s characters have returned.  Realistically, some of them have matured while some of them have definitely not.  Some of them only show up for cameos while others are central to solving the mystery but what’s important is that all of them are there.  That includes Keith Mars who, as played by Enrico Colantoni, remains one of the greatest father figures ever.

(Also back: Ryan Hansen’s wonderfully obnoxious Dick Casablancas.  I’m always happy for any chance to look at and appreciate Ryan Hansen.)

I enjoyed Veronica Mars and I was especially happy to see that its final scene contained the perfect set up for another film.  If you’re not familiar with the television series, I would suggest watching binge-watching all 64 episodes before watching the movie.  Seriously, you won’t be sorry.  You’ll get to watch one of the best (and most underappreciated) shows of all time and then you’ll be perfectly set up to enjoy one of the most entertaining films released in 2014 so far.

Finally, on a personal note, there’s no way I can’t mention the fact that my celebrity boyfriend, James Franco, appears, in an extended cameo, as himself.  Whether he’s flopping about while trying to fit into a pair of skinny jeans or trying to think of a word that rhymes with orange, James Franco is never less than adorable.  Every film should have a James Franco cameo.

Hopefully, he’ll return for Veronica Mars 2.

Film Review: Youngblood (dir by Peter Markle)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I mentioned in my review of Diary of a Hitman, I’ve been trying to watch as many obscure and forgotten films as possible.  For that reason, earlier tonight, I watched, via Movieplex OnDemand, a 1986 film called Youngblood.

Youngblood is one of those films that is so unbelievably predictable that I’m dreading having to detail the film’s plot because there is seriously no way to make it sound interesting.

Okay, let’s give it a shot.

Dean Youngblood (Rob Lowe) is a 17 year-old farmhand in upstate New York who also happens to be one of the state’s best hockey players.  He’s also lucky enough to have a plot-specific last name.  Just imagine if his name had been Dean Bloodthinner or Dean Oldboy.  You’d have a much different movie.  But anyway — Youngblood dreams of playing in the National Hockey League.  His father tells Youngblood to forget about his dreams.  His brother says, “Go for your dreams!”  Perhaps not surprisingly, Youngblood decides to go for his dreams because, otherwise, there wouldn’t be a movie.

Youngblood ends up playing in the Canadian Junior League.  (I should mention that the only reason I even know that there is a Canadian Junior League is because I watch Degrassi.)  After being taken under the wing of fellow player Derek Sutton (Patrick Swayze), Youngblood becomes one of the best players on the team.  However, he’s not comfortable beating up the opposing players, which leads his coach (Ed Lauter) to wonder if Youngblood lacks the killer instinct needed for professional hockey.  Youngblood also happens to be dating the coach’s daughter (Cynthia Gibb).  Anyway, as you can probably guess, the film concludes with a big game and a lot of shots of people shouting, “GO, YOUNGBLOOD!”

Youngblood is not a very good movie but its memorable for being perhaps the most aggressively male movie ever made.  Youngblood, for instance, has no mother.  He just has an older brother to learn from and a father to impress.  Indeed, to judge from Youngblood, upstate New York is apparently a female-free zone.  As opposed to New York, there are women in Canada and, in the world of this film, they all exist for one and only one reason: to validate the existence of Dean Youngblood.  The coach’s daughter does it by assuring him that he’s worthy of being loved.  All the other female characters — from his landlady to two groupies that he meets in a bar — do so by being sexually available.  When Youngblood has sex with his landlady, they’re watched by two other hockey players (one of whom is played by Keanu Reeves and says, “She do me last year.”).  After Youngblood has sex with the coach’s daughter, the first thing he does is track down Derek so he can tell him all about it.

Make no mistake about it.  Youngblood is a love story but it’s about the love between Youngblood and his teammates.  When Youngblood first makes the team, Derek holds him down and proceeds to shave his testicles with a dull razor.  When Youngblood finally starts fighting on the ice (and, in the process, becomes a man or something), he does it to defend his fellow teammates.  Poor Cynthia Gibb can only watch from the stands and cheer.  She’s finally realized that, by encouraging Youngblood to embrace peace over violence, she was holding him back from embracing his destiny.  Or something.

On a positive note, Rob Lowe looks as good in this film as he did earlier in Class and later in Parks and Recreation.  For that matter, a young and athletic Patrick Swayze looked pretty good in this film too.  However, the characters that they’re playing are so hyper-masculine that they quickly go from being sexy to just being obnoxious.  I’ll admit that, unlike the TSL’s own Leonard Wilson, I do not know much about hockey.  But I do know that if I ever have to suggest a hockey film to a friend, I will always suggest that they see Goon and forget about Youngblood.