Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.4 “Out Where The Buses Don’t Run”

Posted on February 26, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, we learn the cost of working Vice.

Episode 2.4 “Out Where The Buses Don’t Run”

(Dir by Jim Johnston, originally aired on October 18th, 1985)

This is it. This is the episode that is regularly cited as being one of the best, if not the best, episodes that Miami Vice ever aired. Out Where The Buses Don’t Run takes a look at the psychological costs of spending one’s life obsessing on crime and justice. What starts out as a comedy turns into the bleakest episode of the show so far.

Things get off to a great start, with Crockett and Tubbs pursuing a drug dealer on the beach. While The Who’s Baba O’Riley plays on the soundtrack, the dealer roller skates down a sidewalk and a preacher (played by Little Richard) sends his young congregation out to collect money. As Crockett and Tubbs wait for their chance to arrest the dealer, someone watches them from a nearby window and takes pictures. Crockett asks Tubbs if he ever gets the feeling that he’s being watched.

The man taking the pictures turns out to be Hank Weldon (Bruce McGill), a former Vice cop who quit the force six years prior when a case that he had spent three years making fell apart and a drug lord was set free on a technicality. The drug lord vanished after the case against him was thrown out and it’s assumed that he was murdered by his associates. Hank, however, insists that the drug lord is still alive and he’s returned to Miami. He wants Crockett and Tubbs to help him finally catch the criminal that evaded him all those years before.

A quick check with Weldon’s former partner, Marty Lang (David Strathairn), reveals that Weldon left the force after he had a nervous breakdown and he’s spent the past few years in a mental facility. The loud and flamboyant Weldon is obviously still unstable but Crockett and Tubbs cannot shake the feeling that he might know what he’s talking about.

And, as is revealed at this end of this episode, they’re right …. kind of. Weldon does know where the missing drug lord is. The drug lord is walled up in an abandoned building. He’s been there since 1979. At the end of episode, with Tubbs, Crockett, Castillo, and Lang watching, Weldon tears down the wall and reveals the decayed skeleton of the drug lord. Weldon announces that he murdered him and walled him up. Lang then reveals that he helped.

“He was my partner,” Lang says, “Understand?”

Crockett understands and the audience understands as well. When Weldon’s obsession drove him crazy, Lang was the only one to whom he could turn. And Lang, being his partner, was the only one who understood how he felt. Lang may have been a cop but his number one loyalty was to his partner, just as Crockett’s number one loyalty will always be to Tubbs.

As played by Bruce McGill, Hank Weldon goes from being a cheerful eccentric to a bitter and paranoid lunatic to, finally, a man who can no longer stand to hide what he’s done. It’s an excellent performance that keeps the audience guessing. He may be a murderer and he’s obviously still unstable but your heart can’t help but break for him. The combination of Jim Johnston’s moody direction, a perfect collection of songs on the soundtrack, and the performances of Bruce McGill and David Strathairn really do come together to make this an excellent episode. In the end, it’s hard not to feel that Crockett and Tubbs are both one step away from becoming Weldon and Lang themselves.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/18/24 — 2/24/24

Posted on February 24, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Greetings from Lake Texoma! It’s been a relaxing week and exactly what I needed. Here’s some thoughts on what I watched out on the deck.

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

“Janine smokes weed every day!”

Finally! After being slightly disappointed with the previous episodes of Abbott Elementary, this week’s episode was definitely a return to form! Whether it was all of the teachers talking about their drugs of choice or the hilarious FADE assembly, this episode epitomized everything that makes this show special. And while Janine smoking weed every day may seem a bit unexpected, it makes sense when you consider that she dated Tariq for ten years.

American Idol (Sunday Night, ABC)

Whenever American Idol starts a new season, I always find myself saying, “Is that show still on?” Seriously, it’s been a while since American Idol was a huge part of the cultural landscape and it’s been even longer since the show introduced America to genuine talents like Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood.

This season got off to an odd start, with Ryan Seacrest saying that the previous winner had put his home state of Hawaii on the map. No, Ryan — I’m pretty sure people knew about Hawaii before American Idol. As I watched the rest of the first audition episode, it occurred to me that, once again, the judges were too concerned about their own image to really offer up any sort of constructive feedback. That’s one reason why a show like this needs someone who is willing to be brutally honest and who has nothing to lose by being the show’s “villain.” Simon Cowell was a brilliant judge because he could always just hop on a plane and head back to the UK if his criticism ever turned America against him. Katy Perry, Luke Bryan, and Lionel Richie, on the other hand, all have brands that are based on being likable and not destroying people’s dreams.

Everyone who auditioned had a tragic backstory and they all did that thing were they oversold the emotion of whatever they were singing. It was kind of boring, to be honest. It’s been a long time since the show has produced a true American idol.

Bubblegum Crisis (Night Flight Plus)

Jeff and I watched an episode of this anime on Saturday morning. I have no idea what was going on in the episode but a lot of stuff blew up.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Thursday night, Jeff and I watched an episode in which a woman named Lynsey accused her ex of abusing their daughter. That Lynsey was lying was pretty obvious from the start. Eventually, Lynsey got angry and stormed off stage. She came back out a bit later and accused Dr. Phil of turning her story into a “circus.” Usually, I’m totally in favor of people giving Dr. Phil a hard time but, in this case, Lynsey really was the worst.

Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court (YouTube)

He was the father! Yay! I had an episode of this playing in the background on Friday morning while I was in the process of waking up.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

After playing the role for almost as long as I’ve been alive, Sam Waterston played Jack McCoy for the last time this week. McCoy resigned as District Attorney in order to protect his subordinates from the political fall-out of prosecuting a friend of the Mayor’s. I would have liked to have seen McCoy retire on his own terms, as opposed to being forced out. Quitting in the face of political pressure felt out of character for Jack McCoy. And the fact that he resigned to protect Price and Maroun, neither one of whom really feels worthy of the sacrifice, only adds insult to injury.

I find it interesting that almost every episode of Law & Order seems to feature a wealthy murderer. Do poor people not commit crimes in New York City?

Maury (YouTube)

“You are the father!” “You are not the father!” “You’re going to be in this baby’s life, right?” “Oh, you know it, Maury!” I watched way too much Maury on Friday and I will never forgive myself.

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff and I watched a profile of Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath.

The Vanishing Shadow (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff and I watched another episode of this 1930s serial. Our heroes spent the entire episode fleeing gangsters.

Watched and Reviewed Elsewhere:

Baywatch Nights
Check it Out (review will be dropping in 30 minutes)
CHiPs
Fantasy Island
Friday the 13th: The Series
Highway to Heaven
In The Lion’s Den
The Love Boat
Miami Vice
Monsters
T and T
Welcome Back, Kotter

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.3 “Whatever Works”

Posted on February 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we learn how Sonny affords all of those wonderful toys.

Episode 2.3 “Whatever Works”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on October 4th, 1985)

Have you ever wondered how Sonny Crockett afford that nice Ferrari on just a cop’s salary? To be honest, it hadn’t really occurred to me. I just assumed that everyone in the 80s owned a Ferrari. I’ve been more concerned with how Sonny manages to maintain his undercover identity despite the fact that he spends almost all of his time hanging out with his fellow cops. I mean, surely, someone in the Miami underworld has noticed that “Sonny Burnett” sure does seem to have a lot of friends who worked Vice.

Regardless, in this episode, we learn that Sonny doesn’t actually own the Ferrari. Instead, it’s a vehicle that the department loans to Sonny so that he can maintain his cover. Apparently, the Ferrari once belonged to an actual drug dealer. Unfortunately, the Miami Police Department desperately needs to make some money at their next police auction so Maxwell Dierks (Robert Trebor), a weaselly bureaucrat, decides to repossess Sonny’s Ferrari and auction it off.

Sonny spends most of this episode obsessing on his car. While the rest of the Vice Squad laughs at Sonny’s misfortune, local informant Izzy Moreno tries to trick Dierks into giving him the car so that he can return it to Sonny. I hope Sonny appreciates who his true friends are. Anyway, Castillo eventually pulls some strings to save Sonny’s car. Maybe Sonny should have gone to him in the first place but, then again, Castillo is kind of intimidating. He literally never smiles.

While Sonny is obsessing on his car, someone is killing cops and leaving behind Santeria charms. Despite having grown up in Florida and being a veteran vice detective, it appears that Sonny has never before heard of Santeria. However, Castillo and Tubbs know all about it. Castillo is even friends with a Santeria priestess (Eartha Kitt) who explains that the killers did not view the cops as being policemen but instead as being fellow criminals.

It turns out that there’s a group of cops who have been shaking down drug dealers and now, they’re being killed one-by-one. For all the talk of Santeria, the solution to the problem is actually pretty straight forward. The Vice squad tracks down the people doing the killing and, after a shoot-out, the bad guys surrender. And that’s the end of that.

Oh, this episode. It had potential but it just fell flat. The Santeria stuff felt tacked on and it was pretty obvious that the episode’s writers were more interested in Sonny trying to get his car back than in the episode’s main storyline. Even the Eartha Kitt cameo felt a bit perfunctory.

On the plus side, this episode did feature a band singing Bang A Gong in the middle of a bar fight. That was pretty cool. The band was called Power Station and apparently, it was an off-shoot of Duran Duran. What’s interesting is that the members of the band are portrayed as being old friends of Sonny, to the extent that they applaud him as he beats up a bad cop. It brings a real “The name is Dalton” energy to the scene.

This week’s episode was a bit disappointing but next week’s episode is apparently a classic. I look forward to watching and reviewing Out Where The Buses Don’t Run.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/11/24 — 2/17/24

Posted on February 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This was another week in which I didn’t watch much television, beyond what I usually review. A lot of that is because I was preoccupied with exercising my ankle (which is doing much better) and Valentine’s Day! And some of it is because I guess modern television just doesn’t interest me that much right now. All the game shows and the self-conscious prestige dramas are just kind of boring.

Anyway, here’s some thought on what I did watch this week!

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

I felt that this week’s episode was a clear improvement over the premiere, though the show still seems to be struggling to find its footing in the third season. I liked Gregory as the cool teacher and I enjoyed the return of Tariq but I’m still not a fan of Janine working for the district.

Bubblegum Crisis (Night Flight Plus)

The action moved to Houston in the episode that I watched on Saturday morning. As usual, I couldn’t really follow the plot but it was fun to watch everything explode. Bubblegum Crisis takes place in 2033 so I guess we’ve got nine years left.

Diocese Of Dallas Catholic Mass (Sunday Afternoon, Channel 27)

For various reasons, I really wanted to go to Mass on Sunday but with my sprained ankle, I really didn’t feel like having to hop all the way down to St. Joseph’s. Fortunately, television to the rescue!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Monday night. A woman falsely accused her ex-husband of using their child to make pornographic movies. Her husband passed a lie detector test and, as Phil pointed out, the woman’s story was full of inconsistencies and never made any sense. Despite being exposed as being a liar, the woman refused to apologize.

On Saturday, I watched an episode that featured an online gambling addict who, having lost all of his money, was now living in his mother’s basement. “We are staging an intervention,” Dr. Phil said, in that ultra-dramatic way of his.

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

This Friday, I watched an episode about famous people who made cameo appearances in 80s music videos.

The Super Bowl (Sunday Night, CBS)

I have to admit that I was really rooting for the 49ers by the end of the game. I always like it when the underdogs win. But still, congratulations to the Chiefs on their victory. As usual, I was mostly watching for the commercials but I got kind of bored with them this year. The one with Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck, and Matt Damon was amusing.

The Vanishing Shadow (Night Flight Plus)

I watched another installment of this old timey serial on Saturday morning. Our heroes spent most of this episode being pursued by gangsters. Fortunately, they had a vanishing ray! This old 30s serial is a lot of fun.

Watched and Reviewed Elsewhere:

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)
Check It Out (Tubi) — Review Dropping In 30 Minutes
CHiPs (Freevee)
Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)
Fantasy Island (Daily Motion)
Friday the 13th (YouTube)
Highway to Heaven (Freevee)
Lookwell (YouTube)
The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)
Miami Vice (Tubi)
Monsters (Tubi)
T and T (Tubi)
Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

Retro Television Reviews: Miami Vice 2.1 and 2.2 “The Prodigal Son”

Posted on February 12, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the second season with a two-hour long premiere! Crockett and Tubbs are going to New York!

Episode 2.1 and 2.2 “The Prodigal Son”

(Dir by Paul Michael Glaser, originally aired on September 27th, 1985)

The second season premiere of Miami Vice opens with a series of set pieces.

In Panama, Crockett and Tubbs visit a secret military base in the jungle and are disgusted to learn how the Panamanian military gets information about drug smugglers. Tubbs and Crockett find one horribly tortured man in a tent. Tubbs gives him a drink of water and gets what information he can from the man. Crockett and Tubbs leave the tent. A gunshot rings out as the involuntary informant is executed. When the shot rings out, both Crockett and Tubbs turn back to the tent in slow motion, stunned by the brutality of their allies in the Drug War. Indeed, it’s hard not to compare the scene to the famous photograph of a South Vietnamese general executing a communist during the Vietnam War.

The Vietnam analogy continues with the next scene. In the Everglades, Crockett, Tubbs, and the entire Vice Squad work with the DEA to ambush the Revilla cousins as they bring drugs into the U.S. Sitting in the swamp, Crockett compares the experience to Vietnam, suggesting that the war on the drugs is just as futile and as costly. And indeed, it’s hard not to notice that every drug dealer that Crockett and Tubbs has taken down over the course of this show has immediately been replaced by another. The Revillas are just another in a long line of people getting rich off of other people’s addictions.

After the bust goes down, Crockett and Tubbs arrives at a celebratory party, just to discover that almost of all of the undercover DEA agents have been murdered and Gina has been seriously wounded. There is something very haunting about this scene, with Crockett and Tubbs rushing through a penthouse and seeing a dead body in almost every room.

At a meeting in a stark office, the head DEA agent explains that his agency has been compromised and all of his undercover agents have been unmasked. Someone has to go to New York and work undercover to take down the Revillas but it can’t be any of his people. Since the Revillas are smuggling their stuff in through Miami, Miami Vice has jurisdiction. Paging Crockett and Tubbs!

Working undercover as Burnett and Cooper, Crockett and Tubbs visit a low-level drug dealer (played by Gene Simmons) who lives on a yacht and who gives them the name of a connection in New York City.

From there, Miami Vice moves to New York City, where Crockett and Tubbs meet a low-level criminal named Jimmy Borges (played by an almost impossibly young Penn Jillette) and they try to infiltrate the Revilla organization. Along the way, Tubbs meets up with Valerie (Pam Grier) and discovers that she has apparently lost herself working undercover. Meanwhile, Crockett has a brief — and kind of weird — romance with a photographer named Margaret (Susan Hess).

(“I like guns,” she says when Crockett demands to know why she stole his.)

With Crockett and Tubbs leaving Miami for New York in order to get revenge for a colleague who was wounded during an operation, The Prodigal Son almost feels like the pilot in reverse. Also, much like the pilot, the exact details of The Prodigal Son‘s story are often less important than how the story is told. This episode is full of moody shots of our heroes walking through New York while songs like You Belong To The City play on the soundtrack. (There’s also a song from Phil Collins, undoubtedly included to bring back memories of the In The Air Tonight scene from the pilot.) It’s all very entertaining to watch, even if the story itself doesn’t always make total sense. Indeed, you really do have to wonder how all of these criminals keep falling for Sonny’s undercover identity as Sonny Burnett. You would think that someone would eventually notice that anyone who buys from Sonny Burnett seems to get busted the very next day.

Stylish as the storytelling may be, this episode actually does have something on its mind. Those lines comparing the War on Drugs to the Vietnam Conflict was not just throwaways. Towards the end of the episode, Crockett and Tubbs follow a lead to the offices of J.J. Johnston (Julian Beck, the ghost preacher from Poltergeist II). The skeletal Johnston is an investor of some sort. He has no problem admitting that he’s involved in the drug trade, presumably because he knows that there’s nothing Crockett and Tubbs can do to touch him. Upon meeting the two cops, he immediately tells them exactly how much money they have in their checking accounts. He points out that they’re poor and they’re fighting a losing war whereas he’s rich and he’s making money off of a losing war. Beck gives a wonderfully smug performance as Johnston and it should be noted that, of all of the episode’s villains, he’s the only one who is not brought to any sort of justice. Val almost loses herself. Tubbs and Crockett don’t even get a thank you for their hard work. The somewhat sympathetic Jimmy Borges ends up dead while the Revillas were undoubtedly been replaced by even more viscous dealers. Meanwhile, J.J. Johnston relaxes in his office and counts his money. This is the No Country For Old Men of Miami Vice episodes.

This episode is also full of familiar faces. Charles S. Dutton, Kevin Anderson, Anthony Heald, Miguel Pinero, James Russo, Bill Smtirovich, Zoe Tamerlis, Paul Calderon, and Louis Guzman, they all show up in small roles and add to show’s rather surreal atmosphere. This is Miami Vice at its most dream-like, full of people you think you might know despite the fact that they’re doing things of which you don’t want to be a part.

As for the title, The Prodigal Son is Tubbs and he is tempted to stay in New York City. But, in the end, he joins Crockett on that flight back to Miami. It’s his home.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/4/24 — 2/10/24

Posted on February 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

You would think that, being stuck on the couch with an injured ankle, I would have watched a lot of television this week. I didn’t. Instead, I barely turned on the TV. Instead, I spent most of my time listening to music and wondering if this year is going to continue in a sucky direction or if its going to redeem itself.

Here’s a few thoughts on what little I did watch:

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

Abbott Elementary, the most acclaimed sitcom on network TV, started its 3rd season this week with a special hour-long episode in which Janine left her teaching job and took a job with the school district. Meanwhile, her relationship with Gregory continued to be awkward, Barbara continued to be the voice of wisdom, Ava briefly tried to be a good principle before returning to her old ways, and Melissa broke up with her latest boyfriend. And, of course, Career Day was a disaster.

The premiere had its amusing moments but …. I don’t know. Something felt a bit off to me. I’m not really sure I like the idea of Janine working for the school district. It seems like one of those storylines that is just going to be dragged out for way too long and, even worse, it feels like it was mostly included so the show could find another excuse to keep Janine and Gregory from getting together. Gregory’s social awkwardness, which was so likable during the previous two seasons, is starting to feel a bit old now. You’ve been at the school for three years, dude! YOU CAN SMILE! On the plus side, quarterback Jalen Hurts was good playing himself. (“My boundaries are extremely porous.’) We’ll see how things go with the rest of the season. I have faith in Abbott.

Check it Out (Tubi)

I re-watched last week’s episode Check It Out! earlier today. My review should be dropping soon.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

It was a good episode this week. Nolan Price got his conviction but at the cost of giving immunity to one of the sleaziest characters to ever appear on the show. That led to another recriminating glare from Maroun. As for the cops are concerned, I’m liking the laid-back vibe that Reid Scott is bringing to his role. Until this season started, I never realized how nervous I would get whenever I had to watch any scene featuring Jeffrey Donavon as the ultra-intense Cosgrove. With Reid Scott, I feel like I can actually breathe.

Snub (Night Flight Plus)

This was a BBC music show from the 80s, featuring independent British bands. I watched an episode on Friday night, featuring a bunch of British rappers. It was okay. For the most part, I liked the no-nonsense, no apologies attitude of the hosts. They were British, working class, and proud of it.

Watched and reviewed elsewhere:

Retro Television Reviews: Miami Vice 1.22 “Lombard”

Posted on February 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 21st episode of Miami Vice is Evan. It’s regularly listed as being one of the best episodes of the show and it’s not available to stream online. Apparently, this is due to someone referring to another character as being a “faggot.” Yes, it’s a dirty word but I’m an adult and I do think that I could handle hearing the word and figuring out the context of why it was used. Censorship sucks so shame on Prime, Tubi, NBC, and everyone else who is involved in not streaming Evan.

With Evan not available to be viewed, I moved on to the first season finale.

Episode 1.22 “Lombard”

(Dir by John Nicollela, originally aired on May 10th, 1985)

The first season of Miami Vice comes to an end with a rather simple story. Lombard (Dennis Farina) is a crime lord, a first-generation Italian-American whose father lived an honest life and who died poor as a result. Lombard did what he had to do to get ahead and, as a result, he’s now a very rich man who lives on a boat.

He’s also being targeted by both rival gangsters and the law. When Lombard agrees to testify against the Mafia in return for immunity, Crockett and Tubbs are assigned to babysit him until the trial. Crockett and Tubbs are both weary of Lombard but Lombard turns out to be a charming guy with a sense of ethics. He cooks them a big Italian dinner. He entertain them with stories. Crockett and Tubbs start to like the guy, even if guarding him means that they get involved in a few mob shootouts.

However, when it comes time to testify, Lombard refuses. Under the immunity deal, he’s no longer qualified to plead the fifth but Lombard does just that. Repeatedly, he pleads the fifth and, as a result, he gets enough contempt citations that he’s probably looking at least a decade in jail, regardless of the fact that he didn’t admit to any of the major crimes that he committed.

Sonny and Tubbs are impressed. Lombard may be a criminal but he has a sense of honor. He doesn’t snitch. He’s not a rat. Of course, that doesn’t make a difference to the criminals who apparently gun him down in the episode’s final ambiguous freeze frame.

The story was simple and, to be honest, it wasn’t anything that Miami Vice hadn’t already done. But the episode works, because of Dennis Farina’s charismatic performance as Lombard and John Nicolella’s stylish and moody direction. The first season of Miami Vice ends much as it began, with ambiguity and defeat. Lombard scores a moral victory but is gunned down minutes afterwards. Crockett and Tubbs keep Lombard alive just long enough for him to double-cross the authorities. In the end, the ruthless gangster turns out to have more honor than the people prosecuting him and Crockett and Tubbs are again forced to consider that there’s not a lot of difference between them and the people that they’re chasing.

Next week …. it’s time for Season 2!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/28/24 — 2/3/24

Posted on February 3, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This previous week …. bleh. Let’s just take a look at what I watched.

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

Eh. I’m pretty lukewarm on the new bachelor. He seems like a nice guy but he’s kind of boring.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I reviewed Baywatch Nights here!

Check it Out (Tubi)

I’m running behind but I’ll have a review of this week’s episode up sometime on Sunday.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I reviewed CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I reviewed Degrassi here!

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I reviewed Fantasy Island here!

Football (Sunday)

Did I watched two football games on Sunday? According to my notes, Jeff and I watched two playoff games but I’ll be darned if I can tell you a dang thing about either one of them.

Friday the 13th (YouTube)

I’m running behind but I’ll have a review of this week’s episode up sometime on Sunday.

Happy Hour (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this old 90s game show on Saturday morning. Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa asked bizarre questions to celebrities. Dweezil was cool but Ahmet was like the hyperactive cousin that no one wants to deal with at the family reunion. Amongst the celebrities were Chuck Woolery, Alexandra Paul, Patton Oswalt, and that “Let’s Get Ready To Rumble” ring announcer dude.

Highway to Heaven (Freevee)

I wrote about this week’s episode here!

Judge Dad (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which Judge Dad dealt with a woman who claimed her Canadian husband only married her for a visa. Judge Dad interrupted the show so he could do a commercial for some sort of special food delivery system. I followed this episode with an episode in which Judge Dad admonished a man for slashing his ex’s tires. Both episodes featured the same disclosure. Judge Dad is not a lawyer and the cases are fiction.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

I got caught up with the first three episodes of the new season this week. I am really impressed by Reid Scott, who is this season’s newest cast member. He and Mehcad Brooks are working well together and Brooks, for his part, is no longer quite as stiff as he was the previous season. Sam Waterston, bless him, is obviously not in the best of health and I really hope he retires after this season and enjoys life. So far, Nolan Price appears to have mellowed out, especially when compared to previous two seasons. But what has happened to Maroun? She was finally showing some sparks of having a personality at the end of the previous season but now, she’s back to being a humorless scold who wears too much lipstick.

The first three episodes of the new season were all fairly good. I cringe whenever the blue collar cops on Law & Order start talking like MSNC pundits (and I still laugh whenever I remember last season’s “Did you all see Morning Joe?”). Law & Order will probably never be the beacon of quality that it once was but this season is off to a good start.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I reviewed the third season finale here!

Miami Vice (Tubi)

I reviewed Miami Vice here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

Sally talked to women who felt their marriage were in trouble. All of the husband were total deadbeats. One guy came out on stage wearing his uniform from McDonald’s. I’m sure the bosses were really happy about that.

So Here’s What Happened (YouTube)

I wrote about this obscure pilot here!

Square Pegs (YouTube)

This was a sitcom from the early 80s, about two girls trying to be popular in high school. I watched the pilot on Friday night and I smiled a few times. Trying to fit in is a timeless subject. One of the girls was played by Sarah Jessica Parker, who I love because, like me, she’s a part of the Big Nose Crew. BNC FOREVER!

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about it here!

Retro Television Reviews: Miami Vice 1.20 “Nobody Lives Forever”

Posted on January 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Sorry, it’s been a busy day and I’m a little bit medicated and, as a result, this review is posting later than expected. Fortunately, this week’s episode is also about someone struggling to keep up with their schedule. Read on!

Episode 1.20 “Nobody Lives Forever”

(Dir by Jim Johnston, originally aired on March 29th, 1985)

Nobody lives forever, the title tells us. That’s certainly true in 1980s Miami.

Three teenage punks have gone on a crime spree, killing innocent civilians and criminals alike. The punks (who are played by Frank Military, Michael Carmine, and Lionel Chute) are initially easy to laugh off because of how over the top they are. When they decide to go to the beach and rob a bookie, they start chanting, “Bookie! Bookie!” But, just because they’re ludicrous, that doesn’t make them any less dangerous. From the very first scene, they’re shooting at people and laughing like maniacs. As informant Izzy Moreno puts it, these are three guys who know that “they’re already dead.” They’ve got both the police and the mob (represented by Peter Friedman and a young Giancarlo Esposito) after them. They might as well go out in a blaze of glory.

What else would you expect from three people who drive this car?

Vice is after the teenagers but, for once, Sonny Crockett has got other things on his mind. Sonny is dating a wealthy architect named Brenda (Kim Greist) and he’s spending all of his free time at her mansion. Even when he’s working the streets, Sonny is thinking about Brenda. He misses a chance to capture the three teens because he is too busy talking to Brenda on the phone. Later, Tubbs gets severely beaten up because Brenda allowed Sonny to oversleep and Tubbs had to go on a stakeout alone.

Brenda asks Sonny if it’s true that a cop partnership is like a marriage and this episode certainly suggests it is and an obsessive one at that. All of the members of the Vice Squad get annoyed with Sonny for finding happiness off the grubby streets of Miami. Castillo doesn’t think Sonny is focused. Tubbs thinks that Sonny is losing his edge. Gina is upset that Sonny led her on earlier in the season. Switek and Zito …. well, they’re too busy reading comic books to really care much about Sonny’s problems.

There are several artfully composed shots of Sonny and Brenda floating in her pool and discussing how Sonny can go from having a gun pulled on him to relaxing at home without missing a beat. Don Johnson and Kim Greist had a lot of chemistry and it’s impossible not to feel bad when Sonny realizes that he can either be Brenda’s lover or he can be a cop but he can’t be both.

In the end, the punks end up getting gunned down by Vice and Sonny ends the best relationship he’s ever had. And Tubbs? He sits on the beach and plays his saxophone.

That’s life in Miami.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/21/24 — 1/27/24

Posted on January 27, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s some thoughts on what I watched this week!

Acting Sheriff (YouTube)

I wrote about Acting Sheriff here!

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

A new season of The Bachelor started this week. After skipping the previous few installments of this franchise, I did watch the first episode of the latest season. The new bachelor is kind of dull but I enjoyed seeing the mansion and all of the clothes. Jesse is kind of a boring host. The Bachelor hasn’t been fun since Chris Harrison was fired for upsetting the online horde.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out (Tubi)

My review of Check It Out may be an hour or two late this week. It’s been a busy day.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Couples Court With The Cutlers (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which the Cutlers talked to a woman who was accused of cheating on her fiancée with her husband. What? Yes, it was confusing and silly and the fact that the fiancée had a high-pitched, cartoon character voice did not help matters. This was one of those episodes where they brought in the “voice analysist” to determine who was lying. Considering that everyone on the show had a terrible voice, I did not envy the analysist. That said, I also have a hard time understanding how voice analysis can be used in the place of a polygraph. Anyway, no one was cheating according to their voices.

I followed this up with an episode in which a husband accused his wife of cheating because of muddy footprints that he found in his home. The wife was not cheating and the husband was a bit of a paranoid freak.

Later, I watched an episode in which a man felt that his wife was cheating on him because she was no longer wearing sexy underwear around him, despite the fact that he kept finding brand new thongs in the laundry. The lie detector indicated that she was indeed cheating. The wife, at one point, said that she felt like she was “starring in a romantic comedy with Will Smith.”

Then, tonight, I watched an episode in which a woman thought her much older husband was cheating on her with her best friend because she found her friend in their bed. Fortunately, it turned out that the husband was faithful and the best friend was just a blackout drunk.

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Extended Family (Tuesday Night, NBC)

I had no interest in watching this show but I was watching Peacock on Wednesday night and I was too lazy to switch to another streaming service when the show automatically started. Jon Cryer plays a divorced father in Boston who is still friends with his ex-wife and her new fiancé. Why is everything always set in Boston? Seriously, who care about freaking Boston?

Anyway, I was so lazy that I ended up watching the first two episodes and they were both pretty dire. The “created by Mike O’Malley” credit card explained why. Cryer, our beloved Duckie, is even more pathetic here than he was as wimpy Alan on Two and a Half Men. (Disclaimer: I think I’ve seen like five episodes of Two and A Half Men, maybe six.) It’s sad to think that NBC has gone from The Office to Night Court/Extended Family.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

I was so happy Ryan won! This was one of Hell’s Kitchen’s best seasons. While Big Brother, Survivor, and even The Amazing Race have struggled to remain relevant in our new, post-COVID age, Hell’s Kitchen succeeds by not messing with what works.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Judge Dad (YouTube)

I watched two episodes of this courtroom show on Monday. The very slow-talking judge heard a case about a woman who wanted another woman to pay for her $900 Prada dress. The second case involved a woman who felt that her ex owed her some sort of compensation for giving her COVID. The second case bothered me because the judge’s ruling didn’t seem to follow any sort of legal precedent. I then noticed a disclaimer that stated that 1) Judge Dad was not a legal expert but just some guy making his own decisions and 2) the litigants were actors and the cases were all fictional.

On Tuesday, I watched an episode in which a tenant sued her landlord for setting up spy cameras in her apartment and “recording me in my lingerie.” Judge Dad was particularly upset by this case. “I feel like you are my daughter!” he thundered, “You must make better decision about where you live!” The landlord was really, really sleazy and disgusting but again, the whole thing was fictional so …. yeah.

Judge Mom (YouTube)

On Wednesday, I watched an episode of Judge Dad‘s companion series, Judge Mom. A young comic book artist accused an older artist of stealing his ideas. Judge Mom found in favor of the younger artist. Just as with Judge Dad, the episode ended with a disclaimed that “Judge Mom is not a legal expert” and the case was fictional. The acting on Judge Mom was far less convincing than the acting on Judge Dad.

It was just bad enough that I had to watch a second episode. This one featured a set of parents suing a little league team for “firing” their son from the team. Judge Mom was offended by how petty all of the adults were. Little league is supposed to be about the kids! You tell ’em, Judge Mom!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Miami Vice (Tubi)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Court (Tuesday Night, NBC)

It’s weird. This is a badly conceived show that rarely even makes me smile and yet it’s something that I find myself watching on Peacock whenever I’m bored and I don’t have time to watch anything that runs longer than 21 minutes. I don’t know why this is, because I really don’t care much for the show and it’s only gotten worse in its second season. I think the problem is that Abby Stone is way too naive to be a judge and her nonstop enthusiasm can be a bit hard to take. For instance, this week’s episode featured her still trying to get over breaking up with her boyfriend and obsessing over her inability to get a date. That story had comedic potential but seriously, Abby’s a judge. IN NEW YORK CITY! Toughen up!

Paternity Court (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Monday. Fortunately, the former army officer who had just returned from deployment was the father.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!