Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Arnold Horshack becomes the mad prophet of the air waves.

Episode 3.16 “Sweatwork”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on December 22nd, 1977)

At the new apartment, Gabe tells Julie about his Uncle Herman.  “He’s a sports mechanic,” Gabe explains, “He fixes basketball games.”

Hey, that’s illegal!

Meanwhile, at the school, Woodman asks to meet with Freddie.  Freddie agrees, even though Woodman has been acting strangely.  Woodman enters the classroom and immediately asks for a high five, holding up his hand and saying, “Right on, bro.  Skin me.”

Woodman is excited because the school board is giving money to every high school to start a radio station.  And the station that gets the highest ratings will receive a trophy.  Buchanan High has never won a trophy before.  Because Freddie has radio experience, Woodman want Freddie to be in charge of Buchanan’s station.  Freddie agrees.

“That’s groovy!” Woodman says.

Juan Epstein and Darth Vader at the station

Freddie makes Epstein the consumer repairs reporter while giving Horshack the lead anchor role.  (Vinnie is also said to be a reporter but John Travolta is never actually seen in this episode.)  Unfortunately, Horshack turns out to be ratings poison.

“He reminds me of Tokyo Rose,” Woodman says, while listening to Horshack.  “Bye bye, young G.I.”

Freddie follows Woodman’s orders and fires Horshack but he does agree to allow Horshack one more broadcast to say goodbye.  Grabbing the microphone, Horshack asks his listeners to go to their windows and shout, “I’m fed up, Arnold …. AND I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!”

Suddenly, Horshack is ratings gold.  He’s the mad prophet of the air waves.  He has fans who hang on his every word.  But when Horshack announces that the teachers should not be given a raise, he is invited to the Kotter apartment.  Gabe tells Horshack that he has meddled in the primal forces of nature and “YOU WILL ATONE!”

Horshack drops his anti-teacher rhetoric and goes back to being a normal, boring broadcaster.  His ratings crash.  Woodman vengefully announces that Horshack will be kept after school.

“This has been the story of Arnold Horshack,” Gabe says, “the only man kept after school for bad ratings.”

The episode ends with Gabe telling Woodman about how his Uncle Simon was buried in a rented tux and his father has to pay $15 a month as a result.  Woodman finds the joke to be hilarious and laughs so much that even Gabe starts to get nervous.

This episode, which you’ve already guessed was a parody of Network, had its moments.  Gabe is barely in this sone but I did enjoy his take on Ned Beatty’s famous monologue.  And any episode that features a lot of Woodman is going to be enjoyable because John Sylvester White was always delightfully unhinged in the role.  In the end, how one reacts to this episode will depend on how much tolerance one has for Ron Pallilo’s performance as Arnold Horshack.  By the time the third season came around, Pallilo’s performance in the role had gone from eccentric to cartoonish and a little of Horshack tended to be a lot.  Personally, I think Epstein should have been this episode’s Howard Beale.  That said, I chuckled quite a bit while watching this episode.  It was certainly better than the radio station episodes of Saved By The Bell.

Next week, Gabe freaks out when the Sweathogs are taught by a computer!  A.I. has been around a lot longer than I thought.