Made-for-TV Movie Review: Nightmare in Chicago (dir by Robert Altman)


Taking place over the course of one very long day and night in December, this 1964 made-for-television movie opens with the discovery of a murdered woman in Indiana.  She is the latest victim of a killer that the press has nicknamed “Georgie Porgie.”

Georgie Porgie, who has killed five blondes in the Midwest, is actually a nondescript man named Myron Ellis (Philip Abbott).  Myron is middle-aged, short, and fairly normal-looking.  That, along with the fact that he’s always moving, is one reason why he has yet to be captured.  The only thing that really stands out about Myron is that, due to a medical condition, he is extremely sensitive to light and always wears dark glasses, even at night.  When Myron isn’t murdering someone or stealing a car, he’s haunted by the voice of his dead sister.

Because he is a nomadic killer, the authorities in Chicago are worried that Myron is coming to their town next and it turns out that they’re correct.  Myron is already in Chicago and he’s looking for his next victim.  In a rather disturbing scene, he strangles a woman that he meets at a strip club, managing to do so without any of the many people around them even noticing.  Myron wanders up and down the streets of Chicago, looking for his next victim.  With his polite manners and his bland appearance, no one suspects that the polite man on the street corner is actually a murderer.

Police Commissioner Lombardo (Ted Knight) and Detectives McVea (Robert Ridgley) and Brockman (Charles McGraw) decide that the best way to catch the killer would be to set up a dragnet on the highway, stopping cars and shining flashlights at the drivers to see who has the weakest eyes.  The only problem is that there is also a nuclear missile convoy scheduled to move through the city at the same time.  With the highways congested and the killer not above wrecking his own car to throw the police off his trail, Lombardo tries to both capture the killer and make sure nothing happens to the convoy.

Nightmare In Chicago is a short and efficient thriller.  It’s well-acted and rather serious in its approach.  Especially when compared to more recent films with similar plots, Nightmare In Chicago deserves some credit for not trying to turn its serial killer into some sort of diabolical mad genius.  Myron, like all serial killers in real life, is a maladjusted and rather stupid person who has only gotten away with his crimes due to pure luck.  He’s not a Hannibal Lecter-style supergenius.  Instead, he’s just a creep who has many, many issues.  The film also does a good job of capturing the manic energy and eventual exhaustion of pulling an all-nighter.  It’s an effective little film with a memorably sordid story.

For modern audiences, probably the most interesting thing about Nightmare in Chicago is that it was directed by Robert Altman and was, in fact, his second non-documentary film after The Delinquents.  At the time he made this film, Altman was largely working in television.  Nightmare In Chicago was one of the first made-for-TV movies and it was a ratings and critical success.  Seen today, it’s easy to spot Altman’s trademark attention to detail in the film.  While it’s far more straight-forward than the majority of his feature films, Nightmare in Chicago still displays the talent that eventually led to Robert Altman become one of Americas most important filmmakers.

Retro Television Review: Dance ‘Til Dawn (dir by Paul Schneider)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1988’s Dance ‘Til Dawn!  It  can be viewed on YouTube.

It’s prom time and the seniors at Herbert Hoover High School are excited!  Patrice Johnson (Christina Applegate) is especially excited because not only did she organize the prom but she’s also the leading  contender to be elected prom queen.  She’s looking forward to having a wonderful night with her boyfriend, Roger (Matthew Perry).

Patrice is especially excited because her only real competition for prom queen, Shelley (Alyssa Milano), has broken up with her jock boyfriend, Kevin (Brian Bloom).  Shelley has declared that she will instead be attending a very mature and very fun college fraternity party.  Meanwhile, Kevin will be attending prom but he will be coming with Angela (Tracey Gold), who has a reputation for being a bit nerdy.  Kevin only asked Angela to prom because he was under the false impression that she’s easy but he soon finds himself falling for her for real.

Meanwhile, Shelley doesn’t really have a party to attend.  Instead, she decides to spend prom night avoiding her friends and watching an old movie at the town’s movie theater.  Shelley is convinced that no one from school will be at the theater.  Instead, she runs into nerdy Dan (Chris Young), who also came to the theater because he didn’t have a prom date.  Dan and Shelley end up having a fun time hanging out together.

While this is going on, all of the parents are having dramas of their own.  Patrice’s embarrassing parents (Cliff de Young and Mary Frann) relive their own youth.  Dan’s father (Alan Thicke) is convinced that Dan is not only the most popular kid at school but that Dan is also having a wonderful prom.  And Angela’s parents (Edie McClurg and Kelsey Grammer) are so paranoid about the idea of Kevin trying to sleep with their daughter that they actually sneak into the prom to try to keep them from getting too close.  Of course, they are mistaken for waiters and are immediately put to work.

I watched this two weeks ago, when I was still struggling to process the shock of Matthew Perry’s passing.  Unfortunately, Matthew Perry is not in much of the film and it’s not really until the end of the film that he really gets a chance to show any of the sardonic wit for which he was best known.  That said, Christina Applegate appears to be having fun as the snooty mean girl and she and Perry do make for a cute couple.  Actually, all of the couples in the film are cute, with Alyssa Milano and Chris Young especially making for an adorable couple.  This is a pleasant and, for many, nostalgic diversion, as long as you’re willing to accept that there is absolutely nothing go on beneath the film’s slick and occasionally colorful surface.  The humor is broad, the messages are obvious, and, as always, it’s amusing to watch Kelsey Grammer running around in a panic.

Dance Til Dawn doesn’t really bring anything new to the high school genre but it’s still worthy of the name of Herbert Hoover.

Horror on TV: The Hitchhiker 6.19 “Secrets” (dir by Jacques Richard)


On tonight’s episode of The Hitchhiker, a woman and her lover attempt to collect her husband’s health insurance after his death.  Unfortunately, for them, her husband might have something to say about that.

This episode originally aired on February 15th, 1991.

Retro Television Reviews: Gidget’s Summer Reunion (dir by Bruce Bilson)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1985’s Gidget’s Summer Reunion!  It  can be viewed on Tubi!

Back in the 1970s, when the rest of the country was worrying about political corruption, inflation, and an out-of-touch president with an embarrassing family, Gidget, Jeff, and their friends were carefree California teenagers who spent all of their time either hanging out on the beach or running into the ocean with a surfboard.  It was a time when they had not a care in the world and, obviously, it couldn’t last forever.

Nearly 10 years later, Gidget (Caryn Richman) and Jeff (Dean Butler) are now married and their surfboards have been safely stored away in the garage.  Jeff works as an architect and it’s obvious that his new boss, Anne (Mary Frann), wants to make their professional relationship into something personal.  Gidget, meanwhile, owns her own travel agency and, apparently, it’s a success even though Gidget rarely seems to spend much time at the office.  Gidget is hyperactive and a bit self-absorbed and, as such, she usually only shows up at work long enough to tell her employees about her latest problems before then running out of the office in an impulsive attempt to fix everything.

What problems do Gidget and Jeff have?  Well, for one thing, they live in a giant house despite the fact that they’re nearly broke.  They’re both workaholics and, as a result, they don’t spend as much time together as they used to.  They got married and then they became strangers.  It’s been years since they last went down to the beach.  When Gidget’s niece, Kim (Allison Barron), wants to learn how to surf, it doesn’t even occur to her to ask her aunt or her uncle.  Instead, she ends up hanging out with a sleazy, beer-drinking surfer named Mickey (Vincent Van Patten).  

Fear not!  Gidget has a plan!  Jeff’s birthday is coming up and Gidget decides that it would be a great idea to use her travel agent powers to get the entire gang back together again.  She wants to bring all of the old surfers back to help celebrate Jeff’s big day.  The only problem is that the old gang isn’t entirely easy to find.  Plus, one of Gidget’s tour guides has to drop out of leading a tour in Hawaii.  Gidget is forced to go in his place.  Can she get back from Hawaii in time to save Jeff from Anne and  Kim from Mickey?  And even more importantly, will she ever be able to track down the old gang?  Will the movie end with a bunch of balding guys surfing while the Beach Boys play on the soundtrack?  Can you guess the answer?  

The best thing that can be said about Gidget’s Summer Reunion is that the beach looked nice and the Hawaii scenes reminded me of the wonderful summer that my family and I spent in Hawaii.  And the film is correct when it points out that adulthood is never as easy as we expected it to be when we were teenagers.  However, the film suffers from the fact that a lot of Gidget’s problems could have been solved by Gidget actually taking a few minutes to think before acting.  It’s one thing to be free-spirited and impulsive.  It’s another thing to totally lack common sense.  For instance, Gidget and Jeff’s old surfboards are stolen out of the back of Gidget’s convertible and, while you can certainly feel bad for Gidget’s loss, you do have to wonder what she was expecting when she basically just left them out in the open, where anyone could get their hands on them.  Jeff isn’t off the hook either, as it was pretty much obvious to everyone but him that Anne was trying to get him to cheat on his wife.  Gidget and Jeff are a cute couple but they don’t seem to have a brain cell between them.

Oh well.  At least the beach looked nice!

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 1.4 “Family Reunion/Voodoo”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1996.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Smiles, everyone!  We have two very strange fantasies this week and a few memorable guest stars!

Episode 1.4 “Family Reunion/Voodoo”

(Directed by George McGowan, originally aired on February 18th, 1978)

Finally!  After four weeks of trying to figure out how exactly the island works, I finally watched an episode that explained what Tattoo’s actual job is.  Apparently, Tattoo is an accountant.  It’s his job to keep track of how much money the island has in its treasury and to order stuff for the resort.  It’s also his job to rent things for the fantasies.  This episode, he mentions that it’s not cheap to rent a bear.  Mr. Roarke gives him a slightly disapproving look but no matter.  Tattoo’s correct.  Bears are not cheap.

As for the fantasies, they’re both kind of strange in this episode.

The more peaceful of the fantasies involves Tony (Tom Fridley) and Ann (Kathy Kurtzman) and their desire for their parents, Harry (John Gavin) and Evelyne (Juliet Mills), to get back together.  The fantasy involves tricking Harry and Evelyne into returning to the summer camp where they first met and having them fall in love all over again.  (Yes, it’s The Parent Trap, all over again.)  Unfortunately, Harry and Evelyne are accompanied by their new significant others, Stuffy McBorington (David Hedison) and Slutty LaGolddigger (Mary Frann.)  Actually, I guess those weren’t really their names but they might as well have been.  Fortunately a sudden rain storm and a visit from the expensive bear convinces Harry and Evelyne to dump Stuffy and Slutty and give love another chance.  Yay!

Meanwhile, on the other side of the island, Mr. Roarke has recreated a Haitian rubber plantation!  Jane Howell (Lauren Tewes, who I’ve also been watching on The Love Boat) is an amnesiac who might be the daughter of the plantation’s owner.  She, her adoptive parents (Howard Duff and Marjorie Lord), and her fiancé (Gary Collins) spend the night at the plantation.  However, it turns out that they’re not alone.  Mr. Roarke has also brought over a voodoo priest (Ernie Hudson!) who is determined to drive Jane mad!  It’s a really weird story that ends with not one twist but two.  It’s also an effectively creepy story, which makes it all the stranger that it’s paired with a light-hearted Parent Trap homage.

To me, the most interesting thing about this episode is that so many of the guest stars were veterans of the horror (or at least, the supernatural) genre.  The Family Reunion storyline features Juliet Mills (Beyond The Door), David Hedison (The Fly), and John Gavin (Psycho).  (Interestingly enough, David Hedison played Felix Leiter in two James Bond films while Gavin would have played Bond in Diamonds are Forever if Sean Connery hadn’t agreed to return to the role.)  Meanwhile, Voodoo features Lauren Tewes (who appeared in Eyes of a Stranger and Twin Peaks: The Return) and Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters).  It’s an interesting mix of actors and it’s fun to see them all wandering around the island at the same time.

I enjoyed this episode.  Family Reunion was agreeably silly while Voodoo was creepy and melodramatic.  Add to that, Ricardo Montalban seemed to be having a genuinely good time as the mysterious Mr. Roarke.  He made the island seem like a fun place to visit, even with the bears and the voodoo hijinks.

Next week, more fantasies!  And more smiles!

A Movie A Day #111: I’m Dangerous Tonight (1990, directed by Tobe Hooper)


Sweet and repressed Amy (Madchen Amick) is a college student who has too much on her plate.  She has to take care of her greedy grandmother (Natalie Schaefer, of Gilligan’s Island fame).  She has to read a book for her study partner (Corey Parker).  She has to sew a dress for her older sister, Gloria (Daisy Hall).  She has to find props for the school play.  It is her search for props that leads to her buying an old chest at an estate sale.  Inside the chest is a red cloak.  Amy turns the red cloak into a dress but what she does not know is that the red cloak was previously won by Aztec priests while they conducted human sacrifices.  As Professor Buchanan (Anthony Perkins) later explains, anyone who wears the dress will be driven to do evil.

Like Hitler’s Daughter and Deadly Game, I’m Dangerous Tonight was a USA original film.  Like those two films, and despite the combined talents of the star of Psycho and the director of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I’m Dangerous Tonight is not very good. Perkins is mostly just used for exposition while Hooper’s direction suggests that his main concern was picking up his paycheck.  I’m Dangerous Tonight will be best appreciated by fans of Madchen Amick.  Amick is not only beautiful here but she also plays a character far different from Twin Peaks’s Shelly Johnson.

Also, be sure to keep an eye out for R. Lee Ermey, playing a tough, cigar-chomping police detective as only he can.

Horror On TV: Darkroom Season 1 Episode 1&2 “Closed Circuit/Stay Tuned, We’ll Be Right Back” (dir by Rick Rosenthal and Paul Lynch)


While I was looking through YouTube for TV shows to use for this year’s horrorthon, I came across something called Darkroom.  Apparently, Darkroom was a horror anthology series that aired for a few months in 1981.

So, I figured, why not share!

(Apparently, each episode of Darkroom was made up of two thirty-minute stories.  For syndication purposes, it appears that the each 30 minute segment was considered to be a separate episode.)

Below is the first episode of Darkroom!  It originally aired on Nov. 27th, 1981.  In Closed Circuit, an aging anchorman discovers that he’s about to be replaced by a computer.  In Stay Turned, We’ll Be Right Back, a man discovers that his radio can be used to contact the past and must decide whether or not to change history.  The show is introduced and hosted by James Coburn.

Closed Circuit was directed by Rick Rosenthal, who directed Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween II.  Stay Tuned is directed by Paul Lynch, who directed Jamie Lee Curtis in Prom Night.

Enjoy!