What Lisa Watched Last Night #179: Fiance Killer (dir by Fred Olen Ray)

Posted on April 29, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I turned over to the Lifetime Movie Network and watched the latest Lifetime movie, Fiance Killer!

Why Was I Watching It?

It was on Lifetime! By now, y’all should know that I’ll watch anything that’s on Lifetime!

What Was It About?

So, Cameron (Felisha Cooper) is about to be very, very rich. As soon as she turns 25, she’ll be coming into a huge inheritance! On top of that, Cameron also has a new boyfriend. His name is Brent (Adam Huss) and he runs a non-profit! Or, at least, that’s what he says. Cameron’s mother (Kari Wuhrer) doesn’t trust him. In fact, she does a background check on him and comes away convinced that Brent is only interesting in Cameron’s money. Of course, Cameron doesn’t believe that. In fact, Cameron is so offended by her mother’s paranoia that she elopes with Brent!

Except, of course, mom is right. Brent is after Cameron’s money. Of course, Brent doesn’t really have it in him to commit murder. However, his girlfriend, Lexi (Jean Louise O’Sullivan), definitely does…

What Worked?

Lexi is one of my favorite characters of all time! Seriously, she must have undergone ninja training at some point because she could seriously just pop up anywhere. Someone gets in a car and there’s Lexi in the back seat! Someone goes down to the kitchen and there’s Lexi hiding behind the refrigerator. My favorite thing about Lexi was that, for all of the intricate plotting that went into her scheme, she didn’t really seem to care whether it actually worked or not. Lexi was an agent of pure chaos, less a schemer and more a revolutionary. Jean Louise O’Sullivan had a lot of fun with the role.

What Did Not Work?

Obviously, with any Lifetime film, you’re going to have to suspend your disbelief to a certain extent but seriously, Cameron was occasionally too naive to be believed. Maybe if she had been 18, I could have bought that she wouldn’t be able to see through Brent and his schemes. But, by the time you turn 25, you really should know better.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Obviously, it would have been nice if I could have related to Cameron, who was a very nice person and always tried to do the best for everyone. But, honestly, I could never do the whole eloping thing. When I do get married, it’s going to be a huge wedding and I’m going to expect a lot of expensive gifts. As well, I couldn’t ever marry someone who worked for a “non-profit” because bragging about working for a company that doesn’t make a profit just seems strange to me.

So, that pretty much left with me with little choice but to relate to Lexi. Unfortunately, Lexi killed people and I’m not really into that either. However, I do enjoy making a scene so I guess Lexi and I had that in common.

Lessons Learned

I should sign up for ninja training as soon as possible. Admittedly, I might not be a very good ninja and I’m not really sure if there’s much ninja work available where I live but I’d still love to learn how to just pop up anywhere whenever I wanted to. That seems like that could be a valuable skill to have.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #178: Evil Doctor (dir by Brian Skiba)

Posted on April 10, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Sunday night, immediately after watching Twin Betrayal, I watched and, working with TSL contributor Case Wright, live tweeted a film called Evil Doctor!

Why Was I Watching It?

The first reason was an obvious one. It was a Lifetime movie and, as our regular readers know, there’s no way that I would ever miss the chance to watch a Lifetime film.

The other reason was that the film was named Evil Doctor, which made it sound like the origin story of perhaps the greatest MCU villain of all time. As a general rule, any Lifetime film that has the word “evil” in the title is going to turn out to be good. Evil is right up there with “Bad,” “Confessions,” and “…at 17” as far as words in Lifetime movie titles are concerned.

What Was It About?

Everyone wants something.

Aubrey Lewis (Jen Lilley) just wants to have her baby in peace.

Aubrey’s husband, Matt (Corin Nemec), wants to be a respected television writer, even if he is stuck writing for a sitcom called Family Phun.

And what does Dr. Natalie Barnes (Dina Meyer) want? She wants to have a baby and she wants a baby now! She also wants to deal with all of the unresolved issues that she had with her dead father, who happened to look just like Matt! What better solution to Natalie’s problems than seduce Matt, steal Aubrey’s baby, and kill anyone who gets in her way?

Seriously, she’s not called an evil doctor for nothing.

What Worked?

Obviously, with a film like this, success is going to depend on how effectively the title character is played. Fortunately, Dina Meyer really threw herself into the role of the evil doctor, kidnapping babies, seducing starlets, and murdering anyone who looked at her the wrong way. Dina Meyer has always done a good job when she’s been cast as a Lifetime movie psycho and Evil Doctor was no different. As well, Corin Nemec and Jen Lilley were likable as the objects of her obsession.

Evil Doctor was one of those Lifetime films that showed no hesitation about going totally and completely over-the-top. Between the evil doctor plotting and the wayward husband trying not to get caught and the poor wife just trying to have her baby in peace, there was not one ounce of drama that this film did not explore. It was outlandish, flamboyant, silly, and a hell of a lot fun!

What Did Not Work?

I think that the film missed a huge opportunity by not recruiting Eric Roberts to reprise his character from Stalked By My Doctor in a cameo appearance. I would have ended the film with Matt and Aubrey going to see their new doctor and discovering Dr. Beck waiting for them in his office. That would have been a legendary ending!

(For the record, according to the imdb, Eric Roberts currently has 57 films that are either currently filming or in post-production. That has nothing to do with Evil Doctor but it is a fun piece of trivia.)

Other than the glaring lack of Eric Roberts, everything worked in Evil Doctor. I mean, let’s be honest. When you watch a film with a title like Evil Doctor, you know what you’re going to get. You watch a film like this because you want to embrace the melodrama and you’re looking forward to trying to predict every outlandish twist. Evil Doctor delivered exactly what it promised.

“Oh my God! Just Like Me!” Moments

I totally related to Janelle (Kelsey Griswold), who was Aubrey’s sister and who moved in to help around the house while Aubrey was pregnant. Janelle had this wonderfully sarcastic, no-bullshit approach to life, to which I totally related. Janelle disliked almost everyone who came by the house and never made any attempt to hide that fact.

Lessons Learned

Always trust your sister’s instincts.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #177: Twin Betrayal (dir by Nadeem Soumah)

Posted on April 9, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Sunday night, I watched the latest Lifetime premiere, Twin Betrayal!

Why Was I Watching It?

The obvious answer is that it was on Lifetime. However, I also have a weakness for films about evil twins. Don’t ask me why, I just do.

What Was It About?

Poor Jessica Klint (Jen Lilley)! Not only is she struggling financially but her estranged husband (Peter Douglas) wants custody of their daughter. We know her husband is a bad guy because he wears a suit even when he’s at home and his name is Lars. Never in a Lifetime film has anyone good been named Lars. (Before anyone mentions Lars and the Real Girl, allow me to point out that 1) that’s not a Lifetime film and 2) even if it was, it would be the exception to the rule.)

However, following a business trip to Dallas, Jessica’s problems get even worse! After having a one-night stand with a cowboy named Henry (Nick Ballard), Jessica finds herself being blackmailed! Where can she get the money? Her wealthy father isn’t going to be much help. How about from her twin sister, Alessandra (Jen Lilley)? Sure, Jessica and Alessandra have a strained relationship and haven’t spoken in years but surely one twin will help the other, right?

And surely, no matter what personal issues there may be, one twin would definitely never try to frame the other for murder, right?

Right?

Watch the film to find out!

What Worked?

I enjoyed this one because, as any film about a twin betrayal should be, it was totally melodramatic, over-the-top, and very self-aware. Whenever I give a film like this a good review, I always seem to get at least one comment from someone complaining that the film was too silly or implausible but I think those people are missing the point. You don’t watch a film like Twin Betrayal because you want to see a serious exploration of what it’s like to be a twin. You watch a movie like this because you want to have fun! Twin Betrayal promised twisty entertainment and it delivered and, in the end, that’s all that really matters.

Jen Lilley obviously had a blast playing the twins, especially the wonderfully decadent Alessandra. Alessandra had obviously been waiting for years for the chance to make her sister uncomfortable and she did not let the opportunity pass her by.

What Did Not Work?

On the one hand, I was really happy that part of the film took place in Dallas. I don’t know if they actually filmed in Dallas but, at the very least, they at least included a shot of the Dallas skyline. (Whenever a movie spends any time in Dallas, you always know that you’re going to get at least one shot of Reunion Tower and one shot of Bank of America Plaza.) However, in reality, it’s doubtful that Jessica would have met any cowboys in Dallas. Football aside, cowboys are really more of a Fort Worth thing.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Much like Jessica Klint, I have a weakness for cowboys. Seriously, who doesn’t? I’m also close to my sisters but, fortunately, none of us are twins. If there’s anything that I’ve learned from watching Lifetime films, it’s that you can always depend on your sister unless she’s your twin sister. Sadly, there’s always one evil twin and it seems like the good twin always ends up getting framed. Hopefully, Lifetime will continue to explore this theme whenever they get around to making the inevitable Mary-Kate and Ashley biopic.

Actually, I guess if I was a twin, I probably would end up being the evil one. Seriously, it just seems like it would be too much of a temptation to resist…

Lessons Learned

As I stated above, one twin will always be evil. The trick is figuring out which one.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #176: Bad Tutor (dir by Jeff Hare)

Posted on March 4, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime film, Bad Tutor!

Why Was I Watching It?

After you watch enough Lifetime films, you come to learn a few things. For instance, any film that’s called Bad Something is probably going to be worth watching. Over the years, there have been Bad Students, Bad Teachers, Bad Doctors, Bad Husbands, Bad Assistants, and Bad Realtors. Really, it was only a matter of time until they got around to a Bad Tutor.

(My hope is that they will follow this up with a film called Bad Tudor, just because I assume all sorts of crazy stuff was going on with the court of Henry VIII.)

What Was It About?

It’s a simple film about three people who have hopes and problems.

For instance, Kelly (Vanessa Marcil) is a widow who is hoping to find a new husband but who also has a rebellious teenage daughter.

Emily (Alex Frnka) is Kelly’s daughter. She hopes to become a famous singer but first, she has to pass her chemistry midterm. When the movie starts, she’s currently on the road to getting a D in that class. Emily says that people are going to be too busy responding to her music to care if she passed chemistry. Kelly worries that Emily won’t be able to get into a good college with that D following her around.

Devon (Charles Hittinger) is a chemist who claims to be a former teacher. Devon hopes that he’ll be able to get Emily to fall in love with him, largely because Emily looks just like his dead girlfriend. Devon’s problem is that he’s batshit insane and the only reason his girlfriend is dead is because he pushed her off of a cliff.

When Kelly meets Devon, she decides that he would be the perfect tutor for Emily. Little does she suspect that Devon is actually … a bad tutor!

What Worked?

Vanessa Marcil gave a pretty good performance as Kelly. I liked the fact that, as opposed to the typical perfect Lifetime mother, Kelly not only made mistakes but also owned up to them.

The film’s opening, which started with Devon proposing to his girlfriend and ended with him pushing her off of a cliff, was well-handled.

What Did Not Work?

Here’s the thing: when it comes to Lifetime movies, we all agree, to an extent, to suspend our disbelief. We accept the fact that characters will sometimes act stupidly and we try not to hold that against them.

But, sometimes, you run into a character who is just so utterly stupid that, try as you may, you just can’t forgive them. That was the case with Emily in Bad Tutor. Not only was Emily something of a spoiled brat but she also turned out to be amazingly gullible. After spending the first half of the movie making fun of the nerdy Devon, Emily changed her tune when Devon claimed to have a friend in the recording industry. Never did Emily ask for any proof or anything. Instead, she just ran away from home with Devon. Looking over her actions, I have to say I’m surprised that she was only failing one class.

Finally, Emily did sing a few times and … well, let’s just hope that she gets into a good college.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I related to Emily, largely because I too was a rebellious teenager who couldn’t sing.

Lessons Learned

I didn’t learn anything because he was a bad tutor.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #175: Devious Nanny (dir by Devon Downs and Kenny Gage)

Posted on March 3, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I turned over to the Lifetime Movie Network and I watched Devious Nanny!

Why Was I Watching It?

I’ve got a long history with Lifetime nanny films. I’ve watched films about Bad Nannys, Betrayed Nannys, Nightmare Nannys, Evil Nannys, Killer Nannys, and Dangerous Nannys. So, how could I resist something called Devious Nanny?

(Actually, it was apparently also called both The Nanny Betrayal and The Au Pair. Devious Nanny, though is an improvement on both of those.)

What Was It About?

Elise (Michelle Borth) and Brian (Antonio Cupo) have it all. Elise works at an art gallery. Brian works in … well, I think it was advertising but I could be wrong. All I know is that he worked in an office and he was worried about landing a big account and he wore a suit to work. Isn’t that what they do in advertising? Anyway, it’s a good job. Brian and Elise have a nice house and an adorable son. All they need to complete the picture is … an au pair!

Enter Amber (Olesya Rulin), who appears to be the perfect nanny. She loves kids and she’s even okay with cleaning up around the house! Of course, Amber did lie a little to get her job. And she didn’t tell her new employers that she grew up in the foster system and that she has a history of mental instability. Soon, Brian and Amber are exchanging lustful glances and people are turning up dead.

But here’s the thing. I’ve seen enough killer nanny films that I immediately realized that it was probably significant that the film never actually showed Amber killing anyone. So, is Amber the murderer or is it someone else? The film is full of suspects!

What Worked?

It all worked. This was the type of Lifetime movie that made me fall in love with the unique Lifetime aesthetic in the first place. Well-acted and full of snarky lines, Devious Nanny also featured a rather clever last-minute plot twist. The end of the film also features a line of dialogue that is perhaps the coldest sentiment over to be offered up in a Lifetime film.

Needless to say, this was a fun movie to live tweet. Those of us on twitter last night had a blast trying to figure out who the killer was and who was going to be the next victim.

All in all, it was a very entertaining movie.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked! At first, I was worried that the film would turn out to be just another Lifetime Nanny film but the script, by Adam Rockoff, was full of unexpected plot twists. I’m going to guess that Rockoff has seen enough nanny films that he knew exactly what most people would be expecting and he very skillfully manipulated those expectations.

In fact, my only issue is that Lifetime aired this on Friday night and it didn’t really seem like they made much of an effort to publicize it. Sometimes, I think Lifetime doesn’t truly understand just how many people love watching their movies. They’ll promote the Hell out of some forgettable (and often regrettable) celebrity biopic but entertaining thrillers, like this one, rarely get the fanfare that they deserve.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I’ve been lucky, in that I’ve never had to work as an au pair. I’ve also never been suspected of murder. I guess I’ve just lived a sheltered life. However, if any of that did happen to me, I would hope, when it was all over, that I could be as snarky about it as Amber.

Lessons Learned

Life’s not easy when you’re a nanny.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #174: Cocaine Godmother (dir by Guillermo Navarro)

Posted on January 21, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the Lifetime gangster epic, Cocaine Godmother!

Why Was I Watching It?

You can find the answer in this review’s opening sentence. Cocaine Godmother was a gangster epic that was made for Lifetime! How insane is that!

Add to that, the life of Griselda Blanco has, as of late, become a very popular subject matter. Ever since everyone went crazy over a documentary called Cocaine Cowboys, there have been Griselda films in development. Though Cocaine Godmother may have been the first to premiere, HBO has a film coming out starring Jennifer Lopez as Griselda. There’s also another film in development, one which will star Catalina Sandino Morena as the Godmother. Apparently, 2018 is going to be the year of Griselda.

What Was It About?

The film follows Griselda Blanco (played, as an adult, by Catherine Zeta-Jones), from her youth all the way to her assassination in 2012. Griselda grows up in horrific poverty in Colombia, pimped out by her own mother and committing her first murder when a man refuses to pay her. Griselda tries to escape through a conventional marriage but, when that doesn’t work out, she marries a series of drug smugglers and soon proves herself to be just as ruthless and violent as any of her male rivals. When she’s not snorting cocaine, she’s murdering husbands, mistresses, and even children. It’s tempting to say that Griselda’s only redemption is to be found in the love she feels for her sons and for Carolina (Jenny Pellicer) but, actually, there is no redemption for anyone in this movie. From beginning to end, everyone’s terrible.

What Worked?

Somehow, the entire film worked. You don’t necessarily expect to see an effective and violent gangster film on Lifetime but somehow, Cocaine Godmother pulled it off.

Two things held this film together. One was Catherine Zeta-Jones’s performance as Griselda Blanco. Whether she was casually snorting cocaine on an airplane, explaining why children have to be killed along with their parents, or gunning down one of her husbands, Zeta-Jones was never less than compelling.

Secondly, there was Guillermo Navarro’s direction, which never allowed the pace to slacken. For a two hour and thirty minute film, Cocaine Godmother was mercifully free of slow spots. Considering that he was working under the restraints of television, Navarro did a great job bringing Girselda’s story to life.

What Did Not Work?

I was a little worried when I first heard the narrator. Narrators are usually a sign of doom in a Lifetime movie and there were a few times when the narration got a bit too obvious. That said, it was only a minor issue. For the most part, the entire film worked.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Griselda may have been a terrible person but she had great tastes in movies. For instance, we both appreciate The Godfather films. That said, unlike Griselda, I probably wouldn’t name my son after Michael Corleone. I’d be more likely to name him after Tom Hagan because Tom made all the money but he never had to shoot anyone.

Lessons Learned

Don’t get high on your own supply.

2017 in Review: The Best of Lifetime

Posted on January 17, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, I continue my look back at the previous year with my picks for the best of Lifetime in 2017! Below, you’ll find my nominations for the best Lifetime films and performances of 2017! Winners are starred and listed in bold!

(As a guide, I used the credits for the imdb. If anyone has been miscredited or let out, please feel free to let me know and I’ll fix the error both here and, if I can, on the imdb as well.)

Best Picture

Drink Slay Love, produced by Tina Pehme, Kim Roberts, Sheri Singer, Bella Thorne

From Straight A’s to XXX, produced by Austin Andrews, John Bolton, Anne-Marie Hess, Tina Pehme, Kim Roberts, Sheri Singer

Four Christmases and a Wedding

New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell, produced by Deen Dioria, David Manzanares, Ron Schmidt, Judith Verno, Frank von Zerneck.

The Rachels, produced by Paige Lauren Billot, Margaret H. Huddleston, Maggie McFarren, Hannah Pillemer, Rebecca G. Stone.

Running Away, produced by Dureyshevar, Jeff Faehnle, Jack Nasser, Jacob Nasser, Joseph Nasser, Bri Noble.

Sea Change. Produced by Sharon Bordas, Alec Chorches, Adam Fratto, Steven Gilder, David MacLeod, A.J. Mendez, Shawn Piller, Lloyd Segan, Stephanie Slack, Fernando Szew

Secrets in Suburbia, produced by Kristopher McNeeley, Jacobo Rispa, Damian Romay, Stephanie Slack, Fernando Szew.

The Watcher in the Woods, produced by Simon Barnes, Alexandra Bentley, Andrew Gernhard, Jennifer Handorf, Paula Hart.

* Web Cam Girls, produced by Tom Berry, Pierre David, Hank Grover, Sheri Reeves, Ken Sanders, Noel Zanitsch*

Best Director

* Doug Campbell for Web Cam Girls

Michael Civille for The Rachels

Vanessa Parise for From Straight A’s to XXX

Damian Romay for Secrets in Suburbia

Brian Skiba for Running Away

Stephen Tolkin for New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell

Best Actor

James Franco in High School Lover

Zack Gold in Psycho Brother-in-Law

Stephen Graybill in Web Cam Girls

Timothy Granderos in The Twin

Ted McGinley in Fatherly Obsession

* Ryan Patrick Shanahan in Sinister Minister

Best Actress

Barbie Castro in Boyfriend Killer

Holly Deveaux in Running Away

Sedonna Legge in Web Cam Girls

* Penelope Ann Miller in New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell

Heather Morris in Psycho Wedding Crasher

Haley Pullos in From Straight A’s to XXX

Best Supporting Actor

Francois Arnaud in High School Lover

Joe Hackett in Web Cam Girls’

William McNamara in Running Away

Patrick Muldoon in Boyfriend Killer

Judd Nelson in From Straight A’s to XXX

* Daniel Roebuck in New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell

Best Supporting Actress

Madison Iseman in The Rachels

Anjelica Huston in The Watcher in the Woods

* Tonya Kay in Web Cam Girls

Paula Trickey in Running Away

Ashley Wood in Wicked Mom’s Club

Lorynn York in Web Cam Girs

Best Screenplay

From Straight A’s to XXX. Anne-Marie Hess.

New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell. Stephen Tolkin.

The Rachels. Ellen Huggins.

* Running Away. Sheri McGuinn.

Secrets in Suburbia. Damian Romay.

Web Cam Girls. Stephen Romano.

Best Cinematography

Drink Slay Love. Vic Sarin.

Four Christmases and a Wedding. Mike Kam.

Off the Rails. Denis Maloney.

Running Away. Patrice Lucien Cochet.

* Sea Change. Jackson Parrell.

Ten: Murder Island. Richard Clabaugh.

Best Costuming

* Drink Slay Love. Liene Dobraja.

From Straight A’s to XXX. Liene Dobraja.

The Lost Wife of Robert Durst. Tina Fiorda.

New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell. Maria Bentfield.

The Rachels. Courtney Stern.

Stage Fright. Monique Hyman.

Best Editing

* From Straight A’s to XXX. Rob Grant.

Four Christmases and a Wedding. Paul Ziller.

New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell. Mark Stevens.

The Rachels. Brett Solem.

Sea Change. Matthew Anas.

Web Cam Girls. Jordan Jensen.

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Drink Slay Love. Jessica Green, Catherine Long, Alysha McLoughlin, Sahar Sharelo.

The Lost Wife of Robert Durst. Lorna Bravo, Kelly Grange, Shelly Jensen, Mary Renvall, Melissa Sahlstrom.

* New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell. Claudia Breckenridge, Daniel Casillas, Nicole Gabaldon, Pepper J. Gallegos, Madeline McCue, L. Taylor Roberts

The Rachels. Taylor Bennett, Austin Cuccia.

Secrets in Suburbia. Andrea Ahl, Trevor Thompson

The Watcher in the Woods. Chloe Edwards.

Best Score

Drink Slay Love. Justin R. Durban

Fatherly Obsession. Aiko Fukushima.

Sea Change. Shawn Pierce.

* Story of a Girl. Travis Bacon.

Ten: Murder Island. Ceiri Torjussen.

The Watcher in the Woods. Felix Bird.

Best Production Design

New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell. Will Albarz, Anthony Medina.

Running Away. Vincent Albo, Rose Beltran

Secrets in Suburbia. Brendan Turrill.

Ten: Murder Island. Eric Whitney, Caley Bisson.

Tiny House of Terror

* Web Cam Girls. Catch Henson, James W. Thompson Jr., Katherine Bulovic, Valerie Munguia

Best Sound

Britney Ever After

Drink Slay Love

From Straight A’s to XXX

Sea Change.

Under the Bed

* The Watcher in the Woods

Best Visual Effects

The Watcher in the Woods

And there you have it! Those are my picks for the best of Lifetime in 2017! Thank you for your indulgence! On Friday, I’ll be concluding my look back at 2017 with my picks for the 26 best films of the year!

Previous entries in the TSL’s Look Back at 2017:

Cleaning Out The DVR: Sea Change (dir by Chris Grismer)

Posted on January 17, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 162 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Sea Change off of Lifetime on September 17th, 2017! Incidentally, Sea Change was the final 2017 Lifetime movie that I had sitting on my DVR. I have now watched and reviewed all of the Lifetime films that I recorded in 2017!)

Based on the novel by Aimee Friedman, Sea Change tells the story of Miranda and T.J.

Miranda (Emily Rudd) is a fiercely intelligent and independent teenager who, having lost her father, is spending the summer on an island with the mother (Maria Drizzia) that she barely knows. It’s a beautiful island, one that is very popular with rich vacationers, the majority of whom have spoiled children. It’s a struggle for Miranda to fit in. She has deeper interests than just popularity and money. Add to that, she doesn’t swim. With everyone on the island obsessed with getting in the water, Mirana is stuck on the land.

T.J. (Keenan Tracy) lives on the island year-round. His family is not rich. T.J. works for a living and he’s not going to let anyone push him around just because they happen to have more money than he does. When Miranda first sees T.J. she notices his scars. When she sees him a second time, the scars have disappeared. When Miranda falls into the water, T.J. saves her from drowning. T.J. claims that he just dived after her but Miranda gets the feeling that there’s something more to it, almost as if he was already in the water when she fell in. When he grabbed her underwater and led her back to the surface, there was something different about his eyes…

Could it have anything to do with the legendary Seawalkers? The Seawalkers are said to be half-human and half-fish. Everyone knows the story has to be a myth but, after T.J. rescues her, Miranda isn’t quite sure. Could the Seawalkers be real and could they be connected to the secrets that Miranda believes her mother to be hiding from her?

You’ve probably already guesses the answers to all of those questions but that’s okay. Sea Change won’t win many points for originality. If you’ve seen any other film adaptation of a YA novel, you’ll be able to guess almost everything that happens in Sea Change before it happens. But, again, that doesn’t matter. Sea Change is a well-made and likable film, one that is full of gorgeous imagery. (The film really makes excellent use of that island setting.) Keenan Tracy and Emily Rudd are both talented actors and they have a nice chemistry. Underneath all of the talk of Seawalkers, there’s a very real and sincere sweetness to their relationship. You find yourself hoping that things work out for them and really, in order to work, that’s pretty much the only thing that a film like this has to accomplish.

Sea Change ends with the possibility of a sequel. Personally, if they did make a sequel, I’d watch it.

Cleaning Out The DVR: The Watcher In The Woods (dir by Melissa Joan Hart)

Posted on January 16, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 163 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded The Watcher In The Woods off of Lifetime on October 21st, 2017!)

There’s something watching in the woods.

At the very least, that’s what Jan (Tallulah Evans) believes. Jan and her family are spending the summer in Wales, at the Aylwood Manor. From the minute that they move in, Jan starts to suspect that something is strange about the place. Sometimes, she thinks that she can hear whispers coming from the nearby woods. Her younger sister starts to act strangely. Their parents are convinced that Jan is just playing tricks and trying to frighten them. When Jan tries to find out more information about both the woods and her new home, she discovers that most of the people in the village don’t want to talk about it. Those that do speak to her tend to say things like, “Soon, you’ll be gone too.”

(Other than some shots of the beautiful countryside, I doubt this film will do much for Welsh tourism.)

And then there’s Mrs. Aylwood (Anjelica Huston), the mysterious and stand-offish owner of Aylwood Manor. Thirty years ago, her daughter disappeared in the woods. Most people in the village believe that Mrs. Aylwood murdered her own daughter. At first, Jan suspects that she’s a witch and that she not only sacrificed her daughter but now wants to sacrifice Jan’s sister as well!

Of course, the truth might be something altogether different. It’s not always so easy to tell who is a witch and who is just a grieving mother. The only thing that Jan knows for sure is that there’s something in the woods and it’s watching…

I have to admit that the main reason I wanted to see The Watcher In The Woods was because it was directed by Melissa Joan Hart and she’ll always be Sabrina, the Teenage Witch to me. (Don’t start yelling at me about God’s Not Dead 2. Actors have bills to pay and Melissa gave about as good a performance as anyone could with that script.) Hart does a pretty good job directing The Watcher In The Woods. It’s not particularly scary but, for all the talk of witches and demons, it’s not really meant to be a horror film. Instead, it’s a coming-of-age story with paranormal elements. Jan not only learns about what’s watching in the woods but she also learns an important lesson about assuming that people are witches. And, even if it’s not really a scary movie, it does have some appropriately creepy scenes. The woods are a great location and there’s a scene where Jan nearly downs that’s especially well-handled. The film is also well-acted, with a natural and believable performance from Tallulah Evans and an enjoyably stylized one from Anjelica Huston.

All in all, The Watcher in The Woods was an enjoyable October treat.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Story of a Girl (dir by Kyra Sedgwick)

Posted on January 15, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 163 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Story of a Girl off of Lifetime on July 23rd, 2017!)

Michael (Kevin Bacon) owns a pizza place in a small town. He’s just hired 16 year-old Deanna Lambert (Ryann Shane) to work for him over summer. Deanna shows up for her first day of work. Deanna apologizes for being late. Michael points out that he has no costumers so it doesn’t matter. Michael then introduces Deanna to his other employee, Tommy (Tyler Johnston). Deanna looks shocked. Tommy looks shocked.

“You two know each other?” Michael asks.

“In the biblical sense,” Tommy replies.

And so it goes from there…

Seriously, what was I doing on July 23rd that kept me from watching Story of a Girl? Was I watching a shark movie on SyFy? I do remember that Story of a Girl was very aggressively advertised in the days leading up to its premiere and I did actually mean to watch it. I’ve read the Sara Zarr penned book on which it was based and the commercials made it look fairly good. Add to that, it was directed by Kyra Sedgwick and co-starred Kevin Bacon and they seem like such a nice couple that I was naturally hoping it would be a good movie.

Three years ago, a sex video featuring 13 year-old Deanna and 17 year-old Tommy went viral. While Tommy (who, as Michael points out, was committing a felony) suffers not a single bit for taking advantage of his best friend’s younger sister, Deanna is branded a slut and sent into social exile. Her father, Ray (Jon Tenney), refuses to forgive her. Tensions at home are exasperated by the presence of Deanna’s brother, Darren (Iain Belcher), his girlfriend, Stacey (Sosie Bacon), and their baby. Darren and Stacey are planning on moving into a place of their own and Deanna is planning on going with them.

Though it may not be obvious from that plot description, Story a Girl is not a typical Lifetime film. It takes place in a thoroughly blue-collar milieu and the Lamberts live in perhaps the ugliest, most cluttered house that I’ve ever seen. Between that house and Ray acting like an asshole 24/7, it’s easy to understand why Deanna wants to get away from these people. The problem, however, is that, after only a few minutes, most viewers will be desperate to get out of there as well. And, unlike Deanna, viewers actually have a way of doing that. They can just change the channel. The film does have a good and important message but the characters are all so off-putting that a good deal of the audience probably won’t stick around to hear it.

Story of a Girl is a disappointingly superficial film. The Juno influence is obvious but Story of a Girl never comes to life in the same way that Juno did. Kevin Bacon is solid as Michael and Ryann Shane does a passable Ellen Page impersonation but everyone else is trapped in a film that’s long on plot but short on depth. I really wanted to like Story of a Girl but I just didn’t.