Tonight’s episode of Baywatch Nights, The Eighth Seal, was originally broadcast on April 26th, 1997 and it features David Hasselhoff getting possessed.
You really haven’t lived until you’ve seen David Hasselhoff play possessed.
Enjoy!
Tag Archives: Horrorthon
Witchcraft IX: Bitter Harvest (1997, directed Michael Paul Girard)
Will Spanner (played, for a second time, by David Byrnes) returns in Witchcraft IX!
Will is still the son of a warlock, he’s still dead, and his girlfriend is still named Kelli (she’s played, this time, by Leah Kourtne Ballantine) but otherwise, the continuity of the entire franchise gets seriously twisted in Witchcraft IX. Witchcraft VII ended up with Will dead and everyone knowing that Will was dead. This was followed by Witchcraft VIII, which was a stand-alone film about a different warlock. Witchcraft IX then begins with no one knowing that Will is dead and an imposter Will living with Kelli and regularly choking her during sex. Will’s ghost roams the city, trying to get anyone to listen to him. Though Will was clean-shaven when he died, ghost Will has a beard.
While Will is trying to find someone who can hear him, Detective Lutz (Stephanie Beaton) and Garner (Mikul Robins) are investigating yet another series of ritualistic homicides. This time, the homicides are connected to an Egyptian cult as opposed to a Satanic one. Usually, Lutz and Garner would turn to Will for help but, because imposter Will is a jerk, they don’t want anything more to do with him. Of course, in Witchcraft VII, Lutz and Garner saw Will die but apparently, they’ve forgotten about that and think that he’s still alive. See how confusing this is?
Will finally does find someone who can hear his voice. She’s a prostitute named Sheila (Landon Hall) and soon, Will is using her to deliver messages to Lutz, Garner, and Kelli. He even enters her body at one point. Witchcraft IX is basically a softcore version of Ghost, with an Egyptian cult thrown in for good measure.
Whatever other flaws they may have had, the previous Witchcraft films all did try to maintain a recognizable continuity. That’s what made them stand out when compared to other direct-to-video franchises. Even though the actors changed, Will always remained the same character with the same problems. In Witchcraft IX, all of that continuity gets tossed out the window. The one emotionally effective moment of the entire franchise, Will dying and being mourned by everyone who cared for him, is retconned into nothing.
Witchcraft IX suffers from its low budget and its impossible to follow plot but Landon Hall and Stephanie Beaton are surprisingly good as Sheila and Lutz and David Byrnes is a passable hero. Though Will does come back to life at the end of this one, he would still be absent in the next film. In Witchcraft X, Detective Lutz would finally get a story all of her own.
Game Review: What the Bus (2020, E. Joyce)
This game is an entrant in the 2020 Interactive Fiction competition. All of the entrants can be played here.
This game starts off with a premise that anyone has ever had to rely on mass transit can relate to. You’re waiting for the #44 Bus so that you can ride it to the station where you have to catch your train. However, while you’re waiting, you get a notification telling you that your bus is running 40 minutes behind schedule!
Do you try to catch another bus? Do you try to catch a different train? Or do you just suck it up and wait for your bus to arrive? Choose carefully because the world is strange and who knows where all of these buses and trains could be going. I consistently failed to pick wisely and I ended up more lost than I was before.
There are 10 different endings that you can get at the end of this game, depending on which bus or train you decide to take. Among the endings I’ve gotten, I’ve found myself trapped in a train station and I’ve also entered into a strange parallel dimension. I have yet to actually get to where I needed to go. Anyone who has ever had to deal with MTA Maryland or tried to navigate the subways in New York or the Underground in London will be able to relate. It’s a universal game, one to which we can all relate and which everyone should be able to enjoy. We’ve all been there.
You can play it here. Good luck!
Horror Scenes I Love: Klaus Kinski and Bruno Ganz have dinner in Nosferatu
Nosferatu (1979, dir by Werner Herzog)
Since today is Klaus Kinksi’s birthday, it makes sense that he should be featured in today’s scene of the day. In this scene from Werner Herzog’s 1979 film, Nosferatu, Klaus Kinski and Bruno Ganz have dinner. Of course, in this scenario, Bruno Ganz is Jonathan Harker while Kinski is Dracula.
(In the original, silent Nosferatu, Harker’s name was changed to Thomas Hutter while Dracula was called Count Orlok. By the time Herzog shot his version, the characters were in the public domain and there was no longer any need to pretend that Nosferatu wasn’t an adaptation of Bram Stoker’s novel.)
Enjoy!
4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Klaus Kinski Edition
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
94 years ago today, the infamous but incredibly talented Klaus Kisnki was born. Though Kinski appeared in many genres of film, he was an actor who seemed to be well-suited for horror films. Today, we honor that legacy with….
4 Shots From 4 Films
Aguirre The Wrath of God (1972, dir by Werner Herzog)
Nosferatu (1979, dir by Werner Herzog)
Crawlspace (1986, dir by David Schmoeller)
Nosferatu in Venice (1988, dir by Augusto Caminito and Klaus Kinski)
Horror On The Lens: The House On Haunted Hill (dir by William Castle)
The original The House on Haunted Hill is a classic and one that we make it a point to share every Halloween. And since October is halfway over, now seems like the perfect time to do so!
Be sure to check out Gary’s review by clicking here!
Enjoy Vincent Price at his best!
Artwork of the Day: Real Spicy Horror Stories (Artist Unknown)
Artist Unknown
Here’s The Trailer for The Empty Man!
The Empty Man is an upcoming horror film about a spirit that is vengeful because …. well, it’s empty, I guess. I mean, I guess that would make me angry too. No one wants to be shallow.
Anyway, here’s the trailer. How many clichés can you count?
Horror on TV: Baywatch Nights 2.18 “Symbol of Death” (dir by Richard Friedman)
The 17th episode of Baywatch Nights was called The Servant and it featured Mitch and Ryan fighting a mummy! Unfortunately, it’s also one of the few episodes to not be available on YouTube, or at least not in watchable form. (There’s a sped-up version where the image is so oddly cropped that it’s basically unwatchable but that’s about it.)
So, we’ll have to skip The Servant and instead move onto Symbol of Death which features an apparent alien abduction. If nothing else, this episode shows what a debt Baywatch Nights owed to The X-Files.
This episode originally aired on April 19th, 1997!
Enjoy!
The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: Ninja III: The Domination (dir by Sam Firstenberg)
This 1984 film is brilliant.
Basically, it tells the story of Christie Ryder (Lucinda Dickey), who appears to have everything that someone could want out of life. Not only does she have a really nice place to live but she also repairs phone lines for a living! (That might not sound glamorous but she lives in California, which means that there’s always a nice view when she’s working.) She also teaches an aerobics class because this film is from 1984 and, in 1984, everyone taught their own aerobics class. At least, that’s the impression that I’ve gotten from watching movies of the era.
Christie only has one problem. She’s been possessed. She hasn’t been possessed by any ordinary old demon, either. Instead, she’s been possessed by a dead ninja. Hanjuro (David Chung) came to America because there were some people on a golf course who needed to be killed. Unfortunately, no sooner had he killed everyone on the back 9 then he found himself surrounded by cops. It took a lot of bullets to take down Hanjuro but down he went. However, his spirit went up and entered Christie’s body.
Now, Christie spends her time teaching aerobics, working on phone lines, and murdering everyone who Hanjuro feels has wrong him. Hanjuro wants to kill all of the cops who shot him. Unfortunately, one of those cops, Billy Secord (Jordan Bennett), is now dating Christie. Once Billy finally figures out why Christie is acting so strangely, he takes her to an exorcist (James Hong) who explains that it’s going to take more than just an ordinary exorcism to defeat the ninja lurking within Christie. It’s going to require the help of another ninja, the noble Goro Yamada (Sho Kosugi). It’s time to go to Japan!
I may not be a huge ninja movie fan (unless, of course, they feature Franco Nero) but I have to say that I absolutely loved Ninja III. That really shouldn’t come as a surprise. This film is such an utterly weird mishmash of tones and genres that there’s no way that I couldn’t love it. It starts out as a typical kung fu film, just to suddenly turn into The Exorcist before then becoming Flashdance before returning to being The Exorcist. Finally, for the last few minutes of the film, it transforms back into a kung fu film. As I watched the film, I found myself thinking about all of the other films throughout history that could have been livened up by a demonic or spiritual possession subplot. For that matter, think about how much more crazy The Exorcist would have been if Father Karras and Father Merrin had been Ninja Karras and NInja Merrin.
Anyway, in all seriousness, Ninja III is exactly what an exploitation film should be. It’s unapologetically strange and over-the-top and it makes absolutely no apologies for being what it is. It’s a film that says, “I’m here to tell a story about a woman possessed by a dead ninja and if that’s not good enough for you, you need to figure out what’s wrong with your heart.” Ninja III is brilliant, wonderful, and definitely a film that you must watch this October. It’s on Prime so go watch it. Do it now.
Through the Shattered Lens 