Tag Archives: Horror

Horror Film Review: Audrey Rose (dir by Robert Wise)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1977 film, Audrey Rose, tells the story of an annoying little girl named Ivy (Susan Swift), who is the daughter of annoying Janice (Marsha Mason) and annoying Bill (John Beck).  Everything seems to be perfectly normal in an annoying way until, one day, they notice that they’re being followed around by an annoying man named Elliott (Anthony Hopkins).  Elliott explains that Ivy is the reincarnation of his daughter, Audrey Rose, who was herself kind of annoying.  Whenever Elliott says, “Audrey Rose,” Ivy going into a trance and starts screaming, which gets a bit annoying after a while.  Elliott explains this is because Audrey died in a fiery car crash and was apparently reincarnated too soon after her death.  Therefore, anytime Elliott shows us, Ivy relives the crash and tries to burn herself.  Annoying!

To me, it seems like there’s a simple solution to all of this.  Elliott could just go away or, at the very least, stop saying, “Audrey Rose” every ten seconds.  Anyway, at one point, Ivy starts screaming so Elliott rushes into the apartment and makes her stop.  However, Elliott is accused of attempting to abduct Ivy, arrested, and put on trial.

Elliott’s defense is that he couldn’t abduct his own daughter so therefore, if Ivy is the reincarnation of Audrey Rose, then he’s innocent.  Somehow, this leads to the trial becoming about proving reincarnation.  Hindu holy men are called to the stand.  Elliott smirks and tells his lawyer to call Janice to the stand because he’s figured out that Janice believes him.  Meanwhile, Ivy finds herself drawn towards every fire that she sees…

Audrey Rose was directed by a legitimately great director, Robert Wise.  Unfortunately, Wise takes the material way too seriously.  Just when you think the film is going to be an over the top possessed child flick, it suddenly turns into a turgid and serious debate about reincarnation.  The movie is so busy trying to be realistic that it forgets to be fun.

There’s also a lot of yelling in Audrey Rose.  In between Ivy screaming and Elliott continually calling his dead daughter’s name and Bill arguing with Janice and random characters screaming whenever Ivy gets to close to a fire, it’s easy to get a headache while watching this film.

Mason and Beck are pretty lousy in the roles of Janice and Bill.  Hopkins brings an occasionally neurotic edge to the role of Elliott.  You never quite trust him, even though the movie wants you to.  The best performances in the film come from the performers in the minor roles, character actors like Norman Lloyd, Robert Walden, and John Hillerman.  None of them are required to pretend like they’re taking their dialogue seriously and, as such, they’re a lot more fun to watch.

All in all, Audrey Rose is a fairly silly movie.  For some reason (probably the presence of Hopkins), it does seem to show up on TCM fairly regularly but I wouldn’t recommend watching.  If you want to see a good Robert Wise horror movie, check out The Haunting.

Horror On The Lens: The Cloning of Clifford Swimmer (dir by Lela Swift)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s horror on the lens is 1974’s The Cloning of Clifford Swimmer.

This short but entertaining sci-fi film may be a bit obscure but it’s a personal favorite of mine.  Check out my review here and then be sure to enjoy the show!

Music Video of the Day: Lost In America by Alice Cooper (1994, directed by ????)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Alice Cooper can’t get a girl be he doesn’t have a car and he can’t get a car because he doesn’t have a job and he can’t get a job because he doesn’t have a car.  This is one of Alice Cooper’s catchiest songs.  Whenever I watch any of Alice Cooper’s videos, I think about how interesting it is that Alice Cooper has gone from being the controversial face of shock rock to being an almost universally beloved American institution.

Enjoy!

AMV of the Day: This Is Halloween (Blood-C)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As the first full week of Horrorthon comes to an end, let us celebrate with an AMV of the Day!

Anime: Blood-C

Song: This is Halloween (performed by Marilyn Manson)

Creator: WOTundPANZER (please subscribe to this creator’s channel)

Past AMVs of the Day

Horror on TV: Ghost Story 1.8 “House of Evil” (dir by Daryl Duke)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s episode of Ghost Story is full of stars!

Evil grandpa comes to visit his family and, with the help of voodoo cookies (you read that right), he tries to manipulate his deaf and mute granddaughter into helping him kill everyone!  Grandpa is played by Melvyn Douglas.  His granddaughter is played by Jodie Foster!  And the script was written by none other than Robert Bloch and Richard Matheson!

This episode originally aired on November 10th, 1972.

The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: House of The Dead (dir by Uwe Boll)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

You know things are going to be bad when the 2003 video game adaptation House of the Dead opens with a lengthy narration in which we’re told exactly who is going to die in the film and who is going to live. Narration is usually a bad sign, in general. Narration that gives away a huge chunk of the plot during the opening five minutes is even worse.

Things get worse when we’re told that a bunch of college students need to find a boat so that they can attend the “rave of the century,” which is being held on an isolated island. (The island, by the way, is known as the Island of the Dead but no one seems to be that concerned by the name.) From what we see of the greatest rave of all time, it apparently involves one stage, two speakers, and exactly 8 people dancing. The dancers are often shot in slow motion, which I guess is meant to make them look like they’re having more fun than they actually are. Myself, I’m wondering why anyone would hold the “rave of the century” on an island that no one can find. According to the banner above the stage, the whole thing is being sponsored by Sega, the company behind the House of the Dead video game that gave this movie its name.

Things quickly go downhill once the zombies show up and start killing everyone. It doesn’t take long for most of the disposable characters to get killed. The majority of the film is made up of people either running through the forest or hiding in a house or a boat. Because none of the characters really have any personality, you’re never quite sure who anyone is. Their deaths don’t really register because it never seems as if they were living to begin with. Watching the film, it’s hard not to feel that everyone on the island is a member of the living dead. It’s just that some of them haven’t realized it yet.

As mentioned above, House of the Dead is based on a video game and, frequently, the action is punctuated with heavily pixelated scenes that have been lifted straight from the game. On the one hand, you have to admire the film for being honest about what it is. On the other hand, you have to regret that the film itself is never as much fun as the game probably is.

House of the Dead was one of several video game adaptations that German director Uwe Boll was responsible for in the early aughts. Up until he retired from the film industry, it was regularly argued by online film critics that Boll was the world’s worst director. Boll responded to the criticism by challenging his most vehement critics to a boxing match. A few of the critics accepted the challenge and Boll actually did fight them, knocking all of them out. I imagine that’s probably every filmmaker’s secret fantasy.

Myself, I will say that I don’t think Boll is the worst director in the world. He’s not particularly good but there are worst directors out there. That said, House of the Dead is pretty bad. The dialogue is leaden, the characters are bland, and even the intentional attempts at humor fall flat. Seventeen years after it was first released, it still pretty much represents the nadir of video game adaptations.

Anyway, the main lesson of this film is …. well, I don’t think there really is a lesson to be found, other than that it might be a good idea to take names seriously. I mean, Island of the Dead? Can anyone really be surprised that the zombies showed up?

Attack of the 50 Foot Camgirl (2022, directed by Jim Wynorski)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Beverly Wood (Ivy Smith) is a professional social media influencer whose ego is almost as big as her following.  She’s referred to as being “#BigBitch” for a reason.  Her manager, Bradley (Eli Cirino), is always looking for new ways to promote Beverly and now products for her to endorse.  However, Bradley is also a no-good cheater who is seeing Beverly’s assistant, Fuschia (Christine Nguyen), on the side.  When eating a new, scientifically-modified brand of hot dog causes Beverly to grew to 50 feet tall, she sets out for revenge, just like in Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.  This time, though, the romantic rival also grows to 50 feet tall and the movie ends with a Godzilla vs. King Kong-style battle over a bunch of miniature buildings.

This is the latest remake of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, without any of that film’s subversive subtext and, unfortunately, without any actresses as memorable as Allison Hayes and Yvette Vickers.  It’s a Jim Wynorski joint so you know what you’re going to get, which is lots of nudity, stiff acting, cheap special effects, and a nonstop stream of dad jokes that are more likely to make you groan than laugh.  (If you think hashtag is the funniest words this side of Poughkeepsie, you might chuckle once or twice.)  Ivy Smith even makes out with the film’s token sexy scientist (played by Lisa London) for no reason other than the fact that Wynorski knows his audience.  There’s nothing challenging or surprising about Attack of the 50 Foot Camgirl.  It’s a very unambitious film.  At the same time, Wynorski’s style is so self-aware and good-natured that the movie is still more likable than most of the other direct-to-video schlock that ends up streaming for free online.  It may be a dumb movie but it is smart enough not to take itself seriously.  The film both begins and ends with two giant women have a kaiju-style battle and destroying several miniature buildings.  That tells you all you need to know about both the film and whether or not you’ll enjoy it.

Game Review: Under the Bridge (2022, Samantha Kahn)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

You are a monster.

The humans have wiped out most of your species.  Your life in the forest has been upended by their intrusiveness and their violence.  But there is a bridge, one that leads into a nearby village.  The bridge looks like a good place to live and to feast.  Even monsters need to eat and with villagers constantly traveling from one side of the bridge to the other, the bridge is the perfect place for you to hunt.

This is a Twine game that tells the familiar story of the Troll Under The Bridge from the point of view of the troll.  You have many reasons for not trusting human.  You also need to eat.  When the humans try to cross your bridge, will you allow them to pass or will you confront and maybe even eat them?  The decision is yours but every decision comes with consequences,

I liked Under The Bridge.  It was well-written and it featured memorable but non-intrusive visuals and audio that truly made you feel as if you were hiding underneath that bridge and waiting for the sounds of possible prey.  There’s a number of different endings so this is a game that can be replayed several different times.  Considering that so many Twine games seem to lead to the same ending regardless of the choices you make, I appreciated that your choices actually meant something in Under The Bridge.

Play Under the Bridge.

Horror Scenes That I Love: The Gas Pump Disaster From Night of the Living Dead

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I remember the first time that I ever watched the original Night of the Living Dead, I was really stunned and, to be honest, quite upset by the death of Tom and Judy.  They were so likable and earnest that I guess I naturally assumed that they would survive or, at the very least, they wouldn’t die in such a pointless manner.  But, ultimately, that’s what made Night of the Living Dead such a frightening film.  It didn’t matter who you were or what you’re intentions were.  The Dead were going to kill you and then they were going to eat you.

Honestly, everyone should have just stayed in the cellar.