The Gardener (2021, directed by Becca Hirani and Scott Chambers)


Volker (Gary Daniels) and his gang break into an English manor, hoping to rob the place.  Since their last home invasion led to a pregnant woman getting shot in the head (though the actress continued to visibly breathe onscreen even after her character expired), Volker has planned this robbery down to the least little detail.  However, it turns out that the family that was supposed to be on a trip is actually home for the holidays!  Also, their Hungarian gardener, Peter (Robert Bronzi), is a former soldier who returns to his former ways to protect the family.  Armed with his gardening tools, Peter takes out the bad guys, one at a time.

Robert Bronzi is an actor whose career centers around him bearing a passable resemblance to Charles Bronson.  He also appeared in Death Kiss and, earlier this week, Brad reviewed him in Escape From Death Block 13.  In this movie, he’s not really a gardener just like Charles Bronson wasn’t really a mechanic in the film of the same name.  Get it?  This is one of the Bronzi films I’ve seen in which he wasn’t dubbed.  Peter is from Eastern Europe, just like Bronzi, so Bronzi gets to speak with his own voice.  He still doesn’t say much, though.  Bronzi actually looks less and less like Charles Bronson every time that I see him.  If he ever lost the mustache, his career would end.  Even more importantly, Bronzi doesn’t have Bronson’s screen presence.  Bronson could accomplish a lot just by narrowing his eyes.  Brozni always seems like he’s not sure where the camera is.  The movie plods along without much suspense or humor, as if we’re supposed to take a low-budget film with a Charles Bronson imitator seriously.

The Gardener is a film with a plot so thin that I don’t think the real Charles Bronson would have wasted his time with it.

 

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.4 “Walk-Alone”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, it’s a rare Tubbs episode!

Episode 3.4 “Walk-Alone”

(Dir by David Jackson, originally aired October 17th, 1986)

As Switek puts it, Tubbs has been walking on air for two weeks.  He’s got a new girlfriend, a waitress at a hot Miami restaurant.  Unfortunately, a shoot-out at that restaurant leaves her dead.  Though Crockett thinks that Tubbs is still too close to the case to be trusted to investigate, Tubbs insists on being involved and Castillo agrees.  (Castillo, at times, just seem to automatically do the opposite of whatever Crockett suggests.)

The shoot-out happened as a result of a drug deal that went down in the state prison.  Using the name Cubero, Tubbs goes undercover as a recently transferred prisoner.  He enters the prison as his usual cool and collected self.  He’s promptly beaten up by the Aryan Nations.  Fortunately, since this is a television show and not The Shawshank Redemption, beating him up is the only thing the Aryans do to Tubbs.

Tubbs is being targeted by all the prisoners, from the Aryans to the Muslims.  But when words get out that he’s a big-time drug dealer, Commander Fox (Keven Conway) makes a deal with him.  If Tubbs keeps Fox and his men supplied with drugs, Tubbs (or Cubero) will be kept safe.

Unfortunately, when Switek, Zito, and Trudy go the prison to see Tubbs, a prisoner recognizes them.  Tubbs’s cover is blown.  Crockett wants to go into the prison to save him but Castillo points out that everyone in the prison knows that Crockett is a cop.  (Tubbs has been Crockett’s partner for three years now so why did Castillo assume no one in the prison would be able to make him?)  Castillo goes into the prison to save Tubbs from both the guards and the prisoners.  The episode ends with Castillo gunning down a few guards and saving Tubbs’s life.  Way to go, Castillo!  The main lesson here seems to be that Castillo would rather risk of his own life than depend on Crockett for anything.

This was …. well, this episode was okay.  The plot was nothing special.  For all the talk about how Florida’s state prison was the most dangerous place in the world, it actually came across as being a rather mild place.  Tubbs got beaten up and he got threatened but he didn’t get shanked and or any of the other things that one tends to associate with prison.  The prison guards were not the most intimidating or interesting villains to appear on Miami Vice, even though one of them is played by a young Laurence Fishburne.

(This episode all features a youngish Ron Perlman, playing a good guy who I kept expecting to turn out to be a bad guy because he was being played by Ron Perlman.)

In the end, this episode was a bit forgettable, though it did allow the often-underused Philip Michael Thomas a chance to have the spotlight for once.  He does a good job, even if he doesn’t get to bust out his fake Caribbean accent.

October Positivity: The Mark: Redemption (dir by James Chankin)


2013’s The Mark: Redemption picks up almost immediately where The Mark left off.

The world is in chaos as millions of people have mysteriously vanished.  The economy is collapsing.  Crime is out of control.  Cities are burning.  The G20 Economic Summit is meeting in a surprisingly small conference room in Berlin.  The world looks to a mysterious investor named Phillyp Turk (Ivan Kamaras) for leadership.  It does this despite the fact that everything about Phillyp — from the way he speaks to the way he looks to the way that he spells his name — would seem to indicate that he’s a crazy supervillain.  Was the world not paying attention to all of those comic book movies?  Do they not know a cartoonishly evil businessman when they see one?

In Bangkok, Mr. Pike (Gary Daniels) and his men are still searching for Chad (Craig Sheffer) and Dao (Sonia Couling).  Chad still has the biometric chip — the Mark of the Beast, as it were — in his bloodstream and Pike is determined to capture Chad and somehow get the chip out.  In between thinking about all of their friends and family who have vanished, Chad and Dao try to find the inventor of the chip so that he can hopefully remove it.  Along the way, Dao talks about her younger sister, who has disappeared into Bangkok’s underworld but who, in one of those coincidental twists that boggles the imagination, also happens to have been an early test subject for the chip that is currently in Chad’s blood stream!

As for Cooper (Eric Roberts), he’s being held captive by Turner’s men.  Just as in the first film, Cooper proves himself to be a clever manipulator.  The only difference is that, in the sequel, Cooper finally understands that he was one of the bad guys and he doesn’t feel quite right about that.  Cooper finds an ally in Warren (Johann Helf), one of Mr. Pike’s less bloodthirsty associates.

The Mark: Redemption is quite an improvement on the original film.  It helps that, in the sequel, the action is opened up as opposed to solely taking place in one claustrophobic location.  Mr. Pike and his men chase Chad and Dao all over Bangkok while Turk flies from New York to Berlin and back again.  If the first film felt confined, the second film truly does capture the feel of a global catastrophe.  As well, Craig Sheffer’s performance here is far more lively than in the first film.  In the first film, he seemed as if he had mentally checked out.  In the second film, he actually makes some sort of effort to portray the character.  Of course, the film is ultimately stolen by Eric Roberts, who seems to be having a blast playing the sardonic Cooper.  Roberts keeps the film lively and things are all the better for it.

The Mark: Redemption ends with the promise of a third film but, as far as I know, it was never made.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Blood Red (1989)
  3. The Ambulance (1990)
  4. The Lost Capone (1990)
  5. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  6. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  7. Sensation (1994)
  8. Dark Angel (1996)
  9. Doctor Who (1996)
  10. Most Wanted (1997)
  11. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  12. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  13. Hey You (2006)
  14. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  15. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  16. The Expendables (2010) 
  17. Sharktopus (2010)
  18. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  19. Deadline (2012)
  20. The Mark (2012)
  21. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  22. Lovelace (2013)
  23. Self-Storage (2013)
  24. This Is Our Time (2013)
  25. Inherent Vice (2014)
  26. Road to the Open (2014)
  27. Rumors of War (2014)
  28. Amityville Death House (2015)
  29. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  30. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  31. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  32. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  33. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  34. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  35. Dark Image (2017)
  36. Black Wake (2018)
  37. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  38. Clinton Island (2019)
  39. Monster Island (2019)
  40. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  41. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  42. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  43. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  44. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  45. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  46. Top Gunner (2020)
  47. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  48. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  49. Killer Advice (2021)
  50. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  51. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  52. My Dinner With Eric (2022)

October Positivity: The Mark (dir by James Chankin)


The 2012 film, The Mark, opens with a covert attack by a group of mercenaries on a laboratory.  The head scientist, wanting to make sure that his work is not destroyed, injects guard Chad Turner (Craig Sheffer) with a biometric chip.  As Cooper (Eric Roberts), the head of security with Avanti Corporation, explains it, Chad is now the most important person in the world.  He has been injected with the future, a chip that will replace the need for personal identification or currency.  It’s a chip that Cooper claims will bring the world together under one big government.

Hmmm …. a Pureflix film about a biometric chip that will lead to one world government?  Can we all guess where this is leading?

With the world economy collapsing and threats of war dominating the headlines, Cooper decides to personally escort Chad to the G20 economic summit in Berlin.  Seeing as how everyone wants to get their hands on the chip, Cooper decides that the best plan is to fly to Berlin on a commercial flight.  Cooper describes it as hiding in plain sight.  I would describe it as being remarkably stupid.

Needless to say, the flight is an eventful one. Cooper enjoys talking to the other passengers.  And Chad flirts with a woman who is convinced that the G20 summit is actually a conspiracy of some sort.  The co-pilot asks a flight attendant to marry him and she says, “Yes.”  Yay!  One of the passengers mentions that he’s a minister and offers to marry them right there but the co-pilot explains that they’re not really into all of that religious stuff.  Unfortunately, a mercenary named Mr. Pike (Gary Daniels) hijacks the plane and demands the chip, which is currently being absorbed into Chad’s bloodstream.

The film starts out as a Die Hard clone, with Chad sneaking around the plane and taking out the terrorists one-by-one.  Cooper rallies the other passengers to fight back.  But then there’s a bright flash of light and half of the passengers and one of the pilots vanishes.  The clearly shaken minister says:

That’s right, it’s one of those films!

Can Chad and flight attendant Dao (Sonia Couling) figure out how to open up the locked cockpit so that the remaining agnostic pilot can land the plane?  And will Chad be able to escape from the plane, despite the fact that Cooper is still intent on taking him to the summit?

Like a lot of PureFlix films, The Mark attempts to deliver its message in the guise of a genre film.  Unfortunately, it’s a bit of a bore as an action film, with a slow-moving plot and fight scenes that feel as if they’ve been lifted from countless other films.  Craig Sheffer is a bland hero and the terrorists are generic.  Not surprisingly, it’s Eric Roberts who steals the film, playing Cooper as being someone who can be a valuable ally but who is also a bit too arrogant for his own good.  If I was ever on a hijacked plane, I would definitely want Eric Roberts on my side.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Blood Red (1989)
  3. The Ambulance (1990)
  4. The Lost Capone (1990)
  5. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  6. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  7. Sensation (1994)
  8. Dark Angel (1996)
  9. Doctor Who (1996)
  10. Most Wanted (1997)
  11. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  12. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  13. Hey You (2006)
  14. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  15. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  16. The Expendables (2010) 
  17. Sharktopus (2010)
  18. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  19. Deadline (2012)
  20. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  21. Lovelace (2013)
  22. Self-Storage (2013)
  23. This Is Our Time (2013)
  24. Inherent Vice (2014)
  25. Road to the Open (2014)
  26. Rumors of War (2014)
  27. Amityville Death House (2015)
  28. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  29. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  30. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  31. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  32. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  33. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  34. Dark Image (2017)
  35. Black Wake (2018)
  36. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  37. Clinton Island (2019)
  38. Monster Island (2019)
  39. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  40. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  41. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  42. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  43. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  44. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  45. Top Gunner (2020)
  46. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  47. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  48. Killer Advice (2021)
  49. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  50. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  51. My Dinner With Eric (2022)

Heatseeker (1995, directed by Albert Pyun)


Directed and co-written by Albery Pyun, Heatseeker takes place in the near future, in the year 2019!  The world is a corrupt and dangerous place where the poor are getting poorer and the rich are getting richer.  Corporations are as powerful as governments.  (Albert Pyun, prophet.)  Each corporation is represented by an MMA fighter because it’s not enough that a corporation provide a needed good or service.  Their fighters also have to be able to win tournament after tournament.

Chance O’Brien (Keith Cooke) is a world champion fighter who is unique because he fights without corporate sponsorship and he is also not a cyborg.  While every other fighter has been “enhanced,” O’Brien remains all-natural.  Evil CEO Tsui Tung (Norbert Weisser) wants to show off his newest fighter, Xao (Gary Daniels).  Tung arranges for Chance’s girlfriend and trainer to be kidnapped as a way to force O’Brien to travel to New Manila and take part in the ultimate fighting tournament.  Tung’s plan is for Xao to defeat Chance while the entire world is watching.  Chance just wants to rescue his girlfriend, even if she is now being forced to train Xao.

Heatseeker, I watched in memory of director Albert Pyun.  Pyun was the master when it came to movies about cyborgs entering MMA tournaments and Heatseeker is typical of his films.  The plot is incoherent but no one is watching for the plot.  The fights are the attraction and Pyun doesn’t waste too much time before getting into them.  Gary Daniels and Keith Cooke may not have been the best actors but they were pros when it came to fight scenes and they both give it their all as the work their way to their inevitable final confrontation.  Since all of the fighters, except for Chance, are also cyborgs, that means that each match ends with sparks and exposed stainless steel.

Pyun fans will get exactly what they want out of Heatseeker.  Along with the tournament, Heatseeker also features performance from Pyun regulars like Tim Thomerson and Thom Matthews.  One thing it does not do is feature anyone seeking heart but you can’t have everything.

 

Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #40: The Wrong Child (dir by David DeCoteau)


(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June.  She’s trying to get it all done by the end of July 11th!  Will she make it!?  Well, I guess she did since this is the 40th review!!!  YAY!)

The Wrong Child

Finally, we have reached the end.  Two and a half weeks ago, I started the process of reviewing all forty of the films that I recorded between the start of March and the end of June.  It hasn’t always been easy, within the two and a half week time frame that I set for myself, to watch and review all of these films but I’ve managed to do it.  As soon as I publish the review that you’re reading right now, I will be able to say that I have officially cleaned out my DVR.

So, what was the final film waiting to be watched on my DVR?  It was The Wrong Child, which originally aired on June 26th on the Lifetime channel.

In The Wrong Child, Vivica A. Fox plays Renee.  Like many Lifetime heroines, Renee would appear to have it all.  She has money, glamour, a teenage daughter, and a tragic backstory.  (Her first husband was killed several years ago in a traffic accident.)  She also has a wonderful house, which regular Lifetime viewers might recognize as being the same house from The Wrong Roommate.  She has recently remarried.  Her new husband is Charles (Gary Daniels), an architect who may or may not have a few secrets of his own lurking in the past.

One day, Andrew (Robbie Davidson) shows up at the house.  Andrew is a handsome and apparently normal teenager.  He explains that his mother has recently died of stomach cancer but, before she passed, she informed him that Charles is his father.  Charles is skeptical but Renee and her daughter welcome Andrew into the family.

Of course, it turns out that Charles was correct to be suspicious.  Andrew is a sociopath, the type of guy who takes pictures of strangers while they’re out jogging and who also is totally willing to murder anyone who might have any evidence that his name is not actually Andrew.  Andrew may be crazy but he has a very specific reason for tracking down Charles and his new family.

The Wrong Child is a pretty standard Lifetime B-movie but director David DeCoteau always brings a certain flair to even the most predictable of thrillers.  You know that Andrew is crazy as soon as you see him but Robbie Davidson still gives a really good and rather chilling performance.

Add to that, there’s the house!  I loved the house when it appeared in The Wrong Roommate and I loved it even more in The Wrong Child.  Here’s hoping that the house appears in another wrong film soon!

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Well, that’s it!  Two and a half week and 40 movies later, I have now officially cleaned out my DVR!  Now, I can get to work on filling it up again!

Film Review: The Encounter: Paradise Lost (2012, dir. David A.R. White)


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Update: I don’t like to change my old reviews because good or bad, they reflect where I was at the time. However, since writing this review, I have been assured by Sean Paul Murphy who wrote and edited the film, that it was not directed by David A.R. White. He has told me that it is a pseudonym, but just not for White. It was a DGA issue. I’m going to take his word for it unless something else comes up, in which case I will obviously update this again.

You may have noticed that I credit this film as being directed by David A.R. White instead of Bobby Smyth as it is listed on IMDb. I have looked at numerous reviews and I can’t find anyone else that seems to have noticed this is an obvious pseudonym for David A.R. White. Let me explain.

David A.R. White is credited as directing the first Encounter movie. Do you really think he would entrust the sequel to someone who has absolutely no other credits to their name?

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Of course he wouldn’t. He would helm it himself, or maybe co-direct it the same way he did with Me Again (2012).

The next bit is the name itself. The last name Smyth sure sounded familiar to me. It should sound familiar if you are a Baptist or have studied religion. John Smyth was one of the founders of the Baptists churches. He is also particularly noted for reconciling with the Mennonites near the end of his life.

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According to the bio for David A.R. White, written by his own company Pure Flix Entertainment on IMDb, he grew up in a small Mennonite farming community outside of Dodge City, Kansas. Also, Smyth is a variation on Smith. The infamous pseudonym used over the years by many people is Alan Smithee.

The Bobby part is probably two-fold. First, it’s not Alan, which would be way too obvious. Second, the real star of this movie is an actor named Robert Miano. Miano has been in numerous Pure Flix films. That’s most likely where he got Bobby from.

Another thing takes us back to the movie Me Again. In that film, Bruce McGill plays a character named Big Earl. Big Earl is an anagram for Gabriel. As in the archangel Gabriel. So this kind of thing is in David A.R. White’s wheelhouse.

Finally, the movie has the same problems as The Encounter as well as another David A.R. White film called Redeemed (2014). It has his signature on this movie, which is especially noticeable because The Encounter and this film had different cinematographers. To me that says the director told them to shoot it this way, which means a common director between the two movies. There are also other little things as well. Unless someone actually called Bobby Smyth turns up, then it’s a pseudonym for who I can only conclude must have been White himself.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about the film.

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Before giving us the title card, the movie gives us a little background information on the 2004 tsunami. This is another reason I’m sure it’s a pseudonym. The Mennonite’s have a thing called the Mennonite Central Committee. They responded to the tsunami by sending millions of dollars in aid. That tsunami is sort of a thing in the movie. Kind of. Just a minor plot point, but important enough that it gets a couple of title cards at the start.

Now we have to explain a little more. This is a bit like a Godfrey Ho movie. There is a Movie A and a Movie B that are spliced together. Not clumsily like Ho would do, but it is enough that it really is appropriate to discuss them as if they are two separate films.

Movie A:

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Movie A opens up with DEA Agent Rik Caperna (David A.R. White) showing up in Thailand 7 years after the tsunami hit the region. He is itching to take down a drug kingpin named Bruno Mingarelli (Robert Miano).

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Luckily, he spots him just as he pulls up in his car and Rik calls his boss. Since Bruno isn’t actually holding any suitcases or anything that could be holding drugs, his boss says to hold back. Rik doesn’t like that at all. He is given orders to stay in his car, which is exactly why he leaves his car to follow Bruno.

Now one of the parts that sort of connects the two stories together happens.

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Jesus, played by Bruce Marchiano, appears, looks at Bruno, then disappears. To be honest, it’s a little weird. It’s something you would expect a slasher movie character to do before he finally gets down to the killing. Of course, that is exactly what Jesus is doing here except he is making these brief appearances to allude that Movie B is eventually going to happen.

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Bruno has a bodyguard of sorts named Charlie Doles played by Gary Daniels.

Now we get a strange flashback that isn’t clear it’s a flashback. It’s of a little girl that we will find out later is, or represents, Rik’s sister who died when he was a kid because of drugs. It’s this lousy indication of when something is real or a flashback that was also present in Redeemed, which David A.R. White is explicitly credited as having directed.

Next we meet Bruno’s boss, and guess who?

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It’s Kass Connors here to make barely an appearance just to let you know the Devil is around here somewhere.

Bruno is here to tell him that this will be his last shipment, but soon Rik is spotted outside, and the chase is on.

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These scenes are actually shot reasonably well. Almost as if White is familiar with these kinds of movies so he had an idea of how to shoot these properly. These action oriented outdoor scenes are not a part of Movie B, and weren’t in the first film. Movie B and the first film are all close quarters dialogue heavy films. In other words, films like My Dinner With Andre (1981), Persona (1966), and the dialogue heavy works of Eric Rohmer. Or to put it even simpler, they are foreign films, but shot like they were done by someone who isn’t exactly familiar with those kinds of movies.

Getting back to the story of Movie A now, Rik catches up with Bruno and takes him into custody. One problem, he actually has no evidence whatsoever. As a result, the police show up and let Bruno go. Then Rik flips out, attacks the cops, and is taken into custody himself.

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Now we go to meet Bruno’s drug addicted wife Mimi Mingarelli (Ammy Chanicha). Think of her as the nice girl who picked up the runaway from the first movie, except she’s a drug addict in this one.

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Now we cut back to Rik in jail, and hey Rik!

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Jesus, Man!

Look, if David wasn’t going to put in that priceless one-liner somewhere, than I had too. If you don’t know what that’s from, then here’s The Cinema Snob review of Second Glance (1992), which David A.R. White was in.

Now what you expect happens. By that, I mean Rik is let out of jail by his boss, and immediately goes to see the Devil.

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After passing him a copy of the script for God’s Not Dead (2014), the Devil also gives him a gun and tells him to go after Bruno with his blessing.

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I have no idea how he knew exactly where the Devil was. One minute he’s in jail being told he’s suspended by his boss, then he’s suddenly walking into the conveniently lit with red hallway to the room where the Devil is waiting.

Now the Devil places a call to Charlie telling him to let Rik kill Bruno, then to kill Rik.

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Oh, and Jesus is out there in the ocean standing on the water. You know, as you do. Actually, I am glad they put some of these things in after the first film. I mean you have a character that is literally supposed to be Jesus. Let the man do his thing.

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Rik catches up with Charlie, Bruno, and Mimi. He engages in a gun battle, but is taken hostage. Rik eventually breaks free, and Bruno is killed in the crossfire between Rik and Charlie.

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Rik chases down Charlie and fights him. Rik nearly drowns Charlie to death, but decides not to, and instead bring him in properly so he can be tried for his crimes.

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The last we see of Rik is him sitting on a beach being told by his boss that Bruno kept good records so they are going to be busy for a long time.

Movie A has come to an end. Time for Movie B!

Movie B:

Movie B opens up in 2004 with a black couple and their son Timothy (Steven Clarke). They are kind of like the black couple from the first one in that they are married, black, and the wife will end up wanting a divorce, but that’s really all they have in common with them. The wife wanting a divorce was ambiguous and kind of offensive in the first film. Here, we completely understand. She (Shelley Robertson) has every reason for wanting out of this situation the husband (Rif Hutton) has dug himself into and doesn’t appear to be emerging from anytime soon no matter what she does. The couple runs a resort in Thailand. Now Dad goes to sit down and talk with his son.

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His son spent 4 years in pre-med, then decided to abandon it to become what they call a “doctor of divinity”. It’s kind of a wishy washy honorary theology type degree. The point is, he wants to help people by actually being a Christian and what they are supposed to embody. The father is a little perplexed as I would be myself. That is a lot of work to be tossed aside. Also, being a real medical doctor doesn’t preclude doing what he wants to do. In fact, he could do even more good being an MD that is willing to do things like Doctors Without Borders and Christian type aid programs. However, of course it’s his decision to make. His father seems to respect it even if he doesn’t completely understand it. Sadly, the son is killed by a 24 style countdown and a title card.

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Next we see the father 7 years later ruminating about his son’s death. He also talks to him like he’s there, which he is because this is a Christian movie.

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You can tell by the stink eye his son is giving him that he isn’t too happy with his Dad’s plan here. Neither is his wife happy with his inability to move on instead of not only digging a hole so deep that he’ll never get out but also dragging her into it as well. He is also so far gone that he doesn’t even want to evacuate as a new storm is approaching. That’s when Dad walks out into the water so David can try and fix the gun clip goof from the first Encounter movie.

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In the first Encounter movie Jesus recounts a tale of how he saved the runaway girl from killing herself. He caused her abusive father to stumble so he would take the clip out of the gun he was carrying. The point being that when she picked up the gun it wouldn’t have any bullets in it. The problem was that the father set the clip right next to the gun, but then it disappeared when the camera cut to her coming into the room. That left me saying, “Thanks Jesus, but who moved the clip?” I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who noticed that mistake in the film. This is basically a repeat of that scene except you can see that the red dot is on indicating the safety is off. That isn’t just one quick shot either. They really make sure you get a good look at that gun to make sure you see the dot. It’s also there to build up some tension till Jesus tells him to put down the gun. Think that scene is going to go anywhere? Nope!

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The next thing we see is Rik pulling up in a boat, the father putting the gun in his belt, and then Dad taking Rik away to show him the place. Now the gun battle breaks out and everyone in the story is taken hostage by Bruno and Charlie. That means the drug addicted wife, the married couple, and Rik tied to a chair in a room at the resort. Thus begins the Encounter as Jesus appears outside their window.

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I must be right up front and say that despite the problems in this part of the film, Jesus is way more like Jesus than he was in the first film. In that one he was like someone selling a time share in Heaven or damnation just down the road. That said, let’s take a look at this part.

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Jesus sits down next to the drug addicted wife. Of course he knows everyone’s name. They ask him what his name is and he doesn’t just come right out with Jesus. Again, he’s much more like a kind person in this then in the first movie. He doesn’t immediately dump the Jesus and believe in me stuff on them. He tends to talk to them like he’s just a person there who wants to defuse this otherwise deadly situation. In fact, he doesn’t say his name until he is explicitly asked by Bruno.

In this situation you can think of Charlie as the businessman in the first film. However, as Movie A shows, he isn’t sent to eternal damnation. He is given a chance to pay for his crimes in prison. Much better than the first film in this regard.

The next part that is worth mentioning is when Jesus takes some potshots at Buddhism. Mimi grew up in a monastery before ending up becoming addicted to drugs. She was then bought by Bruno who couldn’t stand seeing her the way she was, but also fell in love with her on sight. I could have done without that. It’s that whole teams thing. It’s not necessary in religion any more than gender. In fact, it’s not needed anywhere, but in sports where we emphasize having good sportsmanship.

She is the first person he tries to help. You can say he preys on her because she’s the weakest point. There’s something to that, but it also makes sense to start with her since she’s the easiest to fix. It also makes sense to start with her because aside from the married couple, the other’s lives revolve around victims like herself. Still, instead of working through her pre-existing religion, he tries to directly contradict it and convert her.

Throughout this there are problems with focus and other camera issues. Here’s an example.

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The camera really doesn’t seem to know where to focus, tries to focus on Jesus after Bruno passes in front of him, then just quickly cuts away. There was a similar shot in the first film where the camera was changing from a background character to one in the foreground, but then just suddenly cut away.

Here’s another example.

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Late in Movie B, Jesus reaches out and takes Rik by the hand. The focus, framing, and who is talking don’t come together properly in the shot. The hand holding is too low to really be a focal point. The focus leaves just about everything out of focus, but the hands. Yet, despite the hands being in focus, Jesus is the one doing the talking and is all blurry. This is the kind of thing that needed some work.

The next major plot point is that we find out the husband did some shady business deals to buy the hotel in the paradise of Thailand. Also, that while the mother never really believed her son was gone forever, he did, and his wife taking comfort in her beliefs drove him to the brink of suicide.

Oh, and then he heals Mimi.

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Again, while Jesus does have his “join me” lines, he really is more like a good psychologist who just wants to help. Can’t tell you how refreshing that was after the first film, which was arduous to sit through, much less write about.

Another problem is that some times the camera spends so much time with a couple of the characters that the suspension of disbelief that all of the actors are actually in the room begins to wear thin. I don’t remember feeling that in the first film. This time around, I kept wondering if David A.R. White as Rik or Gary Daniels as Charlie were even around anymore. You’ll also see this shot…

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several times where the camera pans as if to remind the audience of who is there and the layout of the room. That shouldn’t have had to be done if there was better camerawork that didn’t explicitly need this kind reorientation.

Oh, and just like several other elements are recycled from the first film, we get the equivalent of the two ladies in the bathroom scene. This time around, they are in the kitchen.

Let’s cut to the chase now. Jesus heals Mimi literally. Jesus brings the married couple around. Rik breaks free. Rik tries to shoot Charlie, but Bruno jumps in front of him to die for Charlie’s, or all of their sins if you will. That’s when Jesus opens the imaging chamber door…

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and the two of them leave.

That’s where movie A picks up.

Oh, there is one final bit.

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You didn’t really think you’d get away without some sequel baiting, did you? They did it at the end of the first film too. They are talking about Rik here who is sitting on the beach near them.

My final thoughts on this are that it feels like an aborted experiment. It feels like the movie was supposed to be about Rik and his journey while Jesus and the Devil fight for how he will deal with Bruno and Charlie. All the while, the two of them also fighting for the hearts and minds of Bruno and Charlie. However, for whatever reason, they had to toss that idea out the window after certain footage was already filmed and just go with a far less preachy and contradiction filled version of the first film. Too bad. I might have enjoyed that film better than I did this one. If you must see one of the Encounter films, then this is the better of the two. I doubt we will get another sequel till the God’s Not Dead gravy train ends for Pure Flix. Then they’ll probably take another crack at this franchise.

A Quickie Review: The Expendables (dir. by Sylvester Stallone)


Lisa Marie has already done a wonderful job of reviewing Sylvester Stallone’s latest action vehicle, The Expendables. I’ll keep my review to a quickie format since her review went into detail and my thoughts ran at a similar path.

To start things I will say that despite the obvious gigantic leaps in logic one may have to take to buy into Stallone’s latest once that leap has been taken then The Expendables becomes a piece of mind-numbingly loud, fun and entertaining piece of popcorn cinema. Yes, this film is not going to break any new grounds in cinematic history (though in terms of piecing together a cast so manly and testosterone-fueled it may). Stallone will not have found his inner-Bergman or even his closeted-McTiernan. What The Expendables has shown would be how Stallone knows exactly what his core audience wants to see.

His film is quite lean to the level of anorexic when one has to describe it’s plot and characters. The film’s main plot involves Stallone and his band of expert mercenaries (using the film’s title as their name) being hired by a Mr. Church (Bruce Willis in an uncredited cameo) who wants them to overthrow a certain dictator-general who rules a small South American island nation called Vilena. Stallone and his writers try to add some complexities to this set-up of past CIA dealings with the general and rogue agents (sounds like rogue CIA agents are the villains of the season for 2010 with The Losers and The A-Team also having their own rogue agent) and daddy issues. But all that was just gristle that could’ve been taken out of the porterhouse that this film ended up being.

The Expendables works best when bought into it as being a throwback, meat and potatoes type of action flick. It definitely owes much to the many action flicks that got churned out for film and direct-to-video in the hundreds during the 80’s. Even the casting brings to mind the typical casting list of 80’s action. Take the most recognizable (then move down the tiers) action stars of the day, put them together, add guns and explosions and you got yourself an actioner. And boy does this flick have tons of explosions and a veritable buffet table of weapons on-hand. My favorite has to be the AA-12 assault shotgun carried by Terry Crews’ character Caesar. A character who seemed written just someone will come into an action scene firing this most awesome of weapons. When Crews’ Caesar does put the AA-12 into use the theater I was in erupted in cheers (yeah, cheering nameless soldiers getting shotgunned off their feet seems tackless, but oh so fun!).

I really don’t need to go too much into the plot in detail. What I had mentioned earlier and what Lisa Marie has already written pretty much explains everything. The film’s cast of past and current action stars have chemistry together. Though I will say that the chemistry may be just due to the fact that they all are in on the joke while making the film. They seem to know not to take the screenplay seriously and just go with the flow of the action. We’re not watching a film about Stallone’s character interacting with Statham’s or Rourke’s or Li’s. We’re watching Stallone shooting the shit with the others and there just happened to be cameras around them rolling. The only thing missing from the non-action scenes between the cast members were stripper poles, dancers and a few Hell’s Angels bikers doing boucner duties (maybe the director’s cut edition of the dvd/blu-ray will put those back in).

Now, what would a Stallone flick be without talking about the action. While the action scenes are not revolutionary and not even stylisticly different the way the action in The Losers and The A-Team were shot again Stallone stuck to 80’s meat-and-potatoes. The action scenes were reminiscent of scenes from Commando, Rambo: First Blood Part II and Die Hard. It was a by-the-numbers, point a to point b style of filming an action scene that audiences will accept with a nostalgic smile or dismiss as being boring and been-there-done-that. The one thing Stallone added to these scenes which made them feel somewhat fresh and new was the brutal and gory way people reactedwhen their clumsiness made them get in the way of the thousands of bullets, shotgun shells and explosions. Stallone first showed this in its over-the-top glory in his previous film, Rambo, and he uses the same style in a slightly more subdued way in this film.

I will like to point out one particular action sequence which was brief but done with a certain panache that convinced me that Stallone should just crank out action flicks for the rest of his career. I’m talking about a point in the middle section of the flick when Stallone and Statham use their team seaplane to strafe then firebomb the waterfront docks in Vilena. Part of me knew what was going to happen when they began their run but by the time it ended I was smiling like a goofy 8-year old kid watching his first rated-R action movie. Yeah, The Expendables definitely plucked the nostalgia strings in this film-fan’s heart.

One other way to look at this flick is to compare it to Stallone’s Rambo which also had a mercenary team who unwittingly becomes sidekick to Rambo by the film’s end. I, and more than a few other reviewers, where actually interested in seeing a film with Rambo and said mercenary team in a film together. While such a film would’ve been one of the most violent if not the stadard bearer if ever made we’ll just have to settle for a more tame version with The Expendables. Maybe this flick will make that particular spin-off happen down the line.

I would like to say that The Expendables had more to offer than the guns, explosions and overwhelming aura of testosterone, but I’d lying if I did. That’s all one needed to know going into the theater to watch this flick. To expect anymore, even a decent dialogue, would be asking for sauteed mushrooms and artichokes when all that’s needed is that porterhouse cooked just above rare and a six-pack of brews. Just think of The Expendables as that kind of meal and one will enjoy the bloody fun being had by all on the big-screen.