Billy Bob Thornton in A SIMPLE PLAN (1998) – The great performances! 


Sam Raimi directed A SIMPLE PLAN, a movie about two brothers and a friend who find a crashed plane on a nature reserve that just happens to have a bag of cash containing $4.4 million. What starts out as the potential answer to all of their problems turns out the biggest problem they’ll ever have to deal with. 

Bill Paxton, Billy Bob Thornton & Brent Briscoe play the guys who find the money and come up with a plan to keep it. As you can imagine, it all goes to hell, with one thing leading to another thing that leads to another thing, and none of it good. The performances in this film are uniformly excellent, with Thornton as the standout. He completely disappears into his character and received an Oscar nomination for his work. It’s a great film, but it’s not exactly a fun film as we watch these characters’ lives turn into a slowly unfolding bus wreck. I watched it recently for the first time since I saw it in the theaters in 1998. Although I highly recommend it, I’m probably good for another couple of decades.

This scene with Paxton and Thornton is pretty sad and a pretty strong indicator of why money ultimately can never bring true happiness. 

14 Days of Paranoia #4: Conspiracy (dir by Adam Marcus)


2008’s Conspiracy opens in Iraq.

A group of American soldiers are searching for militants.  Amongst them is the grim-faced William “Spooky” MacPherson (Val Kilmer).  When an adorable little girl with a teddy bear approaches the soldiers, MacPherson barely notices.  His mind is on adult threats.  But when the girl reveals that she has a bomb in her backpack, the majority of the soldiers are blown up with her. MacPherson survives, though he loses a leg and ends up with such severe PTSD that he can no longer carry a gun or even make a fist.  Helping him recover from his wounds is his best friend and fellow soldier, Miguel (Greg Serano).

A year or so later, MacPherson is back home.  He lives in a run-down apartment in New York and spends most of his time with a naked woman who speaks Russian.  (Whether she was meant to be his girlfriend or just someone he hired is unclear.)  Miguel continually calls him up and asks him to come down to New Mexico and work on his ranch.  MacPherson refuses at first.  He wants to remain isolated from the world.  But when his flashbacks of the explosion become too intense, MacPherson finally decides to accept Miguel’s offer.  MacPherson pawns a gun so that he’ll have enough money to get a bus ticket.  And then, he heads for New Mexico.

The only problem is that, once MacPherson arrives in New Mexico, Miguel is nowhere to be seen.  Walking through a town that appears to have recently been constructed, MacPherson meets a lot of people who insist that they’ve never heard of Miguel and that there is no ranch at the address that Miguel gave MacPherson.  The police carefully watch MacPherson as he makes his way from business to business, searching for his friend.  No one in town is friendly.  No one seems to want MacPherson around.  Eventually, MacPherson is approached by Rhodes (Gary Cole), the businessman who is building the town and who apparently controls everything that happens within the town limits.  Rhodes is friendly.  Rhodes says that MacPherson, with his white skin and blonde hair, is exactly the type of person that he likes to see in his town.  Can you tell where this is going?

You probably already guessed that Rhodes is an evil businessman who is involved in human trafficking and who smuggles Mexicans across the border to work for his company before then sending back to their home country with next to no money.  You’ve also probably figured out that Miguel was killed by the corrupt police force.  If you haven’t figured that out, you’ve never seen a movie before.  MacPherson teams up with the only kind person in town, Joanna (Jennifer Esposito), and they try to stop Rhodes’s operation.  The entire movie seems to be building up to a scene where MacPherson and Joanna take on the whole town but instead, somewhat anticlimactically, everyone just stands around and watches Rhodes battle MacPherson.  Conspiracy promises a lot but it doesn’t really deliver.

This was one of Val Kilmer’s first straight-to-video roles and he gives a rather detached performance, which is a shame because an actor of Kilmer’s talent could have really done something with this role if he had been in the mood to do so.  But I don’t blame Kilmer for not seeming to be that invested in Conspiracy.  It’s not a very interesting film.  Even the usually dependable Gary Cole just seems to be going through the motions.  The film’s attempt to comment on the pressing political issues of 2008 — illegal immigration, the war in Iraq, the burst of the housing bubble, the recession — only serve to reinforce how shallow and heavy-handed the film actually is.  Watching Conspiracy in 2025, the most interesting about it is that the issues it deals with are the issues that, 17 years later, Americans are still dealing with.

With its portrayal of an isolated town and a scarred war veteran looking for a missing friend, Conspiracy has a lot in common with the classic 1955 film, Bad Day At Black Rock.  Now, that’s a film that is definitely worth seeing!

Previous entries in 2025’s 14 Days Of Paranoia:

  1. The Fourth Wall (1969)
  2. Extreme Justice (1993)
  3. The Lincoln Conspiracy (1977)

October True Crime: An Officer and a Murderer (dir by Norma Bailey)


 

Gary Cole is an interesting actor.

He’s handsome in a distinguished way, even if he’s played some roles that have required him to play down his looks.  (Think about his perm in The Brady Bunch Movie or the glasses that he wore in Office Space.)  He’s not exactly movie star handsome but he’s definitely good-looking enough to be the star of his own detective series.  He’s got the authoritative voice of someone who you instinctively trust.  You look at Gary Cole and you see someone who knows what’s going on and who you would probably trust in a crisis.

At the same time, with just about every character that Cole has played, there’s always been a sign of something lurking behind the friendly smile and perfect haircut.  At the very least, there’s usually a hint of a threat concealed behind his polite manner.  Gary Cole is the ideal actor to play a character who has secrets to hide, whether he’s playing Mike Brady as someone who cheerfully offers up nonsensical advice or telling one of his employees that he’s going to need to come in over the weekend.  It’s hard to trust a character played by Gary Cole.  Cole has appeared in a wide variety of films and shows.  As anyone who has seen Veep can tell you, Gary Cole can be a very funny actor.  But where Gary Cole really shines is when he plays the bad guy who no one suspects is a bad guy.

In 2012’a An Officer and A Murderer, Gary Cole plays a very bad guy indeed, Russell Williams.  Williams is a colonel in the Canadian Air Force.  He’s such a highly respected figure that he was given the job of flying with the Queen of England when she last visited Ontario.  Williams has a big house in the suburbs.  He has a beautiful wife (played by Nahanni Johnstone).  His neighbors love him and they all say hi whenever he’s out for his morning run.  Williams had just been appointed the new commander of the local Canadian Air Force base.  He’s a respected and beloved figure who raises money for charity, mentors younger pilots, and seems like the ideal gentleman.

But at night, Russell Williams sneaks out of his house and breaks into the homes and apartments of single women.  He starts out as an underwear thief, obsessively cataloging all of the bras and the panties that he steals from each house.  Unknown to his wife, he has two suitcases filled with stolen underwear.  Occasionally, he even wears them himself.  The two detectives (played by Laura Harris and Rossif Sutherland) who investigate the break-ins theorize that the perpetrator is going to start to escalate his activities and Williams soon does just that. Williams assaults a young mother, blindfolding her and then filming her while he poses with her.  He breaks into another house and removes his clothes while he stares at the homeowner showering just a few feet away.  Eventually, two women are murdered.  The detectives suspect Russ but can they get him to slip up and give them the evidence that they need to arrest him?

An Officer and A Murderer is based on a true story, which makes it all the more disturbing to watch as Williams breaks into his neighbor’s homes and even tries to frame an innocent man for his crimes.  Watching this movie, I found myself wondering about all of the neighbors that I’ve had over the years.  Part of living in neighborhood is trusting the people around you but how well do we know the people who are living just a few houses or a few apartment away from us?  An Officer and a Murderer tells a sordid story and occasionally, it lingers over the details of Williams’s crimes to such an extent that you worry that Williams’s real-life victims are being exploited all over again.  That’s always an issue with films about real-life crimes.  That said, Gary Cole gave a genuinely frightening performance as Russell Williams and, if nothing else, the film reminded me to make sure that all of my doors and windows are locked tonight.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.22 “Trust Fund Pirates”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, things get weird in Miami!

Episode 2.22 “Trust Fund Pirates”

(Dir by Jim Johnston, originally aired on May 2ns 1986)

Pirate radio DJ Captain Hook (Richard Belzer) sits on his yacht in international waters and broadcasts music to Miami while, at the same time, brokering drug deals among other yacht owners.  His assistant is Noogie (Charlie Barnett), the informant who was all over the place during Miami Vice’s first season but who, up until this episode, was absent from the second season.

On another yacht, a group of Bolivians are gunned down by preppy young men who are led by Ivy League dropout Skip Mueller (Perry Lang).  Skip and his buddies brag about being pirates and cheerfully make jokes while standing over the bodies of the men and the women that they killed.

A seaplane pilot named Jackson Crane (a young Gary Cole) raids the Bolivian yacht and takes some of the boat’s equipment home with him.  Jackson is a longtime drug smuggler who claims that he’s on the verge of retirement.  He’s dating a woman named Lani (Nicole Fosse), who happens to be Skip’s sister.

In a trailer park, Jumbo (Tommy Chong) and his wife Fluffy (Denny Dillon) keep a running tally of how many rats they’ve killed while trying to buy drugs and fence stolen goods.  Jumbo calls everyone “man.”  Fluffy is good with a shotgun.

And, in the middle of all this, we’ve got two aspiring drug dealers named Burnett and Cooper.  Burnett and Cooper, of course, are actually Crockett and Tubbs.  Just two episodes ago, one of Miami’s fiercest drug lords figured out that Burnett and Cooper are actually cops but I guess he decided not to tell anyone, despite the fact that he still thinks Crockett owes him money.

It’s a bizarre episode, full of strange characters and a plot that has so many double-crosses that it’s hard to keep track of who is betraying who.  The episode was originally intended to be a sequel to Smuggler’s Blues, with Glenn Frey once again playing Jimmy the Pilot.  When Frey couldn’t fit a return appearance into his schedule, the script was rewritten to feature Gary Cole as a friend of Jimmy’s.  That said, it’s still obvious that the script was originally written more to highlight a popular guest star than to tell a totally coherent story.

Fortunately, Miami Vice works best when its a bit incoherent.  One the major themes of the show is that no one can be trusted and that everyone is willing to betray everyone else.  The world of Miami Vice is often illogical because it’s a world full of illogical people who tend to do whatever pops into their head at any given moment.  Another major theme is that everyone either wants to get rich from selling drugs or they’re just adrenaline junkies who get a high from being involved in the underground.  Skip and his friends are rich.  They just enjoy killing people and pretending to be gangsters.  This is one of the more violent and bloody episodes of Miami Vice.  Skip and his friends enjoy their work a little too much.

It’s a good episode and well-acted.  Gary Cole was considered for the role of Crockett before Don Johnson got the part and, in this episode, it’s easy to see why.  Even as a young actor, Cole has a rugged cynicism to him that’s both dangerous and compelling.  Perry Lang appeared in a lot of dumb teen comedies in the 80s, usually playing dorky nice guys.  He’s absolutely chilling as the sociopathic Skip Mueller.  And finally, there’s Richard Belzer, wearing an eyepatch, opening the episode by rapping with Noogie, and encouraging the criminals of Miami to enjoy some good music while breaking the law.  Full of strange characters and shocking violence, this episode captures the idea of Miami being a surreal playground for the rich, ruthless, and crazy.

Next week, season 2 comes to an end!

Retro Television Review: For My Daughter’s Honor (dir by Alan Metzger)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1996’s For My Daughter’s Honor (a.k.a. Indecent Seduction)!  It  can be viewed on YouTube, Tubi, and Prime.

Welcome to Tate, Oklahoma.

It’s a nice little town in what is usually referred to as being the heartland of America.  It’s a place where the streets are clean, the people are friendly, and where everyone roots for the local high school football team.  That makes Coach Pete Nash (Gary Cole) a pretty important person in Tate.  At a start-of-the-year pep rally, the football team is introduced as “Oklahoma’s team” and that would make Pete Nash Oklahoma’s coach.  Make no mistake about it, they love football in Oklahoma.  They love it almost as much as we love it in Texas.

Coach Nash also teaches Biology and he’s known for being the cool teacher that all of the students like to hang out with.  Soon, Nash is hanging out with 14 year-old Amy Dustin (Nicholle Tom) and Amy’s friends, Kelly (Allyson Hanigan) and Kimberly (Sara Rue).  With Coach Nash, they all get to drink beer.  They get to break into the school library and have fun with the copy machine.  Coach Nash sends Amy flirty little notes and she writes back.  Nash even encourages his daughter to invite Amy over for a sleepover so that she can lose her virginity.  Yikes!

Amy’s mother (Mary Kay Place) and her father (Mac Davis) both have their concerns about the amount of time that Amy is spending with Coach Nash.  Amy’s father is especially upset when he hears that Coach Nash threw a fit after he saw Amy dancing with a boy her own age.  But everyone in town tells them that they’re being paranoid and that Coach Nash is a good guy who just happens to be very close to his students.  He’s a family man and he’s a good football coach and that’s all that matters.

Though the names and the central location have all been changed, For My Daughter’s Honor is based on a true story.  The actual events took place in Texas and, as happens in the movie, the parents of the victim ended up suing the school district for failing to do anything about the predatory teacher.  The film certainly does capture the feeling of living in a small community where everyone thinks that they know everyone else and where people often choose not to believe what is obviously happening right in front of them.  Coach Nash makes no effort to hide his activities but he gets away with it because no one wants to confront what’s going on.  It’s easier to just say that Coach Nash is a passionate teacher or that he’s someone who lets his emotions get the better of him.  For many in the town, it’s easier to blame Amy and her family than it is to hold Coach Nash responsible for his own actions.

Gary Cole gives a strong performance as Coach Nash and is equally believable whether being blandly affable or obsessively creepy.  One of the reasons why this film works is because everyone has had at least one Coach Nash in their lives, that person who seems friendly but just gives off a strange vibe.  In the end, this is a film that says that it’s okay to be concerned.

The Unnominated: Office Space (dir by Mike Judge)


Though the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences claim that the Oscars honor the best of the year, we all know that there are always worthy films and performances that end up getting overlooked.  Sometimes, it’s because the competition too fierce.  Sometimes, it’s because the film itself was too controversial.  Often, it’s just a case of a film’s quality not being fully recognized until years after its initial released.  This series of reviews takes a look at the films and performances that should have been nominated but were, for whatever reason, overlooked.  These are the Unnominated.

The other night, Erin and I started a new Labor Day weekend tradition of watching the 1999 comedy, Office Space.

As we watched Mike Judge’s first live-action film, it occurred to me that Office Space is a film that unites all of my friends.  It doesn’t matter whether they work in an office like Peter (Ron Livingston), Samir (Ajay Naidu), or Michael Bolton (David Herman) or if they work in a restaurant like Joanna (Jennifer Aniston) or even if they’re an independent contractor like Peter’s loud neighbor, Lawrence (Diedrich Bader).  It doesn’t matter if they would rather be fishing like Peter or watching reruns of Kung Fu like Joanna.  Everyone that I know has said that they can relate to Office Space.  Everyone has had to deal with a passive-aggressive jerk of a boss like Bill Lumbergh (Gary Cole).  Everyone has known a crazy co-worker like the red stapler-obsessed Milton (Stephen Root).  Everyone dreads the arrival of consultants like the Bobs (John C. McGinely and Paul Willson).  Everyone resents being told that doing the bare minimum is not enough, whether it’s just sitting in your cubicle or wearing 15 pieces of flair.  Everyone dreams of sleeping late and not stressing about TPS reports.  Everyone dreams of screwing over their company in a way that’s so clever that they’ll never be caught.  (And I think everyone secretly knows that they would screw it up by putting a decimal point in the wrong place.)  Everyone wants to destroy the oldest and least reliable piece of equipment at work.  Everyone wants to feel like they can just announce that they’re going to quit and spend the rest of their life doing what they would do if they had a million dollars.

Considering the fact that the film has now become universally beloved, it’s interesting that Office Space opened to mixed reviews and middling box office.  The studio wasn’t sure how to sell a live action film from the director of Beavis and Butt-Head and King of the Hill and many critics focused on the film’s rather loosely-constructed, episodic narrative and overlooked the fact that the film captured all of the small details that drive people crazy about their work.  Audiences, though, discovered the film on video and undoubtedly enjoyed watching it after a long day of dealing with their own annoying boss.  The film’s star, Ron Livingston, has said that many people have approached him and told him that he inspired them quit their jobs.  “That’s kind of a heavy-load to carry.”

For a film that centers around office workers updating data so that computer systems don’t cash in 2000, Office Space has aged remarkably well.  Ron Livingston, David Herman, and Ajay Naidu are an instantly sympathetic and likable trio of nerdy heroes.  Stephen Root’s panic as he realizes that he will be the only employee not to get a piece of cake remains both poignant and funny.  Gary Cole is still the boss from Hell.  I still laugh at John C. McGinley’s rage when his praise of Peter as a “straight-shooter with upper management potential” is dismissed by Peter’s boss.  We can all relate to Jennifer Aniston’s dislike of flair and her hatred for Brian (Todd Duffey).  The jump to conclusion mat would probably be even more popular today than back in 1999.

Of course, Office Space was not nominated for any Oscars.  That’s not really a shock.  It’s an episodic comedy that was directed by a Texas filmmaker who was, at the time, best-known for a cartoon about two brain-dead teenagers.  Obviously, it wasn’t going to be nominated for anything, even though I think more people have probably watched Office Space over the past few days than have watched American Beauty.  Oscars aren’t everything, though.  Office Space remains both a great work film and a great Texas film.

Previous entries in The Unnominated:

  1. Auto Focus 
  2. Star 80
  3. Monty Python and The Holy Grail
  4. Johnny Got His Gun
  5. Saint Jack

Film Review: In The Line of Fire (dir by Wolfgang Petersen)


Earlier today, it was announced that director Wolfgang Petersen had passed away.  He was 81 years old and had been suffering from pancreatic cancer.  Though Petersen started his career making films in his native Germany (and his 1981 film, Das Boot, remains the most Oscar-nominated German film of all time), Petersen eventually relocated to Los Angeles and established himself as a very successful director of thrillers and star-filled action films.

Last month, I watched one of Petersen’s films.  First released in 1993, In The Line of Fire stars Clint Eastwood as Frank Horrigan.  Frank is a veteran member of the Secret Service, still serving at a time when almost all of his colleagues have either retired or died.  When we first meet Frank, he and his new partner, Al (Dylan McDermott), are arresting a gang of counterfeiters and Frank (and the then 63 year-old Eastwood) is proving that he can still take down the bad guys.

But is Frank still up to protecting the President?  Of the agents that were with President Kennedy when he was assassinated in 1963, Frank Horrigan is the last one standing.  He’s the only active secret service agent to have lost a president and he’s haunted by what he sees as being his failure to do his job and the feeling that America has never recovered from Kennedy’s death.  Also obsessed with Frank’s history is a mysterious man who calls himself Booth.  Booth (played by John Malkovich, who received an Oscar nomination for his performance) starts to call Frank.  He informs Frank that he’s planning on assassinating the president, who is currently traveling the country as a part of his reelection bid.  Booth views Frank as being a worthy adversary and Frank, looking for redemption, requests to be returned to the Presidential Protective Division.

While Frank struggles to keep up with both the President and the younger agents, Booth slowly and methodically puts his plan in motion.  He builds his own wooden gun and tries it out on two hunters who are unfortunate enough to stumble across him.  Making a heart-breaking impression in a small role, Patrika Darbo plays the bank teller who, unfortunately, comes a bit too close to uncovering Booth’s secret identity.  Booth is friendly and sometimes apologetic and he quickly shows that he’s willing to kill anyone.  It’s a testament to both the skill of Malkovich’s performance and Petersen’s direction that the audience comes to believe that there’s a better than average chance that Booth will succeed.  He just seems to have such a strong belief in himself that the audience knows that he’s either going to kill the President or that he’s going to willingly die trying.

Meanwhile, no one believes in Frank.  The White House Chief of Staff (Fred Dalton Thompson, later to serve in the Senate and run for President himself) views Frank as being a nuisance.  The head of the detail (Gary Cole) thinks that Frank should be put out to pasture.  Only Lilly Raines (Rene Russo), another agent, seems to have much faith in Frank.  While Frank is hunting Booth, he falls in love with Lilly and she with him.  (Fortunately, even at the age of 63, Eastwood still had enough of his old Dirty Harry charisma that the film’s love story is credible, despite the age difference between him and Russo.)  The hunt for Booth reawakens something in Frank.  Just as Booth has a psychological need to be pursued and challenged, Frank needs an enemy to which he can re-direct all of his guilt and self-loathing.  Frank becomes a stand-in for everyone who fears that, because of one particular incident or tragedy, America will never regain the strength and promise that it once had.  (In Frank’s case, that strength is symbolized by his idealized memories of JFK.)  Defeating Booth is about more than just saving America.  It’s about redeeming history.

It all makes for an very exciting thriller, one in which Eastwood’s taciturn style of acting is perfectly matched with Malkovich’s more cerebral approach.  Just as the two characters are challenging each other, Eastwood and Malkovich also seem to challenge each other as actors and it leads to both men giving wonderful performances.  Wolfgang Petersen not only does a good job with the action scenes but also with generating some very real suspense.  The scene in which Malkovich attempts to assemble his gun under a table is a masterclass in directing and evidence that Petersen had not only watched Hitchcock’s films but learned from them as well.

As directed by Petersen and performed by Malkovich and Eastwood, In The Line of Fire emerges as a film that was more than just an exciting thriller.  It was also a mediation on aging, guilt, love, redemption, and the national traumas of the past.  It’s a film that stands up to multiple rewatches and as a testament to the talent of the man who directed it.

I Watched Forever Strong (2008, dir. by Ryan Little)


Rick Penning (Sean Faris) is the captain of his high school rugby team and the team’s highest scorer.  He’s also the son of the team’s coach (Neal McDonough).  Coach Penning is obsessed with winning at all costs and refuses to tell his son that he’s proud of him.  Coach Penning believes that emotion equals weakness and that only losers brag about doing their best.  After a loss to the Highland High school rugby team, which is coached by Larry Gelwix (Gary Cole), Rick and his teammates blow of steam by drinking, driving, and crashing a car.

Rick is sentenced to juvie but his case officer (Sean Astin) can see that Rick needs rugby in his life so he arranges for Rick to play with the Highland Team.  At first, Rick resents the new team and doesn’t want to follow Coach Gelwix’s advice on or off the field.  Coach Gelwix makes the team do community projects while they’re not training and Rick says that’s not his thing.  Rick just wants to score points and he doesn’t care about teamwork.  But the team and the coach eventually win Rick over and, once Rick gets over being selfish and starts playing for the team instead of just himself, Highland High starts winning games and Rick becomes the team’s newest captain.  But, when Rick gets paroled from juvie, he’s sent back home to his father, who expects Rick to reveal all of Highland’s secret plays and weaknesses.  When Rick refuses to betray Coach Gelwix, his former teammates frame him and get him sent back to juvie.  Rick ends up playing for Highland again, just in time for the state championship and a chance to lead Highland against his father’s team.

Forever Strong had a good message but, from the first minute, I know what was going to happen and how it was going to all end.  The story was pretty predictable and the movie seemed to assume that everyone watching would already know everything that they needed to know about rugby.  At my high school, athletics pretty much meant football.  I don’t think we even had a rugby team.  (If we did, we never cheered at their games, which I feel bad about.)  Whenever everyone in the movie was arguing about the right way to play rugby and which position on the team was the most important, I was lost.  I did like Gary Cole as Coach Gelwix.  He was the type of coach that every parent should hope coaches their child’s team.

Film Review: A Very Brady Sequel (dir by Arlene Sanford)


“I’m tripping with the Bradys….” Roy Martin (Tim Matheson) announces shortly before he passes out in the 1996 film, A Very Brady Sequel.

And indeed, Roy is!  That’s what happens when Alice (Henriette Mantel) discovers a bunch of hallucinogenic mushrooms in your luggage and decides to use them for dinner.  It not only leads to Roy suffering through a cartoon Hell with the Bradys but it also causes Alice to disappear inside of the refrigerator.  The Bradys, however, don’t really seem to find any of it to be strange.  Safely hidden away in their home, the Bradys aren’t aware of things like drugs and bad trips.  They’re more concerned with potato sack races and Cindy’s lisp and Jan’s imaginary boyfriend, George Glass.

A Very Brady Sequel is, as the title suggests, a sequel to The Brady Bunch Movie.  In this one, conman Roy Martin shows up at the Brady House and claims to be the first husband of Carol Brady (Shelley Long).  “This is Carol’s first husband,” Mike (Gary Cole) explains, “He’s not dead like we thought.”  Mike might have mixed feelings about Roy being alive but he’s still determined to be a gracious host.  That’s the Brady way.

Roy wants to steal a priceless artifact that’s sitting in the Brady house.  It’s kind of a silly plot but then again, it’s a silly movie.  The important thing is that it eventually leads to the Bradys flying to Hawaii, where we discover that Carol’s husband was a professor and he disappeared during a three-hour tour and apparently, there’s no chance that he could have washed up on an island somewhere.

A Very Brady Sequel never quite gets the love that the first Brady Bunch movie does but I enjoy it.  Admittedly, it doesn’t have quite the same innocence as the first film.  The focus is much more on Roy and his attempts to swindle the Bradys and, as a result, A Very Brady Sequel can sometimes feel a bit more mean-spirited than the first Brady Bunch film, in which the focus was on the Bradys and their eternal (some would say infernal) optimism.  A lot of the jokes that felt so natural in the first film feel a bit forced in the sequel.  That seems to be the way that things usually go with comedy sequels, to be honest.

That said, there’s enough funny moments in A Very Brady Sequel that it’s a worthy continuation of the Brady story.  For instance, how can you not smile at the Bradys dancing on the airplane while totally oblivious to how annoyed the rest of the passnegers are with them?  How can you not enjoy Jan’s attempts to convince everyone that George Glass is real?  The cast is still likable and Gary Cole still has a talent for delivering the most absurd dialogue in the most deadpan style imaginable.

Add to that, Hawaii looks as beautiful as ever!  Seriously, if you’re ever going to get stuck with a bunch of weird, 70s sitcom characters, Hawaii is the place to do it!

A Very Brady Sequel was followed by The Brady Bunch In The White House, which I would recommend avoiding.

Film Review: The Brady Bunch Movie (dir by Betty Thomas)


“Put on your Sunday best, kids.  We’re going to Sears!”

I’m probably like a lot of people, in that I hate The Brady Bunch as a television show but I love the 1995 film version.  Of course, the film version acknowledges a lot of the things that make the TV show so difficult to sit through.  For instance, whenever I watch the TV show, I’m stuck by the fact that Robert Reed’s Mike Brady is kind of a jerk and he really doesn’t seem to know what he’s talking about half of the time.  Fortunately, in the movie, Gary Cole plays Mike Brady as being kind of a jerk who really doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  On the TV show, I’m always amazed that no one ever points out how dorky Greg Brady is or how no one ever seems to notice that Jan is slowly losing her mind.  The movie, however, is all about how dorky Greg is and how Jan is slowly losing her mind.

“Marcia Marcia Marcia!” Jan (played by Jennifer Elise Cox) exclaims and the audience is instantly divided between neglected middle children and those of us who were maybe a little bit spoiled when we were growing up.

“Johnny Bravo was just Johnny Rotten,” Greg (played by Christopher Daniel Barnes) confesses and it’s tempting to tell Greg not to be too hard on himself but it’s true.  That clown song really sucked and I don’t blame everyone for running away whenever Greg started to sing.

“Your father’s right, kids!” Carol (Shelley Long) says after every one of Mike’s long-winded soliloquies and the film hints that Carol might actually understand that Mike is rarely right but Carol is determined to do whatever needs to be done to keep the Bunch moving forward.  Myself, I’m more concerned by how long it’s taking Carol to read Jonathan Livingston Seagull.  My aunt owns a copy of that book and, if I remember correctly, it’s pretty short.

All of the Bradys (and Alice, too) get a chance to show off what they can do in The Brady Bunch Movie.  They’ve all pretty much got the same quirks as they did in the series but what made them so annoying on television actually makes them rather endearing in the film.  Of course, the film finds the Bradys living in the 90s, surrounded by crime, pollution, loud music, and a dastardly plot to steal their house.  (That’s what they get for living next door to veteran comedy villain Michael McKean).  The thing is that, while the rest of the world is a mess, the Bradys themselves still act and dress like they did on their television show.  They’re literally a family out of time.  That’s not a problem with Marcia, who all the boys love despite the 70s fashion sense and the belief that a hand on the knee is moving too fast.  But the rest of the family definitely sticks out, like a sore but always cheerful thumb.  And yet, because everyone around them is so obnoxious, it’s hard not to appreciate the Bradys and their nonstop earnestness.  They’re an antidote to everything negative in the world.  All they had to do was remain clueless about everything happening outside of their front door.

The Brady Bunch Movie makes me laugh every time I watch it.  It’s one of those films that I watch whenever I’m feeling extremely down.  It’s impossible not to be cheered up when the Bradys start dancing through Sears, amazed by the sight of their faces on television while Mike and Carol carefully examine a virbator in the background.  I’m thankful for this film.  It makes me laugh.

Every day is a sunshine day with the movie Bradys.

The television Bradys can go to Hell.