Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!
Oddly enough, this week’s episode is not available on Hulu. I had to purchase it on Prime. I’m not really sure why this episode — and apparently this episode alone — wouldn’t be on Hulu. The world of Streaming is a strange and arbitrary place.
Episode 1.8 “Tweety and Ralph”
(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on December 20th, 1982)
Dr. Craig is still trying to track down the mysterious Dr. Barnum, the man who says that he’s interested in Craig’s convertible. Dr. Craig is constantly getting messages from Barnum. He’s constantly hearing Barnum being paged on the PA. Craig has become obsessed with tracking down the elusive Dr. Barnum.
Of course, Dr. Barnum does not exist. What started as a practical joke on the part of Dr. Samuels has grown into a hospital-wide conspiracy of people playing with the emotions of the pompous and prickly Dr. Craig. Craig is so obsessed with selling his car that he even cuts his hand while working on the engine. Finally, Dr. Craig’s wife, Ellen (played by William Daniels’s real-life wife, Bonnie Bartlett), confronts Samuels and tells him that she knows what he’s doing. When Samuels hears that Craig cut his hand, he feels guilty. He knows how important a surgeon’s hands are. Samuels finally works up the courage to tell Craig the truth. Craig laughs. And then he punches out Dr. Samuels.
And you know what? Dr. Samuels totally deserved it. Good for you, Dr. Craig!
(Everyone seems to have forgiven Dr. Samuels for causing a VD break-out during the pilot. They’re very forgiving at St. Eligius.)
Meanwhile, the Legionnaire’s outbreak is finally contained, with the culprit being one dirty shower head. Ward 5 is re-opened! Yay! Dr. Westphall celebrates his victory but still comes across as being the most depressed man on the planet. While that goes on, Dr. Fiscus reveals that he now carries a gun so he won’t get mugged in the ER again and Dr. Cavanero considers her decision to devote her life to her career when a friend check into the hospital for hysterectomy.
That said, the majority of the episode centered around Ralph (Richard Marcus) and Jane (Laraine Newman), two psychiatric patients. Jane is pregnant and Ralph is the father. Ralph is a genius who graduated at the top of his class from MIT and who invented his own personal computer. Unfortunately, he also thinks that he’s a bird and has been stealing medical supplies to build a giant nest in one of the supply closets. Jane wants to marry Ralph but, when she and Ralph go out to dinner with Dr. Beale, Jane can only watch in horror as Ralph panics at the sight of a cat. “Caw! Caw!” Ralph shouts as he jumps up on a chair. The cat, for its part, just looks confused.
In other words, the marriage is off. Jane tells Ralph that she’ll always love him but that she can’t be with him anymore. The episode ends with a close-up of Ralph intensely staring at the camera. Uh-oh, that doesn’t look good….
This was a weird but ultimately effective episode. I really shouldn’t have been as emotionally moved as I was by Ralph and Jane’s story. Ralph’s behavior was more than a little cartoonish. But, I have to admit that I felt really sad as Jane said goodbye to Ralph. Richard Marcus and Laraine Newman did such a good job playing the characters that I couldn’t help but be sad that things weren’t working out for them.
Oh well. I guess that’s just another day at St. Eligius….
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu!
This week, the hospital’s in chaos!
Episode 1.7 “Legionnaires: Part Two”
(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on December 14th, 1982)
With one of the wards shut down due to a Legionnaires outbreak, the hospital is in crisis. All of the patients from the infected ward and their doctors have been moved to a new floor and now, everyone is stressed and overworked. Dr. Westphall insists to the Hospital Board that he has no regrets about shutting down the ward and that he did what he had to do. Westphall is vindicated when it turns out that he was correct about the Legionnaires outbreak but he still has to admit that administrator H.J. Cummings (Christopher Guest) has a point about Westphall’s actions causing a panic. Cummings argues that Westphall could have quietly closed the ward without alerting the media. In the end, it doesn’t matter as Cummings explains that he’ll be the one who gets fired over the bad publicity, not Westphall. The episode ends with Westphall returning to his small home, carrying the birthday present that he was supposed to give his son that day. Westphall has dedicated his life to the hospital and it’s obvious that his family has often had to wait until he has time for them.
(I’m starting to understand why Westphall always seems so damn depressed.)
Some people take advantage of the chaos. Two gang members (one of whom is played by a very young Robert Davi) hit Fiscus over the head and steal his wallet after Fiscus stitches up one of their hands. Peter White, eager to get away from his troubled marriage, shows up to work Morrison’s shift for him. Dr. Chandler glares at a nurse that he previously accused of unprofessional behavior. Dr. Craig tries to find someone foolish enough to buy his old convertible from him. And head nurse Helen Rosenthal finds herself being called over and over again to the room of patient Martha Mulvahey (Ann Bronston).
Poor Martha! She has a reputation for being a problem patient, because she’s always calling for the nurses and asking them to do things for her, like wash her hair or raise her bed. Only Helen is willing to put up with Martha but even Helen loses her temper when Martha asks for help putting on her makeup. Finally, Martha breaks down and explains that her arthritis is so severe that she can barely move her hands. She’s a librarian and she can’t even turn the pages of a book anymore. (Excuse me, I think I have something in my eye….) A friend is coming to visit her at the hospital and she just wants to look good for him because she doesn’t want him to remember her as someone who can’t even get out of a hospital bed. Helen helps Martha put on her makeup. At the end of the episode, the hospital may be in chaos but Martha gets to see her friend and that made me happy and brought even more tears to my eyes.
Meanwhile, psychiatric patient Jane Zontell (Laraine Newman) returns to the hospital and checks herself back in for treatment. Dr. Beale (G.W. Bailey) is shocked to learn that Jane is three months pregnant. But it’s only been two months since Jane was last a patient at St. Eligius so that father must be someone at the hospital. Uh-oh.
(Personally, I suspect Fiscus.)
This was a good episode. I cried for Martha. I felt bad for Westphall. I hope someone buys Dr. Craig’s car so he’ll stop bothering everyone else about it. This episode was about how bad things can get at a hospital but, with Martha and Rosenthal, it offered up some hope as well. All in all, it worked.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu!
This week, Peter White continues to disappoint everyone.
Episode 1.6 “Legionnaires: Part One”
(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on December 7th, 1982)
Dr. Peter White (Terence Knox) is perhaps the most incompetent doctor at St. Eligius. Over the course of the first few episodes, we have watched as he’s taken advantage of his fellow residents, been rude to patients, misdiagnosed obvious medical conditions, and complained nonstop about how difficult his life is. Dr. White is struggling to balance the punishing schedule of being a resident with also being a husband and the father to a young girl and a newborn. He’s in over his head.
What’s interesting is that, despite all of his problems, he’s not a particularly sympathetic character and I don’t think he’s meant to be. He’s never going to be a good doctor and he doesn’t have the courage to admit it. Instead of finding a career for which he’s suited, he insists on being a doctor and risking the life of anyone unlucky enough to be his patient. What makes Dr. White an especially disturbing character is that there are probably a lot of doctors in the real world who are just like him. They’re overwhelmed and they make stupid mistakes. I get overwhelmed sometimes too, as does everyone. And, like everyone, I occasionally make mistakes. However, my mistakes usually amount to something like missing a cringey typo that causes me to feel embarrassment until I get a chance to fix it. A doctor’s mistake can lead to people dying.
This week, Dr. White attempts to give penicillin to a patient who is allergic. Fortunately, Dr. Westphall is able to stop White from putting his patient into a coma. Dr. White also manages to lose his hospital-issued pager and, when he’s told that it will cost him $300 to get a new one, he freaks out. A chance meeting with a lawyer in the hospital cafeteria leads White to offer to sell out the hospital by recommending the lawyer to anyone willing to sue because they ended up with a doctor like Peter White. White finally raises the money by donating his sperm. The nurse at the sperm bank says that it’s really generous for a doctor to donate. Not this doctor!
While Peter is screwing up his life, Dr. Westphall is dealing with what appears to be an outbreak of Legionnaire’s Disease in one of the wards. Westphall wants to immediately shut down the ward. Dr. Auschlander and board member H.J. Cummings (Christopher Guest — yes, that Christopher Guest) disagree. However, after another young woman dies of what appears to be Legionnaire’s, Westphall orders the ward to be closed and the patients to be relocated.
Meanwhile, Kathy Martin broke up with Fiscus because she felt their fling was turning into a relationship and Dr. Cavanero dealt with a nurse who disliked her. Neither one of those subplots did much for me, though Kathy is emerging as one of my favorite characters on this show. Before breaking up with Fiscus, she goes to a funeral of a stranger just so he won’t be buried without someone there to mourn him. She wears white to the funeral. One doctor comments that she’s never seen Kathy wear white before. Kathy’s a great character and deserves better than just being Fiscus’s girlfriend.
This episode was an improvement over the last episode I watched. According to the title, it’s also only “Part One” so I imagine there will be some fallout over closing that ward next week. We’ll see what happens.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu!
This week’s episode of St. Elsewhere featured Dr. Craig winning an award. Good for him!
Episode 1.5 “Samuels and the Kid”
(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on November 30th, 1982)
This week’s episode of St. Elsewhere was kind of boring, It wasn’t a bad episode because the show was well-acted and even the boring subplots felt as is they were part of a bigger whole but, especially when compared to last week’s episode, Samuels and the Kid just wasn’t as compelling.
The Kid of the title is Robbie Durant (Jeremy Licht), a young patient who needs to have some minor surgery done on his ankle. Dr. Samuels take a really intense interest in the kid, bonding with him and even offering him tickets to a Patriots football game. At first, it seems like Samuels is just trying to be nice to a kid who is in a scary situation. (When I was growing up, I spent a few nights in the hospital because of my asthma and it always scared me to death.) But, at the end of the episode, it is revealed that Samuels had a son who was Robbie’s age who died in a freak accident. As for Robbie, the operation is a success but he still dies as the result of an embolism. It was sad but, at the same time, I knew Robbie was going to die as soon as he showed up in the hospital. I’ve seen enough medical shows to know.
Dr. Cavanero was at a bed-and-breakfast when she learned that one of her patients had gone into labor and was at her apartment alone. Cavenro had to beg people for change so that she could use a pay phone to call the patient’s neighbors so that she could talk them through delivering the baby. Seen today, the most interesting thing about this storyline is that it takes place at a time when people had to carry around quarters so that they could call each other in case of an emergency. (There is a very dusty old payphone a few blocks away from my house. I assume it doesn’t work and I don’t think it’s been touched by human hands since the 90s — and I’m certainly not going to touch it! — but it’s always interesting to see it sitting there like some haunted beacon of the past.)
Dr. Fiscus continued to have sex with Kathy Martin. Good for them but I really don’t know that I need to spend a good deal of time listening to Howie Mandel talk about his sex life.
Dr. Chandler (Denzel Washington) accused a nurse of being incompetent. Nurse Rosenthal (Christina Pickles) got mad at him for yelling at the nurse in the hospital hallway. Dr. Westphall mediated and agreed to move the nurse to another floor. Denzel Washington is always fun when he’s yelling at people.
There was one very funny scene. Dr. Craig won an award for surgeon of the year and gave an extremely long, pompous, and rather bitter acceptance speech. (The award was a plaster cast of his own hands.) William Daniels played the scene perfectly and I have a feeling that Dr. Craig is going to end up becoming my favorite character. As a bonus, Daniels’s wife, Bonnie Bartlett, appeared as Craig’s wife. By the middle of Craig’s speech, even she had stoppled listening and lit a cigarette.
As I said, this was a little bit of a boring episode. Still, I look forward to the future of the show!
Speaking of the future, this is my last St. Elsewhere review of 2024. My next review of this show will post on January 3rd!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu!
This week’s episode made me cry.
Episode 1.4 “Cora and Arnie”
(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on November 23rd, 1982)
While orderly Luther (Eric Laneuville) practices his karate moves in the hallway and anesthesiologist Vijay (Kavi Raz) composes a letter to his family in India and Dr. Fiscus continues his sex-only relationship with Kathy Martin, four patients learn about life and death at St. Eligius.
One of them is an unnamed man (Lionel Mark Smith) who comes in with a complaint of backpain. Fiscus examines him and discovers that the man has been shot in the back. The man announces that he’s on parole and he doesn’t feel like going back to prison. Fiscus offers to admit him under an assumed name but the man says he already gave his real name to the front desk. The man tries to leave the hospital but collapses from pain and blood loss. Later, when the man wakes up, Fiscus tells him that the bullet has been removed and he’ll be fine. The man says he won’t be fine because he’s going to go back to prison as soon as he leaves the hospital.
Meanwhile, Kathleen McAllister, who has been in a coma ever since Andrew Reinhardt set off a bomb at a bank, finally dies. Reinhardt, when he’s informed of the news, sneers. He doesn’t care that she died. He’s all about the class struggle. (If this show was made today, he’d have thousands of followers on Bluesky.) When Dr. Beale tries to examine him to determine if he’s mentally ill, Reinhardt spits in his face. Reinhardt is convinced that nothing will ever happen to him but, after Kathleen dies, he’s informed that he’s being taken to prison. As Reinhardt is rolled out of his hospital room, Kathleen’s husband (Jack Bannon) appears in the hallway and shoots him dead.
George (Bernard Behrens) and Lillian Rogers (Anne Gerety) are tourists who are visiting Boston. When Lillian faints in her hotel room, George rushes her to the hospital. Lillian says she’s feeling fine but she still goes through a series of tests to determine why she fainted. In the end, the tests are inconclusive. No one can figure out why she fainted so she’s told to just see her family doctor when she returns home. When George and Lillian check out of the hospital, they are presented with the bill for all the tests. George freaks out when he sees that he’s being charged …. $1,380.90!
Now, admittedly, that is $1,380.90 in 1982 money. If George received the same bill today, it would be for $4,517.10. Still, considering all the tests that Lillian had done, that seems remarkable cheap, even by today’s standards. My father died in August and the majority of his medical costs were covered by insurance but his estate is still receiving bills from various hospitals, specialists, and ambulance services. I’ve been told that the same thing happened when my mom passed away in 2008. (Personally, I think if someone dies while in your care, you’ve forfeited your right to be paid.) By today’s standards, having to pay less that $5,000 feels like a bargain!
Finally, and most heart-breakingly, Dr. Morrison takes care of a homeless woman named Cora (Doris Roberts), who comes into the hospital with her companion, Arnie (James Coco). Due to a head injury, Arnie is almost childlike. While Cora learns that a case of gangrene is going to kill her unless she gets her foot amputated, Arnie repeatedly asks, “Can we go now?” In the end, Cora chooses not to have the surgery, leaving the hospital with Arnie. As she explains to Dr. Morrison, someone has to take care of Arnie and she can’t do that with just one foot. When Morrison tells Cora that she’s probably going to die in a year, Cora shrugs and says it won’t be any great loss.
OH MY GOD! Seriously, I was in tears at the end of this episode. The Cora and Arnie story had the potential to be a bit too schmaltzy for its own but Doris Roberts and James Coco both gave such incredibly moving performances that I couldn’t help but get emotionally involved in their plight. And I understood why Cora made the decision that she did. Having been rejected by both her family and society, Cora knew that there wouldn’t be anyone around to take care of her after the operation. So, she decided to accept things the way that they were and spend her last year with the one person who didn’t judge her, Arnie. (I’m getting teary-eyed just writing about it.) Playing out against all the other petty dramas going on at the hospital, this storyline was emotionally devastating.
This was a powerful episode. Watching it, I understood why St. Elsewhere is so often described as being one of the best medical shows of all time.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu!
This week, we get to know a very bad doctor.
Episode 1.3 “Down’s Syndrome”
(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on November 16th, 1982)
St. Eligius is home to several doctors, some of whom are good at their job and some of whom are really, really bad.
One of the bad ones appears to be Dr. Peter White (Terrence Knox), a resident who was in the background during the previous two episodes but who was at the center for a good deal of this episode. Peter has a terrible bedside manner, absolutely no social skills, and his knowledge of medicine appears to be subpar at best. When a homeless man comes in and complains of pain, Peter gives him a dose of potassium that nearly kills him. (Only the quick thinking of Dr. Ehrlich — who himself hardly appears to be the perfect doctor — keeps the patient alive.) Dr. White seems to be overwhelmed and it certainly doesn’t help that his wife is constantly calling the hospital and demanding to speak to him about every little thing. That said, it’s hard to have much sympathy for Dr. White. Yes, he’s overwhelmed but his mistakes nearly kill a man.
I have to admit that, as I watched Dr. Peter White on this week’s episode, I kept thinking about some of the doctors who treated my father after he had his car accident in May. Whenever I spoke to them, they would brusquely answer my questions, usually in technical language that reflected that it had been a long time since they talked anyone who hadn’t gone to medical school. At the time, I made the same excuses for them that I just made for Dr. White. They were young, they were busy, and they were overwhelmed. After my father died, though, I stopped making excuses for them and I instead just accepted that they weren’t very good at their job. And perhaps Dr. White should admit the same.
It doesn’t help that Dr. White is contrasted with Dr. Auschlander, a kind and elderly liver specialist who is battling cancer but who still manages to treat all of his patients with kindness and respect. The episode made it clear that all of the residents should hope to become a doctor like Dr. Auschlander. While Peter snaps at his patients and nearly kills a man, Auschlander takes the time to play cards with a woman who is dying. We should all be so lucky as to have an Auschlander in our life.
Finally, Brian Whitehill (Tony Bill) and his pregnant wife, Denise (Maureen Whitehill) are informed that their baby will be born with Down’s Syndrome. In a scene that brings to mind Icelandic eugenics, Brian suggests that Denise get an abortion but Denise refuses, especially when she learns that she’s going to have a son. (She already has two daughters.) A day later, Brian comes home from work and tells Denise that he’s realized that she’s right and he’s prepared to be the father of a special needs child. Denise replies that she had the abortion earlier in the day. Seriously, what a depressing story! That said, I respected what the show was doing here. The patients are just as important as the doctors.
(And while Denise is getting an abortion, Dr. Morrison is learning that he’s going to be a father and, in contrast to Brian Whitehill, joyfully cheering in the hospital stairwell.)
As with the previous episode, there was a lot going on in the background. Dr. Beale attempted to analyze terrorist Andrew Reinhardt (Tim Robbins), who is still basically acting like an arrogant prick. Kathleen McAllister, the victim of Reinhardt’s attack, is still in a coma. Dr. Westphall gave a tour of the hospital to two community leaders who both suggested that St. Eligius should shut down and move its operations to a wealthier neighborhood. Dr. Fiscus got a blow job in an elevator from Kathy Martin. (“Going down?” Fiscus asked the next guy who got on the elevator.) It was a busy day at the hospital! It was a good episode, even if it didn’t really have any of the big wow moments that the previous two episodes featured. This episode was more about following a few days in the life of a hospital and the emphasis was on the nonstop flow of patients and doctors, some of whom were doing their best and some of whom were on the verge of giving up. In the end, the main thing I took away from this episode was that there may not be enough Aucschlanders to make up for all the Peter Whites.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu!
This week, William Daniels claims the show as his own.
Episode 1.2 “Bypass”
(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on November 9th, 1982)
“Hey, it’s Tim Robbins!”
Yes, the future Oscar winner shows up in the second episode of St. Elsewhere, playing a rich kid-turned-terrorist named Andrew Reinhardt. Reinhardt, who no doubt learned all about Marxism during his first semester away at college, set off a bomb in a bank, killing two people and putting a woman named Kathleen McCallister into a coma. Both Reihnhardt and McCallister have been brought to St. Eligius. While Kathleen’s husband, Stephen (Jack Bannon), sobs in the hallway, Reinhardt acts like a petulant brat in his hospital room.
With the nurses refusing to change his sheets or even give him his morphine shots, it falls to Dr. Morrison to take care of him. Reinhardt is not at all appreciative and Morrison finds himself conflicted. How is he supposed to give proper medical treatment to someone who he despises? Morrison is so conflicted that he even goes to Dr. Westphall. Westphall responds by telling a long story about a time that he fell in love with a patient. I’m getting the feeling that Morrison feeling conflicted and Westphall telling long stories are both going to be regular features on this show.
(The correct answer to Morrison’s question about how he can take care of a bad person is as follows: It’s your job and you’re getting paid to do it.)
This episode also gave the viewer a chance to get to know Dr. Craig, the very talented but very egotistical head of surgery who is played by the great William Daniels. Dr. Craig holds a press conference to inform reporters about the conditions of both Reinhardt and Kathleen McCallister and declares that, despite its bad reputation, “St. Eligius is the place to be!” He then proceeds to get angry when the press is more interested in talking to the surgeon who actually saved Kathleen’s life than to him.
Dr. Craig browbeats a Mr. Broadwater (Robert Costanzo) into getting bypass surgery done. The surgery appears to have been a success but it’s hard to ignore that Craig essentially bullied the guy into getting a major operation, one that could have killed him if the least little thing had gone wrong. Resident Victor Ehrlich (Ed Begley, Jr.) assists in the operation and, at one point, Dr. Craig intentionally head butts him when Ehrlich cannot name all of the arteries leading into the heart. It’s a bit aggressive but, on the plus side, Ehrlich does learn all of the names. Afterwards, Dr. Craig brags about how his own son is following in his footsteps and tells Mr. Broadwater’s son that some day, a new Dr. Craig will operate on him. In other words, Dr. Craig is kind of a jerk but he’s good at what he does and he’s played by William Daniels so it’s hard to hold anything against him.
There were other subplots playing out in the background, the majority of which just seemed to be there to remind us that St. Elsewhere is an ensemble show and that, just because someone isn’t a major character in this episode, that doesn’t mean they won’t be important later on. Psychiatrist Hugh Beale (G.W. Bailey) attempted to learn how to swim and ended up taking a class with a bunch of children. Dr. Fiscus (Howie Mandel, the least convincing doctor ever) held court in the cafeteria and claimed that the hormones used in processing food were causing children to develop earlier than ever before. Dr. Peter White (Terrence Knox) wandered around with a bunch of X-rays and begged everyone he met to help him understand what he was (or wasn’t) seeing. If nothing else, this episode did a good job of capturing the idea of the hospital as being a place that’s always busy.
For the most part, though, it was Dr. Craig who carried this episode. While Morrison and Westphall ponderously considered the implications of doing their jobs, Craig was an arrogant, angry, and brilliant dynamo and William Daniels’s high-energy performance was a pleasure to watch. Whenever the episode started to slow down, Dr. Craig would liven things up by yelling at someone. The hospital was lucky to have Dr. Craig and St. Elsewhere was lucky to have William Daniels.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu!
When I started reviewing Homicide, Jeff suggested that I should also review St. Elsewhere because the two shows shared a similar sensibility and a lot of behind-the-scenes personnel. (Homicide showrunner Tom Fontana started out as a writer on St. Elsewhere.) Apparently. a few characters from St. Elsewhere would eventually cross-over to Homicide. Since I’m planning on soon reviewing two shows that were descended from Homicide — Oz and The Wire — it only seemed right to also review a show that was Homicide’s ancestor.
Though the show aired largely before my time, St. Elsewhere is definitely a show that I have heard about. Everyone who follows American pop culture has either read about or seen the show’s infamous final episode and knows about the Tommy Westphall Universe Hypothesis. Obviously, I can’t get into it now because that would be a spoiler but we’ll discuss it when the time comes!
For now, let’s start at the beginning, with the pilot!
Episode 1.1 “Pilot”
(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on October 26th, 1982)
St. Eligius is a hospital in Boston that has obviously seen better days. From the outside, it looks old. On the inside, the hallways have the dim and dull look of a building that hasn’t been renovated in over ten years. As Dr. Mark Craig (William Daniels, long before he played Mr. Feeney on Boy Meets World) angrily puts it, the hospital gets no respect in Boston. It’s seen as being a “dumping ground” for patients who can’t afford anything better. Dr. Craig is world-renowned heart surgeon whose wealthy patients have donated what few improvements the hospital has seen over the past few years. (“All of our clocks now read the same time!” Dr. Craig brags at one point.) But not even Dr. Craig can change the hospital’s reputation as being secondary to Boston General.
There are actually a few good things about St. Eligius. For one thing, a young Denzel Washington is on staff, playing resident Phillip Chandler. Denzel doesn’t get to do much in the pilot but still, his presence fills the viewer with confidence. St. Eligius is also home to a world-renowned liver specialist, Dr. Daniel Auschlander (played by Norman Lloyd, who also worked with Hitchcock and Orson Welles). Auschlander has liver cancer but the hospital chief-of-staff, Dr. Donald Westphall (Ed Flanders), assures everyone that Auschlander will probably “out live us all.” (And he was right, to an extent. Norman Lloyd lived to be 106 years old before passing away in 2021. Ed Flanders died, tragically by suicide, in 1995.) St. Eligius is a teaching hospital and the residents want to make a good impression by keeping their patients alive. That’s always a good thing.
At the same time, how secure can you feel when Howie Mandel is one of the residents? Mandel plays Dr. Wayne Fiscus, who wears a baseball cap and acts …. well, he acts a lot like Howie Mandel. Like Washington, Mandel doesn’t do a lot in the pilot. He does get a subplot where he apparently has sex in the morgue with goth pathologist Cathy Martin (Barbara Whinnery) but otherwise, we don’t see him treating a patient or anything like that. Still, it’s a bit jarring to see Howie Mandel as a doctor. I would not necessarily want him for my doctor because he’s to be easily distracted. Maybe he’ll change my mind as the series progresses.
Speaking of sex, Dr. Ben Samuels (David Birney) has gonorrhea and spends most of the pilot approaching doctors and nurses and informing them of his conditions and suggesting that they might want to get tested themselves. That’s not exactly the best way to be introduced to a character but it also lets us know that this show is not just going to be about dedicated doctors who spend all of their time worrying about their patients and making amazing medical discoveries. Instead, this show is also about doctors who get venereal diseases. Has anyone checked on Fiscus in the morgue?
(That said, Dr. Samuels does get a scene where he saves the life of a woman who was injured in a terrorist bombing, as if the show does want to make sure that we know that he can do his job, even if he is spreading VD through the hospital.)
The majority of the episode follows Dr. Jack Morrison (David Morse), a first-year resident who has been working several 24-hour shifts and who complains, at one point, that he hasn’t seen his wife for days. Dr. Morrison gets upset when a surgeon wants to operate on one of his patients, a 15 year-old girl named Sandy (Heather McAdams). Morrison believes that surgeons always want to cut into somebody. Morrison gets even more upset when Sandy’s mother requests that Sandy be transferred to Boston General, which has a reputation for being a better, more modern hospital. In fact, Morrison is so upset and exhausted that he forgets to file a death certificate for a patient who dies during the night. As a result, it’s believed that the patient, who has a reputation for being violent, has gone missing and is stalking the hospital. Dr. Annie Cavanero (Cynthia Sikes) spends the entire episode looking for a dead man, which at least gives her an excuse to visit every ward and introduce the viewers to the members of the show’s ensemble cast.
Having lost my mom to cancer and now my Dad to Parkinson’s, I was hesitant about reviewing St. Elsewhere. (Actually, I was hesitant about reviewing any medical show.) When my Dad was in the hospital, I felt like I couldn’t get anyone to give me a straight answer about his condition and I often felt the doctors were talking down to me. To be honest, my worst conflicts were with the nurses, one of whom told me that I would have to “lose the attitude” before she would explain why my father had been moved to the Delirium Ward. (It didn’t help that, at the same time my Dad was in the hospital, there was a huge storm that left us without power for a week.) At the same time, there were other doctors who were helpful. The staff at the rehab center that my dad was sent to were also wonderful. I have my regrets about agreeing to hospice care but the nurse who was assigned to my Dad was very empathetic and totally understanding whenever I asked her for a cigarette. (Under normal circumstances, I don’t smoke because I have asthma but seriously, the stress was killing me.) I’m bitter and angry about a lot of what happened but I’m also thankful for the small moments of kindness.
Watching a show set in a hospital was not easy for me but the pilot of St. Elsewhere appealed to me with its mix of melodrama and humor. There was a quirkiness to it that I appreciated. William Daniels made me laugh with his annoyed rant about how little respect the hospital received. Most of all, I cared about whether or not Dr. Morrison would still be alive at the end of his shift. David Morse’s performance won me over. He’s the type of doctor that I would want to have. Well, actually, I’d probably want Denzel to my doctor but Dr, Morrison could assist. Just keep Dr. Howie Mandel away from me. Nothing against him but he seemed to be having way too much fun at the hospital….
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion.
This week, we get a bad fantasy and a good fantasy. Smiles, everyone!
Episode 4.14 “The Chateau/White Lightning”
(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on February 7th, 1981)
The first of this week’s fantasies involves the McAllister clan and the Scroggins clan, two feuding families from Appalachia who both come to Fantasy Island with the same fantasy. They want to find the formula for a legendary type of moonshine called White Lightning. The McAllisters are led by Clora (Carolyn Jones) and include her children, Ruth Ann (Wendy Schaal), Amos (Ed Begley, Jr.), and Otis (Richard Lineback). The Scroggins are led by Norris (George Lindsey) and include his sons, R.J. (Randy Powell) and Bobby Joe (Ernie Lively).
Since both families have the same fantasy and they both want the recipe for themselves….
What? Yes, this the bad fantasy.
Anyway, Mr. Roarke gives them a map that will lead them to White Lightning still on Fantasy Island. The two families race to be the first to reach the still, not realizing that the still is guarded by an old man with a rifle and that old man is Mr. Roarke in a fake beard.
You will probably not be surprised to learn that Mr. Roarke pretending to be a moonshiner is the best part of this fantasy. Seriously, I hope everyone involved with this series appreciated the dedication that Ricardo Montalban brought to bringing even the most ridiculous of scenes to life.
This was a dumb fantasy and, from the minute the two families stepped off the plane, it was obvious that they’re going to end up setting aside their differences and working together. The hillbilly stuff just felt out of place on Fantasy Island. Let’s move on and let’s do so quickly.
The other fantasy is a bit more fun. Vicky Lee (Pamela Franklin) is writing a book about her grandmother, a silent screen actress who died under mysterious circumstances. Her fantasy is to interview her grandmother’s former co-star, Claude Duncan, who lives in seclusion in a Fantasy Island chateau. Mr. Roarke tries to dissuade her from entering the chateau and warns her that her fantasy might be dangerous in ways that she could never imagine. Vicky says that she can take care of herself.
In the chateau, she meets Karl Dixon (David Hedison), who looks exactly like Claude Duncan! She assumes that Karl must be Claude’s grandson but the audience knows better. For one thing, we’ve noticed the statue of Pan in the chateau’s courtyard and we’ve also noticed that its eyes glow whenever something strange happens. It turns out that Claude Duncan and Karl Dixon are one in the same! Claude has remained young by offering up sacrifices to Pan. And it appears that he’s planning on making Vicky his latest sacrifice.
Vickey Lee’s fantasy was silly but entertaining, in the way that the best episodes of Fantasy Island often are. I always prefer the fantasies that have an element of the supernatural and that’s certainly the case with this one. At one point, Duncan even claims that Mr. Roarke has no power in the Chateau, which leads me to once again wonder about who truly rules Fantasy Island. If Mr. Roarke was truly in control of Fantasy Island, why would he allow Claude Duncan to live there? In an interview, Ricardo Montalban suggested that Fantasy Island was a form of Purgatory and that Mr. Roarke was more of a caretaker than a ruler. This fantasy would certainly suggest that to be true.
(The fantasy also features a charmingly weird scene where Mr. Roarke suddenly appears on a television screen in the chateau so he can tell Vicky that she’s in danger. Strange Mr. Roarke is the best Mr. Roarke.)
So, this week gave us one bad fantasy and one good fantasy. Fortunately, the good fantasy was really, really good.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Gun, an anthology series that ran on ABC for six week in 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
Produced by filmmaker Robert Altman, Gun was an anthology series that followed one gun from person-to-person. Each week would feature a new cast and a new story. The show itself didn’t catch on but, because of Altman’s prestige, is still managed to attract some prominent and interesting guest stars during it’s 6-episode run.
The first episode, for instance, brings the gun together with Daniel Stern, Ed Begley, Jr., and model Kathy Ireland.
Episode 1.1 “The Shot”
(Dir by James Foley, originally aired on April 12th, 1997)
The first episode of Gun opens with an unnamed dumbass purchasing a pearl-handed, .45 semi-automatic pistol. When he takes it home, his kids are impressed but his wife threatens to kick him out if he ever fires the gun in the house. Next thing you know, the dumbass is pretending to be Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver and pointing the gun at the television. The final shoot-out from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly leads to the TV getting shot. The dumbass returns the gun. Later, that night, someone breaks into the gun store and steals the gun.
Who stole it? It turns out that it was just a guy who spends his time holding up convenience stores. Unfortunately, his next attempt at a convenience store robbery does not go well, largely due to one aggravated customer. Harvey Hochfelder (Daniel Stern) is already in an agitated state before the robbery even begins. He just wants to leave Los Angeles for Virginia but, before he can leave, he had to stop off at the slowest convenience store in L.A. Harvey loses it as soon as he realizes that the robbery is going to mean his escape to Virginia is going to be even further delayed. When Harvey’s wife (Kathy Baker) enters the store, the robber is startled into first shooting at Harvey and then dropping the gun. The robber runs outside and tries to steal Harvey’s car, with Harvey’s son and dog in the back seat. Harvey grabs the gun and chases the robber down. The robber crashes the car and Harvey holds him at gun point until the police arrive.
Harvey becomes a celebrity. He even appears on the cover Newsweek, with the simple headline, “American Hero.” Hollywood wants to make a made-for-TV movie about what happened in the convenience store, with Harvey playing himself and Kathy Ireland playing his wife.
Unfortunately, the friends of the robber are not happy that Harvey “fingered our homie” (yes, that’s actual dialogue) and they decide that they want to get revenge on Harvey. When they force his car off the road and then pull guns of their own on him, Harvey diffuses the situation by offering them roles the movie. Everyone wants to be a star!
Finally, the day of filming has arrived. Under the guidance of the film’s director (Ed Begley, Jr.), Harvey prepares to climb into bed with a lingerie-clad Kathy Ireland….
Suddenly, Harvey is back in the convenience store, getting shot multiple times by the robber and expiring as a security camera records his final moments. His entire time as a Hollywood star was just a dying fantasy which, honestly, was kind of obvious just by how cartoonish all of the Hollywood scenes were.
Well, as far as first episodes are concerned this was really, really …. bad. Anthology shows are always a bit hit-and-miss and this episode was definitely almost all miss and no hit. As good a character actor as he may be, Daniel Stern overacts to such an extent in this episode that it’s difficult to really have much sympathy for Harvey and the episode’s final twist largely fell flat.
The first episode of Gun is an almost entire …. dare I say it? …. misfire.
Through the Shattered Lens 