Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.3 “Two Balls And A Strike”

Posted on December 5, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, the nurses go on strike. Fire all of them!, I say.

Episode 3.3 “Two Balls and a Strike”

(Dir by David Anspaugh, originally aired on October 3rd, 1984)

It’s another depressing few days at St. Eligius.

When negotiations break down, all of the nurses — except for Shirley Daniels — go on strike. Led by Nurse Rosenthal, they march out of the hospital and join a picket line in the rain. Triumphant music plays on the soundtrack Rosenthal gets on her bullhorn and announces that anyone making deliveries to the hospital will be crossing the picket line and not showing solidarity with the union. Honestly, though? Screw the union. It’s a hospital! It needs supplies. There are people dying inside of that building and they’re not even going to have the dignity of clean linen because of Nurse Rosenthal and her stupid union. And another thing …. Rosenthal is the head of union at St. Eligius. So, why isn’t she marching in the rain and carrying a sign? Why does she get to stand in the doorway and shout at people? Get out there and suffer for your union, you British commie!

Obviously, the show wanted me to be inspired by Rosenthal and the union. Whenever it switched over to the picket line, triumphant music started playing. I’m with Nurse Daniels on this one, though. Daniels didn’t vote the union so why should she have to suffer in the rain? She stays on the job. “Good luck,” Rosenthal tells her, “you’ll need it.” And all I can say to that is that at least Shirley Daniels isn’t deserting the hospital’s patients.

While the nurses are on strike, Dr. Canavero is attacked by a hulking man wearing a ski mask. Canavero is able to fight him off. Westphall and everyone else at the hospital immediately assumes that the man was Peter White but Peter has an alibi. He was in radiology when Canavero was attacked. So, is there a new ski mask rapist haunting the hospital? The first ski mask rapist storyline was pretty disturbing, especially since Peter got away with it. I’m not sure I want to go through a second one.

Dr. Craig and Ellen went to couples therapy. As usual, Dr. Craig got annoyed with the whole thing. There’s really nothing more fun than watching Dr. Craig get annoyed. No one gets annoyed better than William Daniels. Still, it seemed to do Dr. Craig and Ellen some good, with Ellen making plans to go to Hawaii and Dr. Craig acknowledging that he’s not always the easiest person to deal with.

As for Dr. Westphall …. he spent most of this episode depressed. Westphall is always depressed.

This is my final St. Elsewhere review for 2025. Retro Television Review is taking a break for the holidays, so I can focus on Awards Season and Christmas movies! St. Elsewhere will return on January 9th.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 4.24 “The Whole Nine Yards”

Posted on December 4, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

Today, season 4 comes to a close with an episode about two football teams, one struggling and one not. Care to guess which team is going to win the big game?

Episode 4.24 “The Whole Nine Yards”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on April 27th, 1988)

Charlie DuBoise (Dinah Lacey) is a twelve year-old girl who wants to play football. Vince Diller (Beau Starr) is the chauvinistic coach who refuses to allow Charlie to join his team, despite the fact that she can catch and she’s even faster then his son, quarterback Ricky Diller (Chad Allen). Instead, Charlie joins another team, the 0-5 Minnows. Who is the new coach of the Minnows? Mark Gordon, of course!

Ricky has a hard time accepting that a girl beat him in a race and, when Charlie approaches him in a totally 80s arcade, a fight breaks out. Luckily, Jonathan is there to break it up. Ricky apologizes to Charlie while Charlie has a gigantic wad of Kleenex stuck up her nose. The scene goes on for a while and Charlie never removes the Kleenex. It was awkward to watch. Seriously, that’s what nampons are for.

Eventually, Ricky gets sick of Vince and his win-at-all-costs mentality. Ricky talks back to his father and gets kicked off the team. Ricky joins the Minnows and he and Charlie defeat Vince’s team in the big game. Vince comes to realize that the game should be about fun and Ricky and Charlie go to the school dance together.

And so ends season 4 of Highway to Heaven. Shows about girls who want to play football are always weird to me because I’m a girl and I can’t ever think of circumstances in which I would want to play football. But I do think that if Charlie wants to get a head start on getting the concussions that will ruin her adult life, she should certainly be allowed to do so. The main problem with this episode was that Vince was such an ogre and such a terrible father that the show’s happy ending felt false. His son joined another team and destroyed Vince’s undefeated record. The episode ends with Vince saying he’s proud of his son but Vince has been such a monster that his words sound hollow. I’m kind of worried about what’s going to happen when Ricky goes home. Instead of putting together a football game, Jonathan and Mark should have been calling Child Protective Services.

This is my final episode of Highway to Heaven for 2025. Retro Television Reviews will be taking a break for the holidays but this feature will return! On January 8th, 2026, we’ll start our look at the final season of Highway to Heaven.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.14 “Drama Center”

Posted on September 5, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, things get depressing.

Episode 2.14 “Drama Center”

(Dir by David Anspaugh, originally aired on February 15th, 1984)

This week’s episode opens with a disturbing scene in which a woman, trying to get her car to start on a snowy night, is attacked and raped in the parking lot of St. Eligius. The rapist is wearing a green jacket and a ski mask.

At first, I assumed that the rapist was a random lowlife, someone who would likely never be seen again. But then Dr. Cavanero’s wealthy boyfriend tried to force himself on her and I was left wondering if maybe he would be revealed as the man in the ski mask. However, towards the end of the episode, there was scene featuring Dr. Peter White. Having been banned from working in the ER and from prescribing medicine, White is now working in the morgue and, needless to say, he spends this entire episode bitching about it. As the episode ends, we see that Peter is holding a capsule in his hand, suggesting that he is once again abusing drugs. However, I also noticed that Peter was wearing the same green jacket as the man in the ski mask!

This was a good episode, well-written and well-acted. It was also pretty depressing. Dr. Westphall brings his severely autistic, noncommunicative son Tommy (Chad Allen) to St. Eligius so that Dr. Ridley can examine him. Dr. Ridley warns Westphall that Tommy is aggressive and that Westphall might not be able to continue to care for him at home, despite the fact that Westphall’s daughter (Dana Short) is planning on forgoing her dream college to stick around and help. Westphall ends his day reading Tommy a book (“Your mom bought you this book.”) and breaking down into tears and it made me cry a little too.

Meanwhile, a TV crew followed around Dr. Craig for a documentary. Needless to say, they got in the way and they got on Craig’s nerves. The director was played by Michael Richards, who, of course, is best-known for playing Kramer on Seinfeld and then having a racist meltdown when he got heckled at a comedy club. In an episode that was, emotionally, pretty dark, it was almost a relief to get some scenes of Dr. Craig losing his temper with the documentary crew. As someone who knows William Daniels best as the kindly Mr. Feeney from countless Boy Meets World reruns, it’s been a real pleasure to Daniels as the prickly and arrogant Dr. Craig. Dr. Craig wouldn’t have had much use for the Matthews clan and all of their drama.

This was an intense and sad episode. It was St. Elsewhere at its most emotional.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.8 “All About Eve”

Posted on July 25, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, everyone’s got the blues.

Episode 2.8 “All About Eve”

(Dir by David Anspaugh, originally aired on December 14th, 1983)

What a depressing episode!

With tension rising between Boston’s Catholics and its Protestants, threats are being called into the hospital because young Protestant Eddie Carson (Eric Stoltz) is still a patient. (Last week, I assumed Eddie was Catholic but apparently, he’s supposed to be a Protestant. I also assumed his parents were blown up in the pub bombing. In this episode, it was made clear that the victims were his aunt and uncle.) A group of masked, IRA-style terrorists break into Joan Halloran’s home. Joan’s gone at the time but Bobby Caldwell is in the shower and he ends up getting beaten into unconsciousness.

(Wow, did someone on the writing staff have an issue with Irish Catholics?)

Meanwhile, Dr. Westphall has to explain to his several autistic son Tommy (Chad Allen) that their beloved housekeeper has quit and moved away. Westphall’s daughter says she’s going to skip college and stay home to help take care of her brother. While I’ve always known that the widowed Westphall had an autistic son, this was the first episode to actually show us Westphall interacting with Tommy. And, with no disrespect meant to the autistic community, I can understand why Westphall always seems so depressed. Tommy runs and hides in a corner. Tommy hits his father. Tommy demands to know if everyone is going to leave him. By the end of the episode, Westphall was exhausted and I was even more exhausted from watching him.

But Westphall’s angst was not the most depressing thing about this episode. On top of everything else, Eve Leighton died! She didn’t die as a result of the heart that Dr. Craig transplanted into her. The heart was working fine. Instead, the rest of Eve’s body gave out. Being in the hospital initially saved her life but it also shut her off from everything that inspired her to keep living. Dr. Craig was in surgery when Eve coded. By the time he was able to get to her room, she was already gone. And with Eve’s death, that also means that the heart that once belonged to Morrison’s wife is gone as well.

I mean, seriously …. GOOD LORD! It was a well-acted episode. Both William Daniels and Ed Flanders broke my heart. But I seriously had to rewatch Happy Gilmore after watching this show. That’s how depressed it left me!

But that’s life and death in a hospital. Every hospital is home to hundreds of different stories and the majority of them do not have happy endings.

Retro Television Reviews: Murder In New Hampshire: The Pamela Smart Story (dir by Joyce Chopra)

Posted on July 23, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1991’s Murder In New Hampshire: The Pamela Smart Story! It can be viewed on YouTube!

When Pamela Wojas (Helen Hunt) first became engaged to Gregg Smart (Hank Stratton), she thought that they would never get older or settle down to a conventional life. She thought that Gregg would always have long hair and that they would spend the rest of their lives following Van Halen around the country. But then Gregg got a job with a New Hampshire insurance company and he cut his hair. And then Pam failed in her attempts to get hired by the local news station and instead, she ended up accepting a job as the part-time media director at a local high school.

Pam spearheaded the school’s anti-drug campaign and ended up working closely with two students in particular, Billy Flynn (Chad Allen) and Cecelia Pierce (Riff Reagan). Billy and Pam bonded over their shared love of Van Halen and soon, they were having an affair. Was Pam just trying to relive her youth or was she already setting up Billy to murder her husband?

Based on the true story that also inspired Gus Van Sant’s To Die For, Murder In New Hampshire jumps back and forth through time. The film opens with Gregg being shot and killed by Billy and one of his friends. It then cuts to a courtroom, where a prosecutor (Howard Hesseman) tells the jury that Gregg was murdered on the orders of his own wife. A very conservatively and modestly-dressed Pam sits in the courtroom and provides quite a contrast to the far more wild and hedonistic Pam who we see in the film’s frequent flashbacks. While Gregg settles comfortably into life as a suburban insurance agent, Pam continually tries to hold onto her past. While Gregg wins awards for selling the most insurance, Pam tells Billy that Gregg beats her and that he’s dangerous.

It’s difficult to watch Murder In New Hampshire without comparing it To Die For. They both tell the same story and they even use the same flashback structure. But if To Die For presented Nicole Kidman as being a soulless killer who was driven by her obsession with being a star, Murder In New Hampshire suggests that Pam’s main motivation was that she just couldn’t handle the idea of settling down and living a conventional, suburban life. As well, To Die For presented Joaquin Phoenix’s gunman as being someone who was essentially incapable of thinking for himself. In Murder In New Hampshire, Billy is far more active character. Though he is undoubtedly manipulated by Pam, Billy is still portrayed as someone who made his own decision to get involved in Pam’s schemes. If To Die For is a stylized satire of the true crime genre, Murder In New Hampshire is the epitome of what was being satirized.

That said, Murder In New Hampshire is a good example of the true crime genre, largely due to Helen Hunt’s wonderful performance as Pam Smart. Hunt plays Pam as someone who has never grown up and who is so scared of being required to that she’ll even resort to murder to pull it off. While Murder In New Hampshire never quite escapes the shadow of To Die For, it’s still an effective film when taken on its own terms.

Back to School Part II #18: Not My Kid (dir by Michael Tuchner)

Posted on September 3, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Not My Kid, a made-for-television from 1985, opens with 15 year-old Susan Bower (Viveka Davis) in a car with her friends. They’re drunk. They’re stoned. They’re laughing. And soon, they’re screaming as the driver loses control and the car ends up getting overturned! (I’ve had that happen before. It wasn’t fun but I survived with only a few cuts and bruises.) Susan isn’t seriously hurt but, at the hospital, it’s discovered that she has alcohol and drugs in her bloodstream.

“NOT MY KID!” her father, surgeon Frank Bower (George Segal), declares.

“NOT MY KID!” her mother, Helen Bower (Stockard Channing, totally wasted in a thinly written role), agrees.

“Totally your kid!” her younger sister, Kelly (Christa Denton), says before then revealing where Susan hides her drugs. This leads to Kelly getting beaten up by Susan and her drug addict boyfriend, Ricky (Tate Fuckin’ Donavon, decades before playing a hostage in Argo.).

Anyway, neither Frank nor Helen want to admit that Susan has a drug problem so instead, they go to see a smug family counselor who tells them that they are both being too hard on their daughter and that they need to just let Susan be Susan. That sounds like a good (and easy) plan but then Susan runs away and disappears for two days. After she’s finally found, stoned and hiding out in the family’s boat, her parents finally decide to send her to rehab.

The rehab is run by Dr. Royce. Dr. Royce is played by Andrew Robinson and it took me a while to recognize him as being the same actor who played the Scorpio Killer in Dirty Harry. Perhaps that explains why Dr. Royce came across as being such a creepy character. As I watched this movie, I kept waiting for the big reveal where Dr. Royce would turn out to be a murderer or something. That never happened, of course. In the world of Not My Kid, the harsh and confrontational Dr. Royce is the only thing keeping the entire teenage population for shooting up heroin.

The majority of the film takes place at the rehab and it gets annoying pretty quickly. This is one of those places where everything is done as a group activity. Whenever someone says something, everyone in the group replies with, “We love you, so-and-so.” When Susan doesn’t act properly ashamed of herself, the group gangs up on her. “You’re a phony!” someone says. “You’re full of crap!” another person adds. “We love you, Susan,” the group chants.

AGCK! Seriously, the rehab scenes totally freaked me out because it came across less like therapy and more like brainwashing. I spent the entire movie waiting for Susan to escape and when she did, I was happy for her. She may have been a self-destructive drug addict but at least wasn’t a mindless zombie like everyone else in the movie! But then she ended up getting caught by her father and taken back to the rehab.

Meanwhile, her parents are going through therapy as well. Again, it’s all group therapy. When Frank tries to talk about how Susan’s behavior makes him feel, someone says, “You’re a phony!’ Another person adds, “You’re full of crap!” And the group chants, “We love you, Frank.” Okay, to be honest, I’m taking some dramatic license with the dialogue here but hopefully, you get the general idea.

I mean, seriously — I understand that I was supposed to be like, “Yay rehab!” while watching the movie but the rehab came across more like some sort of creepy cult. It reminded me of both a Canadian film called, Ticket To Heaven and a Texas film called Split Image. As I watched Not My Kid, I kept waiting for James Woods to show up as a cult deprogrammer.

Anyway, don’t worry. Everything turns out well in the end. This was a made-for-TV movie, after all. Not My Kid is way too heavy-handed for its own good and it lacks a certain self-awareness. On a more positive note, George Segal does a good job in the role of Frank.

You can watch Not My Kid below!