Malibu, CA will not be reviewed tonight so that we might bring you this special presentation….
My retro television reviews will return next week but, for now, why not enjoy something even better than me discussing my hatred of Malibu, CA? 1982’s Wait Until Dark is a videotaped record of a stage production of Frederick Knott’s classic play about a blind woman who is menaced by three criminals. (I assume it was filmed for PBS. According to Lettrboxd, this aired on television on June 20th, 1982.) This play was famously adapted into an Audrey Hepburn film in 1967. The production below gives us a chance to see how the suspense plays out in a theatrical setting. The cast, including Katharine Ross and Stacy Keach, is excellent!
Monsters will not be reviewed tonight so that we may bring you this very special presentation of 1983’s Have You Ever Been Ashamed Of Your Parents?
Yes, my retro television reviews will return next week but, until then, enjoy this blast from the past. In this hour-long presentation, Fran Davies (Kari Michaelson) is upset when her mother (Marion Ross) takes a summer job working as a maid for a rich family. At first, Fran thinks that Andrea (Jennifer Jason Leigh), the daughter of her mother’s employer, is a stuck-up snob but she soon learns that Andrea is instead painfully shy and that she has parents who are rich but unloving. Meanwhile, Fran’s parents are …. well, I wouldn’t call them poor. The film acts as if they’re poor but, from all indications, they appear to be comfortably middle class. The point is that they’re not rich but they are loving.
This is worth watching for Jennifer Jason Leigh’s performance as Andrea, a character to whom I could relate. It’s not easy being both shy and beautiful. Fans of great character actors will also be happy to see James Karen, playing Andrea’s father.
Now, without further ado, here is Have You Ever Been Ashamed Of Your Parents?
“The Love Boat will not be reviewed tonight so that we might bring you this special presentation….”
My Retro Television Reviews, including my reviews of The Love Boat, will return next week. For now, let’s enjoy a blast from the past. First aired in 1973, Don’t Call me Mama Anymore was the second television special to feature Cass Elliott. Like the first one, it was essentially a pilot for a weekly variety show. This special was a far better showcase for Cass Elliott and it actually led to her getting a show for the 1974 season. Unfortunately, Cass passed away in London before filming began.
For now, here is Don’t Call Me Mama Anymore, featuring Cass Elliott, Joel Grey, Michelle Phillips, and Dick Van Dyke.
Pacific Blue will not be reviewed this week so that we might bring you this special broadcast of 1982’s Rock It’s Your Decision!
Jeff (Ty Taylor) has been challenged to think about the music he listens to and to only listen to Christian music for a few weeks. Jeff takes the challenge and, in the film’s climatic speech, he reveals that even Barry Manilow is a servant of the Devil. This film is dated, incredibly silly, and oddly watchable. It might have had more impact if the lead character wasn’t so dorky. “I love a get down beat!” I love the way his voice cracks when he shouts, “Do you think I’m sexy?”
Pacific Blue will return next week. For now, check out Rock It’s Your Decision!
Normally, this is where and when I would post my weekly review of Fantasy Island but, due to this being a busy week, my Retro Television Reviews are on break until Sunday. Fear not, though, we have alternative programming!
From 1969, it’s The Mama Cass Television Program! This was actually meant to be a pilot for a variety show that would have been hosted by Mama Cass Elliott, formerly of the Mamas and the Papas. For that reason, there’s some comedy bits along with Cass singing. Keep an eye out for Martin Landau! The comedy, to be honest, is a bit cringey but it really doesn’t matter when you’ve got Cass Elliott and her amazing voice.
Fantasy Island will return next week but for now….
In the late 60s, The Velvet Underground often performed at the Boston Tea Party, a concert venue in — you guessed it! — Boston. Lou Reed described the Boston Tea Party as being the band’s favorite place to play and the Velvets’ performances at the venue would eventually become legendary. The Velvet Underground would attract an audience made up of bikers, Harvard students, MIT Students, Northeastern Students, celebrities, and a young Jonathan Richman.
In 1967, artist Andy Warhol attended a performance and filmed the show. He got 33 minutes of footage, one that doesn’t quite work as a concert film but which does work marvelously as a time capsule. While the music itself is often distorted (and this is not the film to watch if you’re wanting to hear your favorite songs performed live), Warhol’s camera does capture the feel of the psychedelic 60s, complete with strobe lights, sudden zoom shots, and an audience that alternates between moving to the music and standing still in a state of stoned contemplation. Warhol films like someone who has just gotten his first camera and can’t wait to experiment and see what it can do. The end result is actually rather likable, even if it is often incoherent. The enthusiasm and the excitement of filmmaking and capturing history comes through. When you’re first learning and experimenting with film, there’s nothing cooler than a sudden close-up or a sudden pull back to reveal the size of the crowd. The film finds Warhol having fun with the camera and the footage is ultimately rather hypnotic.
It’s a true time capsule. Here is The Velvet Underground in Boston.
In the 1955 short film, Cindy Goes To A Party, Cindy is upset because she hasn’t received an invitation to a party. Even her dumbass friend Dennis has been invited! Cindy’s mom assures Cindy that her invitation has probably just gotten lost in the mail. Consumed by ennui, Cindy goes to bed at 2 in the afternoon.
Cindy is visited by her fairy godmother who, with the help of her magic wand, transports Cindy to the party and then gives Cindy and Dennis a long list of rules to obey. For those of you who don’t have 9 minutes to watch this film and discover the rules for yourself, here they are:
Be Clean and Neat
Arrive on Time
Leave on Time
Join In The Games (even if the games are totally lame)
Don’t Be Noisy and Rough
Don’t Break Things
Don’t Tease or Make Fun of Others (even if Dennis kind of deserves it)
Obey the Rules of the Game
Be a Good Loser (this rule is specifically given to Dennis because it’s obvious Dennis will never have to worry about being a winner)
Be Considerate
Be A Good Winner (something that Dennis will never have to worry about)
Be Polite
Be Considerate of other (wait a minute, we just did that one)
Remember Your Table Manners
Leave On Time (again, we already did that one)
Thank Your Hostess
That’s a lot of rules! I think Cindy would have more fun just staying home.
This short film was one of the many educational films directed by Herk Harvey. Today, of course, Harvey is best known for directing the horror classic, Carnival of Souls.
Dragnet began as a radio program in 1949 before making it’s way over to television in 1951. Each episode starred (and the majority were directed by) Jack Webb, who played a no-nonsense cop named Joe Friday. Friday narrated every episode, dropping trivia about the history of Los Angeles while also showing viewers how the cops went about catching criminals. Despite what is commonly believed, Joe Friday never said, “Just the facts, ma’m,” but he did investigate each case with the cool determination of a professional who kept his emotions under control. The majority of Dragnet’s episodes were based on actual cases that were worked by the LAPD, hence the opening declaration of, “The story you are about to see is true.”
On television, Dragnet originally ran from 1951 to 1959, during which time Dragnet also became the first television series to be adapted into a feature film. Jack Webb decided to relaunch Dragnet in 1966 and he produced a made-for-television movie that followed Friday and his latest partner, the far more talkative Bill Gannon (Harry Morgan), as they worked multiple cases over the course of one long weekend. That made-for-television movie led to a series that ran from 1967 to 1970.
The second television series is the best-remembered version of Dragnet, beloved for its scenes of Friday and Gannon debating the issues with a motely collection of hippies, campus radicals, and pipe-smoking academics. Jack Webb viewed Friday as being the voice of the common American, who supported the troops, supported the president, and who wanted to spend the weekend grilling in peace. Friday was the middle-aged suburbanite who wanted to the kids to stay off the grass, whether it was on his front lawn or being sold on a college campus. These episodes were often campy. It’s hard not to smile while listening to Friday and Gannon deadpan their way through conversations with flakey long-haired hippies. It was often obvious that the writers of Dragnet had never actually had any experiences with the hippies, beyond what they saw on the evening news. And yet, as silly as things often were, the show is an interesting time capsule of the era in which it was made. If nothing else, it’s a chance to see the turbulent 60s through the eyes of the other side.
Last year, I shared my favorite episode of Dragnet. For the new year, I’m sharing my second favorite, an episode that originally aired on March 19th, 1970. In Night School, Joe Friday is attending a night class where he and his classmates sit in a circle and just “rap” about the issues of the day. No one knows that Joe is a cop but Joe feels that he is still on duty and when he sees that the guy sitting across from him has a baggie of weed in his notebook, Friday makes an arrest. The professor, who says “There’s nothing wrong with marijuana, I smoke it myself!,” attempts to kick Sgt. Friday out of his class. “Would you rather be known as good ol’ friendly Joe, the class narc?” the professor asks. Joe fights for his right to get an education and a man with an eyepatch emerges as an unlikely voice of reason.
Why do I like this episode? There’s something undeniably entertaining about seeing straight-laced, deadpan Joe Friday attending a class with at least three hippies. It always amuses me that, on this show, Joe Friday loosening up just means that Joe trades his suit for a sweater. Also entertaining is Leonard Stone’s over-the-top performance as the villainous professor. And how can you not smile at Bill Gannon’s weary claim of “I just knew there was no way you could get a B sitting around talking?” Or Jack Webb’s delivery of the line, “That’s my thing, keeping the faith, baby?” Or Jack Curtiss’s hyperactive performance as campus drug pusher Jerry Morgan? “Hey, that’s just oregano!” Whatever you say, Jerry.
Today’s blast from the past certainly does feel like a trip in a time machine. Step on in and take a look at California in 1970!
The afternoon hours are approaching and soon, the sun will go down and the trick or treaters will be demanding candy. If you’re still having a hard time reaching the status of being fully alert on this all-important day, why not have some coffee with Boris Karloff? From 1966, here is Boris Karloff for Butternut coffee:
The much-missed Gary Loggins loved Halloween and he loved the old, frequently subversive cartoons from the 1930s. He was a particular fan of the Fleischer Brothers so it only seems right that today, on Halloween, we should share one of those cartoons. Here is 1930’s Swing You Sinners.
In this bizarre cartoon, a dog named Bimbo attempts to steal a chicken. After the police chase him into a cemetery, Bimbo is confronted by ghosts, demons, and apparently death. Shockingly, there is no escape offered in this film. Abandon all hope!
I guess chicken theft was a really huge problem in 1930.