In case you were wondering whatever happened to David Archuleta, here you go.
Myself, I can still remember when David Archuleta was on AmericanIdol. There was actually a lot of controversy when he came in second to David Cook, which always struck me as a bit odd. Archuleta seemed like a nice guy with an okay voice. David Cook actually had talent.
(If anything, this was the season that showed how silly it was to have adult performers competing against teenagers.)
Oh, the Archuleta stans were crazy. I remember posting some very jejune criticism of Archuleta’s performance of Imagine on a message board and getting accused of being a “psychopath” for not enjoying Archuleta’s rather weepy interpretation.
My favorite that season was Jason Castro, just because of how obviously stoned he was.
As for today, Archuleta’s a boring ex-Mormon now. Who didn’t see that coming? This video presents us with Archuleta the angel, which is like whatever. I honestly think it wouldn’t hurt him to get a new management team. Either that or I guess he could become a perennial political candidate like Clay Aiken.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.
This week, an injury leads to the promise of sex …. or does it?
Episode 1.5 “Play Me Or Trade Me”
(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on December 23rd, 1984)
Carl Whitherspoon, the star running back who is always demanding more money, is injured while filming a commercial for a rental car company. (“Call OJ,” the commercial’s director says when it becomes obvious that Carl won’t be able to jump over any more luggage.) The Bulls are struggling and Coach Denardo wants a championship but his star player is out for four weeks!
It’s time to trade! Unfortunately, the only way that the Bulls are going to be able to get the running back they want is by trading their aging quarterback, Bob Dorsey. Dana is upset about losing Bob but then she realizes she can finally have sex with him if he’s no longer a Bull and she decides that she’s okay with the trade.
But then the running back that the Bulls were hoping to trade for is injured so the trade is called off. So, Dana can’t have sex with Bob. But Bob still leads the team to victory. Actually, the team wins because Bubba (Prince Hughes) blocks a field goal with his oversized ass. (That’s not me being rude. Bubba’s weight and the size of his ass is a running theme on this show.) The Bulls are now 5-3 and I guess they don’t need a running back after all.
The main theme of this episode seemed to be that Dana needs to get laid. I liked the chemistry between Delta Burke and Geoffrey Scott. And the scene where Carl injured himself made me laugh just because of Sam Scarber’s over-the-top facial expressions as he crashed into a table. Otherwise, this episode was pretty forgettable.
Have y’all been to Mt. Rushmore? My wife and I stopped by in 2023 on the way home from Yellowstone. It was pretty cool stuff!
I remember as I was driving up to Mt. Rushmore, I saw a sign that mentioned the Alfred Hitchcock movie NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959) being filmed there. I hadn’t seen the movie in many years, so I decided to watch it again when I got home to celebrate the trip. I enjoyed seeing Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint hanging out near the giant rock faces of some of America’s great presidents. In celebration of Hitchcock’s 126th birthday in cinema heaven, I thought I would share that scene with all of you!
Timothee Chalamet plays Marty Mauser, a young man who dreams of being the world’s greatest ping pong player.
Normally, that is not the type of plot description that would catch my attention but Marty Supreme is directed by Josh Safdie, so you know it’s going to be about much more than just ping pong. The cast is also intriguing. Along with Chalamet, the cast includes everyone from Gwyneth Paltrow to Fran Drescher to Penn Jillette and director Abel Ferrara. Is Kevin O’Leary playing himself? Who knows with Safdie directing?
Judging from the trailer, this might be the most intense ping pong film ever made.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
This Week, “Bix”, a sapient robot, enslaves the crew…
I had not seen “The Love Boat” in forever and it’s really more of a variety show because there are all these straight forward/weird plot lines and song or dance numbers. I watched this episode with my daughters and they were quite confused as to why people were making all of these strange choices. My response:
I’m a terrible father
I’m kind of an angry man; so, I will start with the storyline that infuriated me the most. Franklin (Peter Marshall) brings “Bix” AKA Robby The Robot on the ship. First, I dispute that he’s a robot. “Bix” had flashing lights and could say a few phrases, in that case, when I put up my sound sensitive Christmas lights – I have created robots! Second, the phrases he used hinted at a self-awareness that should’ve demanded Captain Stubing to destroy this evil thing! Third, it kept getting in the way of Franklin and Ruth (Karen Morrow) from knocking boots. Listen Bix, these people don’t have much time left and they clearly discovered a proto-Viagra; so get lost- you puritanical robot!
The next storyline was just weird. Steve (Grant Goodeve) who was somehow NOT on the original Battlestar Galactica and his wife Connie (Donna Pescow – Saturday Night Fever) cannot have children; so, they enlist a surrogate. It becomes very clear that no one knows what a surrogate is because they kept talking about how the baby would have the surrogates traits, meaning I believe they thought Steve was going to sleep with the surrogate- the 70s were weird! Connie, the wife, gets jealous because Steve becomes flirty with the surrogate and it all gets mooted because it turns out that Connie is pregnant, but they still slept with the surrogate anyway- just kidding.
The last storyline was all about Two Broke Girls (see what I did there). I found it really very depressing even with the dance number. Betsy (Betty White) was the trustee for Aunt Sylvia (Carol Channing), but it turns out that Sylvia is broke. Sylvia then, hilariously drops her ONLY asset, a diamond necklace, into the ocean, leaving them both penniless. These two intrepid and talented women, desperate for cash, had no choice, but to fight a series of opponents in juvenile-game-themed-death matches in Korea. Sadly, they were the only remaining opponents and had to face off where only one friend would leave with millions of dollars and years of regret! I will have to say that I was impressed with Betty White’s cunning when she was hunting the most dangerous game. This storyline was actually the basis for the Netflix hit “Squid Games”. I am kidding, they actually thought their poverty was hilarious. I did not understand.
4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
One of the all-time great directors in the history of cinema, Alfred Hitchcock, was born on this day in 1899. Today, I celebrate this master filmmaker with some images from some of his best films. Enjoy!
Shadow of a Doubt (1943)Strangers on a Train (1951)The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956)Frenzy (1972)
I went to the same high school as Jessica Simpson!
Of course, I didn’t go there at the same time that Jessica did. Jessica was long gone by the time I started the 9th grade. As well, I actually graduated while Jessica dropped out so she could become a super-rich celebrity instead. That said, I did take a few classes that were taught by Jessica’s former teachers, who all agreed that Jessica was a sweet person. To be honest, most of my classmates made a big deal about being kind of cynical about going to the same high school as Jessica Simpson. You’re never more jaded than you are between the ages of 13 and 18. Myself, I’ve always liked Jessica Simpson because we’re both from Texas and we both occasionally play dumb for the laughs.
Anyway, this song was written when Jessica was going through a very public divorce from Nick Lachey. It’s an empowerment song that also happens to be really depressing, which is really the best type of song there is. There’s something to be said for a good depressing song and a good depressing video.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
This week, the bicycle mayhem continues.
Episode 2.15 “Black Pearl”
(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on January 5th, 1997)
TC arrests a woman named Alana (Angela Shelton) on drug and assault charges, just to discover that she’s an undercover DEA agent. TC fears that Alana is in over her head and he tells Alana’s superior, Enright (John Michael Bolger) that he needs to pull her out of the operation. Enright is like, “Whatever, bicycle boy.”
And, to be honest, I think Enright kind of has a point. Why are the bicycle cops always trying to tell other law enforcement agencies what to do? Every episode, either TC or Palermo and Chris gets a really angry look in their eyes and starts barking out orders at people they barely know. It’s bad enough that they ride bicycles. Do they have to act like a bunch of self-righteous pricks as well?
Speaking of bicycles, Victor has to get recertified to be a bike cop. Uh-oh, sounds like Victor could lose his job! Even worse, Victor’s partner in this episode is Chris so not only is Victor in danger of getting fired but he has to spend an entire week listening to Chris put him down. Seriously, there are few characters in the history of television that I dislike as much as I dislike Chris Kelly. Chris is the type who dismisses everyone’s problems before then launching into her hundredth monologue about how much it sucks going from being an Air Force pilot to a bike cop.
Victor trains with Hans Rhey. In this episode, everyone is like, “Oh my God, Hans Rey!” I had no idea who Hans Rey was. I looked him up after this episode and apparently, he was a superstar on the bicycle circuit. Hans does a lot of clunky bike tricks As was so often the case withe professional athletes who played themselves on shows like this, he wasn’t much of an actor. If anything, this episode reminded me of how stupid most people look riding their bicycles in the middle of the street.
Victor gets recertified. Alana ends up dead. Presumably, TC’s upset but since the actor playing him was only capable of one fascial expression, it can be hard to tell. In the end, the real tragedy remains how dorky everyone looks on the bicycles.
Through the Shattered Lens 