I CAN ONLY IMAGINE (2018) is the story of Bart Millard, the lead singer of the band MercyMe. He also wrote the song of the same name that inspired the movie. I remember when the song was released in 2001 as it immediately became a huge hit. As a person who attended church regularly and listened to contemporary Christian music, I heard it often either on radio or when other people would sing it at church. There was no getting away from the song as it was so popular. I really liked the song, but to be completely honest, it wasn’t especially meaningful to me. I just really liked it as a beautiful song. Fast forward to March of 2018 when the movie came out. 2018 was probably the most difficult year in my life, and I was needing hope. I saw I CAN ONLY IMAGINE at the movie theater, and its message of redemption and reconciliation provided glimmers of hope for me when my life had gotten really dark.

The movie provides us snapshots of Bart’s early life.  We see him at church camp where he meets the girl who would go on to be the love of his life, Shannon. We see him as a boy dealing with the fact that his mother has left the family because she was no longer able to deal with the abusive behavior of his dad, Arthur (Dennis Quaid). We also see how that abuse has extended to Bart himself. We see him as a high schooler (actor John Michael Finley) playing football in Greenville, TX, to try to please his dad. When he gets injured playing football and turns to the school’s music program, we see him hide the fact that he got the lead in the school production of “Oklahoma” because he knows his dad will make fun of him. Arthur is the kind of man who never has a nice word to say to his son. When he does find out about Bart performing in the musical, he tells him that it “sounds like a good joke.” It all boils over when the two get into a fight before Bart heads to church one morning, and Arthur smashes a plate over his head. Bart leaves for good, he thinks.  

With his love of music and great singing voice, Bart joins a band in need of a singer. Now we get snapshots of this portion of Bart’s life as the band hits the road and performs at different places, trying to sell as many of their homemade records as possible. Through sheer determination, Bart is able to convince Scott Brickell (Trace Adkins) to take over management of the band. After traveling with the group for a while, Brickell believes that they have a shot at making it in Nashville, so he secures the band, now known as “MercyMe,” a showcase in front of a group of top record executives. Unfortunately, the executives aren’t that impressed, with one even going so far as to tell Bart that he’s just not good enough. With those words bringing back all of the doubt that his father had instilled in him, Bart decides to quit the band. Sensing that Bart needs to resolve his family issues, Brickell asks him to take some time for himself. Bart asks the band to give him some time so he can go home for a while, not knowing what might be in store for him.

When Bart returns home, he finds his dad Arthur acting really strange… he’s being nice. He makes his son breakfast and then tells him about a project he’s hoping they can work on together, which is the restoration of his old Jeep. Bart doesn’t know what to make of this and even confronts his dad. Arthur tells him that he has become a Christian and even goes so far as to ask Bart for forgiveness for the way he has treated him in the past. Bart refuses to forgive him and gets in his dad’s truck to leave. While looking for the keys, Bart sees papers in his dad’s truck that reveal a terminal pancreatic cancer diagnosis. Discovering this information allows Bart to soften his heart towards his dad, and he even begins the process of forgiveness. The two men would be inseparable up to the point that Arthur passes away. Bart would say of his dad during this time that “he went from being a monster to the man I wanted to be.” At the funeral, Bart’s grandma (Cloris Leachman), who he called Me Maw, tells Bart, “I can only imagine what your dad’s seeing right now.” Ultimately inspired by his Me Maw’s words, as well as his own journey of grief and healing with his dad, Bart would write the lyrics that would turn into the most-played song in the history of Christian radio as well as the best-selling Christian song of all time (linked just below).

Movies that feature relationships between dads and sons always get to me, and I’m not even sure why that is. My dad and I have always had a great relationship. We were inseparable when I was growing up. My dad was my coach in sports, we always worked together on his projects, and he loved to take us fishing. My dad has always shown unconditional support and love towards me, and he continues to do so to this day. Maybe it’s my appreciation for my dad that leads me to this sort of emotional response when those relationships are presented on screen, but I think it’s even deeper than that. There’s a scene near the end of I CAN ONLY IMAGINE where Arthur shares his conversion experience with his son that always makes me cry like a baby. It seems that same day that he smashed that plate over Bart’s head, Arthur listened to his son sing at church on the radio and decided to turn his life over to God. Watching Arthur admit to his faults and become a man who shows great love and kindness to Bart is a beautiful sight to behold. And watching Bart accept that love and show that forgiveness may even be more beautiful. As a deeply flawed Christian myself, I think that’s why this movie means so much to me. I never tell other people how they should live their lives. In my opinion, each person has their own journey, and their lives will be based on their own decisions and actions. But it’s my personal belief that God is in the business of making things that seem impossible, possible, and He does it all while showing unconditional love and forgiveness. I can honestly say that when I’ve been at my lowest points in my own life (here’s looking at you 2018), it has been the process of turning things over to God that has opened me up both spiritually and emotionally to opportunities for meaningful, life-changing connections with other people. This movie tried to tell me that, and my own life is proving it out.

Check out the trailer below: