Gamera Review: Gamera vs Gyaos (dir by Noriaki Yuasa)


1967’s Gamera vs Gyaos opens with reports of multiple volcanic eruptions in Japan.

One small village, in particular, has been effected.  Tensions are already running high in the village because of a road construction project that some of the more traditional villagers oppose.  Making things even more dramatic is that the volcano releases Gyaos, a giant bat that can shoot laser beams from its mouth and which has a habit of eating random people.

Fear not, though!  Gamera, everyone’s favorite atomic turtle, is also woken up the volcanoes and the earthquakes!  As the villagers watch, Gamera battles Gyaos and …. loses big time!  Gyaos manages to injure Gamera’s leg so Gamera spins away and lands in the ocean so that he can heal up.  Unfortunately, while Gamera is busy healing, Gyaos is still wrecking havoc.

Gamera vs Gyaos is entertaining as long as it focuses on Gamera and Gyaos.  One of the more interesting things about the Gamera films is that even Gamera’s opponents were adorable.  On the one hand, Gyaos is a totally destructive killer bat who eats numerous people.  On the other hand, Gyaos is actually kind of cute.

And really, Gyaos isn’t trying to be mean.  He’s just following his natural instincts.  He was hibernating when the volcanic eruptions woke him up.  Seeing as how he had been asleep for over a thousand years, it’s understandable that he woke up in a somewhat foul mood.  One gets the feeling that if all the tanks and airplanes would stop shooting at him, Gyaos would be more than happy to fly off and find somewhere else to get some rest.

And, then there’s Gamera.

Gamera is a flying turtle who is powered by radioactivity and who, for some reason, has become the defender of humanity.  Humanity, it should be noted, never seems to really appreciate everything that Gamera does for them.  Gamera is also pretty adorable.  Watching Gamera fight Gyaos is like watching two housecats pretend to fight each other.  Sure, there’s a lot of yelling, hissing, and eye-poking but, deep-down, you get the feeling that the two of them truly love each other.

This was the third Gamera film.  The second Gamera film was considered to be a box office disappointment so, for the third film, the studio insisted that it be kid-friendly.  As a result, this film devotes a lot of time to Eiichi (Naoyuki Abe), an annoying little brat who keeps yelling for Gamera to come back and protect his village.  Even when Gamera is underwater and trying to heal from his latest battle with Gyaos, he has to deal with little Eiichi yelling, “Hurry up and get better, Gamera!”  Like, seriously, kid — SHUT UP!  Gamera knows when he’ll be ready to fight again.  By the end of the film, even the military is taking advice from Eiichi.  No wonder Gamera has to fight all of their battles for them.

Anyway, I enjoyed this movie because of the monsters.  Not only were their fight scenes entertaining but the monsters themselves were adorable.  That said, Eiichi got on my last nerve.  Hopefully, he’ll find a new hero and let Gamera have some peace.

Previous Gamera Reviews:

  1. Gamera, The Giant Monster (1965)
  2. Gamera vs Barugon (1966)
  3. Gamera vs. Jiger (1970)

 

Guilty Pleasure #85: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (dir by John DeBello)


The 1978 film, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, opens with a title card that would make James Nguyen proud.  It informs us that people laughed when they first watched a film called The Birds.  Then, years later, a flock of birds went mad and started attacking people.  No one is laughing now.

As for the rest of the film, it opens with a housewife being menaced by a giant tomato and then it just keeps rolling on from there.  Something is causing normal, everyday tomatoes to go on a rampage and no one can figure out what.  The government is powerless.  (The government’s competence is best exemplified by a scene where a helicopter crashes.  Reportedly, the helicopter crash was not scripted but the film’s director decided to keep the scene anyway.)  The president puts Mason Dixon (David Miller) in charge of defeating the tomatoes.

The film is one gag and one song after another.  Mason has a group of eccentric people working for him, including a superstar gymnast and a man who is always dragging a parachute behind him.  The streets are soon running red with tomato juice while clueless teenagers continue to listen to absolutely terrible song called Puberty Love….

In the past, I’ve struggled to define how a pleasure can be guilty but I think Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is actually one of the rare films that truly can live up to the label.  It’s a pleasure because it’s just so silly and cheerfully stupid that it’s hard not to smile at it.  It’s guilty because, premise aide, the film itself is never really as funny as you want it to be.  Comedy — even when its something as silly as this film — is all about timing and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes never nails the timing of its gags.  Instead, it plays out like a stoned daydream, amusing to talk about but a bit boring to actually witness.

That said, the film deserves some sort of award for its title and also for going on to inspire not only a few sequels but also a cartoon series.  Producer Stephen Peace went on to have a successful career in California politics.  Good for him.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

  1. Half-Baked
  2. Save The Last Dance
  3. Every Rose Has Its Thorns
  4. The Jeremy Kyle Show
  5. Invasion USA
  6. The Golden Child
  7. Final Destination 2
  8. Paparazzi
  9. The Principal
  10. The Substitute
  11. Terror In The Family
  12. Pandorum
  13. Lambada
  14. Fear
  15. Cocktail
  16. Keep Off The Grass
  17. Girls, Girls, Girls
  18. Class
  19. Tart
  20. King Kong vs. Godzilla
  21. Hawk the Slayer
  22. Battle Beyond the Stars
  23. Meridian
  24. Walk of Shame
  25. From Justin To Kelly
  26. Project Greenlight
  27. Sex Decoy: Love Stings
  28. Swimfan
  29. On the Line
  30. Wolfen
  31. Hail Caesar!
  32. It’s So Cold In The D
  33. In the Mix
  34. Healed By Grace
  35. Valley of the Dolls
  36. The Legend of Billie Jean
  37. Death Wish
  38. Shipping Wars
  39. Ghost Whisperer
  40. Parking Wars
  41. The Dead Are After Me
  42. Harper’s Island
  43. The Resurrection of Gavin Stone
  44. Paranormal State
  45. Utopia
  46. Bar Rescue
  47. The Powers of Matthew Star
  48. Spiker
  49. Heavenly Bodies
  50. Maid in Manhattan
  51. Rage and Honor
  52. Saved By The Bell 3. 21 “No Hope With Dope”
  53. Happy Gilmore
  54. Solarbabies
  55. The Dawn of Correction
  56. Once You Understand
  57. The Voyeurs 
  58. Robot Jox
  59. Teen Wolf
  60. The Running Man
  61. Double Dragon
  62. Backtrack
  63. Julie and Jack
  64. Karate Warrior
  65. Invaders From Mars
  66. Cloverfield
  67. Aerobicide 
  68. Blood Harvest
  69. Shocking Dark
  70. Face The Truth
  71. Submerged
  72. The Canyons
  73. Days of Thunder
  74. Van Helsing
  75. The Night Comes for Us
  76. Code of Silence
  77. Captain Ron
  78. Armageddon
  79. Kate’s Secret
  80. Point Break
  81. The Replacements
  82. The Shadow
  83. Meteor
  84. Last Action Hero

Music Video of the Day: Careful What You Wish For by Bad Omens (2018, directed by Orie McGinniss)


“Careful what you wish for” is a frequent horror theme.  We all know that, when the monkey paw curls its finger, we might think it’s a positive thing but the opposite usually turned out to be true.  Did you wish for someone in a box?  Who wished for someone in a box?

This music video was one of the many Bad Omens videos directed by Orie McGinness, who has also done videos for Warbringer, Dayshell, Afterlife, Gideon, American Sin, and a host of others.

Enjoy!

Horror Game Review: 331 Oakmont Drive (Yunakitty, Choose Your Story)


Before I review this game, I have to give a shout-out to the community at Choose Your  Story.  I play a lot of online interactive fiction games and I spend time on a lot of different gaming sites.  Some of them are good.  Most of them are not.  However, the games at Choose Your Story have been consistently good and enjoyable to play and read.  The games follow the Choose Your Own Adventure format and it’s obvious that most of the writers put a good deal of effort into their stories.  The community, as well, seems to offer up constructive criticism and really, the entire site feels like an antidote to all of the terrible things that you usually come across online.  Whenever I play some overly long Twine game that was written by someone who clearly gave more thought to their background music than to actually coming up with a decent storyline, it makes me appreciate the work being done at Choose Your Story.

As for 331 Oakmont Drive, it’s an enjoyable horror storygame that is perfect for the Halloween season.  You are a college student who, along with your friend Sophie, makes extra money cleaning other people’s houses.  You have been hired to clean 331 Oakmont Drive but you have a bad feeling about the place as soon as you arrive.  Do you stay in the house and do the job (you do need the money) or do you immediately try to leave?  Either choice will take you on a different journey through 331 Oakmont Drive.  This game has several endings.  Some are happy, most are not.  With many rooms to explore (and try to escape) and many macabre fates possibly waiting, this is one of those games that can be played over and over again.  The game is entertaining, it’s well-written, and some thought was actually put into the story.  It’s a game that will get you in the mood for the Halloween season.

Play 331 Oakmont Drive here!

So, I Watched Head Cheerleader Dead Cheerleader (2000, Dir. by Jeff Miller)


Heather Connelly (Tasha Biering) is the head cheerleader at her high school.  The football team is struggling and some people think that it is because they have been jinxed by their terrible cheer squad.  One night, while she is at home alone, Heather keeps getting calls from a stalker while someone kills the cheer coach and all of the other cheerleaders.  The budget is low and the acting is terrible but the killer carries a sharp blade and every kill features a close-up of a body part getting cut off so if you’re into that, I guess this movie is for you.

There were two things that stood out about this movie.  Blaming the cheer squad for your football team sucking is not cool but it is something that happens.  I cheered in high school and we always took more blame for our team losing than the team itself did.  It was weird because we really weren’t even a big sports school.  We didn’t even have our own athletic field.  Our football team had to go over to our rival high school to practice!  But somehow, it was the cheerleaders who got all the dirty looks whenever the team went o-10.

Secondly, the movie opens with a voice mail to the director for a cheer mom threatening to sue him if “your movie Head Cheerleader Dead Cheerleader” led to any trouble for her daughter’s cheer squad.  I have no doubt that the voice mail was real because I met a lot of crazy cheer moms when I was in high school.  You know those stories you hear about mothers who get so invested in their daughter’s cheerleader career that they tribe to bribe the cheer coach or hire a hitman to take out their rival?  We invented that in Texas!  Taking a director to court is actually one of the less extreme things that I’ve heard about a cheer mom threatening to do.  I think the mom was worrying over nothing, though.  No one would mistake anyone in this movie for an actual cheerleader.

 

Moments #25: That Doll


This Doll is Going To Kill You

by Erin Nicole

Our mom was a doll collector.  Especially after she got divorced, she would spend her weekends hitting the estate sales and the thrift stores and searching for dolls.  Eventually, she owned over a thousand dolls, many of which were very valuable.

I don’t know if this doll was valuable but I know it used to scare crap out of me whenever I would wake up to get a drink of water in the middle of the night and I would see it sitting in the kitchen.  I think I was 13 when my mom found this doll and, even as she was buying it, I said, “Mom, that doll’s scary!”

No, my mom told me, this doll was beautiful.

Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder.  All I know is that I always gave it the side eye whenever I was in the same room.  I’m not superstitious.  I know the doll wasn’t possessed but sometimes, it’s arms would be in a different position than they were the last time I had seen it and I would wonder why.  Was the doll haunted?  Or was my little sister just playing a trick on me?

A few years ago, I joined my sisters in going through mom’s doll collection.  Mom not only kept the dolls in perfect shape but she also kept detailed records of where she had bought each doll, how old each doll was, and how much they were selling for on Ebay.  When Lisa came across this doll, she announced that we were taking it home with us.

“No, we definitely are not,” I replied.

Lisa nodded and then said she wouldn’t bring the doll into our house.  I made her promise.  I should have noticed she had her hands behind her back when she did.

The next morning, I woke up and I walked into the kitchen and I screamed at the sight of that doll sitting at the kitchen table.

The doll is still in our house.  It sits in one of the dining room chairs and it greets anyone who visits.  As the years have passed, I’ve actually come to appreciate seeing the doll sitting there every day.  It’s a link to my mom.  Now, when I look at the doll, I think about how much my mom loved collecting and how happy she would be that her daughters have continued to take care of her collection.  I collect cameras and baseball memorabilia.  Lisa collects political campaign buttons and books.  My mom collected haunted dolls.  It’s a family tradition.

Previous Moments:

  1. My Dolphin by Case Wright
  2. His Name Was Zac by Lisa Marie Bowman
  3. The Neighborhood, This Morning by Erin Nicole
  4. The Neighborhood, This Afternoon by Erin Nicole
  5. Walking In The Rain by Erin Nicole
  6. The Abandoned RV by Erin Nicole
  7. A Visit To The Cemetery by Erin Nicole
  8. The Woman In The Hallway by Lisa Marie Bowman
  9. Visiting Another Cemetery by Erin Nicole
  10. The Alley Series by Erin Nicole
  11. Exploring The Red House by Erin Nicole
  12. The Halloween That Nearly Wasn’t by Erin Nicole
  13. Watchers and Followers by Erin Nicole
  14. Visitors by Erin Nicole
  15. Fighting by Case Wright
  16. Walking In The Fog by Erin Nicole
  17. A Spider Does What It Can by Erin Nicole
  18. Downtown Richardson, In The Rain by Erin Nicole
  19. Me, our kids, and ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD! by Bradley Crain
  20. The Statues of SMU by Erin Nicole
  21. Exploring the Back Yard Of An Abandoned House by Erin Nicole
  22. The Ugly Old Swing by Erin Nicole
  23. The Fourth of July In My Town by Erin Nicole
  24. A 4th of July Tradition: Blurry Firework Pictures! by Erin Nicole

Brad reviews SHARKANSAS WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE (2015)! 


The exploitively titled SHARKANSAS WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE opens up with employees of an “Arkansas Fracking” company causing such a disturbance underground that spiky, ancient sharks wake up and start swimming in our swamps and eating whoever they happen to come across. As a lifelong Arkansan, I’m guessing this would have to be set near the Louisiana line, but I don’t think it’s ever made clear. It doesn’t really matter because the movie is actually shot in the state of Florida. This shark awakening just happens to coincide with a group of hot, womens’ prison inmates, including Christine Nguyen and Cindy Lucas, getting into a van to go clear some stumps in that same shark swamp that’s just outside of the walls of the penitentiary that they’re currently residing in. We also meet Detective Kendra Patterson (Traci Lords) and her partner, who are looking for a group of criminals, led by Honey (Dominique Swain), who may have escaped into that same swamp that now contains our ancient, spiky sharks and our sexy Arkansas inmates! Before you know it, the trials and tribulations of every person involved will be put on the back burner as they try not to become the next victim of the Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre. 

SHARKANSAS WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE is pretty much the exact film that you’d expect it to be. It’s cheap, with terribly cheesy special effects, bad acting and some super-sexy women. It was made for the SyFy channel so it doesn’t really have graphic gore or nudity, which I’m sure is disappointing for those hoping for more bosoms and blood. I did enjoy a scene early in the film when the ladies are extremely warm from a tough day of clearing stumps so they start spilling water on their white T-shirts, while their faces contort in unbridled pleasures. The film is directed by Jim Wynorski who’s known for his low budget exploitation movies such as CHOPPING MALL (1986), BIG BAD MAMA II (1987), NOT OF THIS EARTH (1988), BODY CHEMISTRY 4: FULL EXPOSURE (1995), ALABAMA JONES AND THE BUSTY CRUSADE (2005), and COBRAGATOR (2015). For the director’s fans, this movie has much more in common with his classic PIRANHACONDA (2012) than it does his BUSTY WIVES (2007) series. 

The cast of SHARKANSAS WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE is pretty much top notch for a film like this. I can honestly say that I’ve never seen Traci Lords in one of her porn films, but I’ve always thought she was pretty good looking, and she is here. I did have Cinemax for a number of years as a young man so I’ve definitely seen some of Christine Nguyen’s work. I would come across titles like TARZEENA: JIGGLE OF THE JUNGLE (2008) starring Christine, and the man in me couldn’t help but stop and check out the story. Finally, as a huge fan of director John Woo’s FACE/OFF (1997), I remember liking Dominique Swain as Sean Archer’s rebellious young daughter in the film. In this film, she’s the queen of overacting as a lesbian outlaw who’s out to bust her lover out of jail when she finds herself in a life or death battle with deadly, ancient land sharks. It’s not exactly the performance of a lifetime, but it’s still kind of fun if you’re in the right frame of mind. 

At the end of the day, you’re either the kind of person who likes a movie like SHARKANSAS WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE or you’re not. There’s not a lot of in between. It’s personally not my favorite kind of film, but I’ll pretty much watch anything with an Arkansas connection, even though this one is “in title only.” For fans of the director, the film DINOCROC VS. SUPERGATOR, or some of the beautiful cast members, this film may be just what your looking for this October!

Horror On TV: Hammer House Of Horror Episode #1: Witching Time (dir by Don Leaver)


Hammer House of Horror was a British anthology series that ran for 13 episodes in 1980.  As you can tell by the title, the show was produced by Hammer Films.  Each episode dealt with a different type of horror and featured some of the best actors working in British film and television.

The first episode aired on September 13th, 1980.  Lucinda Jessup (Patricia Quinn), a 17th century witch, escapes from a pack of witch hunters by traveling into the future.  Discovering that her former home is now occupied by a film composer (Jon Finch) and his wife (Prunella Gee) and that the marriage is not a happy one, Lucinda puts her mark  on the composer.  Can the man’s unfaithful wife save him from the witch?  The husband isn’t all that sympathetic and I think that many viewers will probably feel that it might be for the best to just let the witch have him but this is still a well-acted and atmospheric episode.  Keep an eye for Ian McCulloch of Zombi 2 fame as the wife’s lover.

This episode also features some brief nudity so don’t watch it at work.

 

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: Maniac (dir by William Lustig)


 First released in 1980, Maniac stars Joe Spinell as Frank Zito.

Frank lives in a run-down New York apartment.  The grimy walls are covered with pictures that appear to have been cut out of magazines.  The sheets on the bed look like they haven’t been washed in over a year and, for that matter, the sweaty and greasy Frank Zito looks like he could definitely use a shower as well.  Frank lives alone but he has several blood-stained mannequins.  He talks to the mannequins, cooing about how he just wants them to be nice to him and to stop abusing him.  Just looking at the apartment, one can imagine the nauseating odor of sweet, blood, and who knows what else that seeps out whenever Frank Zito opens his door.

Frank Zito is also a murderer.  The majority of the film is taken up with scenes of him stalking his victims.  One extended sequences features him stalking a nurse through a subway station.  Another scene features a rather nightmarish moment in which Frank, in slow motion, jumps on the hood of a car and shoots a man point blank with a shotgun.  (The man is played by Tom Savini, who was also responsible for the film’s gore effects.)  An innocent model is killed after Frank breaks into her apartment.  “I just want to talk to you,” he says and maybe he actually believes that at first.

Frank has a chance meeting with a glamorous and beautiful photographer named Anna (Caroline Munro, playing a role that was rejected by Daria Nicolodi).  Somewhat improbably, Anna is charmed by the socially awkward Frank and even agrees to go out with him.  She’s touched when Frank shows up at the funeral of the model that he killed.  “She didn’t have many friends,” Anna tells Frank.

Meanwhile, at the cemetery, Frank’s fate awaits….

Maniac is one of the most infamous and controversial grindhouse films ever made.  The film’s atmosphere and the bleak visuals are the equivalent of being forced to look at New York while wearing glasses that somebody found floating in the sewer.  The deaths are drawn out and Savini’s gore effects are disturbingly convincing.  It’s a nearly plotless film about a man who hates women and what makes it scary as opposed to just exploitive is the fact that there are men like Frank Zito out there.  Joe Spinell, who was one of the great character actors of the 70s, appeared in everything from The Godfather to Taxi Driver to Rocky but, in the end, it’s his performance as Frank Zito that he seems to be destined to be most-remembered for.  Spinell is frightening, convincing, and disturbing as Frank Zito.  Spinell was planning on doing a sequel before his untimely death, at the age of 52, in 1989.

(Spinell was a hemophiliac who bled to death after slipping in the shower.  According to Maniac director William Lustig, when the police entered Spinell’s apartment, the first thing they saw was a huge amount of blood.  The second thing they saw was a life-like replica of Spinell’s head sitting on top of the television.  The head was a prop from Maniac and so convincing that the police originally assumed someone had broken into the apartment and decapitated him.  Spinell’s death not only prevented him from playing Frank Zito for a second time but also kept him from reprising his role as Willie Cicci in The Godfather Part III.)

Maniac is not an easy film to defend but, if I had to, I would point out that Frank Zito is portrayed as being an unsympathetic loser throughout the entire film.  He’s not some evil genius like Hannibal Lecter.  He’s not a nonstop quip machine like Freddy Krueger.  He’s not even enigmatic or superhuman like Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees.  Instead, he’s a pathetic loser who can’t even win an argument with the voices in his head.  Horror films all too often glorify or make excuses for serial killers.  (Just look at all of the Ted Bundy films.)  Maniac does not present Frank Zito as being anything other than a pathetic and twisted man and, as such, it’s probably one of the most realistic portrayals of a serial killer to be found on film.  Frank Zito is not meant to be glorified, though I’m sure that went over the heads of more than a few people who saw this film when it first opened.  It’s an ugly film but it’s about an ugly subject.  It’s exploitive but ultimately it’s on the side of Zito’s victims.

The film was an early directorial credit of William Lustig, who worked as a production assistant on Dario Argento’s Inferno in order to see how Argento deal with shooting on location in New York.  It was while working on Inferno that Lustig met Daria Nicolodi and offered her the part of Anna in Maniac.  (Anna’s last name is D’Antoni, a clear nod to Nicolodi’s Italian roots.)  Nicolodi was disgusted by the script and turned it down.  (Caroline Munro accepted the role and was reunited with her Starcrash co-star, Joe Spinnell.  Interestingly enough, even after all of the controversy created by Maniac, Munro and Spinell went on to co-star in The Last Horror Movie.)  Lustig based his serial killer on David “Son of Sam” Berkowitz and named him after director Joe Zito, who would go on to direct Friday the 13th — The Final Chapter.

For all the controversy that has dogged Maniac over the years, it’s easy to forget that the film itself is surprisingly well-directed and acted.  Caroline Munro bring some much needed class to the proceedings, even if the script requires her character to make some truly dumb decisions.  And Joe Spinell was simply horrifying as Frank Zito.  It’s not a pleasant film and if you ever find yourself in a home where the owner has a Maniac poster on the wall, I would suggest leaving immediately.  It is, however, a landmark of grindhouse filmmaking.

(Be sure to read Arleigh’s thoughts on Maniac here!)

October Hacks: Tourist Trap (dir by David Schmoeller)


1979’s Tourist Trap opens in the same way that many slasher films have opened.  A group of friends — young, attractive, and not particularly bright — are driving through a secluded, rural area when they have car trouble.

Now, I have to say that, if I was driving through a rural secluded area or even if I was just a passenger in the vehicle, I would totally freak out if the car broke down.  I mean, seriously, you’re in the middle of nowhere.  You have no idea who or what might be hiding behind those trees.  Even if you don’t get attacked by a bunch of inbred hillbilly cousins, you might get eaten by a bear or, even worse, you might get mauled by a deer and end up with Lyme Disease.  Or you might just end up with a bunch of flies buzzing around your face, which is really even worse than getting attacked by a wild animal.

(Pro-tip: One way to deal with flies is to combine the open flame of a lighter with a can of hairspray.)

I’ve seen enough slasher films to know that bad things happen when you get lost in the woods.  However, up until everything started getting all self-referential in the 1990s, old school slasher films were infamous for featuring characters who had apparently never seen a slasher film or really any other type of movie before.

Your car broke down in the woods?  One member of your party has already disappeared while looking for a gas station?  You have no way of letting anyone know where you are?  Sure, why not go skinny dipping?  For that matter, why not check out Slausen’s Lost Oasis, a run-down shack that is the home of a lot of wax figures and which is owned by the shotgun-toting Mr. Slausen (Chuck Connors).  Mr. Slausen is pretty bitter about the new freeway.  It took away all of his business.

Of course, it turns out that there’s more to this tourist trap than meets the eyes.  For one thing, the mannequins often seem to randomly come to life and murder anyone who spends too much time alone with them.  Secondly, things in the tourist trap often move on their own, as if someone has psychic powers.  And then there the enigmatic man who wears a wax mask and likes to take people hostage before transforming them into wax figures….

Tourist Trap has a totally ludicrous plot but Slausen’s Oasis is such a creepy location and Chuck Connors plays his role with such unnerving intensity that it doesn’t matter that things don’t always make sense.  At its best, Tourist Trap plays out like a filmed nightmare, one in which the rules of normal physics often don’t seem to apply.  The victims are interchangeable (though I did like Tanya Roberts’s energetic performance as Becky) but the kills are imaginative and memorable gruesome.  Researching the film, I was surprised to discover that Tourist Trap was given a PG-rating, despite the skinny dipping and the blood and all of the terrifying wax figures.  Don’t let that rating fool you.  This is genuinely scary slasher film and one that everyone should see before going on an impulsive road trip to the middle of nowhere.