Category Archives: Horrorthon

Game Review: The Witness (1983, Infocom)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

You are a detective, working in 1930s Los Angeles.  One night, you and your assistant, Sgt. Duffy (remember him from Deadline?) are called to the home of Freeman Linder.  Linder is a soldier of fortune whose wife has recently died under mysterious circumstances.  After you arrive and assuming that you are smart enough to follow Linder into his study, he tells you to have a seat while he explains why he needs to be protected from a man named Stiles.  If you don’t take a seat, you’ll end up getting a bullet that was originally meant for Linder.  If you do take your seat, you’ll witness Linder getting shot by an unseen assailant.  You now have 12 hours to explore the house, interrogate all of the suspects (there aren’t many of them), and figure out who murdered Freeman Linder!

The Witness was Infocom’s follow-up to its fabulously successful murder mystery, Deadline.  The Witness is a much simpler and much easier game, though it’s still a good deal of fun.  If Deadline seemed like a big budget MGM extravaganza, The Witness is an entertaining Warner Bros. B-movie.  The mystery at the heart of The Witness is not difficult to solve.  It’s mostly a case of making sure that you’re in the right place at the right time to witness certain events and also making sure that you do certain things in the right order.  The mystery may be easy to solve but getting all of the evidence necessary for a conviction can be tough.

As with most Infocom games, The Witness is well-written and full of memorable details.  The game is set on February 9th, 1938 and, if your detective turns on the radio, he’ll hear programs that actually aired on that date.  The game’s author, Stu Galley, even researched 1930s slang to give the game’s dialogue an authentic feel.  It’s a fun if not particularly difficult game.

The Witness can currently be played over at the Internet Archive.

6 More Paranormal Creatures Who Deserve Their Own Movie

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier this month, I listed 6 paranormal creatures who I felt were just as worthy of a movie as Bigfoot.

Of course, by limiting myself to 6, I ended up leaving out some very worthy possibilities.  So, just to keep things fair, here are 6 more paranormal creatures who I think deserve their own horror film franchise!  Hopefully, I’ll be writing about some of these creatures during the 2021 horrorthon!

1. Spring-Heeled Jack

Oh, Spring-Heeled Jack!  Jack terrorized London from 1832 to 1901, with numerous people claiming that they saw this mysterious figure not only harassing other Londoners but also leaping away when spotted or confronted.  Just what exactly Spring-Heeled Jack looked like depended on who you asked.  Some people said that he appeared to be a normal English gentleman, until of course he started leaping up into the air.  Others said that he had claws and eyes that glowed like red balls of fire.  Some people said that Spring-Heeled Jack could speak English while others claimed that he only communicated with animal-like grunts.  Some said that he was a ghost and others said that was the devil.  Sometimes, he was described as being a trickster and, other times, he was described as being a violent monster who attacked young women while they slept.  Some people even claimed that he was Jack the Ripper.

Of course, some people also claimed that Spring-Heeled Jack wasn’t a supernatural creature at all.  They claimed that he was an elaborate hoax, started by a bunch of bored aristocrats who decided to have a bit of fun with the commoners.

Well, no matter!  Whether Spring-Heeled Jack was the devil or just the Marquess of Waterford, he deserves his very own movie!

2. The Hammersmith Ghost

Spring-Heeled Jack wasn’t the first paranormal being to haunt London.  There was also the Hammersmith Ghost.  In 1804, it was said that there were a ghost attacking people in the Hammersmith area of London.  It was said that the white-clad ghost was the spirit of a man who had committed suicide and, because he had been buried in consecrated ground, his soul could not find peace.  Several people reported being attacked by the ghost, leading to citizens setting up patrols to try to hunt the ghost down.  Tragically, this also led to a totally innocent bricklayer being mistaken for the ghost and killed by a night watchman.  Having turned Londoner against Londoner, The Hammersmirth Ghost appears to have faded away.  However, both the story of the Ghost and the real-life tragedy that it caused seems tailor-made for a great film.

3. The Headless Nun

We’ve all heard of the Headless Horseman but how about the Headless Nun?  In the 1700s, a Canadian nun named Sister Marie Inconnue lost her head.  Some say that it was chopped off by a mad trapper.  Others say that it was done by two sailors who were convinced that the nun knew the location of a treasure.  Regardless of how it happened, the Headless Nun is now said to wander the Canadian wilderness, searching for her head.

4. The Mare

Ever wondered why people have nightmares?  Well, according to Germanic mythology, it was because this evil little creature was sitting on their chest while they were sleeping!  AGCK!

5. Ozark Howler

The Ozark Howler is a giant cat that apparently lives in the Ozarks.  They say that the Ozark Howler has horns and glowing eyes and I assume that you wouldn’t want to make it angry.  Most people insist that the Ozark Howler is just a legend but I’ve spent enough time in Arkansas to know that anything is possible.

6. Robert

If we can do a hundred movies about Annabelle, surely we can do one about Robert!  This doll, which used to belong to a painter named Robert Eugene Otto, is said to move on its own and apparently it occasionally giggles.  Robert is currently in a Florida museum and it’s said that museum visitors that didn’t show proper respect to Robert have subsequently suffered from all forms of misfortune: car wrecks, job loss, divorce, broken teeth, and just about anything else that you can think of.  So, why not pay Robert the respect of letting him star in his very own movie?

Horror Film Review: The Possession of Hannah Grace (dir by Diederik van Rooijen)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

2018’s The Possession of Hannah Grace is a real idiot film.

As in, “Hey, idiot, there’s a dead woman behind you!”

The dead woman in question of Hannah Grace (Kirby Johnson), who was once alive and had brown eyes but then she was possessed by demons and her eyes turned blue.  An attempted exorcism didn’t go well, with the older priest ended up getting impaled on a conveniently placed hook and the younger priest being one of those young bearded types who had obviously never done an exorcism before.  Finally, Hannah’s father, Grainger (Louis Herthum), was like, “Ah, screw it,” so he just smothered her to death,

Unfortunately, the demon is still inside of Hannah’s body and, three moths later, that means trouble when it shows up at the morgue.  Megan (Shay Mitchell), who is working the night shift, is an ex-cop with drug and alcohol problems and she’s not sure if Hannah is really wandering around or if she’s just hallucinating things.  The film probably would have been more interesting if we had been as uncertain as Megan as to whether or not she was really seeing Hannah wandering around the morgue.  Unfortunately, though, the film starts with the unsuccessful exorcism and, as a result, we already know that it’s Hannah and we’re just kinda like, “We get it.  You’ve got issues.  Who cares?”

Anyway, even though the morgue is a restricted area, people keep coming down there and getting killed.  What’s interesting is that everyone who dies is on duty at the hospital yet hardly anyone seems to notice or care that they’re suddenly absent.  We do see one security guard wandering why his partner hasn’t returned but that’s pretty much it.

And it should be scary because this is one of those films that seems to exclusively take place in dark rooms and unlit hallways but it never really is, largely because we know everything that Hannah’s going to do before Hannah does it.  And everyone is so stupid that there’s not really any suspense as to whether or not Hannah’s going to be able to rip them up into little pieces of naive medical personnel.  This all, of course, leads to Megan declaring that she’s now a stronger person and will be able to face the the future with renewed confidence so I guess all of those people dying for no good reason was worth it.

Anyway, I usually like to make sure that my reviews usually run at least 500 words but I kind of feel like that would be a waste of effort where The Possession of Hannah Grace is concerned.  I’ll be happy with 440.

Horror On The Lens: Night Tide (dir by Curtis Harrington)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Night Tide

First released in 1961 and directed by Curtis Harrington, Night Tide stars a young Dennis Hopper as Johnny, an awkward sailor.  Johnny meets Mora (Linda Lawson), who works as a “mermaid” on the pier.  For Johnny, it’s love at first sight.  However, the more that Johnny pursues her, the more he learns about both her mysterious past and the dark fate of her previous boyfriends.

Night Tide is low-key and atmospheric gem of a movie, one that serve as an inspiration for low-budget filmmakers every where.  Lawson is perfectly cast as the enigmatic Mora but the film really belongs to Dennis Hopper.  Hopper’s naturally off-key presence made him perfect for the role of Johnny.

Night Tide is one of those low-budget movies that, because it’s in the public domain,  has been released on DVD (often in inferior form) by dozens of different companies.  Often times, films like this turn out to be fairly forgettable.  Night Tide, however, is an exception.

Music Video of The Day: Written in Blood by She Wants Revenge (2007, dir by Justin Warfield)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Oh my God, I love this video.

Everything — from the atmosphere of ominous decadence to the dark cinematography to the wonderfully sordid art direction — just works perfectly.  Fortunately, this is one of those videos where we actually have the names of some of the people who worked behind the scenes so here they are:

Director — Justin Warfield
Director of Photography — Simon Thirlaway
Production Design — Ariana Nakata, Production Designer
Costume and Wardrobe — Brooke Dulien and Stefanie King Warfield, Wardrobe Stylists

Great work by all!  Jean Rollin would be proud.

Enjoy!

Horror on TV: One Step Beyond 2.5 “Night of the Kill” (dir by John Newland)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

When young Davey Morris tells his parents that he’s been hanging out with a friendly Bigfoot-type creature, all of the adults in town react in the worst way possible.

This episode, from the second season of One Step Beyond, was one of the first to deal with the legend of Bigfoot.  Needless to say, it’s the adults who turn out to be the true monsters in this scenario.

This episode originally aired on October 20th, 1959.

 

Horns, Book Review, By Case Wright

Posted on by casewright

horns

Horns.  What if you woke up and realized? Gee Whiz, I’m a demon! Well, that’s exactly how it was for Ig Perrish in Horns.  One day he was the pariah of his town because everyone believed he murdered his girlfriend and the next day he’s got budding horns with magical demon powers!

Ig is loathed by everyone for being a rapist and murderer.  There was only one problem: he didn’t do it.  The lab that would’ve exonerated him with DNA evidence caught fire, leaving him as the likely suspect, but no physical evidence to convict or exculpate.  His town and greater world hates him forever.

The horns start growing out of his head and give him powers to cause people to indulge and confess their darkest desires.  When he uses the horns, people can see the horns, when he’s done, they’re no longer visible. He goes through the town getting people indulge and confess.  He slowly realizes that xxxxxxxx was the killer.  Ha! No spoilers! The killer figures out that Ig has discovered his identity so they begin a cat and mouse game that goes all the way to the climax.

The book elicits a visceral response because it deals with the key concepts of human existence: Betrayal, love, revenge, and envy.  There are quite a few of the other deadly sins on display in the book as well.  The only knock that I give the book is that it really obvious very early on who the real killer is.  Nope, still not spoiling!

Is it worth reading? Yes. There is also a very fine audiobook with a voice actor  who does a very good job.  I highly recommend that as well.  You can check out the trailer review for Horns by Arleigh here!

The Story of the Hills: The UFO Incident (1975, directed by Richard A. Colla)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Betty and Barney Hill (played by Estelle Parsons and James Earl Jones) are a happily married couple living in New Hampshire in the mid-60s.  They are both haunted by something that happened two years previously, while they were on vacation.  They both remember something appearing in the sky over their car but they can’t remember anything that happened afterwards.  They are both haunted by nightmares and a strong feeling that something terrible most have happened to them.  Finally, they meet with Dr. Benjamin Simon (Barnard Hughes), who places them both under hypnosis.  Only then does a clear picture start to emerge of what Betty and Barney believe happened as they both describe being abducted and experimented upon by aliens.

The UFO Incident is a very sober and serious account of the Hills’s abduction.  It never takes a clear side as to whether Betty and Barney are remembering something that actually happened or if they’re just remembering elaborate dreams.  That works to the film’s advantage, though it might disappoint those looking for a more dramatic take on the subject.  This is a made-for-TV movie so don’t expect much from the special effects and the alien costumes look disappointingly cheap.  The important thing, though, is that the film treat the Hills and their story with respect and James Earl Jones gives one of his best and most relatable performances as Barney.  The film is as much about how even a good marriage can be threatened by stressful times as it is about the UFOs.

The UFO Incident is based on the non-fiction book, The Interrupted Journey by John G. Fuller, which purported to tell the story of the Hills and their abduction.  The Hills were two of the first people to come forward with a story about being abducted by aliens.  Much of the common elements that can be found in stories about alien abductions, like the little grey men, the medical experimentation, and the amnesia afterwards, began with the Hills’s account of what they believed happened to them in 1961.  The Hills, who were active and highly respected in their community, were considered to be unusually credible witnesses, though Dr. Simon ultimately decided that Barney’s recollections of being on the UFO were probably influenced by Betty’s descriptions of her nightmares.  Barney, himself, died in 1969, three years after the book was published.  Betty remained active in the UFO community until her death in 2004.

Retro Game Review: Destroy All Humans! 2 (2006, THQ)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Yesterday, I wrote about how excited I am about the prospect of once again getting to play Destroy All Humans! when the remake of the game is rereleased in 2020.

But why stop with there?  Why not follow that up by remaking Destroy All Humans! 2?

Destroy All Humans! 2 picks up ten years after the end of Destroy All Humans!  It is now 1969 and the world is swinging.  The latest Crypto clone is still disguised as the President of the United States and he is having a ball.  Of course, then the KGB decides to ruin it all by launching a nuclear missile at the Furon mothership.

With the mothership destroyed and Pox reduced to being an ill-tempted hologram, Crypro must figure out not only what the KGB is planning but he must also get revenge for the destruction of the mothership and the death of his commander.  Destroy All Humans! 2 spans the globe, with Crypto going from San Francisco to London to Tokyo to Siberia with the game’s climax taking place on the moon.  Along the way, Destroy All Human! 2 parodies everything from hippies to Godzilla to James Bond.  This is a fun and humorous game that could be played all the way through in just a couple of sessions.  Along with having everything that the first game had, Destroy All Humans! 2 also has some new features.  My favorite was the ability to force hippies, schoolgirls, and other innocent bystanders to forget about me by making them suddenly hear acid rock.  Of course, it’s also a sandbox game so, if you don’t feel like concentrating on the plot, you can just focus your energies on destroying all humans!

Destroy All Humans! 2 is another game that I used to play nonstop on my Xbox.  My Xbox is still in working condition but my controller has seen better days so, whenever I play the game nowadays, I have to keep an eye on Crypto to make sure he doesn’t take off running towards the left side of the screen.

So, how about it?  If 2020 is going to be the year of the Destroy All Humans! remake, how about following up with a remake of Destroy All Humans! 2?

After all, we need Crypto now more than ever!