Warhead (1977, directed by John O’Connor)


Somehow, a nuclear bomb falls out of an American airplane that happens to flying over the border between Israel and Jordan.  Luckily, the bomb doesn’t explode but now it’s just sitting out in the desert where anyone can stumble upon it.  CIA operative Tony Stevens (David Janssen) just happens to be on vacation in the Middle East so he’s recruited and sent off to find the bomb before anyone else finds out about it.

At the same time, a group of Israeli soldiers, led by Captain Ben-David (Christopher Stone) and Lt. Liora (Karin Dor), are searching for a group of Palestinian terrorists, led by Malouf (Tuvia Tavi).  As soon as Tony finds the bomb, he is captured by Malouf.  He is then rescued by Ben-David but now Tony has to deal with two interested parties who want the bomb for themselves.

Warhead is a confusing movie that seems like it is trying to say something about the Middle East and America’s role as an international policeman.  Captain Ben-David feels that the Americans are being selfish with their refusal to allow other countries to develop their own nuclear missiles while Tony argues that the world would be plunged into war if everyone had the bomb.  (Remember, this film is from the 70s and was made at a time when the U.S. and the Russians were pretty much the only nuclear super powers.)  The film ends on a nihilistic note, with almost everyone either dead or disillusioned but why?  The acting is so bad and the production is so shoddy that it’s hard to figure out what this movie is trying to say.  Is Ben-David right about American arrogance or is Tony right to argue that deterrence is the only way to keep the world safe?  The movie doesn’t seem to know.  David Janssen was usually the ideal actor to play grizzled tough guys but, in this movie, he was clearly just collecting a paycheck and hopefully enjoying the chance to do some sight-seeing in the Holy Land.  The most intriguing character in the movie is a beautiful Israeli sniper played by Joan Freeman but she is killed off early and forgotten.

Warhead premiered on TV but was obviously originally intended for a theatrical release.  There’s a very gratuitous rape scene that is so awkwardly edited that it’s easy to see that it was cut down once it became apparent the movie was never going to play in theaters.  (The scene could have just as easily been removed from the film without effecting the narrative but I guess the networks wanted to give all of the dads and teenage boys a reason to not change the channel.)  According to the information I’ve found online, Warhead was filmed in 1973 but sat on the shelf for four years.  Watching the movie, it’s easy to see why.

Under Siege (1986, directed by Roger Young)


Let’s say that you are the governor of Arkansas and, once again, your state is running out of money and will soon not be able to afford to pay its bills.  What do you do?

That was the problem facing Governor Bill Clinton in 1986.  His solution was to allow a big Hollywood production to come down to Little Rock and film someone throwing explosive devices at the state capitol.  The capitol building at Little Rock looks like a smaller version of the capitol building in Washington D.C.  The producers of Under Siege needed to shoot a scene where terrorists attempt to blow up Congress.  Even though the state capitol wasn’t actually blown up in the film, the dome did end up with extensive burn marks that were visible for years afterwards.  Many people in Arkansas were not amused that they had to allow a film crew to set their capitol on fire just to pay the bills.  Still, if Bill Clinton hadn’t agreed to blow up the state capitol building, Arkansas could have gone bankrupt and then he probably would have lost his reelection bid in 1986.  If Bill Clinton wasn’t reelected, he never would have been elected to the presidency in 1992, Hillary Clinton would never have been elected to the Senate in 2000 and, in 2016, the Democrats wouldn’t have been stuck with the only possible nominee who could have actually lost to Donald Trump.  When you look at it that way, Under Siege is one of the most significant films ever made.

As for the film, it’s a 3-hour, made-for-TV movie about what happens when Islamic extremism hits home.  Notorious terrorist Abu Ladeen (Thaao Penghlis) has managed to sneak into the United States and is hiding out in Detroit.  He directs a series of attacks on beloved American institutions.  Not only is the Capitol Building bombed but a mall is also attacked.  While President Maxwell Monroe (Hal Holbrook, who was born to play presidents) tries to keep America from falling apart, his hawkish advisers tell him that now is the time to launch a strike against Iran, despite Iran claiming to have nothing to do with the attacks.  Only the director of the FBI, John Garry (Peter Strauss), and the Secretary of Defense, Andrew Simon (Paul Winfield), argue that the president should exercise caution.  Garry is convinced that the attacks are the result of homegrown, domestic extremism and not an international conspiracy.  Garry is a very hands-on FBI director.  He’s the type of FBI director who will chase a terrorist down a street in Washington D.C.  Let’s see James Comey do that shit.

Under Siege probably seemed outlandish in 1986 but it seems prophetic today.  The film’s depiction of both terrorism and the government’s shady response to it turned out to be accurate.  That doesn’t mean that it’s a very good movie.  It was co-written by Bob Woodward of Watergate and Washington Post fame, so of course John Garry is righteous beyond belief and the solution to all of America’s problem begin with contacting a newspaper editor and blowing the whistle.  America may be under siege but a strongly-worded editorial is here to save the day.

Under Siege used to regularly show up on late night television and the DVD was popular overseas.  (In France, it was called Au Revoir, America.)  Not surprisingly, after 9-11, it vanished from circulation.  If you can find a copy, watch it and ask yourself, “Would I blow up my state capitol just to pay the bills?”

Here’s The Super Bowl Teaser For Minions: The Rise of Gru!


The Minions are back.

Actually, the <inions are cute.  One of the first things that Arleigh and I bonded over was our love of the Minions.  That said, I have my doubts that there’s really much more that can be done with the Minions.  Still, I get the feeling this new movie will be cute.

We’ll see!

 

Here’s The Super Bowl Teaser For No Time To Die!


No Time To Die is the 25th James Bond film and apparently, it’s going to be Daniel Craig’s last.  I’ve been pretty critical of Craig’s interpretation of Bond and I hated SPECTRE but the Super Bowl teaser for No Time To Die actually looked kind of good.

So, let’s hope for a film that will leave us stirred and not shaken!

Here’s The Super Bowl Teaser for Black Widow!


Hell yeah!  This teaser is literally one of the main reasons I’m watching the Super Bowl this year!  I’m a little bit worried that the movie is going to be like, “Yes, Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow is dead but here’s a replacement that we won’t have to pay as much!” but still, I can’t wait to see it.

Seriously, if I could be any MCU character, I would be the Black Widow.  (I also would have shoved Jeremy Renner off that cliff in Endgame.  Seriously, I’m still mad about that scene.)

Here’s The Super Bowl Spot For Top Gun: Maverick!


Here it is!  The Top Gun: Maverick Super Bowl spot!

This spot admittedly doesn’t really tell you a lot about the film.  Tom Cruise is back, but we already knew that.  Val Kilmer shows up for a second or two.  Lots of airplanes, of course.  And really, that’s probably all that this preview needed to be effective.

 

Here’s The Super Bowl Spot For The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge On The Run


Me: “Am I the only person in the world who doesn’t like SpongeBob?”

World: “Yes!”

Me: “Oh.  Okay.”

Well, regardless of how I might feel about SpongeBob, the rest of the world seems to be excited about his upcoming movie.  Here’s the Super Bowl spot!

Here’s The Super Bowl Spot For Sonic The Hedgehog


I guess the point of this trailer is that Sonic The Hedgehog is really, really fast.

At least he doesn’t look no longer looks like he’s going to kill someone, so that’s an improvement.  Seriously, film twitter takes a lot of criticism but this is one of those rare cases where the folks at Paramount should be thanking everyone who complained online.