Category Archives: Film Review

Comedy Tonight: A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM (United Artists 1966)

Posted on by gary loggins

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Director Richard Lester made the jump from The Beatles to Broadway in filming A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM, but it wasn’t that far a leap. In adapting the Tony-winning musical comedy to the screen, Lester energizes the film with his unmistakably 60’s cinematic style, resulting in one of the decade’s best comedies, aided and abetted by a cast of pros including Zero Mostel , Phil Silvers, Jack Gilford, and the great Buster Keaton in his final film performance.

The credits roll to the tune of Stephen Sondheim’s “Comedy Tonight”, which may be my favorite song from any musical, as Zero introduces us to the main players. He’s Psuedolus, a slave owned by young Hero (Michael Crawford), son of unhappily married Senex (Michael Hordern) and his shrewish (not Jewish) wife Domina (Patricia Jessel, who’s a riot!). Hero has fallen in love with Philia (Annette Andre), the…

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Van Damme Directs: The Quest (1996, directed by Jean-Claude Van Damme)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

In the 1920s, New York pickpocket Christoper DuBois (Jean-Claude Van Damme) flees both the police and the mob by stowing away on a boat.  Before he leaves, he promises a group of orphans that he will return to them.  Thay promise is easier made than kept because DuBois is captured by pirates, rescued by Lord Dobbs (Roger Moore), and then sold into slavery on an island off the coast of Siam.

Apparently, Siamese slavery means being taught in the ways of Muay Thai boxing because, when Dobbs eventually returns, DuBois is a champion fighter.  Not holding a grudge about the whole slavery thing, DuBois requests that Dobbs and his partner, Harri (Jack McGee), accompany him to the Lost City of Tibet so that DuBois can represent the United States in a martial arts tournament.  The winner receives a statue made entirely out of the gold, the legendary Golden Dragon.  Wanting the dragon for themselves, Dobbs and Harri go with DuBois to Tibet.  Also accompanying them is a reporter (Janet Gunn) and Max Devine (James Remar), the boxer was supposed to represent the United States but who dropped out when he realized that DuBois was the better fighter.

In the Lost City, DuBois survives several elimination rounds against the best fighters from across the world.  While DuBois always shows mercy to his opponents, his main rival, Khan (Abdel Quissi), indiscriminately kills anyone who gets in the ring with him.  Meanwhile, Dobbs and Harri make plans to steal the golden dragon for themselves.

When it comes to the second-tier action heroes of 1990s, Jean-Claude Van Damme was never as good an actor as Dolph Lundgren but he was still more likable than Steven Seagal.  Van Damme’s appeal was that, in real life, he could actually do all of the things that he did in the movies.  For action audiences, there was never any doubt about who would win if Van Damme and Steven Seagal ever went at in real life.   Movies like The Quest never impressed the critics but they did give Van Damme’s fans exactly what they wanted out of a Van Damme film.

The Quest was unique because it was Van Damme’s debut as a director.  Unlike a lot of actors-turned-director, Van Damme mostly resists the temptation to get too self-indulgent.  There is one scene where Van Damme wears old age makeup and another where he wanders through the slums of New York while dressed as a clown but Van Damme is smart enough to leave most of the heavy acting to capable professionals like Roger Moore and James Remar.  While Moore and Remar ham it up and keep things entertaining, Van Damme concentrates on fighting and trying to return to the orphans.  The fight scenes are sometimes too short but at least Van Damme makes a point of showcasing each competitor’s different style.  There aren’t many films that include both sumo wrestling and capoeira.

The Quest is basically Bloodsport in the 1920s but, as they used to say in the 90s, it’s still damme entertaining.

A Quickie That Clicks: GENIUS AT WORK (RKO 1946)

Posted on by gary loggins

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Back in 2015, I reviewed a turkey called ZOMBIES ON BROADWAY , which paired Bela Lugosi with the “comedy” team of Wally Brown and Alan Carney, RKO’s cut-rate answer to Abbott & Costello. Well, it seems the studio threw together this unlucky trio again, along with co-star Anne Jeffreys and adding horror icon Lionel Atwill in another attempt at a scare comedy titled GENIUS AT WORK. Glutton for punishment that I am, I recorded it, then watched, expecting another bomb… and instead found a fairly funny little ‘B’ movie that, while not on a par with ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN , is a whole lot better than the aforementioned ZOMBIES fiasco!

Brown and Carney are back in their screen personas as doofuses Jerry Miles and Mike Strager, which they played in all eight of their films together. This time around, they’re radio sleuths hosting a show called ‘Crime of…

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What Lisa Watched Last Night #191: Her Worst Nightmare (dir by Damian Romay)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched Sunday’s Lifetime premiere film, Her Worst Nightmare!

Why Was I Watching It?

I recorded Her Worst Nightmare off of Lifetime on Sunday night.  I watched it on Monday because I desperately needed to make some space on my DVR!  (Seriously, I’ve got like 5 hours of recording space left…)

Plus, I have to admit that I really liked the title.  Judging from the poster above, the film was originally called Degrees of Fear but I actually preferred Her Worst Nightmare.  Honestly, if the word nightmare appears in the title, there’s no way that I’m not going to watch.

What Was It About?

A year ago, Dakota (Claire Blackwelder) was kidnapped and held prisoner by a brutal sociopath.  Though she was eventually rescued and her kidnapper was sent to prison, Dakota is still struggling to deal with the trauma of what she’s been through.  Now a college student, Dakota is still paranoid and withdrawn.  With a student reporter trying to get her to talk about her experiences and a possibly lecherous professor (Trevor St. John) constantly trying to get her to come out and have a drink with him, Dakota doesn’t know who to trust.

It especially doesn’t help that it appears that, once again, someone is stalking Dakota.  Has her kidnapper escaped or is something else happening?  Dakota is determined to find out!

What Worked?

In the lead role, Claire Blackwelder gave a sympathetic performance and she did a good job of portraying Dakota’s paranoia.  It was impossible not to empathize with Dakota and Blackwelder’s performance really held the film together.

Meanwhile, Trevor St. John was hilariously self-satisfied in the role of Prof. Campbell.  We’ve all had a teacher like him, the handsome professor who goes out of his way to let you know that 1) he’s only a few years older than you and 2) he likes to hang out at the same places that you do and 3) he’d love to have office hours with you at any time during the semester.

Her Worst Nightmare was a relatively restrained film.  Usually, I complain whenever a Lifetime film is too low key.  I usually like my Lifetime melodramas to be totally and completely over-the-top. But, in the case of Her Worst Nightmare, the restrained approach actually worked.  It generated suspense and, like Dakota, I found myself looking at every corner of the screen, keeping an eye out for any possible threats.

What Didn’t Work?

I have to admit that I wasn’t particularly shocked when the identity of Dakota’s stalker was revealed.  That’s one of the drawbacks of having a small cast.  There’s only so many possible suspects and, once you discount all of the obvious ones, it’s pretty easy to guess who it’s going to be.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

Whenever Dakota was feeling paranoid, I was like, “Been there.”  Unlike Dakota, I’ve never been kidnapped and held prisoner but I very well could have been if luck had not been on my side.  Anyone who has ever been stalked or who has ever escaped from an abusive relationship will be able to relate to Dakota.

Lessons Learned

Just because you’re paranoid, that doesn’t mean that people aren’t out to get you.  Actually, to be honest, I already knew that before I watched the film but sometimes, the best thing that a film can do is remind you of something that you already know to be true!

What Lisa Watched Last Night #190: Killer Night Shift (dir by Damian Romay and Ernest Rowe)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime movie premiere, Killer Night Shift!

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it was on Lifetime!

Seriously, as much as I loved watching all of the SyFy shark movies last week, I was ready to return to Lifetime and see what type of melodrama they had to offer this weekend.

I have to admit that I was also intrigued by the title.  Killer is a word that shows up in several Lifetime titles but this is the first time that I’ve ever heard of a killer night shift.  Some day, I’m going to write a Lifetime movie called Killer Yoga Lesson.

What Was It About?

It was about a couple, David (Johnny Pacar) and Tricia (Christie Burson) Rosen.  They’re rich in the way that most Lifetime couples are, in that they own a really big house, Tricia is an online yoga instructor, and David’s business is ill-defined but it keeps him away from home for extended periods of time.

Tricia is also 8 months pregnant!  With David away on business, Tricia needs a homecare nurse.  She has two to choose from.  There’s Irene (Vanessa Reseland), the sullen nurse that’s actually assigned to her.  Irene has a shady history of stealing medication and being rude to patients.  And then there’s Katy (Cynthia Evans), who is Tricia’s talkative neighbor and who spends all of her time at Tricia’s house.

(I don’t blame her!  It’s a really nice house!)

Anyway, since this is a Lifetime film, we know that at least one of the nurses is going to turn out to be crazy and homicidal.  But which one?

What Worked?

For the first hour or so, the film did a pretty good job of keeping you guessing as to which nurse would ultimately turn out to be the dangerous one.  Both Vanessa Reseland and Cynthia Evans were well cast as two very different nurses.  Once it was revealed which nurse actually was the bad nurse, I have to say that she turned out to be even more evil than the typical Lifetime villain.

Shalesha Monique Henderson played Irene’s supervisor, Adele.  Though it was a small role, Henderson made a definite impression.  We’ve all known someone like Adele, someone who doesn’t have any time for any foolishness and who is too busy to waste time being polite.  Adele’s withering look of disgust whenever Irene complained about her assignment was definitely one of the highlights of the film.

What Did Not Work?

The film itself moved a bit slowly and I have to admit that I got a bit depressed while watching it.  Despite all of the melodrama, the film wasn’t quite as over the top as a typical Lifetime film.  Lifetime movies deal with such traumatic issues that you kinda need those over the top, borderline absurd moments to remind you that it’s only a movie.  You really felt their absence in Killer Night Shift.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I was in kind of a bad mood yesterday so I related to Irene’s constant bad mood.  Sometimes, you just don’t want to say “excuse me” when you shove someone out of the way.

Lessons Learned

There’s a lot of money to be made in yoga.

The Prey’s The Thing: THE PROWLER (Sandhurst Films 1981)

Posted on by gary loggins

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While flipping through the channels late one Saturday night, I came across a title called THE PROWLER. It was not a remake of the 1951 film noirdirected by Ida Lupino and starring Van Heflin and Evelyn Keyes, but a slasher shocker with a couple of noir icons in the cast, namely Lawrence Tierney and Farley Granger. Intrigued by this, I decided what the hell, let’s give it a watch! And though Tierney and Granger are in it, their screen time is limited, and I discovered the real star of this film is makeup/special effects wizard Tom Savini.

The plot is your basic “psycho-killer on the loose terrorizing coeds” retread, but the backstory was enough to hook me. We begin with newsreel footage of the troops returning home from WWII in 1945, and a graduation dance at a California college. Pretty young Rosemary Chapman, who wrote her soldier boy…

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Film Review: The Snowman (dir by Tomas Alfredson)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, I finally watched the 2018 thriller, The Snowman, and my main reaction to the film is that it featured a lot of snow.

That’s understandable, of course.  The film takes place in Norway and it’s called The Snowman so, naturally, I wasn’t expecting a lot of sunshine.  Still, after a while, the constant shots of the snow-covered landscape start to feel like almost some sort of an inside joke.  It’s almost as if the film is daring you to try to find one blade of grass in Norway.  Of course, the snow is important because the film’s about a serial killer who builds snowmen at the sites of his crimes.  They’re usually pretty big snowmen as well.  It’s hard not to be a little impressed by the fact that he could apparently make such impressive snowmen without anyone noticing.

Along with the snow, the other thing that I noticed about this movie is that apparently no one knows how to flip a light switch in Norway.  This is one of those films where every scene seems to take place in a dark room.  I found myself worrying about everyone’s eyesight and I was surprised the everyone in the film wasn’t wearing glasses.  I can only imagine how much strain that puts on the eyes when you’re constantly trying to read and look for clues in the dark.

Michael Fassbender plays Harry Hole, a Norwegian police inspector who may be troubled but still gets results!  He’s upset because his ex-girlfriend (Charlotte Gainsbourg) has a new boyfriend (Jonas Karlsson).  He’s also upset because his son (Michael Yates) doesn’t know that Harry is actually his father.  Or, at least, I think that Harry’s upset.  It’s hard to tell because Fassbender gives a performance that’s almost as cold as the snow covering the Norwegian ground.  Of course, he’s always watchable because he’s Fassbender.  But, overall, he doesn’t seem to be particularly invested in either the role or the film.

Harry and his new partner (Rebecca Ferguson) are investigating a missing person’s case, which quickly turns into a multiple murder mystery.  It turns out that the crimes are linked to a bunch of old murders, all of which were investigated by a detective named Gert Rafto (Val Kilmer).  Gert was troubled but he still got results!  Or, at least, Harry thinks that he may have gotten results.  Nine years ago, Rafto died under mysterious circumstances…

Now, I have to admit that when, 30 minutes into the film, the words “9 years earlier” flashed on the screen, I groaned a bit.  I mean, it seemed to me that the movie was already slow enough without tossing in a bunch of flashbacks.  However, I quickly came to look forward to those brief flashbacks, mostly because they featured Val Kilmer in total IDGAF mode.  Kilmer stumbles through the flashbacks, complete with messy hair and a look of genuine snarky bemusement on his face.  Kilmer gives such a weird and self-amused performance that his brief scenes are the highlight of the film.

Before it was released, The Snowman was hyped as a potential Oscar contender.  After the movie came out and got roasted by the critics, director Tomas Alfredson replied that the studio forced him to rush through the production and that 10 to 15% of the script went unfilmed.  Considering Alfredson’s superior work on Let The Right One In and Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, I’m inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt.  The film’s disjointed style would certainly seem to back up Alfredson’s claim that there was originally meant to be more to the film than actually ended up on the screen.

The Snowman is one of those films that doesn’t seem to be sure what it wants to be.  At times, it aspires to David Lynch-style surrealism while, at other times, it seems to be borrowing from the morally ambiguous crime films of Taylor Sheridan.  Ultimately, it’s a confused film that doesn’t seem to have much reason for existing.  At the same time, I’ve also been told that the Jo Nesbø novel upon which the movie is based is excellent.  The same author also wrote the novel that served as the basis for 2011’s Headhunters, which was pretty damn good.  So, read the book and ignore the film.

Hollywood Souffle: WIFE VS SECRETARY (MGM 1936)

Posted on by gary loggins

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Gable’s back and Harlow’s got him , but so does Myrna Loy , with Jimmy Stewart along for the ride in WIFE VS SECRETARY. MGM boasted it had “more stars than there are in Heaven”, and this film is the very definition of “star vehicle”, a harmless soufflé of comedy, drama, and romance all wrapped up in a neat little package by veteran studio director Clarence Brown.

Publicity still for ‘Wife vs Secretary’

The plot’s as thin as Gable’s moustache: He’s a hard-driven publisher, and Loy’s his trusting, faithful wife. Harlow plays his loyal secretary and trusted aide-de-camp. She’s also quite beautiful (obviously, since she’s Jean Harlow!) and Gable’s mother tells Myrna she should get rid of her. Myrna laughs it off, but the seed of doubt has been planted. Jimmy plays Jean’s fiancé, who’s not too happy about being constantly cast aside by Jean’s work demands (and who can…

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Smile When You Say That: Randolph Scott in BUCHANAN RIDES ALONE (Columbia 1958)

Posted on by gary loggins

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The usually stoic Randolph Scott gets to show a sense of humor in BUCHANAN RIDES ALONE, his fourth collaboration with director Budd Boetticher. The humor comes from Burt Kennedy’s script, who did an uncredited rewrite of Charles Lang’s original, foreshadowing his own, later comic Westerns. The result is a good (not great) little film that’s not up to other Scott/Boetticher teamings , but still a gun notch above average.

This one finds Scott as the title character, crossing the border from Mexico to the unfriendly Agry Town, where it seems everyone’s an Agry, and they don’t cotton to strangers. Buchanan just wants to make a pit stop on his way back to West Texas, get himself a nice steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a good night’s sleep. But he runs into trouble at the saloon with young Roy Agry, who is gunned down by Juan de la Vega. Apparently…

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Let’s Talk About The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time (dir by Anthony C. Ferrante)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yesterday was Sharknado Day.

What is Sharknado Day?  If you have to ask, you’ll never understand.  Sharknado Day is the day that the latest chapter in The Asylum’s Sharknado franchise premieres on SyFy.  That’s the day when people like me cause twitter to go over capacity tweeting about the film.  That’s the day good people all across America try to count the number of celebrity cameos while also trying to keep track of all of the homages and references to past movies that are always waiting to be found in every Sharknado Film.  Yesterday was the sixth Sharknado Day since 2013 and, if we’re to believe our friends at The Asylum, it was also the last Sharknado Day.

Is it true?  Was The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time truly the final Sharknado?  Perhaps.  But somehow, I have a feeling that the flying sharks will return someday.  Critics have always underestimated the production savvy of The Asylum and I wouldn’t be shocked if, after a year or two of nostalgia, we saw Sharknado 7: A New Beginning.

But if The Last Sharknado was truly the final Sharknado, then it can be said that the franchise truly went out on a high note.

The plot — well, usually, the conventional wisdom is that the plot of a Sharknado movie really doesn’t matter.  Usually, it’s assumed that all a Sharknado film needs is a lot of shark mayhem and snarky humor.  And that’s true, to an extent.  And yet, I still found myself getting caught up in The Last Sharknado‘s storyline.  It all deals with Fin (Ian Ziering), April (Tara Reid), the head of a robot version of April (again, Tara Reid), Nova (Cassandra Scerbo), and Skye (Vivica A. Fox) traveling through time, hopping from period to period.  Fin and April’s goal is to stop the first Sharknado and to save the life of their son, Gil.  Nova wants to save the life of her grandfather, even though that might change history to the extent that she would never become a great shark hunter.  As for the robot head … well, she develops an agenda of her own, one that really has to be seen to be believed.

The film has a lot of time travel and, of course, the journey from period to period allows for several celebrity cameos.  When Fin ends up in Arthurian Britain, Neil deGrasse Tyson pops up as Merlin.  During the Revolutionary War, a somewhat sarcastic General Washington is played by Darrell Hammond.  Dee Snider plays a sheriff in the old west.  Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott show on the beach in the 60s.  Touchingly, the film even finds a way to include the late John Heard in the action.  (Heard played a key supporting role in the first Sharknado.)  I’m a history nerd, so I enjoyed all of the time travel.  I especially enjoyed the film’s portrayal of Benjamin Franklin as a rather bitchy eccentric, largely because it’s often forgotten that Franklin was, in real life, a bit of a bitchy eccentric.

(Add to that, how can you resist a film the features both dinosaurs and flying sharks?)

The film takes a surprisingly dark turn during the second hour, as Fin and Skye spend some time in a dystopian future and Nova tries to change history by saving her grandfather’s life.  When Fin points out that doing so will change history and that, for Nova to become a great shark hunter, her grandfather has to die, Nova calls him out for being self-centered.  To their credit, both Cassie Scerbo and Ian Ziering play the argument totally straight and both give heartfelt performances.  Amid all of the comedy and the shark-related mayhem, the film develops a real heart.

That heart is at the center of The Last Sharknado.  To a large extent, the sharks are superfluous.  They’re carnivorous MacGuffins.  Instead, the film is about celebrating not only the bonds between Fin, April, Nova, and all of their friends but also the bond that’s been developed between the characters and those of us who have watched them over the course of six films.  Towards the end of the film, when Fin talks about what his friends and family mean to him, it’s clear that he’s also speaking for the filmmakers.  Just as Fin thanks his friends for sticking with him, the filmmakers take the time to thank the audience for sticking with them.  It was a heartfelt scene and it was the perfect way to end The Last Sharknado.

To those who do not celebrate Sharknado Day, it may seem strange to say that I got emotional while watching the final scene of The Last Sharknado on Sunday night.  Then again, is it any stranger than the idea of a franchise about a bunch of sharks flying through the air, spinning around in a funnel, becoming a major pop cultural milestone?

It’s a strange world and we’re all the better for it.