Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.1 “Show Me A Hero/Slam Dunk”

Posted on May 14, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion, YouTube, Plex, and a host of other sites.

Smiles, everyone, smiles! It’s time to start the 5th season!

Episode 5.1 “Show Me A Hero/Slam Dunk”

(Dir by Phillip Leacock, originally aired on October 10th, 1981)

The fifth season brings some changes to Fantasy Island.

For instance, at the start of the season premiere, Roarke gifts Tattoo a platform that he can stand on while greeting and saying goodbye to the guests and so that he can, visually, be on equal footing with Mr. Roarke. From what I’ve read, this was something that Herve Villechaize specifically requested as a condition for agreeing to continue with the show. Considering that the previous season didn’t give Tattoo much to do, I can understand Villechaize’s logic.

The other big change is that Roarke has a new assistant. His goddaughter, Julie (Wendy Schaal), has spent the summer working on Fantasy Island. She only appears briefly in this episode, asking Mr. Roarke if she can greet the guests with him. Roarke tells her that she’s not quite ready but perhaps next week, she will get the opportunity….

And really, Julie should feel good about that because neither fantasy is really that interesting this week.

Matt Kane (Sonny Bono) is a short sportswriter who wants to become a great basketball player and play for a team called the California Top Hatters (who the Hell came up with that name?) because he thinks that’s the only way that he’ll be able to win the heart of Ginger Donavon (Jenilee Harrison), the daughter of the team’s coach (Forrest Tucker). Mr. Roarke warns Matt that there’s more to love than being able to play basketball but he still gives Matt a pair of magic sneakers.

Matt becomes a great basketball player. (For some reason, the team is practicing on Fantasy Island). Coach Donavon says that, if Matt wants a place on the team, he’ll have to beat out rookie sensation Skyhook Schuyler (Peter Isacksen). Fortunately, Matt comes to realize that he can’t win Ginger by being the best player. Instead, he has to be a better person. He removes his shoes and bombs the try out. But he gets to leave the island with Ginger.

Sonny Bono was a frequent guest star on both this show and The Love Boat. He always played dorky guys who tried too hard to be cool. That’s certainly the case here but what should be charming is made a bit bland by the total lack of chemistry between him and Jenilee Harrison. On the plus side, Tattoo actually gets to do something in this fantasy, serving as a confidante to Skyhook. It turns out that Skyhook is just as insecure about being tall as Tattoo is about being short. To help Skyhook, Tattoo paints a picture of him so that Skyhook can see his kind soul. Awwww! Seriously, Herve Villechaize totally earned his right to stand on that platform.

As for the other fantasy, Helen Ross (Connie Stevens) is engaged to Ted Kingman (Martin Milner) but she can’t get over her former lover, John Day (David Hedison). She thinks that John died while serving in the military but Mr. Roarke reveals that John actually survived the war and he lives on a nearby island. Helen is reunited with John, just to discover that he’s a cad who faked his own death and became a deserter. Helen leaves the Island feeling confident in her decision to marry Ted.

It’s only after she leaves that the truth is revealed. Ted is currently serving a prison sentence. Mr. Roarke arranged for Ted to have a weekend with freedom, on the condition that he lie about his situation to Helen so that she could move on from their failed romance. So, basically, Mr. Roarke took Helen’s money and then lied to her. Uhmm …. seriously, what the Hell, Mr. Roarke?

This was a bit of an underwhelming start for the fifth season but fear not! Next week …. Roddy McDowall returns as the Devil and he wants Mr. Roarke’s soul!

Til then….

Scenes That I Love: Gerrit Graham Battles Inflation in Robert Zemeckis’s Used Cars

Posted on May 14, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to director Robert Zemeckis!

Today’s scene that I love comes from Zemeckis’s 1980 comedy, Used Cars! In this scene, used car salesman Gerrit Graham interrupts a televised presidential address so that he can demonstrate the best way to deal with inflation.

(Of course, he does the demonstration at a rival used car lot.)

Jack Warden watches as his cars blow up while Graham’s boss (Kurt Russell) tries to keep his business partner (Deborah Harmon) from noticing what is happening on the television.

“That price is too high!”

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Sofia Coppola Edition

Posted on May 14, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today is the birthday of one of my favorite American directors, the one and only Sofia Coppola! In honor of this day, here are….

4 Shots From 4 Sofia Coppola Films

The Virgin Suicides (1999, dir by Sofia Coppola, DP: Edward Lachman)

Lost In Translation (2003, dir by Sofia Coppola, DP: Lance Acord)

Marie Antoinette (2006, dir by Sofia Coppola, DP: Lance Acord)

Somewhere (2010, dir by Sofia Coppola, DP: Harris Savides)

Here’s The Long-Awaited Trailer For Megalopolis!

Posted on May 14, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Cannes Film Festival opens today. One of the most anticipated films on this year’s program is Francis Ford Coppola’s Megalopolis, a long-time passion project from Coppola that the studios apparently judged to be unsellable.

I have to admit that, from what I heard about the film, I was a bit skeptical about it. But, earlier today, I saw the trailer and I’ll just say that it won me over. The visuals, the humor, the fact that Coppola seems to be aware that his film is vision is a bit over the top, all of them fill me with a new-found hope for this film.

Here’s the trailer for Megalopolis!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.4 “Disaster Squad”

Posted on May 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Ponch attacks a reporter …. or does he?

Episode 2.4 “Disaster Squad”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on October 7th, 1978)

In a change-of-pace for this show, it’s Officer Jon Baker who gets a girlfriend in this week’s episode. Ellen Roberts (Liberty Godshall) is a recently divorced woman with an annoying 4 year-old named Chris (Christian Zika). Because Baker doesn’t want any kids around to ruin his action, he gets Ponch to hang out with Chris. Fortunately, it turns out that Chris loves motorcycle and even owns his own mini-bike.

Impressed by how well Chris can handle his bike, Ponch enters Chris in a children’s dirt bike race. When one of the other racers knocks Chris down in the middle of the race, an angry Chris says that he’s going to hit the other racer. Ponch tells Chris to never hit anyone and he says that he’s ashamed to hear Chris speak like that. Chris promises not to ever fight.

But then, the next morning, Chris turns on the TV and sees a report about Ponch punching out an obnoxious news reporter (Harvey Jason) who got in the way while Ponch and Jon were dealing with a suicidal motorist. The anchorman (played by Regis Philbin!) then comes on TV and basically says that Ponch is the epitome of everything bad about the police. Chris starts sobbing. Ponch lied about not fighting! Chris hops on his mini-bike and, still crying, drives away.

What Chris doesn’t know is that Ponch was set up. Lee and the members of “the Disaster Squad” have been following Ponch and Baker around, filming accidents, and getting in the way. (At one point, one of Lee’s men event tosses a road flair under a car that’s leaking oil, causing an explosion.) Lee doctored the tape of an earlier confrontation with Ponch to make it appear the Ponch threatened and hit him.

But that doesn’t matter to Chris. With tears flowing down his cheeks, he drives his little motorcycle into the Los Angeles river. Fortunately, Ponch and Baker find him in time to save his life and teach him an important lesson about fake news.

This episode …. where to begin? It opened with a good chase scene and it featured a truck flipping over so that was good. But then bratty little Chris showed up and the whole episode went downhill. The child playing Chris was, to be charitable, not exactly the world’s best actor and his over-the-top reaction to seeing Ponch hit someone was bit too silly to inspire anything other than a chuckle. “Ponch said never to hit anyone!” Chris wails. Well, kid, Ponch is a damn hypocrite. Sorry.

It was all pretty silly. Baker finally got to do something other than gaze at Ponch in amazement but, in the end, the story was still pretty much Ponch-centered. One thing I noticed about this episode is that Getraer had absolutely no sympathy for Ponch, even though he believed Ponch was being set up. Seriously, I get that Getraer has a lot to deal with but does he have to be a jerk all the time?

Next week …. Ponch and Baker continue to keep California safe!

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For Rope!

Posted on May 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasion ally Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie ! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We snark our way through it.

After we finish up this week’s #MondayActionMovie on Mastodon , we will be hopping over to twitter where #MondayMuggers will be showing 1948’s Hitchcock classic Rope! The film is on Prime and it starts at 10 pm et!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in. If you want to join the live tweets, just hop over to twitter, pull Rope up on Prime, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag!

Enjoy!

The Films of 2024: Orion and the Dark (dir by Sean Charmatz)

Posted on May 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 1995, an 11 year-old boy named Orion (voiced by Jacob Tremblay) lives in Philadelphia.

He has two loving parents. He lives in a nice house. He has his fist crush, on his classmate Sally (voiced by Shino Nakamichi). He has a bully (voiced by Jack Fisher) who enjoys giving him a hard time and he has several notebooks full of his thoughts and drawings. He also has a lot of fears.

Indeed, it’s his fears that largely define Orion. Some of his fears are understandable. I don’t like wasps or murder clowns either. Some of his other fears are a bit more elaborate. He’s scared of his bully but he’s even more scared of fighting his bully because he might accidentally break the bully’s nose and drive a piece of bone into the bully’s brain, therefore killing him. His biggest fear, however, is his fear of the Dark.

In fact, Orion spends so much time talking about how much he hates the dark and how scared he is of the dark that Dark (Paul Walter Hauser) appears to him in human form and explain that he’s getting tired of Orion blaming him for anything. Dark takes Orion with him as he travels across the world, bringing darkness to various countries and overseeing various other elements, like Sweet Dreams (Angela Bassett), Unexplained Noises (Golda Rosheuvel), Insomnia (Nat Faxon), Quiet (Aparna Nancherla), and Sleep (Natasia Demetriou). Dark shows Orion that there’s no need to scared of the dark and that everyone involved is just doing their job. Orion comes to understand and appreciate Dark but, when he makes the mistake of saying that he still kind of likes Light (voice by Ike Barinholtz) better, it leads to a lot of hurt feelings and resignations….

If this sounds a bit weird, one should keep in mind that the story is being told by the adult Orion (voiced by Colin Hanks) to his daughter, Hypathia (Mia Akemi Brown). Adult Orion is telling the story to help Hypathia deal with her own fears and it soon becomes obvious that he’s making it up as he goes along. Hypathia is aware of this and has no hesitation about calling out the stuff that doesn’t make any sense. And when Orion proves incapable of coming up with a satisfactory ending for his story, Hypathia jumps into the story herself in an attempt to bring it all to a proper conclusion. But once she’s in the story, can she get back out?

Orion and the Dark may sound like a standard “conquer your fears and believe in yourself” animated film but the script was written by Charlie Kaufman and, in typical Kaufman fashion, the story is full of twists and turns and more than a few moments of commentary on the whole act of storytelling itself. There’s actually a lot going on in Orion and the Dark, with the film ultimately becoming a tribute to the power of imagination and to all of the parents-turned-storytellers in the world.

I’m a bit notorious for crying while watching animated films and I will say that Orion and the Dark brought tears to my eyes more than a few times. It’s an incredibly sweet movie, one that can be appreciated by both children and adults. It’s a movie about not just conquering fears but also using those fears to make oneself stronger. The final message is that light cannot exist without the dark and vice versa but that’s okay. There’s much to love in the light but the dark can be lovable too. Fear is a part of life but it’s not the only part of life.

Creatively-animated and featuring a strong cast of voice actors, Orion and the Dark is definitely one to check out.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.14 “Yankee Dollar”

Posted on May 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Sonny’s latest girlfriend gets involved in the drug trade.

Episode 2.14 “Yankee Dollar”

(Dir by Aaron Lipstadt, originally aired on January 17th, 1986)

It’s another night in Miami. Sonny Crockett is looking forward to driving out to the airport and picking up his latest girlfriend, a flight attendant named Sarah (Audrey Matson). For two years, Sarah has been working the Miami to Bogota to Paris and back route. She doesn’t make a lot of money but, as is typical for this show, she lives in a small but very nicely furnished house.

Unfortunately, Sarah dies shortly after Sonny picks her up. She goes into cardiac arrest, the result of a balloon of cocaine bursting inside of her. It turns out that Sarah was working as a drug mule, all so she could make a quick five grand and buy a used BMW.

Seriously, what are the chances that Sonny Crockett’s girlfriend would turn out to be a drug smuggler? Maybe she thought she was dating Sonny Burnett. Or maybe, like so many others on this show, she allowed her desire for the finer things in life — like a BMW — to lead her astray. This is one of the major themes of Miami Vice. In a society where conspicuous consumption rules, people will do anything to appear richer than they actually are.

When Sonny and Rico arrest Sarah’s brother, Tim (Clayton Rohner), they discover that he works for a wealthy businessman named Charlie Glide (Ned Eisenberg). Everyone knows that Charlie Glide (a great name, by the way) is involved in the drug trade but no one has ever been able to pin anything on him. In the past, Charlie avoided cocaine but he’s now looking to branch out. Sonny and Rico go undercover to try to bring Charlie down.

Of course, it doesn’t work. Charlie is smart enough to figure out that Sonny and Rico are trying to set him up. Even after Crockett and Tubbs drag him down to the police station and Charlie makes a deal for immunity in return for setting up two other drug dealers (Anne Carlisle and Pepe Serna), he still tries to double cross the cops. And even though the double cross doesn’t quite work, Charlie remains smug in his knowledge that he has immunity.

Except, of course, he doesn’t have immunity from all crimes. Earlier in the episode, Charlie’s executive assistant, Max Rogo (Austin Pendleton), used Charlie’s gun to execute Tim. Even though Crockett and Tubbs know that Max is the one who pulled the trigger and that Max is the one who decided to kill Tim, they still arrest Charlie for the murder. (Max was apparently killed in an earlier shootout so it’s not like he’s around to tell the truth.) “You changed the rules!” Charlie shouts as he’s dragged away.

This episode is Miami Vice at its most cynical. Crockett and Tubbs can’t get Charlie for the crime he committed so, instead, they set him up for a crime he didn’t commit. They did change the rules in that they decided they no longer have to follow them. The episode is full of characters so desperate for money that they’ll do just about anything, even smuggling a lethal drug in their body. Crockett can only watch helplessly as Sarah dies and, even as Charlie is taken away, there’s never any doubt that he’ll be replaced by someone else, the drug trade will continue, and more people will die just because they wanted to be able to afford a few extra things. Crockett and Tubbs are fighting a war that can never be won. Whatever victories they get ultimately feel hollow. Arresting Charlie won’t bring Sarah back and it won’t stop more innocent people from dying. Ned Eisenberg was wonderfully smug as Charlie Glide and Austin Pendleton was appropriately creepy as the always-smiling Max Rogo. This was a good episode, one that challenged the traditional cop show narrative. How long can one fight a losing war?

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For Fantastic Four!

Posted on May 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 1994’s Fantastic Four! Selected and hosted by Rev. Magdalen, this movie was produced by Roger Corman and never released! So, you know it has to be good!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in. If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up Fantastic Four on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag! The live tweet community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Scenes That I Love: The Opening of Top Gun

Posted on May 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On this date, 38 years ago, Top Gun was released and the movie changed forever.

From the opening shot, Top Gun captured the attention of audiences who understood that, though the film’s script may have been full of cliches and though the movie was basically just a remake of the old service moves of the late 30s and 40s, it didn’t matter because jets are freaking cool.

And that opening scene is today’s scene that I love!

Happy Top Gun Day!