Music Video of the Day: See You In Hell by Grim Reaper (1982, directed by ????)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Grim Reaper was so hardcore that they ever had Satan himself watching over their concerts!

See You In Hell is probably best remembered for Beavis and Butt-Head’s epic takedown of both the video and the singer.

Unlike certain other musicians — Oh hai, Winger — Grim Reaper was actually a good sport about Beavis and Butt-Head’s mockery. Mike Judge once told David Letterman that one of the scariest moments of his life was when he ran into Grim Reaper’s lead guitarist while backstage at a concert. Judge was expecting the guitarist to be angry with him but instead, he said that the band enjoyed and agreed with Beavis and Butt-Head’s critique. He also sent Judge copies of the band’s other two videos so that the boys could take a crack at them.

Enjoy!

Invasion of the Pod People (2007, directed by Justin Jones)

Posted on October 3, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

One day, someone said, “Why don’t we remake Invasion of the Body Snatchers but instead of having the pod people act emotionless, we’ll have them turn into predatory lesbians?”

Of course, the movie went straight into production.

Erica Roby plays Melissa, who works for a PR firm in Los Angeles. After a meteorite shower, she starts to notice that the people at work and in her apartment complex are all getting strange new ginger root plants and they are all starting to act out-of-character. For example, Melissa’s formerly bitchy boss, Samantha (Jessica Bork), suddenly wants to make out all the time. Meanwhile, the husband of one of Melissa’s clients break into Melissa’s apartment, says that his wife has been replaced, and then shoots himself. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the body snatchers have once again arrived on Earth and that they’re replacing humans with doppelgangers. (The main difference is that the body snatchers waited for their victims to fall asleep while the doppelgangers just hatch from the plant and beat whoever it is that they are replacing to death.) Melissa and her co-worker, Billie (Danae Nason), team up with Detective Alexander (Marat Glazer) to track down where the plants are coming from and destroy them. It’s a Body Snatcher film so don’t expect a happy ending.

Actually, the idea of doing a softcore version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers seems like such an obvious one that I’m surprised that no one did it until 2007. In everything from its visual look to its dialogue to its attitude towards sexuality, Invasion of the Pod People feels like the sort of film that used to show up on late night Cinemax during the 90s. The 90s version, though, would have had Shannon Tweed and Andrew Stevens and that would have been an improvement on the people who are starring in the version that was actually released. Invasion of the Pod People had potential to be a guilty pleasure but the visual style is so flat and unappealing and the soundtrack is so muddy that the movie feels much longer than just 85 minutes. With a little fine-tuning and a more invested cast, Invasion of the Pod People could have been a Skinemax classic but it was just released ten years too late.

Game Review: Nose Bleed (2022, Stanwixbuster)

Posted on October 3, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

You are an office drone, just trying to get your work done without causing any trouble or getting on the bad side of the co-worker who is always reprimanding you for doing something to embarrass everyone else. You are at your desk, not bothering anyone, when suddenly you feel it running down your face. It’s blood. Your nose is bleeding. And no matter how much you try, you cannot get it to stop. Even though there’s an event that you simply cannot get out of attending, you cannot get your nose to stop bleeding.

Nose Bleed is a text-adventure game that is primarily about dealing with a bloody nose but it’s also a game about social anxiety, office politics, and the horror of knowing that there is nothing you can do to prevent further embarrassment. There’s only so long that you can hide a nose bleed and when the people you work with discover what’s happening, their reaction leaves much to be desired. Not only is the text well-written but the visuals also put you right in the story. As the nose bleed continues, just moving the curser from one option to another causes a trail of blood to appear on the screen. Towards the end of the game, my screen was almost totally red. Just like the character in the game, I couldn’t stop the bleeding. It sounds grotesque but this game is about more than just a nose bleed. It’s about the experience of dealing with people who, when they see someone else in distress, can’t do anything but worry about how it’s going to effect them. It’s about the guilt that comes with being told that everything is always your fault. The horror is both visual and psychological and it’s not always easy to deal with the emotions that the game captures. But the ending is very satisfying, making this one of the best recent horror games that I’ve played.

Play Nose Bleed

Music Video of the Day: Poison Heart by Ramones (1992, directed by Samuel Bayer)

Posted on October 3, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Though he had retired from the band to pursue a solo career, Dee Dee Ramone wrote Poison Heart and gave it to Ramones. The story has always been that Dee Dee gave them the song as a way to thank the band for bailing him out of jail. I don’t know if that story is true or not but it does have a ring of truth to it. Print the legend, to quote The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.

The song appeared on the soundtrack for Pet Semetary 2 and the video is clearly inspired by that song, with the child being forcefully dragged through the cemetery while the band performs in what appears to be an underground tunnel.

This video was directed by Samuel Bayer, who has done videos for just about everyone.

Enjoy!

Great Moments In Television History #23: Barnabas Collins Is Freed From His Coffin

Posted on October 2, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

The year was 1967 and, in Collinsport, Maine, a petty criminal named Willie Loomis was about to make television history. Convinced that a fortune in jewelry was hidden in the Collins family’s mausoleum, Willie broke in and opened a coffin that, strangely, was covered in chains. Willie expected to find a fortune. Instead, he found Barnabas Collins, a 200 year-old vampire who transformed Willie into his servant and proceeded to spend the next five years masquerading as a cousin from Britain while searching for both a cure to his condition and for the reincarnation of the love of his life, Josette.

Played by stage actor Jonathan Frid, Barnabas Collins made his first appearance on the April 18th, 1967 episode of Dark Shadows. Though Barnabas was originally only meant to be a temporary addition to the show’s roster of characters, Frid proved to be popular with viewers, like my mother who not only watched the show when it first aired but also when reruns were broadcast in syndication many years later. The show soon came to center on the ruthless vampire.

In fact, Frid and Barnabas became some identified with the show that many are still shocked to learn that Dark Shadows had run for a full year before Barnabas was introduced as a character. When the show airs in syndication, it usually starts with Willie (played by John Karlen) opening Barnabas’s coffin and not with the earlier episodes in which the show’s nominal lead character, Victoria Winters, first arrived at Collinwood and met the members of the family.

Many future horror directors and writers have stated that their interest in the genre began with watching Jonathan Frid on Dark Shadows. And it all began with that one great moment when Willie Loomis opened the coffin and set Barnabas free.

Previous Moments In Television History:

Great Moments In Comic Book History #27: The Skrulls Are Here

Posted on October 2, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Just a few months after introducing themselves to the world, the Fantastic Four appear to be on a crime rampage! The Thing swims out to an oil rig and knocks it over with one punch. The Human Torch melts a memorial. The Invisible Girl steals jewelry. And when New York suffers a huge blackout, witnesses report seeing an arm stretching it’s way into a powerplant and flipping the off switch!

The Fantastic Four claim that they’re innocent and it turns out that they are. Four shape-shifting aliens, known as the Skrulls, have traveled to Earth and are pretending to be the Fantastic Four so that the government will turn on them and it will be easier for the Skrulls to take over the planet. Fortunately, Mr. Fantastic figures out what’s going on. Not only does he fool the Skrull commanders by showing them back issues of Journey Into Mystery and Strange Tales and saying that they’re actual newspapers about the monsters that exist on earth but he also hypnotizes three of the Skrulls on Earth and convinces them that they are cows.

I’ve always liked the Skrulls and it’s always bothered me that they seemed to lose almost every war that they got involved in. How could the Kree defeat the Skrulls? And was it necessary to add insult to injury by having Galactus eat their homeworld? The Skrulls just could not catch a break and I think that’s one reason why they’ve always been popular. With their ability to change their shape and adopt the powers of the heroes that they’re imitating, the Skrulls should have been unstoppable. They should have conquered this planet a long time ago. But the Skrulls, for all of their powers, could just never seem to get it together. To paraphrase Uncle Ben, with great power comes truly rotten luck.

Fantastic Four #2 was not only the first appearance of the Skrulls but it was also the first instance of a Marvel super hero team thwarting an invasion of Earth. (Eventually, Earth being invaded would become a monthly occurrence in the Marvel Universe.) The issue also introduced a major Marvel theme. The Fantastic Four may have saved the world from Mole Man just a few weeks before the Skrulls arrived but it didn’t take long for the general public to turn on them. It was a lesson that would later also be learned by Spider-Man and the X-Men. The general public is extremely fickle when it comes to its super heroes.

And it all started with four shape-shifters coming to Earth. The Skrulls may never win but Marvel still owes much to them.

Fantastic Four Vol. 1 No. 2

(September, 1962)

“The Fantastic Four Meets The Skrulls From Outer Space”

Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: George Klein
Letters: John Duffy

Previous Great Moments In Comic Book History:

Downdraft (1996, directed by Michael Mazo)

Posted on October 2, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

When an out-of-control general was on the verge of destroying the world, Col. Jack Slater (Vincent Spano) did what he had to do and he killed him. Now, Slater is in a military prison and separated from his family. However, he’s offered an opportunity to win his freedom. All he has to do is reassemble his old crew of military/scientist specialists and deactivate an underground computer. The problem is that a mad scientist named LaGrange (Zdenek Maryska) is threatening to use the computer to destroy the world and the underground chambers are patrolled by a killer cyborg that has melded with LaGrange’s mind. Meanwhile, above ground, General Devlin (Paul Koslo) is willing to sacrifice Jack and his team if it means covering up what’s happening underground. If the cyborg doesn’t kill them, the super computer will. If the super computer can’t get the job done, the government cover-up will do what has to be done. If the government can’t do it, the earthquake will have to suffice. Either way, it seems unlikely that Jack and his people are going to escape that underground chamber with their lives.

“Game over, man!”

No one shouted that in Downdraft but they could have because the scenes of the team searching the underground chamber will be familiar to anyone who remembers the space marines exploring the destroyed colony in Aliens.

“I’ll be back.”

No one says that in Downdraft but someone could have because the computer turning on the humans that created it will be familiar to anyone who remembers what John Connor told Sarah in The Terminator.

“Thank you and have a nice day.”

Again, no one says it in Downdraft but they could have because the killer cyborg might as well be named Robocop.

Downdraft takes elements from all of those films and then adds in the type of corrupt general who would send John Rambo to Vietnam and then abandon him there once it became obvious that Rambo had found evidence of American POWs. There’s not much about Downdraft that feels original but I will give Downdraft credit for including a little bit of everything. Not only is there a killer robot and a super computer and an untrustworthy general and a government coverup and a team of quirky nerds who know how to fight but there’s also a race against time to defuse a hydrogen bomb and several scenes of people having to climb rickety ladders and cross over chasms on unstable bridges. The action is impossible to follow but when there’s so much of it, it almost doesn’t matter. The main message of the movie is that humanity shouldn’t become reliant on supercomputers to run the world. It’s a good thing we all learned that lesson, right?

Vincent Spano was a good actor, even in this. Whatever happened to him? While he’s saving the world, he also finds time to fall in love with a Russian scientist played by Kate Vernon, who went from playing a key supporting role in Malcom X to starring in this. Everyone has bills to pay. That was as true in 1996 as it is today.

Game Review: Deathtrap (2021, Deathtrap Productions)

Posted on October 2, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

A trip to the market turns into a fight for survival when you are abducted and knocked unconscious. When you awaken, you find yourself in a dark cell. Will you just check out the sealed door, with its keypad? Will you try to figure out how to unlock the trap door or will you search the bookcase? Will you make smart use of the stove or will you make the same mistake that I did? And if you do figure out how to escape the first room, will you be able to find your way out of the abandoned theme park in which you’ve been imprisoned?

Deathtrap is an old school text adventure, one where it’s important to carefully read descriptions, search everything that you can possibly search, and not waste too much time while doing it. It’s also a game that rewards those who are good at solving puzzles. Puzzles, of course, are my main weakness when it comes to Interactive Fiction. I’m terrible at puzzles. I’m the player who dies in a dozen different ways before I finally figure out how to survive and usually, that’s just because I’ve exhausted every other option. Usually, I can only solve puzzles by default.

My fear of puzzles aside, I enjoyed Deathtrap. It’s a well-written game and it’s challenging without being impossible. (I died several times but I imagine people who can actually solve puzzles might not have that problem.) The vivid prose does good job of putting you in the reality of being trapped in a dark and dangerous place and it doesn’t shy away from the consequences of going down the wrong hallway or opening the wrong door. It’s hard not to respect a game that will kill your character just because you randomly opened the wrong door or went the wrong direction or made the wrong decision when it came time to choose whether you wanted to walk or crawl down a hallway. It’s challenging but it’s also very rewarding when you actually do succeed in surviving and escaping. How long will it take you to find your way out?

Play Deathtrap!

Music Video of the Day: Killer Klowns by The Dickies (1988, directed by Chuck Cirino)

Posted on October 2, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

You can probably guess, just from the title, which film featured this song. Written and performed by The Dickies, Killer Klowns played over the end credits of Killer Klowns From Outer Space. The video features scenes from that film, mixed in with the band performing the song behind bars.

The video was directed by Chuck Cirino, who also did the sound design for the film. Killer Klowns From Outer Space has gone on to become a huge cult film, one that is discovered by new fans everyday. Just as the film endures, so do The Dickies. In some form or another, the Dickies have been together since 1977.

Enjoy!

Evil Toons (1992, directed by Fred Olen Ray)

Posted on October 1, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Evil Toons opens, disturbingly enough, with David Carradine hanging himself. Carradine is playing Gideon Fisk, the owner of both a run-down mansion and an ancient book that appears to be bound in human skin. Though Fisk kills himself, he still appears several years later so that he can deliver a copy of the book to the four girls who have been hired to clean his home.

The girls are all students at Miskatonic University, a name that will be familiar to any fans of the work of H.P. Lovecraft. (Those same fans will also have figured out that the book is the Necronomicon.) Jan (Barbara Dare) and Terry (Suzanne Auger) want to get the house cleaned so they can get paid. Roxanne (Madison Stone) wants to party overnight with her idiot boyfriend, Biff (Don Dowe). Shy and intellectual Megan (Monique Gabrielle) is mostly just worried about surviving until morning. After the girls open the book, they get Megan to translate the Latin writing within. This brings to life a cartoon monster, one who looks much like a combination of the Big Bad Wolf and the Tasmanian Devil but which is far more bloodthirsty and horny than either of them. After killing one of the girls and possessing her body, the Monster stalks the other inhabitants of the house.

Not meant to be taken seriously in any way shape or form, Evil Toons was made by Fred Olen Ray for $150,000. That probably explains why, despite the title, there’s only one evil toon and it only gets a minute and a half of screen time before possessing its first victim. Most of the dialogue is deliberately obtuse, with none of the girls showing any alarm upon realizing that forcing Megan to translate the book has condemned everyone to an eternity of torment. The good thing is that there are enough funny lines to hold your interest and the cast is game (and frequently undressed, which is probably why this film still has a cult following). Monique Gabrielle proves that she can scream with the best of them while Madison Stone is genuinely funny as Roxanne, delivering her lines with a playful quirkiness and even indulging in a little physical comedy with a hard-to-open wine bottle.

Fans of B-horror will be happy to see Dick Miller in the role of Burt, the man who hires the girls to clean up the house. After leaving the girls at the house, Burt goes home and watches Bucket of Blood (starring Dick Miller, of course) on television. “How come that guy never won an Academy Award?” Burt asks. Burt’s wife is played by scream queen Michelle Bauer, who gets a guest starring credit for a two-minute role that consists of her reminding Burt what Friday night is supposed to be for.

Evil Toons is undeniably dumb but I laughed more than I was expecting too. I think it helps that the movie confirmed what anyone who grew up watching Saturday morning cartoons has always suspected. Most cartoon characters aren’t that innocent, especially the ones that are drawn in the margins of the Necronomicon.