Doctor Who — The War Games (1969, directed by David Maloney)


The War Games is an episode of firsts and lasts.

It featured the last regular appearance by Patrick Troughton as the Second Doctor.  (Troughton would return for three guest appearances.)  Having played the role for three years, Troughton feared getting typecast and felt it was time to leave.  It was also the last episode to feature Frazer Hines (as Jamie) and Wendy Padbury (as Zoe) as companions.  (Hines holds the record for appearing in the most episodes as a companion.)  Finally, this episode was the last to be broadcast in black-and-white.

The War Games also featured a very important first.  This episode featured the first appearance of the Time Lords and the first trip to their home planet.  This was the first episode that showed the society that the Doctor fled when he stole his TARDIS and went to Earth.

At ten episodes, The War Games was either the second or third-longest serial in Doctor Who history, depending on whether or not you count The Trial of the Time Lord as just one long (and regrettable) serial.  The serial opens with the Doctor and his companions apparently landing in No Man’s Land during World War I.  As things progress, the Doctor notices anachronistic technology and Jamie is shocked when a redcoat shows up in a World War I prison.  The Doctor discovers that an alien known as The War Lord (Philip Madoc) has determined that humanity is the most bloodthirsty race in the universe and that he has abducted soldiers from Earth’s bloodiest wars.  They are fighting war games on The War Lord’s planet and the survivors will become the members of the War Lord’s army.  Helping the War Lord is the War Chief (Edward Brayshaw), a renegade Time Lord.

(Just as with The Time Meddler‘s Monk, there’s a fan theory that the War Chief was an early incarnation of The Master.  I don’t believe it, myself.  The Master was far more cunning than The War Chief.)

Despite running for four hours, The War Games is a rare Doctor Who serial that doesn’t have any slow spots and the scenes where the characters cross from war zone to war zone are creatively realized.  The serial starts out as if it’s going to be yet another dry historical episode and then it gradually reveals that all is not as it seems.  I especially liked the performance as Jane Sherwin as Lady Julia, an ambulance driver in the World War I zone.  (Jane Sherwin was also the wife of Doctor Who’s then-produccer Derek Sherwin.)

What really makes The War Games stand out is the final episode.

Having brought an end to the War Games, the Doctor is faced with the impossible prospect of returning the soldiers to their proper times.  He is forced to call upon The Time Lords for help.  Bernard Horsfall, Trevor Martin, and Clyde Pollitt appear as the Time Lords, who dematerialize the War Lord and send the soldiers back home with no memory of what happened.  Unfortunately, The Time Lords are not just going to let the Doctor off the hook for violating their police of non-interference.

First, Jamie and Zoe are sent back to their original times, both with no memory of their life on board the TARDIS.  The Doctor is then put on trial for having stolen his TARDIS and interfering in time and space.  The Doctor argues that he has been fighting evil.  The Time Lords accept his argument and then say that his punishment is to be sent to 20th Century Earth.  He’ll keep his TARDIS but he won’t be able to use it.  And, because the Doctor is well-known on Earth, he’ll have to regenerate.  He’s given five faces and told to pick one.  The Doctor refuses them all.  The Time Lords pick one.  “That’s the worst one!” the Doctor says before he finds himself spinning through space and time.

It’s a poignant ending to the Second Doctor’s adventures.  The Time Lords do not come across as being as bad as the Doctor often made them out to be but it is easy to see why an adventurer like the Doctor would feel constrained by their society.  That the Second Doctor called them for help despite knowing what the consequences would be not only shows how dangerous The War Lord’s plan was but also how the Doctor would always do the right thing even when it was dangerous for him to do so.  The Time Lords could have just as easily dematerialized The Doctor as punishment for stealing his TARDIS.  Jamie and Zoe are spared punishment but they lose their memories of the amazing adventures they shared.  And the Doctor changes once again.

For viewers like me, who got to know Doctor Who from the episodes that were broadcast late at night on PBS, The War Games is a bridge between “old” Doctor Who and the classic era of Jon Pertwee and Tom Baker.  In America, we didn’t get to see much of Patrick Troughton’s Doctor but what we got established him as one of the best to ever play the role.

 

Yor, The Hunter From The Future (1983, directed by Antonio Margheriti)


Yor (Reb Brown, wearing a loin-cloth and blonde wig) is a hunter who makes his way through the desert, fighting dinosaurs and cavemen and drinking the blood of his enemeis.  Yor finds a village and, after saving Kalaa (Corrine Clery) and Pag (Luciano Pigozzi) from a dinosaur, he becomes a valued member of the community.  Yor does not know much about his past and he is searching for the meaning behind an amulet that he wears.  With Kalaa and Pag, he goes on a quest for answers and instead finds himself being attacked by flying saucers, robots, and laser beams.  Despite the dinosaurs and the cavemen, it turns out that this film is taking place in the future, after a nuclear apocalypse.

That’s a great twist and it’s too bad that the film’s title gives it away.  When I first saw this movie as a kid, I loved it.  What kid wouldn’t love a movie the mixed dinosaurs with flying saucers?  Rewatching it as an adult, I still love this film even though I now know better than to take it seriously.  It’s a cheap production and the special effects are so ineptly done that, when the killer robots shoots their laser guns, the beams don’t even appear to be coming out of the barrel.  But I still appreciate the way the film combined two genres, caveman fantasy and post-apocalyptic science fiction and the cast’s commitment to bringing this mix of styles to life.  Director Antonio Margheriti knew that the best way to deal with an incoherent plot was just to toss in a lot of action.  No matter what else you might say about Yor, it’s not boring.

Reb Brown plays Yor and, despite the fight wig, gives one of his better performances.  It helps that, for once, he doesn’t scream like a girl during the action scenes.  John Steiner plays the evil Overlord gives another one of his trademark evil performances.  Yor even gets a Flash Gordon-style theme song!

The movie ends with a cliffhanger and the narrator asking, “Will he succeed?”  Tragically, there was never a Yor 2.

Doctor Who — The Tomb of the Cybermen (1967, directed by Morris Barry)


In 1966, Doctor Who changed forever.

William Hartnell was in failing health and having difficulty remembering his lines.  He was also not getting along with the current production team and was unhappy with the direction of the show.  (He felt that it was getting too violent and dependent upon the bug-eyed monsters who he had originally been told would have no part of the show.)  It became obvious that Hartnell would not be able to continue as the Doctor.  At the same time, Doctor Who was an unqualified hit and one that the BBC wanted to keep going.

Producer Innes Lloyd and story editor Gerry Davis decided that since the Doctor was an alien, they could just say that he could transform himself physically at will, which would allow them to recast the role.  Hearing the news, Hartnell is said to have replied, “There’s only one man in England who can take over, and that’s Patrick Troughton.”

William Hartnell was correct.  Patrick Troughton, 46 at the time, was a stage-trained character actor who had become a television mainstay.  As opposed to Hartnell, whose Doctor was stern and stubborn, Troughton played the Doctor as being “a comic hobo,” (to quote show creator Sydney Newman).  The Second Doctor enjoyed his travels and had an unquenchable curiosity.  Like an interstellar Lt. Columbo, The Second Doctor often played the fool to get the better of his enemies.  He also become a father figure to many of his companions, a role that Troughton also played offscreen as well.

Unfortunately, many of the Second Doctor’s adventures are missing or are only available in audio form.  When I was growing up, my father and I would watch Doctor Who on PBS.  PBS started with the Fourth Doctor and the Fifth Doctor before then going back to the Third Doctor and then finally broadcasting what they had of The First and Second Doctor.  There were so few of the Second Doctor’s serials available that it only took PBS a month and a half to finish up with Troughton.  People like me got to know Troughton’s Doctor more through his later guest appearances (The Three Doctors, The Five Doctors, The Two Doctors) than through his original adventures.

The Tomb of the Cybermen is the earliest serial known to exist in its entirety to feature Troughton as the Second Doctor.  In this 4-epiosde serial (which also launched the show’s fifth series), The Doctor and his companions Jamie (Frazer Hines) and Victoria (Deborah Watling) materialize on the desolate planet Telos and discover an expedition of humans are trying to enter the Tomb of the Cybermen.

In those days before The Master, The Cybermen were one of the Doctor’s main recurring enemies.  Former humanoids who sacrificed their emotions and individual personalities to become cyborgs, the Cybermen were relentless and ruthless and just as dangerous as the Daleks.  (The Cyberman also had something Daleks lacked, the ability to climb stairs.)  In Tomb of the Cybermen, the expedition assumes that the Cybermen buried in the underground tomb are no longer functioning.  It turns out that the Cybermen are just waiting for someone to revive them.

Tomb of the Cybermen is a classic Doctor Who serial.  The plot borrows considerably from the legends about mummies and cursed Egyptian tombs.  The expedition arrogantly enters the tomb, despite being warned not to.  It turns out that the expedition’s leaders want to use the Cybermen as their own army and their willing to sacrifice everyone with them to try to achieve that goal.  The revived Cybermen aren’t interested in an alliance.  The Doctor and his companions try to escape the crypt while also ensuring that the Cybermen will never escape again.  The plot is simple but exciting.  The Second Doctor pretends to be baffled by the tomb and its technology but later reveals that he always understood more than he let on.

The Tomb of the Cybermen is not only a great Troughton showcase.  It’s also historically important as one of the first serials to really upset Britain’s moral guardians.  Reportedly, British children were left terrified and unable to sleep after witnessing the Cybermen bursting forth from their tombs.  The infamous Mary Whitehouse would often cite Doctor Who as being detrimental programming for children.  The Tomb of the Cybermen was one of the serials that she often cited as just being too violent and frightening.

It’s a shame that we don’t have more of Patrick Troughton’s serials to watch because The Tomb of Cybermen reveals him to be the prototype for almost every Doctor who would follow.  (There’s a small moment where The Doctor, Jamie, and Victoria hold hands while stepping into the Tomb and it says so much about who the Doctor was, post-Hartnell.)  I’m glad, though, that we do have this showcase of the Second Doctor at his best.

Warrior Queen (1987, directed by Chuck Vincent)


The place is Pompeii in the year 79 A.D.

One of the jewels of the Roman Empire, Pompeii is overseen by the decadent Clodius Flaucus (Donald Pleasence).  Despite the warning that the statues of the Temple of Jupiter have been crying salt and that a goat was recently born with the head of a human, Clodius refuses to believe that anything bad could happen to Pompeii.  (“I’d like to see the cow!” Clodius exclaims with  a laugh.)

In the arena, the gladiator Goliath (Marco Tullio Cau) throws deadly frisbees and demands slave girls as his reward for victory.  In the streets, all the women adore Marcus (Rick Hill) but he has eyes only for one of the new slaves, the comely virgin Vespa (Tally Chanel).  Vespa has been purchased by Berenice (Sybil Danning), a former mistress of Caesar who is secretly working to free the slaves.

Warrior Queen was directed by Chuck Vincent.  Vincent was a veteran of the adult film industry and was considered to be one of the best hardcore directors around.  His X-rated films were even positively written up in the New York Times.  In the 80s, he tried to go mainstream and ended up making movies like this one.  Produced by British B-movie impresario Harry Alan Towers and filmed largely in Italy, Warrior Queen was an attempt to capitalize on the minor sword-and-sorcery revival that followed the success of Conan the Barbarian.  There’s plenty of nudity and violence but there’s not much plot and the film feels much longer than its 70-minute run time.  When the volcano does erupt, it’s represented by stock footage and someone shaking the camera while filming the extras.  Pompeii has never looked so cheap.

The main attraction here is Sybil Danning and Donald Pleasence.  Pleasence gives it his all and earns however much he made for this movie.  Danning is only in a handful of scenes and can be seen yawning at several points in the movie.  I think she’s supposed to be the title character but she’s actually neither a warrior nor a queen.  Rick Hill (of Deathstalker fame) and Tally Chanel are at least appealing as the leads, even if Chanel looks more like a lost cheerleader than a Roman slave girl.

The main thing that I learned from watching this film is that the lava that hit Pompeii wasn’t actually that thick, wide, or deep and everyone should have been able to just hop over it and escape.  Anyone who died at Pompeii has no one but themselves to blame.

Music Video of the Day: Careful What You Wish For by Bad Omens (2018, directed by Orie McGinniss)


“Careful what you wish for” is a frequent horror theme.  We all know that, when the monkey paw curls its finger, we might think it’s a positive thing but the opposite usually turned out to be true.  Did you wish for someone in a box?  Who wished for someone in a box?

This music video was one of the many Bad Omens videos directed by Orie McGinness, who has also done videos for Warbringer, Dayshell, Afterlife, Gideon, American Sin, and a host of others.

Enjoy!

Horror Game Review: 331 Oakmont Drive (Yunakitty, Choose Your Story)


Before I review this game, I have to give a shout-out to the community at Choose Your  Story.  I play a lot of online interactive fiction games and I spend time on a lot of different gaming sites.  Some of them are good.  Most of them are not.  However, the games at Choose Your Story have been consistently good and enjoyable to play and read.  The games follow the Choose Your Own Adventure format and it’s obvious that most of the writers put a good deal of effort into their stories.  The community, as well, seems to offer up constructive criticism and really, the entire site feels like an antidote to all of the terrible things that you usually come across online.  Whenever I play some overly long Twine game that was written by someone who clearly gave more thought to their background music than to actually coming up with a decent storyline, it makes me appreciate the work being done at Choose Your Story.

As for 331 Oakmont Drive, it’s an enjoyable horror storygame that is perfect for the Halloween season.  You are a college student who, along with your friend Sophie, makes extra money cleaning other people’s houses.  You have been hired to clean 331 Oakmont Drive but you have a bad feeling about the place as soon as you arrive.  Do you stay in the house and do the job (you do need the money) or do you immediately try to leave?  Either choice will take you on a different journey through 331 Oakmont Drive.  This game has several endings.  Some are happy, most are not.  With many rooms to explore (and try to escape) and many macabre fates possibly waiting, this is one of those games that can be played over and over again.  The game is entertaining, it’s well-written, and some thought was actually put into the story.  It’s a game that will get you in the mood for the Halloween season.

Play 331 Oakmont Drive here!

Doctor Who — The Time Meddler (1965, directed by Douglas Camfield)


Today, everyone knows the origins of the Doctor.  We know that the Doctor is a Time Lord and a native of the planet Gallifrey.  We know that the Time Lords had a policy of not interfering with other civilizations.  They could travel through time but they were never to change history.  We know that the Doctor, even after stealing the TARDIS, remained true to that belief while other renegade Time Lords did not.

It wasn’t always like that.  During the show’s early years, the Doctor was meant to be a very mysterious figure and it was implied that he himself had invented (rather than stolen) his TARDIS.  It wasn’t until nearly two years into the show’s original run that we met anyone else from the Doctor’s home planet and that we finally got to see a TARDIS that could actually change shape.

All of that happened in The Time Meddler, a four-episode serial the originally aired from July 3rd, 1965 to July 24th.  In this episode, the Doctor’s TARDIS materializes in Northumbria in 1066.  With Ian and Barbara having recently returned to their own time, the Doctor (William Hartnell) is now traveling with Vicki (Maureen O’Brien) and Steven Taylor (Peter Purves), both of whom come from the future and who are much less argumentative than either Ian or Barbara.  Finally, the Doctor has companions who are not only happy to be there but who are willing to do whatever he says.  Though the Doctor tells Vicki that he will miss Ian and Barbara, he does seem much more relaxed in this serial than in previous ones.

The Doctor’s arrival is observed by The Monk (Peter Butterworth), a mysterious figure who doesn’t seem to be surprised at all to see a blue police call box materialize in 1066.  A time meddler who it is implied has met the Doctor before, the Monk is plotting on changing the course of history by wiping out King Harald Hardrada’s Viking invasion fleet, therefore leaving Harold Godwinson and his troops fresh and fully armed so that they can then defeat William The Conqueror at the Battle of Hastings.  The Doctor is captured early on by the Monk, leaving Steven and Vicki to deal with the suspicious locals.

The Meddling Monk was truly a great creation.  As played by Peter Butterworth, he wasn’t so much an evil-doer as he was just someone who thought it would be fun to change history.  (I’ve always disliked the theory that the Meddling Monk was an early incarnation of The Master.  The Master was always evil while the Monk was basically a prankster.)  Peter Butterworth gives an amusing and energetic performance as the Monk and the highlights of the serial are the scenes between him and Hartnell.  They both bring out the best in each other and Hartnell, who could often seem testy while acting opposite the younger actors who played his companions, truly seems to enjoy playing opposite an actor who was basically his equal in both skill and experience.

This episode is best-known for being the first episode to introduce another member of The Doctor and Susan’s race.  It was also the first episode to feature a TARDIS other than the Doctor’s.  (The Monk’s TARDIS works, which reminds the viewer of just how broken-down the Doctor’s vehicle actually is.)  It is often overlooked that it was also one of the better “historical” episodes.  Doctor Who was originally envisioned as a show that would teach younger viewers about history.  Unfortunately, the purely historical episodes were often dry and uninvolving.  This episode teaches about the Battle of Normandy but it also livens things up by giving the Doctor a worthy adversary.

It can be difficult to judge Hartnell’s time as the Doctor, just because so many of his serials are either incomplete or totally missing.  For viewers who are used to a younger and friendlier Doctor, Hartnell’s Doctor can seem rather grouchy.  The Time Meddler, though, features William Hartnell at his best and is one of the highlights of Doctor Who‘s early years.

The Barbarians (1987, directed by Ruggero Deodato)


In a magical land of dragons and fierce warriors, the evil sorcerer Kadar (Richard Lynch) attacks a peaceful group of traveling entertainers, slaughtering the majority of them and kidnapping their queen, Canary (Virginia Bryant).  Canary has a magical ruby that Kadar hopes will increase his power.  Canary also has two sons who are each sold separately into slavery.  Years later, these muscle-bound twins, Kutchek (Peter Paul) and Gore (David Paul), will be reunited and will team up to save their mother, fight a dragon, and free the kingdom from Kadar.

An Italian-American co-production that was directed by Ruggero Deodato and distributed by Cannon, The Barbarians was a starring vehicle for the so-called Barbarian Brothers.  Peter and David Paul were twin bodybuilders who appeared in a handful of films and who are today best-known for getting cut out of Oliver Stone’s Natural Born Killers.  (In his director’s commentary, when explaining why their scene didn’t work, Stone said, “It was my fault.”)  Peter and David Paul were not natural-born actors.  They’re both pretty stiff in The Barbarians but their natural chemistry as brothers made up for a lot.  They spend most of their screentime in The Barbarians bickering and yelling at each other and you get the feeling that was something they had a lot of experience with.

The Barbarians starts slow.  It takes a while to get going and the plot has the ramshackle feel of many Cannon productions.  Richard Lynch, as always, is a great villain and familiar faces like Michael Berryman and George Eastman have small roles.  Trying to keep track of who is betraying who can require keeping a scorecard while watching the movie but The Barbarians does a good job of creating its fantasy world (and it looks really good for a film that was probably not made for much money) and once the action finally does get started, there’s enough of it to keep things entertaining.  The Barbarians battle not only Kadar’s sorcery but a dragon as well and they do it all while trash talking each other.  The film feels like a cross between Dungeons and Dragons and a regional wrestling production.  It’s entertainingly dumb.