Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.14 “Paroled to Love/First Impressions/Love Finds Florence Nightingale”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Gavin MacLeod of the clan MacLeod declares (after the song number) “There can be only one!”, runs amok

This episode should be called- Lying Liars Who Lie!!!!

There are three stories all of which have pathological liars. The first story is “Paroled to Love” and it is beyond impossible. Gloria Baxter (Vicki Lawrence) is a criminal defense lawyer who just got a pardon for her embezzling client Eddie (Richard Kline). As the plot would have it, Eddie and Gloria love one another, but Eddie has a secret: he done did it and Gloria thought he was an innocent man!

Sidenote: as you may know, I was a criminal attorney for a number of years and in all of those cases, I can’t say that I had no innocent clients because I had one. One!

When I told my criminal defense attorney public defender friends that I had an actually innocent client, they told me to hold on because they needed to get recesses in the courthouse so that all of the PD’s could come out and hear this tale that sounded like lore! These attorneys had been doing criminal defense for decades and never had an innocent client! There was a crowd of over 70 attorneys, both public and private! They listened rapt to every detail of my story like I was Gandolf telling the stories of the rings!

I told them that I had documented proof that the police officer had not only lied, but falsified his police report, you could feel their goosebumps. Several of them begged me to just let them sit next to me as co-council or let them file a motion for me for free just so they could be part of this once in a career event. So, why in the world did Gloria not just presume that Eddie was not only guilty but a liar? Was this her first case? Was she hit on the head with something hard? Was her law school in Candyland?

Yes, Eddie lied to Gloria so she would get him a pardon when in fact, he was an embezzler, and she insists that to have her love he must go back to jail. At first, Eddie refuses, then she changes her mind, and Eddie decides to change his mind and go back to prison! It’s weird for many reasons: lawyers can’t date their clients and once a pardon is issued, it can’t be revoked! Once a pardon is accepted- It’s over.

The second story with a lying liar who lies is the Phyllis Faraday (Carole Cook) storyline. Phyllis wants to get a part playing of Florence Nightingale so decides to be a fake nurse for the Doc in order to get practice. Sadly, there was a shuffleboard accident and she did not set a compound fracture properly, the patient became septic, died, and the show was renamed The Death Boat. The show still had song and dance numbers, but they were all by Adele.

JK, she meets a guy who’s a rancher out of Wyoming, who thinks she’s an actual nurse and he falls in love with her after 24 hours because he thinks she’s a tenderhearted nurse. However, she is not a nurse and must confess this.

But did she really need to confess anything? I mean, this guy fell in love with her after 24 hours. How do you know that he won’t fall in love with the cab driver who picked them up for the ship and took them to their hotel or a cashier or anyone he meets for any period of time over 60 seconds?

The last storyline of lying liars who lie was probably the most weird, but it did allow them to have their required vaudeville acts of impressions and singing. Doris (Leia’s Mom) and Marsha (Marilyn Michaels) started a talent company with Julie. Gotta say, Julie seems agitated – I wonder why? Could it be????

Unfortunately, Doris and Marsha booked all of these celebrities to go on the cruise, but they sent them on the wrong cruise. They sent the stars on an Alaskan cruise and they didn’t bring any warm clothes which makes me wonder. Are they all dead? Is this like “Alive?” Why would that cruise ship take these stars aboard, when they were not on the manifest? What kind of a rogue cruise ship was this? Was it, in fact, a ship devoted to human trafficking? Are all these poor Hollywood stars now in some bizarre salt mine fighting to the death for the amusement of The Rumble on the infamous Money Plane???

I couldn’t find the “it’s rumble time”GIF

Doris and Marsha decide to do the most obvious thing: they pretend to be all these different Hollywood stars with OK impressions and then do a song number. Honestly, they might as well do that. It’s so hard for this show to contrive credible reasons for a song and dance number for every episode that I’ve seen so far; so, why not this?

I would describe this episode as OK.

Freddy’s Nightmares Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.5 “Judy Miller, Come on Down”


GUEST REVIEWER ALERT!!! Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex! 

Judy (Siobhan McCafferty) is living a very terrible life. Tom (John DeMita), Judy’s husband, is a spoiled manchild hiding out in school to avoid working. Tom’s parents live with Judy and Tom and they treat Judy like an indentured servant. Judy’s only escape for a better life is to buy lottery tickets and apply to appear on gameshows. Like all Freddy’s I’ve seen, the initial story was not bad and should have remained 22 minutes. However, I will say that in NO WAY was this a horror script at all. It was meant to be a mediocre Twilight Zone script or that should’ve been where it was pitched. In fact, the only real blood was at the very end of the episode where Freddy squeezed a fake heart with blood in it. Really, that was it!

Back to the show, Judy gets called to be contestant on a gameshow, but it gets…weird. Not scary weird, but weird. The game show became a “Pit and the Pendulum” knock off where the host asked Judy personal questions and every answer led to her family members being NOT KILLED, but scratched. They could’ve had the deaths off screen. The show goes on and she wins the gameshow, but instead of the show allowing her to evolve and leave her abusive husband and in-laws, the story continues into ….. time travel. For real, the story took a turn into time travel, which is impossible. Look, I’m an applied physicist- let time travel go because It does not work. Let it go! You can’t save Kennedy! LET IT GO!

Once again, the story ached to end at the 22 minute mark, but had to keep going and where did it go? Time travel. Judy gets the money, stays married, and spends a lot. Then, her older -self time travels by “I went a long way”… so like Trader Joe’s and back because that is difficult with the small-ass parking spaces! Anyway, the older Judy warns her that her husband will cheat on her and she’ll stab him to death. Her older self advises her to give the money away and she’ll be happy. THIS IS STUPID! She was poor at the beginning of the story and miserable! Hey writers, weren’t you there?!!! Simple solution: just get a divorce – California is a no-fault state- Move on!

The problem with this show is that instead of doing re-writes, they took 22 minute stories and doubled them in the stupidest ways possible.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.13 “The Christmas Presence”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This Week, Captain Stubing is unimpressed by proof that God exists…

This episode had surgery, singing, and supernatural beings who did not impress Captain Stubing. I assume Stubing runs into angels on earth just on his way back from shuffleboard- they’re just old hat to him. There is a sexist and abusive husband Jim Markham (Donny Osmond) married to Lori Markham (Maureen McCormick- He wishes!). Henry Beemus (Henry Gibson) and Charlie Dobbs (Keenan Wynn) are two crooks who want to smuggle gold using nativity figurines and Nuns to unknowingly move the stolen gold through customs – this plot annoyed/tired me; it tannoyed me A LOT. The Nuns were traveling with a choir of Dominican children one of whom was deadly ill, requiring surgery!!! Lastly, an Angel with limitless powers was played by Mickey Rooney.

Jim wanted a traditional wife, but Lori wanted to keep her career. He was abusive even by 1970s standards because everyone wanted to hit him. He kept this bitter storyline going until Lori helped Doc Bricker cut into a Dominican Choir Boy’s throat to allow him to breathe! Yes, The Love Boat became The Mercy Ship!

Questions: why was there no blood on any of the scrubs after the surgery? They cut a hole in a kid’s throat! Then, Jim’s heart was changed because he found out that his wife helped save the Dominican Boy’s life. Hold on, did he not know she was a surgical nurse?! If Jim thinks this was something, wait until your wife tells you about the multiple gang related GSWs she has to treat every Wednesday night!

The Dominican boy’s plotline was interminable and there were great lamentations that his tracheotomy was going to prevent him from singing. Duh! He has a hole in his throat! Along with the throat hole plotline, there were the two thieves Henry and Charlie. These storylines just annoyed me. Mostly, they were just weird foils for Mickey Rooney to work his divine powers.

Speaking of powers, Mickey Rooney’s powers were endless: he healed the Dominican boy, allowing him to sing, he created ornaments out of thin air, he transported matter with his mind, he remade people’s thoughts, and spoke to planets! A fair number of these miracles were witnessed by Captain Stubing and he was as casually impressed as I am when I get a 5 dollar off promotion for Civilization VI on Steam. Captain Stubing barely shrugged.

The episode ended with Mickey Roony’s disembodied animated head atop the ship’s Christmas tree. It was just his head and it winked and smiled at them! Save yourselves! RUN!

There was a lot going on in this episode, but overall it was enjoyable if not hyper-strange.

Freddy’s Nightmares Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.4 “Freddy’s Tricks and Treats”


GUEST REVIEWER ALERT!!! Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!

Marsha (Mariska Hargitay) is a medical student with childhood trauma and an affinity for peeping toms. Yep, she likes peeping toms, which made me realize that Gilbert Adler – the story’s writer is not great at writing. In fact, he’s pretty terrible at it, but he did produce an awesomely bad movie “Ghost Ship.” Marsha joins a sleep study with Zach (Darren Dalton) who created a machine that can DVR your dreams. Why would you want to DVR dreams? Who knows?! Have you ever heard someone try to describe their dreams? If so, you need to politely smile and weather the storm.

During her sleep study, Zach gets pervy and sends peeping toms into her dreams and she quasi-undresses. It’s really really weird. I couldn’t figure out what the big mystery was. We learn that Marsha’s parents died, leaving Marsha to be raised by her ultra religious abusive grandmother. Marsha argues with her grandmother and her Nonna has a fatal heart attack. Ok, I don’t understand the mystery. Your parents are dead and your grandmother was mean. Why do you need dream recordings for that? You were there! You were there the whole time!!!

Freddy does make some appearances in the story itself, but doesn’t really cause any harm to Marsha. The perpetual lack of blood really killed the show. At this time, Freddy had sliced his way through at least 4 movies in horrific fashion; so, seeing him impotently nudge a potential victim really makes me sad because you could feel the franchise dying before your eyes.

With no chemistry at all, Marsha hooks up with Zach and he goes into her dream and Freddy bloodlessly takes him away. The story could have been better if it ended after 22 minutes; unfortunately, the story dragged on for another 20 minutes. It’s interesting that there were so many anthology shows coming up at the same time in the late 80s. It wouldn’t be until the mid 90s that The Outer Limits made a return. While science fiction can get traction, it was only a serialized drama “Supernatural” that could really entertain with horror as the theme. The closest we came to a horror anthology was Dark Mirror and that is trash! If you are a “Dark Mirror” fan, who hurt you? I mean it’s like if the reboot of The Outer Limits just decided to be mean all the time. It does make a question though maybe for Lisa: Maybe we should start reviewing the 90s outer limits??? I mean it’s a legit good show….just sayin.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.12 “Baby Talk/My Friend The Excutrist/Programmed For Love”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This Week, “Bix”, a sapient robot, enslaves the crew…

I had not seen “The Love Boat” in forever and it’s really more of a variety show because there are all these straight forward/weird plot lines and song or dance numbers. I watched this episode with my daughters and they were quite confused as to why people were making all of these strange choices. My response:

I’m kind of an angry man; so, I will start with the storyline that infuriated me the most. Franklin (Peter Marshall) brings “Bix” AKA Robby The Robot on the ship. First, I dispute that he’s a robot. “Bix” had flashing lights and could say a few phrases, in that case, when I put up my sound sensitive Christmas lights – I have created robots! Second, the phrases he used hinted at a self-awareness that should’ve demanded Captain Stubing to destroy this evil thing! Third, it kept getting in the way of Franklin and Ruth (Karen Morrow) from knocking boots. Listen Bix, these people don’t have much time left and they clearly discovered a proto-Viagra; so get lost- you puritanical robot!

The next storyline was just weird. Steve (Grant Goodeve) who was somehow NOT on the original Battlestar Galactica and his wife Connie (Donna Pescow – Saturday Night Fever) cannot have children; so, they enlist a surrogate. It becomes very clear that no one knows what a surrogate is because they kept talking about how the baby would have the surrogates traits, meaning I believe they thought Steve was going to sleep with the surrogate- the 70s were weird! Connie, the wife, gets jealous because Steve becomes flirty with the surrogate and it all gets mooted because it turns out that Connie is pregnant, but they still slept with the surrogate anyway- just kidding.

The last storyline was all about Two Broke Girls (see what I did there). I found it really very depressing even with the dance number. Betsy (Betty White) was the trustee for Aunt Sylvia (Carol Channing), but it turns out that Sylvia is broke. Sylvia then, hilariously drops her ONLY asset, a diamond necklace, into the ocean, leaving them both penniless. These two intrepid and talented women, desperate for cash, had no choice, but to fight a series of opponents in juvenile-game-themed-death matches in Korea. Sadly, they were the only remaining opponents and had to face off where only one friend would leave with millions of dollars and years of regret! I will have to say that I was impressed with Betty White’s cunning when she was hunting the most dangerous game. This storyline was actually the basis for the Netflix hit “Squid Games”. I am kidding, they actually thought their poverty was hilarious. I did not understand.

Freddy’s Nightmares Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.3 “Killer Instinct”, Case Wright


GUEST REVIEWER ALERT!!! Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!

I am your guest reviewer for the next few “Freddy’s Nightmares”. I have watched three of them and can tell you without a doubt that this show was never really meant to be. At this time, there were two other similar and better shows that were in production or getting greenlit: “The Twilight Zone (reboot)” and “Tales from the Crypt”. This show likely wanted to be “Tales from the Crypt” and I guarantee that the Boomers who wrote “Freddy’s Nightmares” were fans of “Tales”. This story and the other two I watched were likely failed pitches for “Tales” and “Zone”.

The show struggled because network television was not ready for a blood and guts story and certainly not one where Freddy Kreuger, a child murderer pedo, is heavily in the stories. Therefore, he had the role of Crypt Keeper. I’m sure that this was frustrating for Miramax and Wes Craven because Nightmare had amassed nearly 500 Million Dollars. Also, this show was 16 years before Supernatural premiered where audiences craved and demanded gore. The Freddy stories themselves didn’t really lend to horror as much as they were morality play Outer Limits episodes with a story McGuffin to push the clumsy narrative forward.

However, the show could have been saved, IF it were a 30 minute show. In every episode that I watched, the stories ached to roll credits at the 30 minute mark, but the show had an hour slot and the writers tacked on 3 additional act breaks that were always a big oogey mess. Twilight Zone was an hour, but broken into two stories. Tales was 30 minutes and got to do all the gore and nudity it wanted because it was on HBO. Freddy’s overlong padded stories and the FCC restrictions killed what could have been an aggressively mediocre show.

This episode: “Killer Instinct” had a good beginning. Chris Ketchum (Lori Petty) just lost her mother and she wants to honor her by winning track meets even it means losing her soul. BOOM- That is a story- A 30 minute story. At the 30 minute mark, I had seen enough, but I kept going. Chris has heart, but she is losing out to the faster and cuter Nickie (Yvette Nipar) who always beats her in every race and unbeknownst to Chris, Nickie also want to knock boots with Chris’ boyfriend. Chris’ track coach doesn’t help because she is written inconsistently- one moment she’s booting Chris from the team for not trying hard enough and the next she’s giving her evil costume jewelry…. that can kill!!!

Chris gives the evil McGuffin a try and she: runs blurry-fast (which would likely blow out her joints), kills a teacher by choking him with cotton (Yes, that happened), and causes Nickie’s treadmill to go a little faster- it doesn’t hurt Nickie, but Nickie’s workout was slightly more difficult. Wes Craven really needed to give this story another pass. Before Chris can eliminate Nickie (Yvette Nipar) permanently, Nickie strikes first and steals the costume jewelry of doom TCJOD! Nickie uses TCJOD to kill Chris by causing the finish line tape to either decapitate her or break Chris’ neck. It’s unclear how Chris dies, but she does.

The story devolves into a quasi-ghost-zombie-hallucination story. Chris wants revenge and so she sleeps with her boyfriend all gnarly with rotting flesh and she demands that her boyfriend tries to kill Nickie. He doesn’t though- I guess sleeping with a dead person just isn’t what it’s all cracked up to be. Chris starts showing up everywhere in Nickie’s life to drive her insane – including dinner parties and it works really quickly- very quickly. Before the end of the week, Nickie is bludgeoning her boyfriend to death with a…. track trophy, but in her defense she thought it was Chris’ boyfriend! Confused? Yeah, it’s that kind of show. I guess Nickie came in first place in murder!

See you soon!

“If Chins Could Kill” and “Hail to the Chin” Quasi-book reviews by Case Wright


Bruce Campbell is the of Elvis of horror and independent film; in fact, he did play Elvis in “Bubba Ho-Tep”. If you’re into independent filmmaking, genre films, and artistic struggles both of these books “If chins could kill” and “Hail to the chin” are must reads and they are also fantastic audiobooks read by the man himself. Sidenote: I never thought his chin was weird- just manly. I enjoyed these books so much that I read them and then I listened to the audiobooks as well, which allowed me to re-experience the books like a favorite Uncle sharing his adventures with me. His entire life is laid bare in his own words: his successes, struggles, and failures. The second book picks up right after the end of the first one. NB: neither book is ghostwritten- a rarity. Sidenote 2: the audiobook really reveals Bruce’s skill at impersonations- he could do a career just doing that.

Bruce sat down and wrote both of these memoirs and if you’re an “Evil Dead” fan he discusses every single aspect of how the “Evil Dead” films were made. He goes into the same detail with every single show and film he has ever done. It’s not just how the sausage was made, it is the equivalent of discussing the history of the pig breed, how the pigs were raised, the tools they used for slaughtering, when they were made into sausage, the spices used, and the marketing to sell the sausage (Both books are available on Audible). The purpose of this article isn’t to grade these books because it’s just weird to grade a Man’s memories as long as the writing is half-way decent; instead of that very weird thing, I will discuss chronologically the moments that I’ve thought about for years in this uniquely American story.

His early years would be the central casting description of a midwestern “Theater Geek”. I never particularly liked that term, but it’s fairly apt because he lived for the dramatic arts, but NEVER complained or thought any job was beneath him- Refreshing. His entire focus in high school was theater and if he had graduated from college, he would’ve been a drama teacher. Luckily for us, Bruce became a college dropout after 6 months and began working on Evil Dead.

Evil Dead

Evil Dead was created by everyone that any connection to Bruce and his comrades, but there were also guilt feelings. Family members helped, parents helped, law firms helped, and probably even the Easter Bunny contributed to making “Evil Dead”. In the filming, everyone on the film was everywhere all the time and lived like they were quasi-homeless in the abandoned house that any horror fan would recognize. It was amazing to me how they had power to run their equipment. The way he describes it has all the intensity of a man remembering in perfect detail that he knew in his soul that this moment would be life-defining. He was right.

One thing that stood out to me was the guilt that Bruce had for asking his father, who was going through a divorce, for funds for the film. As a dad, I can tell that we want our children to be happy and that doesn’t end because you’re getting divorced, sickness, or even death- we always want our children to succeed. Can parental support get out of hand and make us annoyed? Yes, but this was well within the normal limits for a dad. If Bruce reads this article, I hope that he knows that his dad cherishes every dollar he contributed to his son’s dream. Unless of course, you had a dad like mine- in which case, how is it in the fire/police department, EMT, or Armed Forces these days?

Evil Dead 2 and 3

When he described Evil Dead 2 and 3, it was different because he had become a man. He was married and soon to be divorced. He described the work and the filmmaking the way a master carpenter describes his experience and steps making a $10,000 walnut table from a single piece of wood. Neither Bruce’s nor Sam Raimi’s careers had taken off yet and like many of us facing defeat – they went home. Home was of course with the old crew to make Evil Dead 2. Evil Dead over the years on a budget of $375,000 made $30 million….WHOA, but it was clear that Hollywood didn’t understand what they had- this was decades before Blair Witch and Paranormal Activity. It seems that Army of Darkness solidified Bruce as a name. One moment I remember about his memories of Army of Darkness was how he tried to mentor the extras about the importance of never complaining and hustling on the set. They didn’t listen. In fact, two of the extras defiled the set by having coitus in their costumes between takes…..ew. Maybe they were the first furries…. double ew. Or maybe the extras misunderstood the term “Hustling”?

The 90s

The 90s was Bruce Campbell’s decade. Hollywood finally realized with the success of the X-Files and Pulp Fiction that the audience for off kilter actors and stories was not just large- it had money to spend. Bruce found three things: steady work with Hercules and Xena, his soulmate- his second wife Ida Gearon, and his best friend – Lucy Lawless (Xena). He describes his friendship with Lucy like a brother describes the love and pride he has in a sister who made valedictorian. The Bruce/Lucy friendship spans decades and I hope they become neighbors one day. He describes it with such fondness and admiration; it proves that men and women can have platonic and beautiful friendships that last a lifetime. I’m not crying, you’re crying….leave me alone.

2000s through Burn Notice
Bruce had come into his own and was getting cast in A LOT of genre films. He had become a bona fide working actor. I will note that he gets into thorough detail about every single film that he made during this time period. However, I think that many Gen-Z and Millennials discovered him through Burn Notice and if you’re thinking he spills the tea about any on set drama- HE DOES NOT. He talks about how he enjoys dive bars and the different bartender pours. He describes in detail his experience with the show. I enjoyed the second book a lot, but it got personal for me because he convinced his Co-Star Jeffrey Donavan to visit the troops in Iraq. I give them both a lot of credit for that out of all of the great moments in the second book that’s what I think about the most often.

I am a fan of Bruce Campbell’s obviously, but what stood out to me in this uniquely American story is that you really can be anything here if you work at it.

Happy Birthday, Bruce!

“Don’t Lie”, Dir. Alex Magana, Short Film Review By Case Wright


So we meet again….Alex … Magana. Now look, I assume that most of my readers are good, kind, and decent, but what if you’re not?! I mean what if you’re not that great or you did one REALLY bad thing that you feel guilty about. I’m not saying putting your neighbor in a woodchipper kind of thing, but let’s just include the lessor felonies. If you just need that self-flagellation, my dear ne’er-do-well compadre, this film and Alex Magana is for you.


Alex Magana assaults the senses and art herself. In fact, from the hackneyed plots to the p*rn quality acting, he is the Ed Wood of the digital age! If you don’t believe me, check out the “Smiling Woman”… SERIES…yes, it’s a series! I refuse to call it a franchise! I won’t do it! Luckily, your misery is brief because as terrible as Alex Magana’s films are – he can’t write stories longer than 4 minutes.

“Don’t Lie” shows an influencer, who I think seems a little old for the gig; however, we must let all things slide with Alex. Typically, Alex just films out of his apartment and the hall in his apartment building. The lead actress could be homeless or just live near the building; so, she could be young, but life on the street is hard. In fact, all of the actors could be homeless and this brief filming was their only exposure to …. home. *Sheds Tear*

The story continues where her boyfriend stages her murder to gain additional subscribers, which doesn’t make sense because why subscribe to the deceased? But, Whatever. A psycho then teaches her and her boyfriend a lesson about … honesty… with a knife. Apparently, neither she nor her boyfriend understand how their legs can make them move around and even away from things or people.

If we look at “Don’t Lie” like an industrial film, like “The Importance of Good Manners”, “Why you should drive safely”, and “Don’t ever put that in your Bu..” anyway. My point is that maybe “Don’t Lie” is salvageable as a lesson film. The lesson is this: Don’t let Alex Magana have any recording devices! EVER! He’s got to be stopped! He’s really prolific! How is paying for all this very very low budget dreck?!

Pulp Fiction, (Written & Dir. Quentin Tarantino) Review by Case Wright


“Pulp Fiction” was as peak 1990s as much as these two:

Or this Archie’s Comic live action show

While “X-Files” attracted big audiences 60-40% male and the reverse for “90210”, “Pulp Fiction” captured 1994: Jocks, Nerds, Guys, Women, Girls, Boys, Boomers, X-ers, Older Millennials, you name it – Everyone was into Pulp Fiction. Tarantino described this art as a number of cliches: the mobster attracted to the mob wife, the boxer who tricks the mobsters into giving him money and NOT throwing the fight, and the killer who finds God. The cliches dig into DNA. WHY? Because they have the same motivations as our caveman ancestors: the unobtainable mate, a sense of honor, and redemption. These themes are the basic building blocks of what make us human beings and why these stories echo through the millennia – our ancestors fears are the same as ours today. Some might claim that “Reservoir Dogs’ was better- they are incorrect– Pulp Fiction was WAY more entertaining.

Even though this was released and written in the 1990s, it had an older feel to it. First, everyone smoked indoors. I remember the 1990s, smoking was on the OUTS big time! Second, man did he like to use a certain racial slur. OOF. But then again, I’m not from Los Angeles. Maybe, it’s like Alabama there? I have no idea! I can say that the film did hold up as re-watched it today. It was still relevant and maybe that’s because it was difficult to pin down the time period; in fact, the music was mostly from the 1970s and the story time jumped- A LOT! The Miramax producer who worked on the show also jumps a lot, but mostly in the shower.

The story begins with two mobsters Vincent Vega and Jules Winnfield murdering two guys to get a magical briefcase back to their boss Marsellus Wallace, which feeds into the next storyline of Butch an aging fighter who’s about to rip off the mob, which feeds into Mia Wallace – Marsellus Wallace’s wife overdosing on heroin, which feeds into Butch on a quest to retrieve his great-grandfather’s watch, which feeds into a pretty graphic man on man scene of sexual violence and revenge, which feeds into Jules finding God, which feeds into cleaning brains out of a car, and finally ending in a diner being robbed by Tim Roth. Yes, the film requires attention. It’s not “Dazed and Confused”. You gotta pay attention.

I recently watched a show with Lisa Marie that time jumped – oh no, were their Germans around who got too close at a family reunion off camera?!

I still believe this is Quentin’s Opus and you cannot convince me otherwise because it connected to everyone and launched and re-launched A LOT of careers. Pulp Fiction’s legacy was that it empowered a 1990s writers to work in humor with their grittiness like in Halloween H20, which I reviewed here

https://unobtainium13.com/2016/10/29/halloween-h20-alt-title-they-stab-baby-boomers-dont-they/
: Pulp Fiction, (Written & Dir. Quentin Tarantino) Review by Case Wright

I recommend to going on Hulu and checking Pulp Fiction out again.

Raising Arizona (Dir Joel & Ethan Coen), Review by Case Wright


Happy Birthday, Nicolas Cage. If you’re an older Millennial or Young Gen X, you saw “Raising Arizona” about 100 times on Showtime and HBO because I believe that it was very inexpensive to license. The film was a hard left turn for the Coen Brothers who had major success with “Blood Simple” – a brutal thriller- that turned all women off to Fat Southern Murderers forever. The Coen thrillers tended to have comedic edge after Raising Arizona, but never just a comedy again- until The Big Lebowski. This film is also responsible for John Goodman. Prior to this film he was in mostly small parts, then after this picture- he became a household name in Roseanne.

Nicolas Cage is a made up name. He is Francis Coppola’s nephew and I can’t fault him for mayonnaising his name because my Italian ancestors did as well. However, I believe that he was trying to hide the Coppola name more than his heritage. Speaking of Italian heritage, try “Groking” “Italian American Jersey Girl” in grok. The lady who appears is beautiful, but doesn’t look like any of my Aunts. I feel that I should advocate for my people- We trend good looking and gave you Pizza Friday! Come on, show some love!

The film’s premise is that H.I. McDonnough (Nicolas Cage) is an ex con who is addicted to robbing the same convenience store again and again and again. This may seem strange, but in another life, I did criminal defense and I had a client who would steal the same jacket from the same store every year. Edwina “Ed” (Holly Hunter) is a cop who processes H.I. again and again. Each time, he flirts with her. His last time as a convict in front of her- her fiancé left her. H.I. realizes that he must go straight to get her love.

After his jail time, he returns as a free man to get his love- “Ed”. It works! They have a great life, but they want a child and yet she can’t conceive. The solution: they will kidnap a baby from the owner of Gallery Furniture! If you were from Texas, you would’ve laughed! They get the kid and are pursued by all sorts of people who want to claim the reward for the kidnapped baby.

This very intricate plot is just the first 30 minutes of the film. It is truly funny. I always felt for these character because good people should have LOTS OF KIDS- as many as possible! They shouldn’t have to pay taxes or anything. This film is special to me for another reason: it is when the Boomers were still young and filled with hope. Now, we are losing them and it hurts. This film is a glimpse of what they were like before the grey and how much they yearned for a good family on their own terms.