Sharks of the Corn, Review by Case Wright (Written/Dir. Tim Ritter)

Posted on October 3, 2025 by casewright

“Steven Kang’s Sharks of the Corn” is a Tim Ritter film. I watched this movie with Lisa and she said it was “Something.” I agree. It is hard to describe SOTC because it’s unclear what it was about because I don’t believe that Tim knew. The movie was NOT about sharks in the corn because most of the film took place in cars, living rooms, backyards, and a helicopter- Yes, a helicopter.

This film also forces us to discuss an uncomfortable topic – Generation X nudity. There is A LOT of Generation X nudity in this film. The amount of Gen X nudity that is acceptable in 2025 is… carry the one…integrate the function… ZERO! It is ZERO! They take their clothes off so much in this film that you’d think the corn had poison ivy on it! The people in this film have grandchildren. You know how awkward Thanksgiving will be now that nephew Tommy knows what Auntie Carol’s boobies look like?!! Enough already! Your days of cavorting naked in cornfields ended when the Counting Crows disappeared from the charts and kids who look like you called you Grandpa.

Aside from the nudity, the movie failed because it could not embrace its title. The movie should have been 80 minutes, but it had 40 subplots – all boring. If the movie stuck to its title, it would have been fine, but this movie had more detours than downtown Houston. “Sharks of the Corn” is the equivalent if “Snakes on a Plane” spent 80% of its runtime at H&R Block. Getting competent tax preparation is important, but it is not appropriate to film tax preparation, if your film is about sharks in a cornfield. At one point in the film, a mafia family was involved, but they were dressed like the costumes were from Party City and a kid was dressed like the Hamburgler. *Sidenote* I’m kinda hungry. I have no idea what that subplot was about and I don’t care.

The plot was more of a gooey subplot mess, but I think there was a shark god in the corn and I cannot do better than that description. There is a serial killer shark god prophet who converts the often nude Gen X cop to worship the shark god??? Sadly, this is typical of Tim Ritter – he can’t edit. His other films have equally long runtimes and I can’t believe that they needed that much time. NO WAY! Tim, I feel like you are the evil mentor for Alex Magana. I think Alex is a better filmmaker than you are and Alex is AWFUL, but not the worst- not anymore! Why do you rank lower than the man who gave the world the “Smiling Woman” series because his films are at least brief and on topic. I think the “hero” won in the end, but I can’t tell.

This film needs to be stopped!

Gamera Review: Gamera vs Gyaos (dir by Noriaki Yuasa)

Posted on October 3, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

1967’s Gamera vs Gyaos opens with reports of multiple volcanic eruptions in Japan.

One small village, in particular, has been effected. Tensions are already running high in the village because of a road construction project that some of the more traditional villagers oppose. Making things even more dramatic is that the volcano releases Gyaos, a giant bat that can shoot laser beams from its mouth and which has a habit of eating random people.

Fear not, though! Gamera, everyone’s favorite atomic turtle, is also woken up the volcanoes and the earthquakes! As the villagers watch, Gamera battles Gyaos and …. loses big time! Gyaos manages to injure Gamera’s leg so Gamera spins away and lands in the ocean so that he can heal up. Unfortunately, while Gamera is busy healing, Gyaos is still wrecking havoc.

Gamera vs Gyaos is entertaining as long as it focuses on Gamera and Gyaos. One of the more interesting things about the Gamera films is that even Gamera’s opponents were adorable. On the one hand, Gyaos is a totally destructive killer bat who eats numerous people. On the other hand, Gyaos is actually kind of cute.

And really, Gyaos isn’t trying to be mean. He’s just following his natural instincts. He was hibernating when the volcanic eruptions woke him up. Seeing as how he had been asleep for over a thousand years, it’s understandable that he woke up in a somewhat foul mood. One gets the feeling that if all the tanks and airplanes would stop shooting at him, Gyaos would be more than happy to fly off and find somewhere else to get some rest.

And, then there’s Gamera.

Gamera is a flying turtle who is powered by radioactivity and who, for some reason, has become the defender of humanity. Humanity, it should be noted, never seems to really appreciate everything that Gamera does for them. Gamera is also pretty adorable. Watching Gamera fight Gyaos is like watching two housecats pretend to fight each other. Sure, there’s a lot of yelling, hissing, and eye-poking but, deep-down, you get the feeling that the two of them truly love each other.

This was the third Gamera film. The second Gamera film was considered to be a box office disappointment so, for the third film, the studio insisted that it be kid-friendly. As a result, this film devotes a lot of time to Eiichi (Naoyuki Abe), an annoying little brat who keeps yelling for Gamera to come back and protect his village. Even when Gamera is underwater and trying to heal from his latest battle with Gyaos, he has to deal with little Eiichi yelling, “Hurry up and get better, Gamera!” Like, seriously, kid — SHUT UP! Gamera knows when he’ll be ready to fight again. By the end of the film, even the military is taking advice from Eiichi. No wonder Gamera has to fight all of their battles for them.

Anyway, I enjoyed this movie because of the monsters. Not only were their fight scenes entertaining but the monsters themselves were adorable. That said, Eiichi got on my last nerve. Hopefully, he’ll find a new hero and let Gamera have some peace.

Previous Gamera Reviews:

Artwork Of The Day: A House In A Dream

Posted on October 3, 2025 by Dazzling Erin

by Erin Nicole

And what a dream!

Guilty Pleasure #85: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (dir by John DeBello)

Posted on October 3, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1978 film, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, opens with a title card that would make James Nguyen proud. It informs us that people laughed when they first watched a film called The Birds. Then, years later, a flock of birds went mad and started attacking people. No one is laughing now.

As for the rest of the film, it opens with a housewife being menaced by a giant tomato and then it just keeps rolling on from there. Something is causing normal, everyday tomatoes to go on a rampage and no one can figure out what. The government is powerless. (The government’s competence is best exemplified by a scene where a helicopter crashes. Reportedly, the helicopter crash was not scripted but the film’s director decided to keep the scene anyway.) The president puts Mason Dixon (David Miller) in charge of defeating the tomatoes.

The film is one gag and one song after another. Mason has a group of eccentric people working for him, including a superstar gymnast and a man who is always dragging a parachute behind him. The streets are soon running red with tomato juice while clueless teenagers continue to listen to absolutely terrible song called Puberty Love….

In the past, I’ve struggled to define how a pleasure can be guilty but I think Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is actually one of the rare films that truly can live up to the label. It’s a pleasure because it’s just so silly and cheerfully stupid that it’s hard not to smile at it. It’s guilty because, premise aide, the film itself is never really as funny as you want it to be. Comedy — even when its something as silly as this film — is all about timing and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes never nails the timing of its gags. Instead, it plays out like a stoned daydream, amusing to talk about but a bit boring to actually witness.

That said, the film deserves some sort of award for its title and also for going on to inspire not only a few sequels but also a cartoon series. Producer Stephen Peace went on to have a successful career in California politics. Good for him.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

Music Video of the Day: Careful What You Wish For by Bad Omens (2018, directed by Orie McGinniss)

Posted on October 3, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

“Careful what you wish for” is a frequent horror theme. We all know that, when the monkey paw curls its finger, we might think it’s a positive thing but the opposite usually turned out to be true. Did you wish for someone in a box? Who wished for someone in a box?

This music video was one of the many Bad Omens videos directed by Orie McGinness, who has also done videos for Warbringer, Dayshell, Afterlife, Gideon, American Sin, and a host of others.

Enjoy!

October Positivity: Miles Between Us (dir by Andrew Hunt)

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

2017’s Miles Between Us is the story of a father and a daughter on a road trip.

Luke Duaer (Dariush Moslemi) is a hotshot Hollywood producer, the type who drives around Los Angeles in a nice car and who puts together the type of deals that lead to Hollywood blockbusters. Luke is really intent on getting film star Chace Creed (Josten Rositas) to agree to being in his next movie but he can’t even get Chace’s people to return his calls. Luke has a lot to deal with but that’s all going to have to be put on hold because his teenage daughter, Gabby (Anna Stranz) is about to start college on the other side of the country.

Luke and Gabby don’t have much of a relationship. Since divorcing her mother, Luke has barely been in Gabby’s life. In fact, Luke’s girlfriend is shocked to discover that Luke even has a daughter. The road trip is a chance for some father-daughter bonding. It starts out uneasily. Luke doesn’t know how to talk to his daughter and finds it strange that she’s enrolled at a small Christian college in North Carolina. When she asks him to stop at a church so she can worship on Sunday, Luke sits outside in the car while she does so. Gabby has a lot of understandable resentment towards Luke. He hasn’t been a great father. That’s not something that’s easy to forgive, as much as one might try and want to do so.

There’s a lot that I could relate to in this film. My Dad and I had our difficulties, especially after he divorced my mom. For years, we barely talked. He didn’t know how to communicate with me and I was so angry that I wasn’t going to open up and give him any help. And yet, though I may not have always realized it, I never stopped loving my father. No matter how many fights we had or how many words were exchanged in anger, I never stopped thinking that, someday, we would work it all out. I’m happy to say that we did. My Dad passed away last year. He was in hospice care and in a coma during the final few days of his life but I believe he could still hear me when I spoke to him and I pray he heard me when I said that I was proud to be his daughter. That said, I will always regret the years that we didn’t speak. That was wasted time that I will never get back.

As you can probably guess, Miles Between Us feels like a film that was specifically engineered to get an emotional response from me and it did. Inevitably, Luke and Gabby end up on the set of Chace Creed’s latest film. (Gabby’s a fan.) Chace asks Gabby for a date and, to the surprise of no one watching, he turns out to be a spoiled jerk. Luke fights for his daughter, as any good father should. It’s a bit melodramatic but I still smiled.

Miles Between Us is a film that got to me. Now, you can probably argue that it got to me because of my own circumstances but that’s true of most films and most people. Miles Between Us made me think about my Dad and how thanksful I am that we finally forgave each other.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 4.16 “Back to Oakland”

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Mark rejoins the police force and discovers that things have changed since he last wore the blue.

Episode 4.16 “Back to Oakland”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on February 3rd, 1988)

Jonathan and Mark return to Mark’s old hometown of Oakland, California. When Mark stops by his old precinct, he discovers that most of the police force is home with “blue flu,” protesting budget cuts. Mark volunteers to return to active duty for a few days. He’s paired up with his former partner, Frank Lawler (Kenneth Kimmins).

Mark, however, discovers that things have changed in his absence. Cops are viewed with suspicion by the people that they are supposed to be serving. And Frank is an unrepentant racist who expects Mark to have his back no matter what.

Jonathan, meanwhile, gets a job as a security guard at an all-black apartment complex. “You’re the first white man to ever work here,” he’s told by the landlady (Fran Bennett). The landlady’s son, Albert (Guy Killum), doesn’t trust white people and resists Jonathan’s attempts to reach out to him.

When Albert is caught shoplifting by Mark and Frank, Frank takes him into a back alley. Frank removes his handcuffs and dares Albert to take a swing at him. Mark steps out of the store just in time to see Frank shoot and kill Albert.

“He attacked me!” Frank says.

“I put cuffs on him,” Mark says.

In the end, Mark refuses to cover for Frank. Jonathan arranges for Albert’s younger brother (Kenny Ford, Jr.) to meet with Frank’s son (Mark Sussman). The episode ends with the two of them introducing each other.

This episode was Highway to Heaven at its most earnest and heartfelt. I imagine there are some that would complain that this episode attempts to “both sides” the issue of racism. Both Albert and Frank are portrayed as being obsessed their hatred of another race. That said, only one of the two men is portrayed as being in a position to kill the other and potentially get away with it. The scene of Mark, who has spent the entire series bragging about his time as an Oakland cop, taking a stand and telling the truth about what happened in the alley is surprisingly powerful. Mark does the right thing and he does it without hesitation. Is the ending of the episode a bit naive? Perhaps. But it’s so sincerely done that it’s hard not to appreciate the show’s intentions.

In other words, this episode was an example of what Highway to Heaven did well. It’s not subtle but it’s so heartfelt that the viewer can’t help but be moved.

Horror Game Review: 331 Oakmont Drive (Yunakitty, Choose Your Story)

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

Before I review this game, I have to give a shout-out to the community at Choose Your Story. I play a lot of online interactive fiction games and I spend time on a lot of different gaming sites. Some of them are good. Most of them are not. However, the games at Choose Your Story have been consistently good and enjoyable to play and read. The games follow the Choose Your Own Adventure format and it’s obvious that most of the writers put a good deal of effort into their stories. The community, as well, seems to offer up constructive criticism and really, the entire site feels like an antidote to all of the terrible things that you usually come across online. Whenever I play some overly long Twine game that was written by someone who clearly gave more thought to their background music than to actually coming up with a decent storyline, it makes me appreciate the work being done at Choose Your Story.

As for 331 Oakmont Drive, it’s an enjoyable horror storygame that is perfect for the Halloween season. You are a college student who, along with your friend Sophie, makes extra money cleaning other people’s houses. You have been hired to clean 331 Oakmont Drive but you have a bad feeling about the place as soon as you arrive. Do you stay in the house and do the job (you do need the money) or do you immediately try to leave? Either choice will take you on a different journey through 331 Oakmont Drive. This game has several endings. Some are happy, most are not. With many rooms to explore (and try to escape) and many macabre fates possibly waiting, this is one of those games that can be played over and over again. The game is entertaining, it’s well-written, and some thought was actually put into the story. It’s a game that will get you in the mood for the Halloween season.

Play 331 Oakmont Drive here!

So, I Watched Head Cheerleader Dead Cheerleader (2000, Dir. by Jeff Miller)

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Dazzling Erin

Heather Connelly (Tasha Biering) is the head cheerleader at her high school. The football team is struggling and some people think that it is because they have been jinxed by their terrible cheer squad. One night, while she is at home alone, Heather keeps getting calls from a stalker while someone kills the cheer coach and all of the other cheerleaders. The budget is low and the acting is terrible but the killer carries a sharp blade and every kill features a close-up of a body part getting cut off so if you’re into that, I guess this movie is for you.

There were two things that stood out about this movie. Blaming the cheer squad for your football team sucking is not cool but it is something that happens. I cheered in high school and we always took more blame for our team losing than the team itself did. It was weird because we really weren’t even a big sports school. We didn’t even have our own athletic field. Our football team had to go over to our rival high school to practice! But somehow, it was the cheerleaders who got all the dirty looks whenever the team went o-10.

Secondly, the movie opens with a voice mail to the director for a cheer mom threatening to sue him if “your movie Head Cheerleader Dead Cheerleader” led to any trouble for her daughter’s cheer squad. I have no doubt that the voice mail was real because I met a lot of crazy cheer moms when I was in high school. You know those stories you hear about mothers who get so invested in their daughter’s cheerleader career that they tribe to bribe the cheer coach or hire a hitman to take out their rival? We invented that in Texas! Taking a director to court is actually one of the less extreme things that I’ve heard about a cheer mom threatening to do. I think the mom was worrying over nothing, though. No one would mistake anyone in this movie for an actual cheerleader.

Moments #25: That Doll

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Dazzling Erin

by Erin Nicole

Our mom was a doll collector. Especially after she got divorced, she would spend her weekends hitting the estate sales and the thrift stores and searching for dolls. Eventually, she owned over a thousand dolls, many of which were very valuable.

I don’t know if this doll was valuable but I know it used to scare crap out of me whenever I would wake up to get a drink of water in the middle of the night and I would see it sitting in the kitchen. I think I was 13 when my mom found this doll and, even as she was buying it, I said, “Mom, that doll’s scary!”

No, my mom told me, this doll was beautiful.

Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder. All I know is that I always gave it the side eye whenever I was in the same room. I’m not superstitious. I know the doll wasn’t possessed but sometimes, it’s arms would be in a different position than they were the last time I had seen it and I would wonder why. Was the doll haunted? Or was my little sister just playing a trick on me?

A few years ago, I joined my sisters in going through mom’s doll collection. Mom not only kept the dolls in perfect shape but she also kept detailed records of where she had bought each doll, how old each doll was, and how much they were selling for on Ebay. When Lisa came across this doll, she announced that we were taking it home with us.

“No, we definitely are not,” I replied.

Lisa nodded and then said she wouldn’t bring the doll into our house. I made her promise. I should have noticed she had her hands behind her back when she did.

The next morning, I woke up and I walked into the kitchen and I screamed at the sight of that doll sitting at the kitchen table.

The doll is still in our house. It sits in one of the dining room chairs and it greets anyone who visits. As the years have passed, I’ve actually come to appreciate seeing the doll sitting there every day. It’s a link to my mom. Now, when I look at the doll, I think about how much my mom loved collecting and how happy she would be that her daughters have continued to take care of her collection. I collect cameras and baseball memorabilia. Lisa collects political campaign buttons and books. My mom collected haunted dolls. It’s a family tradition.

Previous Moments: