October Positivity: Dialtone (dir by Brian Lohr)

Posted on October 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A short film from 2009, Dialtone tells the story of Greg Pleasant (played by the film’s director, Brian Lohr.)

Greg is an attorney and apparently, a pretty successful one. He has a nice office in a nice building in downtown Seattle and his partners all respect him and trust him with the big clients. The big clients often ask Greg to do things that could be considered unethical and Greg says that he has no problem with it. When the mayor demands to know if Greg’s Christian faith is going to get in the way of being a cutthroat, amoral attorney, Greg tells a joke about about how, when he was in England, he saw a gravestone that said that a man had been “a lawyer and a Christian.” “They buried two people in that grave,” Greg’s tour guide said.

Four days after the death of his wife, workaholic Greg is back in the office and saying that he doesn’t need any time off. He’s back and ready to help the people of Seattle continue to exploit legal loop holes and get out of paying taxes. However, a mysterious man named Peter (Craig Munson) steps into the office and says that Greg needs to come with him, Peter explains that he has a phone that can be used to call people in the past. Greg is skeptical but, after getting an enigmatic phone call, Greg follows Peter to a warehouse. Peter gives Greg a list of everyone who will die in the next two days and tells Greg to call them. Greg isn’t sure what he’s supposed to say. Peter tells him that he’ll have to figure that out on his own.

As I said at the start of this review, Dialtone is a short film. It clocks in at a little over 45 minutes and the end credits run for several minutes so, in reality, Dialtone is the length of a typical sitcom. The short-length adds to the film’s dream-like feel. Since there’s not much time for Greg to have doubts or to argue with Peter, it seems like he manages to go from his office to the warehouse in the blink of an eye. (And perhaps he did….) As Greg calls the people who are going to die and encourages them to get both their material and spiritual affairs in order, he has flashback to the accident that cost his wife her life. The effect is entertainingly surreal. The film’s story is not always easy to follow. I assumed that Greg was having a hallucination for the majority of the film but the ending seemed to suggest that everything happened exactly the way that we saw it happen. The film’s message is clear enough, even if the story is sometimes muddled.

It’s a flawed film. The acting is frequently amateurish, which is definitely a recurring problem when it comes to faith-based films. But the weird imagery and the idea of a telephone that can call two days into the past were properly intriguing. Who would you call if you could call someone two days in the past? I’d probably call my neighbors and ask them to check if I left behind my favorite gold pen when I last visited.

Finally, as a sign of the times, I thought the film was being ironic by having Peter lead Greg to a landline phone. But then I realized that this film was made in 2009, back when it wasn’t quite as unusual for people to still have a landline as it is now. It’s amazing how quickly things change.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.20 “Summit”

Posted on October 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Jonathan and Mark do their bet to save the world from nuclear annihilation. Good for them!

Episode 2.20 “Summit”

(Dir by Dan Gordon, originally aired on March 5th, 1986)

Maria Malinoff (Eda Reiss Merlin), a Russian immigrant, is dying. Before she dies, she wants to see her son one last time.

The good news is that her son, Andrey Malinoff (Nehemiah Persoff), is currently in the United States. Even better, Mark and Jonathan have been assigned to let Andrey know that his mother wants to see him and to convince him to set aside his bitterness and see her.

The bad news is that Andrey is now the deputy premier of Russia and the reason why he’s in the United States is to attend a summit with the President (voiced by Frank Welker). Andrey is a communist who doesn’t believe in angels or American exceptionalism!

Mark and Jonathan are able to get jobs as waiters for the summit. (It helps that there is another angel working at Camp David.) They are even able to get Andrey away from his handlers long enough to take him to see his mother. Andrey is convinced that Jonathan and Mark are with the CIA and their whole “mission” is a trick to keep him from attending the summit. Mark dislikes Andrey because he’s a Russian and he think his country is superior to America. Jonathan dislikes Andrey because he’s abrasive and refuses, at first, to accept that Maria is his mother.

Eventually, though, Maria starts to talk about what Andrey was like as a child. Realizing that she is who she says she is, Andrey sits with his mother and talks to her until she passes away. Then, he returns to the summit a (slightly) changed man. He may still be a communist but at least now he knows the meaning of the word compassion. Mark takes a few minutes to ask Andrey and the President to work out their differences, explaining that everyone in the world is scared of nuclear war. The President, who is heard but not seen, is touched by Mark’s plea and agrees to have a long conversation about peace with Andrey.

Having apparently brought about world peace, Mark and Jonathan head off to their next assignment.

This episode — which was one of the few to be directed by neither Michael Landon nor Victor French — just felt silly, especially when compared to the strong episodes that came before it. Nehemiah Persoff does a lot of blustering in the role of Andrey but he never convinces us of the character’s emotions or his transformation. As an anti-communist, I enjoyed listening to Mark insult the Russians but otherwise, this well-meaning episode was a definite misfire.

Horror on TV: One Step Beyond 2.4 “Doomsday” (dir by John Newland)

Posted on October 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond deals with that classic horror theme, the curse of a dying witch. In this case, a woman burned at the stake in Scotland curses the family of her wealthy persecutor, saying that the eldest son will be destined to always die before his father.

I swear, witch’s curses are always so complicated!

The episode aired on October 13th, 1959.

In the words of Criswell, “Can you prove it didn’t happen?”

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: The Sinister Urge (dir by Edward D. Wood, Jr.)

Posted on October 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

1960’s The Sinister Urge opens with a shot of a blonde woman running down a highway while clad only her underwear.

As I watched this scene unfold, I was reminded of a chapter in Hollywood Rat Race, a non-fiction book about the sordidness of the film industry that was written by Edward D. Wood, Jr. The chapter takes the form of a letter to aspiring young actresses who come to Hollywood, convinced that they’ll become stars. In the chapter, Wood asks what the innocent young ingenue will do if a director tries to force her to film a scene in just her underwear. Will you give in, Wood asks, or will you stick true to your values? Wood seems to suggest that the actress should say no, no matter how much pressure the director puts on her. Of course, Wood himself was a director, as well as a writer. In fact, he directed The Sinister Urge.

The Sinister Urge is about the dark side of the film industry. Police Lt. Matt Carson (Kenne Duncan) and Sgt. Randy Stone (Duke Moore) are investigating a series of murders. The victims have all been women and they’ve all been killed in the same park. Carson and Stone suspect that the murders might be connected. Gee, guys, ya think so?

The murders are being committed by Dirk Williams (Dino Fantini), a knife-wielding teenager who works for the local pornographic filmmakers, Johnny (Carl Anthony) and Gloria (Jean Fontaine). Dirk has become addicted to viewing pornography and it’s driven him crazy. Johnny, who laments that he was once a serious filmmaker before he found himself reduced to directing and distributing “smut” to make money, is full of guilt and self-loathing. Gloria doesn’t care about anything other than making money through selling smutty pictures and movies. She doesn’t care that she’s helping to produce a product that is inspiring the sinister urge that drives Dirk to kill.

Can Dirk be stopped before he attacks innocent Mary Smith (Jeanne Willardson), who has fallen into the clutches of Gloria’s smut syndicate? (That’s a great band name, by the way.) And how will Dirk react when he learns that both Johnny and Gloria are thinking about sacrificing him for the greater good of their evil organization?

The Sinister Urge is an over-the-top melodrama that is clearly an Ed Wood production. (Posters for Plan 9 From Outer Space and Bride of the Monster appear in Johnny’s office.) Some of the actors deliver their lines stiffly. Some of them delvier their lines with just a little bit too much emotion. The hard-boiled dialogue is full of cliches. The action sometimes comes to a complete stop so that the cops can discuss the threat of adult films. The film may be sordid but it’s all presented with such an earnest DIY style that it becomes rather fascinating to watch. At one point, Wood spliced in footage from a totally different film because why not? Wood had the footage. The Sinister Urge was running short. Why not pad out the length with something totally unrelated? That never surrender spirit is why Ed Wood remains a beloved figure 100 years after he was born in Poughkeepsie.

Sadly enough, this was Wood’s final “mainstream” film. After this film, he could only find work writing adult novels and writing and directing the same type of movies that are criticized in The Sinister Urge. (One has to wonder if The Sinister Urge was Wood’s attempt to satirize the moral panic of the time.) Sadly, Wood sank into alcoholism and died 17 years after this film was released. He was 54 years old. His films, however, live on.

Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak On A Plane (2007, directed by Scott Thomas)

Posted on October 10, 2024 by Jedadiah Leland

Bad news! There’s a zombie outbreak on a 747 jumbo jet! That’s what you get for trying to transport a scientist who has been infected with a “super warrior” virus on a commercial flight. It’s fine as long as she’s in her container but it just takes a little turbulence for her to get free and start infecting everyone.

This movie was advertised as being the first movie about a zombie outbreak on a plane and yes, it came out the same time as Snakes on a Plane. Flight of the Living Dead makes good use of its limited setting. Not only do the handful of uninfected passengers have to maneuver around the undead in a tight space but they have to figure out how to get off the plane before it either runs out of fuel or gets blown up by the fighter jets that are following it. The plane setting also reveals a new way to dispose of zombies, though it also means disposing of many of the living as well.

Flight of the Living Dead was better than I expected. The characters are all cardboard but the action is fast and furious and that it was all happening the air did bring a new element of suspense to the familiar story. Zombie movies are dime a dozen but this one’s not bad. The next time I have to fly anywhere, I’m going to make sure I’m seated as far to the back of the plane as possible.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.13 “Mom Returns”

Posted on October 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Jason and Scott’s mom returns to America and quickly decides to leave again.

Episode 1.13 “Mom Returns”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on January 17th, 1999)

With their Dad stuck in San Diego on his birthday, Jason and Scott decide to throw a wild party at the house. The music is loud. The house is crowded. Murray jumps off the second floor balcony. The police show up and start dancing. Oddly enough, Stads shows up and there’s absolutely no awkwardness between her and Jason, despite the fact that they just broke up.

Everything is going great until Michele (Carol Huston) shows up.

Michele is Jason and Scott’s mother, the one who sent them to Malibu so that she could take a job in Saudi Arabia. She’s returned home and Jason and Scott panic that she’s going to order them to return to New York. When they overhear Michele talking to their Dad about getting married again, Jason and Scott are convinced that their parents are getting back together.

Of course, this being a Peter Engel-produced show, it’s all a big misunderstanding. Michele is getting married again but she’s marrying a guy that she met in Saudi Arabia. In fact, she’s planning on spending another year in Saudi Arabia. I guess she likes not being allowed to drive and having to cover herself from head to toe while living in the middle of the desert. Still, when Jason and Scott start wearing suits and behaving like perfect angels in an attempt to convince their mom to let them stay in Malibu, their Dad decides to play a trick on them and basically allows them to believe that he and Michele are getting back together….

Wow, what a fucking asshole.

Seriously, it’s rare that I curse but this is one of the worst things that I’ve ever seen a television father do. I’m a child of divorce. I know exactly how it feels to fool yourself into thinking that your parents are going to get back together. That’s not something joke about.

Their father also jokes about sending his sons to Saudi Arabia. He even gives them some keffiyehs to wear. The audience laughs. Today, of course, Scott and Jason would just look like a typical Ivy Leaguer.

Anyway, after this episode, I understand why Michele got a divorce and couldn’t wait to get away from the kids. She probably could have escaped to a less misogynistic country but I guess she was desperate.

While all of this was going on, Sam and Stads competed to see who could raise the most money for charity. Stads really got over Sam kissing her boyfriend quickly! Both of them recruit Tracy to help them raise money. Tracy walks around the beach in a bikini and says, “Who wants to give me money?” It works.

This was a dumb episode.

Horror Film Review: Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II (dir by Takao Okaware)

Posted on October 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Mechagodzilla is back!

Well, not quite. While 1993’s Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II does indeed feature a giant robotic Godzilla who gets into a battle with the real Godzilla, this Mechagodzilla is not the same Mechagodzilla who appeared in the previous Mechagodzilla film. (Maybe I just like typing Mechagodzilla, who knows?) Instead, this Mechagodzilla is a robot that was built by G-Force, the military branch of United Nations Godzilla Countermeasures Center. (Booo! Thanks for wasting our tax money, UN!) This Mechagodzilla has been built out of parts left over from Mechaghidorah and it exists not to conquer the world but to protect it.

Wow, that was an exhausting paragraph to write. On the one hand, I appreciate the fact that the Heisei era Godzilla films actually made an attempt to maintain a consistent continuity. On the other hand, it’s difficult to keep track of all of these different monsters and robots. I have to admit that trying to follow the plots of these movies always tends to make my ADD go crazy. Really, the important thing is that Godzilla fights a giant robot version of himself and Rodan helps out!

That’s right. Everyone’s favorite Pterodactyl shows up in this film. (The previous film in the franchise reunited Godzilla with Mothra so it just makes sense that Rodan would eventually return.) Godzilla gets upset when he discovers that Rodan has a Baby Godzilla egg in her nest and, after an absolutely adorable mini-Godzilla hatches from the egg, the two of them fight over him. However, Godzilla and Rodan later team up to battle Mechagodzilla. The monsters may not like each other but they get even more annoyed with robot versions of themselves. One thing that I really appreciate about the Godzilla films of the 80s and 90s is that they show just how exhausting it is for these monsters to constantly have to fight each other. Godzilla and Rodan are both exhausted towards the end of this movie. At one point, it appears that Rodan makes the ultimate sacrifice to save Godzilla and I have to admit that I got surprisingly emotional at that point. But then I remembered that Rodan was going to show up in a later movie and immediately start fighting Godzilla again. Seriously, monsters are like cats when it comes to showing each other appreciation.

Anyway, the main attraction here is Baby Godzilla, who is absolutely adorable in a way that horrific-looking Son of Godzilla never was. It helps that Baby actually looks like Godzilla as opposed to looking like the bastard monster child of Godzilla’s mailman. There’s an awe inspiring scene where Baby Godzilla runs up to Godzilla and we see that Baby Godzilla is barely the size of grown Godzilla’s big toe. It’s both a cute scene and a reminder that Godzilla is beyond huge.

This was an entertaining entry in the Godzilla franchise. The plot is less important than the battles and the cuteness of Baby Godzilla. Try all you want, G-Force. WE LOVE GODZILLA!

Previous Godzilla Reviews:

Horror Scenes I Love: Eros Explains Solarnite From Edward D. Wood’s Plan 9 From Outer Space

Posted on October 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In this scene from the classic Ed Wood film, Plan 9 From Outer Space, Eros the Alien (Dudley Manlove) explains that he and his comrades had no choice but to invade Earth and raise the dead because mankind’s scientists have created …. SOLARNITE!

What is Solarnite?

Don’t worry, Eros will explain it to us and it will all make total sense….

Horror Film Review: Day The World Ended (dir by Roger Corman)

Posted on October 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“You finally did it! You blew it up! …. Goddamn you to Hell!”

That’s right. Just as how the original Planet of the Apes showed us what the world would look like centuries after a nuclear war, 1957’s Day The World Ended shows us what things would be like in the weeks afterwards. And guess what? It wouldn’t be a lot of fun.

Day The World Ended starts with the bombs dropping and mushroom clouds forming in all of their fearsome glory. (Oppenheimer may have hated his greatest achievement but aesthetically, the atomic bomb is still an impressive invention.) Jim Maddison (Paul Birch) and his daughter, Louise (Lori Nelson), manage to survive by camping out in a steel bunker that Maddison built especially for the moment. As a former Navy commander, Maddison understood that the world was on the verge of nuclear war and he also understood that only those with discipline would survive. He’s filled with bomb shelter with supplies and he’s told Louise that only the two of them can use the shelter. Anyone else is out of luck.

Unfortunately, people keep showing up at the shelter and asking to come in. And while Maddison is prepared to leave them outside with the fallout and the mutants that have started to roam the desert, Louise just can’t stand the thought of leaving anyone to die. Reluctantly, Maddison starts to allow people to join him and his daughter. Some of them, like geologist Rick (Richard Denning), are a good addition to the group, Rick is actually an expert in uranium mining and a potential husband for Louise. (Louise has a fiancé but he’s missing. She keeps his picture by her bed. The picture, of course, is actually a photo of director Roger Corman.) Unfortunately, not everyone is as likable and well-intentioned as Rick. Lowlife hood Tony (Mike Connors) and his girlfriend, Ruby (Adele Jergens) show up and continue to act as if they’ve got the police after them even though the police were probably atomized with the rest of civilization. And finally, there’s a man (Jonathan Haze) who is transforming into a mutant and who develops a strange mental connection to Louise.

No one said the end of the world would be easy!

Day The World Ended was Corman’s fourth film as a director and it was also his first film in the horror genre. (It’s actually a mix of science fiction and horror but whatever.) The film was enough of a box office success that it inspired Corman to do more films in the genre. Seen today, it’s obviously an early directorial effort. It lacks the humor that distinguished Corman’s later films. In fact, the film is actually a little bit boring. Watching a film like this really drives home just how important Vincent Price and his energy were to Corman’s later films. This film doesn’t have an actor like Vincent Price or Boris Karloff or even Dick Miller, someone who could energize a film just through the power of their own eccentricities. Instead, Mike Connors, Paul Birch, and Richard Denning all give dull performances as the survivors. This is a historically important film because, without its box office success, Corman probably would have stuck with doing B-westerns and gangster films. Filmgoers should be happy that audiences in the 50s were drawn in by the film’s title and their own paranoia about nuclear war. It’s a film that one appreciates as a piece of history, even if it doesn’t quite stand up to the test of time.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Edward D. Wood Edition

Posted on October 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, on what would have been his 100th birthday, we take time to honor Edward D. Wood, Jr.

4 Shots From From 4 Ed Wood Films