Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

It’s exam time!

Episode 1.20 “The Telethon”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on February 12th, 1976)

Gabe tells Julie about the time he went to visit “my uncle, Mo Kotter, in the hospital.”  Uncle Mo was in an oxygen tent.  Gabe accidentally stepped on his air hose.  Uh-oh!

At school, Gabe shows up for class and immediately makes the Sweathogs groan by announcing that it’s time to take a test.  He passes out the test papers and Freddie announces that this is a test that he can pass.  Yay!  I’ve always felt that Freddie was actually one of the smarter Sweathogs and I’m glad to see that he is finally making an effort to excel academically and …. oh wait.  Freddie is just pointing out that the test papers are blank because the school’s Xerox machine has broken down.

Yes, the school desperately needs money.  But how can the Sweathogs raise money for their much-needed supplies?  Barbarino volunteers to sell kisses.  Freddie suggests stealing hubcaps.  Horshack starts shouting, “Let’s put on a show!”  Gabe argues that no television station — not even public access channel 52.4 — would agree to air a Sweathog telethon.  However, Mr. Woodman stops by the classroom to gloat about how, due to budget cuts, the remedial Sweathog class is going to have to be cut, unless the Sweathogs can come up with $700.  Realizing the seriousness of the situation, Gabe and the Sweathogs invite the president of channel 52.4 to the school so that he can see the Sweathogs perform Me and My Shadow.  Needless to say, the Sweathogs get their telethon!  Will they be able to raise $700?

(Seriously, no one had an extra $700 lying around?)

The telethon is broadcast live from Gabe’s classroom and even Mr. Woodman shows up in a tux.  “I sing!” he explains.  Once the show goes live, Gabe (of all people) freezes up on camera so Julie has to grab the microphone from him and explain the purpose of the telethon.  Julie proceeds to sing a deliberately off-key version of Let Me Entertain You.  Juan Epstein sings a version of “Day-O” while playing the bongo drums.  Freddie sings a song and turns out to be just as off-key as Julie.  Gabe and Horshack do a somewhat disturbing routine where Gabe pretends to be a ventriloquist and Horshack pretends to be the dummy.  Barbarino sings his “Ba-Ba-Barbarino song.”  And I have to admit that I actually laughed at all this.  I’ve seen a lot of “let’s put on a show” episodes from the 70s and this is one of the first where the point is that no one is as talented as they originally claimed.  It’s a fun little twist.

As the telethon comes to an end, Gabe realizes that they still need to raise $22 to make their goal.  (Can’t Gabe just donate $22 from his next paycheck?)  Anyway, Gabe’s mom calls and offers to donate $22 if Gabe sings some silly song from his childhood.  Gabe sings something about apple pie and — yay!  The Sweathogs are saved.  Woodman sings My Way as the telethon comes to a close.

Back the apartment, Gabe asks Julie if he’s ever told her about his Uncle Ben.  “Did he make rice?” Julie replies. Gabe explains that Ben didn’t make rice but that he was schizophrenic.

Anyway, the important thing is that the Sweathogs raised $700 without having to contribute any money themselves.  New York City really is a generous city.

Episode 1.21 “Kotter Makes Good”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on February 19th, 1976)

Gabe asks Julie if he’s ever told her about the time that his cousin Brucie didn’t want to go to school because all the student made fun of him.  Aunt Elsie told Brucie that he had to go to school because, “You’re 37 and you’re the principal.”

At school, the Sweathogs are worried about exam week.  Horshack makes out his last will and testament because his father is going to kill him when he sees his grades.  (Yikes!)  Epstein has a note from “Epstein’s mother,” requesting that he be excused from exams because he’ll be attending the Ecumenical Council in Rome.  Gabe attempts to encourage the Sweathogs to just study and take the tests but he is interrupted by Mr. Woodman, who drops by to announce that Gabe never took his senior exams.  Horshack says that Gabe should just take the upcoming exams with the Sweathogs.

Back at the apartment, Gabe searches for his old school records while Julie tells him that he needs to study.  Suddenly, the Sweathogs show up to help Gabe study.  Epstein brings the blackboard from school.  (“It just fell off the wall,” Epstein says.)  Horshack shows up dressed like Mr. Kotter and asking Julie if she wants to hear a joke about his uncle.  Though it takes a while, especially with Gabe deciding to show the Sweathogs what its like to teach them (“Hi there,” Gabe repeatedly says to Freddie), Gabe eventually realizes how much his students care about him and he decides to study with them.

At the school, a chagrined and twitching Woodman tells Gabe that he made a mistake and Gabe actually did take his senior exams while a student at Buchanan High.  Gabe, however, takes the makeup exams anyways.  He passes every exam, though he does come very close to failing his Algebra test.  The Sweathogs celebrate by singing a version of the Mickey Mouse Club song.

Back at the apartment, Gabe tells Julie about his Aunt Selma, who was a lousy driver and parked her car in the kitchen.  This is followed by a second joke, in which Gabe tells Julie about two brothers who always went fishing.  The jokes probably would have been funnier if Gabe had been able to tell them without Julie interrupting him every few minutes.  This was one of those episodes were you could really see that there was some truth behind the stories of Marcia Strassman hating her time on the show.

This was one of those episodes that worked primarily due to the chemistry between the members of the cast.  Horshack’s Kotter impersonation was surprisingly effective and John Sylvester White’s unhinged performance as Woodman was, once again, a highlight of the episode.

Next week: Barbarino becomes a priest and the first season ends!