Monthly Archives: July 2022

Film Review: American Siege (dir by Edward Drake)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

For a few months, I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not I wanted to review American Siege.

On the one hand, I try to review every film that I see, regardless of how bad (or good) it might be.  I love movies.  I love talking about them.  I love writing about them.  I love sharing my opinions about them and hearing and reading the opinions of others.  That goes for all films, even really bad ones like American Siege.

On the other hand, American Siege is also one of the films that Bruce Willis made shortly before announcing his retirement from acting.  Since his retirement was announced, there have been a lot of stories that have suggested that Bruce’s condition led to him accepting a lot of roles that he normally would not have even considered and that Willis was not always fully aware of what was happening on the sets of the films in which he appeared.  Regardless of how much of that is true or not, it’s a heart-breaking story and it makes it difficult to watch Willis in a film like American Siege.

In American Siege, Willis plays a sheriff in a small Georgia town.  When a group of loud rednecks take a local pharmacist hostage, Willis and his deputies drive out to the man’s house.  However, Willis is ordered to stand down by the richest man in town, who is played by Timothy V. Murphy.  It turns out that the pharmacist has evidence that links Murphy to an unsolved crime.  The rednecks might be loud and stupid and self-destructive but it turns out that they’re not actually the worst people in town.

American Siege is 90 minutes of people shouting at each other and pointing guns out of windows.  There’s not much of a story to be found and even the unsolved mystery is a bit of a dud.  As was typical of his last few films, Bruce Willis is only on screen for a few minutes and he delivers his lines in a heart-breakingly flat monotone.  The rest of the cast is actually okay, even if they do go bit a overboard with the fake Southern accents.  The rednecks are convincingly redneck-y and Murphy is convincingly condescending as the rich man who has never had to face any consequences for his actions.  But the main reason anyone is going to watch this film is because of Bruce Willis and, sadly, there’s none of the swagger that made Willis in a superstar.

So, why am I reviewing American Siege?  Mostly it’s so I can recommend that, if you are really determined to watch one Bruce Willis’s later films, you skip American Siege and watch Gasoline Alley.  Gasoline Alley was made by the same director and it also features Bruce Willis but it’s a hundred times better than American Siege and it actually gives Willis a decent role to go out on.

Of course, my ultimate recommendation, as far as all this is concerned, is that you go and rewatch the first three Die Hards.  They’re not just for Christmas!

Novel Review: The Plot To Kill The President by Jack Pearl

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

President Harmon Stevens is a liberal who is looking to reign in the influence of the Military-Industrial complex and the CIA.  So, of course, it’s decided that the President must be taken care of.

Fortunately for the conspirators, back when Stevens was in the army, he took part in the court martial of a soldier named Paul.  Paul was given a dishonorable discharge on account of killing enemy POWs.  The reader is told that Stevens shouted, “You have the Mark of Cain on you!,” which …. okay.  I guess it’s possible that someone outside of 17th century Massachusetts spoke like that.  Now, Paul spends all of his time feeling bitter and watching cartoons.  He’s a Bugs Bunny fan because he believes that Bugs is a sociopath, just like him.  (Personally, I think Bugs is just a force of chaos.  Sociopath is a bit extreme.)  One day, Paul’s cartoon watching is interrupted by the opportunity to take part in a plan to take out Stevens.  However, Paul soon discovers that he’s being set up to be a patsy, much like Lee Harvey Oswald.  Will Paul risk his life to reveal the truth?

The Plot To Kill The President is one of the many paperbacks that I found in my aunt’s collection of old books.  It was originally published in 1972 and it’s very much a book that was inspired by the Kennedy assassination and the conspiracy theories surrounding it.  Paul is a disillusioned American.  It’s not just that he has a personal grudge against the President.  It’s that he no longer believes in the promise of America and, as a result, he has no problem with the idea of betraying it.  It’s not until an awkwardly written date with a recently naturalized citizen that Paul starts to realize that America can be saved.  (How awkward is the encounter?  At one point, Paul’s date recites the pledge of allegiance in the middle of a restaurant.)

Anyway, it’s a fairly silly and overheated book.  It’s written in the first person, so we’re not only subjected to Paul as a character but we’re also forced to spend way too much time in his head.  Paul is one of those people who has a lot of ideas but none of them are particularly interesting.  Before I started writing this review, I looked up the book online and I came across someone speculating that Jack Pearl was a pen name for Jack Ruby!  Actually, Jack Pearl was a journalist who wrote several paperback thrillers.  He also wrote a non-fiction book about the JFK assassination, in which he supported the idea that Oswald was a part of a larger conspiracy.  That’s not surprising.  The Plot To Kill The President was clearly written by a true believer, even if it’s never as convincing as it tries to be.

Probably the most interesting thing about the novel is that the copy that I read had a cigarette advertisement inserted into the middle of it.  It was for Kent cigarettes and featured attractive people laughing while holding cigarettes.  They all had perfectly white teeth, without a hint of nicotine staining.  I’ve noticed that quite a few 70s paperbacks came with cigarette ads.  I always wonder how effective they were.  In 1972, was anyone reading The Plot To Kill The President and thinking to themselves, “Damn, I need a cigarette?”

Film Review: Ambulance (dir by Michael Bay)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Ambulance is the ultimate Michael Bay movie.

Obviously, whether or not that’s a good thing for you personally will depend on how you feel about Michael Bay.  As a director, Bay specializes in kinetic thrill rides, the type of films where the camera never stops moving, the characters are attractive but shallow, and every plot development is an excuse for another action sequence.  Michael Bay is hardly the first, only, or last director to put action and spectacle above characterization and a coherent storyline.  However, he might very well be the most shameless about it.  Michael Bay’s approach has not made him a favorite of the critics but it has usually proved successful with audiences.  Personally, I’ve smirked at a lot of scenes in a lot of Michael Bay films.  (I still laugh whenever I remember the slow motion shot of the children playing in front of the faded JFK campaign poster in Armageddon.)  But, in this age of self-important filmmakers, it’s hard not to appreciate a director who just wants to have a good time.

And, make no doubt about it, Ambulance is definitely a good time.  The film’s plot is simple.  Jake Gyllenhaal and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II rob a bank.  When the robbery goes wrong, they hijack an ambulance.  In the back of the ambulance is an EMT played by Eliza Gonzalez, who is desperately trying to keep a wounded cop (Jackson White) from dying.  Gyllenhaal and Abdul-Mateen also want to make sure that the cop doesn’t die because they know that, if they’re captured, the penalty for being a cop killer is considerably worse than the penalty for being a bad bank robber.  With the entire LAPD and the FBI in pursuit, the two men drive the ambulance through Los Angeles, trying to find a way to escape.  Essentially, Michael Bay said, “You know how everyone enjoys a chase scene?  What if we made the chase scene last for 136 minutes?”  And wisely, some people gave him money to do just that.

(Actually, that’s just the way that I like to imagine it.  Ambulance is actually a remake of a Danish film and Michael Bay originally passed on the project.  But, as they put it in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, print the legend.)

Jake Gyllenhaal may be top-billed but the star of Ambulance is definitely Michael Bay.  In many ways, there’s not much about Bay’s direction here that’s different from what he’s been doing since The Rock.  The camera moves a lot.  The images are sharp and clear.  The rapid-fire editing captures the chaos of the action scenes, occasionally at the cost of letting the audience know just who exactly is shooting at who.  But what sets apart Ambulance from other Bay films is that Michael Bay finally discovered his greatest collaborator, the drone.  Bay’s camera flies across Los Angeles, zooming over buildings and down streets and essentially making the viewer as much a part of the chase as Gyllenhaal and the cops pursuing him.  Ambulance moves with so much energy and confidence that it doesn’t matter that it’s a bit too long and that Gyllenhaal’s plan often doesn’t make much sense.  Ambulance is a thrill-ride, a film that rewards anyone who is willing to just go with it.  It’s an example of what Lucio Fulci called “pure cinema,” where the story itself is not as important as the way the director puts it all together.  I enjoyed it.  That ambulance barreling through the streets of Los Angeles was the 21st century equivalent of the speeding train that thrilled and terrified audiences during the silent era.

Unfortunately, Ambulance struggled a bit at the box office.  I’m a bit confused as to why, other than it wasn’t a part of a franchise or a sequel (like The Batman, Dr. Strange, and Top Gun: Maverick) and it didn’t have the mix of strong reviews and pop cultural cachet that led audiences to make Everything Everywhere All At Once into a hit.  Along with reviews that were more interested in criticizing Michael Bay in general as opposed to actually considering whether or not the film itslef worked, Ambulance was damaged by the fact that audiences were still getting used to the idea of leaving their homes for a night out.  I get the feeling that a lot of people looked at the commercials for Ambulance and said, “That’s something I can watch at home.”  (Admittedly, that’s what I did.)  It’s a shame that Michael Bay’s ultimate (and, I would say, best) film is also one of the few to be deemed a box office failure.  The film is currently on Peacock.  Try to watch it on the biggest screen you can find.

A Dangerous Place (1994, directed by Jerry P. Jacobs)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

In A Dangerous Place, a young karate student avenges his brother’s death and Corey Feldman impersonates Christian Slater.

Greg (Dean Cochran) and his younger brother, Ethan (Ted Jan Roberts), are both students of a sensei (Mako) who teaches that sparing an enemy is the best way to make a friend and that true martial artists do not compete in tournaments.  Greg wants more out of karate so he starts hanging out with The Scorpions, a gang led by Taylor (Corey Feldman).  The Scorpions all belong to a dojo owned by Gavin (Marshall R. Teague), who teaches that mercy is a weakness.  When the Scorpions aren’t beating up people at the beach, they’re “scavenging.”  They break into houses and businesses, steal what they can, and claim that homeowners insurance means that they’re actually doing everyone a favor.  When one robbery goes wrong, Greg tries to stop Taylor from killing a homeowner.  Taylor fights back and the end result is Greg falling over a railing and dying.  

The Scorpions leave Greg hanging in the high school gym.  The police think that Greg committed suicide but Ethan knows that his brother would never end his own life.  Ethan knows that the Scorpions are responsible.  He leaves his old dojo and joins Gavin’s dojo.  Ethan now has an in with the Scorpions but, if Gavin and Taylor are going to trust him enough to reveal the truth about what happened to Greg, Ethan is going to have to betray his old sensei and set up a match between the two dojos.  Ethan is going to have to abandon his own peaceful principles about become as bad as the people he is trying to take down.

For a low-budget Karate Kid rip-off, A Dangerous Place is not as bad as it sounds.  Some of the fight scenes are exciting, Mako is a decent stand-in for Pat Morita, and Marshall R. Teague does a passable Martin Kove impersonation as the leader of the bad dojo.  Corey Feldman imitating Christian Slater imitating Jack Nicholson does eventually get old but, since Feldman is playing the bad guy here and we’re not supposed to like him, it actually works to the film’s advantage.  Finally, Dick Van Patten, of all people, has a small role as the high school’s principal.  Mako, Feldman, Van Patten, and karate?  A Dangerous Place is dumb but entertaining.

AMV Of The Day: Miss Independent (Okami-San And Her Seven Companions)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s hoping that everyone had a good and safe 4th of July!  Let us celebrate with an AMV.

Anime: Okami-San And Her Seven Companions

Song: Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson

Creator: VermillionAMV (as always, please consider subscribing to this creator’s YouTube channel)

Past AMVs of the Day

Film Review: The Thing Called Love (dir by Peter Bogdanovich)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

First released in 1993 and directed by Peter Bogdanovich, The Thing Called Love takes place in Nashville, the city that, for many people, has come to define Americana.

Of course, for those who actually love movies, it’s difficult to watch any film about Nashville and the country music scene without being reminded of Robert Altman’s American epic, Nashville.  Much like Nashville, The Thing Called Love follows a group of wannabes, stars, writers, and performers.  However, whereas Robert Altman used the city and its residents as a way to paint an acidic portrait of a nation struggling to find its way in an uncertain new world, The Thing Called Love is far less ambitious.

The Thing Called Love centers around Miranda Presley (Samantha Mathis).  Miranda is from New York but she loves country music.  She comes to Nashville to try to sell her songs and become a star.  Instead, she ends up working as a waitress at the “legendary” Bluebird Cafe.  While she waits for her big break, she meets two other aspiring writer/performers, Linda Lu (Sandra Bullock) and Kyle Davidson (Dermot Mulroney).  Kyle falls in love with Miranda but Miranda falls in love with and marries James Wright (River Phoenix, brother of Joaquin).  Unfortunately, while James is talented, he’s also a bit of a jerk.

The Thing Called Love aired on TCM last year and I can still remember checking out the #TCMParty hashtag on twitter while the film was airing.  The majority of the comments were from people who loved TCM and who couldn’t understand why the channel was showing this rather forgettable movie.  The answer, of course, is that the film was directed by Peter Bogdanovich and Bogdanovich was one of the patron saints of TCM.  Along with being responsible for some genuinely good films (Targets, The Last Picture Show, Paper Moon, Saint Jack, Mask, The Cat’s Meow), Bogdanovich was also a very serious student of the history of film.  Up until he passed away in January, Bogdanovich was a familiar and welcome sight on TCM.  Listening to him talk about John Ford, Alfred Hitchcock, and especially Orson Welles was always a delight.

Unfortunately, as Bogdanovich himself often admitted, the majority of his later films failed to reach the heights of his earlier work and that’s certainly the case of The Thing Called Love.  It’s not so much that The Thing Called Love is bad as it’s just really forgettable.  There’s very little about the film that suggests that it was directed by cineaste who was responsible for The Last Picture Show.  Samantha Mathis is likable but a bit bland in the role of Miranda while River Phoenix plays James as being such a jerk that you really don’t care about whether or not he finds success.  From what I’ve read, Phoenix based his performance on watching Bob Dylan in the documentary Don’t Look Back.  Dylan is notably mercurial in that documentary but, it should be noted, that Dylan eventually abandoned that persona once he realized that it was a creative dead end.

To be honest, I think the film would have worked better if Samantha Mathis had switched roles with Sandra Bullock.  This was one of Bullock’s first films and she steals every scene in which she appears, giving an energetic and likable performance as someone who never allows herself a single moment of doubt or despair.  As opposed to the self-loathing Phoenix and the bland Mathis and Mulroney, Sandra Bullock represents the hope and optimism that Nashville is meant to symbolize.  In the end, her performance is the best thing about The Thing Called Love.