Great Moments In Comic Book History #14: Spider-Man No More!


 

One of the things that made Spider-man unique amongst the heroes of the Silver Age was that he often didn’t want to be a hero.  When he first got his powers, he wanted to make money.  It was the death of Uncle Ben that left him feeling obligated to fight crime.  But even then, he would have much rather have been Peter Parker.  Often times, when Spider-Man swinging across New York and fighting folks like Electro and the Sandman, he would have much rather have been at home, taking care of Aunt May or studying for a midterm or out on a date with Gwen Stacy or Mary Jane Watson.   Unlike the similarly angsty Hulk and The Thing, Spider-Man actually could had the option of abandoning his secret identity and trying to live a normal life if he wanted.  That Peter Parker not only felt obligated but often resentful made him a hero to which readers could relate.

He finally did try to walk away in 1967’s Amazing Spider-Man #50 and it led to a classic cover from John Romita.  This cover, with both Peter and Spider-Man turning their backs on each other, perfectly captures the inner conflict that Peter dealt with every issue.  When he was Peter, he didn’t want to be Spider-Man and when he was Spider-Man, he didn’t always want to be Peter Parker.  In Amazing Spider-Man #50, exhausted from being continually condemned by J. Jonah Jameson and worried about Aunt May’s health (as always), Peter tried to walk away.

It didn’t last, of course.  At first, Peter enjoyed not being Spider-Man but, as crime increased, Peter realized that he still owed it to the people of New York City and the spirit of Uncle Ben to fulfil his “great responsiblity.”  At the end of the issue, Peter retrieved his costume and once again took to the streets.  It wasn’t a minute too soon because this issue featured not only a classic cover.  It also featured the first appearance of the crime lord known as the Kingpin.  New York needed Spider-Man more than ever.

Previous Great Moments In Comic Book History:

  1. Winchester Before Winchester: Swamp Thing Vol. 2 #45 “Ghost Dance” 
  2. The Avengers Appear on David Letterman
  3. Crisis on Campus
  4. “Even in Death”
  5. The Debut of Man-Wolf in Amazing Spider-Man
  6. Spider-Man Meets The Monster Maker
  7. Conan The Barbarian Visits Times Square
  8. Dracula Joins The Marvel Universe
  9. The Death of Dr. Druid
  10. To All A Good Night
  11. Zombie!
  12. The First Appearance of Ghost Rider
  13. The First Appearance of Werewolf By Night
  14. Captain America Punches Hitler

The Columbus Film Critics Association Honors The Power of the Dog!


The Columbus Film Critics Association actually named The Power of the Dog the best film of 2021 on January 6th.  I apologize for the delay in sharing news of its victory.

Best Film
1. The Power of the Dog
2. Licorice Pizza
3. West Side Story
4. Belfast
5. Summer of Soul (…Or, When the Revolution Could Not Be Televised)
6. Pig
7. C’mon C’mon
8. The Tragedy of Macbeth
9. tick, tick…BOOM!
10. Dune

Best Director
Paul Thomas Anderson – Licorice Pizza
Kenneth Branagh – Belfast
Jane Campion – The Power of the Dog (WINNER)
Steven Spielberg – West Side Story (RUNNER UP)

Denis Villeneuve – Dune

Best Actor
Nicolas Cage – Pig (RUNNER UP)
Benedict Cumberbatch – The Power of the Dog (WINNER)

Andrew Garfield – tick, tick…BOOM!
Will Smith – King Richard
Denzel Washington – The Tragedy of Macbeth

Best Actress
Jessica Chastain – The Eyes of Tammy Faye
Olivia Colman – The Lost Daughter (RUNNER UP)
Alana Haim – Licorice Pizza (WINNER)
Taylour Paige – Zola
Tessa Thompson – Passing

Best Supporting Actor
Colman Domingo – Zola
Ciarán Hinds – Belfast
Troy Kotsur – CODA (RUNNER UP)
Jesse Plemons – The Power of the Dog
Kodi Smit-McPhee – The Power of the Dog (WINNER)

Best Supporting Actress
Caitriona Balfe – Belfast
Jodie Comer – The Last Duel
Kirsten Dunst – The Power of the Dog (RUNNER UP)
Aunjanue Ellis – King Richard
Marlee Matlin – CODA
Ruth Negga – Passing (WINNER)

Best Ensemble
The French Dispatch
The Harder They Fall (RUNNER UP)
Licorice Pizza
The Power of the Dog (WINNER)
West Side Story

Actor of the Year (for an exemplary body of work)
Timothée Chalamet (Don’t Look Up, Dune, and The French Dispatch)
Bradley Cooper (Licorice Pizza and Nightmare Alley)
Benedict Cumberbatch (The Electrical Life of Louis Wain, The Mauritanian, The Power of the Dog, and Spider-Man: No Way Home) (WINNER)
Adam Driver (Annette, House of Gucci, and The Last Duel)
Andrew Garfield (The Eyes of Tammy Faye, Spider-Man: No Way Home, and tick, tick…BOOM!) (RUNNER UP)

Breakthrough Film Artist
Janicza Bravo – Zola (for directing and screenwriting)
Maggie Gyllenhaal – The Lost Daughter (for producing, directing, and screenwriting)
Alana Haim – Licorice Pizza (for acting) (WINNER)
Rebecca Hall – Passing (for producing, directing, and screenwriting)
Jude Hill – Belfast (for acting) (RUNNER UP)
Woody Norman – C’mon C’mon (for acting)

Best Cinematography
Bruno Delbonnel – The Tragedy of Macbeth (WINNER)
Andrew Droz Palermo – The Green Knight
Greig Fraser – Dune
Dan Lautsen – Nightmare Alley
Ari Wegner – The Power of the Dog (RUNNER UP)
Haris Zambarloukos – Belfast

Best Film Editing
Sarah Broshar and Michael Kahn – West Side Story (WINNER)
Andy Jurgensen – Licorice Pizza
Peter Sciberras – The Power of the Dog (RUNNER UP)
Joe Walker – Dune
Andrew Weisblum – The French Dispatch

Best Adapted Screenplay
Jane Campion – The Power of the Dog (WINNER)
Joel Coen – The Tragedy of Macbeth
Maggie Gyllenhaal – The Lost Daughter
Siân Heder – CODA
Tony Kushner – West Side Story (RUNNER UP)
Jon Spaihts, Denis Villeneuve, and Eric Roth – Dune

Best Original Screenplay
Paul Thomas Anderson – Licorice Pizza (WINNER)
Zach Baylin – King Richard
Kenneth Branagh – Belfast (RUNNER UP)
Julia Ducournau – Titane
Mike Mills – C’mon C’mon
Michael Sarnoski – Pig

Best Score
Alexandre Desplat – The French Dispatch
Jonny Greenwood – The Power of the Dog (WINNER)
Jonny Greenwood – Spencer 
(RUNNER UP)
Nathan Johnson – Nightmare Alley
Hans Zimmer – Dune

Best Documentary
Attica
Flee (RUNNER UP)
The Rescue
The Sparks Brothers
Summer of Soul (…Or, When the Revolution Could Not Be Televised) (WINNER)
The Velvet Underground

Best Foreign Language Film
Drive My Car (WINNER)
Flee 
(RUNNER UP)
A Hero
Titane
The Worst Person in the World

Best Animated Film
Encanto
Flee (RUNNER UP)
Luca
The Mitchells vs. the Machines (WINNER)
Raya and the Last Dragon

Best Overlooked Film
Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar
CODA
Cyrano
Nine Days (RUNNER UP)
Riders of Justice (WINNER)
Together Together

The Chicago Indie Critics Honor CODA and The Power of the Dog!


The Chicago Indie Critics have announced their picks for the best of 2021! And here they are:

BEST INDEPENDENT FILM (budgets under $20 million)
CODA
NINE DAYS
PIG
SPENCER
SUMMER OF SOUL 
 
BEST STUDIO FILM (budgets over $20 million)
THE HARDER THEY FALL
LICORICE PIZZA
THE POWER OF THE DOG
SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME
TICK, TICK… BOOM!
 
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
BENEDETTA
DRIVE MY CAR
FLEE
A HERO
PARALLEL MOTHERS
 
BEST DOCUMENTARY
FLEE
THE RESCUE
ROADRUNNER: A FILM ABOUT ANTHONY BOURDAIN
THE SPARKS BROTHERS
SUMMER OF SOUL 
 
BEST ANIMATED FILM
ENCANTO
FLEE
LUCA
THE MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES
RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON
 
BEST DIRECTOR
Paul Thomas Anderson – LICORICE PIZZA
Kenneth Branagh – BELFAST
Jane Campion – THE POWER OF THE DOG
Pablo Larrain – SPENCER
Edson Oda – NINE DAYS
 
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
THE FRENCH DISPATCH – Wes Anderson
A HERO – Asghar Farhadi
LICORICE PIZZA – Paul Thomas Anderson
NINE DAYS – Edson Oda
PIG – Michael Sarnoski
 
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
CODA – Sian Heder
DRIVE MY CAR – Ryusuke Hamaguchi, Takamasa Oe
PASSING – Rebecca Hall
THE POWER OF THE DOG – Jane Campion
THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH – Joel Coen
 
BEST ACTOR
Nicolas Cage – PIG
Benedict Cumberbatch – THE POWER OF THE DOG
Andrew Garfield – TICK, TICK… BOOM!
Will Smith – KING RICHARD
Denzel Washington – THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH
 
BEST ACTRESS
Jessica Chastain – THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE
Olivia Colman – THE LOST DAUGHTER
Alana Haim – LICORICE PIZZA
Emilia Jones – CODA
Kristen Stewart – SPENCER
Tessa Thompson – PASSING
 
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Ben Affleck – THE LAST DUEL
Colman Domingo – ZOLA
Mike Faist – WEST SIDE STORY
Troy Kotsur – CODA
Kodi Smit-McPhee – THE POWER OF THE DOG
Jeffrey Wright – THE FRENCH DISPATCH
 
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Ariana DeBose – WEST SIDE STORY
Kirsten Dunst – THE POWER OF THE DOG
Aunjanue Ellis – KING RICHARD
Marlee Matlin – CODA
Ruth Negga – PASSING
 
BEST ENSEMBLE CAST
BELFAST
CODA
THE FRENCH DISPATCH
THE HARDER THEY FALL
THE POWER OF THE DOG
SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME
 
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
BELFAST
DUNE
THE GREEN KNIGHT
THE POWER OF THE DOG
THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH
 
BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN
DUNE
THE LAST DUEL
NIGHTMARE ALLEY
THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH
WEST SIDE STORY
 
BEST COSTUME DESIGN
CRUELLA
DUNE
THE GREEN KNIGHT
NIGHTMARE ALLEY
WEST SIDE STORY
 
BEST MAKEUP
CRUELLA
DUNE
THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE
HOUSE OF GUCCI
NIGHTMARE ALLEY

BEST EDITING
DUNE
THE HARDER THEY FALL
NINE DAYS
SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME
WEST SIDE STORY
 
BEST MUSICAL SCORE
DUNE
ENCANTO
THE HARDER THEY FALL
THE POWER OF THE DOG
SPENCER
 
BEST ORIGINAL SONG
“Be Alive” – KING RICHARD
“Guns Go Bang” – THE HARDER THEY FALL
“Just Look Up” – DON’T LOOK UP
“No Time to Die” – NO TIME TO DIE
“So May We Start” – ANNETTE
 
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
DUNE
FREE GUY
THE MATRIX RESURRECTIONS
SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS
SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME
 
BEST STUNTS
BLACK WIDOW
DUNE
THE MATRIX RESURRECTIONS
NO TIME TO DIE
SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS
SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME

SPECIAL AWARDS

TRAILBLAZER AWARD 
Honors the work of an artist who truly pushes the boundaries of the medium in terms of form and content
Paul Thomas Anderson, filmmaker 
Rebecca Hall, filmmaker
Ryusuke Hamaguchi, filmmaker
Sian Heder, filmmaker
Lin-Manuel Miranda, filmmaker

IMPACT AWARD
Given to a person whose work has had a positive impact on society
Rebecca Fons, Director of Programming – Gene Siskel Film Center
Rebecca Hall, filmmaker
Ryan Oestreich, General Manager – Music Box Theatre
Steven Spielberg, filmmaker
Jill Wheeler, Director of Publicity and Promotions – Allied Global Marketing

The Fighting Vigilantes (1947, directed by Ray Taylor)


A town in the old west has problem.  Any wagon that comes into town carrying food or cooking supplies is robbed by a group of bandits hired by Price Taylor (George Chesebro), who wants to make sure that he doesn’t have any competition when it comes to selling food at inflated prices to the townspeople.  Because of Taylor’s price gouging, the ranchers are now in danger of starving but the law refuses to do anything to help because they’ve all been paid off by Taylor as well.  Another group of masked people, known as The Fighting Vigilantes, are now robbing Taylor’s wagons.  Things are getting violent and someone is going to get hurt.

Fortunately, Cheyenne Davis (Lash LaRue) and his sidekick, Fuzzy Q. Jones (Al St. John), ride into town.  Everyone thinks that Cheyenne is an outlaw because he wears all black and he carries a whip.  What they don’t know is that Cheyenne and Fuzzy are actually undercover U.S. marshals.  It doesn’t take long for Cheyenne to fall for Abby (Jennifer Holt), the daughter of a local rancher who is involved with the Vigilantes.  When Abby’s father is arrested, Abby blames Cheyenne and says that Taylor will never be defeated.  Fuzzy says that this proves that it’s best to stay away from women.  Can Cheyenne Davis and his trust bullwhip prove them both wrong?

This was one of the many B-western programmers in which Lash LaRue played the role of Cheyenne Davis.  Lash was unique amongst B-western heroes, in that he always dressed in black and he used a whip instead of a gun.  Unfortunately, he wasn’t much of an actor and all of his films were low-budget, rush jobs but he did look pretty cool with a whip.  The Fighting Vigilantes is typical of Lash’s later films but it does deserve some credit for having its heroes go up against not just a gang of outlaws but instead an entirely corrupt town.  Taylor has taken over every institution in the town, leaving the people living under them no choice but to turn vigilante.  The villains are so evil that they even shoot people in the back.  It’s impossible not to enjoy Cheyenne demonstrating, via his whip, the foolishness of trying to draw a gun on Lash LaRue.

The movie ends as almost all of Lash LaRue’s adventures did, with everyone laughing as Cheyenne uses his bullwhip to nearly kill Fuzzy Jones before the two of them ride off to find more injustices that can be fixed with the crack of a whip.  As for the real-life Lash LaRue, his movies eventually went out-of-style and, like a lot of the B-western stars, he moved over to television.  He struggled with alcoholism and was arrested for vagrancy in 1966.  However, he eventually turned his life around and, along with appearing in a few low-budget movies in the 70s, he spent his remaining years ministering to alcoholics in Florida, showing that the real-life Lash LaRue could do just as much good in the real world as he did in the movies.

Book Review: Alright, Alright, Alright: The Oral History Of Richard Linklater’s Dazed and Confused by Melissa Maerz


There are a lot of different ways that I could praise this 2020 book about the 1993 high school film, Dazed and Confused.

I could point out that it is the definitive history about the making of one of my favorite films, told by the people who were there.

I could point out that it’s a book that captures a very important time in the development of modern independent film.

I could point out that anyone who is a fan of Richard Linklater should read this book to discover the struggles that Linklater went through while directing his second feature film.  Linklater learned a lot during the filming.  He’s also an endlessly fascinating interview subject, a filmmaker who has figured out how to balance the needs of art with the needs of commerce.

If you’re a Texan, you definitely have to read this book because Dazed and Confused is a part of our culture.

I would also point out that this book is about more than just went on while the movie was being shot.  It’s also about how the movie effected and continued to effect the lives of the people who were in it and who have seen it..  Some cast members, like Matthew McConaughey, Ben Affleck, Parker Posey, and Renee Zellweger (even though she’s only visible for a second and isn’t actually credited in the film), became big stars.  Others, like Anthony Rapp and Adam Goldberg and Nick Katt, have emerged as strong characer actors, the type of people who you love to see in any movie.  Others had a bit less success and most of them do not hold back on discussing why stardom did or did not come calling.

Featuring interviews with just about everyone who was involved in the film, Alright Alright Alright begins with Richard Linklater finding arthouse success with Slacker and then moving on to Dazed and Confused.  As many people in the book point out, Linklater’s first few films helped to define both Austin and the entire Texas film scene.  At a time when most Texas films were about cowboys and oilman, Linklater revealed that there was a lot more going on.  And yet, when Linklater went on to find his own quirky brand of mainstream success, many of his former colleagues in Austin felt left behind.  Linklater acknowledges their feelings while also making no apologies for not spending the rest of his life remaking Slacker.

The full production of Dazed and Confused, from casting to the film’s release, is covered.  We learn about some of the people who tried out for the film but, ultimately, weren’t cast.  (Linklater seems to feel almost guilty for not casting Vince Vaughn in a role.)  We learn how Matthew McConaughey almost randomly found his way into the cast and then subsequently transformed Wooderson from being a minor character into being the heart of the film.  We follow Wiley Wiggins as he comes of age on the film set.  Just about everyone is interviewed and no one holds back.  It was a frequently wild set, with a young cast who, to a certain extent, recreated high school while the film was being shot.  I was sad to learn that Michelle Burke did not get along with Parker Posey and Joey Lauren Adams.  I was happier to read that Jason London was apparently as cool off-camera as he was when he was playing Randall “Pink” Floyd.  And, considering the way that his character just vanished from the film, I have to say that I wasn’t surprised to discover that no one seemed to get along with Shawn Andrews.

Shawn Andrews, of course, played Kevin Pickford.  Pickford was originally meant to be an almost shamanistic character, though the concept of the character started to change once filming actually started.  (“There’s a reason we called him Prickford,” Rory Cochrane says, at one point.)  Two chapters are devoted to everyone in the cast taking about how much they disliked working with Shawn Andrews.  No one really seems to hold back, which I have to admit almost made me feel sorry for the guy.  Like many young actors, he went a bit too far trying to be method.  Nick Katt compared him to Jared Leto at his worst.  The otherwise easy-going Jason London talks about nearly getting into a fistfight with him.  Linklater attempts to be diplomatic while discussing what happened but even he admits that Andrews didn’t gel with his vision for the film.  Pickford was originally meant to be a major character.  He was meant to be on the football field with Randall and Dawson.  He was also originally meant to be the one heading out to get Aerosmith tickets.  However, with more and more actors basically refusing to deal with the actor who was playing him, Pickford was replaced in scene after scene by Matthew McConaughey’s Wooderson.  (Andrews, apparently, felt that Pickford should die in a dramatic car accident towards the end of the film.)  Perhaps not surprisingly, Andrews was one of the few actors to decline to be interviewed for the book.

The final few chapters of the book are a bit sad, as some members of the cast discuss their careers after Dazed and Confused.  We read about a cast reunion that occurred in Austin that turned a bit awkward when the actors who had become big stars reunited with the actors who hadn’t.  Jason London, who dealt with a great personal tragedy shortly after the filming of Dazed and Confused, talks about the experience with a wistfulness sadness that is actually a bit heart-breaking.  One gets the feeling that London’s mixed feeling weren’t so much about not becoming a Matthew McConaughey or Ben Affleck-style star as much as they were an acknowledgement that the past is the past.  The unstated theme running through the book is that, as good a time as everyone had while making Dazed and Confused, everyone’s older now and that moment can never be recaptured.

(Kind of like high school!)

The book does end with some speculation about a Dazed and Confused sequel.  Linklater seems to have given it some thought, though he also says that it will never happen.  Personally, I think that’s the right decision.  Dazed and Confused is perfect as it is.  Alright, Alright, Alright is the book that helps us to understand why that is.

I Watched King’s Faith (2013, dir. by Nicholas DiBella)


Brendan King (Crawford Wilson) is eighteen and trying to change his life.  He’s just gotten out of juvie and is living with his eighteenth set of foster parents, Mike and Vanessa Stubbs (James McDaniel and Lynn Whitfield).  Brendan wants to leave his former gang life behind but it’s hard.  Vanessa doesn’t trust Brendan and neither does Mike’s best friend, Detective Dwyer (Christopher John Martin).

Brendan wants to help out his old neighborhood by buying the building where his best friend died and turning it into a rec center.  But after Brendan makes the news for saving the life of Natalie (Kayla Compton) after she crashes his car, the members of his former gang track Mike down.  They know that Mike knows the location of a hidden stash of drugs and they start trying to draw Mike back into his old life.

King’s Faith was made with the best intentions and it had a good message about forgiveness and second chances so I wanted to like it but Crawford Wilson, while easy on the eyes, was never believable as a former drug dealer and addict.  There was nothing tough about him and he seemed out of place whenever he was interacting with the members of his former gang.  Since I couldn’t believe that he was ever in a gang, there wasn’t any suspense about whether or not he would return to them.  Kayla Compton was more convincing as the troubled Natalie and her story was actually more interesting than Brendan’s.  The movie probably would have been better if it had been about her.

Scene That I Love: Lee Van Cleef Meets Klaus Kinski in For A Few Dollars More


In 1925, on this very date, Lee Van Cleef was born in Somervillve, New Jersey.  In honor of what would have been Lee Van Cleef’s 97th birthday, here he is with Klaus Kinski and Clint Eastwood in For A Few Dollars More.

There’s not a lot of dialogue in this scene but when you had actors like Eastwood, Kinski, and Lee Van Cleef, you didn’t need a lot of dialogue to make an impression.

Music Video of the Day: Boogie Shoes by K.C. and the Sunshine Band (1978, dir by ????)


I’m sure you’ll remember this song from the soundtrack of any film that’s set during the 70s.  I’ll always associate with John C. Reilly showing Don Cheadle a card trick in Boogie Nights.  I guess that’s appropriate since it’s Boogie Shoes and Boogie Nights.  “Don’t you worry about the evil spirits?” Cheadle asks Reilly shortly before Reilly runs off to help Dirk Diggler launch his musical career.

Apparently, this band was started in a record store.  The man who would eventually be known as KC worked at the store and I guess the band was made up with either his customers or his co-workers.  Either way, they came together to form The Sunshine Band and they spread happiness and cheer all throughout the cocaine-heavy 70s.  They’re still doing it, playing the nostalgia circuit.  Good for them.  Disco is forever.

(That said, the best band to form in a record store remains the Empire Records band.  SUGAR HIGH!)

This is another one of those videos that was originally a performance for a television show.  In this case, the show was American Bandstand. 

Dance and enjoy!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television 1/2/22 — 1/8/22


As the first week of 2022 comes to a close …. I have yet to watch the fourth season of Cobra Kai!  What’s up with that?  Oh well, I’ll watch it next week.  This week, I was busy.  Next week, I’ll ignore everything else I need to do and watch TV.  How is that not a good plan?

Anyway, here’s what I watched this week:

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

After being gone for a month due to pledge programming, Allo Allo returned to the PBS line-up on January 2nd.  Having escaped from the hospital, Rene returned to the café and dealt with Michelle’s latest scheme to get the airmen out of France.  It involved hiding them in a hollow bomb that would be dropped over England.  The only problem is the Resistance needed a place to hide the bombs.  Michelle, of course, volunteered Rene’s cafe.

While I continue to laugh at Crabtree’s mangled French, I also find myself looking forward to the every scene involving LeClerc and his attempts to disguise himself.  “It is I, LeClerc.”

The Amazing Race 33 (Wendsenday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the premiere of The Amazing Race here!

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

Big goofy Clayton is the new Bachelor.  Big goofy Jesse Palmer is the new host.  Honestly, we need more of a break between installments of this franchise.  Anyway, Monday’s episode featured Clayton meeting the girls and, of course, sending one of them home on the first night because she wasn’t there for the right reasons (plus, she was like sloppy drunk).  It was such an obvious set up.

Dexter: New Blood (Sunday Night, Showtime)

I reviewed the latest episode of Dexter: New Blood here!

Joe Millionaire (Thursday Night, Fox)

On this dating reality show, a group of women are competing to end up with one of two men.  One of the men is a millionaire.  The other isn’t!  The twist is that the women don’t know which is which.  Unfortunately, the viewers do know and that takes a lot of the fun out of the show.  It would be a lot more enjoyable if we were guessing along with the women.  Instead, we know that the farmer is actually very wealthy and the dude who looks like a European prince is actually a construction worker.

(To be honest, this show seems more like a parody of a reality show than an actual show.)

The first episode of this new edition of Joe Millionaire aired on Thursday.  One of the women was sent home because she followed one of the men on social media.  The show handled this development as if it was the most serious thing ever.  I guess sending one random person home on the first day is going to be a new dating show ritual.  Anyway, Joe Millionaire was pretty stupid.  The men were boring.  The women were boring.  The host is also the butler at the mansion where everyone is staying.  There was a lot of nonsense over whether or not everyone was there for the right reason.  (What is the right reason when it comes to stuff like this?)  Who cares?

I’ll probably watch it, though.  I just won’t talk about it on twitter.  It’ll be our little secret, my dear readers.  Sound good?

The Love Boat (Sunday Evening, MeTV)

The Love Boat and its enthusiastic crew completed their cruise to Alaska.  Everyone learned an important lesson about being too competitive and the importance of following one’s heart.  Yay!  Needless to say, it was a pretty silly show but sometimes, it’s good to watch something silly.

And Love …. won’t hurt anymore….

The Office (All The Time, Comedy Central)

I watched a few episodes from the fourth season on Thursday.  Michael hanging out in New York with Ryan was good.  The dinner party remains a classic.  I had to change the channel once we got to the one where Jim was playing golf with the client and, for some stupid reason, he brought along Kevin and Andy.  It never felt right whenever the show featured Jim actually working.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

After being off the air for the month of December due to pledge programming, Open All Hours has returned to the PBS lineup.  On Sunday’s episode, Arkwright longed for Nurse Gladys Emmanuel while Granville continued to stew in resentment.  I don’t blame Granville.  It couldn’t have been easy being a 40 year-old stockboy.  I always find myself wondering what Granville did to get sold into indentured servitude in the first place.

Shipping Wars (Tuesday Morning, A&E)

A&E is now showing the old, original episodes of Shipping Wars in the morning and new episodes at night.  I have yet to watch any of the new episodes, mostly because the old episodes got so annoying after Roy died that I can’t imagine that the new episodes could be any better.

Anyway, on Tuesday, I mostly had the show on for background noise.  I did notice that one episode featured a bunch of people pointing guns at Roy.  It was presented as being a very dramatic situation but if Roy was really going to be shot, I kind of doubt that Shipping Wars film crew would be allowed to just hang out while it was happening.  Eventually, it all turned out to be an elaborate prank.

Another episode featured Jen basically destroying a butter sculpture that she had been hired to deliver.  Apparently, this was no prank.  On the original Shipping Wars, Jen ruined nearly every delivery she was supposed to make.  It’s kind of odd that people kept hiring her.

The Twilight Zone (Sunday, SyFy)

SyFy completed its Twilight Zone marathon on Sunday.  I caught two of the marathon’s final episodes, both of which were from the season when the show had an hour running time instead of 30-minute.  The hour-long Twilight Zones tend to be uneven.  The first episode I watched was about a ship that came across as possibly haunted submarine.  It would have been an enjoyably creepy 30-minute episode but, at an hour, there was just too much obvious padding.  The second episode featured a young Dennis Hopper as a Neo-Nazi loser who finds success after a mysterious benefactor takes him under his wing.  The identity of the benefactor was obvious from the start (it rhymed with Jitler) but Hopper’s odd and unhinged performance made this episode memorable.

U.S. Figure Skating Championships 2022 (Saturday afternoon, NBC)

USA!  USA!  USA!