A few days ago, the trailer for Spider-Man: No Way Home supposedly leaked online. I say “supposedly” because I would honestly be shocked at the idea of anything in the world of entertainment happening without Disney somehow knowing about it beforehand.
Anyway, I held off on sharing the leaked trailer because I have integrity or something. Or maybe I was just scared I would get sued or the site would be taken down. I don’t know. I held off for some reason. But now that the trailer has been officially released …. well, here it is:
Apparently, Peter’s life has gotten difficult now that the world knows that he’s Spider-Man. Since Tony Stark is dead and Robert Downey, Jr. would probably demand too much money to play Tony’s hitherto unknown twin brother, Peter decides to get a new bearded mentor but, in typical Peter fashion, he screws up Dr. Strange’s spell by talking too much and soon, universes are literally colliding.
If I sound like I’m being snarky, that’s just the way I always sound. I love these movies in all of their occasionally silly glory and I’m really looking forward to Spider-Man: No Way Home. I really enjoyed the previous two movies and this trailer is certainly more entertaining than the one that dropped for TheEternals. I actually think that Tom Holland and Benedict Cumberbatch have the potential to be a pretty good team. Plus, I know a lot of our readers are probably really excited about Alfred Molina showing up there at the end. Will the other Spider-Men make an appearance? We’ll find out soon.
Usually, the only time we talk about commercials here on the Shattered Lens is after the Super Bowl or if we’re sharing a trailer. However, there has recently been one commercial that is so loathsome, so tone deaf, and so goddamn annoying that it has managed to unite just about everyone I know, on both the Left and the Right, in mutual disdain.
Here, for all to see, is the Amazon Climate Pledge commercial:
The commercial is 90 seconds of an international group of children and teenagers telling CEOs that they need to do more to protect the environment. Some of them appear to be wandering through a Mad Max-style desert. Some are trapped in a Werner Herzog movie. The “I can grow my own food” person appears to be in a Ridley Scott film. For some reason, the Italian kid who is worried about his imaginary grandchildren is hanging out in the middle of a landfill. I’m sure that’s doing wonders for his state of mind. Italy’s a beautiful country when you don’t spend all of your time hanging out at a landfill.
Why is this commercial the worst?
First off, it’s apparently targeted at CEOs, ordering them to sign a pledge. The pledge doesn’t really mean anything but if you sign it, you’ll be spared from having to talk to the “Try sustainable farming” girl so it’s probably worth the trouble. Here’s the problem — I’M NOT A CEO! If the commercial is meant for CEOs, why is it airing during Big Brother? Are a bunch of polluting CEOs watching Big Brother in their spare time? Why am I seeing it on Hulu? Do CEOs put their polluting agenda on hold so they can get together to binge Kingof the Hill? The answer, of course, is that it’s not really targeted at CEOs. It’s targeted at people who are dumb enough to think that it’s targeted to CEOs, people who will presumably say, “Amazon is leading the way to get businesses to clean up their act!”
This bring me to my second point, which is that the commercial was made by AMAZON! This is the company that’s run by the man who wants to fly in a rocket for fun. I’m usually not one to complain about eccentric billionaires having their fun but if you’re going to start your own space program, that means you don’t get to yell at me about the environment.
But that’s not all. Could they have found more annoying spokespeople than the kids in this commercial? I’m torn on which one of them I hate the most. The landfill boy fills me with rage whenever he starts taking about his non-existent grandchildren but the sustainable farming girl reminds me of every annoying student council candidate who I knew in high school. But really, I think the worst of the bunch are the two sisters who apparently live in a flooded town. When the younger of the two yells, “Yeah!” at me after her sister tells me to do something …. I’M NOT A CEO! YOU’RE YELLING AT THE WRONG PERSON! And why the Hell are you wandering around in the middle of a flood anyways? We should all do what we can to help and protect the environment but these entitled little brats make me want to turn up the air conditioning. It doesn’t help that the commercial ends with all of them staring straight at the camera (i.e. me) with a look on their face like I just gave away their favorite pet.
Finally, wind farms are a terrible eyesore. They may be good for the environment but they look like something from a dystopian sci-fi movie. By all means, build them but don’t stick them in every commercial and expect everyone to go, “Oh wow, windmills!”
Commercials like this annoy me because they’re so extremely self-congratulatory and counter-productive. They inspire many thoughts but little of them have to do with saving the planet.
The 24th video played on MTV on August 1st, 1981 was a song that, up until yesterday, I had never heard. TooLate was performed by Shoes, a band that, again up until yesterday, I had never heard of.
According to what information I could find, Shoes was founded by John and Jeff Murphy and Gary Klebe. They were friends in high school and, after graduating, they decided they wanted to start a band. Unfortunately, none of them knew how to play a musical instrument so they each picked an instrument, spent a year learning how play it, and then reunited to form Shoes. They recorded their first album in Jeff Murphy’s living room and apparently it did well enough, being sold through local record stores and by order from Bomp! magazine, that they were eventually signed by Elektra Records.
Formed in the 70s, Shoes is still performing to this date.