From 1980’s The Fog, directed by the great John Carpenter:
Daily Archives: October 30, 2020
Horror Novel Review: Blind Date by R.L. Stine
First published way back in 1986, Blind Date represents a significant moment in YA horror literature. This is the first “horror” novel to be written by R.L. Stine!
Blind Date tells the story of Kerry, who is a teenager who has a lot of problems. A year ago, he was in a really serious car accident. He doesn’t remember much about the accident but he does know that, as a result of the accident, his older brother is now in a mental institution and his father doesn’t talk to him much. Poor Kerry. One thing that I’ve noticed from reading all of these Stine and Christopher Pike books over the course of this month is that both of them always seemed to come up with plots that featured car accidents. I guess it makes sense. When you’re a teenager, you can’t wait to get your first car but you’re also aware that you’re eventually going to have your first accident.
Anyway, Kerry is kind of a loser but he is on the football team. Unfortunately, he apparently injured the school’s star quarterback during practice so now he has the entire team wanting to kill him. Perhaps the only good thing going on in Kerry’s life is that he’s been set up on a blind date with a mysterious girl named Amanda….
Except, when Kerry goes to Amanda’s house, he’s met by two bereaved parents who explain that Amanda’s dead! OH MY GOD, IS KERRY’S DATE A GHOST!? No, actually, it turns out Kerry’s date is actually named Mandy and apparently, Kerry misheard. Or something. Who knows? The important thing is that Kerry has a girlfriend who can comfort him whenever he gets his ass kicked by the football team, which is something that is definitely going to happen because Kerry goes to a school that’s ruled by mob justice..
Mandy is a little bit vague about her past, which should be a huge red flag but Kerry has something else to worry about. His brother, Donald, has escaped from the mental hospital! And apparently, he has a history of trying to kill Kerry! Can Kerry pursue a successful relationship, mend fences with the football team, and avoid getting killed by his brother? Or is the story going to end with Kerry getting beaten over the head with a stuffed moose?
(Yes, you read that right.)
Actually, the story ends with a twist that I’m pretty sure Stine came up with at the last minute. To be honest, the whole book kind of reads as if someone said to Stine, “We need two hundred pages and we don’t really care what’s on them.” The story goes from one strange development to another. It makes for a kind of weird story that doesn’t always make sense but it is compulsively readable.
And really, that’s the thing with the work of both Christopher Pike and R.L. Stine. You don’t reread these books because they’re particularly scary or even that well-written. You read them because they’re just so damn strange. It’s never enough to have just one twist. Instead, there has to be a dozen twists and if they don’t really seem to make sense or go together …. well, so what? That’s what life’s like when you’re a teenager, right? It may not always make sense. It may not always turn out the way you want. But it’s still something you miss once it’s gone.
Here’s The Trailer for Midnight Sky!
I’m about three days late in sharing this but I figured that everyone could use a little hope for the future, even when in the middle of a horrorthon!
Here’s the trailer for Midnight Sky. Now, on the one hand, the trailer makes the film look like it might be good. On the other hand, the film was directed by George Clooney and that’s always a big red flag. Clooney is a good actor and usually a terrible director. It’s an odd combination but it happens sometimes. (My personal theory is that Clooney is still insecure about the years that he spent being dismissed as just being a pretty frat boy type and, as a result, he always tries too hard whenever he directs a film. It’s like he’s still saying, “I can handle things! I’m smart!”) Hopefully, for this film, Clooney will give a bad performance but that will free him up to actually do a good job directing for once. We’ll find out soon.
Midnight Sky will be released on Netflix on December 23rd.
International Horror Film Review: Nothing Underneath (dir by Carlo Vanzina)
The 1985 Italian film, Nothing Underneath, is a giallo that’s achieved some notoriety based on the fact that it’s not a very easy film to find.
Seriously, I’ve spent years looking for this film. I had read enough good things about it to make me believe that it was a film that I, as an unapologetic fan of Italian horror, simply had to see. Unfortunately, as far as I can tell, it’s never gotten a proper DVD or Blu-ray release in the United States. It’s not so much that the film is controversial or even particularly graphic. Apparently, the main problem is that the film takes place in the world of high fashion and that means that there are several scenes that take place at fashion shows and most of those scenes feature songs that were very popular in 1985. Nothing Underneath has never gotten a proper video release because of all the music. It’s kind of unfortunate, really. There are so many good movies that are currently in limbo because of disputes over the rights to the music on the film’s soundtrack.
Anyway, the good news is that last night, I was able to find Nothing Underneath on YouTube! So, I finally got to watch it.
The bad news is that I watched it in Italian with no subtitles.
Now, that’s not quite as big of an issue as you might think. The thing with Italian horror films is that the story is often less important than how it’s told. The best Italian horror films are all about style and suspense and less about keeping track of who did what to whom. That’s certainly appears to be the case with Nothing Underneath. Film is a visual medium, after all.
The film is about a brother and a sister. Bob (Tom Schanley) is a park ranger who works at Yellowstone and is very happy with his simple and honest life. Jessica (Nicole Peering) is a fashion model who currently lives in Milan and who spends all of her days modeling lingerie and fighting off sleazy coke addicts. Bob and Jessica have such an extremely strong bond that, occasionally, Bob has visions of Jessica’s life in Milan. Whenever Jessica is in danger, Bob knows it. When Bob has a vision of someone stalking Jessica while carrying scissors and wearing black gloves, he rushes back to his ranger station and calls Italy to warn her. Unfortunately, he’s too late. By the time he convinces the surly desk clerk as Jessica’s apartment building to give Jessica the message, Jessica has disappeared.
Bob flies to Milan, determined to find his sister. He teams up with Commissioner Danesi (Donald Pleasence) to investigate Jessica’s disappearance. As soon as I saw Donald Pleasence, I automatically assumed that he would eventually turn out to be involved in Jessica’s disappearance but no. Pleasence actually plays a good guy in the film, one who appears to harbor no dark secrets. That was kind of a nice change of pace and, even though he was dubbed into Italian, I could tell that Pleasence gave a likable and sympathetic performance in this film.
It turns out that the black-gloved killer is murdering models all over Milan. Can Bob discover the killer’s identity? Will he be able to protect Barbara (Renee Simonsen), the killer’s latest target? And will he discover all of the sordid details about Jessica’s life in Milan?
Despite the language barrier, I enjoyed Nothing Underneath. It’s an old school giallo, right down to the whodunit mystery and the point-of-view shots of the black-gloved killer. Visually, the film is impressive. The opening sequence neatly contrasted the simplicity of Yellowstone with the decadence of Milan and the scenes of the killer stalking their latest victim were nicely done and very suspenseful. It was a bit hard to judge the actors (as usual, some of the dubbing was very poorly done) but Donald Pleasence was a delight as always and Tom Schanley come across as being very sincere and likable as the park ranger.
I’m glad to have seen Nothing Underneath. I hope it gets a decent video release at some point in the future.
Cleaning Out The DVR: The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations (dir by Seth Grossman)
I’m continuing my efforts to clean out my DVR. I just finished watching the 2009 film, The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations. I recorded this film off of Cinemax way back in June. To be honest, I was surprised when I came across it because I have absolutely no memory of having recorded it. I can only hope that it wasn’t recorded by a time traveler because, after seeing enough Butterfly Effects, you know that nothing good comes from time travel!
The Butterfly Effect 3 starts in medias res. Sam Reide (Chris Carmack) already knows how to jump back and forth in time and, even more importantly, he already knows all of the dangers. He knows that he can’t change the past. He can’t try to help people. He can’t do anything but stay hidden and observe because the least little alteration to the past could totally screw up the present. And, as we all know, studying the past is the present that we give to the future. (GAG! Seriously, though, I’ve been looking for a excuse to say that for like 10 years now.) So, the good thing here is that we don’t have to sit through a lot of pointless scenes of Sam learning what we already know.
Sam actually has a pretty good scam going. He goes back into the past, observes a murder taking place, and then tells the police who committed the crime. He’s convinced that cops that he’s a psychic, which I guess cops would be more likely to believe than that he’s a time traveler. I don’t know. Whatever. We’ll go with it. Helping Sam out is his sister, Jenna (Rachel Miner). Jenna, we’re told, would be dead if not for the fact that Sam jumped into the past and saved her from a house fire. Of course, by doing that, he also accidentally killed off his parents! That’s how Sam learned not to mess with the past! As a result, despite his ability to time travel, Sam leads a pretty squalid existence. He drinks at the local bar. He hangs out in the worst sections of Detroit. He visits Jenna in her run-down apartment. And yet, he doesn’t use time travel to invest in Facebook or anything like that because he knows that it’ll change the present. That’s dedication!
Sam is also still mourning the murder of his girlfriend. (Has anything ever gone right in Sam’s life?) The man convicted of her murder is due to be executed but Sam has reason to believe that the man might be innocent. When Sam visits the man and lets him know that he’s going to go to the past to prove the man’s innocence, the man is not impressed. According to the man, Sam is the murderer!
Anyway, Sam starts jumping into the past to see what really happened but, of course, he can’t help himself and he ends up changing stuff. As a result, the presents gets messed up though not as dramatically as it did in some of the previous Butterfly Effect films. For instance, the slutty bartender is suddenly engaged. At one point, Sam wakes up to find out that he no longer has an apartment. It’s kind of weak. (To be honest, this film might have worked better if it had just been a time traveling mystery as opposed to a Butterfly Effect film.) The mystery, however, is intriguing and the film ends with a somewhat satisfying twist. As far as third entries in bad franchises are concerned, The Butterfly Effect 3 is actually better than you would probably expect it to be.
4 Shots For 4 John Carpenter Films: Halloween, The Fog, Christine, They Live
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.
This October, we’ve been using 4 Shots from 4 Films to pay tribute to some of our favorite horror filmmakers! Today, we honor the one and only John Carpenter!
4 Shots From 4 John Carpenter Films
Halloween (1977, dir by John Carpenter)
The Fog (1980, dir by John Carpenter)
Christine (1983, dir by John Carpenter)
They Live (1988, dir by John Carpenter)
Lifetime Film Review: Her Secret Family Killer (dir by Lisa France)
DNA Tests are all the rage right now.
Right now, everyone is taking them. Most of them seem to be hoping that they’ll find something really unexpected and cool in their background, like that they’re descended from Tecumseh or somebody. Personally, I’d love to discover that I am related to Rutherford B. Hayes, seeing as how he was the greatest president who ever lived. Of course, then you have other people who are just hoping that a DNA test will somehow make them seem less generic. “I’m 1.2% North African,” they’ll tell you, in-between posting Taylor Swift memes on twitter.
That said, everyone should approach DNA tests with caution. First off, if you’ve ever taken a DNA test, that means that the government now has access to your DNA and can probably use it to clone a race of super soldiers or something. That’s definitely one thing to consider. There’s also the possibility that being goaded into taking a DNA test could end whatever hope you have of ever being elected President. That’s another thing you have to consider. And finally, there’s the possibility that your DNA will turn up on the dead body of your best friend! Agck!
That’s exactly what happens to Sarah (Brooke Nevin) in Her Secret Family Killer. Her best friend Victoria (Carmen Moreno) gives her a DNA test for her birthday. Despite the protestations of Lyle (Devin Crittenden), who says that DNA tests are the first step towards dictatorship, Sarah gets the test done. Later, Victoria disappears. Sarah, while out on her morning run, just happens to stumble across Victoria’s dead body. The police test the DNA that was on Victoria’s body and just guess whose DNA shows up.
That’s right! Sarah’s!
But, surely, Sarah couldn’t be the murderer. It must just be someone who shares Sarah’s DNA, like a family member. So, which of Sarah’s relatives is the murderer? Or, could it be that there’s something else going on? I mean, seriously, when you’ve got DNA traveling all over the place, who knows who might be able to get their hands on it….
The best Lifetime films always strike at a secret fear that many people have but aren’t always willing to express. Her Secret Family Killer is all about the fear that one of your relatives might be murderers and you might not know it. I mean, it’s definitely possible. Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, the Grim Sleeper, the Baseline Killer, the D.C. snipers, they all had families and they all had relatives who were probably shocked when cousin Ted ended up in jail, accused with murdering people across the country. I mean, who knows what type of monsters you might have hiding in your family tree? People take DNA tests assuming that they’ll discover they’re related to someone great. What if you take your DNA test and discover that your great-uncle is the BTK Killer? It could happen.
Anyway, Her Secret Family Killer is another entertaining Lifetime thriller. Brooke Nevin has appeared in a few of these and she does a good job of embracing the melodrama, which is pretty much the key to making a good Lifetime film. If nothing else, watching the film will make you think twice before sending your DNA off to strangers and that’s probably a good thing.
Horror Film Review: The Silence (dir by John R. Leonetti)
“Don’t make a sound!”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re characters in the 2019 film, The Silence.”
“Uhmmm….okay.”
“And there’s monsters flying around the car.”
“Oh, is that what those are? I thought they were like fruit bats or something.”
“And they only hunt by sound.”
“Wait.”
“So, if you make a sound, they’ll swoop down and kill the entire family, even old grandma in the back seat.”
“Does any of this seem familiar?”
“Shhhh….”
“I swear this film feels familiar.”
“Oh please …. this is nothing like A Quiet Place.”
“Uhmm …. big flying creatures swarming on people who make noise and killing them. How is this not like A Quiet Place?”
“Well, The Silence not only features creatures that only hunt by sound but there’s also a subplot that comes out of nowhere, about a bunch of cultists who have cut out their tongues and who want to sacrifice the family to the monsters.”
“Oh.”
“Nothing like A Quiet Place.”
“So, basically, this just A Quiet Place meets a bad episode of Fear The Walking Dead.”
“Kind of but you know what? The Silence has got Stanley Tucci in the cast and he’s an Oscar nominee! Plus, Kiernan Shipka plays Tucci’s deaf daughter and she’s Sabrina. Also, Miranda Otto is in it and she-costars with Kiernan on that Sabrina show, so this entire movie really does feel like a particularly messed-up episode of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.”
“So, basically, this movie is a A Quiet Place meets Fear The Walking Dead meets that terrible Sabrina show.”
“My point is that this film has a really good cast and it’s also got the guts to totally waste them in uninteresting roles.”
“How does that take guts?”
“It also has the guts to kill off the adorable family dog because sometimes you just have to make difficult choices to say alive.”
“Especially when you’re living in a second-rate version of A Quiet Place, right?”
“LISTEN!”
“Uhmm …. should you have just yelled like that, considering all the monsters killing anyone who makes a sound?”
“Whoops.”
“Well, we’re screwed …. AAAAAAGH!”
And the rest is silence.
Horror On The Lens: Carnival of Souls (dir by Herk Harvey)
Well, we’re nearly done with October and, traditionally, this is when all of us in the Shattered Lens Bunker gather in front of the television in Arleigh’s penthouse suite, eat popcorn, drink diet coke, and gossip about whoever has the day off.
Of course, after we do that, I duck back into my office and I watch the classic 1962 film, Carnival of Souls!
Reportedly, David Lynch is a huge fan of Carnival of Souls and, when you watch the film, it’s easy to see why. The film follows a somewhat odd woman (played, in her one and only starring role, by Candace Hilligoss) who, after a car accident, is haunted by visions of ghostly figures. This dream-like film was independently produced and distributed. At the time, it didn’t get much attention but it has since been recognized as a classic and very influential horror film.
This was director Herk Harvey’s only feature film. Before and after making this film, he specialized in making educational and industrial shorts (some of which we’ve watched this month), the type of films that encouraged students not to cheat on tests and employees not to take their jobs for granted. Harvey also appears in this film, playing “The Man” who haunts Hilligoss as she travels across the country.
Enjoy Carnival of Souls!
And remember, don’t stop for any hitchhikers!
And now, a holiday message from the TSL’s cat
Hi, humans!
Doc Bowman here with a very special holiday message!
Tomorrow is Halloween, which my owners — the flame-haired one and the nice one — says is the greatest time of the year! Usually, it’s the time when kids get candy, horror movies are on TV, and my owners get to play dress up or, if it’s anything like last year, barely get dressed at all. Thing may be a little bit different this year, though. There may not be as many people out because all the humans are supposed to be on lockdown and anyone who tries to have any sort of fun gets scolded faster than I get scolded for sharpening my claws on the living room drapes. There might not be as many trick or treaters this year but that doesn’t mean that people won[t be out and about.
That brings me to my point.
Halloween is a wonderful time but it’s also a time when stupid people do bad things. I’m a black cat so both the flame-haired and the nice-one say that I’m not going to be allowed go outside at all tomorrow. They say it doesn’t matter how much I beg, I’m staying inside. I know they’re doing the right thing but I’m still going to beg and knock things off of tables and counters because I’m a cat and that’s what I do. And they’re going to hopefully give me a lot of treats and pet me to keep me happy, even though they’ll probably have to lock me in the flame-haired one’s room to keep me from running for the front door every time they open it for a trick or treater. That’s just the way thing go at the cat’s house.
Tomorrow night, please make sure that all your pets are safely inside. It may sound like a silly concern but not everyone out there is as nice and wonderful as my owners and the people who read this site!
Have a safe and happy Halloween everyone!
Through the Shattered Lens 