There! The first title card, or image on here I’ve had to black box. Thanks, Sal V. Miers! Seriously, I could use the title cards from Debbie Does Dallas (1978), Deep Throat (1972), and even Water Power (1977) just fine. Early 80s ones often look like the title cards for an ABC Movie of the Week for crying out loud! Why was this necessary? I mean that both ways.
That’s my first and last complaint about the director here because, just like his last film Bikini Model Mayhem, I enjoyed the movie. These very rarely turn me on, but Miers obviously knows that a lot of people who aren’t kids don’t watch most of these films for that reason. They watch for the laughs, the spoof, the jokes, the references, etc. He delivers. The central spoof here is of the Netflix show Orange Is The New Black. You knew that was coming because at least this time the title gives you an idea of what the film is going to be about. However, he works in several other references including one I’m really happy about because someone had to do it.
The movie opens up and we are introduced to Georgina (Jacqui Holland), Sarducci (Derrick Pierce), and what I’m pretty sure is a new breed of tribble. According to his credits on IMDb, Derrick here has played the porno version of Lex Luthor, Crossbones, Deadpool, and Bane.
Georgina is a reporter who is trying to get information from this mafioso type about what a Mr. Big did with $50 million dollars from a casino heist. He makes sure she isn’t wearing a wire, which means showing her breasts. We already saw that she is carrying a recorder and just put it in her purse. He’s not too bright. I think that tribble is leaching off his brain. She agrees to let him get his hands on her “fun bags”, but she would prefer a running joke of this movie…
be called the horizontal hula for now. Now we get an odd back and forth about saying yes and no. This guy plays it safe and is generally confused till she makes it clear that she really does mean yes. I really don’t know why it’s there other than to subtly put in a message here for people that unless the person explicitly says yes, then don’t take the chance. Of course they have sex now. The tribble decides to sit this one out. Georgina kindly tosses it on the floor.
Sarducci held up his end of the bargain and “filled [her] in.” Mr. Big has a mistress in prison named Renee Dobbins (Sarah Hunter) who is in jail and not taking interviews. That’s when I’m Shipping Up To Boston by Dropkick Murphys starts playing as we cut to jail because Georgina is going undercover to get the story she hopes will win her a Pulitzer.
Okay, I’m sure if Sal could have played it, then he would have. The movie does borrow the plot element from The Departed (2006) that you expect. She is lead down a hallway by a guy name Jenkins played by Andrew Espinoza Long. I’ve apparently seen every one of these he’s done. The best is easily when he played G.W. Bushwacker in Bikini Model Mayhem. He takes her to a cell, but is quickly whisked off to meet Warden Thorne.
Warden Thorne is played by veteran actor Katie Morgan. You may have actually seen her in mainstream fair such as Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008) and L!fe Happens (2011). She’s here to tell Georgina about rough and tough prison life. She’s also here so Miers can begin the other running gag in this movie at the expense of director Jared Cohn and his stupid sexploitation film Jailbait (2014).
That’s right! Bras! This movie will make sure you know that women wear bras or bra tops. In Jailbait the lead actress would take off her top all the time. She never seemed to have a bra on. This movie makes sure you see it when the scene starts, often keeps them on for a portion of the scene, and has them put it back on afterwards.
Miers may not have been doing this for that reason, but I really like to think this movie is making fun of how ridiculous Jailbait was in that respect. Trust me. If you watch that movie, then you’ll understand.
The Warden tells Georgina that the person she is looking for is in solitary confinement and to keep all this on the down low. I love how they have Jacqui Holland basically do a porno version of Marilyn Monroe in these movies.
We never really believe that she’s an idiot, but she also never plays a character that is super savvy either.
Now Georgina returns to her cell and we meet Erika Jordan playing Crazy Ass. Aside from her numerous Late Night Cable movies, you just might have noticed her in a cameo appearance in Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (2015). Makes sense. I’ve seen at least two actors from these movies show up in SyFy films.
We find out Crazy Ass once lost her girl cause she went straight. Georgina knows her pain because her lover found out he was gay and ran off with her brother. She also mentions that she hasn’t talked to him since the wedding. Based on the two movies I’ve now seen directed by Miers, it’s obvious he has set his guns on current political issues and is quite opinionated about them.
Once again, they keep those tops on to one degree or another for a good period of their scene. This is probably as good a time as any to mention that we have the return of that awful music from some of the worst of these. At least we don’t get the Johnny Wet Pants song here.
After cutting to a shot of the corner of a prison fence, Crazy Ass reminds us there is actually a plot of sorts here. Then she reminds us that this isn’t Drive (1974), despite her threat here.
Also, it wouldn’t pan out because Georgina already had her tonsils removed.
Back in the cell, Georgina needs to make a phone call, which in the universe of an Orange Is The New Black spoof means reminding us about the running joke of the movie.
Again, the movie reminds us that women do indeed wear bras.
They also put them back on.
Georgina makes her phone call, but finds out the person who knew she was undercover in prison has died.
Notice they made sure to put everything back on the desk. Let that be a lesson to you people. If you are going to have sex in somebodies office, then do the courteous thing by cleaning up your mess. We now return to the cell.
Holland, you already made that threat back in Bikini Model Mayhem. You aren’t Arachne from Drive. Plus, if you keep saying that in these movies, then I’m never going to be able to watch the Hallmark movie Flower Shop Mystery: Snipped in the Bud without thinking about that. We are again reminded that women wear bras and are not just waiting around to lift up their top.
Miers put a not so subtle reference to another movie he recently released this year called Vixens from Venus on the wall in the form of a poster of the solar system. At least it doesn’t say it’s from 1991. What the hell was that in Trancers 6 anyways?
Now Miers takes a pot shot at Clinton and his “definition of ‘is’ is” line before cutting to the lunch room so we can finally be introduced to the one other character you have to spoof from Orange Is The New Black.
That’s Sarah Hunter doing her impersonation of actor Laura Prepon’s character Alex Vause. It’s been about a year or so since I’ve watched Orange Is The New Black, but I think Hunter did a good job here. They not only got the look right, but Sarah does the voice as well and the way she carries herself in general. Kudos to you, Sarah. This is Renee Dobbins.
Now the film introduces how this movie is going to end.
No joke. French Toast that is hard as a rock will be Georgina’s salvation here.
After a conversation to mention there really is meant to be a plot here, Jenkins gets called into the Warden’s office so the movie can remind us that the new Star Wars movie has a porny title.
I love the storage cabinets next to him. Looks like something I could go downtown and buy at The Container Store.
Back in gym, Dobbins shows up to play guess who. Then they have sex because Dobbins needs to make sure that Georgina is going to choose to be with her. This is also part of the spoofing of Orange Is The New Black where the show always teased us whether Piper was a lesbian or bisexual. At least up till the point I stopped watching it.
I love how it now cuts to random shots of prison fences like it does throughout, but then immediately cuts to Georgina finishing burping the worm.
Jokes on him though because she won’t be there in the morning. Turns out Dobbins has been digging a hole with the hard French Toast. By a hole, I mean this.
We also find out that Dobbins was Mr. Big the whole time. She has $50 million dollars waiting on the outside for them. We also find out that the Pope may “shit in the woods”, but Georgina isn’t sure. Then they escape, but not before making a joke that it’s funny for a lesbian convict to tell Georgina to keep going straight. The next morning, Jenkins shows up for his burping, Crazy Ass says they’re not there, and she’s happy for them. End of sort of story.
This one isn’t as good as Bikini Model Mayhem. This one does do far less spoof and more sex. That’s unfortunate. However, this one does something I haven’t seen in any of these. It shows a blooper.
Now, I know what you’re asking. Why, if I am about to review a film from the 1940s, am I sneaking a random Degrassi GIF into this review? Well, unfortunately, the movie that I’m about to review isn’t that interesting and there’s not a whole lot to be said about it. I’ve found some enjoyable and interesting films in the box set — The Black Book, Trapped, the original Jungle Book — but I’ve also found a few that are pretty forgettable. So, why not liven things up with a shout-out to my favorite show?
Anyway, the 14th film from The Fabulous Forties Box Set was 1945’s The Stork Club.
When I saw that this film was called The Stork Club, my first thought was that it would be a comedy about pregnancy. But it turns out that I was totally wrong. Apparently, The Stork Club was a very popular New York nightclub in the 1940s and this film was meant to take advantage of that popularity. (That said, according to the imdb, The Stork Club was not filmed at the actual Stork Club but instead on a Hollywood soundstage.)
As for the film’s story — well, this isn’t going to make much sense but here’s what happens. A millionaire named J.B. (charming, Irish-accented Barry Fitzgerald) falls into a pond and nearly drowns. Fortunately, his life is saved by Judy (Betty Hutton).
J.B. wants to reward Judy but, for some reason, he doesn’t want her to know that he’s rich. So, with the help of his lawyer (Robert Benchley), he anonymously arranges for Judy to get both a new apartment and an unlimited credit line at all of New York’s best stores!
But J.B. also wants to keep an eye on Judy and make sure that she’s happy. But he still doesn’t want her to know that he’s a millionaire or that he’s her benefactor. After he finds out that she’s a hatcheck girl at the Stork Club, he arranges to get hired on as a busboy. However, he gets fired after just one night and, believing him to be poor and homeless, Judy invites him to stay at her new apartment.
J.B. agrees and, in the film’s best, non-musical moment, he watches as Judy recklessly spends his money on new clothes. It turns out that Judy thinks that the apartment and the credit line are all gifts from the owner of the Stork Club and she’s offended because she thinks the owner is trying to steal her away from her boyfriend, Danny Wilson (Don DeFore).
Danny is a bandleader but he’s been serving in the U.S. Army. When Danny finally returns home, Judy is excited about arranging for him to get an audition to play at the Stork Club. However, Danny is more concerned about the fact that Judy has a mysterious benefactor and that she’s now living in a luxury apartment with a mysterious old man.
Could Judy be a kept woman!? Both Judy and J.B. insist that she is not but Danny refuses to believe them because Danny is kind of a jerk. Of course, Danny isn’t meant to be a jerk but, by today’s standards, he’s definitely a jerk. Judy could do so much better!
Anyway, the plot’s not really that important. It’s mostly just an excuse for Betty Hutton to sing a few songs and that’s when the movie is at its best. Check out some of Betty’s performances below:
Anyway, The Stork Club was pleasant but not particularly memorable. When it works, it’s largely due to the endless charm of Betty Hutton and Barry Fitzgerald. It may not seem like much today but I’m sure that, for audiences dealing with the contemporary horrors of World War II, The Stork Club presented a nice diversion.
Happy birthday to me! Yes, I share my birthday with such luminaries as Charlie Chaplin, Christine McIntyre, Peter Ustinov, Henry Mancini, and coach Bill Belichick! Seeing as how we here in Massachusetts have a three-day weekend (Patriot’s Day on Monday), I’ll be pretty busy. But before I step away from the blogosphere for a few days, I thought I’d try to find something to share from the year I was born (yes, I’m THAT old!!).
What I stumbled upon was LOST, LONELY, AND VICIOUS, a fictional retelling of the James Dean mystique, right down to the two leads (superficially) resembling Dean and his REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE co-star, Natalie Wood. It’s the story of Johnny Dennis (initials JD, get it?), a young actor “obsessed with death” on the cusp of stardom. Despite by awful acting and wretched dialogue, I kind of enjoyed it. No accounting for taste, I guess! There aren’t any…
Did you see Jackie Robinson hit that ball? It went zoomin cross the left field wall. Yeah boy, yes, yes. Jackie hit that ball.
And when he swung his bat, the crowd went wild, because he knocked that ball a solid mile. Yeah boy, yes, yes. Jackie hit that ball.
Satchel Paige is mellow, so is Campanella, Newcombe and Doby, too. But it’s a natural fact, when Jackie comes to bat, the other team is through.
Did you see Jackie Robinson hit that ball? Did he hit it? Yeah, and that ain’t all. He stole home. Yes, yes, Jackie’s real gone.
Did you see Jackie Robinson hit that ball? Did he hit it? Yeah, and that ain’t all. He stole home. Yes, yes, Jackie’s real gone. Jackie’s is a real gone guy.
As a bonus, here’s Jackie Robinson stealing home plate at the 1955 world series! Yogi Berra said Jackie was out. The umpire disagreed.
With the Trancers series done, I’ve decided to move onto the Angel series. I honestly had no idea what I was in for here. The box art appears to have a 12 year-old on the cover once as “High School Honor Student by day,” and then “Hollywood Hooker by night.” The DVD has the first three films on it. I’m quite sure that the girl on the cover is neither Donna Wilkes, Betsy Russell, or Mitzi Kapture.
Anyways, as I watched it, I knew this movie reminded me of a film I saw late last year. It took me some time because this movie is so subtle about it. Then it came to me. That movie of course being Crackdown Mission (1988).
Crackdown Mission (1988, dir. Godfrey Ho)
Why not? Might as well have been. That’s the Godfrey Ho movie where he spliced Pierre Kirby into the Taiwanese film Girl with a Gun (1982).
Girl with a Gun (1982, dir. Yao-Chi Chen)
Girl with a Gun was a Taiwanese remake of Ms. 45 (1981).
Ms. 45 (1981, dir. Abel Ferrara)
Ms. 45 being Abel Ferrara’s reworking of Death Wish (1974).
Death Wish (1974, dir. Michael Winner)
Death Wish arguably getting the pivotal opening rape from A Clockwork Orange (1971).
A Clockwork Orange (1971, dir. Stanley Kubrick)
You can go on and on with this. There’s also Rape Squad (1974), Fighting Back (1982), the Death Wish sequels, and so many more of these things. Heck, Death Wish even got a porno version called Sex Wish (1976). We even got the kiddie version, as I recall, of this same thing one year after Angel with The Legend of Billie Jean (1985).
If I got Gary on the line, he could probably take me back even further with movies like Something Wild (1961) or other films I don’t recall. Don’t need to though because this movie takes you back about as far as you can go anyways.
The movie opens up and we meet our lead character Angel, played by Donna Wilkes–and what the hell is that?
I would say that Donna Wilkes playing a 15 year-old at the age of 23 was a product of sleazy 80s movies, but I’d be lying through my teeth because of this.
The Poor Little Rich Girl (1917, dir. Maurice Tourneur)
Mary Pickford was 24 when she played the role of a little girl.
As for the child prostitute bit, let’s get that out of the way too because it goes back almost as far as well.
Baby Face (1933, dir. Alfred E. Green)
That’s the scene where we find out her father has been pimping her out since she was 14 years old. Barbara Stanwyck was 25 when she did Baby Face.
After seeing Angel come out of where she lives, we see her walk part of the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Along with these shots of her feet, we also see her say hi to some people cleaning Rex Allen’s star, fix her hair in a window, and then board a school bus. The music plays sad and tragic. It’s hardly upbeat, but was this meant to be a Saturday Night Fever reference? As I recall, Tony Manero is a similar character to Angel.
Saturday Night Fever (1977, dir. John Badham)
I would say that I wasn’t really sure, but considering the opening walk in Birdemic 2 was intended to be a Saturday Night Fever reference,…
Birdemic 2: The Resurrection (2013, dir. James Nguyen)
then I think I am safe saying it is a reference to that movie.
After getting her homework assignment, we meet this guy…
who looks like he got lost on his way to the Revenge of the Nerds (1984) set. He is here to make it clear that Angel is more mature than her age, but that she is keeping up the illusion that she is still very much a little girl. He tries to ask her out, but she turns him down saying her mother doesn’t like her dating. Now without any time wasted, we cut to home, she dolls up, and we’re out to the streets within the first 8 minutes of the movie.
We immediately meet Kit Carson played by Rory Calhoun probably because Bill Williams, who played Kit Carson on TV, had stopped acting in 1981 after making Night of the Zombies (1981) and Goldie and the Boxer Go to Hollywood (1981). Given the titles, and that they starred porn star Jamie Gillis and O.J. Simpson respectively, I’m sure Bill would have done this movie if he could have. Rory Calhoun will be our reference to silent era cowboys for the movie. In particular, Tom Mix. Yes, he brings up Tom Mix so we are sure to get the reference. He also wears the white hat.
You got this so far? Donna Wilkes is Mary Pickford and Rory Calhoun is Tom Mix. Who’s next?
Charlie Chaplin of course!
I believe the movie wants these portions of the film to blur the lines between people peddling sex, and other people peddling Old Hollywood nostalgia. All of this going on while walking on stars for people who are dead, long forgotten, live far from this seedy place, or are going out on sad ends to their careers in their old age.
We see a variety of other colorful characters too. The movie makes sure we hear Kit tell the cops that he has fake bullets in his guns for foreshadowing purposes. A guy who looks like Jim Varney tries to hit on her. Then after turning down one guy, we see Angel riding with a much older guy. However, she sees right through him and figures out he’s a cop. That’s when we meet the another main character of the film named Mae played by Dick Shawn. How are we introduced to him?
He tells Angel not to let “fatso go yet”, sticks his head in the window, and tells him, “Why don’t you go home now and spank your monkey numb nuts!” That way know right off the bat that he is very protective of Angel.
Next we are introduced to Lt. Andrews…
played by none other than Cliff Gorman. Emory from The Boys in the Band (1970).
The Boys in the Band (1970, dir. William Friedkin)
It’s no coincidence that they introduce Mae back to back with Lt. Andrews seeing as Mae and Emory are similar characters.
You want to hear something really odd? Maud Adams’ first role listed on IMDb is an uncredited appearance in The Boys in the Band.
The Boys in the Band (1970, dir. William Friedkin)
The odd part is that Maud Adams is the villain in the third Angel movie.
Angel III: The Final Chapter (1988, dir. Tom DeSimone)
There’s one more connection here that’s worth mentioning. One of the movies Dick Shawn did in between It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963) and Penelope (1966) was a film called A Very Special Favor (1965). A Very Special Favor starring who else but Rock Hudson. The Rock Hudson movie where he actually says this.
A Very Special Favor (1965, dir. Michael Gordon)
Andrews is here to tell us about a killer on the loose who is murdering hookers. He gives us some info about him like he’s probably bisexual, a necrophiliac, and other things. Honestly, that stuff will barely play into this movie at all. It certainly won’t add anything material to the film. Now we cut to said killer played by John Diehl.
Most people probably remember him from Miami Vice. I’ve never watched the show though. I know, tsk tsk to me. He plays every serial killer from every 80s and early 90s movie ever made that had such a character in it. I’ll show you just how much of a stereotype he is later on. You’d think Mae was the major stereotype of the film, but it’s the killer.
Now we get a tender moment between Chaplin, who is called Yo-Yo Charlie (Steven M. Porter), and the soon to be dead hooker named Crystal (Donna McDaniel). According to IMDb, Yo-Yo Charlie will make a return in the sequel. That’s not good. Anyways, he gives her a spinning top, she is soon picked up literally and figuratively by the killer, and then stabbed in the back. I actually like what they did here. In any other movie her death would have started the film to be the opening kill, which also would have established there’s a killer on the loose. Here her death has meaning, still kicks off the plot, and foreshadows a much more important death later in the film that bookends this opening kill. We also have warmed up to her in the short time we have known her so the silent stab in the back actually has some bite and we feel for Charlie when he finds out she’s dead. It helps to set a different tone for the movie than a slasher film.
Then we see the killer with her body.
That will be the last time you see any reference to the necrophilia thing. It’s one of those things in here that makes me feel the movie was rushed because it will suddenly have amnesia about something that seems like it would be pretty important.
Then we cut back to the streets so we can hear Rory Calhoun drop some more names. He mentions Ken Maynard, Buck Jones, and I believe he is about to say William S. Hart when Angel sticks her finger in his back so I can make a reference to Field of Dreams (1989).
Field of Dreams (1989, dir. Phil Alden Robinson)
Field of Dreams (1989, dir. Phil Alden Robinson)
We have one final major character to be introduced to at this point. That’s why Mae and Angel go back to where they live so we can meet the landlord named Solly played by Susan Tyrrell. Mae accuses her of making the movie Truth (2015), but…
it turns out she is simply doing foreshadowing by numbers. She calls it Fruit With Gun. Mae calls it “shit.” Solly also has a gun about half the size of Angel for later plot convenience.
Now we get a couple of short scenes of Angel at home to start to reveal her background that will explain why her mother and father aren’t around. It’s also there so that we know that both Angel and the killer have troubled backgrounds when it comes to their parents. Except they have dealt with it in completely different ways, but ways that have both lead them to the streets. That’s when we get this scene.
Yep, he makes out with an egg while a creepy picture of him and his mother hangs in the background till he crushes the egg, then kisses the picture. This movie came out in 1984. By 1986 they were already making fun of this exact kind of character.
Ruthless People (1986, dir. Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, & Jerry Zucker)
Ruthless People (1986, dir. Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, & Jerry Zucker)
Ruthless People (1986, dir. Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, & Jerry Zucker)
Ruthless People (1986, dir. Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, & Jerry Zucker)
Might as well be the Bedroom Killer from Ruthless People (1986).
At this point we are about 25 minutes into the movie so it’s like it all of a sudden wakes up and remembers she’s supposed to be a high school student so we better cut back there now. Sometimes there’s an actual reason, and other times it is just there to work naked ladies into the movie because they could have done the scene without having them there. This time around we meet Ric who will be our Biff Tannen for the movie except with little to no plot significance.
You might recognize actor David Underwood if you owned a Sega CD back in the day.
Sewer Shark (1992, dir. John Dykstra)
It’s a shame he didn’t overact this part like he did Ghost in Sewer Shark.
We also meet Patricia Allen played by Elaine Giftos who works for Angel’s school.
She’s here so that the film will have a way of having Angel’s secret about not having her parents around anymore come out and give the last kill an extra punch to the stomach. Throughout this movie I kept thinking I had seen her in something else. Apparently that place was a single episode of Magnum P.I.
Magnum P.I.
I’m not sure what that says about me other than I must like that show more than I thought I did.
Now we finally come around so that our characters can discover the hooker from the beginning has been murdered. Charlie is quite broken up about it. He’s even holding the top he gave her, which is now covered in blood. Mae, Angel, and Kit have a run in with Andrews about their friend being murdered. But with no wasted time at all, we are reintroduced to another unimportant hooker friend from the beginning who runs right over to the killer and leaves with him. In short order she’s dead.
We see Angel arrive with a client who has a Quebec license plate?
Your guess is as good as mine about that one. He finds the dead hooker, then Angel finds her too. The movie cuts to the killer bare ass naked scrubbing himself. The scene seems to go on forever. You’d think this is some sort of I need to wash myself clean thing, but just like the necrophilia bit, it doesn’t amount to anything. At times it feels like there was originally a script for this movie that didn’t include his character because he almost feels like an afterthought. That, or there was a script that did have more for his character, but was cut so this film would only get an R rating.
Now we get one of several scenes in this movie that seem to only exist to remind us that Cliff Gorman, Dick Shawn, Rory Calhoun, and Susan Tyrrell are good actors. Say what you will about the movie, Donna Wlikes, and the fact that Lisa hasn’t reviewed her comeback film 90210 Shark Attack (2014), but they surrounded her with quality.
After Angel gets harassed by Sewer Shark, we cut to the locker room to see cheerleaders getting dressed. It’s weird because it suddenly feels like you’ve slipped out of Angel and into Debbie Does Dallas (1978).
We get a scene of our killer at a porno theater to remind us that Taxi Driver (1976) exists. Would have made my day if he were watching Bat Pussy (1973). He’s arrested and brought in for a lineup so that he can break free to nearly kill Angel and Andrews. This is when the movie gets on the fast track to its conclusion. This is only at about the halfway point, but the remainder of the film will be everything unraveling till Angel is pushed past the tipping point and decides to go Ms. 45 on the streets to get the killer.
After we find out that Angel has been on the street since she was 12, the next important scene is between Mae and Angel. Angel buys a gun…
so that we can then see her visit a church and nearly drop it in the “Offerings” box. She comes close, but puts some money into it instead. Then empowering music plays as we get a long shot of her walking from the back to the front of the church.
Angel pays a visit to Kit’s place now. Not really so we can see her get a shooting lesson, but so that we can setup the ending by making us aware that Kit does indeed know how to shoot. He carries fake bullets when he works the streets, but the guns are real.
Now Angel gets kidnapped by Sewer Shark and his gang just so that we know that she not only has the gun and has been shown how to use that gun, but is willing to fire it if necessary. It’s a minor scene that doesn’t have much importance to the film in the end. Unlike the next scene when it cuts to naked women in the locker room showering. Actually this scene does serve a purpose beyond naked women. It’s there so that we can overhear that Sewer Shark has spread rumors about her, which ultimately leads Patricia to find Angel’s gun. To toss an extra cherry on top of her trauma, the Andy Dick looking guy from earlier actually tries to buy her services. It’s all enough that she now goes to Andrews to talk to him about what’s going on.
Now the film loops us back to the death of Crystal. It starts with Mae and Solly arguing over a game of cribbage like an old married couple. They are funny in this scene. Just like I could go for a TV Show made up of Bea Arthur tending bar from The Star Wars Holiday Special, I could also go for a whole movie with these two.
This scene is the equivalent of Charlie giving the girl his spinning top. We also get a scene where Mae tries to cover for Angel when Patricia comes to visit by pretending to be her mother. That works about as well as trying to convince the killer who now comes for Mae that it matters that he is a guy.
Look familiar?
Ms. 45 (1981, dir. Abel Ferrara)
Ms. 45 (1981, dir. Abel Ferrara)
They both die, but the difference is that they stuck in the conversation with Patricia here to remind us that Mae doesn’t deserve this whereas Ms. 45 edges in this one-sided conversation…
Ms. 45 (1981, dir. Abel Ferrara)
so that we know it’s okay that he was shot and killed. That’s most likely why we first met Mae looking like that guy in this movie.
You could even make an argument that the character of Mae and the casting of Cliff Gorman is the LGBTIQ response to that final scene where she guns down the man dressed as a woman, then adds on that she is shocked when a genetic girl (a betrayer of the cause?) stabs her in the back. This movie even won Best Feature at the San Francisco International Lesbian & Gay Film Festival so it’s not reaching too much on my part.
This is the last straw for Angel. She takes Solly’s giant gun to the streets in order to chase down the killer. They do it complete with repeating the opening scene, except with her walking us following her from behind, at night, in her night clothes, and armed.
Her already fractured innocence now gone.
He probably would have gotten away hiding amongst the Hare Krishnas, but he comes out and tries to attack her with his knife. All the while, Andrews chasing after both of them along with Kit. There is a goof during this chase. She shoots at him here.
However, when they cut to this shot, she appears to have teleported away.
Then they cut back there to show she is indeed still around.
This is one of those parts where the film again reminds you it was probably made quickly.
Seeing as it is the 80s, there is always a secluded alleyway or parking lot for the movie to go. We see Kit shot down before Andrews comes in to take shots at the bad guy and check on Kit. Kit tells him to go after Angel. The chase continues into another alleyway where the film comes its conclusion. Andrews calls to Angel, but she ignores him. The killer grabs Angel and shoots Andrews in the arm. She breaks free, causing Andrews to cover her to take any bullets, but doesn’t have to because Kit rises to the occasion to save both of them.
That’s when the movie essentially has its version of the ending of Targets (1968). Kit and Andrews look at him perplexed as the killer dies saying “It hurts. It hurts.”
With the plot finished, and a cowboy in the picture, they walk off into the not sunset of a neon lit alleyway end.
That’s the first Angel movie. Apparently, Ross Hagen was in here somewhere as “Urban Cowboy.” I have no idea where he was in this film.
The movie as a whole isn’t too bad. They certainly knew what they were doing when they picked the references, the shots they used, the casting, and surprisingly good main song for the movie. I also love the street life shots. I’m a sucker for movies that do that. I also liked the way they juxtaposed innocence in Angel with those who have lost theres to one degree or another while having Angel’s character make that journey herself walking down the Walk of Fame as a schoolgirl to a hooker with a gun. It seems that now days when I write one of these long looks at movies that probably don’t deserve this kind of attention, I either find they are much worse than I thought like Trancers 6 or much better than I thought like with this movie.
It is very much a movie of its time. The world had just come out of two decades of turmoil and was suddenly thrown into one that seemed to want to pretend the previous twenty years didn’t happen. It was also a time when you had a new breed of youth still co-existing with people who were from a time very far removed from the 80s as represented by Kit. To give you an example, Lillian Gish who was born in 1893, was not only alive when this came out, but made two more movies after it before dying in 1993. Mary Pickford had only died 3 years prior to this in 1979. Charlie Chaplin died 7 years prior in 1977.
Movies too had strayed for two decades into cinema the likes of which hadn’t been seen in the United States since movies like Baby Face an other pre-codes of the early 30s. However, after The Godfather and Star Wars films were so successful, the studios returned to the kind of films they made prior to the lifting of the production code. The difference being that they were no longer bound by such a code, but by the purse strings of whoever was funding the picture. That, and on occasion the clout of people working on the film, such as a directors like Tarantino.
Overall, I’d recommend seeing Angel. Especially as a counterpart to Ms. 45 (1981). Just fair warning again, it will feel rushed at times. I have a feeling that, just as with Trancers, this series will drop to watchable next, dreadful with the third film, and unbelievably bad with the fourth film which my “Angel Collection” triple feature doesn’t even acknowledge exists.
This is a delayed live report from Kawaii Kon in Honolulu, Hawaii! (As in I’m writing this several days after I’ve returned from said convention, because I don’t get paid to travel to conventions and report live) This is the first time that I, pantsukudasai56, and by extention Through the Shattered Lens, has been to this convention, so what you’re getting here are my completely initial reactions to this convention. This is actually a big deal, because first impressions really are everything. The first time I went to Anime Expo was in 2005, and today I’d probably have to be paid to go back again because it’s too crowded. My first Anime Boston was in 2006, and again, currently I’d have to be paid to go back because of the hostile environment the city of Boston has fostered towards the convention. But, in both those cases, I went to their conventions much longer than I normally would have because I had such a great time initially. Did Kawaii Kon give me the same impression? Well, I’ll save you a lot of reading and tell you straight up now, yes, yes it did. Oh sure, I know you’re thinking that after flying myself out from the east coast of the United States that I’d force myself to enjoy my time after spending 13 hours on a plane, and you might not be terribly off course for thinking such. However, let me tell you something straight up. Since I was staying in Honolulu, and more accurately a mere mile away from the famous Waikiki Beach, if I wasn’t enjoying myself I’d have had no problem turning my convention vacation into a regular tourist vacation. The fact is, I never once made it down to the beach, because Kawaii Kon knows what it’s doing, and after 12 years, they’re doing it well.
First, let’s get one thing out of the way. When I go to conventions, in almost every case, save for a certain semi-local convention, I go to see Japanese guests. Generally speaking, the larger, and especially the larger west coast conventions are the ones that attract the most Japanese talent. The king of this is Anime Expo, mainly because they have the money and the attendance figures to drive this. However, the #2 convention for attracting Japanese guests this year so far has been Kawaii Kon with an astounding 10 out of 24 guests being from the Japanese side. Why is this so amazing, you might ask? Well, to put it in perspective, Kawaii Kon had an attendance of 11,597 unique attendees. Compare this with larger cons like Anime Boston which had 26,975, and Sakura Con, which has yet to announce 2016 numbers, but had 23,419 in 2015, and both those cons only had about the same number of total guests, and less Japanese guests, with over twice the attendance numbers, and you can see that Kawaii Kon makes more of their budget than any other convention out there. Even big name conventions like Otakon barely surpass the guest list.
But sure, guest lists don’t mean anything if they’re a bunch of no name people, right? Well, for those who follow anime, there definitely were some Who’s Who type of names coming to this convention. The biggest name I’d drop is Toshio Maeda. He’s well known as the Father of Tentacles, what with him being the creator of La Blue Girl, and most famously, Urotsukidoji. If anyone reading this has ever watched a tentacle porn hentai, then Mr. Maeda is the man you want to thank. And not only is he awesome for creating one of my most favorite genre, but he’s also super thankful towards his fans, to the point that he’s quite happy to come and take a picture with them, like he did with me.
Let me say that not only was he happy to do that, but I also got a signature for site founder Arleigh, and he wasn’t fine with the rough sketch he made that I bought, but insisted upon taking the time to improve it and make it look nicer. Plus when I was checking out of the hotel two days after the convention, I noticed he was checking out at the same time and went to thank him, and he remembered me from the first day of the convention! This man is a legend, and he became one of my personal heroes just from doing small things like that.
But there were many other great Japanese guests at this middle sized convention. For fans of the Idolmaster franchise, there was the voice of Ami and Mami Futami, as well as the voice of Len and Rin Kagamine, Asami Shimoda (She sure has a proclivity towards voicing twins, doesn’t she?). Here she is signing an item for me
Thankfully I had the foresight, and the bank account, to sign up for a VIP membership, which allowed me to skip to the front of autograph lines, because she was easily the most popular Japanese voice guest as far as autographs was concerned. Immediately following her autograph session was a Q&A session, and some poor fools were begging for her autograph, and she had to sadly inform them that all her sessions were done. I did see her one more time after the convention was over when we shared an elevator down to the lobby, but since my Japanese is extremely limited, I didn’t want to bother her even though her interpreter was standing nearby. Besides, that would have just been for my own satisfaction, and I never want guests at these conventions to feel like they have to be inconvenienced just for us fans sake, even though I know she would have been extremely polite towards me if I had.
But I did say there were 10 Japanese guests, no? Let me shoot straight, just because they’re Japanese doesn’t mean I’m gonna be an instant fan, but for most of the guests that does hold true, so next on the list is Yumiri Hanamori.
I do apologize for the side profile shot, but my other pictures didn’t come out as well as this one. I wish I were a better kameko. Let me say one thing about Miss Hanamori. I was a fan of her works prior to meeting her, and I am more of a fan after meeting her because when I got her autograph on Sunday, she remembered me from Saturday, even though I was in cosplay then and looked fairly different. Honestly, it’s little things like that that make me respect a voice actor all the more and I’ll definitely be looking forward to her future works.
Next on the list of guests that I really wanted to meet was a duo from one of my favorite animation studios. I got to meet Shigeto Koyama and Hiromi Wakabayashi from Studio Trigger, who were personally involved in several of my favorite anime, including Little Witch Academia, Kill la Kill, and Ninja Slayer.
(Shigeto Koyama is on the left, Hiromi Wakabayashi is on the right)
These two gave probably my favorite panel of the convention, in which they gave a lot of insight towards what happens behind the scenes in an animation studio. Luckily I had the foresight to take these pictures of them because during their panel they were showing video that hadn’t even been shown in Japan yet, so all recording was forbidden. All in all I wound up becoming even more of a Studio Trigger fan, if that was even possible!
Speaking of Kill la Kill, another guest that the convention brought in was the musical group Garnidelia, who sang the second opening song to that anime. In addition to Shimoda-san and the Trigger duo, this was another group that I used my VIP status to jump right to the front of the autograph line, which was good since even though it was a Friday, which is typically the slower of the two major days (Friday and Saturday), there still was a huge line to get their autograph.
But admittedly I am a guy, and so my focus was primarily on Maria, aka Mai Mizuhashi.
In most Japanese pop groups consisting of male and female performers, the females tend to get a lot more attention, largely due to their fans being lonely otaku. But, hard not to see why when these groups have such lovely ladies in them.
Finally, the last autograph I got was of Natsuko Hara. She’s definitely a newcomer in the anime scene, one that I haven’t really seen many roles of her, but everyone is a newcomer at some point, and you never know when someone is going to become super famous. Here’s me getting a picture taken with her
Yes, I look much different from my picture with Maeda-san. That picture was taken on Friday, this was on Sunday, and on Saturday I cosplayed as King Hippo from Punch Out, hence the shaved head (and shaved chest and stomach. TMI?) But honestly, I love getting autographs from lesser known talent like that, because you never know if they’re gonna get that one big role that puts them on the map. And if they don’t, well who cares, it was fun anyways. So fun, that my next pic with her winds up looking like I have a Hentai Woody face. What’s a Hentai Woody Face you might ask?
That’s a Hentai Woody face. That was totally random, but it just wound up looking bad. For the record, this is the original Hentai Woody.
See the resemblance?
But enough about me, in addition to the great guests, there’s always an abundance of cosplay. I myself did some cosplay, as I mentioned before, even though I was censored (Thanks staffer Jacob, for singling me out. Yeah, funny how it was such an important rule for people to not have topless cosplay, except for all those tanned buff guys that were walking around without shirts. I get it, I’m not super great to look at without a shirt on, but you didn’t have to be so obvious), so after that bit of complaining, let’s get on to the good cosplay that I saw!
First off, on the first day, within the first couple minutes of me getting to the convention center, I came across this spot on Saitama from One Punch Man. I alway approve of people who go the extra mile to make their cosplay perfect, and the fact that this guy went and shaved his head makes it all the better. (or maybe he’s naturally bald and he’s just rolling with a cosplay that works with that. Either way, good for him!)
This is Shinoa Hiragi from Owari no Seraph (Seraph of the End). A fairly recent show, as it started last fall, I suspect there will be a lot more females doing cosplay of this, since the show is very popular amongst women due to its implied BL (boy’s love) leanings.
This was a really cute Mortal Kombat cosplay that I saw. You often see plenty of single characters, especially Sub Zero, walking around any given convention, but what make this one special was not only it being a family cosplay, with the mother and her son doing it, but the fact that they made it look like the video game with someone holding the status bar. Really well done and a great example of cosplay being a good family activity.
This is a Nagisa from Assassination Classroom. Since this was a medium/small convention, I was more surprised that there was someone doing this cosplay rather than surprised there weren’t more. I did see a Koro-sensei (someone dressed like the doll she’s holding), but unfortunately I was in a hurry to get to an autograph session, so I couldn’t pause to take their picture too. Expect to see a lot more of this cosplay during the summer conventions.
This is a cosplay that is no doubt near and dear to both me and Arleigh. This is an Umaru from the recent anime Himouto Umaru-chan. This was a very divisive character in the anime community, in that you either loved her, or hated her with the passion of a million burning suns. There was no middle ground. Personally me, and I know Arleigh, both adored her, but I can certainly see where her antics would rub people the wrong way.
This is one of those characters that I’m familiar with, but I haven’t actually watched the anime that she comes from. She’s one of the most popular girls (and waifu candidates) from the fall and winter seasons of Gate, and her name is Rori. Since the spring season of anime is looking slow for me, perhaps I’ll give this show a shot. I would also like to give this girl a lot of credit, because when I was trying to take her picture my camera wasn’t interested in focusing properly, so it took me almost 30 seconds to get the picture. Thirty seconds might not seem like much to most people, but when you’re posing, it’s an eternity. It’s amazing she could keep her smile for that long!
This is one of the more famous characters that I took pictures of. The male is dressed as Spike Spiegel, and the female is of Faye Valentine, both of Cowboy Bebop fame. This is one of cases where the anime was possibly more popular in the United States than it was in its homeland of Japan. The best part of this is, I didn’t see Man Faye. Don’t know who Man Faye is? Good. Don’t Google it. Don’t. Google. It.
Another blast from the past. Back when I was really starting out as an anime collector, there were very few options. Unlike today, where there are over 100 new anime released each year, back then we’d be lucky to get 30 anime. I know, this makes me sound like one of those grumpy old anime fans. Trust me, I hate them too. But this really is from a classic, Ranma 1/2. Here we see Ranma in his female version (for those that don’t know, when Ranma is normal, he’s a boy, when he’s splashed with cold water, he’s a girl and won’t revert until splashed with warm water), and the one holding the giant spatula next to him is the best girl, Ukyo. See, Ranma 1/2 was also probably the first, or at least the most well know among western anime fans, of the harem genre. This is where one guy has multiple girls who are vying for his attention. In Ranma’s case, he had 4 girls actively going after him, with a couple others that had passing interests as the story required. Good times.
This is another blast from the past, and probably the first yuri (lesbian) series that most anime fans are familiar with. This is Utena and Anthy from Revolutionary Girl Utena. When I say it’s a lesbian series, I’m not talking super overt and very explicit, but it’s very obvious as the series goes on. There’s a ton I could say about this particular show, especially how it was pretty revolutionary (no pun intended) in how it stretched a paper thin budget that could barely support 13 episodes out to a 39 episode series. I don’t use the term classic lightly, but this is definitely an anime classic.
This is from a show that I’m frankly surprised hasn’t inspired more cosplay. This young lady is cosplaying as Erza Scarlett from Fairy Tail. To be more specific, she’s cosplaying as Erza equipped with her Heaven’s Wheel armor. Of Erza’s many many armors, this is one of the more complex ones, so I give her a lot of props for pulling it off. Really, you can go to many conventions, and you just plain don’t see much Fairy Tail cosplay. There also was a Gray Fullbuster walking around too, but I’m not a huge fan of taking pictures of guys, and I saw him walking around shirtless after I had been told to cover up, so I was feeling kinda bitter. Sorry Gray, you came at the wrong time.
This one should be very familiar to anyone that was even passively interested in anime and watched it on broadcast TV. This is the Dark Magician Girl from the anime Yu-Gi-Oh, and for a lot of newer anime fans, she was the first waifu they ever had. I probably should explain that a waifu is an anime character that people have strong feelings of attraction towards, the literal meaning being that they want to marry that character, hence the term waifu, which is I suppose a bit of an insulting way of saying you want said character to be your wife. (kind of mocking the way Japanese say a lot of English terms, waifu is the way the Japanese would say “wife” in English since Japanese words always end in a vowel sound, except for words ending in -n) Surprisingly, this is probably the first Dark Magician Girl I’ve ever seen at any convention. At the very least, she’s the only one that I’ve felt was worth taking a picture of.
Now, anime conventions aren’t solely about anime. I myself dressed up as a video game character, and here we see a group that has dressed up as Star Wars: The Force Awakens characters. I especially love cosplay like this, where the whole family gets involved. Trust me, there were a ton of Kylo Ren cosplayers walking around. There were the usual ton of Stormtrooper cosplay. There were several Rey Skywalker Mysteriousgirlwedontknowwhoherdadis cosplayers too. But this was the only group who actually was coordinating their costume. Plus the little girl was towing the BB8 unit around, and it was way too cute.
Told you there were cosplayers walking around without shirts on that weren’t being molested by Jacob. But, naturally he has a six pack, and not a keg. Really though, I didn’t take this picture to make a point, I took it because he’s cosplaying as someone from Shimoneta, a particularly hilarious, yet sad anime from this summer. Hilarious because the content is just plain funny. Sad, because one of the lead voice actresses in the show died at the young age of 38.
Sometimes I just see a costume that even when I don’t know where it’s from, it’s just so well done that I need to take a picture of it. This is one of those.
And this is another. Did they make them themselves? If so, great. Did they commission someone else to make them? If so, who cares? Really nice costumes either way.
So, while this was the second smallest convention I’ve ever attended (Another Anime Convention in New Hampshire was the smallest at around 3000 people) it’s probably the one that’s been the most fun in recent times. Many other conventions could learn from their example that you can have a really fun show and don’t need 30,000 or more attendees.
I’ll end this rather lengthy post with one final picture. This picture wasn’t taken by me, and it wasn’t from this convention, but it was taken OF me, at a previous convention, and it’s the same cosplay I did at this convention of King Hippo of Punch Out fame.
I have no idea why Jacob or anyone else would find that obscene. Some people have no taste. (yes, I’m ticked off at Jacob. Bastard)
Too often these days, up-and-coming directors (or those determined to convince us that they fit that description) try to reinvent the wheel by giving us something we’ve purportedly “never seen before” —and while ambition is great and all, many (hell, most) of them would be better served by honing their craft on the tried-and-true before going off the deep end in a vain attempt to knock our socks off. Besides, I hate to be the one to break it to you recent film school grads, but there really is nothing new under the sun anyway, and you can just as easily “find your voice” —and get the recognition you so desperately crave — by working within pre-established genre confines as you can blowing the whole damn thing up/throwing the baby out with the bathwater/pick your cliche.
Case in point : Mike Flanagan. He’s directed three feature films now (actually, I…
Through the Shattered Lens 